Category: Motivation

The Photos Not Taken…

We live in an unfortunate world where if you accidentally burp in a public place, there’s a good chance some wangless douchebag caught it on their phone and uploaded to whatever social media platform they’re trying to get free stuff on. I sometimes feel extremely grateful to have grown up during a period of society where not EVERYTHING was documented by every person who walks by, where if someone is having a genuine emergency and needs help, people are running for a phone to call for help and actually contribute to that help instead of whipping out their cell phone.

Despite my love/hate opinions in how society conducts itself, one significant benefit of the age we live in, is the fact that our technology allows us the benefit of the very thing I’m complaining about. For example, if my toddler does some adorable, destructive thing, like beat the shit out of his brother who’s literally twice his age and size, I can capture the memory in seconds. This makes for a rich book of memories that I can look back on, years from now and remember. I still have nights where I look through my photos and videos and reminisce about my first day watching cartoons with Nathan when he was born, or the day he slipped into a horse stance and downward block.

I imagine all the times in my life that would be wonderful to look back on and reminisce. My parents made a point of taking photos of me here and there but there are pinnacle moments in my life that were never documented. My first steps, my first time riding a bike… Getting my black belt. So many times that documenting the event would have been great. I think of all the times my father and I went swimming in the forest or hiking, biking long distances together or even watching the latest Star Trek movie… It’s the photos not taken that we regret the most. But the important thing to remember, if one CAN remember, is the memory.

There are plenty of times in my life that I’m grateful weren’t documented. But it’s the photos not taken that I wish I had. I imagine if I could have had a photograph of my brother and I, in the week before he went into the hospital for the last time. Imagine that? I have everything in my mind, focused and clear. But they’re memories that I’ll ever only be able to share with others in word or written form. It’s like someone who looks through a family album and asks where the dad is; chances are, he’s the one taking all the photographs.

Enjoy the memories you make. It isn’t by staring through the lens of a camera that you’ll make those memories; it’s by experiencing them. Do I have photos of every family trip or important milestone in my life? No, but that means I got to LIVE them. That’s what’s important in life. one of the greatest experiences in my life was travelling to Japan and Okinawa. I have TONS of photos and videos of that trip. Know why? because Sensei loved me enough to document the entire trip for me. because he’d been there a dozen times before and wanted me to experience it. It’s a lesson one needs to realize. It can’t be taught. Food for thought… ☯️

Eyes On The Prize…

We often hear that we live in a world of increasing technology. Realistically, I would be more inclined to say that we live in a world of EVER-changing technology, with the face of the world changing constantly with it. One of the big things that have changed for the worst, is how society has become more immersed in its technology than the biological world around it. I’ve written about this on a few occasions. Kind of hard not to, with almost 1,500 posts… If I didn’t start repeating myself at some point, we’d have a problem. But the biggest example of this phenomenon includes people who suddenly have an opinion or decide they can argue by virtue of the fact that they’re protected by the other side of their device.

But likely the one that’s even worse than being an armchair warrior with an over-inflated sense of self, are the phone zombies. You know the ones, they’re the people who walk around in public places, on the street, in businesses and everywhere, while staring down at their phone instead of watching the world around them. Although I’d love to blame the technology, people are usually pretty ignorant of their surroundings, in general. I have a bit of a biased outlook on this, since police and martial arts training have a tendency of making one significantly aware of one’s surroundings. The average person does not seem to have ability. Or care to learn.

For the most part, people in public places will be fixated on their own goals and destination and will usually ignore anything or anyone in their path. Not only is this incredibly dangerous, but it’s also incredibly ignorant. There’s nothing worse than walking down an aisle somewhere, only to have some jack-ass nearly take out my ankles with their shopping cart. Or having them stop right in front of me and block my way and when I clear my throat and they’ll literally turn and look at me and make eye contact, just to go back to what they were doing. Then, I might even push it further and say “Excuse me,” which goes completely ignored, as well.

Now folks, I am about as far from perfect as one can get. In fact, I could bet really good money that I’ve inadvertently gotten in someone’s way or blocked their path. But when someone points it out and asks to be let by, for the love of the light, people! Get. The Fuck. Out. Of the way! Needless to say, there’s also the aspect that paying attention to one’s surroundings and being considerate of others could potentially save one’s life. If someone intends to do you harm, where do you think your best chance of surviving lies? By having your eyes up and seeing the threat coming? Or having your head down in your phone, updating your Twitter-Tik-Face-gram-chat?

