Category: Buddhism & Philosophy

I had something interesting happen to me yesterday that I feel merits recounting. My Wednesday Morning was reasonably typical; I went about the morning getting my son’s lunch ready and working through the struggle that is getting him out of bed and dressed. I got everything lined up and ready, and we were out the door. I dropped Nathan off at his school bus and made my way to a local retailer to purchase some groceries that my wife and I agreed were needed for the days to come.

After completing my shopping and getting back into the car without anyone in public pissing me off (a rarity, these days) I drove home with the intention of unloading my groceries and getting back into pyjamas as I’m still feeling the effects of whatever ungodly illness has taken up residence in my immune system. Even the drive home went off without a hitch, which is also rare since city traffic usually does at least ONE thing to test the limits of my inner serenity. But I digress…

As I came around the curve of the crescent leading to my house, I spotted a lone person at the bus stop down the street. They appeared to be sitting in the snow. Thinking nothing of it, I parked my car, checked the trash bins at the street (it was garbage day yesterday) and turned to see a young woman walking towards me. I recognized her as the person who had been sitting in the snow at the bus stop, based on her clothing. She walked with a bit of a strange gait and walked right up and stopped in front of me. “Can I ask you a question?” Her voice was barely audible and I had to strain to hear what she was saying.

I replied “Sure”, thinking she’ll ask about the bus line or when it passes by. She explains that she’s been sitting in the snow for over fifteen minutes and hasn’t seen a bus yet and needs to get downtown to catch a connecting bus to get her home before work. She asked if there was any way I was willing to give her a ride downtown. I dislike the way this sounds, but her manner of speech and her mannerisms had me thinking she may have something not quite right about her.

Although I’m not in the habit of providing rides to random strangers, it IS winter time, she appeared a little worse for the wear and I had nothing going on that would be interrupted by taking ten minutes to give her a ride. I agreed to provide a ride as soon as I unloaded my groceries. She offered to help, but I draw the limit at letting a stranger carry my groceries and/or walk into my house. I explained to my wife what was happening and what I would be doing and we were on our way.

She introduced herself as Casey and explained that she had stayed at a friend’s house last night and was not from this area. Because of this, she was unfamiliar with the bus schedule and didn’t want to risk being late for work because of it. She was cold and shivering and was grateful for the ride. I brought her down to the main strip where all the primary bus lines travelled, which was where she indicated her destination needed to be. She thanked me and stepped out into the cold to catch her next bus.

Unfortunately, the world we live in has evolved in such a way that most people likely would have declined to help Casey or give her a ride. They likely would have been suspicious of her motives and/or wouldn’t want to burden themselves with someone else’s needs or concerns. They may even have outright ignored her as she approached. But at the end of the day, what did this cost me? Ten minutes of my time? Likely less than a dollar of fuel for my vehicle? What did it do for Casey? It got her to a location she was familiar with, so she could get home? Likely prevented her being late for work? Perhaps even showed her that there are some people who can be trusted?

It’s still okay to help others. Although one needs to protect oneself and their family, there are still instances where it’s not only acceptable to help out someone who asks, it’s the right thing to do. And as a society, doing what’s right should be a primary focus for everybody. I’m quite certain I’ll never see Casey again. But as she goes on with her day, the ride she got likely prevented her from being late and getting into trouble at work, perhaps even getting fired. And she’ll remember for the next while that some people are still willing to help, and it may restore or maintain her faith in humanity. ☯

Time only moves in one direction: forward. Life is very much the same way; you can only move forward. This forward momentum needs to apply to all aspects of your life; family, career, hobbies… Imagine if you work extra hard at woodworking as a hobby. You get quite good and start developing some really nice pieces. Then you become stagnant and put it away, only to come back to it a year later. You may realize that you can no longer create the pieces you could before. You’ve essentially moved backwards. And backwards is bad!

We are the sum of our experiences, but yet so much more. I agree wholeheartedly that in order to prevent repeating past mistakes, it’s of the utmost importance to remember them. But one cannot allow oneself to live in that past. You have to allow yourself to move forward towards a better future. This is the only way to grow and enjoy the life you’re in.

“Now If You Know What You’re Worth, Then Go Out And Get What You’re Worth!”

– Rocky Balboa

Something I’ve always tried to explain to people is that I maintain certain successes by never standing still. Being stagnant or sedentary is not only a bad idea, it basically kills your motivation and your opportunities. You have to keep moving. I’m always moving. I’m always doing something, whether it’s a workout, writing my blog posts, running errands or playing with my son. My inability to sit still sometimes drives my family crazy. Hell, it occasionally drives me crazy! But all my accomplishments in life are a result of never standing still. You NEED to push forward and improve. You can’t allow yourself to live in the past or stand still.

Our past experiences contain a number of things that are important to us and become a part of who we are. Good memories and experiences, bad memories and experiences, traumas, friendships, relationships… they all play a role in how we become the people we are today. But the problem with living within that past is that we come to depend on things that my have been said and done during a time when circumstances and life were different. And those circumstances no longer exist. This is why it becomes important to move forward. It doesn’t mean you need to FORGET those circumstances. You simply need to keep moving despite what may have become of them.

The aspects you’re clinging to may no longer be in the same arena as you are. And that’s not only detrimental to you, it can be harmful on your life and your relationships as well. Learn to let go of the past and move forward. Look towards improving your life as it currently exists, and let the experiences of the past guide you, but never control you. ☯

I was recently asked if women could become Buddhist monks and if so, what were they called. Although it’s a simple question, the answer can become a little convoluted. As with any other religion, Buddhism has many offshoots, sects and backgrounds based on the country you happen to be in.

