Category: Motivation

When Your Pillow Is Stronger Than Your Will…

One of the big things that makes dealing with the winter months harder is the fact that it’s always dark when I start my day. This basically forces my body to say, “Nah, bro! Lay your head back down and relax, it isn’t light out yet…” As much as I would like to succumb to that little voice, duty and responsibility are usually the prevailing factors. This morning was no exception. I woke to my alarm, which is a pretty rare occurrence for me. I usually toss and turn and wake well before my alarm goes off.

I got out of bed and started on what is the first day of my family’s complete routine when it isn’t the holidays, which includes making a school lunch for my oldest. Today is his first day back to school and he couldn’t have been more thrilled. Kidding. Totally fucking kidding. He was like a bag of smashed ass when he woke up. In fact, lately he’s always carried a look as though he needs a cup of coffee to start his day. This is well in keeping with the fact that he’s developed a significant teenage-like attitude despite only being 8-years old. No idea where he gets it from…

Begrudgingly walking to school

I’m usually gone to work by the time he gets up for school but this morning was apparently the day he chose to view the world as I did, staring out his window and seeing that it was still dark. This led him to believe that his place was in his bed as opposed to braving the elements to head to school. It took a bit of convincing from my wife to make him understand that it was still dark because the nights are longer right now but that yes, he needed to get up for school.

He eventually made his way towards getting dressed, grabbing his things and heading out the door, albeit begrudgingly. According not my wife, he never said a single word from the time he woke up to the moment he stepped out the door. This is the basis for his first day back to school. Poor kid. I don’t think I’ve ever related to my son as much as I have this morning. It’s rough, heading back in after having been on break for a while.

I was extremely close to just saying screw it and staying in bed, this morning. Such is the effect that winter has on an aging body. So deep was my sense of fatigue that I actually caved and purchased an energy drink on the way to work; my first can of 2023, not that this is something I’m bragging about. But this morning has certainly made me appreciate the down time I’ve had over the holidays and the ability to simply sleep without an alarm (until my boys woke up). ☯️

Back In The Tilted Saddle…

It’s been something of a rough six months for me. Although I recognize that some may have some significant issues they’re dealing with in their own lives, one must acknowledge that our individual obstacles in life are specific to us, so I make no apologies for disliking anything I may be dealing with. My journey is my own. Moving on. Last fall, I faced a strange shift in what was otherwise one of the few remaining stable points in my life. I travelled home on vacation for what should have been a very special trip. My parents would meet my mother-in-law for the first time as well as seeing their second grandson in person for the first time. it should have been fantastic but it turned out to be anything but.

Besides the lacklustre outcome of the trip, which included a massive amount of spending to get us there, I was taken aback at how few people made themselves available to us while we were there. While I recognize the selfishness of that statement, it’s usually what happens when I go home. family and friends make time so that we can catch up. This didn’t happen, this time around. In fact, even Sensei somehow managed to skirt seeing me during the time I was there. I left New Brunswick with a feeling of emptiness that I had never experienced before. Although I was disappointed at the time, I think it had an effect on me that’s been lingering over the past months.

For quite a while now, I’ve had no energy or motivation to focus on my fitness or health. Sure, I’ve continued to take my medications, I monitor my blood sugars and keep a close eye on certain things. But I dropped out of karate within two classes of starting back in September. The pressures of work and life seem to have held me down more in recent months than it ever has, before. Losing that consistency and stability back home made me realize that “back home” isn’t back home, anymore. I took a rare opportunity to have some time off over the holidays. Since Christmas and Boxing Day took place over a weekend, I had a four-day weekend starting on December 23rd and I took the remainder of the following week as vacation time.

