Category: Buddhism & Philosophy

Lying Potentially Makes A Fool Of You Both…

What causes a person to be dishonest? Potentially it provides them with some advantage; the dishonesty or the lie allows them to obtain financial gain or possession of something they otherwise wouldn’t have had.  Often, fear of the repercussions that come with the truth will cause someone to lie and/or omit the truth.  Whatever the reason may be, lying always causes issues down the road; for the liar and the victim of the lie.

Lying is hard!  For the most part, the people I’ve dealt with that have been caught in their dishonesty have seemed relieved at the fact they no longer had to carry the lie and could finally breath freely again.  Maintaining a lie takes an immense amount of effort and the pressure it puts on a person just isn’t worth the repercussions of providing the truth.

In some scenarios, lying will cause serious, irreparable damage to others.  I can easily use myself as an example of this, since someone else’s lie is currently hampering the harmony of my work and home life.  It’s a damage that could have easily been avoided by simply having the liar admit to their mistake and move on with their lives rather than being deceitful.

Let’s be clear on something:  it is IMPOSSIBLE to lie without the intent to do so. Don’t believe me?  If someone tells you something untruthful and you pass on that information, not knowing the deceit, does that make YOU the liar or the person who told you?  This is an important discernation.  So if you are lying, being deceitful or dishonest you are doing it because you intend to.  No if, ands or buts…

Lying and dishonesty is generally a staple of writings within theological circles, but lying is also covered quite often in Buddhism.  According to the Noble Eightfold Path, lying goes against a number of precepts including Right Speech, Right Action and depending on your perspective, Right View.

Keeping things honest is SO simple.  It keeps you from having to maintain an illusion and prevents damage to yourself and others.  The amount of stress it eliminates is phenomenal.  At the end of the day, it also makes you a better person. ☯

“Love” Is More Than A Four-Letter Word…

Life is short.  Although the days often feel long, and the years can occasionally drag on, one has to acknowledge that in the grand scheme of things, a single life is but a flicker of the candle in humanity’s existence.  And that flicker can come and go without notice, often without warning, and we are left carrying the flame of life without those who mean the world to us.

We live in a world where complaining has not only become easier than praising and encouraging, but it has almost become a world-based pastime.  I would challenge any of my readers to go on their Facebook and post a status about their political, religious or social views and see what happens.  I can almost guarantee that if you leave the post there, someone will start commenting to the negative about it.  I got proof of this, months ago when someone who isn’t even a follower of my blog was able to comment and verbally attack me for the views I was writing about.

My point is that in a world where negative energy seems to be the norm, it becomes all that much more important to tell our loved ones how important they are to us and how much we love them.  Telling your family, friends and loved ones “I love you” can have a deeper effect on both you and the receiver than you can possibly realize.  But as a society, it seems to have become less and less of a habit than it should be and people seem to have difficulty speaking the words.

In our household, I’ve tried to instill the importance of following everyone to the door and seeing them off.  When I leave the house, my wife and my two children all gets hugs, kisses and told that I love them.  I think this is important.

Allow me to paint a morbid, albeit realistic portrait for you:  Your significant other is occupied in the house and perhaps your children are busy playing.  Instead of disturbing anyone, you decide to throw on your shoes and head off to work. While on route, you get into a deadly collision with another vehicle and you never make it to your destination. Yes, it IS a morbid image.  But it’s one I’ve dealt with all too many times through my work.

Ask yourself, what would your last words to your loved ones have been?  Were you correcting or punishing your children?  Were you arguing with your spouse over bills?  Were they words of affection of argument?  One of the most common things that family members have told me during deaths in their family is how badly they regret not telling them that they loved them one last time before their loved one died.

So, why not prevent this issue?  At the end of all things, the best words we can speak to anyone important to us is to tell them you love them.  After all, you never know if these could be the last words you tell them.  Don’t be afraid to say it.  Make sure you tell your family and those who are important to you how much you love them. Not only will it enrich your life and theirs, they are the best potential last words you could ever speak.  ☯

We Can’t All Be Mr. Spock …

Meditation offers a wide variety of benefits that the average person doesn’t know about or understand.  In fact, I’ve used meditation in a variety of ways, including but not limited to blocking out pain, maintaining composure and helping with sleep.  There’s nothing mystical or mysterious about it; meditation simply allows one to control certain aspects of their outward emotions and reactions.  Despite the fact that it can take years to achieve that level of skill, it’s quite possible.

