Category: Opinion

Getting A Chilly Response…

No, this isn’t a post about someone giving me the cold shoulder, although my shoulders certainly were a bit on the chilly side for a while. The unfortunate things happen when the thermometer drops… After all, your car never fails to start during the warm, summer months. It’s always right in the middle of January, when you’ve got -50 degrees with the wind chill, that several cranks of the key will yield no response. And such is life, right? Last night, we had that same situation happen but with something that is ironically nestled snuggly within the arm confines of our home… Our furnace.

Furnaces are wonderful. They keep you warm during the winter and maintain the overall ambient temperature of one’s household. During the autumn of 2021, we had a brand new furnace and air conditioner installed as part of the overall renovation of our basement. It made sense at the time, since walls would be going up that would likely be damaged if we replaced it later on. Long story short, our furnace is less than a couple of years’ old, meaning that the expectation is that it’ll continue to chug along and function properly. What is it that I always say at moments like these? Something about life not caring about one’s plans, right?

I quietly sitting on my rocker in the basement while Nathan looked up his umpteenth video on YouTube on how to build some particular thing in Minecraft. Since I’ll be leaving town for the evening this morning for my eye injections, I was busy doing laundry, cleaning out the basement and ensuring everyone got their Sunday showers before heading back to school. That’s when my wife came downstairs and explained that she had the thermostat set at 72 degrees but that the house temperature was currently sitting at 66 degrees. 66 isn’t the be all, end all of cold temperature but for a household used to hovering at about 70 during the winter months, it doesn’t go unnoticed.

We did all the usual “due diligence” steps before considering calling someone; we checked the furnace breaker, took off the furnace panels and made sure nothing appeared broken or disconnected, checked the filter… Nothing. So, despite it being quite late into the evening and would costs significantly more, we contacted a local furnace company to come see what the problem was. To do otherwise would have meant that the house would have become dangerously cold for the family overnight so I would have had to put us up in a hotel or something, the cost of which I could simply contribute to having the furnace looked at and everyone stays home. I know, I know… first-world problems…

Anyway, this very skilled and capable gentleman comes in and discovers that we’re missing a particular drain on the furnace, which is causing humidity to come in from the outdoors. Although it had been reasonably humid lately, he felt it was strange that after almost two years’ of use, we had never encountered this issue before. He went outside and discovered small footprints around the vent pipes, suggesting that Nathan may have been walking around there. Considering we had basically forced Nathan out to play yesterday, we began contemplating that the little fucker may have stuffed a bunch of snow down the vent pipe, which the engineer made very clear could have caused all the water backup into the furnace.

Nathan was already in bed and asleep but the engineer got the furnace working and true to his word, it kept working all night. In fact, I hear it belching out warm air now. The engineer is slated to return today to install a replacement part for what was damaged due to the water and now I get the fun parenting task of trying to determine if my son is actually responsible and explaining why it was a bad thing. Getting the truth out of a child when they assume they may be in trouble is always a bit problematic. But there’s no denying that by the time today’s repair is completed, we’ll likely be looking at a cool grand in costs. Fun, right?

Life doesn’t care about one’s plans. It’s almost a guarantee that the furnace wouldn’t have given out during the summer months because we don’t use it (besides the fan for air circulation). But when the x-factor to all the damage is your own child, it adds a bit of vinegar into the paper cut. Que sera… We’re still very fortunate to live in a comfortable home with very few issues with food on our table and clothes on our back. Not everyone is so fortunate. Stay warm, everyone! ☯️

The Matrix Has You…

There’s no denying that modern life has led to the here and now; a world where everyone (or almost everyone) is plugged in. Computers, laptops, cell phone and tablets are seen and used everywhere with a very small demographic remaining who have either never laid hands on one of those or never will. Our children are no different, with modern life making it almost impossible for someone to raise a child without the use of electronic devices. One good example I can provide is when my son start second grade and his school demanded that we provide him with a device to do his homework on. This blew my mind and I immediately opposed it, as it’s one thing to pay for supplies that are needed but entirely another when you’re expected to buy them an expensive electronic device just to do homework.

