Becoming The Patriarch, Part 2

Well, here we are, folks! I arrived in my old home town last night at about 10 pm local time. My travels were reasonable uneventful, with the exception of the second leg of my flight where we hit turbulence that saw our plane shift and drop dramatically. This was followed by a “reminder” from the flight crew to take note of our nearest exit in the event of an evacuation. Way to make people scared, you bunch of assholes! But I digress… Our arrival was worsened by the fact that despite being boasted as an international airport, the Greater Moncton International Airport apparently only had one arrival port and one ground crew.

After waiting for about 30 minutes on the tarmac, we were finally able to disembark and I made my way over to the car rental counter. Much to my surprise and to the contrary of what I believed, I hadn’t prepaid for my week’s rental. Fantastic. I was cold, tired and spent from my travels but I still had a 3-hour drive to reach the north shore and my home town. BY the time I arrived, the town was dark and foreboding with only the mildest hint of the rough Atlantic waters rushing and crashing off to my right. I got away with a quick stop at a local gas station for a few energy drinks and sugar-free gatorades.

My first night in my mother’s old apartment was disturbing. It was empty, both physically and metaphorically. With my mother now in the care of the nursing home and the majority of her furniture gone, I was left in a cold, barren room to stray and sleep as the older gentleman above the bedroom felt it necessary to stomp around his apartment as though he were still in the war and marching pin formation. I managed to get about two or three hours’ sleep before I awoke to my alarm and began assessing my activities for the day.

My uncles actually did an amazing job art downsizing and getting rid of the majority of things within the apartment. With the exception of a couple of arm chairs and bedside tables, the remainder is all the kitchen equipment, which I’ll need to assess and decide what to do with. The rest is personal photos, paperwork and documents that I’ll need to go through and decide what to keep and what not. It’ll certainly fill my week, in combination with taking time to visit with my folks, of course.

I won’t try to inundate you with photos and they honestly wound’s do the scenery justice, in any event. It’s hard to express the emotions that being back home evoke. The ocean, the mountains, the salty air and the ambiance… It ellicits memories of a simpler time, when my father could walk, my mother still had full mental capacity and my brother was still alive. A time before the shredded remnants of my family included both parents in a nursing home, my brother in a grave and me; the last one standing to try and hold all the remaining pieces together,

It’s going to be a pretty somber week and I’ll try not to bum all my readers out throughout the week as I post about all of this. But the reality is that there is a lesson to learn about everything in life, even the negative. It’s gleaning those lessons and taking them with us, moving forward, that makes the difference between suffering through the bad times, or growing and motivating ourselves TOWARDS the better times. Food for thought… ☯️

Bceoming The Patriarch, Part 1

Buckle up, folks! It’s gonna be one of those series of posts where I walk you through my travels. Unlike my usual process, where I post about the previous day as I go, I will be posting on the morning of, and not necessarily every day. A true fact of life is that eventually we reach a point where life begins to take away more than it gives. This is inevitable and we all get there. Like the passing of the seasons where a tree eventually sheds its leaves to make way for something new in the spring, the process of life can’t be denied.

Lately, it almost feels as though life has been doing everything to knock me in the danglers. Not only has the Canada Revenue Agency identified an error a certain green-themed tax prep company made on my tax return, resulting in my owing a significant amount of money back to the government, i recently managed to slice open my thumb with a chef’s knife, resulting in four stitches and the limited use of my thumb for the next few weeks. And if all of that, on top of my daily work-related duties and familial duties, my mother has recently lost a significant portion of her mental clarity, leaving her in need to constant care.

That brings us to today… I’m currently sitting in the secure area of the Regina International Airport, patiently awaiting the boarding of my flight, which will take me back to New Brunswick for the following week to go settle up my mother’s affairs. I thank the light for the assistance of S family members back home, who were able to facilitate having my mother admitted into the same nursing home as my father so that they could be together. Over the course of the next week, I will be dealing with my mother’s personal effects, including but not limited to selling her vehicle and trying to sort through what needs to be shipped to Saskatchewan or what I’ll drag back with me in a suitcase.