It’s important to be aware of one’s surroundings. For your safety, the safety of others and last but certainly not least, to have one’s eyes on the vast, wonderful world around you. Life comes down to the things we experience, not the screens we stare at. If you spend your whole life staring at a screen, life will quickly pass you by. Food for thought… ☯️

A Little Water Goes A Long, Long Way…

Years ago, I had the opportunity to participate in a a fun weekend the likes of which I had never experienced before and haven’t quite experienced since. I’m talking the weekend I canoed down the Restigouche River. By the time I had reached my teens, I had the opportunity to camp overnight in commercial campgrounds and do SOME things outside, but I had never truly experienced the outdoors and surviving on my own until I had the opportunity to paddle down the river with one of my oldest and dearest friends. He likely won’t be reading this so I can flip some shit about him but I’ll mostly be focusing on our first trip down the river.

When my friend first suggested this trip, it was described as a 3-day ordeal of paddling and exposure to the elements. I wasn’t quite on board, especially since it would involve missing some karate classes but he finally convinced me. My friend’s family owned a rental company so we had the benefit of getting the canoe, supply barrels and various equipment for free. His mother took both our wallets with the thought that if we lost it in the river, we’d be screwed. As good a thought as that was, at the time, reflection on that aspect decades later tells me that if something had happened to us on the river, authorities would have had no way to identify our bodies. But it all worked out, so I guess I digress…

We were driven north-west by one of my friend’s sisters and dropped off at a launching site. The adventure started when we realized that we would be hit by a solid bout of rain before we got on the river. I foolishly thought that we would throw in the towel but my friend pointed out that it would be pretty silly to sacrifice 3 days of fun on the river for a little rain. I agreed and we cast off. Although we immediately got drenched by the rain, we had a blast. We paddled for a number of hours before we found a spot on the river that was out of water and safe enough to set up camp for the night.

Restigouche River, taken from Wikipedia

We got a fire going, set up the tent and had an hour of quiet reflection as we chatted and snacked on the side of a river. The following morning, we shared the chores of getting the camp taken down as well as making a makeshift breakfast in a cast iron pan over a roaring campfire. It was a fantastic morning. We even had a forest ranger come visit and chat with us over coffee for while. No devices, no internet, no distractions. Nothing but good conversation and the open river.

We took to the water early on and started paddling down. We arrived at a part of the river where there was a deep, clear pool of water. We parked the canoe and tied it off and got in the water and floated down river in our life jackets for a bit. We were able to see so many freshwater salmon rushing around us. It was a fantastic experience. We set up camp for the second time that afternoon and spent some time swimming, laughing, signing A Cappella and enjoying the silent peace of the wilderness. It made me wonder why I had never done anything of this sort before. Then, I remembered that I was a Type-1 Diabetic and my parents were paranoid and shielded me from life. But I digress.

We reached the shores of Atholville, which meant that my friend’s family would be around to pick us up shortly. We were dehydrated, exhausted but happy. Our 3-day transit was a combination of intense exercise from the paddling and being in the elements. Packing up the canoe and our equipment almost felt like a tedious endeavour and took forever. That ride back into town felt surreal; like being in the civilized world was something we had left behind. But it didn’t take long for us to get back to my friend’s Apartment where a hunger the likes of which I haven’t felt in forever took hold.

It was hard getting back to normal after that. A few years later, we would follow-up with a second trip down the river. It’s fantastic fun. I highly recommend enjoying some time in the forest where you ACTUALLY have some time to connect with nature and disconnect from modern life. It’s been a couple of decades since those two river trips and all the fun we had. Maybe sometime ion the near future, I’l need to find a way to introduce my sons to that same level of peace and nature. ☯️

A Quieter Weekend…

So for some reason, my son had yesterday off from school. He still had the Monday holiday off, but he was given Friday off, as well. I don’t know if my parents thought this, but I can’t help but feel that he gets WAY more days off than I ever did when I went to school. Anyway, because he had a four-day weekend, my mother-in-law agreed to come to Regina and pick him up for the weekend. The result is one less child in the house for the weekend. This posed an interesting opportunity since I typically have a pretty fixed weekend routine. Friday night is when Nathan and I have our boys’ night. Saturday night is when my wife and I have our movie/tv night. Sunday is for laundry, grocery shopping and prepping for the week to come.

With Nathan gone, my Friday night suddenly became open. I’m a creature of habit so I don’t do all that well when there’s a change in my routine. What would I do? An extra movie night? Play with the baby? maybe if I had something resembling a life outside of work, home and karate I would go out for drinks with friends. But I’m not one of those people. Then my wife had an excellent suggestion; I should still have my “boys’ night” but with Alexander. He very rarely gets to hang out in the basement with me and he’s always calling for me when I’m in the house so it made sense and it was a good suggestion.

