Category: Buddhism & Philosophy

Screaming At A Brick Wall…

Communication is hard. One wouldn’t think so, given that we live in an age where we have so many different ways to do it. With electronic communications and social media becoming all the rage in the past two decades, one would be inclined to think our ability to communication would have increased and improved. But it continues to amaze me how many if not most people have difficulty communicating effectively. And I’ve observed a number fo reasons for that. Let’s explore this line of thinking a little bit…

I remember an instance years ago when I was texting my wife about supper. She was at work and nearing the end of her day and was no doubt tired and looking forward to coming home. She asked if I had eaten yet, to which I replied “no why did you want to eat with me?” Read that poorly crafted sentence once more time… Do you notice what’s missing? I didn’t, until my wife came home and appeared to be upset with me. What I SHOULD have replied with is, “No, why? Did you want to eat with me?” This would have been a correct sentence structure and would have posed the question as whether my wife wanted to have supper with me. The lack of punctuation in the first one basically makes it look like I’m an asshole questioning WHY she wants to eat with me.

This is a pretty simple example, but a pretty accurate one as it relates to written communication. We live in a society where text messaging and messaging apps have become the primary means of communication. There are plenty of jokes floating around about one’s phone ringing and the the recipient thinking, why aren’t they just texting me? before ignoring the call. I’ll admit that I’ve been guilty of doing that very thing on more than one occasion. Much to the chagrin of the people trying to call. I make exceptions for the folks I know who don’t use text messaging, like my mother. But otherwise, come on! That totally could have been a text!

All jokes aside, grammar and punctuation play an important role in how one’s message is relayed. In a world of emojis and abbreviations over text-written communication, it can be difficult to discern the sender’s intended message. It can be EASY to misinterpret it and assume a different message than what the sender meant. Plus, communicating through a device or by text takes away all those little aspects of communication that humans have spent their entire existence using, such as hand movements, body language and facial expressions. If you’re on a date and the girl says, “You’re an idiot!” but laughs and gently places her hand on your shoulder, you’ll likely be inclined to be relaxed and assume it has an affectionate meaning. If she looks at you with a frown or screams it at you, she may genuinely think you’re an idiot. But I digress…

The point is that body language plays a bit part in how effective one’s communication can be and how the message is interpreted. But even bigger than that, is the fact that communicating effectively requires a minimum of two parties. there’s nothing worse than trying to communicate with someone who’s shut down, distracted or not listening. Sensei always used to tell me that I have two ears and only one mouth, so I should listen twice as much as I talk. I always thought that was so clever of him. It wouldn’t be until years later that I would find out the expression was coined by the greek philosopher Epictetus. But regardless of the source, they’re wise words, nonetheless.

Communication is a core aspect of socialization. In a world where the average person spends their day with their neck craned over a smart device, two-way communication with another person in good conversation is also part of a person’s mental wellbeing. Even people who “prefer to be alone” eventually get lonely. Although some people can sit together in comfortable silence, this usually isn’t achieved with the average pairing of people in everyday situations. Communication must be a two-way street, with both parties actively listening AND hearing and both parties contributing. This can mean the difference between effective communication or being misunderstood, whether type-written or in person. Food for thought… ☯️

Carpe Diem…

Ah, yes. This is Latin for “seize the day,” which was taken from the Roman poetry book “Odes.” This is something we should all do, although most people tend to live far too frequently in the past or future. It’s important in life to stop and take a moment to make the most out of the present. Given the hectic pace of modern life, many if not most, of us fail to recognize that.

I found this image posted on Facebook by one of my friends. A common image, I’ve usually found it containing text where Winnie the Pooh is asking Piglet what day it is and Piglet responds with “It’s Monday…” to which Winnie the Pooh replies “Fuck!” I’ve seen it often and it always brings a smile to my face and it’s a great joke about how most of the working class dislikes the prospect of Mondays because it’s the beginning of the work week.