Since New Year’s Day was also on a weekend, I had yesterday as a day off. All in, I was away on vacation from December 23rd to this morning. That’s almost two weeks that should have allowed me to relax and unwind. Unfortunately, certain elements beyond my control managed to keep some pressure on, despite being on vacation. This morning is my first day back. I have obstacles and issues to deal with that manifested during a time when I shouldn’t have been thinking of work. But at least I got a few mornings of sleeping in. Let’s see how well THIS is going to go… ☯️

Taking Some Time…

I was never much of one to be out until all hours of the night, when I was younger. While most of my counterparts were out at parties, drinking booze and getting into trouble, I was usually in the dojo, studying at home or watching movies and spending time with my dad. Even once I hit my teenage years and got my own car, my time out was reasonably limited of my own accord, often choosing to bid good evening to my friends and head home rather than stay out for the sake of staying out. This didn’t always work out in my favour and may have contributed to my becoming something of a loner or outcast. Que sera…

“I didn’t disappear, I traded;
Nights out for knowledge seeking.
Parties for intimate gatherings.
Chasing money for chasing purpose.
Meaningless work for my passion.
Being busy for protecting time.
Soul extortion for soul searching.
Living for others for living my life.”

– Lewis Howes

I found the quote above some weeks ago and it kind of stuck with. I look back on my time as a youth and I recognize that I wasn’t popular, wasn’t part of any sports teams or major groups and I’m reasonably sure that almost no one that I graduated from school remembers me or gives two shits about where I ended up. But I have no regrets about how I’ve spent my youth. I made some god friends, the best a man could ask for. And ironically, I still have contact with all of them, almost thirty years later. That says something. It tells me I made some good choices that led me to the here and now and I did it while involving people who made a positive impact.

This is what’s important to remember; how you chose to live your life will ultimately impact the person you become. Does that mean that hitting the clubs and being popular automatically make you an asshole? I wouldn’t make THAT generalization but I can confirm that I was never bullied or beaten up by any of the academics in my school. This also says something. The message to any of my young readers, assuming I HAVE young readers, is no matter what you may be dealing with or facing in your life, it’s up to you to forge the path that will lead you to where you need to be. So make sure it’s a positive path. Although some things may gratify you in the moment, the long term is what you should be looking at. Food for thought…☯️

It’s Not Them, It’s You…

It continues to boggle my mind how so many people seem to be of the opinion that they always entitled to certain things. None will argue that we live in the age of the snowflake, with people demanding apologies, special accommodations and everything under the stars, simply because they feel that they’re entitled to it. Nothing could be farther from the truth but the unfortunate reality is that those who understand what hill they choose to die on usually end up rolling over for these individuals.

This is an unfortunate phenomenon that has been going on for years and likely decades. But I’ve never been more aware of it then now. I’ve often see people make poor decisions, purchase things and try to return them without a receipt, demand things of other individuals and even involve themselves in other peoples’ matters that have nothing to do with them. Just Google “entitled” or “Karen” and you can see plenty of examples of this phenomenon. I’m certainly part of the denomination who genuinely feels sorry for all the kindhearted and pleasant people named Karen. I’m not even sure how this name came to be associated with entitlement… Maybe that would do for another post. Moving on…

The concept that the world owes you any damn thing is an inaccurate one and one that will almost always end up making things worse for you. Although the Buddhist side of me believes it’s important not to cause further suffering and that apologizing and making amends are important tools in order to achieve that aspect, one needs to recognize that we are ultimately entitled to nothing and demanding things or wanting apologies and recompense based on principle will not only get you nowhere, it’ll actually lead to further suffering.

I don’t think I have much of a point to make here and maybe I’m just venting. Most of this is simply observation and I recognize that when’s one thing comes up, I have more of a tendency to simply let it go. Not because I’m lazy or don’t feel that I’m entitled to be treated properly but because one needs to choose what hill to die on. Some things just aren’t worth the overall effort. There are more important things in life than trying to prove you’re entitled. Food for thought… ☯️

A Little Shared Chaos…

Being a parent can be challenging on many different levels. For the most part, you’re dealing with a tiny, drunken version of yourself that does stupid shit and has just enough smarts to get into trouble but not enough logic to recognize said trouble to keep from accidentally offing themselves. If you’re lucky, and you put in JUST enough effort, you can potentially guide them to adulthood where they’ll potentially become a productive member of modern society. Yeah, right… I don’t know what my parents actually imagined for me when I was growing up, except to be healthy and happy. I’m not the former (thanks, Type-1 Diabetes) and I’m rarely the latter, despite my best efforts.

