As a blogger, I make it a point of following and reading other bloggers’ posts. Especially those who fall under the same category as mine, as I have always felt that my personal learning and education never stops. Therefore, it makes sense that I would continue to read whatever words others may put out, in an effort to better myself. I recently read one such post, written by a blogger that I’ve been following for almost two years. I’m generally not one to write a post on the coat tails of someone else’s, but this is such a broad topic that I feel I can safely write my opinion about it without stepping on this person’s toes. And here we are.
If you know me personally or have read most of what I’ve written, one of my biggest pet-peeves is when someone tells me, “It could be worse!” This is basically the verbal equivalent to kicking me in the gonads, and I have a genuine hate for this expression. I’ve heard it all my life, especially within the context of Diabetes. People see how hard I work towards physical fitness, my martial arts prowess and the fact I never let anything hold me back, and they presume that Diabetes is no big deal.
But the reality is that I work damned hard to live with the balance that I do, and Diabetes is nothing to slouch at. Could it be worse? Yes, it could. I could have terminal cancer. I could have been born without eyes. I could have leprosy or any score of illnesses or diseases that are far worse than Diabetes. It doesn’t mean that my journey isn’t difficult and that I should feel “lucky” that things aren’t worse than they are. With this in mind, the second saying that grates on my last nerve almost as bad as the first one, is “Time Heals All Wounds.”
The reality is that the passage of time won’t heal your wounds, either physical or psychological. The only thing that can do that is your direct intervention, often coupled with the intervention of others. On the physical side, breaking a bone or open wounds will require time but will also require proper setting or bandaging to prevent it from healing improperly. On the psychological side, keeping everything bottled up and refusing to talk to anyone about it will cause mental anguish and difficulties too many to list.
Not least of which is the fact that all wounds, physical or otherwise, will leave scars that either remind us of the injury or can be a problem within themselves. It reminds me of the “broken plate” analogy, which sums up one of the main issues within modern society. And to be honest, I can’t find where the actual origin of this analogy comes from, so if you know, please feel free to write it in the comments, but it goes something like this:
“Grab A Plate And Throw It On The Ground.”
– Okay, Done.
“Did It Break?”
– Yes.
“Now Say Sorry To It.”
– Sorry.
“Did It Go Back To The Way It Was Before?”
– No.
“Now Do You Understand?”
The purpose behind this analogy is that even if you feel remorse or regret at your previous actions, apologizing and trying to make it right may not necessarily be enough. In fact, even if you fix the plate, the cracks and scars will remain regardless of how much you apologize. People rarely understand how their words and actions can harm others. And even if they try to make amends, it’s very rarely enough. This is why your direct intervention is necessary in order to heal yourself.
Time may give you the opportunity to mend the wounds and pull the broken pieces back together. Time may allow the metaphorical glue to set, but time will never erase the memory of what’s been said or done. That’s why it’s critically important to take steps to better your own situation to aid in your healing. This may mean eliminating the negative people in your life. Making better life choices or quitting bad habits. Changing your job. The point is, if you sit there and wait for things to mend with time, that mending may never come. ☯
The Blogging Buddhist 