Category: Motivation

Kids These Days Are Seen And Heard…

I’ve written a number of times about in my articles about my young son, Nathan. He’s a little Tasmanian devil. He’s developed the ability to destroy everything I care about, but doing it with a smile on his face and an “I love you, daddy” on his lips. Children have an effect on us that we seldom take the time to acknowledge.

One of the most difficult situations to deal with in regards to young children is the noise. And I’ll totally admit that I’ve been guilty this myself, but it feels as though I’m always telling my kid to shut up! Have any of you experienced this?

It often becomes easy to forget that children are simply little people with BIG people emotions. I know for a fact that more often than not, my son feels the need to be the loudest sound in the room. At times when he’s quiet, he’ll suddenly become raucous the moment I pay attention to his mother or anything other than him

So, what does one do? Shushing your child only gets you so far. My wife works from home and for a short period, I was able to get away with telling Nathan “You need to stay quiet! Mommy’s working!” But that unfortunately no longer works and often falls on deaf ears.

Many experts agree that there are some easy ways to help quiet your child when they get too loud. First and foremost, they indicate that you should stop what you’re doing. Children are incredibly sensitive to their environment and will recognize the fact that you’re busy checking Facebook on your phone when you were supposed to be playing with them.

The next thing experts tend to agree on is to bring yourself down to your child’s height. Looming over them can be intimidating and make instruction difficult to deal with. Children will feel more connected and appreciated with parents who are able to bring themselves to their child’s level. Take a knee. It WILL make a difference.

It’s important to model the behaviour you’d like to see in your children. For example, even though you’d love to shut your kid up by placing a hand over their mouths, this is likely the worst thing you could do. Experts believe that this not only shows the child that they are incapable of quieting themselves without the strength of an external source, children live by example. This is chilling, because it teaches the child that they are free to exert their strength against younger and weaker children. This becomes especially important if the child is to become a big brother to a younger sibling and is a bad habit they can carry with them into preschool and kindergarten.

According to an illuminating article on wehavekids.com, there are a number of things that can help.

Whispering. Whispering make children curious. They want to know if something secret is going on. Whispering is likely to get their attention more than yelling.

Prepare ahead of time. When planning any outing, whether at a restaurant or any other public place, be sure to bring snacks and activities for your child to ensure that you can manage their hunger and boredom while you wait for your meal. It’s unrealistic to expect that your child will understand that waiting is necessary.

Give them a loud voice outlet. This one actually makes sense to me. I spend so much time telling Nathan to be quiet… During the morning routine, during the trip to preschool, when I pick him up from preschool and during the evenings leading up to bedtime… When does he get a chance to vent that excess energy? I think we often forget that children have the same amount of energy as we do, just in smaller container. This is why they always seem hyper and full of energy. Make sure you provide them with an outlet. Take then outside where they can be as loud as they want.

Remember that they are still children. I have the most problem with this one. I’m often guilty of losing my shit and tossing Nathan into his room as a punishment for making too much noise. The reality is that even the most disciplined child will only be able to stay quiet for so long. If you expect four straight hours of quiet time in the living room every morning, you’re in for a big surprise.

My little goofball and I.

The article written by wehavekids.com can be read here: https://wehavekids.com/parenting/Help-for-Parents-Getting-Noisy-Kids-to-be-Quiet

Children learn by example. If we get angry and lose our minds every time they get noisy, they’ll not only keep getting noisy but they’ll only learn that anger is an appropriate response when dealing with others. Some of these tips may help. But ultimately, you’ll need to learn how your specific child deals with their energy and their noise. As parents, we need to adapt to these trends and teach our kids along the way. ☯

That Chick From Frozen Has The Right Idea…

I know a lot of people seem to think that being Buddhist means dressing in robes and constantly sitting on the floor cross-legged, and every free moment of the day finds us meditating and humming to ourselves.

Although these aspect DO happen, they aren’t a constant thing. It’s comparable to any of the world’s other faiths not following a constant regiment as required by their religions. But meditation is an interesting aspect and tends to cause some mystery to most.

There are several ways to meditate, and unlike the belief most people have, it is not a static thing. It doesn’t always involve a comfy pillow, coupled with closed eyes and hands on thighs. In fact, I have trained to the point where meditation is a flow, and tends to happen whenever needed throughout the day.

Have you ever tried to clear your mind and focus on absolutely nothing? It takes a lot of effort and it really isn’t easy. There have been times when I’ve sat and tried to relax, but the ability to clear my mind simply doesn’t happen.