I don’t know what the original image’s text actually says. I would imagine the image is taken from one of Pooh’s books. But this one certainly points to the importance of taking advantage and enjoying the present moment. be in the now. No matter what’s happened in the past, you can’t change it. You can only deal with the consequences and move forward to ensure the same mistakes aren’t repeated. Don’t dwell on the future. Even if it’s a good idea to plan ahead, the future is dependent on what you do NOW, and dwelling on it will cause to miss the now. Food for thought… ☯️

The Beetles Were Wrong…

Falling in love is one of the great gifts of life. When you finally find that special someone that completes your life, it can be overwhelming and all-encompassing. It can also bring a level of happiness and joy that’s rarely matched by anything else you may experience in life. In fact, the good things in life become better when you have that special someone to share it with. Ultimately, love heals and the world could certainly use a little more love than most of what’s spewed out in society, even at the present moment.

But love is also conditional on one’s ability to understand that unlike the Beetles’ song, you do, in fact, need much more than love. This is one of those times where I should throw up a quick sentence or two explaining that I’m not an expert in relationships and my advice should be taken with grain of salt. Especially since I’ve had enough failed relationships in my younger years to write a digest. But failure in name isn’t always failure in fact. And these failed relationships have taught what’s necessary in order to make a relationship work. But since this post has been flagged as my “opinion,” we should be good to go.

A good, strong relationship takes much more than love. It takes patience, communication, understanding and just enough similarities to mesh well, together while having enough difference to challenge and help each other grow. There are a bunch of other things that are necessary, as well. But what am I, a couple’s therapist? Definitely not. Like many people in modern society, I’ve been married more than once. It’s not something that I talk about much, but that failed marriage taught me the important aspects that I carried over into future relationships and ultimately into the relationship that will last me well into my next life. Let’s examine a few of these aspects in greater detail…

Patience is the biggest one and the first in my list. Without patience, there can be nothing else. The reasoning behind this is quite simple. No matter how much you love someone and how much you may or may not have in common, patience is needed in order to pave the way for the other relationship virtues I named above. If one is not patient with one’s partner, it can leave the relationship open to unnecessary conflict and hostility, which is never healthy for any relationship. I know many sources will say that it’s good to occasionally open the spigot and let the pent-up aggression out and that it can actually help make the relationship stronger. Maybe. But that’s a BIG maybe. I prefer to think that if one communicates properly, one can avoid the trappings of aggression and conflict, which leads me to the next virtuous aspect…

Communication is an integral part of living among a population of people, whether you happen to be involved with them intimately or not. Those who find themselves unable or unwilling to communicate effectively will usually face a host of issues with the other parties involved and this is no different with personal and intimate relationships. You need to be able to talk things out, discuss important topics and be willing to compromise and concede the point. You can love the other person with every fibre in your soul but if you can’t communicate, the relationship will inevitably falter.

And to be clear, good communication doesn’t just mean telling the other party what you want/feel and expecting them to accommodate you. It also involves hearing what the other person is saying and be willing to compromise on key points. For example, what’s their stance on finances? Do they want children? Even political positions can have a bearing and consequences on how well and how long the relationship may last. But if you have open and willing communication between two people and they’re willing to compromise and meet in the middle on key issues, it will make life and love all the easier and smoother.

Lastly, understanding is the result of patience and good communication. Sensei used to tell me that I was born with two ears and only one mouth, which means I should listen twice as much as I talk. granted, I think that saying was coined elsewhere but the lesson is sound. Understanding is part of the foundation of a solid relationship. It isn’t enough to listen and HEAR something from your partner. you need to understand the message they’re trying to impart, bearing in mind that you deserve all these same things, as well.

Loving someone is an important part of a relationship. You should never tether yourself to another person is love isn’t there. But love isn’t enough. You need to be able to communicate with that person effectively. You need to be understanding and not make demands of that person, nor should they be demanding things of you. I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, “Love is patient, love is kind…” But you and your partner are the ones who need to be patient with each other. Don’t be afraid to be brutally honest with each other, talk to each other and compromise on key points. Contrary to what you may have read, don’t be afraid to go to bed angry. If nothing else, you’ll both have the opportunity to cool off and think things through before saying something that you’ll both regret. There’s my two cents on relationships. Food for thought… ☯️

Another One Of Those…

I found this image on one of my friends’ Facebook feeds. He posts a lot of motivational stuff and this one kind of resonated with me. I don’t know where he got it and can’t source it, but if any of you want to reverse Google search, have at it! Sometimes you gotta just enjoy the words and not worry about the source, right? Although we can agree that, “the medium IS the message,” sometimes you gotta just take in the message itself. A little motivation before the weekend kicks in. Enjoy! ☯️

Anything Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Poorly…

“But Shawn, why would someone want to do something poorly?” I’ll get to that, maybe read the post first…. Now that I’m done being a cheeky bastard, let’s get to it. What does my title mean? Well, one should always strive to do things to the best of their abilities. This makes sense and it’s what most people try to do. But since we’re all human and we tend to fail at things, it stands to reason that absolute perfection is beyond any of us.

