Category: Motivation

Happy Valentine’s Day

Last year I wrote a long-winded post (as if I ever write them otherwise) about the background and history of Valentine’s Day and how it’s typically celebrated. Rather than go through that all over again, I thought I would keep things fresh by writing about how WE celebrated our Valentine’s Day, which was done on Saturday. We made this choice due to a combination of needing a babysitter to watch the boys and the fact that our normal, everyday grind would kick back in on Monday and it would be more difficult to have an enjoyable evening.

Our evening started when the babysitter arrived. We’re blessed in that we have a very trustworthy and responsible young woman who lives across the street. She’s been babysitting for us since we moved here in 2016 and Nathan adores her. We’re lucky in that Alexander has also taken to her. An evening out always goes better when a parent knows their children are in good, trusted hands. We locked the door on our way out and tasted the freedom as we embarked on our evening together.

Laura’s dish, which looked as good as it tasted!

We went to dinner at a local restaurant called the Copper Kettle. Featuring a short menu of items that lean on the greek side, my wife ordered a combination of meat and veggies in a spiced sauce with lemon-seasoned potato wedges. I ordered a Bonanza burger with a side of fries because, well… this is me and I need to sample burgers from every restaurant I go to. I should really branch out at some point and experience other meals. But for now, burgers all the way!

We enjoyed our meal in relative quiet with some fun conversation where we discussed plans to do some things with our boys, travel aspirations and goals we’d like to accomplish in life. our food came soon enough and we enjoyed it thoroughly. In fact, my wife, who usually only eats half of her meal and brings the rest home for leftovers, managed to finish her plate off. We asked about dessert but realistically, we both had enough difficulty breathing from a full stomach that we passed.

My burger, which was delicious.

Once we had finished our meal, we had plans to go wander the local bookstore at our leisure then hit up the bulk store for some treats to curl up in front of the television. unfortunately for us, the book store was closing less than half an hour after we got to the restaurant and the bulk store closed at 7pm. Seems kind of ridiculous for a Saturday night. You’d think those business would be open a bit later on the weekends to get all the folks who work during the week, right? But I digress…

We topped our outing with a stop at our local retail chain where my wife let me pick out a fun box of hair dye for her to try and we looked at various items around the store. Not exactly hitting the clubs and painting the town red but we know what we like. We went home and relieved the babysitter, who reported no issues with the boys and went on her way. I usually don’t believe her; Nathan is typically a rolling ball of noise and Alexander is a rolling ball of destruction. I see no reason why they’d be different around the babysitter. But maybe they are. Who know?

Laura’s watch

Once we were home and had the boys squared away in bed, we poured some drinks and sat in our living room to binge-watch some Grey’s Anatomy. We got through an episode when I realized I hadn’t given Laura her Valentine’s Day gift. She insisted she could wait until Monday but my plan was to give it to her when we went out to dinner. Unfortunately, the box was large and square enough that I wouldn’t have been able to conceal it anywhere. So, she got it on Saturday night. I got her a Bulova watch. I’m a big fan of Bulova; they’re excellent watches that last for YEARS.

It was an excellent evening, with excellent company. I couldn’t have asked for better. Hopefully, all of you have the opportunity to enjoy your Valentine’s Day. And should you find yourself alone, just remember: some self-pampering and enjoyment can be a great way to spend the day. ☯️

Unfortunate Choices

“It’s my choice…” How often have we heard those words and wondered why these people haven’t given their heads a shake and wondered if their parents built them a swing set facing a brick wall as children? I have to admit that for the most part, I live my life one step removed from mainstream society. I do this for a number of reasons, including my disapproval of how society behaves and how they focus so damn much on “my rights” instead of “what’s right.” The general population believes that it’s inherently their right to enjoy the amenities that modern life provides without accepting the fact that it carries certain responsibilities that most people refuse to acknowledge.

The above illustration resonates with me, especially in light of everything happening within my own country. When faced with a dangerous virus that threatens the general populace, what do people do? Do they follow the rules and do what’s best for society? Do they take steps to ensure their own safety as well as the safety of others? No, of course not. I had a friend who posted a joke about how they intend to block a McDonald’s drive-thru until they brought back pizzas. After all, that’s how things work now, right?

It makes me sad, especially in light of the fact that the actions of others will always inevitably cause suffering in others. These people refuse to understand and acknowledge that for every action is an equal and opposite reaction, and such reactions are not always positive. It can cause immeasurable damage and MUST be considered, despite the fact that most people will refuse to acknowledge it.

