It’s important to recognize that motivation doesn’t happen on its own. Like a dynamo, it needs to be worked up to the point where it will make a difference in how you view things. Unfortunately, when one does not HAVE motivational energies within them, making, reaching and achieving goals can be difficult, if not altogether impossible.
What one needs to remember is that motivation won’t necessarily come first. Hell, if it did, I probably wouldn’t bother getting up in the morning. No, in order to build the motivation to accomplish any task or goal, you need to push yourself. You need to exercise your own strength of will and recognize your own self worth and acknowledge that it’s worth it, even if laying back down and closing your eyes feels like such a better option.
But if you can push yourself enough, just enough, to hit the ground running in the morning, you’ll discover that motivation comes on its own. If you’ve never run a mile before, making it across that first finish line may feel like hell and your lungs are on fire and your legs are about to give out. But if you have the fortitude to do it again… and again… and keep pushing yourself, you’ll notice that you’ll get stronger and faster. You’ll shave time off. That mile will feel less exhausting and eventually your body will start telling you that you can go farther and faster. And believe me when I tell you, very little motivates a person like getting stronger and faster, as well as reaching your goals.
Motivation can also come from outside sources. perhaps family or loved ones will have encouraging words or thoughts to push you through the hard parts of life. This can be a God-send but one needs to ensure that one does not become dependent on this type of motivation. It has a tendency of disappearing when one needs it most. Motivation can also be found in the lives of strangers. Perhaps you’ve seen someone go through hell and it pushes you to do better and be better. Maybe a celebrity or an athlete inspires you to go farther. But ultimately, these sources of motivation come and go.
At the end of the day, it will always be up to you to be your own primary source of motivation. you have an untapped well of energy and strength. you simply need to allow yourself to see it. Once you do, you may even surprise yourself at how far you can. And that, in and of itself, is the best kind of motivation there is. Food for thought… ☯️
Well, here we are! It’s 2022, a year that would have sounded like science fiction lore if brought up during my childhood. By the LIGHT, am I ever old… It’s been a hell of a year, with a number fo life-changing things that have taken place. Let’s take a tally, shall we? 2021 saw me retire from the Force and accept a new job that has made life better in scores. My oldest son turned 7, my youngest son turned 2 and my wife and I celebrated 7 years of wonderful marriage. Our basement got renovated, making it liveable once again and doubling our living space. We have effectively cleared most of our disposable debt and have built on the prospect of preparing for retirement, which is not as far as away as one might think.
As with all things in life, for every positive there is a negative. And 2021 certainly had no shortage of those. At some point during the height of the pandemic, my father was rushed to the hospital by ambulance for what appeared to be some sort of respiratory issue. given the lockdowns and restrictions in place at the time, not only was I unable to fly back to New Brunswick to support my family but my mother was even restricted from entering the hospital to see him, in the event that he had contracted COVID-19. Doctors didn’t expect him to survive the night and my mother could do nothing more than say goodbye over the telephone and I was stuck, 3,400 kilometres away. That definitely hammered the pandemic home, for me. Luckily, my father survived and they determined that it was only pneumonia.
I never imagined I would ever think “just a pneumonia,” but here we are. The point is, the last year has seen some good, some bad and some ugly. Such is life. And today is the day when most people are starting to establish resolutions for themselves with the hopes of accomplishing them throughout 2022. That’s great and all, and I admit to being on that bandwagon on more occasions than I can recall. Also as usual, we have the typical denomination of the population who enjoy using the slogan “this year’s gonna be my year.” Entertaining. Slightly naive, albeit it a little positive. But I think that this year, I’m going to try to do things a little different. And I’ll challenge all who are reading this, to do the same.
I won’t be trying to make any New Year’s resolutions, this year. Instead, I’m going to focus my efforts on simply being a better person and improving upon myself a little at a time, day after day. this will mean ensuring a healthier lifestyle, eating and sleeping better and getting back into a fitness routine that actually, well… a routine! I’m going to return to the martial arts, having found a karate school that is closely related to my original style. My goal will be to slim down, regain some lost skill and reflexes and hopefully get my children interested in the martial arts, as well. As I’ve written in some previous posts, my youngest son has shown some affinity to striking and using a punching bag. Maybe I can build on that.
