Category: Buddhism & Philosophy

Family Ties In The Dojo

We love our families and want nothing but the best for them. Sometimes, the best is not what we think it is and can only be sought out by the family members themselves. But health and fitness doesn’t discriminate, and it’s important that everyone in the family get off the couch and do something physical at least a few times a week. This isn’t always an easy thing to encourage, and some family members will often be less than enthusiastic about being put through the ringer; especially if you happen to be the instructor…

If you happen to be an instructor of a sports club or a martial arts dojo, getting your family involved can be a good or a bad thing. I’ve seen it all… Family members who have basically been forced or coerced to join and family members who feel it necessary to “tag along” even if their efforts are far below what would usually be required of the environment. It can be a difficult and awkward situation, especially since you need to go home and live in relative peace with these people once class is done.

Trying to teach Nathan the basics back in 2019. Kid can’t take a hit…

One of the best examples I can think of are Sensei and his son. As his only male child, Sensei expected his son to train diligently and consistently. And to excel. A bit of an archaic way of thinking by today’s standards but remember that I’m referring to 40 years ago. The son was made to attend every class, train every day and even to start teaching at a young age, despite the fact that by the time he reached his pre-teens, he expressed no interest in karate. As a practitioner myself, I can certainly relate to how heartbreaking that would be. But it’s important to remember that even if karate is your thing, it may not be your child’s.

The result of that forced learning is that decades later, Sensei’s son is no longer an active practitioner. Oh sure, he has skills that will always be with him. And appropriately, he was Sensei’s first student to pass black belt. Those are all important milestones for both of them. But when you compare it to someone like me, who has been eating, breathing and sleeping karate for over 30 years but who joined and trained of his own volition, the difference is I still make it a part of my daily life and have ambitions to teach.

Training with a spouse or loved one has its own set of complications. Imagine having your spouse in your karate class, yelling at her, making her do knuckle push-ups and basically flooring her physically. Then getting home that evening and expecting to share a shower or snuggling up as though you DIDN’T just make her life a living hell. Much to the same tune as working a job with a spouse, training with them can be rough waters to navigate. And if it’s to be attempted, clearly defined parameters and guidelines for what’s expected and what will be done need to be established. By the same token, making sure that nothing is done that could be considered favouritism needs to be kept in mind as well.

It’s important to remember that the familial title should be the priority. If you’re a husband, then that’s your role and it would be very difficult to be a slave-driving instructor to your spouse. They can hate an instructor all they want, so long as they get the results they seek. But it’s a little hard to release and use that hatred against your husband. The same can be said of your children, as forcing them into something they don’t want to do could potentially sour them from being interested in any similar activities in the future. And it’s just as important that ALL family members be active, albeit occasionally for different reasons.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t be active with your family. You can participate in a variety of sports and activities that can get the heart pumping without necessarily taking on an instructional role. Taking walks, snowball fights or sledding are great family activities. Even a good old fashion pillow fight, so long as you have the space and a safe environment to do so. Nathan and I often just roll on the floor mats downstairs, wrestling and grappling. He has a blast playing around while I’m slowly teaching him some grappling techniques. And he’s started showing interest in picking up the 3-pound dumbbells and imitating what I do during at-home workouts.

My wife does not train in karate, but we still work out together whenever we have the chance. Couples who get fit together, stay together. But it would be a different story if I had to act in a capacity where I had to constantly push her and force her to do more. Such student/teacher relationships can lead to resentment and hard feelings. That’s why it’s very difficult, bordering on the impossible for anyone to fill that role while still maintaining the relationship.

There’s no problem with encouraging family members to exercise together and get fit together. In fact, in can even be an inexpensive way of keeping the family involved together during trying times while getting some much needed exercise. But the day your spouse or child decides to walk into your dojo may require some wariness and caution on your part. The difference between “Yes, Sensei!” and “Yes, Dear!” or “Yes, Daddy!” can mean the difference between a happy household or a few slammed doors. ☯

My New YouTube Channel

Hey folks! I know I’m not in the habit of drafting two posts in a day and it’s a bit late in the game to be posting a second one, but I’ve decided to put my face on camera and started my own YouTube channel. I only have one video on there, which is scheduled to go live in about ten minutes. But I’m hoping to use the video aspect to discuss and demonstrate things that are a bit difficult to explain with words and photos. If y’all wouldn’t mind visiting the channel and clicking those little “like” and “follow” buttons, I can start pumping out videos in tandem with my blog posts. For any one interested, here’s the link to the YouTube channel.