Read the text in the above image carefully. In this scenario, an ignorant person decides to dig a hole into the floor of their cabin while on a boat. This person does this out of some morbid curiosity but secure in the fact that it’s “his own cabin.” Logic would dictate that a sane person should KNOW that digging a hole into the bottom of the boat would cause it to sink. But this person seems ignorant or oblivious to that fact, much like most people dealing with the world in “their own way” nowadays.

The meme goes on to demonstrate how the people in the immediate surroundings who are affected by this person’s choice are “pissed,” with the subject in question explaining that it’s his own cabin so why should it matter? The last line is the most important as it reads, “Personal choice only goes so far when we’re all on the same boat.” The lesson here is that the world is a pretty big place but despite it’s size, we’re all on the same boat and one’s choices affect everyone. As Captain Kirk and Mister Spock would agree, “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Or the one.” yes, I just used Star Trek nerdom to validate my point. It totally holds up…

You may think your’e in the right. And so you may be. You may think your cause is righteous. And so it may be. But one needs to seriously consider the repercussions of one’s actions and how it may be affecting others. Scratch that; how it IS affecting others. No one is immune to karma. All of these folks causing suffering on others will eventually face the consequences of their actions. And no, I’m not able to predict the future. I simply have enough objectivity to see how society is reacting when faced with difficult situations. Makes me think that my “one step removed” should be several more. Time will tell… ☯️

Like A Switch…

Unless you were born into wealth, life is a challenge. Hell, even IF you were born into wealth, life is a challenge. And one of the biggest challenges faced by someone with wealth is that they seldom appreciate it by virtue of having lived with it for so long. Most of us, myself included, would be inclined to tell those who claim that money doesn’t buy happiness, that we’d like to figure that out for ourselves. But i digress… The point is that we generally tend to take what we already have for granted. Let’s take running water, for example. Most people in the Western world have running water in their homes and functional sewage. We use these things without thought and appreciation for what a luxury those things truly are. But a quick visit to an impoverished country would wake us to the realities of how well we really have it.

Unfortunately, even if we had all the riches in El Dorado, we’d no doubt encounter something at some point in one’s life that will get us down. An important part of life is to recognize that we cause our own suffering. That’s one of the Four Noble Truths of the Buddha Dharma. But outside of this, there will always be obstacles that make a seemingly good life seem difficult. I’ve come to acknowledge this more than ever before, with some of what’s happened to me in recent years. But it is incumbent on me to do whatever may be necessary to right those wrongs and eliminate the suffering from my life. Such responsibility belongs to all of us. A brief food for thought… ☯️

A Little Something To Help The Journey…

As I’ve written in previous posts, I recently started practicing Shotokan karate. I was lucky enough to find a school in Regina and it’s quite traditional and shares many of the same values I was raised on, from a karate perspective. I officially registered with their school this month, making it the first time in over a decade that I’ve been a registered student in any dojo. I missed the majority of classes last week due to other obligations, a problem I didn’t have in my teens and 20’s, and I’ll be missing today by virtue of it being my eye injection appointment.

But it’s been fun and exciting. I’ve already learned some new forms and ways of doing techniques I’ve been using for decades. Learning something new is always a good thing and for me, the stagnation that’s come from training by myself for the past ten years has made me realize I have a long road ahead of me if I expect to regain some of the lost skill I used to have. Recent classes have shown that I lack muscle tone, flexibility and skill in certain areas where I used to shine. Ali used to say that it isn’t the mountains ahead that wear you out, it’s the little pebble in your shoe. Well, I have a lot of little pebbles…

One of the biggest things about karate is that it isn’t a “one and done” where you go to your scheduled classes every week then call it a day. A practitioner needs to focus on lessons outside the class, practicing what they’ve learned and honing it on their own, using class time as a means of obtaining correction and guidance to keep growing further. Otherwise, a 10-year journey will easily turn into a 20-year one. That’s why it’s important to have some tools to help you along your training. For most modern, western dojos, students won’t have access to their instructors outside of class hours. Depending on the style you’re studying, you can be lucky enough to find videos on YouTube that will demonstrate your techniques and katas so that you can practice them and obtain correction. In my day, we had do something different; we used books.