Instead of trying to make 2022 “my year,” I’m going to work towards making every day “my day,” focusing on being present in the here and now. Not only is this far easier than claiming the entire year, it makes it all the easier to recover in the event that something goes wrong or poorly. After all, the loss of a single day is better than the loss of an entire year, wouldn’t you agree? And since we can agree that life doesn’t care about one’s plan and that the positive can’t exist without the negative, it’s far better to be prepared for some of that negative than to expect to expel it from one’s life completely.
I would challenge all of my readers to try and do the same. If there’s one thing that the past two years have taught us, it’s that it may be nice to make a resolution to lose weight, travel more, read X-number of books, learn a new skill or whatever else you may have in mind. But it’s even better (and easier) to make your overall life better in all areas, and work towards improving yourself FOR yourself, in all aspects. You’ll be happier and better for it. Happy New Year. Glad I started it with some food for thought… ☯️
I’ve seen this on the odd occasion, as I navigate the murky waters of what we know as the internet. Despite the fact that I’m not that familiar with Thich Nhat Hanh (I haven’t actually read any of his stuff besides what I’ve found incidentally), I love this quote. I know that there are sources that denounce it and tend to belittle the message he’s trying to relay. But I think there’s some depth to what he’s expressing. For years, I’ve made a point of telling people that studying the Buddha Dharma is a practice. It’s a way of life more than an organized religion. Just wanted to share this as some food for thought… ☯
Sometimes I find it hard to believe that it’s been almost two years since the pandemic started and changed the face of the world forever. in some ways, many ways, the pandemic has allowed people’s true colours to rear their ugly heads. People allowing their sense of entitlement and their perceived rights to interfere with doing “what’s right,” and as a result, this whole thing has lingered for far longer than it should have.
I’m not here to advocate for vaccination. Not am I saying a person shouldn’t. But what i am saying is that it’s 2021 9soon to be 2022) and the population should be far more enlightened by this point than what they are. Society has divided itself in ways that haven’t been seen in recent memory, at least here in Canada. So on the eve of one of the most widely recognized holidays on the Gregoria’s calendar, allow me the indulgence of moment’s reflection and advice.
Be kinder to each and have some understanding. Everyone is scared. Everyone is worried. And everyone is mostly trying to do what they feel is best for themselves and their families. I’ve yet to encounter a person who is intentionally taking a stance on one side or the other for the intentional purpose of sowing dissension. Oh, I’m sure they’re out there. I’m simply saying that it’s wrong to assume that the neighbour who chooses NOT to be vaccinated is intentionally trying to bring harm to others, or the retail store employee requiring you to put on a mask is trying to ruin your day.
Everyone is trying to do their best, even if sometimes misguided or misinformed. And for those still braving the wilds of the outside world, the challenges are greater still. So, on the eve of the second Christmas where the world is at a standstill and many of us are far from our families and loved ones, take this opportunity to reflect and appreciate the most important aspect about this whole debacle: YOU are still here. Life is still taking place and there’s still so much to do, so show some empathy. Show some sympathy. Follow the rules and avoid causing suffering in yourself and others. only with those concepts in mind can the world begin to move forward. Food for thought…☯️
These days, it seems that the difference between being humble and being confident has been muddied to an extreme point. Many if not most seem to believe that being too confident means you can’t be humble and/or vice-versa. I’m not entirely sure that’s true. But in a world of attendance trophies and no-person-left-behind scenarios, it makes sense that people can forget the importance of being humble; albeit while allowing themselves to know their own self-worth.
Depending on what religious text you’re reading, humility (or the act of being humble) is defined as recognizing your place in relation to a grander design or deity. That is to say, acknowledging and knowing that you are bit one spec on a very big marble. Humbling, indeed. Most traditional dictionary definitions are no better, associating being humble with a modest or low estimate of one’s own importance. I rather like to think that humility is the ability to see beyond oneself and recognize that it isn’t all about me. There’s a great, big world out there and although my wants, needs and expectations are important, it would ignorant of me to assume that the world will grind to a halt to accommodate them.
