All The Colours Of the Alphabet, Part 1

To say that my childhood had an interesting variety of bullshit would be an understatement. On the one side, I got to spend the majority of my childhood in various hospitals for both myself and my brother. Being there for myself was better. When I was there for my brother, I got to face the potential that we were there because he would die. I learned from a young age to sit still, be quiet and wait for the storm to pass. Having learned to sit still is a bit of an irony…

From a young age I seemed to find myself unable to sit still for extended periods of time, my mind would drift away from the matter at hand and I was always living life with my head in the clouds and preferred not to pay attention to the realities of life. This made sense when you factored in my health complications and my brothers. A world of make-believe was obviously better than dealing with the multiple comas I suffered through due to Diabetes or the constant threat of death my brother faced due to the multiple health conditions he faced.

But soon after my seventh birthday, I attended a doctor’s appointment that changed my life. I thought I was getting a check-up because of my Diabetes, which I had learned to zone out and let the adults talk. Turns out that was part of the problem; this appointment was the day I was diagnosed with ADD. ADD or Attention Deficit Disorder, is usually diagnosed when a child’s school work begins to suffer as a result of lack of attention, impulsive behaviour and hyperactivity. That last one never really applied to me but I found myself frequently unable to sit still for longer than a few seconds at a time (a problem I still face as an adult).

Being the stubborn French-Acadian woman that she is, my mother refused to allow the doctor to prescribe any mood-altering medications often associated with ADD by virtu of the fact she had to watch my older brother shovel a dozen different prescriptions down his throat every day. She felt the risk of how new meds would affect my blood sugars far outweighed the benefit of “calming me down.” I’m grateful to her for that, but it still made for a difficult childhood and even my teens years. It would get WORSE once I hit my teens…

Worse, you say? How could it possibly get worse? Well, my attention issues became compounded by certain compulsive behaviours. On their own, one wouldn’t think much of them. As a combined totality, I was soon diagnosed with OCD, or Obsessive-Compulsive Behaviour. Contrary to what most people believe, OCD doesn’t just involve a compulsive need to clean things. It can involve annoying and intrusive obsessions, repetitive behaviours and strict routines that can cause wicked anxiety if they aren’t adhered to.

One good example is my inability to purchase only ONE of something, when the special indicates that you can get two for the price of something. The urge is stronger than I can overcome. I do have some cleaning and neatness compulsions that piggy-back on my many ticks and compulsions. That doesn’t make it better. I’m jus’ sayin’… Even though OCD isn’t genetically inherent, it’s a good time to point out that my mother has full-blown signs of OCD, cleaning and neatness compulsions. My grandmother was so bad that she’d walk by sliding on two squares of paper towel for a full week after cleaning her floor.

Then I decided I need to do my part for the world and train to protect others. As a result, I spent thirteen years working as a police officer. The population as a whole have a love/hate relationship with the police. Some see them as an important part of keeping our society safe. Others see them as part of the problem. No matter which side of the balance you happen to find yourself, I shouldn’t need to explain that we’re often subjected to situations that can cause severe damage to a person’s psych. that’s where the next acronym comes in: PTSD.

PTSD, or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, is defined differently depending on the source you read. For the most part, it involves having a person exposed to traumatic events, sustained violence or threats of injury or death. Although a bit biased, I would say that policing puts one in this context, easily. I won’t get into some of the situations I’ve lived through during my policing career, as reminding myself of them is problematic. But some of the things I’ve seen and experienced haunt me years later, cause nightmares and trigger me at the worse possible times. Like the way being in a crowded restaurant sets my brain on fire. But I digress…

Over the years, I’ve been “blessed” with having all these acronyms attached to who I am as a person. They’ve provided significant challenge and combining the three has made a fantastic milkshake of difficulty and complications that I struggle with from week to week. It makes it difficult to sleep, difficult to deal with large public masses of people and exceptionally difficult to want to do anything outside the house (with some exceptions).

