Category: Opinion

What Is A Dojo?

I get this question once in a while and with mainstream shows like Cobrai Kai being all the rage, it rather surprises me that I still do. But those of you who know me are fully aware that I can talk an elephant’s ear off, so here I am, ready to explain once again. In short and from a high level, the term “dojo” is actually the joining of two Japanese characters that are combined to mean “Place of the Way.” A dojo is generally a special place that is set aside and laid out specifically as a gathering place for students of the martial arts, like Karate and Judo. The term has been used in other forums as well. Interestingly enough, Zen Buddhists refer to their meditation chambers as dojos, as well.

Unlike other training locations, a dojo is intended to maintain a certain level of decorum and ceremony and is intended to be treated with respect. A clean, proper uniform is required when training in one, and bowing respectfully when entering or leaving is also expected. Unlike training locations like your local gym and only under special circumstances, the dojo is intended for structured training, with a Sensei or senior student leading the other students through drills, lessons and teachings, which can include forms, sparring and even meditation, in some styles.

The important aspects to look for when visiting a dojo include the cleanliness. As I mentioned earlier, a dojo must be treated with respect and filth does not align with that. Unlike what you may have seen on television and in movies, a dojo doesn’t need to look like a bad Japanese tourist trap, with the polished wood everywhere and fancy decorations. Literally four walls, a floor and a roof are all that are required. Any additional equipment or accoutrements should be limited to what’s required for training and not include a bunch of decorations or trappings intended to make an onlooker believe the dojo is fancier than it is. Because a dojo isn’t MEANT to be fancy.

I’ve trained with students who have had a small, square ten foot by ten foot space set aside on their home. That’s their dojo. And it’s adequate for training and all they need. Although it can be enticing to see all the gilded decorations and weaponry on the walls of some dojo, it’s important to bear in mind that such things don’t speak to the quality of the art or its teachings but to the quality of their decorator. And that won’t provide much in terms of learning the martial arts. If a student chooses what style to study based on how fancy the dojo looks, they may be in for a rough ride. ☯️

Tired, Or Burnt Out?

It’s not unusual for someone to get tired and feel exhausted after a long day of being at the office, dealing with one’s children or managing a household. Add cold weather that forces the body to work harder internally in order to stay warm and you’re looking at a perfect recipe for developing a strong case of “I don’t give a fuck-ness…” But one problem, and it’s a big one, is that people tend to use the term “burnout” interchangeably with being tired. And the two are typically quite different. Let’s dive in…

Being tired and experiencing burnout are similar in that they can both cause feelings of mental and physical exhaustion. But the big difference comes from the fact that if you’re tired, sleep, different forms of rest or meditation as well as distractions or diversions will help relieve your tiredness and it will usually pass. If you’re experiencing burnout, your fatigue likely won’t go away regardless of how many hours’ sleep you get. And that’s where the problem comes in.

Burnout usually happened because you’ve been dealing with high levels of stress, emotional difficulties or trauma for prolonged periods of time. Although most people would associate this with the workplace, it can occur in ways that don’t directly relate to work. Some signs of potential burnout can include anything from heavy drinking and moodiness, all the way up to lack of motivation, inability to make important decisions all the way up to suicidal thoughts. Just a touch more significant than just being tired, wouldn’t you agree?

According to an article posted on WebMD, burnout doesn’t happen immediately. It’s a gradual process that builds with stressors from your job. Signs and symptoms can be subtle at first. The article echoes a lot of what I wrote above so y’all can go have a read for yourselves but it does include that some important ways to dealing with burnout include getting an appropriate amount of sleep, engaging in relaxing activities and exercising. In fact, getting even just 30 minutes of exercise a day can help relieve stress and help you to sleep better, which helps the overall burnout.