My opposition was not well-received, as I was told that any device could be used, including my own cell phone. I don’t know about y’all, but I’m not a fan of providing my personal cell to anyone. Beyond the fact that I use it myself as my personal phone line, there’s also my email access, games, alarm, scheduler and social media. My phone is my phone, purchased with my own money for my own purposes. The presumption of being told I can simply hand it off to anyone else is ludicrous to me. But here we are. I ended up giving my son one of the older version cell phones I had, since I never turn them in. He now uses this not only for his school apps but for a few simple games and some streaming services as well. This is combination with the Nintendo Switch we bought him last summer to keep him occupied on our trip out East.

The issue is that my children are fast-becoming people who can’t live without these devices. As a result, my 8-year old, who should be outside, running, playing, climbing and riding a bike, spends his down time on his back or lying on his stomach, watching Netflix Kids and Disney+, playing Minecraft and unfortunately binge-watching Minecraft videos on YouTube. The unfortunate byproduct of this standard is that Nathan is becoming a bit of a lazy shit. Gets home from school, drops his shit and grabs his devices. Wakes up in the morning, walks himself out of the bedroom and grabs his devices. All weekend, stays on his devices. Drives me absolutely batty!

I grew up on the Northern shores of New Brunswick, where I spent my down time in the forests, swimming in brooks and playing outside. I put so many kilometres on my bike that I usually ended up needing a new one every couple of years. Maybe that had something to do with my growth, though. My point is, we’ve been trying to get Nathan more physically involved with the everyday life outside the house. Considering we have some pretty nice weather on occasion, our new standard has been that if he wants his device, he needs to spend an hour outdoors, first. Not if there’s a snow storm or bad weather, obviously. But in general and overall.

Our idea has also been poorly received. Considering that yesterday morning, I was able to sleep in quite late (pretty bad that between 9 and 10 am is now considered late) before my toddler woke me by scaring the living shit out of me, I didn’t start out my Saturday on the best note. But I made it clear to Nathan that he was getting no screens until he spent an hour outdoors. In true, teenage form, he decided it was a better and easier option to curl up in a blanket and sulk than just go outside. It was -3 degrees. That’s almost cut-off jean shorts weather. Never mind the fact that the time he used to sulk about not getting his screens, he could have easily burned through an hour outside.

Look, I get it… It’s 2023 and everyone and everything is tethered to the electronic frontier. There’s no living completely device-free because no matter how you live, you’ll eventually need technology in some given way, shape or form. I just don’t want technology being the only way my children experience life. Ultimately, he conceded and went outside. Although I don’t like that it turned into a negotiation, at least I got him outside. I think it’s one of those scenarios where the parent gets to say, “Someday you’ll thank me…” ☯️

Back In The Tilted Saddle…

It’s been something of a rough six months for me. Although I recognize that some may have some significant issues they’re dealing with in their own lives, one must acknowledge that our individual obstacles in life are specific to us, so I make no apologies for disliking anything I may be dealing with. My journey is my own. Moving on. Last fall, I faced a strange shift in what was otherwise one of the few remaining stable points in my life. I travelled home on vacation for what should have been a very special trip. My parents would meet my mother-in-law for the first time as well as seeing their second grandson in person for the first time. it should have been fantastic but it turned out to be anything but.

Besides the lacklustre outcome of the trip, which included a massive amount of spending to get us there, I was taken aback at how few people made themselves available to us while we were there. While I recognize the selfishness of that statement, it’s usually what happens when I go home. family and friends make time so that we can catch up. This didn’t happen, this time around. In fact, even Sensei somehow managed to skirt seeing me during the time I was there. I left New Brunswick with a feeling of emptiness that I had never experienced before. Although I was disappointed at the time, I think it had an effect on me that’s been lingering over the past months.

For quite a while now, I’ve had no energy or motivation to focus on my fitness or health. Sure, I’ve continued to take my medications, I monitor my blood sugars and keep a close eye on certain things. But I dropped out of karate within two classes of starting back in September. The pressures of work and life seem to have held me down more in recent months than it ever has, before. Losing that consistency and stability back home made me realize that “back home” isn’t back home, anymore. I took a rare opportunity to have some time off over the holidays. Since Christmas and Boxing Day took place over a weekend, I had a four-day weekend starting on December 23rd and I took the remainder of the following week as vacation time.