Before I get too maudlin here and spoil the mood (if I haven’t already), the reason I bring all of these up is that the last ten years or so have seen some fantastic strides in recognizing these conditions as something genuine and not just “all in one’s head.” ADHD, OCD and PTSD have come to be acknowledged as actual conditions and not just something that one needs to treat by self-medicating with drugs and alcohol. Despite these strides, there’s still a lot of stigma and misunderstanding associated with these acronyms. It makes one’s life difficult, in work, leisure and home life. How it’s perceived by public carries a lot of weight to how society chooses to understand these conditions. Food for thought and more to come… ☯

My New Basement…

It’s been a long, winding road for my basement… It started over a year ago, when our foundation shifted and allowed a bunch of ground water to seep into the open area of our living space. It damaged a bunch of personal property and basically rendered the basement unliveable, which really sucked since I had my workout area AND my home office in our basement. This would have come in handy for the months where my current organization allowed for work-from-home conditions. Your can see the original basement and some of the progress in a previous post entitled Home Is Where The Cost Is. But I digress…

This short video shows the finished (basically) product of our basement renovations. Not only do I have a second, functional bathroom once again but the completed renovations will also allow me to once again have a home office from which I can occasionally work. I’m quite impressed with the work that’s been done and I have to give a shoutout to Grasshopper Construction for all their hard work and skill. ☯

My Suit Won’t Stop Me From Changing The Trash…

After about thirteen years of wearing a uniform, it’s been a blessed change to go to work in a suit every day. A number of my colleagues and coworkers don’t adopt this practice, preferring to spend their work days in more casual attire, including khakis and polo shirts. But I don’t know, I kind of love wearing a suit. When one considers the broad selection of shirts and ties one can choose from, it allows for a certain level of creativity in one’s daily look that can’t be achieved when wearing an issued uniform.

That being said, I’ve noticed an interesting trend in the months that I’ve been in public while wearing a suit. Perception is everything to the average person (if there truly is such a thing as “average”), and I’ve noticed that people’s behaviour and reactions are different around me when I’m walking in public in a suit. People will be quicker to move out of my way, hold doors open for me and address me as “sir.” In some respects, it’s rather nice. In others, it speaks to a blind perception that society has about status and misinterpretation.

I can walk through the same environment wearing faded jeans and my favourite karate jacket and the responses I’ll get will be radically different. This blind perception is interesting, since I was raised that holding the door for someone is a sign of respect and politeness as opposed to being done as a result of believing the person you’re doing it for is of a “higher status” than you.

I call it a blind perception because that person wearing a suit may be on their way to a wedding, funeral or a job interview. Maybe they just like wearing suits. It doesn’t speak to status, wealth or social level like it used to in previous generations. you can still refer to someone as “sir” or “ma’am” as a show of respect and politeness without necessarily thinking they’re “entitled” to it.

I’m not sure where I’m going with today’s post. I think it’s mostly just dumping out my thoughts since it’s something I’ve noticed over recent months. Keep in mind that politeness and general respect for others should be the standard, not the exception. And certainly not dependent on what someone may be wearing or one’s biased perspective. Food for thought…☯️

It’s Not All Bad, It’s About Control…

I’ve done a pretty good job at bashing my vices in the past couple of weeks. Self-improvement is never a BAD thing, so long as it doesn’t come at the cost of being who you are. With that in mind, I have recently discontinued the practice of purchasing cigars, I’ve reduced/eliminated my caffeine intake in my usual ways and I’ve cut out alcohol, except for on the rare occasions that one of my friends may invite me out for a beer to socialize (which hasn’t happened in a while).

The caffeine aspect has been the harshest, since I’ve stopped purchasing the energy drinks that have become a staple of my morning routine for the past few years. I’ll still enjoy a coffee once I get to the office, but that lack of the energy drink has left my body bitching up a storm the likes of a crack addict on withdrawals. It sucks. I haven’t really missed the cigars, which makes sense. It’s getting colder outside, and I have no inside venue in which to enjoy one. And it wasn’t the one or two cigars a month that could genuinely be considered a vice.