It’s also important to talk about it. If you’re feeling overwhelmed as a result of your work, talking with trusted coworkers, friends and family can be important. Even discussing your workload with your boss can be important, although most people have a fear of doing so because they feel it will make them appear unwilling to work. Speaking strictly for myself, I prefer to have staff who are willing to discuss their workload in an effort to do a good job than someone who just keeps their mouth shut and ends up quitting once they’re burnt out. But self-care is ultimately important. If you feel your fatigue is more than that, you also have the option of discussing it with your medical practitioner. They may have the means of assessing what is actually causing you or tiredness, burnout or not. ☯️

It’s Not Them, It’s You…

It continues to boggle my mind how so many people seem to be of the opinion that they always entitled to certain things. None will argue that we live in the age of the snowflake, with people demanding apologies, special accommodations and everything under the stars, simply because they feel that they’re entitled to it. Nothing could be farther from the truth but the unfortunate reality is that those who understand what hill they choose to die on usually end up rolling over for these individuals.

This is an unfortunate phenomenon that has been going on for years and likely decades. But I’ve never been more aware of it then now. I’ve often see people make poor decisions, purchase things and try to return them without a receipt, demand things of other individuals and even involve themselves in other peoples’ matters that have nothing to do with them. Just Google “entitled” or “Karen” and you can see plenty of examples of this phenomenon. I’m certainly part of the denomination who genuinely feels sorry for all the kindhearted and pleasant people named Karen. I’m not even sure how this name came to be associated with entitlement… Maybe that would do for another post. Moving on…

The concept that the world owes you any damn thing is an inaccurate one and one that will almost always end up making things worse for you. Although the Buddhist side of me believes it’s important not to cause further suffering and that apologizing and making amends are important tools in order to achieve that aspect, one needs to recognize that we are ultimately entitled to nothing and demanding things or wanting apologies and recompense based on principle will not only get you nowhere, it’ll actually lead to further suffering.

I don’t think I have much of a point to make here and maybe I’m just venting. Most of this is simply observation and I recognize that when’s one thing comes up, I have more of a tendency to simply let it go. Not because I’m lazy or don’t feel that I’m entitled to be treated properly but because one needs to choose what hill to die on. Some things just aren’t worth the overall effort. There are more important things in life than trying to prove you’re entitled. Food for thought… ☯️

A Little Break In The Routine…

Last Thursday was a bit of a gong show for me but offered an interesting take on the day. First, my agency had it’s staff Christmas party. Now, I’m sure we’ve all watched sitcoms or comedy movies where they have the sad little get-together in the conference room with dollar-store chips and cardboard hats, taking an hour to “celebrate” before trudging back to their work terminals to finish out the day. This is often reminiscent of the US version of “The Office,” where the manager would frequently throw parties on a whim.

Luckily, my agency chose to go a bit higher class than that. We actually booked a section of a local pool hall, catered in some food and provided the opportunity for staff to obtain extras at their own cost, should they choose. The only caveat is it happened during the afternoon when many staff felt their time would be better served getting work done as opposed to hobnobbing over a pool cue. Although I can somewhat agree with this sentiment, I also feel that one needs to appreciate the opportunity to let one‘‘S hair down for a few hours and chat with co-workers, especially about matters that aren’t work-related.

It was a good time, with good food and good people. The tables shared a lot of laughs and I had the opportunity to shoot a few games of pool with some of my staff, which was a nice change. It also ran for four hours and my team and I basically shut the event down. It was a nice change from the weekly routine, despite the fact that the work continued to accumulate in my absence. Such is life. Whether I would have gone or not, the work would have continued to accumulate, so it makes very little difference in that regard. If the work will always gather, it makes taking these little breaks all the more important.

While navigating the hectic highways of the everyday rat race, we often forget that each of us is an individual person with beliefs, interests and personalities that rarely get explored in the workplace. Staff functions can be a wonderful way to allow people to get to know each other and spend a bit of time on a social level and get to know each other. This can often allow for better and more amicable work relationships on the job. Food for thought…☯️

The Orville: A Review (Mild Spoilers)

Unlike most of my counterparts, I never watch a great deal of The Simpsons when I was a kid. Besides the fact that my parents likely would have branded it as inappropriate for me, we also only had one television in the house, which was monopolized by my mother and father with the exception of a few hours on Saturday mornings for cartoons. But I as I got older and managed to acquire my own screen, I began watching the show and became enamoured with the concept of a more adult-themed animated show.