This trip will also be a unique opportunity to spend some time with my parents, as I’m arriving in a rare instance where the nursing home has no visitation conditions due to COVID-19, nor is there a time limit. This means that for the first time in several years, I’ll be able to spend time with my father without interruption. We usually go through life while rarely considering the issues that will begin to emerge towards the end of it. I became significantly aware of this when I was called on Thursday about my father falling out of bed. Apparently, this happens quite frequently and the protocol is to call an immediate family member to advise them, even if no injury has occurred.

Without taking a throne or staking a claim, I have somehow become the patriarch of my family. The pressures and responsibilities this carries are not lost on me, and makes me worry about the future, both familial and financial, given that this likely won’t be the last rushed trip to New Brunswick in my near future. This trip will be bitter-sweet; the opportunity o see friends and family while simultaneously trying to deal with two parents of limited function and mental capacity. Never one to lose an opportunity, I’ll be curious to see what lessons life will provide over the course of the next week. I’ll keep y’all posted… ☯️

A puzzle With A Million Pieces…

Sensei always says that karate is a puzzle with a million pieces; the only way to ensure you learn is to take home one new piece, every night. I’ve always felt that this applies to almost anything in life, but it’s particularly true where it involves karate. To the average layman, karate may look simple and it may be assumed that it’s all kicking and punching. In reality, there are multiple moving parts (pun fully intended) behind learning and developing one’s skills in karate.

I bring this up because I recently read a post online that basically says that you need everything to learn karate. You need kata, you need limited, you need sparring, you need drills, etc… And that’s quite accurate. You need all aspects of the art in order to achieve mastery over it. Depending on how spiritual you find yourself, you may understand that one truly never completely masters karate. There will always be SOMETHING to learn. But I’m referring to karate in its most simple and general terms.

What I mean by this and why I bring it up, is that one can’t choose to “specialize” in karate. I’ve known students and practitioners who were far better at sparring than they were at learning and developing their katas. Unfortunately, they need their katas no less than the one who seems to be poetry in motion while doing them. Learning the foundation of proper form before jumping into sparring is integral to one’s safety and proper self-defence; not least of which is the need to learn the art properly.

I’ve seen students who depend solely on form. They make their way through the lessons without ever making contact with a target or another practitioner. This is also a flawed approach, as karate requires the practitioner to experience the sensation of the impact of their strikes, to develop muscle memory and to learn how to have proper bone alignment so you don’t break every fucking bone in your hand because you decided to throw a punch! Form alone won’t get you there…

That’s why it’s so important to get all the pieces of the very large puzzle that is karate. You need form. You need sparring. Hell, you need cardio and muscle development. Meditation, proper nutrition, proper sleep… I can go all day, the point is, the are many moving parts to ensuring that your martial arts journey not only safe and effective but a good use of your time. You may like the look and feeling of pounding away on the punching bag. You may even be quite fast and good at getting that strike out. But it will serve you quite poorly if you haven’t learned the proper form to get the result you need from that strike. So be sure to collect all your pieces. A puzzle with a missing piece looks terrible, indeed. ☯️

That Greener Grass Of Yours Needs Watering…

It’s a natural instinct to want the things we don’t have. In some instances, this is called ambition, or having goals. This concept applies even when it happened to be something we CAN’T have, although many of us can’t differentiate the difference between “don’t” and “can’t.” But many things in life are often taken for granted, at a time in our lives when we don’t even realize we’re better off.