The alcohol aspect has been the interesting one. I’ve always prided myself on moderation and consuming certain forms of alcohol by virtue of flavour and not to become intoxicated. Since it had been about a month since I had consumed ANY alcohol, I decided to treat myself a few days ago with a bottle of cognac. I had just watched Van Damme’s Double Impact and I was itching to try it out. If you haven’t seen Double Impact, I highly recommend it. Great movie. Van Damme plays twins and one of them lives in Hong Kong, making a living peddling French cognac. I’m suggestible, so of course I had to try it.

The good news is that like most pure spirits, cognac is carb-free, meaning I could enjoy a glass of it without worrying about bolusing. The big problem with consuming alcohol when you have Diabetes, is it may not only be about dosing yourself with insulin. Different sources will provide different effects but the reality is that alcohol can either raise or actually lower your blood sugar, depending on how you react to it.

Because alcohol need to be processed by the liver and keeps it occupied, the liver may find itself unable to release glycol to help keep your blood sugars up. This can result in a significant drop in blood sugars and can catch on you quickly, if you aren’t monitoring yourself. In other cases, you may spike. This will happen when you consume something that isn’t a pure spirit. Beer for example, contains anywhere from 10 to 25 grams of carbohydrates per can or bottle. It can be tedious and difficult to bolus appropriately as you consume, especially if you’re not sure of how many carbs are actually in the beer you’re drinking.

Red wine, on the other hand, will only have between 10 to 15 grams of carbohydrates PER BOTLLE! And no, I’m not suggesting you sit back and suck down an entire bottle, I’m simply illustrating the difference, based on the drink you’re consuming. It can be hard to calculate, but there are a number of fitness apps and websites out there that will actually provide an estimate of how many grams of carbs may be in what you’re consuming.

If you want to be REALLY sure, reach out to your local distributor or the manufacturer of the drink you plan to consume. When I was still observing the tradition of doing Fireball shots on the anniversary of graduating from basic training, I contacted the company that actually makes the drink and found out that it sits at about 11 grams per standard shot. That makes for a lot of bolusing in a two or three hour period. Hey, it’s “flavoured corn whisky.” One has to expect that it would be sweet and sugared to high-hell.

Diabetes Canada has a great PDF document that I’ve used a lot in recent years, and you can find it here. I particularly like the last page, which provides a basic outline of carbohydrate amounts for standard alcoholic drinks. It’s only a basic guideline and you should always try and get confirmation of the specific amount contained in what you’re drinking. It can mean the difference between enjoying a couple of casual drinks with your friends or spending the night trying to lower or raise your blood sugars.

The reason I bring it up and why this is important is because we’re a couple of weeks away from hitting December, when the holidays will be just around the corner and potential celebrations and family get-togethers may happen. And with that comes the consumption of alcohol. Not always, obviously. but if you have Diabetes, it’s an important consideration.

Moderation is key, folks. Most people have been calling me crazy for quitting all these things at once. And maybe I am. granted, I did try that cognac, but it wasn’t great. I won’t be getting it again. But as we move into the holiday season, the Diabetes mantra remains the same: exercise, eat properly and monitor your blood sugars often. And enjoy in moderation. ☯️

Another “How Did I Get Here” Moment…

As with all things in life, our motivation can change to reflect our current situation in life. When someone studies the martial arts for decades, their reason to continue doing it can be significantly different from the reason behind why they started. this can apply to a number of things in one’s life, not least of which is blogging. I bring this up because I realized this morning that yesterday happens to be my 1000th post since starting this blog. I could have posted about it yesterday, but since it was Remembrance Day, I felt the attention should go to that. But once again I find myself asking, how did I get here…

I created this blog for a number of reasons. These reasons included the public’s ignorance of my chosen topics, which are Buddhism, Diabetes and the martial arts, with a healthy sprinkling of health & fitness thrown in. I mean the term “ignorance” by its purest definition, that many people simply don’t know a great deal about these topics and a blog provides me with the opportunity to share the information I’ve accumulated over my relatively short (but still feels long) life. It’s not meant as an offence or to slight anyone.