For example, I’ve dealt with a significant number of situations in my field of work that would easily elicit fear or extreme levels of stress in a person. But some outward reactions would not only be inappropriate in those situations, they could potentially cost me my life.  This is why maintaining one’s composure and controlling one’s emotions can play an important role in everyday life.

As a friend of mine so eloquently asked, “Am I cold or emotionally disciplined?”

Let’s examine that question in depth, shall we?  For the most part, someone who is referred to as “cold” is someone who is potentially shut down, repressed and/or out of touch with their inner feelings.

According to a post by Psychology Today, this is what’s referred to as an avoidant attachment pattern.  And some of the actual symptoms of a person with this pattern include being aloof, standoffish, impersonal, disengaged and uninvolved.  There are many more, and the article can be read here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201105/cold-people-what-makes-them-way-part-1

There are causes and reasons behind this sort of behavior, but we won’t delve too deeply into those aspects, as they aren’t the point of this post.  Let’s examine the practice of being emotionally disciplined…

Listen, every person is different.  And because of this, we all deal with specific situations in different ways. Let’s take death as an example. When we lose a loved one, there is an expectation as to how we will react to it.  But the reality is that some people deal with it and “bounce back” far easier than others.

Self-discipline and training can allow one to develop this ability and react with a level of control that often seems “cold” or “stand-offish” to others.  So, when some people seem like they don’t care, they may simply be coping in their own way.

I use the example of death because it is such a common one.  It’s something that EVERYBODY will have to deal with, at some given point and time in his or her lives.  But realistically, as long as one IS coping, the mechanism through which they do so really doesn’t matter (unless they turn to alcoholism or drugs, of course).

I can easily attest to the fact that in my youth, I was often accused of being cold or emotionless, which is often a stark contrast to the temper I occasionally carry today.  Even when the death of my brother occurred, I dealt with it with a stoic front, barely ever letting my emotions show.  It caused enough of a concern that my parents thought I should be speaking to someone about it.  But the reality is that my coping mechanisms simply didn’t involve bawling my eyes out as some are inclined to do.  And even at such a young age, my personal self-discipline was already developing.

The point is, even if the person you’re speaking to may seem detached or impersonal, if someone is dealing with a traumatic event or grief in a quiet and reserved way, or if someone has injured themselves but isn’t clutching the limb and crying bloody murder, it may simply be that their mental discipline is developed enough to allow them to control their emotions and outward reactions. And these are all things that can be developed through meditation.  Although not physically a muscle, there is the potential to develop it and strengthen it as you would with muscle tissue.  It’s simply done in a different way.  As I’ve often said, when one isn’t exercising the body, one should be exercising the mind.

There should be no judgement against those who have their own level of emotional discipline. It doesn’t mean they’re cold, it may simply mean they have their own way of coping. A personal shout out, to the friend who gave me the idea for this post.  It was a great question and great topic for discussion. ☯

A Strange Odyssey, The Final Day…

Well, here we are; the final day of my strange odyssey.  What started out as a five-day stint turned into over a week and a half.  I have big surprises waiting for me at home and they couldn’t possibly be making this flight any longer!

I’d like to say my week was productive, but I unfortunately had a large amount of down time.  Luckily, I was able to visit with family and friends and revisit some of my old haunts while I was home.  Hopefully in the next week or two, I’ll be able to share some of the outcome related to this trip and why I travelled back east.  For the moment, suffice it to say that it’s high time I get myself home.

Last night was good times; I had drinks and pizza with an old friend and we watched some martial arts shows on Netflix.  It was basically like going back to my twenties (I never drank in my teens).  The following morning I travelled back to Fredericton, where I was able to enjoy a quick breakfast with an old co-worker before turning in my rental car and sitting at the Fredericton airport to start the trip home.