A good example of this is sleep. How many times have we fought off bedtime or refused to nap as children, afraid to miss something important in our day or preferring to play or watch television than get some sleep. It always seemed so arbitrary and unnecessary. For myself, I was always a little too smart for my own good; I would rationalize that even if I stayed up now, I could sleep more at the other end. This didn’t always work in my favour, considering my parents had to work, run errands and meet appointments, which didn’t always allow me to lounge in my bed at my leisure…

As an adult, I often look back at those days of menial defiance and recognize that I often wish I could go back to a time when my only concern on a weekend was wether I actually took the nap or not. And I can assuredly promise that I would take advantage and crash hard. These days, between work obligations, family obligations, children, errands and chores, there is little time for naps and even a proper night’s sleep is often interrupted by the difficulties of Type-1 Diabetes or the pitter-patter of tiny feet, sneaking out of their bedrooms to pilfer snacks or retrieve their forbidden electronic devices. But I digress…

My point is, we rarely take the opportunity to appreciate the circumstance we’re in; usually preferring to yearn and wish for the circumstances that could be. But if I use my sleep scenario as an example, the issue is not wishing one could go back but rather examining one’s current state and contemplating what one might do to change it for the better. Want that afternoon nap on the weekends? There may be some compromise and negotiating to be done but it isn’t impossible. That’s where the concept of goals come in, after all.

As pack animals, humans will also yearn for what they see others possess. Whether it’s a bigger house, a fancy car or an apparent high-paying job that one may think is far better than their own, the acquisition of material possession and wealth is considered not only a societal norm in the Western world, but an expectation. But how better off are these folks who have everything you covet? Are they truly happier or well off? Or is there a storm brewing under the surface of their existence that you may not be seeing.

They say that money can’t buy happiness. I’ve heard and read that saying more times than I can possibly remember. This makes sense, since I was raised in a household where material possession and acquisition of wealth made way for our overall health. We spent so much time in hospitals and travelling to see specialists, all of our time, efforts and resources as a family went to that. In some ways, in many ways, we were better off as this meant that we learned to enjoy the simpler things in life. A quiet night’s sleep where neither child woke up dying. A warm afternoon of swimming in a local brook or river. It’s true what they say that some of the best things in life are free.

But although money can’t buy happiness, it can alleviate the pressures associated with everyday life that prevent said happiness. That’s the caveat that those who would spout that rhetoric seem to forget. But for the high-salary executive who makes a shit ton of money, the over-extended hours of work and time away from their families, coupled with the stress and burnout of the job, are just some of the negative aspects that they don’t display on their public face. This is why, while one may look at that executive and think they’ve totally got it made, their home and family life are in shambles BECAUSE of their success, instead of being aided by it. As with all other things in life, there must be a balance…

So, what’s the point of all of this? I’ve thrown out a lot of words and used a few sayings and have made a few solid points but the ultimate one for today is that one should be happy with what they’ve got and stop wanting everything they see elsewhere; whether it’s in someone else’s possession or not. Make your goals, work towards your dreams but always remember that the here and now likely isn’t anywhere near as bad as you feel it is because you haven’t reached those goals yet. Money truly doesn’t buy happiness. And even if the grass happens to be greener on the other side, it didn’t get that way on its own. And it usually harbours the same bugs as your own grass does. Food for thought… ☯️

The Meaning Behind The Candles…

People tend to put a lot of stock and attention into the day of their births. For many, it begins at the very literal day of their birth, where friends and family will gather and celebrate a new addition to the family and beginning of a new life with infinite possibilities and directions. Although there are many cultural and societal origins behind getting one’s cake on during one’s birthday, most sources I’ve read all agree that celebrating the day of one’s birth likely began with the ancient Egyptians, some 3,000 years ago. The population would generally celebrate on the day a new pharaoh was crowned, as this was the day he was “birthed” as a new god. I don’t think I’d get away with trying to proclaim myself as a pharaoh. In modern times, it’s usually observed on the day that one is actually born from their mother’s wombs. This observance usually involves the singing of songs, eating of cake and the giving of gifts to the birthday person. But what purpose does it truly serve?