Since New Year’s Day was also on a weekend, I had yesterday as a day off. All in, I was away on vacation from December 23rd to this morning. That’s almost two weeks that should have allowed me to relax and unwind. Unfortunately, certain elements beyond my control managed to keep some pressure on, despite being on vacation. This morning is my first day back. I have obstacles and issues to deal with that manifested during a time when I shouldn’t have been thinking of work. But at least I got a few mornings of sleeping in. Let’s see how well THIS is going to go… ☯️

The End Of One Chapter…

Here we are, folks! This is the last day of 2022. I would be lying if I said the past couple of years have been easy. If anything, life after early 2019 has been chaotic and upsetting for me on many different levels. My life has changed and altered in ways that I would not have imagined a decade ago. As many of you know, I live my life without regret, acknowledging that even the worst of things that have happened to me have brought me to the here and now, where I’m married to a wonderful woman, have two sons and have settled down in a life where I n o longer have to rush out of my home in the wee hours of the night. All things considered, I’d say I’m doing pretty well.

Many people haven’t fared so well. And with the coming of the New Year, many people may choose tonight as an excuse to drink in excess, make poor decisions and put themselves in some level of peril as they transition into the next year. I would love to assume that my fellow people would be smart enough to make responsible choices. And I hope I’m right. But given everything that’s happened to EVERYONE in the past few years, the pandemic, the snowflake generation, the state of the world including wars, divisive societies and the continued debate over healthcare, vaccinations and the wearing of masks when necessary, you’ll forgive me if prayer and hope is a bit stronger in me this year than I would usually care to admit.

As we move from 2022 into 2023, let’s all take moment to remember how fortunate and lucky we are to live in a modern world where we get to enjoy modern medicine, resources and a way of life that many across the world don’t have the pleasure of enjoying, despite how far our race has advanced. Being grateful doesn’t make you weak. it simply shows that you’re a venerable human being. And that’s all one can hope to be. Some food for thought as we move into a new year that carries all our hopes, dreams and ambitions. ☯️

A Little Vacay Never Hurt Anyone…

During my years as a police officer, the general rule was that I could between being off on Christmas or on New Year’s but not both. The thinking was that in order to accommodate everyone having their preferred holiday off from work, staff had to split their time off in order to accommodate our respective community’s policing needs over the holidays. It was a pretty good arrangement, although there were always those who were unhappy with it. Such is life. You can’t please everyone. Much to everyone’s surprise, I usually chose to work on Christmas. My logic behind that was pretty straightforward; things are quieter over Christmas. People hang with family or travel, and complaints fall way down. But on New Year’s is when people get slizzered, go out and do stupid things and attend mass parties. Not my cup of tea. But I digress…

Today marks the first day of a much-needed vacation. Although Christmas is happening over the weekend, I have today off by virtue of being owed a day as Christmas is a statutory holiday. In keeping with how I used to operate when I was an officer, I took the following week off in order to encompass the New Year. It will mean that I get a much-needed break. A break from waking in the wee hours of the morning, dressing and prepping lunches and braving the icy cold of the Canadian Prairies to make my way to the office. I’m a sucker for maintaining my work, so there will still be a laptop at home where I will occasionally be checking on things. But it will be nice to kick back, put my feet up with a hot coffee and let my mind cool.

Modern society has led us to believe that we’re meant to work on a near-constant basis with a few weeks off a year as recompense. Realistically, it should be the other way around. There’s a growing trend in some countries of incorporating shorter work weeks, company exercise sessions and even nap pods in the office. There are plenty of tools available nowadays that make sense so that taking a vacation isn’t your only way to stem fatigue and burnout and keep the cheese from sliding off one’s cracker. Either way, there’s a lot of rest and relaxation planned for the coming week. And maybe just a hint of binge-watching shows… ☯️

What Is A Dojo?

I get this question once in a while and with mainstream shows like Cobrai Kai being all the rage, it rather surprises me that I still do. But those of you who know me are fully aware that I can talk an elephant’s ear off, so here I am, ready to explain once again. In short and from a high level, the term “dojo” is actually the joining of two Japanese characters that are combined to mean “Place of the Way.” A dojo is generally a special place that is set aside and laid out specifically as a gathering place for students of the martial arts, like Karate and Judo. The term has been used in other forums as well. Interestingly enough, Zen Buddhists refer to their meditation chambers as dojos, as well.

Unlike other training locations, a dojo is intended to maintain a certain level of decorum and ceremony and is intended to be treated with respect. A clean, proper uniform is required when training in one, and bowing respectfully when entering or leaving is also expected. Unlike training locations like your local gym and only under special circumstances, the dojo is intended for structured training, with a Sensei or senior student leading the other students through drills, lessons and teachings, which can include forms, sparring and even meditation, in some styles.