I also recognize that I sometimes need to show respect and deference to those who are in a position of authority, even when they may not be correct; a task that is most difficult and sometimes impossible for most, especially if they’re hidden behind the protective veil of a keyboard. But to be clear, being humble doesn’t mean one needs to grovel before others or lower their eyes in someone else’s presence. The big problem is that the average person never seems to realize that one can be humble but still be confident.
Confidence can be easily described as knowing the worth of one’s own accomplishments and skills. Not to be mistaken with bragging, confidence becomes a negative thing when it dominates a personality, meaning that one will put too much stock in those accomplishments and ultimately face a potential downfall because of it. But confidence on its face is something everyone should have and everyone should acknowledge.
Where humility and confidence meet is in being able to acknowledge one’s accomplishments and trust one’s knowledge and skills WHILE being humble enough to exercise those aspects under the radar. You really can’t have one without the other. To have no confidence but still be humble means that you’ll prostrate yourself to others ad nauseam, which is never a good look for anyone.
To have confidence, or too much thereof, without humility means it may potentially be your downfall. You’ll be one of those jerks who walks around with their chest puffed out, bragging about you or prowess in one thing or another… In my experience and in martial arts circles, it’s usually the ones who brag how well they can fight that are the most easily defeated. This concept applies to life in general. Be confident in yourself and what you can do but be humble enough not to brag about it or assume you’re better than others. After all, no matter how strong, fast or smart you are, there’s always a bigger fish. Food for thought…☯️
Last June, my wife decided to gift me a small succulent plant for our anniversary. I could have sworn I wrote a post about this but now I can’t find it. Either I didn’t, which is possible considering the number of posts I’ve written, or I did and my WordPress is glitching. In any event, my wife gave me this lovely little succulent to place in my office, which is likely the best gift that one could provide for a Buddhist. In essence, she gave me a touch of life to brighten up my work environment.
This is important, because most people associate the workplace with a full day of negativity. It’s great in concept to suggest to people to “do what you love,” but not everyone has that option. Granted, I’m absolutely enamoured with my job and love going into work, but there’s always room for more positivity in life, right? The bottom line is that I spent my first couple of months putting a personal touch on my office space. This can be important as work becomes so much smoother once your work space has a “homey” feeling to it. This shouldn’t be confused preventing the association of work within the actual home.
“Herb” during his first day in my office…
I decided to post the succulent on my personal FaceBook page, which is something I typically don’t do, and received some great name suggestions. I landed on naming the plant, “Herb.” I’ve never had much of a green thumb and I was a bit concerned with taking care of a living thing within my workspace. But a succulent is likely the best type of plant to give someone in this context, as it requires minimal watering and only needs passive sunlight. While I don’t subscribe to the concept of talking to one’s plants, I make a habit of playing some meditative music in the office, which I think likely benefits Herb. I couldn’t necessarily find definitive articles showing the benefits of music to plants, but I’ve heard a lot about it in previous years.
Herb is the first thing I see when I walk into my office. He gets a touch of water, every Monday morning and he gets a couple hours of passive sunlight with the rising sun, every morning. It’s been a nice addition and a positive presence within my office. Certainly not my most comprehensive or informative post I’ve ever written but sometimes it’s nice to share something simple. And this happens to be one of those things.
“Herb’s” selfie, almost nine months later…
It’s subtle, because succulents don’t grow quite as rampantly as many other plants would but you can definitely tell from the two photos I’ve shared that Herb has started to grow outwards beyond the rim of his pot. The slight added weight of his “branches” has caused a bit of a flattened look for his lower stalks, but his centre is still proudly sprouting upwards and these photos certainly help me to see that growth is definitely happening.
Plants are certainly a positive way to brighten one’s environment, whether at home or at the office. The important thing to remember is that a plant is a living thing, no different from a household pet. It requires attention, watering and care. Many people get plants and then let them sit there and all but forget about them. You still need to give them some attention and care, otherwise you’re better off simply NOT getting a plant. For me, given the growth Herb has shown in recent months, I can’t wait to see what progress he’ll show in the year to follow. ☯️
All life is a game of balance. By that statement, it would make sense that the negative needs to exist in order to complement the positive. While most of us live our lives within the confines of this balance, most would agree that it’s more pleasing and typically one’s goal to live within the positive, as negativity tends to bring suffering. And suffering is not good. At all.