There’s just something hilarious about a cartoon that contains adult themes, swearing and comedy. This led to my interest in shows like Family Guy and American Dad. Without a doubt, these are two of my favourite shows and a big part of the reason behind this is the shows’ creator, Seth McFarlane. The man is not only a comedic genius but appears to have the ability to provide the majority of the voices for multiple characters in both shows. one of my associates named McFarlane as this generation’s Mel Blanc. For those who don’t know the name, Mel Blanc was an American voice actor who did all the voices for Looney Tunes.

That’s why when i recently became aware of a show created by Seth McFarlane called “The Orville,” I had to check it out. In summary, McFarlane plays an officer who catches his wife in bed with another man and goes through a divorce. His life takes a downward spiral for a couple of years until he manages to acquire command of his own ship. Then, because it’s a comedy and why not, McFarlane’s character discovers that his first officer is none other than the very ex-wife that caused his career to take a bad turn.

The show plays on sci-fi series such as Star Trek, using “Planetary Union” instead of “United Federation” but still has a varied crew of different species, all with their own comedic contributions and eccentricities. It’s a refreshing take on something that combines science fiction and comedy. It’s fun to see a starship crew using common, everyday language and act exactly as someone would today, all while being set sometime in the far future.

When watching the Orville, one can expect the same level of comedy and entertainment that people have come to expect from Seth McFarlane. The show currently has 3 seasons and has recently been added to Disney+, which is what has allowed me to enjoy it. There’s no word yet on whether there will be a season 4 but for anyone looking for an easy watch with a touch of comedy, the Orville is sure to deliver. ☯️

You Don’t NEED That…

The accumulation of material things sucks! I know that many if not most won’t agree with that opinion, but there it is. Maybe that’s why the monastic life has always appealed to me. Having nothing carries a sort of peace that most people don’t seem to recognize. There’s a sort of prevailing societal beliefs that life has to involve the accumulation of personal wealth and the accumulation of crap within one’s environment. This is a perspective that developed over a longer period than I care to think about.

The reality is that people have forgotten that money is not the goal in life. We get jobs and earn money so that we can get by in life, obtain lodging, clothe and feed ourselves and maintain the basic amenities we need to stay alive. If you’re working with the goal of becoming rich, you should be looking inward and asking what that wealth is expected to provide. People often say that money can’t buy happiness and I’ve often said that I’d prefer to find out for myself. But the monument I make the earning and accumulation of money my goal in life, I’m confident in the thought that the aforementioned happiness won’t come.

That being said, money isn’t the only issue but what people do with it. Having the biggest house or the newest car, owning a cabin at the lake or having a huge flat screen television… People associate property with success instead of considering success to be a sign of success. In its own little way, it’s kind of sad. As long as I have my clothes. My books and some ability to write and workout, I’m happier than a proverbial swine in its own expelled fecal matter.

There’s also a significant weight that one carries when possessing all of these things. When you consider aspects such as how much harder it is to gather and move all of those belongings if you change residence, or the significantly increased loss one suffers if those belongings go up in flames or get stolen, owning less stuff or being something of a minimalist doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. Plus, one must consider that any added monies you may gain by not purchasing all the crap can be used to have experiences, instead.

Lastly, I’ve observed that people will try to conform with this societal expectation of ownership and wealth by living beyond their means. This means using credit or leaning on future monies they don’t have in order to get that bigger house or buy the big camper trailer. Although credit and the ability to use it is an important part of Canada’s economy, the accumulation of debt can happen quickly and without warning, with most people unfortunately unaware that those monthly payments they’re positive they can make can trip up one’s finances faster than one thinks. This can lead to a poorer quality of life and loss of home and livelihood. Certainly not worth owning that motorcycle, even if you’ve dreamed of it for years.