When one is a child, birthdays can be a fun and exciting day. You get to eat cake and treats, you usually get some gifts out of the deal and if you’re lucky and are attending school, you may have your peers doing something, as well. If you like that sort of thing. For me, I use to absolutely loathe having the entire classroom halted to sing happy birthday to me. So fucking embarrassing… It can seem nice and exciting as a child but as you slowly work your way into adulthood, it can become a tedious hindrance as it seems to be observed more by others than by oneself. Once a person begins to reach adulthood, they’ll often fall under one of two categories; those who are flattered and enjoy being recognized and those who prefer to simply let it pass as just another day. Just like today. Today is a Monday. The sun has risen, I can almost assuredly promise it will set tonight, and billions of people are going on with the daily grind of their lives regardless of this day.

I tend to agree more with the latter. At a young age, I began to acknowledge that my birthday was truly nothing more than a day where I had to get up out of my chair every five minutes for the phone ringing. yes, I’m old enough that I had to get up to use the phone. It was pretty sweet when I was younger and all my relatives would give me birthday cards with cash in them. In retrospect, i wish I had banked all of that cash instead of consistently spending it on toys and useless bullshit. But that’s children for you. Hell, my kids do the same thing now, despite my attempts at bestowing the important knowledge of my experience upon them. But I digress…

These days, I tend to take my birthday as more of a stepping stone to the remainder of the year. A day when others try and recognize that my chronological age has increased by one digit but where I tend to try and stay hidden in a hole until the sun sets and my world can return to some semblance of normalcy. After all, a big point that people tend to forget is that one’s birthday is only one day. There are 364 other days in the year (depending on where in the world you reside and what calendar you observe) and every day that you wake up with air in lungs and life in your body is one you should celebrate. The day of your birth was simply but one of those days. All the subsequent days of your life hold a deeper and more meaningful importance as they likely contains what you DID with that life once it was given to you. And that’s far more worth celebrating than an occasion where your mother was likely in pain; a story she’ll usually be sure to share with you on every birthday (if she remembers). Food for thought… ☯️

Time Enjoyed Is Never Time Wasted…

The modern world has made it difficult to simply sit back and enjoy silence. Between work, chores, family obligations and the constant need to be doing SOMETHING, the world has left the concept of simply knocking back and doing nothing behind. The advent of social media has also brought about a phenomenon where people seem to consider it more important ton make hobbies and past times about making money online as opposed to simply enjoying them for what they are.

In recent years, I’ve come to realize that at some point, one needs to step out of the rat race in order to allow the body to heal and recover from the stresses of daily life. As nice as it would be to live a live without stress, thinking that one could accomplish such a thing, especially in today’s climate, is pretty much a fool’s errand. Stress comes in many forms and can have many emotional, mental and physical effects on the body. This makes it all the more important to take time to simply let the silence sink in.

Finding a quiet environment has been difficult for me, considering my children are like two overloaded freight trains that feel it necessary to go head-to-head on the tracks. After a long day’s work, coming home to a constant barrage of noise can make it all the more difficult to relax and let one’s mind cool. That’s why I’ve started to partake of a new practice of sitting by myself, first thing in the morning. This is pretty straightforward, given that it’s the summer season but when I wake up in the morning, I usually grab my energy drink and go sit on the front step.

Despite the warmer weather, the front of my house doesn’t face the sunrise, so the front step is shaded and allows for a coool,m refreshing means of starting one’s morning in silence. If I’m smart enough to be silent myself, the amount of early morning wildlife that I see running around is wonderful. Between squirrels, rabbits, local cats and a variety of bird species, it’s basically like my own little nature retreat. That is, until the boys wake up and bring their loud, raucous voices outside to join me. Everybody wants a piece of daddy… First world problems.

