Category: Health & Well Being

Always An Uphill Battle, Until You Reach The Top…

The daily struggles of life can often catch up with you and it doesn’t take much or very long for it to become overwhelming. Sometimes, we don’t even recognize that there’s a problem until someone is “helpful” enough to point it out. I put the word “helpful” in quotations, because we don’t always want the help or advice that’s provided or feel that it’s warranted. When it’s in your personal life, it can come in the form of unsolicited advice. If it’s in your professional life, it may sometimes come in the form of an obligation as it isn’t exactly ideal to ignore the requests of one’s employer.

But regardless of where the advice or requests are coming from, your day and in fact even your week can quickly get away from you. Time flies, not only when you’re having fun but when you remain consistent and steadfast in what you do. I’m reminded of yesterday, and how I was so immersed in the project I was working on at my job that I was a half hour late into the end of my day before I realized what time it was. I messaged my wife and explained I would be coming home shortly and that I had lost track of time. The bigger joke is that I could have easily kept working without skipping a beat. Tempus fugit, and all that…

I recently described the daily grind of life to someone, and I found the thought came to me, well… without thinking! I explained that life is a little bit like trying to roll a boulder uphill. You already know the boulder is heavy. You already know it’ll be hard. You’re also acutely aware that if you give up and let go, you’ll be crushed under the weight of that boulder; in other words, everything that life will spill on top of you if you let your guard down.

Life in its generalities is very much the same way. We know it can be hard and we know it forces us to carry a weight on our bodies and souls. Such is life. It was never meant to be easy. Without difficulty and challenge, we would finds ourselves unable to grow and prosper. Humanity would never progress in its evolution. But if you give up and let go, there’s a very real chance that life will dump a whole bunch of consequences on you that one typically won’t want to deal with.

All that being said, when one is pushing their boulder up the hill, it’s important to recognize that the only way to reach the top is to remain consistent. It won’t happen by simply giving the boulder one solid shove and hope it reaches the apex. Only through steady and consistent pushing and rolling will you manage to get the boulder to the top. Once on the top, you may find yourself surprised by the fact that it only takes minimal effort to support the boulder and keep it in place.

If we apply this concept to life, you may struggle and have difficulties. But only by staying consistent and steadfast will you overcome your struggles and reach your desired outcome. Once there, you’ll find it’s much easier to sustain and maintain the standard of life you’ve created for yourself. As long as you don’t take the fact that the boulder is at the top for granted, you won’t risk having it roll back down, likely crushing you as it passes. Such as it is, with life.

Last but not least, never forget that the boulder will be easier to push to the top of the hill if someone is helping you do it. Much like sharing the weight of the boulder, the problems of life become easier when faced with someone by your side. As the proverb says, “A problem shared is a problem halved.” And best of all, once you get your boulder to the top, having someone to share the burden means you can even let your guard down, once in a while. And rest from the rigours of life. ☯️

The Unholy Trifecta…

Once you get used to it, the worst part about using Diabetic equipment is changing it out or replacing the disposable aspects. For example, I use three main pieces of Diabetic equipment: my insulin pump, continuous glucose monitor and my glucometer. My pump gets changed out every three days (on average) to prevent issues with crystallization of insulin in the infusion set, leading to improper dosages of insulin. My continuous glucose monitor gets changed out every seven days. I’m uncertain as to the reason for that, although I’m sure there is one. My glucometer simply requires recharging.

Despite the differences in timing, it’s pretty rare that I have to deal with more than one of these items at the same time. But last Saturday morning, I found myself having to deal with all three at once. As near as memory can provide, I don’t believe this has ever happened. It can definitely take the “get-up-and-go” out of your morning; especially if you have to deal with all that equipment and doing the replacements, all at once. Although the replacements don’t take long, combining them all can be a bit more tedious. Much like a sable grain of sand on your back won’t hurt you; but a truckload dropped on you will be harmful.

If you want some idea of how quickly changing out the pumps’s infusion set or the continuous glucose monitoring can be, you can visit my YouTube channel and watch the videos where I demonstrate here.

It started on Friday night when the entire family was outside. I mowed the back lawn and the kids were playing. As I was doing things in the yard, my wife made a point of asking me when my sensor was supposed to expire. I explained to her that I had installed the current one later in the day than I usually do, resulting in calibrations and checks throughout the night. This resulted in a later change than the typical Thursday. She reminded me it was Friday. Shit. I checked my status screen on the pump and sure enough, there it was! There was about an hour and half left to the current sensor.

Since it was almost 8 o’clock in the evening, this would mean changing the sensor (no big deal) followed by a two-hour warm-up period (a bit bigger of a deal) followed by calibrations AT that two-hour mark and again at the four-to-six hour mark. Screw that noise! It was Friday night and I had no intention of being woken up every few hours to test my blood. I decided to do some writing and simply ride out the remaining time on the sensor then shut off auto mode and replace it in the morning. I carried on with my evening and at about 10 o’clock, the sensor expired, so I placed it in its charging dock and went to bed on manual mode.

The following morning, I awoke to an angry buzzing at my hip. It took me a few moments to remember that I was on manual mode and that I shouldn’t be getting alerts. The buzzing as because my insulin reservoir was empty. Well. Shit, again! So now I had to change out my infusion set AND my sensor. My wife was nice enough to help with the sensor replacement, since I put it on my tricep and it’s difficult to see. I then refilled my insulin. Since I had gone about eight hours without nay testing either by blood or sensor, I tested with the glucometer. hence, the “unholy trifecta.”