The lesson here is to live within your means. If you want your means to increase, that can be something to work on. But living beyond one’s means will not only prevent the betterment and advancement of one’s life but will also hinder it in ways that can be difficult to get out from. Having less stuff won’t make you unhappy. If nothing else, it will offer up a freedom that you may not have allowed yourself to consider. Food for thought… ☯️

Who Says You Can’t Go Home…

Once in a while I get wistful for the beauty and landscape of the Northern shores of New Brunswick. I’ve always fancied it as something of a shame that one never truly comes to appreciate the beauty and splendid of one’s own home until they’ve been gone from there for a period of time. For myself, I left New Brunswick in my late 20’s with my intent being to build a future elsewhere. When I consider New Brunswick, I recognize that there is very little prosperous economy there and the medical system is quickly becoming one of the worst in the country.

But that doesn’t take away from the fact that, every time I go home, I’m taken by the open water, rolling Appalachian mountains and temperate climate. It’s something I don’t seem to remember noticing when I lived there. And that’s where the shame comes in. I’ve had plenty of opportunity to recognize that I should repeat the mistakes of others. After all, four out of seven of my mother’s siblings have spent their lives away from the Maritimes, only to return upon retirement because they could no longer stand to be away. I should have spotted and learned from that. But I didn’t.

Every time I travel back home, it takes my breath away. This always seems to be counter balanced with the fact that I’ve been spoiled by living in larger centres. Living in an area where I have almost immediate access to anything that I immediately require or want, at the drop of a hat. When I travelled to New Brunswick with my family last September, I quickly discovered this wasn’t the case there. In fact, we had evenings where we had difficulty arranging for dinner for all of us. It cast a bit of a shadow on an otherwise pleasant trip. That and, you know, NO one acknowledging we came home and no one coming out to visit. But that’s a different story.

My point is, when i lived there, I never noticed such shortcomings. I was happy with where I lived and where I was. Since life only moves forward, it makes sense that I would have sought out a career and life path that would give me the best possible opportunities. But doing so has skewed my perspective on what’s important in making a home. And that’s something I need to recognize and adjust within myself. It may be an important lesson to consider that it’s important to appreciate what we have and where we are in life. Doing so may lead to better happiness. Food for thought… ☯️

The Little Engine That Couldn’t Get It Up…

Let’s talk about sex. If that opening sentence doesn’t get your attention, I’m not sure what would but sex is an integral part of life and the survival of our species as a whole. Without sex, there would be no procreation and therefore no propagation of our species. Setting side the possibility of fertilization through scientific means and/or the fact that some people honestly SHOULDN’T procreate, sex isn’t ALL there is in life but it is an important part of it, and most would agree that Diabetes can throw something of a monkey wrench into one’s plan to make the beast with two backs…

Like all things in the life of someone with Type-1 Diabetes, sex can be a difficult topic because it’s more difficult for us. Depending on blood sugar levels, comfort, etc, it can be difficult getting to go time and even more difficult and awkward trying to explain that to a potential partner. That’s why I thought I would share some advice on what’s worked for me and what I’ve experienced through the years. Although it applies to both genders, I’ll obviously be focusing on the male half of the equation since, well… I’m a dude.

1. Be open and communicative: Let’s be honest; most people dive right into sex without really talking about it. We see all kinds of articles and experts talk about how sexual partners should communicate but it very rarely happens. It DOES happen, just maybe not as often as it potentially should. But in this scenario, it’s important to be honest about one’s Diabetes and explain how it may affect the overall possibility of having sex when one wants to. There’s nothing more awkward than having to explain, “It’s not you, baby! My blood sugar is just low!” Better to communicate that Froom the beginning to avoid that awkwardness, which brings me to the next point…

2. Monitor your blood glucose and balance accordingly: This one can be a little tough, especially if you’re out on a nice date, eating out at a restaurant where carb-counting may be harder than with controlled portions at home. Making sure you test and monitor your blood sugars and eat in reasonable amounts if you suspect the evening may lead to adult-happy-playtime is important. If you eat at a buffet and gorge yourself, you may find yourself unable to perform whether your blood sugars are balance or not but bear in mind that in most cases, high blood sugar will leave your little soldier just as helpless as low blood sugar.