Sound advice…

Like most parents of young children, I had the chance to watch Disney’s “Frozen” with my son, Nathan. And the lead protagonist sings a wonderful song about “letting it go”.

This is what’s often required when meditating. Sometimes the effort of trying to think of nothing is more effort than just letting the mind drift. One needs to let it go in order to empty the mind. If you take a few deep, calming breaths and simply let your mind wander, you can focus on the nothing while your subconscious babbles to itself.

Meditation has become more of a commonality within modern societies. Many employers will provide meditation seminars and allot time throughout the work day for meditation breaks. The advantages are still being studied, but once you get a knack for it, it can provide a plethora of benefits for your health and mental well-being.

I believe I’ve shared this link before, but this is a handy website for folks looking to learn and start meditating: https://www.wikihow.com/Meditate

Learning to relax and clear your mind is paramount based on today’s way of life and work environment. Don’t be shy to learn new skills and habits that will help get you there. And remember, sometimes you just have to “let it go”! ☯

The Cost Of A Life…

I’ve often written about the multiple complications caused by Type 1 Diabetes and the difficulties it can cause in daily life. But there is an unspoken difficulty that isn’t often discussed when referring to Diabetes. And that difficulty is the cost of Diabetes-related supplies…

Here’s the reality: in Canada, somewhere between 200,000 to 500,000 people have no medical coverage for prescription requirements. In terms of total percentage of the country’s population, that probably doesn’t seem like a lot. But half a million people is still a hell of a lot. And problematically, Diabetes supplies aren’t covered by Provincial health care so private medical insurance is required for the basics like insulin and blood testing supplies.

How my “stash” cupboard usually looks!

Now I’m lucky enough that I have medical coverage through my work. This may change if I lose my job, but that’s neither here nor there. So before I get angry and lose my peaceful composure, I’ll get back on track…

If one were to take a look at the photo I’ve taken of the supplies above, this would be a basic breakdown of how much all this stuff would cost me, if I didn’t have coverage:

The large white box that says “MiniMed Sihouette” are my insulin pump infusion sets. They come in a box of ten and are good for three days at a time. This one box costs $205.00. $205.00/month.

The skinny white box beneath it that says “Medtronic” are the insulin reservoirs. These also come in boxes of 10 and get changed every three days along with the infusion sets. $43.50/month.

Next are the yellow boxes to the left of the Medtronic boxes. These are Freestyle Libre sensors. They measure blood glucose through interstitial tissue and can be read by your cell phone. Each sensor is good for fourteen days before needing to be changed and cost $89.00 each. this means you need two of them every months. $178.00/month.

Next are the vials of Humalog. Personally, I use about 200 units of Humalog every three days. This means I use approximately 2000 units per month and each bottle contains 1000 units. Each bottle costs between $70 to $90 dollars retail, depending on where you buy it. the nice thing is insulin doesn’t require a prescription in Canada. Since I use two bottles, $180.00/month.

At the far back of my stash are Contour Next blood glucose test strips. these are still required, despite the Freestyle Libre sensors. Despite interstitial testing, you still need to test via blood prick every now and again to ensure that you’re actually on par with where you should be. Each box costs about $76.99 and has 100 strips. Since I test between 8 to 10 times a day, I require two boxes a month. $153.98/month.

The remainder are multivitamins and supplements; none of which are necessary. The two prescription vials are Ramipril and Crestor. These are preventative but generally necessary, and come in vials of 30 tablets. Ramipril is about $50.00 and Crestor is about $80.00. Therefore, these two medications come in at $120.00/month.

According to new math, the total for all my medications comes in at a whopping $880.00/month. Are you kidding me??? It costs that much to keep me alive each and every month. And that doesn’t even include the additional cost if I should happen to need more insulin or test too often and burn through my strips.

So just imagine if you happen to be a Type 1 Diabetic without medical insurance. You’d need to spend $880.00/month just to keep yourself alive. Granted, there are things you could do to reduce that total. you could skip out on the preventative medications like Crestor and Ramipril. And you don’t HAVE to be on an insulin pump.

But either way, for a minimum wage earner without medical coverage, you’re looking at rough times ahead. If you’re lucky enough to reside somewhere like Prince Edward Island, where all Diabetic supplies are Provincially covered, it’s not so bad.

This gives you a small idea of what the cost of a Diabetic life involves. It’s not all fun and medical complications. It can cost a hell of a lot to boot. ☯

Secrecy vs. Privacy

Our society is quite backwards in terms of our behaviour. We claim we want privacy and fight for that very right, however we live in a world where modern culture allows us to expose every moment of our day through online forums and social media.