There’s really no point to today’s post. I just don’t recall it every happening where I had to change up everything and use all my equipment at the same time. And yes, lack of auto mode made a difference, throughout the night. I awoke to a blood sugar level of 12.6 mmol/L instead of my usual window of 6.0 to 6.5 mmol/L. So if nothing else, the experience demonstrated how effective the auto mode on my pump can be. ☯

Something Is Anything More Than Nothing…

A couple of weeks ago, a good friend of mine from back home posted a meme-style poster with Dwayne Johnson’s face shadowed behind the words, on his Facebook timeline. It read, “I want to see what happens if I don’t give up.” My friend shared the post with the caption “A legend will be born, if so.” An interesting but truthful perspective and one that more people should acknowledge. There’s a great deal to be said for pushing on when it feels like you should give up.

His post sent my mind back in time, all the way to 1995. I was a year away from graduating from high school, I had my own car and I spent my weekends playing Star Trek RPG in my buddy’s basement. But I was also training at karate, full time. By full time, I mean I would wake in the morning and do a half hour of forms before school. Then it would either be a karate night or not. We had three classes a week, and not just an hour or an hour and a half; I’m talking two hours of blood, sweat and tears wrung out of us by traditional Okinawa karate. Then we’d usually go 30 minutes over time, asking questions and trying techniques. If it wasn’t a karate night, I’d spend an hour training at home, followed by wandering around town on my bike or running on the beach.

It was a different time of my life and all I did was eat, sleep and breathe karate. I loved it, and it was all that was me. And yet, right around that period in 1995, I hit a slump. I just didn’t seem to have the energy and the get-up-and-go that I usually did. I started to find that I was struggling in class, was always tired and didn’t seem to have any motivation. It all came to a head one night, when we were doing drills involving crescent kicks and I just couldn’t get my damn legs to go fast enough to keep up.

I bowed out, left the class and headed to the locker room where I proceeded to sit on the bench and openly weep into my hands. I felt as though the entire reason for my health and well-being, both mental and physical, was coming to an end and I was powerless to stop it. Was I in a slump because of my Diabetes? I had conditioned myself NEVER to use that as an excuse for not accomplishing something. But the consideration was there. Had I simply peaked and had nothing left to give? My heart said no, but my body and mind didn’t seem inclined to agree.

Sensei was used to having me excuse myself during class, as I would occasionally need to wolf down some fast-acting carbs in order to keep going. But I had been gone for much longer than usual, which was enough to have him come check on me. I was still sobbing when he walked in, which in and of itself was embarrassing enough. But when I explained why I was upset and how I felt that maybe it was time to give up and call it a day, he sat next to me and fed me the words that were burned into my memory and that I’ve carried with me, ever since:

SENSEI: “Want to know what happens if you give up?”
ME: “What?”
SENSEI: “Nothing. Nothing happens. And nothing is always worse than anything. So keep going, even when it hurts, even when it’s hard and even when it feels like you aren’t moving forward.”

Even now, almost thirty years after he spoke those words to me, it gives me chills and makes my eyes well up. I turned a corner after that night. My energy and motivation came back and I found myself renewed. Maybe I just needed the encouragement. We all need a little pep talk sometimes.

That brings me to my point. I may not be your Sensei. And I don’t know who may need to hear this. But you matter. And no matter how slow you move, you’re still getting farther ahead than the person who’s standing still. Don’t give up. Don’t EVER give up. Even when things seem hard or impossible, you can always make some headway, as long as you’re willing to fight. And I believe you can.

Anytime I’m reminded of that night, I feel a pang of guilt at how close I came to walking away from such a huge part of my life. And I know others who have. Where would I be today, without my martial training? I would definitely not be the same person. But I can’t help but feel that I would also be potentially worse off, health-wise. Karate has done far more for me than simply teaching me to defend myself.

A huge shout-out to my friend Ricky for this post. Unintended consequences, brother. Even when you don’t mean to, one’s actions can have them and this post is a prime example. And despite the importance of this story, I should provide some levity and tell you how that night played out. It ended with Sensei clapping me on the shoulder (nearly hard enough to dislocate it) followed by the words, “Now get the fuck back upstairs and back to training or you’ll owe me a hundred knuckle push-ups!” And I did. Go back upstairs, not owe him the push-ups…. ☯️

A Lighter Update…

Sometimes I forget that this is a blog and I can write posts without getting too “in-depth” on the topics I cover, or writing ad nauseam to the point where readers will lose interest halfway and stop reading. But that’s me…. I have a tendency to ramble, even when it’s in written form. Just look at right now…. Instead of getting to the point of my post, I’m rambling about NOT getting to the point of my post. But I digress…

I recently wrote about a change in diet where I started to reduce the amount of carbohydrates that I consume. I haven’t been trying to eliminate them, mind you. That would be bad. Carbohydrates are the body’s source of fuel, and trying to eliminate them completely can have some detrimental effects on the body. But in an effort to spur along some weight-loss efforts on my part, I’ve made some gentle changes to my overall diet.

For the most part, I’m not the worst eater in the world. Hell, I’m not even the worst eater in the circle of people that I know. I’m aware of some people that I know that eat like a trash can (their words, not mine) and consume pretty much whatever they want. While some people may have the metabolism to do that and still look stunning, I do not. And I recently took stock of my body, age, weight and overall health and I recognized that I ain’t getting any younger and change to the body becomes harder as you age, for a variety of reasons.