Check out this first video, which I recoded tonight…

Hopefully, it doesn’t bore everyone any worse than my long-winded posts usually do. I look forward to sharing more in the future. If anyone has any thoughts on something I should be posting in video format as opposed to in written form, please let me know in the comments. ☯

Why So Confrontational?

The world is a violent and dangerous place. This isn’t really news; one need only to Google any aspect of world history to recognize that it’s ALWAYS been a dangerous and violent place. But there was a time when a specific violence was contained to its immediate area. If you lived in a small town, you’d likely hear about the assault that took place during the previous evening, but the world would continue to turn. Likely thinking that your small town is a quiet and peaceful place.

These days, even the most remote of places have the world’s information at their fingertips and can access it with but a swipe of their finger across their smart phone, tablets or home computers. People have become much more aware of the way the world operates, albeit most seem to think it’s become an increase since years past. It really hasn’t; we simply hear more about it now. One thing that HAS increased, and I only know this because of personal experience, is confrontation. People seem o have developed a comfort and penchant for confronting one another, either online or in person. And the results can often bring more suffering than it’s worth.

A good example I can provide is a confrontation I had with an unknown gentleman (and I use the term lightly) about a year ago. I believe I wrote a post on this, but it’s been so long, who remembers? Anyway, I pulled out into an inner lane of travel after fuelling up my vehicle. This guy was in the outer lane and decided to switch lanes right in the location where I pulled out. The result was that he honked his horn loudly and proceeded to follow me to the nearest red light where he pulled up next to me and proceeded to call me a plethora of disrespectful names and try to “educate” me on traffic laws. I didn’t bother to tell him, but had he known what I do for a living, he may have understood the redundancy in that tactic.

Long story short, whether in the right or wrong, I apologized and told the guy not to let the incident ruin his day. he seemed unconvinced and unsatisfied. His problem. But it got me to thinking for quite some time afterwards… What would these people do if they confronted someone violent? A wanted criminal or a gang member who’d be just as likely pull out a pistol and shoot the guy in the face as look at him? Because of the nature of the world, you simply never know who it is you may be dealing with when you confront them.

If for no other reason than the fact that you’re prolonging your own suffering and creating some for another person, this is something to be mindful of when confronting unknown persons. And why would you confront them? Let’s look back at my traffic scenario. Did the guy gain anything from confronting me the way he did? Of course not! Has it altered my perceptions or changed the way I drive? I can guarantee you that it did not. I’m still just as careful and mindful of my driving as I was beforehand.

But had I been someone violent or dangerous, that guy might have been caught dealing with quite a different scenario. I’ve seen and experienced it often enough to know it can happen. And this is what needs to be seriously contemplated when one is considering confronting someone. At the end of the day, if something that happened brought you no harm, hasn’t altered your life and you can carry on with the status quo, may consider letting it go rather than confronting another person over it. You may discover that your life will be more peaceful and your stress levels will be less. Food for thought. ☯

Feelin’ The Burn When You’re A Weirdo…

Exercising means burning calories. If you aren’t aware of that by THIS point, I can’t help you. Light knows I’ve written about that very thing quite often during the previous 700 posts I’ve put up. And although intense exercise and movement is the best option for a calorie burn that contributes to one’s overall fitness and weight loss goals, It may come as a surprise to some people that there are a number of reasonably strange and everyday activities that help you to burn calories.

One good example of this is what happens within your body while you sleep. Most people refer to being “at rest” during the night, but there’s a plethora of internal activity that takes place while a person sleeps. Muscle and tissue repair, digestion, brain activity and whole bunch more… I would be curious as to what amount of calories are burned by the average person during an 8-hour sleep. This got me to thinking about some strange or “non-fitness” activities that can burn calories, as well.