It’s important to find ways to enjoy a bit of quiet. We get so tied up in the constant racket of our daily lives that we often forget that our bodies and minds need a bit of time to cool. Otherwise, the opportunity to burn out is very real and prevalent. Whether that means finding a private spot and taking the time to meditate, sitting quietly in the mornings like I do or even just taking an hour at a local coffee shop with a good book. It’s all good. you can’t miss. It’s all an important step of self-care that one must observe. After all, if you don’t take good care of yourself, you’ll never be able to help care for others. Food for thought… ☯️

All Good Things…

Ah, the 1990’s… They gave us so much. Setting aside the fact that I graduated from high school in the 90’s (yes, I’m that old), the early 90’s also gave us the finale to a much-loved and anticipated follow-up to the original Star trek series. I’m writing, of course, of Star Trek: The Next Generation. TNG hit the airwaves in an unexpected manner, giving us the follow-up series that Trekkies never knew they needed. When the two-part finale aired, it was entitled “All good things…,” a play on the old saying that all good things must come to an end. I felt it a fitting and suitable title for today’s post as, you see, today will be MY last episode, or post, I suppose…

I started this blog all the way back in late 2019. It originally started as a means for me to keep my writing skills sharp. Writing, much like anything else, is a kept skill; one that becomes lessened or lost if one does not use it regularly. “If you don’t use it, you lose it,” may be an apt analogy. When I originally posted, my intention was for this to be a photography blog, if you can believe it. I absolutely love flower and nature photography and my first post was a gallery of various flowers I had photographed during one of my trips in New Brunswick. I’m totally not kidding! You can check it out right here. Those flowers bring back some memories…

Somehow, within a short period of time, I immersed myself in writing this blog and did the same thing I do with everything else; I gave myself goals. My first goal was to expand my own horizons and research capabilities. Through that lens, I began writing about the two things I felt I knew a reasonable bit about: martial arts and Type-1 Diabetes. Before I knew it, I threw my own faith in the ring and began writing about Buddhism, as well. The Diabetes and martial arts aspect developed into fitness & health, writing motivational or opinion pieces as well as the occasional “just because” posts that made me feel good. Somehow, since publishing that first post on February 27, 2019, I’ve managed to write 1,480 posts (not including this one) and have amassed 573 subscribers. Although not quite on part with the modern day “influencer,” and I use the term lightly, it’s not too shabby for someone who started to write on a whim and simply grew from there.

My goals were reasonably simple. On the larger scale, I wanted to share what I knew. I also wanted to keep my writing skills as sharp as a could. On a smaller scale, I wanted to write a post each day for a week. Then a month. Then a year. Then I challenged myself to go for broke and write for 1,000 straight days in a row, a goal that i achieved on December 10, 2022. I found myself asking what’s next and this was perhaps the beginning of a downward slope that would bring me to the here and now. I believe I’ve reached a point where I’ve gotten from this blog what I started out to do. I have maintained my writing skills, which are now in heavy, HEAVY use in the job I started two years ago. I’ve reached the goals and milestones I set for myself and any further or lengthier milestones would just border on the absurd at this point.

I believe I’ve shared reasonable, well-researched information to allow readers to consider possibilities and do research of their own, never professing to be a medical professional or to know better than anyone else. I’ve written on almost every fitness, health, martial arts and Diabetes-related topic I could think of, some being so obscure that it seemed almost a stretch (you can scroll through my posts to find the ones on bowel movement colours, if you need an example). Although I would have never thought it possible, I believe I tapped out my creativity. After all, I did manage to pour out 1,000 posts in a row. How much more could I possibly do?

As with all things in life, there is a balance. For all the good and the enjoyment I’ve received from writing my blog, there has been some negative. I recall getting into a heated debate in my comments section from a very unpleasant young lady who took offence to a post I wrote about meat. THAT was fun. I’ve also had a number of individuals who have unfortunately thought it was their place to question, belittle and demean some of my posts, either in the comments section or to me directly. In a sense, even those were beneficial as they often led to posts about scrolling on by or not commenting on things you don’t agree with. But all in all, it has certainly been a positive experience, one I think that I shall always remember fondly and without regret.