I’m by no means obese. I don’t believe I’m even overweight, insofar as I can tell but I’m no doctor. But I have developed a rather significant case of “dad bod” in the past couple of years, which I attribute to a combination of stress from recent events combined with good ol’ COVID-19. But those excuses will only stand on their own for so long, especially for someone who doesn’t believe in excuses. So, what have I been doing? Well, let me share that with you…

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve cut down on the total amount of carbohydrates that I consume in the course of a day. This has been pretty easy to do and is actually far simpler than people think. When someone tells you, “Cut down on carbs” it suddenly feels like you may starve. After all, what is one to do without potatoes, bread and snack foods on the weekends? They key word here is “reduce,” not eliminate.

My mornings start with caffeine. I think that should be obvious and if it’s not, you don’t know me at all and haven’t been reading my blog for long. Breakfast, whenI have time to consume one, will usually consist of eggs and/or bacon and on the rare occasion, an English muffin that weighs in at about 10 grams of carbs. Any or all of those individual components will do. I typically ensure my lunch, which is eaten at work is entirely carb-free. This is the main area where I make up the difference. It will include a lean protein, such as chicken, as well as some salad and perhaps cheese and a handful of nuts. I’ve recently taken to enjoying the occasional small cup of yogurt for it’s benefits, as well.

Do nuts have carbs? Why, yes! Yes, they do! But they happen to be filled with a bunch of shit that’s good for you, like the healthy fats, vitamins and minerals. And 100 grams of mixed nuts comes in at only about 20 grams of carbs, so I limit myself to an extremely small clutch of them, usually pecans. They’re excellent for adding some crunch to your salad or just eating them on their own. If I DON’T include a few nuts (and I don’t mean my coworkers) then my lunch is typically carb-free. Even if I do, I’m looking at 30 grams of carbs to my day, thus far. Not so bad when you consider that I would typically consume more than that in a single meal before I started limiting my total intake. Hell, the average sandwich will come in at about 30 grams of carbs when one considers the two slices of bread.

At supper, I will allow myself to indulge in whatever meal my lovely wife has prepared, carbs or not. That being said, I’ll limit my portion. So if there are mashed potatoes, I’ll have half the scoop I usually would. Same for pastas, rice or noodle dishes. But dinner is usually where I will allow the MOST carbs of my three meals, bearing in mind that one needs fuel to keep going. Last but not least, I’ve all but eliminated evening snacking. This doesn’t mean I won’t allow myself to indulge during movie nights on the weekend or there won’t be the occasional exception if hunger strikes. But I for the most part, I’ve eliminated snacking, which most people should do since eating late at night is horrible for your body.

So, have there been any results? I’m glad you asked that question (if you’re still reading by this point) because there have! I’ve been at this “mild” change for approximately a month, now. I started out at just below 220 pounds. That’s right, folks! It ain’t ALL muscle…. My wife and I recently bought a new scale and my habit has been to wake in the morning, deal with my morning ablutions (look that up, if you don’t know what it is!) remove my pump and step on the scale.

As of last week, I was down to about 210-213 pounds. Okay, okay, not so bad…. I’m burning some off…. Two days ago, I decided I was hungry enough and my wife had made some shredded chicken, so I made a plate of nachos. I was in the linen closet for something and decided to step on the scale, just for the hell of it. Lo and behold, I was down to 203 pounds! Without removing my pump and cell phone. After a full plate of nachos. I’m considering that I may have been even a pound lighter.

This post ran on for far longer than I expected. If you’ve read all the way to this point, the lesson here is that a small change can make a noticeable difference. And since the warmer weather has kicked in, I’ve started to include some 10k bike rides and outside workouts, which have no doubt helped. Will I ever get back to my 165-pound weight I had after basic training? I’m willing to say not a chance in hell. Besides, I have more muscle mass now than I did, back then. Yes, I’m bragging. But it’s truthful bragging. But to be able to break that 200-pound threshold and maintain it, is my goal.

Last but not least, it’s been a lot smoother on my blood sugars. Less carbohydrates mean less insulin bolusing, less miscalculations on how many grams of carbs I’m actually consuming and less high’s and low’s. So much so, that my pump consistently asks for added BG readings because it hasn’t had to micro-bolus as much. Better blood sugars mean better overall A1C’s and better overall health. I’m not going hungry, I allow the occasional indulgence and I’m losing weight and getting healthier. It’s a win-win. As with all things, even if this works for me, it may not work for you. Be sure to consult your doctor or a dietitian before making any serious change in diet or lifestyle.☯️

Couples Who Sweat Together, Complain About The pain Together

One of the more pleasant aspects of working out is being able to enjoy a solid workout with your significant other. I don’t get to enjoy that pleasure often, as between work, the kids and other obligations, we never seem to sync up with the times when we individually work out. My wife has taken to using a program called T25. They’re fantastic circuit workouts that only last… you guessed it! 25 minutes! She usually does these workouts during the morning when I’m at work while the baby naps.

My habit is to slip in some quick 30-minute workouts of varying types during the evening, when I’ve gotten home from work. I either hit the bag, do some weights or get on the bike. I’ve started hammering out some 10k runs on the bike, which is nice. Considering I was hitting the 60 and 70 kilometre distances last summer, it’s about time I started building that endurance back up. Especially after the harsh winter I just endured.

We’ve been talking about having some workouts together for weeks, now. It just rarely works out. But as I always say, if it’s important, you make the time. So, on Sunday we decided to hammer out a workout. I wanted to try one of the circuit workouts she’s been doing and she agreed to find one that would include dumbbells so we could get some weight work in. Considering I’ve done Meta-Shred, which is one of those 30-minute circuit routines as well, I figured it would be reasonable.