The first and most prominent one in my mind is meditation. Although I wouldn’t necessarily refer to mediation as a workout in and of itself, a person does burn calories during meditation. Just to be clear, it’s important to understand that calories are burned for any and all movement that the body performs. How little or how much is the question. And it can be a different amount for different people, based on age, level of fitness and body chemistry. But for me specifically, I’m burning approximately 90 calories an hour during meditation. This means that the 10 minutes of restful meditation I perform at the end of my workouts will burn roughly 15 calories. Does that tip the scale on the mount of calories I just burned during the actual workout? No, but it exists nonetheless and it’s still a calorie usage.

For example, did you know that taking a hot bath for about an hour will burn about 140 calories? This is according to a study performed at Loughborough University and explained in a post by theconversation.com. This somewhat makes sense to me, since sitting in a hot tub of water increases one’s core temperature resulting in sweating and a bunch of other functions of the body. Where there’s movement, there’s calorie burn, remember? Even things like drinking multiple cups of green tea a day or cleaning your house can burn well over 100 calories over the course of a day.

According to an article posted by HealthLine.com, 6 unusual ways to burn calories include exposure to cold weather or drinking cold water. This makes sense as it forces your body to work in order to warm itself and this can only be done by burning fuel. But the article also describes things such as chewing gum, donating blood and even constant fidgeting. If that last one genuinely burns calories, how do I not have a freakin’ six-pack yet? I fidget like a maniac. I can barely EVER manage to sit still. last but not least, the article also describes laughing more often, which will also burn off extra calories.

There are plenty of articles and studies out there that describe all sorts of different activities that will accomplish an extra amount of caloric burn. Some of them are a bit on the surprising side, and it should be noted that many of them depend on a person’s body chemistry and overall metabolic rate, as well. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go fidget some more… ☯

Happy Bodhi Day

When people think of Buddhism, they tend to picture a bald-headed person in loose-fitting robes and beads sitting cross-legged on the ground or floor with their closed and humming softly as they meditate while trying to reach enlightenment. Well first of all, stop peeping through my bedroom window! And while most of that may be correct in a rudimentary sense, there are many observances, traditions and ceremony surrounding Buddhism as a whole. As I’ve explained in a previous post (Oh, You’re THAT Buddhist!), there are different branches and sects of Buddhism. And with those branches come some observances that the Western world refers to as holidays. Today is one of them.

Bodhi Day, otherwise known as the day that Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha) reached enlightenment, is today. Depending on which background you hail from, it can also be observed in early December, although I don’t pretend to understand why. I’m not big on observing holidays. But the December date and today’s date have something to do with one date being the secular holiday and the other one being related to the lunar calendar, causing it to change date with every passing year.

As far as I’m aware from a Zen Buddhist perspective, I’m meant to observe it on December 8th, which is when the observance is meant to be done based on the Gregorian calendar being introduced by the Meiji Restoration in the late 1800’s. I’m writing about it on this day since it’s when I had an open spot in my postings. Of course, I probably could have written this post instead of one about weightlifting as I did, but I digress…

Bodhi Day is observed by Zen Buddhists by staying up overnight the day before and practicing meditation. I can’t say that I’ve been able to practice an overnight meditation in years, as life simply doesn’t allow. But depending on the branch, sect and what country you observe it from, it can also include fasting, chanting, studying the dharma, sharing traditional meals and performing good deeds.

As with most holiday posts, I’ll keep this one short. If any of my readers are interested in learning more about Bodhi Day, there are plenty of Buddhist websites that can provide further and deeper detail. I just wanted to provide a little insight on some of our practices that go beyond meditation. ☯

Own Your Anger

Anger is an insidious thing. Once one begins to feel it, very few people are able to contain it without some sort of mental and physical training. Don’t believe me? Just check out some road rage videos on YouTube and you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about. Modern society allows its anger to run rampant to the point of rage, with little thought or concern about the effects it has on the people around it. And on the people who express that anger.

The worst forms of anger are the inherited ones. The type of anger that a person has nothing to do with, and technically have no right feeling. But they’ve inherited that anger from their parents and/or predecessors, and they express that anger in various forms and blame others for it, even if its an emotional anger they shouldn’t be feeling at all. Of course, what do I know? I have no inherent right to tell anyone what they SHOULD be feeling, but it’s how you deal with those feeling that matter.