3. Do what works for you: This can be a tough one because it somewhat contradicts point #1. It’s important to do what works for you, especially when Diabetes comes into play. For example, it may be easier for you to “rise to the occasion” if you’re on the bottom and don’t have to contribute large amounts of blood flow to your legs to keep from crushing your partner. Ultimately, an erection involve blood flow to the penis, and blood flow is already something that most Type-1 Diabetics have difficulty with. Of course, that’s why point #1 is so important but it can be tough trying to explain to your partner that you’re not trying to be selfish and only do what YOU like, it may simply be that performing is all that much harder (pun not intended) in certain ways.

4. Be impulsive/Don’t pre-plan: Yet another contradiction but oh, so important. Most of us can likely remember spur-of-the-moment sexual encounters where although you were romantically involved with someone, you didn’t necessarily expect to have sex and then BAM! Y’all hit funky town! It can be hard to find a balance between ensuring you’ve prepared from a blood sugar and dietary standpoint but still manage to keep things fresh and impulsive. Eventually, certain aspects of life get in the way. Having children in the home and trying to deal with Diabetes may cause significant periods of time to elapse between sexual encounters. And as much as that sucks, there’s also nothing wrong with that. Many couple try to pre-plan their sexual encounters or have specific “date nights,” but this will often lead to undue expectations and pressure, which can make it difficult to perform.

5. Don’t be so hard on yourself (pun intended): There’s this unwritten expectation that having sex is supposed to be some earth-shattering experience that will utterly and completely rock your world. That expectation can lead to significant disappointment, much like daydreaming about that cupcake all day at work, only to finally eat it and having it be no better than a market muffin with canned frosting. Allow yourself to take it easy and be easy. If sex is initiated and you can’t rise to the occasion or blood sugars interfere or if you’re like me, it’s just too fuckin’ hot in the bedroom, it’s not the end of the world. It’s okay for it to not be your night. It’s not a slight against you or your partner and it’s important you both know that.

At the end of the day, sex is an important song and dance that incorporates a fine balance of planning ahead and just letting things happen naturally. It’s important to have a partner who is willing to communicate and understand, especially if there are limitations that may prevent things d from happening. Anyone who isn’t willing to meet you in the middle regarding those limits may not be the person you want in your life and certainly not the one you should want to share yourself intimately with. Demanding is a big no-no, whether you’re on the receiving or the giving end. The whole point behind sex (besides procreation) is intimacy and one can’t achieve that by making demands.

Take all of this with grain of salt. I’m not a doctor or health practitioner, I’m not a sexual therapist or educator. But I have had type-1 Diabetes for over four decades and have encountered everything I’ve written above in some way, shape or form. Those aspects becomes even more prominent as we get older. That’s why it’s so important to take good care of oneself in order to continue enjoying all the more pleasant aspects of life. Food for thought… ☯️

Just Because You’re Not On The Path Alone, Doesn’t Mean You Surrender The Wheel…

I’ve always found it interesting how it’s often the ones who have no stake, experience or actual knowledge of something that will be the first to comment or question choices that one makes. This is especially true if you have Type-1 Diabetes. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had someone comment on something related to my condition or its treatment without also having it, being a doctor or having some firsthand knowledge of what they’re talking about.

I’ve never had a problem with people who ask questions because they’re genuinely curious or they want to know more about Diabetes. There’s nothing wrong with that and in some instances, it’s an important aspect to my overall health and safety. For example, one of the first things I’ve always done when starting a new job is to let everyone know that I have Type-1 Diabetes and what to do if they find me in a compromising situation because of it. I find this takes the awkwardness out and gives them important information that could potentially save my life.