It. Was. Brutal. There we were, each doing our own thing, but doing it in tandem. We were both struggling, but getting through it at our own pace. By the time the workout timer ended I was sprawled on the floor, covered in sweat. My wife was blasted as well. It was loads of fun and it was something we were able to do together. Spending time together can be such a simple thing and it can be made all the more special by working on each other’s health together. Even with the busy schedule of life, one should always make time to share interests with one’s significant other. After all, couples who sweat together, complain about the pain together. ☯

When The Pressure Builds

Yesterday, I wrote a post about some of the medications that I’ve been prescribed. These medications started out as preventative, but as the years passed, it became apparent that they were no longer “preventative” and were playing an active support role in my overall health. One of those medications plays a role in helping to control high blood pressure. When people hears “Diabetes,” they don’t automatically think of high blood pressure. But as it turns out, it can be one of those inevitable side effects that eventually catch up to anyone with Diabetes, controlled or not.

it’s no secret that Diabetes damages the body’s blood vessels and causes atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries). That hardening will eventually cause an increase in blood pressure, which is where the problems start. High blood pressure can lead to heart attack and renal failure as well as problems with circulation. An increase in blood pressure can also lead to various eye complications related to Diabetes.

According to a post by WebMD, “most people with Diabetes should have a blood pressure of no more than 130/80.” Although I can admit that my blood pressure is usually spot on or close to that (when it gets tested), I’m sure there are days when it ain’t so great. The article goes on to explain that good blood pressure control can be almost as important as proper blood sugar control.

One of the big problems is that unlike a lot of other complications, a person can run for quite a long period of time without ever knowing they have high blood pressure. This is why it’s important to test your blood pressure regularly. You can purchase your own blood pressure cuff at your local pharmacy for a reasonably low price. They usually run from anywhere in the low $20 all the way up to well over $100, depending on how fancy you want to get. Personally, my blood pressure cuff is about as old fashioned as you can get, without having the old style that also requires a stethoscope. It’s a simple arm cuff connected to a pneumatic tube, which runs into a reader that takes “AA” batteries.

There are a number of things, some obvious and some not, that you can do to help improve your blood pressure. Regular exercise and proper blood sugar monitoring and control are the common ones, of course. But a healthier diet, quit smoking, drinking alcohol and limiting your intake of salt are also important to maintaining good blood pressure. Your endocrinologist will usually smack your fingers if you allow your blood pressure to run rampant.

If you happen to fall under the category of folks who can’t afford or don’t want to pay for a personal blood pressure cuff, you can visit your local pharmacy or big box retail store. They usually have a publicly-available blood pressure machine that you can use. Moderation on some of the more common bad habits as well as healthy diet and exercise are key. Don’t let high blood pressure be your undoing. ☯

Don’t Be A Pill

I can be a bit of a stubborn bastard at the best of times, which comes from a lifetime of having every adult around me dying to tell me how to eat, how to sleep, what medications to take and when to take them. As a child, I would often be resentful of having to wake up on the weekends to take insulin injections, to the point where my mother started getting into the habit of simply yanking down my pyjama bottom and injecting me in the buttock as she felt it simply wasn’t worth the fight. I’ve obviously gotten better as I’ve gotten older, but kids don’t usually understand the NECESSITY of the medication they may be on, and I was no exception.

In 2009, I faced a new aspect to my Diabetes therapy. I had just moved to Saskatchewan and got myself a new doctor. After a couple of appointments to “get to know each other,” he introduced something that I had promised I would never allow: pills. Don’t get me wrong; I have nothing against pills. They’re necessary, required and important. So long as they’re used for their intended purpose, that is. But I grew up watching my brother ingest dozen different pills, first thing in the morning and again around dinner time. And we all know how THAT ended as he passed away in 1991.

When it was suggested, I firmly told the doctor that I had no need or use for pills and that I had no intention starting on them. He then asked me if I took a multi-vitamin. Yes, I did. He was quick to point out that multi-vitamins were pills and I was voluntarily taking those, so why would I object to the ones he was proposing? Mostly, it was because I didn’t know what the pills he was suggesting did, so there was a fear of the unknown. This is where he actually took the time to explain the medications in detail and what they would be for, which if you’re even mildly familiar with doctors in recent years, they aren’t big fans of taking extra time when you visit.

Once they were explained, I learned that I would be taking a medication call “rosuvastain,” more commonly known as Crestor. This one helps prevent raising cholesterol. Not a problem I’ve ever know to have, but okay. The other one is Ramipril, which is commonly-used to treat high blood pressure and renal failure in folks with Diabetes. The explanation made sense until he the doctor pointed out that these were “preventative” measures… What the fuck?! So, I’m basically starting to take pills I don’t need? That’s like getting open-heart surgery IN CASE you eventually have heart disease…

I know, I was a little over-dramatic and it’s not really comparable, but what would think about starting to take medications you don’t need? Although renal issues are a recognized side effect of Diabetes, it seemed odd to me to take medication for it when, by all accounts, my kidneys were clear. Alright, he’s the doctor and I’m the patient, so I trusted him and accepted the prescription. I’ve been taking those two medications as part of my Diabetes therapy, ever since.