So what can one do to simply and effectively eliminate negativity from one’s life? Following the Eightfold Path is certainly a good way to start. Right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right concentration and right mindfulness are good practices to have in order to eliminate the negative aspects of one’s life. But not everyone prescribes to these aspects, and society has a funny way of associating happiness with material belongings and tangible pleasures.
Unfortunately, some people experience the most negativity in their lives from other people. Have you ever had a toxic individual in your life? Someone that always seems to go against the grain and make things difficult? But you continue to keep them in your life because they may be a long-time friend, associate or even a family member. Occasionally, you won’t even have the choice. It can be someone brought into your life by virtue of someone ELSE’s choice, like a sibling or friend marrying someone toxic.
Sometimes it isn’t even so much that the person is TOXIC, per se. Sometimes it’s a simple matter of the person unfortunately living within their own negativity. And when someone is always negative, it just kind of seems to suck the air and energy out of the room. It’s important to note as well, that a person may not inherently be negative but their perspectives and life views may simply not be in line with yours. This can be even worse, since it means that even if they’re not negative themselves, it’s causing negativity within your own life by virtue of those differences.
So, should one cut such people out of their lives? This can be a difficult decision, especially if there’s a personal connection spanning years and possibly decades. I’ve faced that very situation, myself. Having someone who’s always difficult, negative and argumentative can be draining on a person’s soul, and common sense would dictate that knowing such a person for an extended period of time doesn’t make it worth it to have them linger in one’s life if all they do is spread negative energy into your existence.
There’s no easy answer. In fact, there’s no answer I can provide here. Each and every situation is different and subjective but it’s important to remember that one’s overall happiness will come as a result of their own actions; even if those actions mean cutting ties with someone you’ve associated with for years. Careful contemplation and consideration needs to be included but at the end of the day, like all things in life, one must do what’s in the best interest of one’s overall health and wellbeing. Food for thought…☯️
I used to watch a comedy skit show, back in the 90’s and early 2000’s. It wasn’t Saturday Night Live but it was something similar to that. They had this skit they ran called “Lowered Expectations” about a dating sight for folks who had basically given up and would date anybody. I found it funny back then, even during times when I was single, myself. But I can imagine the scene wouldn’t play out too well in today’s demographic, given everyone’s sensitivity to every little thing under the sun. But I digress…
The topic of today’s post isn’t about comedy or that particular show, which I still can’t recall and can’t be bothered to Google. The focus is expectation, as it relates to daily life. Funny things, expectations. Everyone has them, everyone focuses their efforts on them but very rarely do they pan out. And why is that? Perhaps it’s because anything worth having in this life needs to be worked for and CAN’T be expected. But hey, what do I know? I’ve expected things in life, just like everyone else.
When I was younger, I was FULL of expectations. I expected to graduate high school. I expected to complete a college or university education, get married, get a black belt, open a karate school, be debt-free and live out all of my dreams before calmly and peacefully moving on to the next life. Of course, I also expected to see a cure for Type-1 Diabetes in this lifetime. The jury’s out on whether that one will happen or not.
Granted, I accomplished some of the things listed above. None of it was without difficulty and some augury of suffering, but most things in life are difficult. Life isn’t meant to be easy. The big piece is being able to tell the difference between a goal and an expectation. A goal is defined as the object of a person’s ambition or effort, a desired result of something that one strives to achieve. An expectation is the belief that something will happen.
There is a correlation between goals and expectation. After all, if you put your maximum effort behind accomplishing a goal, you can likely expect that you’ll be successful. But what if you aren’t? Should you EVER expect the end results of your goals to be positive? It raises an important philosophical question about one’s ability to think positively and eliminate suffering in one’s life. After all, why WOULDN’T I be succesful if I set goals and work hard at them, right?