Writing this blog hasn’t garnered the kind of traction I had eventually come to hope for. But I know that I have reached some. And for me, that’s more than enough. My posts will be here, at least until I ultimately decide to shut the account down completely. So I take some comfort in knowing that to some extent, people can still find my posts, read my writing and come to allow their thinking to be stimulated. And for one such as I, that’s all that can be asked. I may eventually come back to my blog. Or perhaps writing here has opened the door for me to pursue something bigger. You know me, always another goal. And that’s what’s important in life; to never let yourself grow stagnant and always keep pushing forward. Stay healthy, stay hydrated and check your blood sugars frequently. Doing so will ensure that I will be here sometime in the future to continue this writing. And it will ensure you’re here to read it. Food for thought… 🙏☯️

Til Death Do You What…?

Benjamin Franklin once wrote that “[…] in this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” Considering the taxes I’ve paid since making my transition into the adult world, quite a number of years ago, I can attest that taxes are not something one can avoid. At least not legally, but that’s another post for another day. The focus of today’s post is death. Most people are leery of death and the concepts behind it. One of the things that allows us as people to make our way through life and work towards goals and find some semblance of happiness is the fact that we seem to be programmed to live without constantly being aware that there’s a finish line and there’s nothing to do to avoid it.

If one were to wake up every morning acknowledging that they’re going to die, can you imagine the kind of chaos that would ensure in the world? People would stop trying. Goals and achievements would come to a screeching halt, crime rates would increase dramatically and the ones who don’t necessarily covet their existence quite as dearly as others would take foolish chances and perhaps bring upon their end sooner than would have otherwise taken place. Problematically, there are some who DO live this way. The results are never good, per se, and there is always the question of what happens after we die. The big problem is that we are programmed to survive, often whether we want to or not. And as I once read in a book by one of my favourite authors, survival is a motherfucker!

We are also biologically programmed to ignore death, preserve ourselves and push forward, which is why for most people, their first thought in the morning isn’t “wow, I’m going to die someday.” The concept of death frightens most people, whether because of their inherent, biological will to survive or because of the unknown. For many, knowing what happens to our existence after death could potentially bring peace. Especially if it could ever be proven that there is some level of existence beyond this mortal flesh. on the flip side, much of what I described in the previous paragraph would come to pass on a high and more extreme level, if humanity ever managed to confirm life after death.

It’s a topic rife with contradictions, since most people avoid the topic and become uncomfortable talking about it. But it’s ever-present nonetheless and I recently had the opportunity to deal with a matter that brought some of these thoughts and concept to the forefront of my mind. When I was young, despite having Type-1 Diabetes, the concept of death was always a bit of a mystery to me. It wasn’t until my own doctors suggested that I would die in a short number of years due to my condition that I awoke to the question of what happens beyond the grave. Given that I was raised by a devout French-Catholic mother, there were plenty of religious concepts thrown into the mix, which were nothing more than extremely confusing for a young child.

It wasn’t until a couple of years later, when my brother passed away from all his illnesses, that it really brought it home for me. It was my first time genuinely dealing with the concept of death and seeing it in its horrible reality. In some ways, many ways, I was fortunate as my brother spent the majority of his life suffering and death brought an end to that. It was one of the driving factors that motivated me to take my life and health into my own hands and ensure I would continue on and live a full life. Three and a half decades later, I’m still alive and very-much kicking, karate pun FULLY intended.

My recent experiences have once again raised the question of what takes place after death and ultimately, does any of it matter? As a people, different cultures have different beliefs and customs behind what happens to our remains after we die. Generally-speaking and only from my own experience, folks here in the western world generally bury or cremate their dead, include religious ceremonies of whatever faith they follow and believe. The ceremonies are given almost as much status and importance as the death itself but the painful reality is that such ceremonies are usually only of import to those who remain; the dead don’t care about such things.