The fact is, anger can have physical effects on your body that can be detrimental to your health. Constant anger can have a negative effect on your blood pressure, heart health, sleep and even your digestion. Anger can cause anxiety, headaches and also depression. Some of the articles I’ve read have even linked anger to skin problems, such as eczema. But I’ll let y’all do your own research on that, as that isn’t the focus of today’s post.

Anger can also be a useful tool in training. I remember during my basic training days when I was doing some bag work with one of my troop mates. He was smaller and slighter than I was and couldn’t seem to muster enough strength to effectively strike the bag. I could tell he was getting frustrated and asked me how it was that I was able to strike the bag so hard, every time. I explained that some of it had to do with the fact I had more mass than he did. But another aspect is that I used my anger.

In true Mark Ruffalo fashion, I explained to my troop mate one of my secrets to effectively working out and fight training is the fact that there’s always a bit of anger bubbling beneath the surface. If one can learn to use and channel that anger and energy into what we do, it can go a long way towards pushing ourselves beyond our comfort zone and improving our physical fitness. Since I knew he was a father, I used what is probably the most sensitive area of a person’s life. I had him close his eyes and asked him to imagine how he would feel if someone abducted his child. Then I challenged him to imagine having the abductor in front of him and what anger he would feel towards that person.

Then I asked him to perform a properly executed punch against the bag using all that anger. The result was far more explosive than anything he had previously done. And that’s the critical point; anger (when properly focused) can be a useful tool and a good motivator. That’s for the training environment, of course. One needs to avoid allowing their anger to turn to rage, fury and violence against others. Although not always avoidable, violence should never be used unless it’s for the protection of yourself or those around you.

A lot of people believe that I fell into Buddhism through the influence of the martial arts. And although this is partially true, I can admit that in my late teens to early 20’s, I developed a pretty intense temper and needed a means to control, temper and maintain it. This is the part where I point out that regular exercise and meditation are important ways towards controlling one’s emotions. But as long as you use it as a source of fuel for your motivation and not against others, anger can be useful. ☯

All The Little Things

Humanity is a fat, chocolate donut sprinkled with inconsistencies, violence and a lack of appreciation for the little things in life that we all take for granted. Great, now I want a chocolate donut… 37 grams of carbs for one, five-minute treat? No thank you! But I digress… My point is actually that we have a lot of positive things to life that we tend to take for granted. What’s a bit disheartening is that we needed a global pandemic where the world basically ground to a halt before we started to recognize these things.

I was chatting with an old friend last week, when we brought up and discussed the fact that the “little things” are often taken for granted. This has been happening since well before COVID-19 decided to sink its obsidian fangs into society, but the problem is that most of the world’s population is too busy complaining about what they’ve lost as opposed to appreciating what they still have. This makes sense if you’ve lost employment or can’t get enough food to support your family, of course. But when I hear of folks who are financially independent, relaxing in large homes without a care in the world, complaining because they can’t take their yearly trip to Cabo, it makes me wonder about the fate of our race.

I’ve always been something of a loner when it comes to my free time. I’ve had absolutely NO problem being at home with my wife and kids for an extended period of time, with the exception of the occasions where the kids drive me crazy. That’s why I can’t get all these people who suddenly separate or get divorced because they’ve suddenly been forced to stay inside together for long periods of time. Really?? If you can’t stand the person enough to stay inside a house with them, why’d you get married in the first place?

But I’m going off on a rant again, and I need to focus. In the interest of taking nothing for granted, I thought I would list the things that I miss most about when the world was normal and took for granted, despite my limited existence. Here we go…

Sitting In A Coffee Shop With A Book

This one is at the top of my list because before all of this bullshit started, one of my favourite things to do was to sit inside a coffee shop and read a book. I’d supplement that with blogging and basically sitting there alone with my thoughts, of course. Coffee shops allowed a semi-introvert such as myself the benefit of being around people combined with the quiet hush of folks having low-volume conversation and working at their laptops. But distancing and self-isolation requirements have made that impossible. And even though most retail and restaurant locations (especially corporate chains) have re-opened in my area and I likely COULD go sit in a coffee shop, it would be grossly irresponsible of me to do so. Why risk exposing myself to someone who may have ignored the rules and gone out while sick, then drag it back home to my family? I definitely used to take my coffee shop runs for granted!