Over a period of time of almost three years, I’ve made connections and touched base with like-minded people through the blogging world, and I’ve learned a great deal as well. My presence here has enabled me to not only increase and maintain my writing and research skills but has allowed me the opportunity to become a follower to many very talented writers who share information in much the same way that I do. It’s been an added benefit of my continued efforts to post material on a daily basis, despite the increasing daily grind of life.

Hitting 1000 posts

I’ve noticed that one of the beautiful things about blogging, other than having a forum to express oneself and share information, is that there are a number of important milestones that the author can enjoy. These include number of followers, number of posts, length of time writing and more. It makes it easy to always find something to motivate one to write. My blogging journey has inspired me to better things and has even encouraged me to start gathering some thoughts of writing a book. Light help the world if someone actually decides to publish something I write.

Either way, it’s been an amazing journey and it’s far from over. My hope is that someday my children will be able to read these posts and gain some insight into their old man from way back when. Thanks to all those who have been reading and following, including my YouTube channel (also called “The Blogging Buddhist”). Y’all keep reading ‘em. I’ll keep writing ‘em. here’s to the next 1,000 posts. ☯️

Remembrance Day

Remembrance Day always holds a bit of a special place in my heart. It’s a day dedicated to the memory of armed forces members who have died in the line of duty. It’s always been special to me, even during my childhood, by virtue of my grandfather being a veteran of World War II. Given that this is the first year that I am a veteran myself, the day takes a bit of a deeper meaning. I could into detail about the origins of this day, including how it was established by King George V after World War I in 1919. But instead, I really much rather focus on my grandfather…

My grandfather Lionel Poirier, in uniform

My grandfather was old school. He worked all the trades, including carpentry and blacksmithing. He worked for the local paper mill, back home in Dalhousie, New Brunswick. He ironically met my grandmother when he was arranged to marry her sister. Obviously, things didn’t go as planned. They got married shortly before my grandfather shipped out to Europe during World War II. When he returned home, he and my grandmother grew a large family that included seven children, one of which is my mother.

I grew up listening to my grandfather’s stories about the war. He was never shy to provide explicit detail despite my age, claiming that shielding me from the realities of what freedom cost was foolish and that I deserved to know what it took to keep the world free from tyranny. I sat quietly and listened to his stories while he worked the wood he used to build furniture, which he sold. His wooden swings and lawn chairs can still be seen here and there in the North Shore area of New Brunswick. I have no words for the love and admiration I have for that man.

In some ways, a lot of ways, my grandfather was the inspiration for the direction my life has taken. Wanting to help and protect others became an ambition for me, thanks to the stories and the bravery instilled in me by his example. That’s why this day is important. More than just an excuse to wear a poppy or attend a public ceremony, we get to enjoy many of the freedoms we have today, thanks to brave individuals like my grandfather.

Sadly, my grandfather passed away in 2013. But his example and influence lives on in me, as I’m sure it does with the others in our family. To my Canadian readers, takes time to observe this day. Stay away from Christmas decorations and other social focus and remember those who left their families and loved ones behind to go keep the world safe. War is never a good thing. But if and when it happens, we can all sleep a little easier knowing that men like my grandfather fought to end it. ☯️

My Gym Space

About a week ago, I wrote a post about how one does not need large amounts of equipment or machines in order to get a complete workout. The post was entitled “How Much Do You Need,” and you can read it here. I thought as a follow-up, I’d stick my face on front of a camera and show everyone where I spend my fitness time. A little over a year ago, I used to enjoy a large, open space downstairs that I used as a makeshift karate dojo. I lost that space as we are currently renovating our basement. When I moved out to the garage, I also lost that space as we had to store our basement stuff somewhere.

I still have my punching bag in the garage with a small space to actually use it but I have no weights or access to cardio as it’s getting too cold for cycling. As a result, I’ve taken to working out in the gym space located in my office tower. As you’ll see in the video, there are limited weight machines, some cardio machines and a full spread of free weights. ☯

Take A Break And Relax With This Post

Given the hectic demands of modern family life, it can be pretty easy to forget that it’s important to take time for yourself. In most cases, we get so tangled up in the requirements of our daily grind that we tend to overlook our own self-care and care of our home. I can relate to how easy that can be. For example, one of the few “benefits,” if they can really be called that, of the pandemic quarantine when everyone was pretty much sequestered to their home, is that I had far more time to do some reading, writing, playing the daily challenges on some games and playing with my kids. With some aspects of society slowly returning to normal, that extra time has disappeared and my ability to self-care seems to have disappeared with it.