The important aspects to look for when visiting a dojo include the cleanliness. As I mentioned earlier, a dojo must be treated with respect and filth does not align with that. Unlike what you may have seen on television and in movies, a dojo doesn’t need to look like a bad Japanese tourist trap, with the polished wood everywhere and fancy decorations. Literally four walls, a floor and a roof are all that are required. Any additional equipment or accoutrements should be limited to what’s required for training and not include a bunch of decorations or trappings intended to make an onlooker believe the dojo is fancier than it is. Because a dojo isn’t MEANT to be fancy.

I’ve trained with students who have had a small, square ten foot by ten foot space set aside on their home. That’s their dojo. And it’s adequate for training and all they need. Although it can be enticing to see all the gilded decorations and weaponry on the walls of some dojo, it’s important to bear in mind that such things don’t speak to the quality of the art or its teachings but to the quality of their decorator. And that won’t provide much in terms of learning the martial arts. If a student chooses what style to study based on how fancy the dojo looks, they may be in for a rough ride. ☯️

Tired, Or Burnt Out?

It’s not unusual for someone to get tired and feel exhausted after a long day of being at the office, dealing with one’s children or managing a household. Add cold weather that forces the body to work harder internally in order to stay warm and you’re looking at a perfect recipe for developing a strong case of “I don’t give a fuck-ness…” But one problem, and it’s a big one, is that people tend to use the term “burnout” interchangeably with being tired. And the two are typically quite different. Let’s dive in…

Being tired and experiencing burnout are similar in that they can both cause feelings of mental and physical exhaustion. But the big difference comes from the fact that if you’re tired, sleep, different forms of rest or meditation as well as distractions or diversions will help relieve your tiredness and it will usually pass. If you’re experiencing burnout, your fatigue likely won’t go away regardless of how many hours’ sleep you get. And that’s where the problem comes in.

Burnout usually happened because you’ve been dealing with high levels of stress, emotional difficulties or trauma for prolonged periods of time. Although most people would associate this with the workplace, it can occur in ways that don’t directly relate to work. Some signs of potential burnout can include anything from heavy drinking and moodiness, all the way up to lack of motivation, inability to make important decisions all the way up to suicidal thoughts. Just a touch more significant than just being tired, wouldn’t you agree?

According to an article posted on WebMD, burnout doesn’t happen immediately. It’s a gradual process that builds with stressors from your job. Signs and symptoms can be subtle at first. The article echoes a lot of what I wrote above so y’all can go have a read for yourselves but it does include that some important ways to dealing with burnout include getting an appropriate amount of sleep, engaging in relaxing activities and exercising. In fact, getting even just 30 minutes of exercise a day can help relieve stress and help you to sleep better, which helps the overall burnout.

It’s also important to talk about it. If you’re feeling overwhelmed as a result of your work, talking with trusted coworkers, friends and family can be important. Even discussing your workload with your boss can be important, although most people have a fear of doing so because they feel it will make them appear unwilling to work. Speaking strictly for myself, I prefer to have staff who are willing to discuss their workload in an effort to do a good job than someone who just keeps their mouth shut and ends up quitting once they’re burnt out. But self-care is ultimately important. If you feel your fatigue is more than that, you also have the option of discussing it with your medical practitioner. They may have the means of assessing what is actually causing you or tiredness, burnout or not. ☯️

It’s Not Them, It’s You…

It continues to boggle my mind how so many people seem to be of the opinion that they always entitled to certain things. None will argue that we live in the age of the snowflake, with people demanding apologies, special accommodations and everything under the stars, simply because they feel that they’re entitled to it. Nothing could be farther from the truth but the unfortunate reality is that those who understand what hill they choose to die on usually end up rolling over for these individuals.

This is an unfortunate phenomenon that has been going on for years and likely decades. But I’ve never been more aware of it then now. I’ve often see people make poor decisions, purchase things and try to return them without a receipt, demand things of other individuals and even involve themselves in other peoples’ matters that have nothing to do with them. Just Google “entitled” or “Karen” and you can see plenty of examples of this phenomenon. I’m certainly part of the denomination who genuinely feels sorry for all the kindhearted and pleasant people named Karen. I’m not even sure how this name came to be associated with entitlement… Maybe that would do for another post. Moving on…

The concept that the world owes you any damn thing is an inaccurate one and one that will almost always end up making things worse for you. Although the Buddhist side of me believes it’s important not to cause further suffering and that apologizing and making amends are important tools in order to achieve that aspect, one needs to recognize that we are ultimately entitled to nothing and demanding things or wanting apologies and recompense based on principle will not only get you nowhere, it’ll actually lead to further suffering.