I recently read a thread written by someone who quoted one of their college professors saying the very thing written in my title. One of my favourite personal sayings is that anything is always something more than nothing. This applies to fitness, health, nutrition and life in general. But this person summed it up in a simple way that I think hits the nail on the head.

“But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting. Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible. Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible. Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don’t have the energy to go anywhere. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. Because doing it poorly is better than not doing it.”

Now, I don’t know who this person is, and of course their thread users a combination of words instead of an actual name and I have no way to reach out to them, but que sera…. the message is sound. Having a shitty day and can’t kick in an hour of cardio? Go for a walk in the fresh air for twenty minutes instead. There’s always an alternative to things and most times, they can provide benefit to you and your well-being even if it’s less than what you usually do.

Anything is always something more than nothing. If you only have five minutes to do something you’d usually contribute an hour to, do it anyway. you’ll be better for it. And you may find that you’ll increase your time-management skills, as well. Food for thought…. ☯️

I Want To Live…

I want to live. Makes sense, right? Most people do. Most people have the opportunity. Not many people fight for that privilege. And I know what you’re thinking…. Why should someone have to fight for the privilege of living? Well, I don’t mean fighting for the privilege of staying alive because of oppression, war or famine. I mean fighting for the privilege to live against something that came to be, completely out of one’s control. If none of you have guessed that I’m talking about Diabetes at this point, let me clarify: I’m talking about Diabetes.

One of the best things about living in modern times, is that Diabetes is no longer an automatic death sentence. If you were diagnosed with Diabetes prior to the creation and distribution of insulin, that was pretty much it. I’ve written posts about how long a Type-1 can survive without insulin, even if they completely eliminate carbohydrates and continue to exercise. So I won’t get into that part, since that’s not what this post is about. Needless to say, insulin isn’t JUST about lowering blood sugar levels.

People have often asked me why I push so hard when I exercise, or why I do so much. I’ve had folks commenting on the fact that by the time I’ve completed a workout, I look like a wet cat who got stuck in the rain. Sometimes, it’s can be belittling or condescending; as though they’re suggesting that I shouldn’t be a sweaty mess in a public place where other folks can see. It’s almost akin to those who make fun of an overweight person in the gym for trying to get in shape. Granted, not EXACTLY the same, but the concept is the similar.

I learned from a very young age that Diabetes would show me no quarter. If I let up my guard, even for a day or two, it would find a way to swoop in and make my life difficult. Maybe this difficulty would come in the form of high or low blood sugars, which typically fuck with my entire day. Or maybe it would simply make me more susceptible to illness and make my day-to-day interactions all the more dangerous. Or perhaps it’ll take something simple like stubbing one’s toe and turn it into an automatic, infected toenail. Just because it can. Diabetes shows no mercy because it has no emotion.

Fitness is an important part of ANYONE’s lifestyle. It’s no secret that someone who doesn’t exercise regularly will face a host of health problems too numerous to list here. But staying fit and active is an important part of life and all the more so for someone with Diabetes. Again, from a young age I recognized this, especially in light of my doctors telling me I’d die due to Diabetes complications before I reached my teens (I’m now well into my forties, in case you were wondering).

I guess where I’m going with this is that there are a number of different reasons to work out and go to the gym. Some people want to get fit, some want to get muscular and some want to lose weight. hell, some people go to the gym simply to be social and see certain key people they may associate with. And that’s fine. At the end of the day, whatever your reasons for training consistently will never be bad. Anything will always be something more than nothing. My point is you’ll be able to easily discern who’s training to get fit and who’s training to save their lives.