Despite these facts, humans are still quite adamant when it comes to their privacy. But at what point does privacy cross that invisible line into secrecy? What’s the difference?

Privacy is generally defined as “the state or condition of being free from being observed or disturbed by other people” or “the state of being free from public attention.” Once again, this is a bit of a misnomer, considering how the average person lives in today’s day and age.

Secrecy is defined as “the action of keeping something secret or the state of being kept secret.” In layman’s terms, secrecy requires one to keep something from others. It’s not always a bad thing, but it does require something being held back.

Privacy generally requires being left alone. Secrecy generally requires intentionally keeping something from others. The question I pose to you, dear readers, is where does the line exist and is one inherently worse than the other?

I’ve seen the above-posted meme a number of times and it always gives me a chuckle. Cell phones have become the carriers of our private lives and we tend to guard them closely. Cell phones are likely the best example that I can think of, because most people would agree that their phone is “private”, but the level of protection people use for their phones tend to suggest it errs closer on the secrecy side.

The line is extremely blurred and some would believe that one is needed in order to achieve the other. This makes sense. In order to maintain privacy, some secrecy will inherently be used and vice versa.

The problem comes when one uses that secrecy in such a way that it brings harm to others. And if privacy is used in such a way that it keeps you from the surrounding world, this can be detrimental as well. Although choice of lifestyle is ultimately each person’s individual choice, it’s important to consider those who are closest to us. ☯

Happy Father’s Day

Yesterday was Father’s Day. I’m a little late on the ball, but that often happens with me, so here we are! Father’s Day, like many holidays, was established in the United States during the first decade of the 20th Century by Sonora Smart Dodd as a way to celebrate and honour fathers.

Although it was celebrated in Arkansas for the first time in 1910, it wasn’t until the early 1970’s that it became considered a recognized nationwide holiday.

As some of you know, I have a 4-year old son named Nathan. He’s a handful, and like his father, can’t seem to sit still for very long. Nathan created a few crafts at pre-school for me in celebration of Father’s Day, which I will share with you now.

His first gift was a small five-ounce glass jar that contained ingredients to make two chocolate chip cookies. All that was needed was a tablespoon of butter and an egg, prior to popping it into the oven. It made two cookies, which Nathan and I were then able to share.

Baked goods don’t sit for very long around the men in my family, so we don’t have any photos of our cookies as Nathan and I wolfed them down as soon as they came out of the oven. I’m not certain if the ingredient amounts were incorrect or if I added too much butter, but the batter was a bit soupy. We ended up having one big, square cookie. We still ate it. It was still good.

The second gift my sone provided was a card containing questions his teacher asked him about me. I will share it here…

The first thing I’d like to point out is the fact that my son believes I am 5 years’ old. Children can have a wonderful perspective, and it’s often funny to see how their mind works.

The use of “big weights” doesn’t really surprise me as Nathan is often with me during workouts, as I’ve written about before. He apparently knows me well enough to recognize that my favourite meal is pizza and that if I had time I would “sit and relax” haha.

Despite the comedy involved in some of his answers, what melts my heart the most is his recognition of the love in our family, as he indicates that my parting words always include “I love you” and he indicates how much he loves me.

Life is short and is a very fleeting thing. Since we never know what life may bring, I’ve always tried to teach Nathan that telling a loved one that you love them before leaving is important. If this were to be the last words spoken to each other, we would know they meant something.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there, and all the other parents who may be performing the duties of a Father. You’re important and provide the shining example of what your child should endeavour to become. ☯

The Weight of the World…

How much can be asked of one person? At what point is enough truly enough? What is the instinct that drives a person to use another without remorse? Without considering the damage that person may cause?

For well over a year now, I have been dealing with something of a personal challenge in my life. And considering everything I’ve been through in my life, I shouldn’t be surprised by challenge. Challenge, I can deal with.

I’ve built my life around the concept of justice and doing what’s right; I was raised on the belief that helping others is not only important, but paramount. When I came of age, I began seeking out a career that would allow me to help others and protect those who can’t protect themselves. And now that way of life is threatened by someone who prefers to use others to their own end rather than put in the work.

A year ago, someone who failed to pursue the same career path as my own decided to encroach upon my good nature. I have always been the type to treat others as people and be as helpful as possible. I’ve routinely gone out of my way to try and help others achieve their goals. And now this person has taken advantage of this good nature to further their own goals. This has not only been frustrating, but incredibly damaging to my career and my way of life.

Taking advantage of a situation to get ahead is nothing new in our society. Majoritively, it is difficult to get ahead in modern society without there being SOME pursuance of that very thing. but at some point, we need to ask ourselves if our advancement is worth the suffering and damage to others.

