Cowardly, Or Smart?

I think that at some point, we’ve all had someone who has done us wrong in the course of our life. In some cases, the wrong was severe enough to alter the very course of our existence and make us wonder what, if anything, we’d do if we had this person standing in front of us and we had the opportunity to do something. I had such an opportunity, last week. And I found myself contemplating my next move. Several scenarios played out in my head as I calculated potential outcomes and whether they were ultimately worth it or not. Ultimately, I walked away before this person could even see me. Cowardly, or smart?

Picture this: you’re questioned and asked about something that you deny. The questioner tells you it’s done there and they won’t take it further. And then they do. What follows is almost three years of a hellish version of what you recognize as life while you try and put the pieces back together. You walk away and reassemble the pieces to forge a new identity for yourself. You give up who you were; not just a job but the very fabric of your existence and who you saw yourself as. The result is a temporary slip in a world of smoke and alcohol, surviving rather than living. You watch, as the world takes apart the very profession you grew to love and thought defined you.

And all of sudden, out of the blue and on a random day when you were expecting anything but, you see the person who started it all. And this person, the one who crippled your previous career, harmed your family life and endangered the future of your children is just walking along casually, enjoying their day and making the most of some down time. You stand there, frozen, contemplating what you should do next. Should you approach and finally say your peace? Perhaps show that you came out stronger and better than when you went in? I finally snapped out of it, long enough to walk away…

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. I don’t need this person to know that I’ve carried on. I don’t need them to know that I’ve evolved and have gone on to do better things. I know I have and my family knows I have, and that’s really all I need in order to find my peace. Anger, hatred, bitterness… These are the things that bring further suffering in one’s life and in case some of y”all haven’t been reading my stuff in recent years, the elimination of suffering is kind of my jam. At some point, we need to learnt o let go of the pain and difficulties we’ve faced, especially if we’ve fought our way through and came out better. I often wondered what would happened if I faced this person and now I know. There isn’t a cowardly bone in my body. I simply realize that they aren’t worth my time and thoughts. ☯️