As I write this, I’m currently sitting at 32,000 feet and jetting towards Calgary. Once there, I’ll have a brief layover before getting on a short flight that will bring me back to Regina.  Its been a long day.  I’m exhausted, hungry and itching to get home.  My trip was important, and will hopefully yield some promising results, but I actually sacrificed something very important in order to travel.  Perhaps I’ll explain what that sacrifice was, once I get home. ☯

A Strange Odyssey, Day 10…

Alright, let’s get back to it… I’ve had a few days of down time since it didn’t directly relate to my trip. But today, I got back on the road.

This morning I woke up at 7:00 am to continue next leg of the odyssey I’ve been on since a week and a half ago. I had a customary blast of caffeine, since I barely got any sleep as usual. I was on the road by 9:10 am, since my family insisted behind reason that it would take me two and half hours to reach my destination. Since I had an appointment at 1:00 pm, that would give me an hour to locate the building I needed.

Once I found the building in question, I grabbed a light bite to eat then attended my appointment. Everything went well, and now I’m sitting in a local coffee shop trying once again to remember how I got here.

Tonight, I have the extreme pleasure of spending the evening with an old friend that I haven’t seen in quite some time. Tomorrow I will make the last leg of the New Brunswick portion of my journey to an airport that will bring me back to Saskatchewan. It’s been a weird week and a half and I can’t wait to get home. ☯

Have A Little Faith…

Thich Nhat Hanh was once quoted as saying: “There is a misconception that Buddhism is a religion, and that you worship Buddha. Buddhism is a practice, like yoga. You can be a Christian and practice Buddhism. I met a Catholic priest who lives in a Buddhist monastery in France. He told me that Buddhism makes me a better Christian.”

Religion is a very fluid thing in the modern world. In recent decades, the newer generations have moved further and further from organized religion. Some of this is simply the way of the times; where science and an evidence-based society have moved away from the theological and the unknown. More and more answers that were once provided by religion have been “updated” by science, and faith often takes to the wayside.

I had a rare opportunity this morning as I attended Sunday mass with my mother. As a die hard Catholic, she trained in a convent with the eventual goal of becoming a nun. As I sit here typing this, it dawns on me that I’m quite grateful she chose not to pursue that particular vocation.

As my eyes took in the grand hall of the majestic structure I was seated in, it dawned on me that I had very clear memories of being in church during my childhood. The seats were usually full to the point that there were some services that we had to step out from. But there was probably about 30% to 40% of the seating space occupied, leaving the place feel reasonably empty, which is unfortunate.

While I was listening to the sermon, it dawned on me that Catholic mass is, in effect, like an extremely old form of blogging. Seriously! Think about it for a moment: you have a person who has studied a specific topic or subject for quite a number of years. He then selects excerpts of subject matter, sometimes at random, sometimes not, and provides the pertinent information to a specified audience of interested listeners. Sound familiar? that’s pretty much what blogging is, for the most part.

One part of the sermon that peaked my interest was the fact that the priest was covering subject matter related to death and what comes after, a subject I’ve covered myself in previous blog posts and in other discussion-based forums. The similarities between what the catholic faith believes and what I’ve written about were many, and it brought me to the realization that more often than most of us choose to believe, most mainstream religions will have more similarities than difference in their core beliefs.

There is enough room in this world for everyone’s belief system. At the end of the day, sometimes having faith just means you’re faithful. It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with sitting in a specified building and following along out of a specific manuscript; our beliefs can be just that: OUR BELIEFS. But whatever those beliefs may be, remember to be tolerant of others’ perspectives, especially at times when they may conflict with yours. The true test of genuine faith is trusting that even though not everyone will believe your point of view or share your theological views, we ultimately all come from the same place. ☯

“But I Don’t Wanna Train With A White Belt…”

Some of the masters in Japan used to have a saying: “Black belts don’t sweat.” Not only is this an incredibly inaccurate statement, it’s an ignorant one as well. Reaching black belt level is genuinely only the tip of the iceberg and the beginning of one’s in-depth training in the martial arts. My Sensei used to say that passing your black belt test was a way to finally and formally ask your Sensei to teach you karate. That perspective always stuck with me.

But the sweating perspective is one that has been circulated and that I’ve heard on occasion during my time in Japan. What I have found over the years, both in Japan and in Canada, is that advanced students will often have a stigma against students of a lower rank. Especially white belts.