Flash forward to over ten years later. I’m still on both medications AND as of last year’s endocrinologist’s appointment, both medications have been increase to satisfy the demand of my body’s condition. In fact, during my last appointment with my endocrinologist, which was las February, tests showed that my kidneys showed some mild level of struggle, meaning that the medication was providing some active support. It kind of makes me wonder where I’d be at and how far gone I would be if I hadn’t accepted these “preventative” therapies.

I guess my point here today, is that it can be extremely important to take ownership of one’s health and be clear and understanding about what’s being put into one’s body. By the same token, preventative medicine can be an effective way of putting off some of the difficulties that one may face when dealing with Type-1 Diabetes. Although it can be difficult to take it on faith when it comes to taking pills, well-trained doctors will often be able to identify the need for such prevention early on, where the patient may miss it or be unaware. Food for thought…

A Jab In The Arm…💉

I need to start this post by premising the fact that I’m not a doctor, I’m not a health specialist nor do I have any formal medical training. What I do have is a lifetime of knowledge and skills accumulated through trial and error. And if you read that sentence in Liam Neeson’s voice from “Taken,” I applaud your imagination because that’s what I did as I wrote it. But I digress… You know that if I’m starting my post with a disclaimer, it’ll be something special. But what’s more is, this will be strictly my opinion and should be digested as such. What I want to talk about today is vaccination… (ducks and covers head, realizes no stones are being thrown and gets back up) Alrighty then, here we go!

There’s a significant amount of controversy surrounding the COVID-19 vaccine. And with good reason. With the internet making the world’s news and information literally available at one’s fingertips, everyone researches and “investigates” just about everything in their daily lives before making any sort of a decision. And what’s worse, people have a tendency to suddenly turn into armchair warriors that have a loud and prominent (and oftentimes annoying) voice that would generally be silent if they had to face people in person. And that’s a problem, because these folks are contributing to the dissemination of misinformation, which is often from sources that are offering opinion based on their own experiences and not necessarily hard science.

This is one of the reasons why I take pains to cite my sources when I can and otherwise only speak to my own experiences as they relate to the content I write. But this line in the sand with the COVID-19 vaccines is something special. Given the state of the world and the situation we face, the majority of governments have made it clear that they want a certain percentage of the population to be vaccinated against COVID-19 before lifting all restrictions and allowing the return to some semblance of normalcy. At least, that’s the state of things in Canada. I can’t speak for what may be happening in other countries. Personally, I’m of the opinion that the pandemic has irrevocably changed us all. The world may never go back to what it once was. Between the acknowledgment that many if not most jobs can be performed from home, people suddenly shifting gears in their lives and changing careers, leaving their spouses and all around deciding to live it up as there’ only one life to live (according to them), the world has changed in a way that may never go back to what it previously was.

And that’s fine. Moving forward is the only way to go in life, and is important if one intends on accomplishing anything. But the choice whether to get vaccinated or not is a personal one. For example, I’ve been getting the flu shot for over ten years. Having Type-1 Diabetes means my immune system is rocky at the best of times, so it’s a smart move for me. So, here are some thoughts on the flu vaccine…. If I don’t take it, I can POTENTIALLY get sick. That illness can POTENTIALLY be fatal to me. If I catch the flu, I can without a doubt transmit it to others, who may face the same consequences as I do. People have died from taking this vaccine and others. It all depends on a person’s specific body, biology and overall health. The flu vaccine is not a GUARANTEE that I won’t get the flu; it simply helps my body to create the antibodies that will help to overcome the flu, should I catch it.

Sound familiar? It probably should, because this is all the same shit that applies to the COVID-19 vaccine. It doesn’t GUARANTEE that you won’t catch it; it simply prompts your body’s defences against the virus if you get it. Yes, there are people who have died AFTER taking the vaccine. The question as to whether it was a direct result of the vaccine or not is debatable. It’s right up there with number of deaths due to COVID-19 being argued and disputed because some of the deceased had a pre-existing condition. The internet went nuts when the Provinces were calculating and gathering their numbers, claiming that they were using death due to heart conditions, cancer and other ailments as an umbrella to claim it was COVID-19.

But I’m getting WAY off topic, here. My point with today’s post is that there has already been a shift or a societal trend, where people are beginning to ask the question; “Did you get vaccinated?” Honestly, when you get right down to it, this is almost akin to asking about ANY private, medical history. There are issues arising where employers are starting to test the waters in regards to requiring people to be vaccinated and asking about it. All of that is private information. If someone WANTS to share the fact they’ve gotten vaccinated, good for them. But people honestly shouldn’t be asking others. The other issue is the CHOICE to get vaccinated. I know plenty of people who choose not to get vaccinated against the flu. But you won’t see them posting every five minutes about how the flu vaccine isn’t guaranteed, how it’s ineffective and how it can potentially kill. But this is true of any and every vaccine. One needs to make the personal choice between choosing one path over the other. For myself, contracting COVID-19 will almost assuredly end my life. Taking the vaccine has an infinitesimal chance of being lethal to the person who takes it. So ultimately, I had to make the choice…. Go with the thing that is likely certain to kill me, or the thing that almost impossibly but could possibly kill me.

All life is choice. We choose to get up in the morning, face life and deal with the issues of the day. The big secret is that most of those choices should be kept to oneself. If you choose to get vaccinated and want to let people know because it’s something you’re proud of having chosen, fantastic. If you choose NOT to get vaccinated and want to let people know because it’s ALSO something you’re proud of having chosen, good for you. But the propaganda and misinformation should be kept out of it. Make your choice, stand by it and move on. An import aspect to consider is that since most governments require we reach a certain vaccinated level before re-opening society, some may say that refusing to get vaccinated is contributing to the problem as opposed to proposing a solution.