Going To A Movie Theater

Listen, I’m pretty cheap. I don’t consider that a bad thing, but I’m not fond of paying money for frivolous things in general. So the thought of paying ten to fifteen bucks for a movie ticket when I can just be patient and wait a year for it to come to Netflix seems exorbitant at best. But I would be lying if I said that there aren’t some movies that are simply deserving of the theater experience. For example, I would have paid that amount to see Star Wars: The Rise OF Skywalker in theatres. I think it’s the kind of movie that would have done well for me on the big screen, appealing to my nerdy sensibilities. But obviously sitting in cramped theater seats with people tightly packed on either side of you is even worse than my coffee shop scenario, even if some cheaters have begun opening in limited capacities. In fact, I think the last theater movie I saw would have been Black Panther. And that came out in 2018…

Visiting With Family

It stands to reason that the holidays have been difficult this year, with most people being unable to visit their families and celebrate the way they’ve done it their entire lives. I mean, my folks live across the country in New Brunswick. We don’t see much of them when the world is normal, much less now. What’s harsh is Alexander was born in September of 2019 and rounding the corner of a year and half old, my parents have yet to meet him. The worst is when my father, whose health isn’t great, caught pneumonia some months ago and wasn’t expected to survive the night. My father would have died 3,300 kilometres away from me, having never met his second grandchild and without being able to say goodbye. Even my wife’s family is only 3 hours away, but given restrictions may as well be across the country as well. Many people unfortunately take time with their families for granted.

Play Dates For My Kids

This is one that I definitely took for granted. I’ve always considered it a pain in my ass to bring Nathan somewhere for the sole purpose of hanging out with other kids. I never had any of that shit when I was his age. But his uncontrollable energy mixed with the lack of kids his own age to burn it off with has been difficult on the household as a whole. We used to have the benefit of a couple of boys next door, but they moved away. It’s even worse now for Alexander, as he’s had no exposure to other children other than his brother, who is five years older than him and in a completely different toy/playing bracket than he is. If Nathan is lucky enough, school will re-open soon and he’ll at least be around other kids.

Doing Normal, Everyday Things Without A Mask

I took a walk to the corner store last week to check my lottery tickets (I was sure that day was my day) and enjoyed getting some fresh air and being outdoors. The temperature was a cool 4 degrees, birds were chirping and snow was melting. It should have been a pleasant walk, but despite the fact I was walking down a back street with no exposure to other people and I was completely alone, I felt like a criminal because I was walking without a face mask on! I carried one for when I reached my destination, but I couldn’t help but feel it was just a matter of minutes before a law enforcement officer would come around the corner and give me hell. Doing simple, everyday things like groceries, getting gas and running to a store without having to wear a face mask is definitely something I used to take for granted. Oh, and I obviously didn’t win the lottery, that day…

Last But Not Least, To Cough And Smile In Public

It may sound like a simple thing, but it’s one we definitely take for granted. Any normal, bodily function performed in public is tantamount to being quarantined and treated as though you’re carrying the black plague. COVID-19 has made people forget that sneezing is a normal function of the human body to expel unwanted bacteria and materials from entering the body (and isn’t a symptom of COVID-19 anyway, but it sure doesn’t stop people from thinking it). And coughing? I don’t know about you, but if I breathe the wrong way I’ll start hacking and coughing like a moron who can’t seem to decide how to breathe and swallow separately. But try coughing in a public place right now and you’ll have the people around you scattering as though you’re a leper.

And smiling is an even bigger one. Being unable to see others smile and have them see yours is kind of a big deal, since facial cues are important in human communication. I’ve had retail and grocery store employees help me and greet me in recent months, where I’ve smiled at them in thanks only to realize later on that I probably just looked like I was staring vacantly at them. Being unable to read the facial cues of the people I communicate with in public has definitely been taken for granted.

There are many more I could add to this list. But as I’m sure you can agree (if you’ve read this far) I’ve already ranted long enough for today. The lesson here is that there are a lot of great little things in life that we’ve all taken for granted. And as we begin to move forward and start to look toward the future at how life will settle on a permanent basis, we need to adapt and understand NOT to take fro granted the little things that we’ll start to develop in this new existence. It may not all be perfect, but neither is life. Be sure not to take any of it for granted. ☯

Time Is Good Only For Passing Time

As a blogger, I make it a point of following and reading other bloggers’ posts. Especially those who fall under the same category as mine, as I have always felt that my personal learning and education never stops. Therefore, it makes sense that I would continue to read whatever words others may put out, in an effort to better myself. I recently read one such post, written by a blogger that I’ve been following for almost two years. I’m generally not one to write a post on the coat tails of someone else’s, but this is such a broad topic that I feel I can safely write my opinion about it without stepping on this person’s toes. And here we are.