Taking breaks and finding the time to relax is important. Because as they say, you can’t help or take care of others until you’ve taken care of yourself. Don’t ask me who “they” are, I have no clue. But this is a very true fact and it applies to work, leisure and family life. If one doesn’t take the time to let one’s head cool, it gets difficult if not altogether impossible to properly manage one’s daily grind and responsibilities.

Work is a great example. Any productive job will be a roller coaster of busy-ness. one week may be pretty tame and you have plenty of time to catch up on things and the next week will feel like the job is literally trying to drive you to drink from all the added pressure. And that’s why, even when it’s busy, you can and SHOULD take time for coffee breaks and step away from the computer. Whether you actually get coffee or not is irrelevant. The act of walking away from your computer or work for even fifteen minutes gives you the opportunity to recharge, get some fresh air and will actually increase one’s productivity.

Some there are and those are they, who are often inclined to believe that taking a break when they’re busy will cause the work to grind to a halt or make things worse. But let’s be realistic, here…. The work will still be there whether you take the break or not. Fifteen minutes won’t make a measurable amount of difference in the workload BUT it may make a measurable difference in your productivity. And that’s where the important difference lies.

The same applies to your home life. Maybe you have work to do at home. Maybe you have a spouse who needs your attention. Maybe you’re a parent and have to help your kids with homework and play with them. It can seem pretty daunting, especially if you work long hours, do shift work or usually end up needing to bring some work home with you. By the time the family meal is done and everything is cleaned up and you’ve squared away the kids, you’re likely too tired to commit yourself to work.

It can be all the more difficult if your life includes anything extra. Let’s use an example like, oh, I don’t know…karate! Although an experienced practitioner can train at home, it stands to reason that most students need to attend class. Finding time to do so with everything I’ve described can be a bit difficult, especially if you know that stuff is piling up and waiting for you. Not to mention that despite the fact that those activities are important to you, your family may not understand and often resent your absence.

That’s why communication is important and integral, in both personal and work circumstances. Most of the time, unless you’re being radically unreasonable, communicating and explaining your needs will go a long way towards helping others understand what you need to take better care of yourself. Once that communication has been achieved, you can work on some self-care, which in turn will help you to better help others.

Although I totally understand that it’s often easier said than done, take your breaks. Indulge in some self care. No matter the time constraints, the workload or the home responsibilities, you owe it not only to yourself but to everyone in your entourage to ensure that you’re refreshed, relaxed and can give them your best you. Working or stressing yourself into an early grave is pointless. After all, you only live once. That we know of…😉 Food for thought…☯️

Jus’ Sayin’…

I found this little gem some time ago while wandering the World Wide Web. As it pertains to martial arts training, it suggests a pretty important lesson. That being that the more you push yourself and sweat in training, you’re less likely to get the shit beat out of you in an actual fight. How nice of me to make the lesson so much less elegant, eh?

But I think this could definitely apply to just about any situation in one’s life. Work, personal relationships, exercise… everything! The point being, that if you put in your best effort in the here and now, you’ll likely save yourself some negatives results and/or outcomes further down the road. A quick and easy lesson for today. Food for thought…☯️

I Think I Need More Coffee To Write This Post…

Ah, coffee…. I try to imagine how different my life would be without caffeine. I don’t think I like it. But in all seriousness, caffeine plays an important role in many people’s daily routine. I remember consuming coffee for the first time when I went to college. To be honest, I remember thinking that it didn’t seem to be doing much to lift the tired fog from my mind. But then again, I also had blood sugars to contend with AND the college’s cafeteria coffee was mostly brown and water. So, there’s that…