That’s what I do. I train in order to save my life. I train because if I don’t, Diabetes complications will reach me all the sooner and take away something that I need in order to live. That’s why I’ll spend an entire hour on a cardio machine at a high level and end up soaked and breathing hard. That’s why I rarely take break days or rest days. Diabetes never takes a rest, so why should I? I push myself because I’m trying to stay ahead of a condition that will ultimately end my life, despite all the therapies, despite all the available resources and despite all my efforts.

And that’s the ultimate punchline of my existence. This is a race against time and a race against a condition that I will inevitably succumb to, despite my best efforts. But like trying to outrun an oncoming tornado, I have to try. I need to give it my all because I refuse to let it take me down. I have too much to live for. I owe it to myself and to those who matter in my life. I’m fighting against complications. I’m fighting against organ failure. I’m fighting against death. Besides, I’m well aware that there are those who push and train harder than me, anyway. But my efforts are mine and mine alone.

So, the next time you see me breathing hard at the gym, it doesn’t mean I’m “out of shape” or new to working out. When you see me walking away from a machine looking drenched like an alley cat left out in the rain, it isn’t because I couldn’t handle the exercise I was doing or I was doing too much. It’s because I’m fighting for my life. And if you don’t come out of that fight bloody and covered in sweat, you’re not really fighting. And you will lose. Ask yourself why YOU do it. No matter what your reason, you should never judge someone’s efforts or appearance when trying to better themselves. Whether it’s someone trying to get slimmer or fitter or someone who is simply trying to prolong his life long enough to see his children into adulthood. Food for thought… ☯️

A Special Belated Birthday

I spend a lot of time online and with my nose buried in books, looking up the various knowledge and materials that I use in my posts. But I often overlook some pretty important and key dates that SHOULD hold a special place in my martial arts journey, One of those dates was yesterday. While doing some research for a post, I brought up Google’s home page and noticed Google’s banner was adorned with some martial arts imagery of a dojo, practitioners in white gis, and an image of Master Jigoro Kano in the centre.

It was a clever rendition and looked nice, but considering Google frequently changes their home page banner, I thought nothing further of it. That’s a shame, because yesterday’s post really should have focused on Master Kano’s 161st birthday, which is why Google had it up. It also dawned on me, a touch too late, that this is usually WHY Google will put something up; to recognize a special day. But I digress…

Master Jigoro Kano

For those of you who don’t operate within martial arts circles, Master Kano was the founder of Judo. Even non-practitioners are usually familiar with that term. His efforts and teachings can be recognized and remembered as being the first Japanese martial arts to use the coloured belt system employed by most Japanese and Okinawan arts, as well as many others. He was a teacher by trade, which I have no doubt would help with teaching the martial arts, and contributed to Judo being taught in public schools.

Master Kano had originally studied Jujutsu while studying in university, long before it would make it’s way across the globe and everyone would only recognize “Brazilian Jujitsiu,” which is a combination of the two aforementioned arts. He eventually began to surpass his teachers and developed his own system, naming it Judo, which means “plainly” and “the way.” Master Kano also established the Kodokan, which is his Judo institute in Japan. I had the honour of visiting this facility in 2001. It was inspiring.

Although I consider myself a karate practitioner, Sensei also holds a black belt in Judo and incorporated a lot of Master kano’s teachings into our system. Through the decades, many of the holds, pressure points and throws taught in Judo were also taught to us. That’s why our school is called the New England Academy of Karate & Judo.

A happy, belated birthday to the late Master Kano. He may no longer be with us, but his legacy has obviously endured long after his passing and will continue on. In fact, judo was the first Japanese martial art to be included in the Olympics. It makes one wonder if he ever thought, all those decades ago, just how far his teachings would reach…☯️

A Little Motivation…

This is one of those instances where I’m keeping the post short in the interest of simply sharing a little motivation. I found this little paragraph online somewhere and as per usual, I can’t seem to recall where I did. I’m sure one could find it, if one chose to Google and search a bit but I’m more interested in the thought behind it than the source. Here it is…

“You Can Rise Up From Anything.
You Can Completely Recreate Yourself.
Nothing Is Permanent.
You’re Not Stuck. You Have Choices.
You Can Think New Thoughts.
You Can Learn Something New.
You Can Create New Habits.
All That Matters Is That You Decide Today
And You Never Look Back.”