As much as I love him and as much as I hate to admit it, Alexander often gets overlooked. The reason behind that is quite simple; he and Nathan usually can’t be in the same room for extended periods, lest they harm each other or destroy their environment. I would expect no less from my loin-fruit. But because of this, Alexander is usually relegated to the living room where his toys and the television is located. I’d hang out in there more often but my OCD can’t handle the mess he makes with his toys and when I DO hang out in there, Nathan usually comes to the gate to get my attention and causes all sorts of chaos.

I know, I know… First world problems, am I right? I have two strong, healthy children and that should be enough. But controlling them both is challenging and frustrating, which usually leads to me hanging out with Nathan downstairs while Alexander hangs in the living room. Not last night. Oh no, sir! Not last night… Last night, I had the opportunity to spend some time downstairs with Alexander without Nathan upsetting the delicate balance of tranquility and quiet enjoyment of my toddler. We watched cartoons, played some games and enjoyed some cuddles. It was nice but more than anything else, it was important.

Life goes by in a flicker. A very short flicker. Alexander just turned 3-years old a little over a week ago and it seems like time has just flown. I honestly never knew time could fly by so fast until I had children. But appreciating the little moments makes it all seem better. Alexander and I had a fun night, last night. I’m sure my son Nathan had a god time with his grandmother, as well. Making time for both my children can be challenging but so rewarding and important. ☯️

Life’s Too Short…

One of the big things that I think we can all agree on, is that life is pretty short. I’m sure there are those that feel life drags on, but that isn’t what today’s post is about. The point is, no matter what your background or personal beliefs, no one truly knows what happens after the end of this life nor can we speak clearly with those who have gone on to experience whatever comes next. For that reason, it’s important to recognize that we need to enjoy and experience all the positive things life has to offer while we’re here. Life is too short for regrets.

I’ve often written about how I have no regrets and that remains true. After all, every decision and every life choice, good or bad, has brought me to who I am today. And I’m pretty fuckin’ pleased with myself (at least that’s what my family tells me). But seriously, I’m very happy with who I am as a person and I have to acknowledge that my specific path brought me here, so how could I regret it? Depending on where you are in life, I don’t think it’s so much an idea of regret as it is a matter of working towards making life better. This applies especially, when it comes to one’s employment.

Nowadays, a job isn’t a luxury, it’s a requirement. The unfortunate reality is that money is needed to live a standard life. Even the mor3 creative folks who decide to live “off grid” will need some form of currency in order to obtain the materials and equipment they need to take themselves off grid. Money is the unfortunate common denominator that joins all the worlds problems and solutions, and a job is typically the only way to come by it honestly.

I’ve had a LOT of jobs in my life, starting with being a “card collector” for my local church’s Thursday evening bingo games. Between each game, I would walk the rows and collect all the used and dabbed bingo cards to make room for the fresh ones. What a gargantuan waste of paper! I wonder if they still play that way? Anyhoo, it paid $5 for the evening and usually after a month, I had enough to buy whatever monthly editions of comics I wanted with a couple of dollars leftover. Ah, the good ol’ days…

It was a decent gig for the time and my age but I’ll confess that not all jobs were like that. I remember working in the call intake centre for a well-known courier. The job paid phenomenally but I made the mistake of starting it over the holiday season. As a result, I was getting all the panicky, frustrated people who wanted their packages delivered in an unrealistic timeline because it had to reach certain destinations by Christmas. The stress and anxiety that job caused still makes me wonder how that place kept any staff.

Although it paid very well and I was living my best life at the time, I was absolutely miserable. The very thought of going into work had my stomach in such a knot that I didn’t have a healthy bathroom trip for months. You’re welcome, for sharing that last detail. I was only at the beginning of this career path but I could already tell it wouldn’t be for me and wouldn’t bring me joy, despite the amount of money I was bringing in.

By contrast, my years as a police officer were fantastic. I was happy. I was protecting people and saving lives. I was fulfilled, satisfied and pleased with the direction my life was taking. And once I had been on that career path for a number of years, I was making a salary that allowed me to live comfortably. I wasn’t rich, by any stretch of the imagination. After all, the old saying about “honest cop’s salary” is no joke. By I wasn’t on street eating canned beans. And I got to do what I loved.

The ultimate point to this post is twofold. On the one hand, it won’t be the money that makes you happy. Although you need to consider your family and finances in order to ensure you remain whole, it’s important that you be happy in what you do. And if you ARE, the money won’t be so important. But you need to be realistic about what you want and how you’re doing it, all while being cognizant not to make brash choices that COULD affect your family and home life.