The first book on Shotokan karate I purchased years ago…

I can hear Mr. Miyagi’s voice in my head from the original Karate Kid movie, when he walks into Daniel Larusso’s apartment to fix the sink. “Learn karate from book?” The heavy accent and curiosity made the question seem as though he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. And with good reason. Book are a fantastic way to supplement one’s training and can contain material that’s valuable to a student’s progression in karate. But it’s important to note that a supplement is all that it is, and that nothing substitutes being in class learning from your counterparts and instructors. But I digress…

The book pictured above is one that I purchased almost five years ago. I was out at a book store and even though I am primarily a Uechi-Ryu practitioner, I was drawn by the book and chose to buy it. In all honesty, I never understood why and with all the material I read in the course of a year, combined with work, my kids and writing, I never gave it more than a cursory glance. Fast forward to this year, where bI’ve coincidentally joined a school of Shotokan. Most people are divided on the concept of all things happening for a reason but there’s something to be said for the fact I purchased a book on a different style of karate, years before I would consider joining one of their schools.

In an effort to try and get a leg up (karate pun fully intended) in my new learnings, I cracked this bad boy open and started using it to learn my first form. Learning from a book can be difficult if you’ve never seen the form done in person, since even if the illustrations are clear you could potentially err in such aspects as what direction to turn and how to place your footing. That’s one of the reasons that I suggest that being in-class and learning first is important, even if you’re practicing at home.

My most recent purchase…

Since I’d been training with Shotokan for a couple of weeks, I decided to get pro-active and look into whether they had some sort of primer of book that would relate directly to the founder of the style. This is where I came across the book pictured above. Some years ago, I came across the book entitled “Uechi Ryu Karate,” by George Mattson. Although written by an American, this book contained all the materials of my style from start to finish and all the illustrations included Master Uechi himself. It’s been an incredible aid in maintaining my katas and techniques, especially since I don’t have Sensei here to correct me.

“Karate-Do Kyohan” is similar in its content in that as far as I can tell, it contains all the pertinent material for Shotokan that covers all levels of training. I was pretty pleased to have found a second-hand edition of the book that someone was wiling to part with. The amount of material is immense and the illustrations clear in such a way that I will be able to get ahead of the curve on learning this new-to-me style of karate.Considering some of the differences in how they stand and their approaches to certain techniques, it will also help me to acclimate to this new environment as I learn one of the more popular styles of karate.

Karate is a life-long commitment. Unless you’ve completely given up on yourself it never goes away, even if you haven’t been in the dojo in years. And with that commitment comes the requirement to work hard and practice OUTSIDE THE DOJO. If all you do is attend class two or three times a week, do your hour then head home… Sure, you may get some fitness and some cardio in. As long as you pay attention and participate, you’ll even learn a thing or two. But if you want to become proficient, you have train outside of class. Take a couple of evenings to contribute an hour to your training. It’ll make all the difference and will help with your proficiency and overall karate journey. ☯️

If Only I Could Bottle That Stuff…

Kids provide an incredible insight to where we’ve BEEN, recognizing the youth and energy of life that we gradually lose as the weight and responsibility of adulthood begins to bear down on one’s shoulders. That may seem like a bit of a morose perspective, but an accurate one. Time creeps up on us all, and very few of us have watched a children at play without acknowledging that we wish we still had their level of energy, enthusiasm and flexibility. Personally, I tend to feel a tinge of jealousy at how my son Nathan is viewing and experiencing most things in his life for the first time.

Yesterday morning was atypical for me, considering my pump had only interrupted me once during the night and I was able to ACTUALLY sleep until almost 9 a.m. What was more typical was Nathan’s behaviour. As soon as my eyes opened, he was at the bedroom door asking me how my sleep was. If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think he was sitting outside the door waiting for me to wake up. I responded that it had been decent and he immediately started into a tirade of verbal diarrhea, most of which I didn’t understand. Since the baby’s room was right next to ours, I warned him about waking him and shooed him off.

I was barely able make my way out of bed and to the kitchen to grab some caffeine before Nathan was excitedly asking me if he could wear a particular shirt. I sleepily replied that it was fine, even though it was a short-sleeve shirt and we’re still in the depth of winter. He ran off and it took me a full minute to realize that it was first thing in the morning (relatively speaking) and he appeared to be getting dressed for the day. This isn’t typical for him, with a growing battle ensuing every time I try to get him dressed to go somewhere.