Anyway, sometimes it can be easy to forget that as a parent, we’re not alone. Parenting is by far not a new thing and all the issues we deal with are shared by other parents, as well. This reality slapped me in the face on Friday night when my wife and I attempted to visit my son’s school for his class’ Christmas concert. Picture this: dozens and dozens of families, all with several kids and everyone running around, different rooms with different activities and the main “gym” space holding just about enough chairs for one-third of the people in attendance. Throw in a dash of overheating from packing everyone in like sardines and you’ve got a perfect recipe for a PTSD flare-up.

On top of that, is my 3-year boy who neither understands or cares to follow direction and watch his big brother perform instead of trying to tear the school down by its foundation (and he could do it, too!). It made for a rough and chaotic hour and a half for the sake of Nathan singing for about four minutes. He was so happy and proud of his performance and I was a bit surprised at how quiet and well-behaved he was while on stage. Getting both boys back into their boots and heading home was a challenge in and of itself but we made it home relatively unscathed, despite the fact I was emotionally drained and had to crash almost immediately thereafter.

Interestingly enough, I noticed that there were plenty of exasperated parents and noisy, disobedient children. I noticed that all of those families were dealing with the same challenges and problems that i was seeing. Oddly enough, most of them didn’t really seem to give a shit about it all, as much as I did. But it did make me realize that most families deal with children in a public place in ways that I do. Just a little bit of shared chaos… Kids sure as shit make life interesting. ☯️

A Little Break In The Routine…

Last Thursday was a bit of a gong show for me but offered an interesting take on the day. First, my agency had it’s staff Christmas party. Now, I’m sure we’ve all watched sitcoms or comedy movies where they have the sad little get-together in the conference room with dollar-store chips and cardboard hats, taking an hour to “celebrate” before trudging back to their work terminals to finish out the day. This is often reminiscent of the US version of “The Office,” where the manager would frequently throw parties on a whim.

Luckily, my agency chose to go a bit higher class than that. We actually booked a section of a local pool hall, catered in some food and provided the opportunity for staff to obtain extras at their own cost, should they choose. The only caveat is it happened during the afternoon when many staff felt their time would be better served getting work done as opposed to hobnobbing over a pool cue. Although I can somewhat agree with this sentiment, I also feel that one needs to appreciate the opportunity to let one‘‘S hair down for a few hours and chat with co-workers, especially about matters that aren’t work-related.

It was a good time, with good food and good people. The tables shared a lot of laughs and I had the opportunity to shoot a few games of pool with some of my staff, which was a nice change. It also ran for four hours and my team and I basically shut the event down. It was a nice change from the weekly routine, despite the fact that the work continued to accumulate in my absence. Such is life. Whether I would have gone or not, the work would have continued to accumulate, so it makes very little difference in that regard. If the work will always gather, it makes taking these little breaks all the more important.

While navigating the hectic highways of the everyday rat race, we often forget that each of us is an individual person with beliefs, interests and personalities that rarely get explored in the workplace. Staff functions can be a wonderful way to allow people to get to know each other and spend a bit of time on a social level and get to know each other. This can often allow for better and more amicable work relationships on the job. Food for thought…☯️

Just Because You’re Not On The Path Alone, Doesn’t Mean You Surrender The Wheel…

I’ve always found it interesting how it’s often the ones who have no stake, experience or actual knowledge of something that will be the first to comment or question choices that one makes. This is especially true if you have Type-1 Diabetes. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had someone comment on something related to my condition or its treatment without also having it, being a doctor or having some firsthand knowledge of what they’re talking about.