I find myself becoming exhausted. I’ve worked very hard my entire life to get to where I am. It breaks my heart to realize that all that hard work may be undone because of one selfish person. I’ve always considered myself capable of fighting through anything. And I’ve always sworn to fight for my country, fight for my family and fight for what’s right. These things are important. I simply don’t know how much I have left within me to continue when I am now fighting against the very aspects I’ve sworn to fight for.

Luckily, my family has been an endless wellspring of support. They’ve offered the strength that I’ve been sometimes lacking in recent months. If not for this support, I may have given up already. But considering my way of life and my family’s livelihood is threatened, I will continue to fight until I’ve won the day. I owe them that much. And even luckier still is to be blessed with an extended family that includes a small but loyal circle of friends who understand and support as well. You know who you are…

Be thankful for those you have in your life. We don’t always realize what we have, when dealing with the daily routine of our lives. But if they are the support that holds the foundation of your castle, even when the bricks are falling, then we are truly blessed indeed. ☯

Mind & Body, You Need Them Both!

The human body is an amazing combination of biological function, mixed with intelligence and self-awareness. I’ve often written about the importance of proper diet and exercise. But it’s also very important to pay attention to the mind.

First and foremost, I think it’s important to recognize the difference between the brain and the mind. The brain is the organ primarily responsible for the intellectual and nervous activity of the body. It controls the body’s systems in tandem with other, semi-independent systems within the body.

However, the mind is something slightly less tangible. The mind is defined as “the elements of a person that enables them to be aware of the world and their experiences, to think and to feel; the faculty of consciousness and thought.”

Who you are is more than just the 3-pound chunk of tissue inside your skull!

Who you are despite the state of your body is what is contained within the mind. I’ve had a saying I coined from my youth: “When you aren’t exercising the body, you must exercise the mind.” This is important because most people assume that as long as they exercise consistently, they’ve done what needs doing. I believe this to be false.

There are a number of things a person can do to help exercise the mind. Meditation is a great first step. Not only does it help lower blood pressure and help with overall cardiac and bodily health, but it can go a long way towards helping your mind as well. It can aid in maintain a good mental health and strengthen one’s focus and concentration.

Get more sleep, and be certain it’s GOOD sleep. Your brain works hard during the night while you sleep. In fact, some studies have shown that dreams are part of a thought consolidation that is necessary for proper mental health. This is where the belief that some folks have that you can “sleep on it” when dealing with life’s problems. If you don’t get a solid seven to nine hours of quality sleep at night, you may lose some of the benefits it can provide for your mind and mental health.

There are certain aspects of diet that can help as well, but I won’t get into those too deeply. That errs a bit deeper on the side of the physical brain health as opposed to the mind.

Stay healthy and happy. I don’t think I need to explain that thinking positive can go a long way towards strengthening who you are as a person. This isn’t always an easy task. Life is designed to challenge us (and it’s damn good at it).

Exercise your mind. There a lot of simple ways to do this. Read a book. Do a puzzle. Crosswords, sudoku, the choices are almost endless! It’s been proven that the more conversations you have with your child and the more books you read to them, the more intelligent they’ll grow to be. This concept applies to adults as well, despite having grown beyond childhood.

Continue learning. Most people let go of this as they reach adulthood, but a person’s IQ and intelligence never stops growing. Read the book you’ve been putting off, learn another language. All of these things can help improve your mind. Many people think that it becomes much more difficult to learn a second language once we reach adulthood, but there are actually no studies to prove this. One simply needs to put in the time.

Your mind is not only an important part of who you are, it IS who you are. So it makes sense to train and develop it the same way as you would train and develop your body. Mind & body must work together. ☯

Free Will May Be Free, But It Costs A Lot!

Free will is a hell of a thing. It allows us as human beings to make choices and decisions based on OUR choices. It’s an advantage we have over the majority of the animal kingdom, as most animals tend to act on instinct.

But how is your free will used? Is it for the better of yourself? The betterment of humanity? Or is it more often used in an improper manner?

I recently posted about the three underlying factors behind problems we face in life. Without repeating the entire blog post, the list is that there are always three factors that contribute to every problem we face as humans.

The first factor is someone else. Others tend to contribute greatly to the problems we have. Think about it: when was the last time you faced a problem that didn’t involve at least one other person?

The second factor are elements out of our control. Think along the lines of getting to work almost ten minutes late because of construction. If you didn’t know that a certain road was blocked off and a delay would happen, you could have taken all the precautions possible by leaving on time and taking your usual route but you STILL would have shown up late.