Then it struck me… We had a reasonable snowfall last night and our next door neighbour was kindly using his snowblower on our entire driveway. Nathan is usually a fan of being outside while snow is being cleared. After all, what kid doesn’t like to see a white jet of powdered snow being shot everywhere, right? Plus, our neighbour has a friendly dog, which appeals to any kid. He was dressed and out the door within minutes, which was more than I could say for myself. I made a quick shake of blueberries and spinach and alternated between that and my caffeine, trying to shake off the last vestiges of sleep. I wish I had his energy…

I’ve always had the belief that life brings movement, movement brings energy and energy brings life… Wash, rinse and repeat. But I would be lying if I said that eventually, one’s energy gets allocated to different things in life. It can be a shame, since the prospect of going outside and clearing snow weighs on me and frustrates me, while my son is fascinated and loves the aspect. It’s this difference in perspective that we lose as we get older and this also affects our energy. ☯️

A Question Of Perspective…

I recently reconnected on Facebook with an old friend that I graduated high school with. It’s one of the few and far between benefits of social media. For the past twenty years, I’ve had no idea where he ended up or what he was doing with his life. It was good to reconnect and see a little bit about his life. He frequently posts motivational and inspirational quotes and I wanted to share this one with y’all because it spoke to me. Plus, it keeps y’all from having to read one of my long-winded explanations of something on your Saturday morning. Enjoy, this one resonates…☯️

A Little Monday Motivation…

There’s no denying that the past few years have been extremely challenging for most people and even more so for some. I know that for myself, life had turned into a churning tempest of chaos well over a year before COVID-19 sunk it’s miserable talons into everything. Despite the pandemic still having a solid hold on society (some feel we’re reaching the end of it, but I believe it’s a “remains to be seen” kind of thing), life has become significantly better for my household and I. And since today is not only a Monday, notoriously known for being disliked by most adults AND it happens to be the last day of the first month of 2022, I think a little motivation is a good thing.

Sometime during the whole mess, I adopted a practice of visualizing some inspirational words. I did this by taping up something inspirational or motivational on the wall next to my desk so that I could turn and read it when I’d be working. Although I changed up the quotes and sheets I used a few times over a couple of years, the habit of visually seeing the words and reading them aloud became common for me and helped me at times when I was struggling. Being as that my workspace was located in a small nook under my stairs, the last sheet of paper was undisturbed and left alone when renovations took place and are still there.

To be honest, I don’t know who wrote this quote. I’ve used some famous ones that were easily identifiable, sure. But I can’t recall where this one came from or even who penned it. And I can’t be bothered to look. But the words are sound and I thought it would be a good idea to share it with all of you:

“Will Emerge From This Nightmare
Like The Powerful, Beautiful, Resilient Person That You Are.
It Can Be Hard To Remember This When You
Feel Like A Shell Of The Person You Once Were,
But Trust Me: You Are Capable Of Overcoming
So Much More Than You Think.”

The words still speak to me and resonate, especially during the times when things seem to get rough or difficult. As I always say, life doesn’t care about your plan. You can plan things, set up goals and do your best at working towards them but ultimately, life will decide what kind of speed bumps you encounter along the way. After all, it’s like one of my favourite characters, Jean-Luc Picard once said, “It’s possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life.” Food for thought…☯️

Just For Laughs…

I found some Diabetes-related memes online and they made me laugh, so I thought I’d share them and see if they make y’all laugh as well. Enjoy… ☯️

This first one is “ironically” funny. I can relate to this. I hate when my blood sugars spike and I seem to bolus a huge amount every hour and it doesn’t seem to come down.

Yup, at least three or four times a night.

Your Comfort Zone Is A Horrible Place To Die…

When all is said and done, you’ll really only get as much out of life as you put into it. Want to lose weight? Eat right and exercise. It won’t happen on its own if you’re sitting on the couch scarfing potato chips and doing fuck all. Wanna learn a new skill? Buckle up and settle in to study, train and develop yourself. Wanna learn karate? It ain’t a knitting circle so you need to be prepared for the blood, sweat and tears that will ensue over the next decade or more to become proficient. Notice that I say “proficient” and not “master,” as karate is a lifelong journey that you’re never really done studying.