If you know me personally or have read most of what I’ve written, one of my biggest pet-peeves is when someone tells me, “It could be worse!” This is basically the verbal equivalent to kicking me in the gonads, and I have a genuine hate for this expression. I’ve heard it all my life, especially within the context of Diabetes. People see how hard I work towards physical fitness, my martial arts prowess and the fact I never let anything hold me back, and they presume that Diabetes is no big deal.

But the reality is that I work damned hard to live with the balance that I do, and Diabetes is nothing to slouch at. Could it be worse? Yes, it could. I could have terminal cancer. I could have been born without eyes. I could have leprosy or any score of illnesses or diseases that are far worse than Diabetes. It doesn’t mean that my journey isn’t difficult and that I should feel “lucky” that things aren’t worse than they are. With this in mind, the second saying that grates on my last nerve almost as bad as the first one, is “Time Heals All Wounds.”

No. No, it does not.

The reality is that the passage of time won’t heal your wounds, either physical or psychological. The only thing that can do that is your direct intervention, often coupled with the intervention of others. On the physical side, breaking a bone or open wounds will require time but will also require proper setting or bandaging to prevent it from healing improperly. On the psychological side, keeping everything bottled up and refusing to talk to anyone about it will cause mental anguish and difficulties too many to list.

Not least of which is the fact that all wounds, physical or otherwise, will leave scars that either remind us of the injury or can be a problem within themselves. It reminds me of the “broken plate” analogy, which sums up one of the main issues within modern society. And to be honest, I can’t find where the actual origin of this analogy comes from, so if you know, please feel free to write it in the comments, but it goes something like this:

“Grab A Plate And Throw It On The Ground.”
– Okay, Done.
“Did It Break?”
– Yes.
“Now Say Sorry To It.”
– Sorry.
“Did It Go Back To The Way It Was Before?”
– No.
“Now Do You Understand?”

The purpose behind this analogy is that even if you feel remorse or regret at your previous actions, apologizing and trying to make it right may not necessarily be enough. In fact, even if you fix the plate, the cracks and scars will remain regardless of how much you apologize. People rarely understand how their words and actions can harm others. And even if they try to make amends, it’s very rarely enough. This is why your direct intervention is necessary in order to heal yourself.

Time may give you the opportunity to mend the wounds and pull the broken pieces back together. Time may allow the metaphorical glue to set, but time will never erase the memory of what’s been said or done. That’s why it’s critically important to take steps to better your own situation to aid in your healing. This may mean eliminating the negative people in your life. Making better life choices or quitting bad habits. Changing your job. The point is, if you sit there and wait for things to mend with time, that mending may never come. ☯

Right Practice, Right Time, Wrong Environment…

Zen Buddhism lends most of its purpose towards finding enlightenment through mediation. That, with a fun mixture of traditional Buddhism mixed with a minty hint of Taoism, but that’s an entirely different post for another day. My point is, for several decades, meditation has been a focal point of my existence. Have I ever met someone who has “attained enlightenment?” No, I have not. In fact, with the exception of my studies of the Gautama Buddha, I’m not necessarily aware of anyone who has ACTUALLY achieved enlightenment through the practice of meditation.

Admittedly, that first paragraph is a bit on the cynical side, as I do genuinely believe that the path to enlightenment resides within myself. One of the only ways to try and find it is through meditation. But for the most part, I’ve used meditation for everything from blocking out pain and fatigue, focusing my mind, improving accuracy during shooting or fighting and lowering my blood pressure and/or heart rate in the hopes of calming myself. Given that I have pleasant soup bowl of ADD, OCD and PTSD buried in my psyche, meditation has been helpful in a number of different ways.