Some schools have an established standard in which green or blue belts will take time to provide introductory instructions to new students and white belts. This is reasonable, since black belts and the head instructor are likely to be smaller in number than lower ranked students. So for the most part, it’s a matter of structuring. Which is fine.

The problem begins when one holds any sort of stigma against lower ranked belts simply for the sake of their inexperience. I’ve seen some advanced belts who have made their feelings clear, “my forms and techniques are way too advanced to be spending time with a white belt…” Terrible, terrible…

I’m reminded of a story that originated out of a school related to my style, in the United States. They put on a seminar and were teaching a variety of techniques and weapons and students could partner up or work alone and learn a little bit from every station. At one point, an older gentleman (I wouldn’t begin to guess at his age) came into the dojo wearing a white belt. He began stretching and warming up, and I noticed a number of younger students chuckling among themselves and making jokes. It seemed the majority of students were of the opinion that the man was too old to be starting karate and that his presence at the afternoon’s class was a waste of time.

We paired off for some light sparring at one point and a green belt was left with the old white belt as a partner. It was almost like one of those scenarios where you get chosen last during a dodgeball game… You could tell the green belt felt pretty confident about his odds and squared off with a smirk in his face.

I won’t bore you with the play-by-play of how the match went, but I will tell you this: the old white belted man kicked the living s&*t out of the green belt and made him yield! We came to find out that the old man was actually a master from Okinawa who had attended the seminar. He had a personal philosophy against the ranking system and chose not to wear a black belt. The look on the green belt’s face was priceless.

The lesson here is that there is always a lesson. That is to say, no matter what rank one holds, you can always learn from someone higher. You can always learn from someone lower. Some of the best lessons I’ve learned have come from training with lower ranked belts. Especially since their lack of experience often provides an unpredictability that we often don’t get, through structured martial arts. In the real world, things won’t always be structured and will rarely be rehearsed. So take the lessons where and when you can get them, and don’t be afraid to give up some of your time to teach when needed. In fact, the martial arts ladder requires it. You only get what you’re willing to give. And don’t forget that at one time or another, you WERE a white belt…

I’ve taken a break from writing about my strange odyssey for the next couple of days, since I’m essentially enjoying some down time and have nothing pertaining to the journey happening until next week. But rest assured I’ll keep you all updated once things get back into the swing of it! ☯

A Strange Odyssey, Day 5…

Today, I chose to exercise a personal demon… I visited my old high school. Although I generally don’t talk about it a great deal, I was badly bullied during my school years. I mean the kind of bullying that goes beyond the current, modern-day snowflake definition that everyone wears slogans on their shirts and take to social media about.

I often lived in a lonely shadow, hurriedly sneaking out of school at the end of the day to avoid contact with anyone who may try to hurt me. One of the worst incidents I ever had, involved three guys taking their turns beating on me. The VERY worst incident involved a case where I had another student stab me in the forearm with a pocket knife…

High school and school in general, never held any affection for me. Although I’ve always been a student of all knowledge, there was no love lost when I finally received my diploma and walked away. In fact, I very nearly declined to attend my own graduation and I certainly didn’t attend my prom. The painful memories and dislike I felt went as far as having me refuse to attend my 20-year high school reunion.

One of the perks of being home… Access to the ocean!

I think the subject of bullying has been covered often enough in recent years that I don’t need to climb up onto my soapbox, and I certainly don’t need to explain the reasons why bullying is bad. Suffice it to say that once my martial arts skills progressed significantly, the bullying magically stopped. Imagine that.

All jokes aside, I took a step towards personal healing today as I stepped into that long-hated institution and walked the very halls that were the place of my subjugation. I walked straight to the administration office and introduced myself to the secretary. A very kind woman, she invited me to walk through the main area and look at the graduation mosaics, which would certainly yield a photo of me from twenty three years ago!

I would have loved taking a few photographs, but I thought I would avoid the complications of a random adult male snapping photos inside a high school’s hallways! It did spark an idea, though. I asked the secretary if she knew who I could contact in regards to obtaining a copy of my graduation yearbook. I never got one; in fact, I’ve never even seen it.

