It’s no secret that I’ve been through quite a bit in the past three years. I always say that life doesn’t care about one’s plan, and I often say this because you can be prepared, trained and ready for any obstacle or issue that you may encounter and still fail. When I look at the course of my own life, I acknowledge that no matter how prepared I was, I certainly wasn’t ready for the nightmarish few years that were to follow. I can honestly say that the issues I overcame (and I DID overcome them!) shook my existence to its very core and threatened the nature of who I was and how I lived my life. Often, I wanted to blame other parties for these difficulties. And make no mistake; there was certainly and undoubtedly blame to be placed on the other person.
When facing any issue or problem in life, it’s important to remember that the cause or the “blame,” if you will, can be attributed to three involved parties. The first is the other person. This is obvious, but actions, words and/or choices made by the other person will certainly be a root cause of any problem you’re facing. The next aspect is fate. I use that term quite loosely and a better word honestly eludes me, at the moment. But it’s important to always remember that some elements of life are out of your control. Most people get angry and try to fix things when fate intervenes, but there isn’t much you can do about it. No sense getting angry at the rain for getting you wet!
The last involved party and the most important, is yourself. It is the height of ignorance to assume, on any occasion, that you have no involvement or responsibility for the problems you face. If we take a simple example, such as being late for work, it may have happened due to traffic, a passing train holding you up or some other factor. But one still needs to recognize their familiarity with the route, traffic and potential delays as well as taking responsibility for the time you left your home. This is a pretty simplistic example, but it goes to show that no matter what the situation, you also hold some responsibility for it. This is usually a hard pill to swallow for most people, as most prefer to place blame on the other individual. Whether this is because they feel better thinking they’re excused from blame or because they want a target to focus their anger is beyond me.
Once you’ve acknowledged that there is SOME self-blame involved and that some of it is out of your control, knowing who else may be responsible will often become irrelevant. And just to be clear folks, I’m not referring to an intentional, criminal act on someone else’s behalf! There is absolutely no reason for one person to commit a crime against another. But this doesn’t prevent some people from using their words, actions or choices in such a way that it causes you problems. The bottom line, whether you buy into this rhetoric or not, is that when people face/overcome any problems in life that involve another party, it usually prompts a comment that always makes me take pause: “Karma will get them!”
Karma has different meanings and connotations, depending on the religious background you follow or are familiar with. In most instances, it describes making your next life better by ensuring the sum of your actions in the current life are positive. Even if you don’t subscribe to the concept of reincarnation, karma can be considered something of a spiritual cause and effect. If you do good, good will happen and vice versa. The problem comes in when people start believing that karma is an instrument of vengeance or revenge. I have some news for you, folks. That’s not how karma works.
There are a lot of reasons why I SHOULD be angry and pissed off against the person responsible for all the grief in my life over the past few years. And despite the responsibility I accept for these issues, the person involved had no right and no reason to cause me difficulty. I have every confidence that karma will eventually catch up to this person. After all, do bad and bad things will happen, as well. But the important thing, which allows me to move on and maintain my sanity, is being able to let it go and walk away. I I were to sit and watch for this person to step off a cliff, that would make me no better and likely worse, than this person was to begin with.
I’ve had a number of people share their thoughts that I should pursue this person, sue them or take some sort of responsive action against this person. Karma is self-regulating and I am not its instrument. At least, I never KNOWINGLY am. And that’s where people need to understand the significant difference between karma and revenge. Revenge involves direct action on a person’s behalf, does nothing to fix what has happened and will only contribute to the suffering of the world. Karma eventually catches up and happens independently, with no vengeful agenda behind it.
Don’t even get me started on suing someone. I absolutely abhor the prospect of suing someone. That’s just a personal perspective, but that always seems to be everyone’s go-to, nowadays. “Oh, I’m gonna sue them…” There’s a time and place for that kind of thing and is meant to be recuperative, not punitive. And one also needs to recognize the inherent difference between “revenge” and “justice.” One has nothing to do with the other. Will karma get them in the end? I always tend to believe so. But I’ll draw no pleasure from it and it’s important not to halt one’s life to see it happen. Food for thought… ☯️