I like this. It’s simple and concise, straight to the point. It’s shown as “anonymous,” so I honestly don’t know the source, but I think it speaks to the fact that it’s important to remember that life rarely cares about one’s plan. Despite that fact, one can fight and get through just about anything, so long as you give it the effort it deserves. When faced with suffering and adversity, people often give up, throw in the towel and curl into a little ball and cry. Some may even choose to lose themselves in some rather unfortunate indulgences. But these are usually only a temporary escape and never a solution.

We all have it within us to reinvent ourselves. This is not to say that you shouldn’t stick to your guns if you’re happy with who and where you are. But if you’re NOT happy, then you owe it to yourself and to those you love to fight through and make a change. It may be rough waters to navigate, but once you clear it and see the shore, it’ll be a better life. A happier life. Food for thought… ☯️

Metaphysical Battles

We live in a world of entitlement. As technology grows and continues to make our lives easier, people have become complacent and demand that more things be provided and done for them instead of doing it themselves. And even when these things ARE done for them, they have a tendency to be displeased no matter what the outcome. If “A” is provided, they’ll demand that “B” be provided as well. Once “A” and “B” have been provided, they’ll complain that providing “C” wasn’t thought of and provided automatically.

If nothing was provided, they’d complain that nothing was. This is a pretty rudimentary and unspecific example, but an accurate portrayal of the direction that society as a whole is taking. Another good example is the meme I recently saw online where someone explained that social media is like comparing apples to oranges and there will always be SOMEONE who gets offended by the comparison and then accuse the writer of being ignorant because they never bothered to mention bananas and pears in their comparison. And all the while, all parties concerned seek validation and entitlement, never understanding that anything in life worth having won’t come without personal sacrifice, cost and effort.

Laziness is insidious and can cause significant damage in one’s life. If I look at myself, as a Diabetic, laziness will cause increased health problems and complications and could potentially lead to death. So, what about those who aren’t Diabetic? Laziness can lead to the same result, albeit maybe a touch slower. As I’ve often written before, the basic formula to a happy, healthy life is threefold. Energy creates life. Life requires movement. Movement promotes energy. You need all three of those factors in a continued cycle in order to live well.

If someone decides to eliminate movement and becomes a couch potato, their energy will become stagnant, they’ll become prone to illness, gain weight, and face a number of physical complications including but not limited to, blood pressure issues, circulatory issues and cardiac issues. Not least of which is the psychological impact that laziness has on a person. One’s mood and overall mental well-being depends on staying active, going to work, spending time outdoors and making a conscious effort.

Where am I going with all of this? Well, besides the aspect of staying healthy, both physically and psychologically, one needs to consider that life owes you nothing. You are entitled to NOTHING. Read that last sentence again, because it’s important. Although I have no illusions of being able to change the entire world’s perspective through a blog post, I think it’s important to acknowledge that life doesn’t care about one’s plan and a big part of one’s personal suffering generally comes from one’s own doing. Or undoing.

Let’s say you’ve been out of work for a period of time, a scenario I feel many people can relate to, considering COVID-19 has sent many people home for a variety of reasons (I miss the days where I didn’t have to reference COVID-19, constantly). Now, you’re in need of a new job. Although there can be some appeal to staying at home and letting your head cool and consider your options, life won’t get better and a job won’t magically land in your lap by staying on the couch watching your favourite re-runs of the Price is Right. The only way to accomplish anything is to shake the laziness off and step out into the light and make it happen for yourself.

I’m a little bit jaded and biased because I’m like a pit bull. When I’m faced with difficulty, I fight like a dying warrior and don’t stop until I’ve reached my goal. But imagine how much further humanity would be if everyone fought this way? Instead of having a sense of entitlement and thinking the world owes you something, step up to life, toe-to-toe and fight it out on your own terms. It may not necessarily mean you’ll succeed, but at least you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing your tried your best. Instead of sitting on the couch crying like an infant. Food for thought…

There are always battles to be fought, in life. I’ve always been a proponent that fighting should always be a last resort, but I’ve ALWAYS meant in the context of a physical altercation. The battles we fight in life may be required to make things better. Especially in light of the fact that better things will never happen on their own. You gotta want it. And own it. I recently purchased a wooden-framed quote by Theodore Roosevelt that I find fitting. I’ll share it in the photo below. Good luck! ☯️