I don’t think I have much of a point to make here and maybe I’m just venting. Most of this is simply observation and I recognize that when’s one thing comes up, I have more of a tendency to simply let it go. Not because I’m lazy or don’t feel that I’m entitled to be treated properly but because one needs to choose what hill to die on. Some things just aren’t worth the overall effort. There are more important things in life than trying to prove you’re entitled. Food for thought… ☯️

A Little Break In The Routine…

Last Thursday was a bit of a gong show for me but offered an interesting take on the day. First, my agency had it’s staff Christmas party. Now, I’m sure we’ve all watched sitcoms or comedy movies where they have the sad little get-together in the conference room with dollar-store chips and cardboard hats, taking an hour to “celebrate” before trudging back to their work terminals to finish out the day. This is often reminiscent of the US version of “The Office,” where the manager would frequently throw parties on a whim.

Luckily, my agency chose to go a bit higher class than that. We actually booked a section of a local pool hall, catered in some food and provided the opportunity for staff to obtain extras at their own cost, should they choose. The only caveat is it happened during the afternoon when many staff felt their time would be better served getting work done as opposed to hobnobbing over a pool cue. Although I can somewhat agree with this sentiment, I also feel that one needs to appreciate the opportunity to let one‘‘S hair down for a few hours and chat with co-workers, especially about matters that aren’t work-related.

It was a good time, with good food and good people. The tables shared a lot of laughs and I had the opportunity to shoot a few games of pool with some of my staff, which was a nice change. It also ran for four hours and my team and I basically shut the event down. It was a nice change from the weekly routine, despite the fact that the work continued to accumulate in my absence. Such is life. Whether I would have gone or not, the work would have continued to accumulate, so it makes very little difference in that regard. If the work will always gather, it makes taking these little breaks all the more important.

While navigating the hectic highways of the everyday rat race, we often forget that each of us is an individual person with beliefs, interests and personalities that rarely get explored in the workplace. Staff functions can be a wonderful way to allow people to get to know each other and spend a bit of time on a social level and get to know each other. This can often allow for better and more amicable work relationships on the job. Food for thought…☯️

The Orville: A Review (Mild Spoilers)

Unlike most of my counterparts, I never watch a great deal of The Simpsons when I was a kid. Besides the fact that my parents likely would have branded it as inappropriate for me, we also only had one television in the house, which was monopolized by my mother and father with the exception of a few hours on Saturday mornings for cartoons. But I as I got older and managed to acquire my own screen, I began watching the show and became enamoured with the concept of a more adult-themed animated show.

There’s just something hilarious about a cartoon that contains adult themes, swearing and comedy. This led to my interest in shows like Family Guy and American Dad. Without a doubt, these are two of my favourite shows and a big part of the reason behind this is the shows’ creator, Seth McFarlane. The man is not only a comedic genius but appears to have the ability to provide the majority of the voices for multiple characters in both shows. one of my associates named McFarlane as this generation’s Mel Blanc. For those who don’t know the name, Mel Blanc was an American voice actor who did all the voices for Looney Tunes.

That’s why when i recently became aware of a show created by Seth McFarlane called “The Orville,” I had to check it out. In summary, McFarlane plays an officer who catches his wife in bed with another man and goes through a divorce. His life takes a downward spiral for a couple of years until he manages to acquire command of his own ship. Then, because it’s a comedy and why not, McFarlane’s character discovers that his first officer is none other than the very ex-wife that caused his career to take a bad turn.

The show plays on sci-fi series such as Star Trek, using “Planetary Union” instead of “United Federation” but still has a varied crew of different species, all with their own comedic contributions and eccentricities. It’s a refreshing take on something that combines science fiction and comedy. It’s fun to see a starship crew using common, everyday language and act exactly as someone would today, all while being set sometime in the far future.

When watching the Orville, one can expect the same level of comedy and entertainment that people have come to expect from Seth McFarlane. The show currently has 3 seasons and has recently been added to Disney+, which is what has allowed me to enjoy it. There’s no word yet on whether there will be a season 4 but for anyone looking for an easy watch with a touch of comedy, the Orville is sure to deliver. ☯️