I once read an article written about the concept of life after death where the writer stated that at this point, given the number of people who have claimed to have experienced something beyond consciousness, near-death experiences and such, we should start to consider WHAT happens after death as opposed to IF something happens, since it appears evident that is some activity that takes place. Modern medicine and science have provided plenty of information about everything the brain does to try and keep the body going when it knows it’s dying, which causes the whole “bright light ahead” thing, as well as other aspects that people have attributed to dying. People have reported being “outside” of their bodies, watching as doctors work and were able to hear everything. Since science has somehow confirmed that our sense of hearing is one of the last to cancel out after death, perhaps that could be easily explained, as well.

It’s a fascinating topic, if one doesn’t mind the morbidity of it all. And I don’t pretend to know what happens after death but I will admit that like most, I’ve often been curious. I often turn back to what I once told my dearly-departed aunt, when I visited her for one of the last times as she was dying of cancer. I explained that no matter how one viewed life, there was the possibility of something beyond death. If your life was rooted in religion and your faith was grounded, your beliefs would explain everything you needed. You could find comfort in those concepts. If you have no religion or happen to be an atheist, one still needs to acknowledge the scientific aspect, which is that our bodies are proven to be driven by a measurable form of energy. This energy is seen in the current that controls our heart, maintains our brain activity and I think, contributes to making us who we are as a person. And as we all would have been taught through basic high school science classes (at least the ones we didn’t sleep through), energy never ceases to exist nor can it be destroyed; only moved or transformed.

So not matter what manner of life you live, one could argue that there is an explanation of the afterlife, whether your life is rooted in the theological or the scientific. The question simply remains of what, exactly, will that look like. The bad news is that no one knows for sure. The good news is that since there’s no avoiding it, we will all, eventually, have our answer. The takeaway here is to continue to live one’s life to the fullest and recognize that although sad and includes a deep sense of loss when someone we love passes on, it is part of the natural cycle of life that all living things must observe. Birth, life and eventually death is a something we all will experience. But there’s nothing saying that death deserves our time or attention until our time comes, of which we are usually blissfully unaware. Morbid food for thought on a Sunday morning… ☯️

The Bunny Hop Weekend

This weekend was Easter weekend, which has carried different meanings for me throughout my life. Having grown up in a devout Catholic household, it signified the period of time where Jesus Christ was crucified and died on the cross for humanity’s sins, only to resurrect a few days later. It was an aspect of the Bible that I came to know quite well as a child, with religious movies representing Christ’s resurrection playing on the television all weekend and frequent sittings at our local church (sometimes more than one church). As I grew into adulthood and Catholicism’s hold on me released, I slowly forgot about Easter weekend. Hell, I didn’t even get to see it as a long weekend since, as a police officer, statutory holidays meant nothing for my work load.

In recent years, I’ve been lucky in the sense that I get that additional day off, making for a three-day weekend. That can be nice, especially from the standpoint of getting some additional rest. However, as I grew into parenthood, I came to realize that the weekend also came to symbolize bunnies, chocolates, candies and egg hunts. Having grown up with Type-1 Diabetes means that I didn’t experience most of those things as a child. One would think that this would mean I would enjoy going through it with my children but things of that nature are often less fun when you have to be the adult who cleans up after everything that’s done to entertain one’s children. Although I do very much enjoy the Easter jelly beans I received. They’re good times… But I digress…

Typically, my family would travel up to my in-laws, as they’re the only family we have nearby. With my family being all the way in New Brunswick, my wife’s parents are usually the host of our holiday travel plans. We’ve been pretty lucky in the fact that we’ve been the only ones who not only live afar and require accommodation when we travel but also have children. This means Grandma and Grandpa would not only receive the pleasure of our company but get to see their grandchildren for any given holiday weekend, as well. But as life moves forward, families expand and not only are two of my wife’s siblings married now, they also have children of their own. The conundrum this causes is that, much like at my mother’s home in New Brunswick, there is no longer any room to accommodate everyone.