This has a lot to do with causality, or the relationship between cause and effect. Granted, if you were aware of the construction or were given notice of its forthcoming, then that’s all on you.

The third factor is, in fact, yourself. No matter the problem we face, there will always be a certain amount that you contribute to your problem. Most people have a deep difficulty accepting that premise and will often think “this is not my fault!” Well maybe not, but there should still be an acknowledgement that actions or words on your part likely contributed to the tribulation you’re facing!

Accepting responsibility is difficult because we are hard-wired to survive, and defending oneself is an important aspect of survival. If one were capable of accepting responsibility for the part they played in any given situation, problems could be solved so much easier.

I’ve been guilty of this myself. Even recently. I look at particular problems and issues I’ve been facing within my life in the past couple of years and I recognize that I’ve had more than a small role to play in the creation of those problems. I’m hoping this clarity will help to bring said problems to an agreeable conclusion, but who knows?

I’ve often said that all things happen for a reason. Based on that belief, how effective does free will become? If it all happens for a reason, does my free will matter? Life has provided you with the right to choose during the story of your life. We all know how our story began. And we all know how our story will ultimately end. What fills the chapters in between is where our free will and right to choose come in.

So be certain to choose carefully, and accept responsibility for the part you play in life. You’ll be the better for it. It reminds me of a meme I saw about The Matrix. I don’t want to assume everyone has seen this movie, so I’ll explain.

During the beginning of the movie, one of the protagonists offers the main character a red pill or a blue pill. Each of the pills will provide an outcome, but the lead character must choose. The meme reads “Red pill or Blue pill…Nobody ever told you that you didn’t have to take a pill…”

An important lesson. The right to choose is important. Free will is important. But if the situation dictates it, don’t be afraid to refuse both options and walk away. ☯

Why Can’t We Be Friends…🎶

Life is difficult to deal with by oneself. Humans are inherently pack animals, and we tend to accumulate friends along the way. Friendships are important as they tend to teach us social and development skills that help us later on in life.

Most adults maintain an average of three to five friendships, although most times we only have one or two friendships that can be considered “close friendships”. This doesn’t include one’s “acquaintances”, which differ in that an acquaintance is someone you know and spend time with only on occasion. Friendships are a little more involved in that you know each other’s intimate details and spend an INCREASED amount of time together.

All of this is to say that friends come and go. Some experts believe that the average friendship will only last about seven years. If you manage to find a friendship that lasts longer, you’ve certainly found something special.

Almost 25 years ago, I found a young lad who had quite the chip on his shoulder. I met him at a neighbouring karate club. Given that I was a few years his senior and higher ranked than he, I decided to take him under my wing and befriend him. Although my initial intentions were to help him in his martial arts development, our association grew into a friendship that’s endured for more than the past two decades.

As we grew together, we learned together and it became a friendship more valuable than I could have imagined. Time and different paths in life has caused that friendship to fade over the past few years but I learned many important lessons along the way.

Friendships are important. They help to maintain proper brain health. Friends help us to deal with the situations of life, deal with stress and often provide an impartial sounding board to bounce our life’s choices off of.

Although the benefits of friendships are many, they normally don’t last forever. But as time and friendships fade, it’s important to remember the lessons you learned and the impression those friendships made. Whether good or bad, each one has left an impression that’s helped to mold the person you are today. ☯

Smile! It Makes Others Wonder What You’re Up To…

I was on my way home a couple of days ago when I drove past an elderly lady who was walking on an adjacent sidewalk. It’s in my nature to examine my surroundings as I go along, but something about this lady caught my eye in a particular way; she was smiling!

One would be inclined to think that a smile is not a big deal, right? Normally, I would agree. But here’s the thing: this lady had grey hair and was hunched over. She walked with a cane and had a very slow gait. She appeared to have lived through some of the more difficult aspects of life.

Despite the difficulty she appeared to be having, she was looking up at the trees and the sky and had a huge smile from ear to ear. She waved at another person as she walked by. Did she know this person, or was she simply spreading joy and friendliness? And it got me to thinking about the human condition.

We spend most of our lives trying to get things done. We grow up going to school, we study then get jobs, build families and worry about finances. We spend so much time doing all of this that we often forget to take a look around us at the world that’s provided so much beauty.

If this lady is able to enjoy the beauty of life and keep on smiling, then we should really have no excuse.

Life throws quite a bit of stress at us, so it’s important to stop and smell the roses every now and again. As Mother Teresa once said, “Peace Begins With A Smile.” ☯