I’ve never had a problem with people who ask questions because they’re genuinely curious or they want to know more about Diabetes. There’s nothing wrong with that and in some instances, it’s an important aspect to my overall health and safety. For example, one of the first things I’ve always done when starting a new job is to let everyone know that I have Type-1 Diabetes and what to do if they find me in a compromising situation because of it. I find this takes the awkwardness out and gives them important information that could potentially save my life.

Ironically and despite anything you may have heard to the contrary, there’s really only two scenarios when dealing with someone with Diabetes who may be experiencing an extreme low or high. If they’re conscious and able to speak, they’ll either administer treatment themselves or let you know what they need. If they’re unconscious, call 911! I know there are some who would say the opposite but you should never try to feed something to an unconscious person. There’s a believe out there that if you give them sugared juice while waiting for an ambulance, they can treat the high rather than the other way around. That’s fuckin’ bullshit! Unless you’re able to test my blood glucose and confirm I’m suffering a low, don’t feed me shit! But that’s just me…

But it can be really hard in general when dealing with people who believe they know better than you. Little quips, such as “Should you really be eating that?” Or “I thought Diabetics couldn’t have sugar…” really grind my gears. And I swear to the light, if I have one more person suggest this book they saw at their local pharmacy that boasts a diet that can reverse Diabetes, my Zen calm will shatter! Although there could be dietary applications for folks with Type-2, that shit just doesn’t apply to me.

in these situations, I’m always reminded of one of my favourite quotes by Theodore Roosevelt, where he says, “It’s not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.” The quote goes on to say that it’s the person in the arena, facing the adversity, who is owed the credit. The same concept can be applied here. Just because you can’t see certain aspects of my condition or even for the aspects you can, I’m the one in the fight. I’m the one in the arena. The critics can check their opinions at the door. ☯️

Merry Whatever And Happy Whatnot…

We’ve kind of reached that time of the year when people start thinking and planning ahead for the Christmas season. This time of year can be pleasant but also quite hectic for some and awkward for many as the prospect of affording gifts for all of our loved ones becomes a concern that lingers well into the new year. For myself, Christmas was never a very celebrated time, Although, my family did trim a tree and place gifts.

My father used to do shift work and whether he’d be home on Christmas or not was always up for question. Given the nature of our household and the fact that my brother and I were both sick children, any holiday season spent outside the hospital was really all we wanted/needed. And believe me when I say, there were Christmases where I spent the holiday lying in a hospital bed. But I digress…

With the coming of the holiday season also comes the opportunity for many to focus on their own agendas. In recent years, saying something classic and genuine like “Merry Christmas” has become a faux pas, considered by many to be offensive to those who don’t celebrate Christmas. This essentially makes zero sense and doesn’t jive with me. Although I inherently have no issue with saying “Happy Holidays,” I don’t believe wishing someone a Merry Christmas should be construed as offensive or insensitive, whether the recipient observes the holiday or not. After all, I don’t celebrate Hanukkah but if someone wished me a Happy Hanukkah during that specific holiday, I would simply say thank you.

This is a trend that seems to permeate and infest the holiday season, with public locations being forced to change directions and in some cases even forego decorating in favour of not “offending” someone. Here’s the reality: people will have different beliefs and faith backgrounds. And that’s okay. All those differences is what makes Canada unique. We are home to a perpetual rainbow of people and cultures. But respecting each of those cultures without taking offence of those we aren’t a part of is key. This is what’s referred to as tolerance.

The holidays are already a busy time and somewhat hectic for people, dealing with work schedules, finances and potentially hosting family. And there is already enough intolerance in the world at the best of times. Let’s be sure this holiday season, to appreciate when someone wishes us well, regardless of what terminology they use. There’s no need to be offended is someone says Merry Christmas. By that same token, there’s also no reason to be offended if someone says something different, or nothing at all, in return. Let’s learnt o be more accepting and tolerant. Just because it’s winter doesn’t mean we need more snowflakes. Food for thought…☯️

Testing One’s Medal…

I think I’ve gone overboard… A couple of years ago, I signed up for an app called the Conqueror Challenges. In short, you pay a marathon entry fee, which is pretty standard when you enter a marathon, and you perform a “virtual marathon,” completed a certain amount of distance in a certain amount NPF time. It’s a neat concept and the money you pay goes to planting trees or cleaning up plastic on the oceans. All in all, it’s pretty neat as a concept.