Ironically and despite anything you may have heard to the contrary, there’s really only two scenarios when dealing with someone with Diabetes who may be experiencing an extreme low or high. If they’re conscious and able to speak, they’ll either administer treatment themselves or let you know what they need. If they’re unconscious, call 911! I know there are some who would say the opposite but you should never try to feed something to an unconscious person. There’s a believe out there that if you give them sugared juice while waiting for an ambulance, they can treat the high rather than the other way around. That’s fuckin’ bullshit! Unless you’re able to test my blood glucose and confirm I’m suffering a low, don’t feed me shit! But that’s just me…

But it can be really hard in general when dealing with people who believe they know better than you. Little quips, such as “Should you really be eating that?” Or “I thought Diabetics couldn’t have sugar…” really grind my gears. And I swear to the light, if I have one more person suggest this book they saw at their local pharmacy that boasts a diet that can reverse Diabetes, my Zen calm will shatter! Although there could be dietary applications for folks with Type-2, that shit just doesn’t apply to me.

in these situations, I’m always reminded of one of my favourite quotes by Theodore Roosevelt, where he says, “It’s not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.” The quote goes on to say that it’s the person in the arena, facing the adversity, who is owed the credit. The same concept can be applied here. Just because you can’t see certain aspects of my condition or even for the aspects you can, I’m the one in the fight. I’m the one in the arena. The critics can check their opinions at the door. ☯️

George Michael Was Right…

Sometimes, you gotta have faith… Ah, that song brings me back. released in the late 80’s, it used to come on the radio in the mornings when I’d be on my way to school. Gets my foot tapping, even now. But I haven’t even gotten into today’s topic and I’m already slipping off the rails, so I’m going to rein myself in. As I said in the opener, sometimes, you gotta have faith. This is especially true when. You make the conscious decision to join a dojo or a sports club.

In general, people who walk into a dojo for the first time are likely to be inexperienced and unaware of the art they’re choosing to undertake. This makes it so very important that one be able to trust and have faith in what they’re being taught and who is teaching it. I remember when i first walked into a dojo, all the way back when I was a kid… Ironically not long after George Michael’s “Faith” was released, I had a head full of karate movie scenes and high expectations. I never could have imagined the journey I was about to embark on, or how it would ultimately change my life.

But imagine how that journey would have been different if I didn’t trust Sensei and the other senior students? Imagine if I questioned and doubted everything I was being shown and taught? I’d say it’s hard to fill a cup that’s already full but the joke is that if you’re walking into a dojo for the first time, your cup should be fuckin’ empty. Unless you’re one of these black belts who move to a different Province and end up having to train with a different style… *cough, cough* Moving on!

That trust and ability to have faith in the teachings you receive is a two-way door. You need to trust the people teaching you but they also have to be able to trust your. The dojo will only be as traditional and strong as its weakest student but it’s everybody’s responsibility to raise that weakest student up in order to ensure the strength and effectiveness of the curriculum and the reputation of the style. I recently had an associate who told me about a dojo he trained in, where he was put through hell for years on end to reach black belt.

Although he’s found himself moving on from there due to other obligations and responsibilities, he’s occasionally visited and has been disheartened by how the curriculum has weakened and become watered down to accommodate those who prefer not to get hurt or don’t want to put in as much effort. This is a sad and dangerous path for a dojo to follow. Not only will it dilute the style and make it less effective, those who grow in rank will be nowhere near as effective and skilled as their rank suggests and could put them in danger, should they ever be in a situation where they need to defend themselves.

Sensei saw this trend start to take shape about six or seven years ago, which ultimately led to him closing his dojo doors permanently. As sad as I am about that, I’m comforted in the fact that I trained hard, learned well and have confidence in my skills, which have been time-tested and proven. I rather that than have my beloved school turned into a cookie-cutter producer of people who don’t put their full effort into it or train the right way for the right reasons.

It’s important to trust in your dojo. If you have doubts or question what’s being taught, maybe that means that the school isn’t for you and you should likely move on. This doesn’t mean you should never question ANYTHING. But how can a dojo be strong if its students don’t trust each other, raise each other up and you don’t believe in what the sensei is teaching? Not only does this make it hard on you but on the dojo as a whole, as well. Always remember that choosing a style or a school to train with is a subjective thing. There’s nothing wrong with a school being wrong for you and moving on. Food for thought… ☯️