As I said in the beginning, this is simply and strictly an opinion. I believe in having the choice. There are a lot of aspects of the pandemic that I feel could have been done differently, perhaps even better. But as I also mentioned, I’m not a doctor. And if we stop trusting the professionals, we may as well ditch society as a whole and just go live off-grid in a cabin in the woods. Granted, some weeks that feels like the ideal solution. All I can do is make the best informed decision for me and my family and stick to it. At the end, that’s pretty much all anyone can do. ☯️

Revenge Is A Dish Best Served At Someone Else’s Buffet…

It’s no secret that I’ve been through quite a bit in the past three years. I always say that life doesn’t care about one’s plan, and I often say this because you can be prepared, trained and ready for any obstacle or issue that you may encounter and still fail. When I look at the course of my own life, I acknowledge that no matter how prepared I was, I certainly wasn’t ready for the nightmarish few years that were to follow. I can honestly say that the issues I overcame (and I DID overcome them!) shook my existence to its very core and threatened the nature of who I was and how I lived my life. Often, I wanted to blame other parties for these difficulties. And make no mistake; there was certainly and undoubtedly blame to be placed on the other person.

When facing any issue or problem in life, it’s important to remember that the cause or the “blame,” if you will, can be attributed to three involved parties. The first is the other person. This is obvious, but actions, words and/or choices made by the other person will certainly be a root cause of any problem you’re facing. The next aspect is fate. I use that term quite loosely and a better word honestly eludes me, at the moment. But it’s important to always remember that some elements of life are out of your control. Most people get angry and try to fix things when fate intervenes, but there isn’t much you can do about it. No sense getting angry at the rain for getting you wet!

The last involved party and the most important, is yourself. It is the height of ignorance to assume, on any occasion, that you have no involvement or responsibility for the problems you face. If we take a simple example, such as being late for work, it may have happened due to traffic, a passing train holding you up or some other factor. But one still needs to recognize their familiarity with the route, traffic and potential delays as well as taking responsibility for the time you left your home. This is a pretty simplistic example, but it goes to show that no matter what the situation, you also hold some responsibility for it. This is usually a hard pill to swallow for most people, as most prefer to place blame on the other individual. Whether this is because they feel better thinking they’re excused from blame or because they want a target to focus their anger is beyond me.

Once you’ve acknowledged that there is SOME self-blame involved and that some of it is out of your control, knowing who else may be responsible will often become irrelevant. And just to be clear folks, I’m not referring to an intentional, criminal act on someone else’s behalf! There is absolutely no reason for one person to commit a crime against another. But this doesn’t prevent some people from using their words, actions or choices in such a way that it causes you problems. The bottom line, whether you buy into this rhetoric or not, is that when people face/overcome any problems in life that involve another party, it usually prompts a comment that always makes me take pause: “Karma will get them!”

Karma has different meanings and connotations, depending on the religious background you follow or are familiar with. In most instances, it describes making your next life better by ensuring the sum of your actions in the current life are positive. Even if you don’t subscribe to the concept of reincarnation, karma can be considered something of a spiritual cause and effect. If you do good, good will happen and vice versa. The problem comes in when people start believing that karma is an instrument of vengeance or revenge. I have some news for you, folks. That’s not how karma works.

There are a lot of reasons why I SHOULD be angry and pissed off against the person responsible for all the grief in my life over the past few years. And despite the responsibility I accept for these issues, the person involved had no right and no reason to cause me difficulty. I have every confidence that karma will eventually catch up to this person. After all, do bad and bad things will happen, as well. But the important thing, which allows me to move on and maintain my sanity, is being able to let it go and walk away. I I were to sit and watch for this person to step off a cliff, that would make me no better and likely worse, than this person was to begin with.

I’ve had a number of people share their thoughts that I should pursue this person, sue them or take some sort of responsive action against this person. Karma is self-regulating and I am not its instrument. At least, I never KNOWINGLY am. And that’s where people need to understand the significant difference between karma and revenge. Revenge involves direct action on a person’s behalf, does nothing to fix what has happened and will only contribute to the suffering of the world. Karma eventually catches up and happens independently, with no vengeful agenda behind it.

Don’t even get me started on suing someone. I absolutely abhor the prospect of suing someone. That’s just a personal perspective, but that always seems to be everyone’s go-to, nowadays. “Oh, I’m gonna sue them…” There’s a time and place for that kind of thing and is meant to be recuperative, not punitive. And one also needs to recognize the inherent difference between “revenge” and “justice.” One has nothing to do with the other. Will karma get them in the end? I always tend to believe so. But I’ll draw no pleasure from it and it’s important not to halt one’s life to see it happen. Food for thought… ☯️

In The Absinthe of Good Sense… (A Long Read)

In some respect, I was kind of what some would call a “late bloomer.” I never had a rebellious phase, never got brought home by the police and contrary to the majority of my age group back home, I didn’t spent my teen years partying and drinking alcohol. In fact, I only drank my first beer at the age of 23 when I was training in Okinawa. And during those first few tastes of golden, alcoholic bliss, I was hanging out in a climate that required my body to retain every single drop of fluid I was taking in, which meant I was pretty much drinking beer AND water with impunity. That first little while saw me drinking with little to no after effects (other than raised blood sugars from the occasional high carbohydrate beer) and never a hangover.