I started seeing advertisements for this thing on facebook and as I am with all things, I was a bit sceptical. After all, we now live in a world where almost EVERY advertisement for a downloadable game fails to accurately reflect what the actualmy is. For that reason, I sought out the guidance of others. I had a Facebook contact who often shared their link, so I asked him if he’d participated and/or ever received any medals. He said that he hadn’t participated himself but that one of his coworkers had, and he had physically seen the medals.

Alright, I was reasonably certain this wasn’t a scam and could be something worth trying. Considering the total cost was under $40 Canadian, I was willing to risk the loss if it fell through. Considering I’m not a big fan of large crowds and mass public gatherings at the best of times, this suited me perfectly. I downloaded the app and signed up for my first challenge. If memory serves me correctly, it was a “Marathon to Athens” and was 42.2 kilometres in distance and was to be completed over 3 weeks.

The collection… a few are missing, sitting at home.

The beauty part about these challenges is that you get to set your own pace, set your own timeline and you can include any of your fitness workouts that involve distance. Cycling, running, elliptical, even swimming! When I started doing these, I focused primarily on cycling but I started incorporating my walks, as well. Since I was measuring on a daily basis, it became an interesting challenge to see how far I actually walked in the course of a day. On average, I was putting in about 6 to 8 kilometres of walking, just around the office and going on breaks. That didn’t even include going to the grocery store or running errands after work!

When the summer ended this year, I decided to back it off a notch. At about $40 a piece, there’s a whole lotta money sitting on that wall. Plus, my summer was somewhat tame in terms of how much I cycled, compared to last year. That’s why I opened by saying I think I’ve overdone it a bit. But the medals are definitely gorgeous and if you’re looking for something to spice up your fitness routine, this will definitely do it. I don’t have any link to share but if you Google “Conqueror Challenge,” you’ll find it. If you’re an iPhone user, the app is also available through the App Store. ☯️

Across The Finish Line…

November 1st marks the end of “Movember” and my fund-raising efforts have come to an end. Movember was a bit difficult this year, as the team I participated with last year was less motivated this year. This might have resulted from the fact that last year, the team approached me to set it up. This year, I kind of just assumed we were doing it again and threw it at everyone. Not the best way to approach fund-raising but most of them were good enough to donate, although not everyone participated.

Before…

Charitable fund-raising is one of those odd creatures that hold a strange place within modern society. Although the motivation and reasons behind fund-raising are usually noble and altruistic, people will be hesitant to participate and/or donate, especially in light of rising costs on just about everything. It can be difficult for some, as they tend to take it personally when someone they’ve approached doesn’t donate. I was somewhat guilty of this, myself. Although a good number of friends, associates and coworkers provided donations throughout the month, I felt that unnecessary little pang of frustration when some would decline. I needed to learn to let that shit go, which led to a learning lesson as a positive.

After…

Ultimately, we managed to scrape across the finish line and achieved our $500 goal, thanks to some last-minute donations from an associate of mine as well as well as my loving wife. Although last year saw me raise more money, it was no easy task so I should have recognized that it would be a bit more difficult this year, given the current state of the world. But we made it.

I like to do my part. Even when i was younger, I would find a way to donate a couple of hundred dollars to charities or foundations that focused on Diabetes. Given that members of my family have suffered from prostate cancer, Movember landed on my radar doing my time with the Force and I’ve been doing it ever since. It’s good to contribute and help out where we can. But I think that in the years to come, I may make my donation as an individual and leave the team-building to others… ☯️