On the other hand, while it’s important not to rush off and abandon a job that may not be a fit for you, the big thing as well is not to contribute to making it a toxic environment. I’m currently aware of people within my environment that do very little than bad-talk and spread negative misinformation on the job. They’re still quite good at what they do but they won’t stop bitching about it. If you’ve reached that point, not only do you need to step away and leave that job behind for yourself but also for the other employees that have to sit there and hear your negativity.

Folks, life is too short. It’s important to do something you love. Or at the very least, something you can enjoy. Money isn’t everything and if you’ve worked hard to get to where you are, you should enjoy the ride. Do what you love and you’ll technically never work a day in your life. And that’s the secret to happiness; find the path that suits you, know what you’re worth and drive towards that. Keeping in mind that if your family depends on you, you don’t have the option of living out of a suitcase while you figure it out. I did say life is short, after all. Food for thought… ☯️

National Day For truth And Reconciliation

Today is a statutory holiday that recognizes the legacy of the Canadian residential school system and the impact it’s had. Although it was first established in 2013, it was elevated to a statutory by Parliament of Canada in 2021. This is the second year that I get to participate by wearing an orange shirt to work. The wearing of an orange shirt was inspired by a residential school survivor who had her brand new orange shirt taken from her on her first day of residential schooling.

To be honest, as important of a day as this is, I don’t believe I could do it justice by trying to explain. There are plenty of resources out there that can properly explain what this day means and why it’s so important. My son has the day off school, but they observed in class yesterday by wearing orange t-shirts. I managed to get my hands on an orange dress shirt to wear for work. Feel free to look it up and read up on it. Even if you just visit Wikipedia or Canada.ca for information, it’s worth the read. ☯️

Tempus Fugit…

It seems like just yesterday that my wife announced we’d be adding a second bundle of chaos to our merry-go-round of a household… How in the light have we reached this point already? Yesterday marked my toddler-no-more Alexander’s third birthday. Because I’m busy and rarely on the ball, I didn’t post about it yesterday. And here we are…

There’s a lot to love about my chunky little red-headed ball of DNA. Besides his endless locks of bright, red hair (an aspect he inherited from both his mother and I) or the fact that he has some reasonable heft and weight to him that makes him formidable to handle, his slowly expanding vocabulary has started to make things interesting as he has begun to express himself and communicate more.

That, and his complicated and often violent relationship with his older brother keep things noisy and “interesting” within the Cook household. Although both brothers whine and pine for each other’s company, they rarely last more than ten to fifteen minutes before one of them ends up in tears. Such is the way with brothers, I guess. But I digress…

I still remember when Alexander was born. I was stuck in New Brunswick on a work-related trip and my wife went into labour during my absence. It took her, her mother and my mother to convince me that even if I jumped in a car and left for my departure airport that very moment, I still wouldn’t make it home in time. I was stuck on the other side of the country when my youngest-born came into the world, no doubt kicking and screaming. The light bless my mother-in-law, who came to my wife’s side and was there when I couldn’t be.

Since then, Alex has present a positive presence in our home. Always quick with a hug or kiss, he has a strong love for fighting and wrestling, hinting that he may be the successor in the martial arts that I’ve been wanting. He has a firm love for all of his family members and will usually get upset when he realizes that any one of us has left the house without him. His sneaky smile when he refuses to comply or listen is even adorable.

Happy birthday, Alexander! I can’t stress enough that I can’t believe it’s already been this long but after only three years, you’ve firmly rooted yourself in our lives to the point where I can’t recall how life felt before you came along. Such is the beauty of children. Here’s to many more happy years, my little peanut! ☯️

A Chosen Path…

Life rarely cares about one’s plans. Light knows that this is something I’ve said in more posts than I can count. And it’s true; life will carry on no matter what steps we take and what path we choose. The thing is, even a chosen path will eventually diverge and split off, leading to consequences and outcomes that we may not want or couldn’t have foreseen. This isn’t always a good thing but it’ll rarely be a negative thing, since one can always make the best of any situation, good or bad. Depending on the choices we make and the decisions we take, it can often seem as though we should simply let go and move onto something else. But the reality is that nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight.

Life doesn’t make it easy to choose a path. After all, life in general will seek to take the path of least resistance by throwing that resistance at us. And as human beings, we’re no different. Sometimes, when things become difficult or we don’t see the outcome we thought we’d necessarily get it can seem easy to lay down one’s sword and surrender. We almost always seek to take the path of least resistance unless we can clearly see a desired outcome. But it isn’t until one has fought through the difficulty that one can hope to reach that desired outcome. It will assuredly never happen on its own.