Because of that fact, I thought I was somewhat invulnerable to the effects of alcohol. At least where hangovers were concerned. I didn’t learn my lesson until about six months AFTER my return from Okinawa where, on my way to a friend’s party, I couldn’t decide between two brands of beer, and bought a 6-pack of both. And then consumed them all. In one evening. Within about three hours. Ironically, I remember my evening quite clearly and it was a lot of fun. No worries or concerns, really. But the physical pain I was in the following morning taught me the error of my ways and why I should never drink with such impunity again.

I woke up soaked in what I hoped to Light was sweat, and my body sending out warning signals of varying sorts. My blood sugars were through the roof and my bowels and stomach were having an extremely loud argument over who had the right to kick out their unwanted guests first. I decided that my parched and swollen tongue required some water before giving attention to anything else. The water aggravated my stomach further, causing me to rush to the washroom where I managed to sit on the toilet while simultaneously testing my ability to aim by unceremoniously throwing up into the sink next to me.

It was like there was a party in my mouth and everyone was throwing up. I walked away having learned an extremely valuable lesson about alcohol, after that night. Despite being in my early 20’s, it would prove to be only one of two or three times in my life (so far) that I would actually get drunk. Putting aside the story of the staff party where I don’t remember being dropped off at home, the recollection of the third and last instance where I got truly drunk is the topic of today’s post. It involves an unplanned road trip coupled with a legendary and often-feared drink: absinthe.

Because of the first two instances of getting drunk, I had a strict “no getting drunk” policy, which involved never drinking anywhere but the comfort of my own home as well as never drinking enough to go beyond the enjoyment of simple libations and the flavour of whatever I may have been consuming at the moment. That isn’t to say that I don’t have the occasional beer when out at a restaurant or bar with friends. Far from it. But as a personal policy, I never allow myself to drink to excess. I think this is an important self-policy and should be followed by everyone. But my third and last time of getting drunk hammered it home for me. Here’s what happened…

Sometime between my return from Okinawa in 2001 and moving to Ottawa in 2007, I had a friend who lived in Fredericton, New Brunswick. The capital city of New Brunswick, it sits near the south-west corner of the Province and is about four hours away from where I was living at the time. My friend had moved there some years’ prior and had an apartment on the south side of the river. Although some locals may argue this point, the south side is where it’s at. It has the university, the shopping, the coffee shops and the bars. It also has the best comic shops.

Since I had a lull in my career, I found myself between jobs and had recently become single (unrelated) so I decided to pay my friend a visit. I haven’t spoken to him about retelling this, so for the purposes of this story I’ll simply call him “Treats.” If he reads this, he’ll be the only one who knows this involves him. I swear on my right hook that this is how the night went down, but his recollection may be different. I’ll let y’all know if he ends up reading this and reaching out to me. But I left early in the morning and arrived at Treats’ apartment around lunchtime. This worked out well, since we decided to go have brunch at one of my favourite breakfast restaurants called “Cora’s.” Although it’s nothing special beyond the fact they serve fresh fruit with every dish, one of our mutual friends also work there.

Treats had managed to gather a small group of mutual and new acquaintances to join us for breakfast, which included Treats’ brother and made for a pleasant, social outing. That’s right; I can be social. After an uneventful afternoon of coffee shops, comic book stores and good conversation, we discussed what we would be doing for dinner and with our evening. This is where things began to slowly roll downhill. Innocently enough, we decided on a local pub where we could indulge on a dose of unnecessary calories while having a few drinks. Once again, we had a few people with us but everyone kind of melted away as the evening progressed. A combination of university, work and the fact it was a week night made for a quiet party.

We got bored and didn’t want to spend a fortune on every beer we got, so we stopped by a local liquor store and got a case of beer for the apartment. We decided to binge watch some Family Guy. This was before Netflix was the big thing, and Treats actually had all the current seasons on DVD, so we watched and giggled like drunken school girls until we watched a scene involving Peter Griffin and the giant chicken. This prompted a heated discussion about fighting and martial arts, as I had been training in karate and he had apparently been doing kickboxing for quite some time. We already had quite a few drinks and despite being heated, it was nothing but conversational until Treats spoke the words that would change the tonality of the evening: “We should do a shot of absinthe…”

Folks, absinthe gets a reasonably bad rap. There was a this misconception that it had hallucinogenic properties and was mostly banned in North America, as a result. This concept has been mainly disproven in the past twenty years, and you can now buy the stuff at most liquor stores. Its no more dangerous than consuming any other spirit. Treats had brought over bottle from his travels in Europe over the previous couple of years and wanted me to experience the stuff, since I had never tried it. On the flip side, this shit is about 150 proof and is meant to be consumed by sprinkling sugar over ice and combining the absinthe with water. Treats took out two shot glasses and poured straight from the bottle. Asshole.

We were already drunk and bearing in mind that both of us had likely consumed close to a 12-pack each, albeit over the course of several hours, I wasn’t keen on the prospect of downing a shot. My previous experience with spirits hadn’t ended well. But I figured, what the hell was the worst that could happen? We were in the relative safety of Treats’ apartment and weren’t planning on going anywhere. Famous last words…

I take an experimental sniff of the greenish liquid and compared it to a bad combination of surgical-grade antiseptic mixed with antifreeze. I watch Treats throw his head back and down his shot. Suddenly, my self-confidence is shaken since Treats is about half my size and weight and he’s drank as much beer as I had. I do my best not to be a prideful person, but booze makes all the smart thoughts go, “Fuck it, I’m outta here!” So, like a true drunken idiot, I also throw back my shot and down it in one gulp.