The good news is that she believed that there would be spares in the school library and that any extras could certainly be sold. She took my name and contact number and promised to look into it and get back to me. I left the school property with a renewed sense of healing as though I had found a way to bridge a gap that has existed in my personal timeline for the past two decades.

I’ve always said that it’s an important thing to remember where you came from. This helps guide you to where you may be going and your development as the person you’re meant to become. I have a lot of bad memories from my school years; some medically-related, some bullying-related. And some of this has made it difficult for me to recall the good times I actually had through school.

And although I hadn’t planned on being home in northern New Brunswick, the unexpected change in travel plans may have yielded something positive. Even if life doesn’t care about your plan, it doesn’t mean it intends something bad. Sometimes it’s just a matter of perspective. ☯

A Strange Odyssey, Day 4…

They say you can’t go home again, but there’s definitely something to be said for doing that exact thing. I woke up this morning and checked out of my hotel. With the sudden changes in my plan and an additional stop added to my week, I decided there was nothing to be gained by staying at a hotel. I decided to hit the open road and go visit my parents on the north shore of New Brunswick.

My morning was an uneventful few hours of coffee and reading, followed by my last appointment in Fredericton. The appointment went well (I caused a few laughs, as usual) and I hit the open road as soon as it was done. After three days of having a rental vehicle, I finally figured out how to sync my cell phone with it so that I could listen to music, place phone calls through the car’s speaker system and use the talk-to-text function.

Lush, forested hills and appalachian mountains, coupled with curving highways

I stopped at a gas station in a city called Miramichi and got some caffeine. then I carried on to Bathurst, where I was able to stop in and have a brief chat with one of my oldest friends. My karate instructor’s son, actually.

I got back on the road and made it to Dalhousie just shortly after 6:00 pm local time and met up with my parents. My father, ever the charmer, took one look at me and bellowed “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?” Now, just to be clear, despite being confined to a wheelchair, my father is a very large, very intimidating man.

His second major complaint was that I didn’t bring his grandson with me! What can i say? You can’t please everyone. My mother and I stepped out and enjoyed supper out coupled with conversation. Now, as I sit in a local coffee shop (because they have internet) I’m taking it all in and wondering how I got here.

The mountainy side of Dalhousie (yes, my vehicle was parked when I took the photo)

Last week i was planing and prepping for a five-day stint in Fredericton before flying back to Saskatchewan. Now, I’m sitting in my home town having coffee and letting the childhood memories flood in. It’s a nice and unexpected turn of events to be able to see my parents. but I still can’t wait to get home to my family.

It would take a lot to flood this town!

I’ll be home for a few days until my next appointment. Following that, I’ll be making my way back to Fredericton for the last leg of my journey and the return home to my family. I’ll keep you all posted on the shenanigans I get into while here. ☯

A Strange Odyssey, Day 3…

Today was a good day. I actually managed to get a full night’s sleep last night, which is more than I can say for the previous three nights. I should also mentioned that I’ve gotten through the entirety of the work day without slamming my head into anything, so… there’s that.

But it has been a genuinely good day. I met some interesting and fascinating people and got a glimpse into a potential future path. I nearly had a heart attack, considering I left and went on to other things without bringing my prized fedora (yes, that’s right! I wear a fedora! What of it?) I had to make my way back to retrieve it.

The Odyssey is far from over. In fact, it has been extended. It seems there will be another stop on the journey; one that was unexpected until yesterday. But as much as it pains me to be far from my family for several days longer, I will have the opportunity to pay a visit to my parents.

In the meantime, I’ve been able to enjoy the City of Fredericton and get a small taste of back home. For example, I had the pleasure of enjoying an Alpine beer during supper last night. I haven’t been able to find Alpine anywhere in Saskatchewan for the past ten years. It’s a little thing, but it was nice to experience it.

That’s it! Not exactly a long or comprehensive post. What can I say? They can’t all be winners. I managed to get through the day without getting hurt or hurting anyone else. I didn’t have anything weird happen to me and I didn’t glare at anyone on the highway. Granted, the day ain’t over yet! Hey, I’ve even managed to get my blood sugars under control! I guess we’ll see what the rest of the week will bring. ☯