The problem is, and I seem to utter this thought in almost every post I write, that life doesn’t care about one’s plans. Life happens REGARDLESS of one’s plans and is often counterintuitive to one’s efforts. this makes expecting a particular outcome to be as efficient as using the concept of winning the lottery as your retirement plan. It’ll work, should you ever win the lottery. But the odds of that happening are ridiculously unlikely.
My point here is that I couldn’t sit back and expect that any of the goals I described in the third paragraph to happen on their own. I had to work at them and fight to accomplish those goals. If I expected to complete a post-secondary education as opposed to putting in the hard work, there would be empty spaces on my walls as opposed to where my certifications are displayed. If I expected to achieve a certain degree of skill in the martial arts without all the blood, sweat and tears I put in, I never would have reached my previous goals and continue to work towards the ones I’ve set for the future.
Don’t sit back. Don’t expect things to happen. You need to step out into the light and MAKE them happen. I see an unfortunately high number of articles I’ve read where the concept of no longer working hard and going through struggle to achieve one’s goals is becoming a thing. What kind of new-age, snowflake crap is that? Life doesn’t happen to those who sit back and wait for it. Although it’s important to find peace within one’s own life, if you sit back and wait for the float with your expectations to arrive, the whole parade will pass you by. Food for thought… ☯️
Ah, multitasking… How often have we heard the term throughout our personal and professional lives? As a child, I used to hear it the most from teachers. “Oh, you need to learnt to multitask in order to get things done…” In college, it was almost an expectation and a mantra that students were expected to multitask. Multitask this, multitask that, get things done… I made my way through life with the concept that one had to always be taking care of many things at once, in order to keep up. Although this belief was created and grown by the adults and influences around me, I have to recognize that I played my part in developing the belief that I could, in fact, multitask. But I was wrong. And so are you, if you believe you’re actually multitasking…
Multitasking is a myth. Our brains are not wired to perform high level functions required to accomplish many simultaneous tasks at once. When someone is “multitasking,” they’re usually dividing their attentions between the tasks that they’re performing, albeit quickly enough that they feel they may be doing them simultaneously. The problem with this, is that we run the risk of leaving one task linger or leaving it behind. As we do this consistently throughout the day, we also run the risk of carrying the weight of all those uncompleted tasks along with us, throughout the day. This can result in feeling additional stress and pressure of all the weight we’re carrying, which could have easily been avoided by completing one task before on to the next.
An article posted by the Cleveland Clinic entitled Why Multitasking Doesn’t Work, explains that “We’re really wired to be monotaskers, meaning that our brains can only focus on one task at a time. When we think we’re multitasking, most often we aren’t really doing two things at once, but instead, we’re doing individual actions in rapid succession, or task-switching.” The article gores on to say that “when our brain is constantly switching gears to bounce back and forth between tasks […] we become less efficient and more likely to make a mistake.”
For example, I seem to be constantly interrupted by my children for various reasons while trying to write this post. As a result, I’ve had to correct and re-write various portions of the post, even some simple sentences. Another good example is while trying to learn in school. Although taking notes during a lecture is something we all grew up doing, this activity can be a hindrance since one’s attention needs to be focused on the lecture and not taking notes. As you jot down notes, you’ll be prone to miss things that are said or ask the lecturer to repeat themselves because your attention was on your notes as opposed to on what was being said.
You’re probably thinking, that’s all bullshit! I multitask ALL the time, I cook while chatting with my family, I watch television while folding laundry… Although it may seem as thought you’re doing these things simultaneously, you’re really not. And it isn’t all that noticeable when it’s simple tasks that you’re accustomed to performing. It becomes more problematic when the task in question becomes more complicated, convoluted or has something at stake, such as work performance. This is why it’s important to be present in the moment and focus on only one thing at a time. Even when you have a list of things to accomplish, completing one task before moving on to thew next ensures completion of given tasks and less opportunity for oversight and mistakes.