More than half a decade would pass and energy drinks had become a new trend, although I had never tried them. Then one day, a Red Bull representative came knocking (not literally) while I was managing a big box pharmacy. The company had agreed to provide some shelf facings for the product to be displayed and the rep wanted to offer me a sample so that I would be able to speak to the product’s quality, flavour and effectiveness. When I mentioned I had Type-1 Diabetes, he surprised me by offering me a can of sugar-free Red Bull. It was all down hill from there…

Over the years, caffeine has played an integral role in my effectiveness in karate, work and even my personal life. I’ll admit there are a few times I may not have made it home if I hadn’t downed a cup of coffee before getting behind the wheel. For the past 20 years or so, I’ve had a roller coaster relationship with caffeine, often trying to quit at the most inopportune times (like taking a course or travelling for long distances). So, what is the good, the bad and the ugly of coffee?

According to an article by Healthline.com, caffeine actually works due to its effect on the brain. It “functions by blocking the effects of adenosine, which is a neurotransmitter that relaxes the brain and makes you feel tired.” Well… f$%k me…. Here, I thought it just jacked up one’s heart rate, causing increased blood flow, which makes you more alert. See, even an old dog like me can learn new tricks. Moving on…

Caffeine can kick in quickly with the average cup of coffee often taking only about 20 minutes to kick in. Another article by Healthline.com lists a number of benefits related to caffeine consumption, including but not limited to improved energy and reaction times, weight loss, improved physical performance, protections from certain health conditions (including Type-2 Diabetes) and coffee just happens to be very high in antioxidants, making it the ideal beverage to consume on a daily basis.

You’re probably thinking, “Alright, Shawn…. What’s the other side of the coin? You never list all the benefits of something without listing what’s bad…”. Well first of all, thank you for paying attention. I love that shit. Secondly, according to the Mayo Clinic, “Up to 400 milligrams (mg) of caffeine a day appears to be safe for most healthy adults. That’s roughly the amount of caffeine in four cups of brewed coffee, 10 cans of cola or two “energy shot” drinks.” Bear in mind that exact amounts vary from drink to drink and the key words are “most” and “healthy.” But we’ll get to that…

Drinking more than what’s basically indicated in the article can lead to side effects including but not limited to:

– Headaches;
– Insomnia;
– Nervousness;
– Irritability;
– Frequent urination;
– Fast heartbeat; and
– Muscle tremors.

I don’t know about you, but none of those sound like a spa treatment. Not least of which is the fact that caffeine can be addicting. You start by consuming a cup in the morning before work and months later, you’re downing a full POT while getting ready for work, then grab an extra large through the drive-thru on your way to work, followed by more coffee during coffee break. And that’s all before 10 am…. I may or may not be speaking from experience.

For the most part, energy drinks have become my go-to caffeinated drink and have been for the past few years. This is for a number of reasons, including the fact that it’s cold and I can get it down my gullet way faster than a hot coffee. there’s also a slightly higher caffeine content than your average cup of coffee, which can help when you’ve spent had the night up due to your insulin pump or fluctuating blood sugars keeping you up. There’s also the fact that energy drinks usually carry a whole bunch of extra stuff on board, like increased B vitamins and minerals.

The down side is that depending on the energy drink, you can find yourself consuming ingredients that could affect blood sugar levels. Further, besides making your urine a weird fluorescent colour, you start getting addicted and needing the additional stuff you get out of energy drinks. So, it’s important to mindful. Why is this important? Well, I usually only allow myself the luxury of energy drinks because I get them on special at my local corner store for cheaper than a cup of coffee. Otherwise, cheap, stubborn Shawn won’t buy them. Last Thursday, I went into the store and noticed they weren’t on special so I didn’t buy any. It’s been a few days. I fear for society’s well-being…

Ultimately, there’s nothing wrong with caffeine consumption, provided you don’t take in more than what’s recommended and safe for you and that the side effects don’t outweigh the benefits. If you find yourself experiencing some of the side effects listed above, it may be a sign that you need to cut back. We’ll see how long I hold out without my daily energy drink. Just one more vice to work on…☯️