It almost felt as though my entire body went into panic mode as every molecule in my esophagus was suddenly screaming at me and asking why I had brought this unwanted guest to the party. My stomach responded in kind, akin to a bouncer trying to tell someone they weren’t on the list and didn’t belong in the club and to get out of there. My stomach threatened to reverse impulse engines and expel right there in Treats’ kitchen. Sharp beads of sweat break out on my forehead and my knees buckle as I get dizzy, wondering what the hell I just did to myself.

Treats is laughing at me, mostly because he’s drunk and he sees me swaying in place but also because half the absinthe bottle was empty. This meant it wasn’t his first rodeo and he intentionally wanted to see what effect it would have on me. This makes me indignant and I consider this a slight against me the likes of which karma needed to correct. Once my momentary weakness passes, I decided it would be a good idea to test my blood sugars. This is a true testament to my muscle memory and control over Diabetes. Most people would have put that shit on the back burner.

When I come out of the guest room, Treats is back on the couch and has continued to watch Family Guy without me. This makes me morose as I sit in silence and begin to watch with him, having missed a portion of the episode. Somehow the conversation returns to our respective fighting styles and becomes more argumentative over the value of certain methods and techniques. I pride myself on being open to others’ interpretation. But as I mentioned earlier, drunk Shawn has a much different perspective. I berate and belittle his perspective. This makes him openly angry. Absinthe has joined the argument!

Treats finally decides he needs to demonstrate the effectiveness of his kickboxing prowess and invites me to spar in his entryway. We’re talking a less than ten-foot by ten-foot space inside an upper floor apartment. I start picturing Jean-Claude Van Damme’s drunken fight scene in Kickboxer and decide that this is a fantastic idea. We move his dining table slightly and square off. I can only imagine how ridiculous we must have looked; two grown-ass men, drunk beyond reason on beer and absinthe, planning to “spar.” I use the quotation marks because of what was to come next…

He starts with a couple of simple jabs. He’s using the typical boxer’s stance that I despise; his guard is firmly against the side of his head as he delivers his jabs. I block the first one. Then I block the second one. I begin to realize that my excessive martial arts training allows me to operate almost on instinct and I stop TRYING to block and simply let the blocks happen. I am in the zone. He delivers a couple more jabs and punches without any success. Although my guard is still up, I start laughing. And that’s when it happened.

Because of my drunken stupor, my laugh involved my eyes squinting shut. This is not a good thing during a fight. His next straight jab catches me right in the face. My eyes were no longer closed, let me tell you! I look at him in shock and surprise and try to deliver a jab of my own. As I do, he suddenly remembers the “kick” aspect of his art and delivers a firm, roundhouse kick to my right ribs; right underneath the arm I was jabbing with. I fold over on the injured side, which opens up the left side of my face. BAM! He delivers a right hook to the left side of my face.

The hook jars something loose as a flood of all the times I had been bullied and beaten up in school came flooding to the surface (Yes, I was bullied in school! One story at a time, people!). I was drunk on more alcohol than I should have consumed and my inner filters and controls melted away by Mr. Absinthe, and I saw red. I threw a quick rounded punch into Treats’ gut. He grunts. I am displeased at his lack of folding over, so I deliver a front kick to his solar plexus. As he doubles over, he guards the left side of his face. Since his fist is firmly against his head, I strike and it’s as though the fist isn’t even there. I bring a knee up into his abdomen and back kick him into his living room, sending his sprawling over the coffee table.

Maybe I should have mentioned that his girlfriend was also there at the time. Did I mention his girlfriend was sleeping there, at the time? She got up and was not impressed. We were both battered and bruised, with fine rivulets of blood at our nose, mouth or both. Everything had happened over the course of about five minutes. She used a rather matronly voice to “suggest” that we quit our bullshitting or she’d get “involved.” This this day, I don’t know what she meant. I didn’t want to know then, and I don’t want to know now. We watched a couple more episodes and the mood lightened significantly. Probably because we had drained out all of our testosterone in those few moments. Who knows?

I awoke the next morning and staggered my way to the washroom. The left side of my face had some mild swelling and it hurt to move my rib cage. I stepped out into the kitchen and found Treats seated at the table. He offered me coffee, which I gladly accepted and then grinned devilishly while making some off-the-cuff comment about how I couldn’t handle my booze. I left it alone. I didn’t know how much he remembered from the previous night, but I have the significant advantage (or disadvantage) of always retaining full memory of what I’d done despite the alcohol.

We decided to have a second round of brunch at Cora’s before I got back on the road to home. I had a reasonably low after-effect and little to no hangover, considering the amount of alcohol AND the strikes to the head. We chatted, we laughed and I got back on the road having thoroughly enjoyed my time with Treats. Good times and good memories. It would prove to be the last time I would ever consume that much alcohol of any type, and one of the last time I ever went beyond “tipsy.” Even though I didn’t have a rambunctious youth, I recognized that my capacity for violence when inebriated was significant. And I didn’t want to ever chance inadvertently bringing harm to someone.

So there you have it! A little insight on lesser moments in my 20’s. I definitely wasn’t proud of how I was that night. Anymore than I was of the other two instances when I allowed myself to drink outside the home. But this is why I make a point never to consume to intoxication. And for the most part, I never drink outside my home. My personal and professional life have taught me that there’s too much room for error. To this day, I enjoy my wine. I also enjoy beer much the same way many folks do: cold and while barbecuing. But sometimes we need to learn about moderation the hard way. Maybe some of you will see my story as a way to learn that lesson. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll need a couple of hits to the head, like I did. ☯