This isn’t a new concept, nor am I revealing anything earth-shattering. But even in the present day, when the pressures and requirements of daily life have done nothing but grow and increase, people still believe that they can perform several tasks at once. And to an extent, maybe they can. But the results are much more positive when we take it one thing at a time. Be in the now. Focus on the present. begin and complete one item before moving on to the next, unless prioritization forces you to do otherwise. The result will be better efficiency, less stress, less pressure and the possibility of living in the moment, which is where we all belong. ☯️
As a general rule, I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt and think the best. However, over a decade’s worth of dealing with the light and dark side of society has caused a healthy level of paranoia within me. Even now, when I go to pubic places, I usually try to tactically place myself in such a way as to have a clear view of all exits, be able to survey the whole room and prevent anyone from being able to sneak up behind me. Is it a bit much? Maybe. I just know that’s it’s kept me alive through a rather colourful policing career for quite a number of years.
The problem comes when someone is the polar opposite of what I described in the first paragraph. For the most part, members of the public have their heads down in their devices or are generally oblivious to the world around them as they wander; a habit that can be dangerous and even deadly in the wrong circumstances. As a martial artist, I’ve spent years training myself to be aware of my surroundings and be vigilant. To some, this may mean I’m paranoid. But a little “healthy” paranoia can keep you safe…
Many say that the world has become a dangerous place but I would argue that it has always been dangerous. It’s one’s exposure or lack thereof, that lends to one’s perspective. But make no mistake, danger is consistently around us in some given way, shape or form. There are some statistics (although i couldn’t locate concrete ones) about the fact that every person will cross paths will a killer at some point in their lives. Am I being a little too dark? Is my perspective on the world skewed? Maybe. But maybe not…
Last Thursday, I took the bus to work as my wife needed the family car to run some errands. Nothing out of the ordinary for us and we happen to have a bus stop ten feet from our house that drops me off a five-minute walk from my office building, downtown. Doesn’t get any more perfect than that. I was dressed and ready, had change in my pocket and was out the door with only five minutes to wait until my bus rolled up and I hopped on. Morning was going according to plan. What more could I ask for?
As part of my general sense of wellbeing, I walked to the rear of the bus and took a seat on the far right side of the rear bench. As described above, this allowed me a clear view of all the other passengers of the bus and all the exits. Given that it was about 6:40 in the morning, there were only two other people on the bus, but one of them was sitting on the far left seat of the rear bench as well. Clothed in a dark hoodie with their hood up and head down, I wasn’t able to make out any facial features and couldn’t even tell if it was a guy or a girl.
The bus moved into motion and I did my usual, which was to text my wife and observe my surroundings. Given the events in 2008, where a man was stabbed and beheaded while on a Greyhound bus in Manitoba, I make a point never to be asleep or inattentive on public transit. Again, maybe that’s my paranoia being somewhat on the excessive side. But that morning, it paid off as I dealt with a rather unusual situation.
As I was looking out my window, I turned my head and glanced in the direction of the individual on the bench with me. Although my eyes didn’t linger on the person, I suddenly did a double-take as I noted the person appeared to be staring straight at me! this wasn’t subtle; their head was turned directly to the side and their eyes were locked on mine as we sat there. I held eye contact for several moments, thinking they might say something but nothing came. I finally broke the silence and asked the individual if I could help them with something, to which I received a deep, rasping response of, “No.”
The creepiness factor sent chills down my spine and I’ll admit that I removed my gloves and unzipped my coat as I anticipated this person might attack me in some way. We all have an latent survival instinct that warns us of impending danger; some call it “lizard brain.” This is the sort of feeling that came over me in that moment. The odd thing is, despite the depth of the voice, I still couldn’t tell if it was male or female. I was moments away from needing a clean pair of pants when the individual pulled the “stop requested” cable, stood up and waited at the bus exit until the bus came to a stop. The individual dismounted. All of this, while maintaining eye contact with me.
Was I familiar to this person? Did they think I was someone they knew? Is it someone I possibly arrested during my policing career? A dozen questions ran through my mind as we rolled away. I calmed significantly once we had driven a ways down the road and I knew there was some distance between this person and myself. It was certainly a creepy experience and I have no idea what it was all about, but it stands as a good example of why one should always be aware of their surroundings and not lost in their device or asleep when out and about. You never know what could happen. ☯️
The Blogging Buddhist 