I’ve always been a big proponent of encouraging people to meditate wherever they find a spot to sit and whenever they find a minute. Any meditation is better than no meditation, right? Maybe not… Distraction is one of the biggest obstacles to effective meditation. That’s why it’s always better to try and observe the practice in a quiet atmosphere with nothing but a touch of soft, instrumental music playing. Although one should be able to clear one’s mind and find some way to take a few moments to deepen one’s breathing and meditate, there’s one obstacle that is and inherent distraction and makes meditation difficult at best: having kids.

Pretty much what meditation is like with Nathan in the house!

Children can be a wondrous addition to a household and will undoubtedly add some action and excitement to one’s life. I can definitely admit that Nathan is like a spinning Tasmanian devil from a Looney Toons cartoon on the best of days, and he’s gotten quite good at riling up his one year old brother, Alex. This can make for an extremely difficult environment to meditate in, regardless of how your home is laid out. I often tell Nathan that it’s quiet time, but this only works on a six-year old for so long, and that tactic absolutely does not work on an infant. So, what do you do?

Since the demolishment of my basement, the ability for sound to travel through the floor has more than doubled, meaning someone upstairs will hear everything happening downstairs and vice versa. So despite the lovely floor mats and workout area I’ve installed in my bare basement, I can pretty much hear every peep and bump that goes on above my head. I often try to meditate for at least fifteen minutes after every workout in order to centre myself, lower my heart rate and calm myself. But I’m usually unsuccessful.

So, what can you do? There are a number of options that are available. The first and most obvious, would be to wait until the children are sleeping/out of the house. This was much easier before Nathan’s school shut down due to COVID-19, but having him out of the house for the day while Alex naps would allow for a period of time to meditate. Realistically, sometimes your schedule simply needs to work around your children as opposed to in spite of them.

Another simple alternative is to simply leave the house. Meditating outside is a little difficult during the winter months, but there are other options. Space heaters in the garage will allow you to meditate there, albeit for a short time. There’s also nothing wrong with simply sitting in your vehicle and taking a short period to meditate there. You could even drive to another location and park, so long as you don’t mind people wondering what the hell you’re doing or the occasional officer of the law tapping on your window to inquire if you’re okay.

We surrender a lot and sacrifice everything once we have children. This is simply the reality of adult life. But if meditation is an important practice in your existence, than you should work towards finding ways on order to achieve it, no matter what your home circumstances. Especially if you use it as a tool for balancing your mind and body. Suddenly and indefinitely going without it can alter your mood, temperament and even your body chemistry. ☯

Alright, Let’s Do It All over Again…

Welcome to 2021! Happy New Year and best wishes to all of you, going ahead. I know that the previous year wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. And I swear by the Light, if I’d have had to listen to one more person say “2020 is gonna be my year!” I probably would have vomited a little. I may be a little bitter, since life has been sending me down rough waters long before 2020 settled its talons into all of us, but with COVID-19 taking a firm hold on the world, I haven’t really heard anyone saying that “2021 is gonna be my year!”

Some things that I’d like all my readers to remember as we step into yet another digit on the calendar, is that life and nature do NOT recognize the Gregorian calendar. What this means is that just because we’ve turned a page from ’20 to ’21 doesn’t mean that the fight is over and everything is going back to normal. The coming year will still require all of you to fight hard, make goals and accomplish wonderful things under your own power. The next is that like I always say, life doesn’t care about your plan. Despite whatever goals you set for yourself, be ready to be flexible and change to accommodate whatever gets thrown in your way. While navigating the river’s currents, you’re pretty sure to alter your course if there’s a huge rock in your way (unless you’re an idiot!) and so it should be with life and one’s goals.

Last but not least, let’s all try to eliminate as much suffering in the world as we can. Both within our own lives and within the lives of others. Often, we become so focused on our own pain that we don’t care that our words and actions may affect someone else. At least in my own experience, some of the worst things that have happened to me have come as a result of someone else’s words and actions. And those people likely aren’t even aware of how much suffering they’ve caused.

Despite the time and opportunities lost in 2020, let’s look forward and focus on working towards the things we may accomplish, the experiences we may get to have and the loved ones we still have in our lives, near or far. All other resolutions aside, this year should have you focusing on simply making things better, for yourself and others. When you feel like you’ve been running uphill for so long that your legs are about to give out, remind yourself of the reward that’s waiting at the peak. And the only way you’ll get there is to keep on running. ☯