The important thing to remember is that if one commits to something and work hard to achieve it, one must see it through. Whether one succeeds or fails will depend on the effort one uses but here’s the key lesson… If you try, you may succeed or you may fail. If you don’t try, you’re guaranteed to fail. And depending on what time and resources you’ve spent in order to try, it may cost far more to give up and than it would to push through, even if it isn’t al sunshine and rainbows. I learned that the hard way.

This concept can apply to all things in life. Work, fitness goals, relationship goals or plans for one’s direction in life. Keeping an eye on the prize, as it were, is the only way to ensure the elimination of unnecessary suffering in one’s life and ensure some level or degree of success. As the old saying goes, “work smarter, not harder.” Food for thought… ☯️

Your Health Starts With You

I was having a conversation about Diabetes and A1C readings with my wife this past weekend, when i started to discuss and bring up many of the other folks I’ve known through my life who have Diabetes. It made me realize that for the most part, almost everyone I know who has either Type-1 or Type-2 Diabetes has failed to take care of themselves to the extent that they’ve caused damage to themselves that can no longer be repaired. It’s made me realize just how involved my care has been and how far my training and efforts have brought me.

After four decades of living with Type-1 Diabetes, I enjoy the pleasure of retaining all my limbs and digits, have a clean nervous system, clear kidneys and have the heart of a horse. In fact, I ran a stress test just a few short years ago and even ran the PARE two years ago in New Brunswick against other candidates half my age. But such health didn’t come naturally or on its own. It took a lot of time, training and effort to maintain this level of health and avoid many of the symptoms and side effects of Diabetes that many of my counterparts have had to suffer through.

Before getting on an insulin pump, a lot of my Diabetes control had to be done by feel. Carb-counting wasn’t something I was familiar with and I still adhered to the concept that sugar was what I needed to avoid. That being said, I worked pretty hard on my physical health, pushing myself and my body until I managed to grow and develop without many of the limitations that Diabetes has brought on others. When I joined the martial arts, it gave me tools and methods to ensure I could continue to maintain my health well into my years, which is a practice I still observe today.

None of that is easy and it would absolutely be simpler to just sit back, take it easy and let my body rest. That would likely feel much better but time and others have proven that such a path is what causes quicker complications and a sooner death; two things I’m trying very hard to avoid. None of this means that I haven’t gone down some difficult steps before. In my youth, before I had full control and say into my treatment, I suffered through comas, vision complications and high A1C’s. But once I took ownership of my therapies and the course of my life, I was able to make a measurable difference. And that’s the key takeaway; Diabetes has no feelings, no emotions and doesn’t care whether one lives or dies. This is why it’s up to the person themselves to take steps to maintain one’s health and ensure a longer and healthier life. ☯️

Don’t Get Into A Slump…

Having a routine can be a good thing and can help ensure that there’s some consistency and smoothness to one’s day. If I take myself as an example, I’m comforted by the familiarity of waking up, making my son’s lunch for school, grabbing some cold caffeine and preparing for my day at work. Routines also allow us to save valuable energy as developing some muscle memory almost allows one to operate on auto-pilot, first thing in the morning. If it weren’t for auto-pilot, I’d likely show up to work in pyjamas instead of a suit. But I digress…

As handy as routines can be, it’s also important to recognize that they can bring a certain level of complacency to one’s day. And as we all know, complacency can be harmful, especially if we frame it in regards to something like martial arts. being complacent and set in our routine can be harmful because it could leave you vulnerable in the event of a real-life combat situation. This is why it’s important to throw in something unexpected once in a while.

Breaking one’s routines is also extremely helpful in keeping you from becoming bored with your fitness. If you ALWAYS do the same batch of exercises, every time you work out, you’re more likely to get bored and not WANT to work out. This is especially true in karate, where doing the exact same warm-up for every class will have some of your students’ eyes glazing over in a pinch. By changing things up and incorporating different workouts, it keeps things dynamic and engaging and will help with retaining students.

In my younger years, we would occasionally train outside during the summer. It was a small change and pretty rare but it added a little something. On occasion, I would train while under water. Not my head, mind you… I’m rather fond of breathing. Once in a while, I would train with my bo staff next to a local fountain. All of these things added a touch of flavour to my overall training that kept things interesting and exciting. If all one does is show up to the dojo, train for that class and go home, over and over, chances are you’ll hit a slump and be far more likely to do that whole “temporarily quitting” thing. ☯️