An important lesson I’ve learned recently is just how little I actually know. I’ve been studying Uechi Ryu for over three decades at this point, with one third of that time being on my own by virtue of living 3,400 kilometres away from my Sensei. The passage of time and lack of travel ability has brought me to my current state where I made the decision to transition to a new style. Still karate, of course. But I recently joined a Shotokan school and it’s already been quite the ride…

Besides the fact that I’ve become older, slower and thicker (not in the complimentary way), the challenge is significantly different for me, this time around. Add to that the fact that I’m an old dog, teaching me new tricks is not without challenge. My hat’s off to the team of instructors in my new dojo that has to deal with the skilled, unknown black belt gracing their dojo yet doing everything just a LITTLE bit different than how they do.

And this is where the relevance of the title comes in… The past couple of weeks have certainly taken me out of my comfort zone. I’ve started learning different stances, different ways of doing the techniques that ARE familiar, as well as being exposed to a plethora of new forms and katas. I’m definitely enjoying learning new things but it’s been a humbling experience to acknowledge that even though I’ve grown proficient in my style, I’ve also grown comfortable and complacent, which is a horrible state to be in. Complacency leads to loss of proficiency in a terrible “chicken or the egg’ scenario, when it comes to one’s training.

I’m glad that I’ve been able to hammer on and start learning again. Despite how long I’ve at this and the realization that I don’t quite have the same amount of piss and vinegar that I used to, it’s humbling to recognize that there’s still a lot to learn, still a long road to travel and still some exciting surprises for me in the world of karate. I attended my second class of the week last night and my legs are definitely feeling it, with the last class of the week scheduled for tonight. Between work and other obligations, I’m hoping I can keep the circulation going and hammer through tonight’s class efficiently.

Find something you’re passionate about. I think that’s my main message. It’s important to have goals to achieve, but it shouldn’t be torturous and you shouldn’t come out of it feeling as though it was a chore. It’s okay to acknowledge that it was hard; anything worth your time will be. But hard and torturous are two entirely different things. Karate started out as a way to save my life. That’s why I started training. But it’s become a part of me and something I love. I’m blessed to have found a new path on this journey and would encourage all of you to find the path that’s right for you. ☯️

The Bystander Effect…

Ah, bystanders… If you’ve ever been present during a fight in school, you know that there’s usually ALWAYS a group of looky-loos who will stand around and watch things play out. Even if one of the combatants happen to be a bully and seems to be overwhelming the other, people will usually just stand and watch as opposed to stepping in and helping or breaking them up.

This phenomenon is known as the Bystander Effct, and in simple terms it refers to a social theory where people likely won’t help someone (even if they need it) if there are other people there with them. Part of the concept is that most people are likely to believe that someone else will step in, making them hesitate to step in and help, themselves. These days, the big problem is that the majority of people are obsessed with whipping out their fucking cell phones and filming what they see in the interest of posting it on the internet as opposed to helping their fellow man/woman.

According to an article I found posted by Psychology Today, “the bystander effect occurs when the presence of others discourages an individual from intervening in an emergency situation, against a bully, or during an assault or other crime. The greater the number of bystanders, the less likely it is for any one of them to provide help to a person in distress. People are more likely to take action in a crisis when there are few or no other witnesses present.”

The article goes on to explain the perception of diffusion of responsibility and what influence society has on a person. Also, some people may choose not to react in response to fear, believing that intervening could lead to an increased level of danger against themselves. Depending on where you live, some people also have the fear of liability if they intervene, with the prospect of getting sued, buzzing at the back of their minds. While many places in North America have no legal obligation for someone to step in and help, there are places that have adopted “duty-to-rescue” laws, making it illegal to simply sit and watch if someone is in distress.

Last but not least, as I mentioned earlier, we live in world of social media and the internet. This has had an increased impact on the Bystander Effect, since most people are more likely to whip out their phones and record an incident than get involved. Another aspect is many people will avoid getting involved BECAUSE they fear it being documented on the internet. Chicken and the egg. But I if you Google “bystander effect,” you’ll find tons of examples where someone has been in distress and even in mortal danger, where others have simply recorded with their phones or sat back and done nothing.

So, how does one break this spell? Well, the ideal thing is to assume you’ll be the only one to do something. Then do it. Even if that only means using verbal intervention and yelling at the aggressor. As I always say, anything is something more than nothing. But from strictly a moral standpoint, it’s important for one to consider that if one was stuck in the same situation as they’re witnessing, they would likely appreciated someone helping out. Could there be legal ramifications? Yes, there could. But at the end of the day, if it means everyone gets to go home to their loved ones, any other challenge can be overcome. Food for thought… ☯️