Although getting together as a family is still important, not only over the holidays but as a general practice, fitting that number of people into one residence is not only impractical but can cause friction that one should not have to deal with over a holiday visit. With that in mind, my wife and I took things in a different direction this year and sent our oldest son, Nathan, up to stay with his grandparents for the long weekend. My sister-in-law was travelling through Regina on a trip of her own and offered to bring him up on her way back. He left last Friday and is scheduled to be picked up by my wife tomorrow while I’m at work.

With only one child to entertain and the fact he’s a toddler and doesn’t care where we go, we spent the weekend browsing designs for the bathroom renovation we should be starting soon. We took the opportunity to eat out a couple of times, one of those meals was at my favourite eatery: FatBurger. I consider myself to be a bit of a burger connoisseur and FatBurger has the best damned Mushroom Swiss burger I’ve ever had in my life. I had the opportunity to catch up on a significant amount of laundry and we even changed things around slightly in the living room. As an added bonus, I took today off as an extra day, although I know myself well enough to know I’ll likely check work later.

All in all, it’s been a pretty good and quiet long weekend. Tomorrow, I get to start back at a fresh new office as my location has changed. That should be an all-new adventure. It’ll be interesting to have my entire organization on one floor as opposed to spread out across three floors. As with all things in life, there will be some good and some bad. I’m looking forward to see in which direction this new office will tip the scales. Happy Easter to all those who celebrated this weekend. ☯️

The Shopping Cart Theory

I’ve noticed I’ve been writing a fair bit about right and wrong lately. Not really sure what’s prompting that, beyond someone trying to break into my neighbour’s garage recently. But some of it has had me questioning our perceptions of right and wrong, and how good or perspectively bad a person may be. I say “perspectively” because what seems to be bad to one person, may in fact seem perfectly normal to another. The problem is, most people will allow themselves to do most given things if they know for a fact they won’t get caught. Let’s take speeding, as an example. Everyone knows that speeding is illegal. Most people recognize that they shouldn’t do it and that speed laws are in place for a reason but most people will also allow themselves to speed if they believe there are no cops around and they won’t get caught.

Enter: The Shopping Cart Theory. I’ve heard/read about this theory a number of times over the years, and have even had heated discussions with friends and family members over the concept. The theory postulates that in general, people are unable to self-govern unless they’re ordered to do a given thing or may face consequences if they don’t. This is demonstrated by the returning of a shopping cart, once one is done shopping and has loaded up their vehicle. In concept, there is no acceptable reason WHY a person can’t return their shopping cart. It only takes a moment, it’s simple and easy and it saves work for others.

The flip side to that, is that there are no laws obligating a person to return their shopping cart. The reality is that no one will punish you, fine you, harm you or kill you for failing to return your shopping cart. Although most of us will invariably recognize returning our shopping cart as the right thing to do, there is nothing to be gained from returning it. No one will praise you, you gain nothing and returning it is done only out of the goodness of one’s heart. One must accept and recognize that one is returning the shopping cart ONLY because it is the right thing to do and provides nothing of value or reward to the person.

This is why The Shopping Cart Theory basically determines whether a person is good or bad within the scope of modern society. The thinking is that a person who is unable to take five seconds to return their cart after using it, is only able to do what’s right when they are threatened by the law or some show of force. Most people will leave their cart unreturned without a second thought, seeing no issue with doing so. Hell, I’ve been guilty of it myself, on occasion. I like to rationalize that I had my children with me to deal with or that it was a freezing winter day. But what makes me any better or more important than the poor staff person who has to retrieve my cart in those harsh conditions because I chose not to do so?

Are we capable of doing the right thing, even when we have nothing to gain and won’t be punished for failing to do so? I’d like to think so. I’ve evidence to the contrary often enough to make me question it, though. But doing the right thing even when not required to so, plays into the Noble Eightfold Path, which includes Right Thinking and Right Action. So, the moral of this post is simply to ask oneself a question: Am I able to self-govern and do what’;s right, even when it gains me nothing? If the answer is no, perhaps a touch of self-reflection is necessary. Food for thought… ☯️