For the most part, the name for any woman who embraces a monastic lifestyle is referred to as a nun. This may seem like an oversimplification. Although mostly a modern English term, the word monk has been used to refer to both men and women in some monastic circles.

There are different terms in India, Thailand and other parts of the world, depending on what aspect of Buddhism the person in question may be involved with (Tibetan, Theravada or Mahayana). I’m smart enough not to try and spell them correctly, but you can Google “female Buddhist monk” or search Wikipedia for proper terminology.

The long and short of it is that woman CAN and DO in fact become monks, regardless of what term is used to represent them. They abide by a set of rules as stipulated by their faith, shave their heads and wear the vestments required by their monastic lifestyle.

I hope this answers the question, and offers information to any who may have been wondering. Obviously, I don’t think I need to remind everyone that women can do anything men can. In terms of Buddhism, there has always been female involvement ever since its creation. ☯

I’m not a monk. That requires a form of ordination that I’ve never submitted myself to. But I am a practitioner of Buddhism. Despite this fact, I’m not the type of person who flamboyantly brags about all the details of my life. And my faith happens to be one of those things that I keep to myself, unless it comes up organically in a given conversation.

Over the years, I’ve had situations where people have questioned my faith. This is probably the worst aspect of this post, since no person should be permitted to question another person’s faith. But this is exactly what I found myself having to deal with; and it was with someone I was involved with romantically.

Almost a decade ago, long before the arrival of my wife and sons, I was dating a girl from a nearby city. She was a bit to deal with, as most exes are, and the fact she lived four hours away from me made it no less difficult. You know how everyone always says that long-distance relationships don’t work? There just may be something to that…

Anyway, I was visiting this girl on a particular weekend where I had four days off. I took the girl in question for a drive to a neighbouring city, where we enjoyed dinner with her older sister. After some conversation and debating on key societal issues, the moment seemed to arrive organically into the conversation where I said, “Even for me, that’s a bit much. And I’m a Buddhist!” The girl I was dating looked me right in the eyes and spoke the words that echo in my head whenever my thoughts turn to her: “You’re not Buddhist! Stop saying that to people!”

It wasn’t just WHAT I said, but the way in which she said it. The sideways glance and roll of the eyes… It wasn’t just the passing on of the information she believed to be correct; it was the attitude she pushed behind it. I had been involved with her long enough for her to know some of the finer details about me, and that this wasn’t a joke.

“Excuse me?” I replied.

She replied, “You were born Catholic and were baptized. It’s cute that you do karate, but that doesn’t make you Buddhist. You really need to stop saying that to people.”

I was taken aback and confused. Had the woman I called my girlfriend actually just pull THAT card on me? I was at a loss, because walking out would have left her stranded almost an hour from her home. And staying meant that I had to find the self-control to keep that shit locked up until we left and had a chance for me to discuss it with her in private.

Folks, it absolutely IS true that my mother is French Catholic. At the age of less than two years old, my mother had me baptized into the Catholic faith. My mother and I have had a debate for decades over John the Baptist and the issues behind baptizing someone prior to the age of consent, but that doesn’t change the reality. YOU choose your faith. YOU decide what faith you observe.

There’s a part of me that feels that if I had never embarked on my journey in the martial arts, my stepping into Buddhism may not have happened either. But that was a choice that was mine and mine alone, and no one else had any right to infringe on that. You have that same choice, so be sure to exercise it.

Ultimately, you all know that I broke up with the girl in this story, as she happens NOT to be my wife. I’d love to say that her xenophobia against Buddhism didn’t play a role in our breakup, but I’m not a fan of lying. Even if you’re trying to find yourself and learn, it’s important to be true to yourself. No one has a right to question your faith, and only you can know what you truly believe in. ☯

Those who know me well are aware that for the most part, I’ve kept a shaved head. This has had a bit to do with aspects of my beliefs, although one might be surprised to know that I don’t NEED to shave my head, I simply choose to do so as a show of discipline and as a sign of my devotion to said discipline.

If I can be BRUTALLY honest, it also plays a role in the martial arts as having a bald head gives a sparring opponent one less thing to grab onto. This has also been a practical application in my chosen career, as the very real threat of someone pulling on long hair and exposing a throat is a significant concern.

However, what most people don’t know is that you can practice Buddhism and NOT be bald. It’s not actually a requirement. In Buddhism, the shaving of one’s head and face signifies one of the first steps involved in becoming a monk and starting a monastic life.

This has been a common trait in monasticism for a number of different religions throughout the ages, including but not limited to Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism and some sects of Christianity. This was usually done as a means of showing religious devotion or humility, but has also been used as a rite of passage at certain stages in life.

But for Buddhist monks, the shaving of one’s head acts as a symbol of denouncing worldly attachments. It also helps to act as a symbol of monkshood and to emulate the Buddha, who also shaved his head prior to attaining enlightenment.

So yes, Buddhist monks shave their heads and this is an observance they must follow. No, Buddhist practitioners who are not ordained as monks are not required to do so. Some of us simply choose to do so for the reasons I mentioned in the first paragraph. And no, rubbing a Buddhist’s bald head for good luck is absolutely NOT a thing. In fact, it is strongly discouraged. ☯