Category: Buddhism & Philosophy

A very wise (and fictional) person once said: “It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.” I’ve always prided myself on being a good person; helping and protecting others and always trying to do the right thing.

In recent days, I’ve come to question what it takes to win a hopeless fight. True battles seem to linger on forever, and one can feel as though it will never end. Sometimes you can feel as though you’ve been fighting forever and you just don’t have any strength left…

I think it was Thomas Fuller who said: “It’s always darkest before the dawn.” This is quite accurate. No matter what obstacles you may be facing, it’s important to keep on fighting. Don’t let the battle force your eyes away from the finale. Keep going. You’ll be surprised how those who matter will surface to offer support right when it’s needed the most. ☯

A few days ago, I read a meme somewhere online that read: “Friendships are like pissing your pants. Most people won’t see it and only you will feel its warmth…” I guess that’s KIND of accurate, although I don’t know that I’d want to wet myself to make the comparison…

I was told a few years ago, by someone who had performed a study on friendship, that all friendships are inherently selfish. They tend to involve Person “A” getting something out of the friendship from Person “B”. This makes sense if you ever observe children in a group. Most kids will hover around the one who has the most “cool toys”, or the one whose parent brought a tasty treat.

Some believe this trait follows us into adulthood and that we generally only cultivate friendships that provide us with something we want. What do you think? Is this accurate? Think about the friendships you may currently have in your life and ask yourself how you came to be friends…

Human beings are selfish by nature. It’s not that we necessarily mean to be. We’ve been biologically designed to be this way so that we can survive. in prehistoric times, staying alive may have meant being selfish enough to eat THAT much more or hoarding the added pelt to keep you warm through a storm. It’s what’s known as “survival of the fittest”. Although evolution should have bred this particular selfishness out of us it still sits in the medulla, which is the part of the brain that controls instinct.

Instinct and selfishness are not my point today. As I contemplated that person’s statement about friendship, I felt that it was incorrect. My opinion was that friendships can simply be a result of liking that person enough to want to be in their company. Perhaps commonalities draw us to each other or it’s an entirely incidental friendship.

Upon closer examination however, I’ve often realized that even those motivations have their level of selfishness. I WANT their company, I ENJOY being around them or I WANT to be around someone with those commonalities…

Wants, needs and expectations are still present even when you feel as though you have no motivation behind befriending someone. The Second Noble Truth of Buddhism tells us that suffering is a result of selfishness. But the point is, as long as your motivation is pure and the friendship is pursued in good faith, that selfishness becomes moot. After all, it’s exceptionally difficult to combat one’s own inherent instincts.

And to those in my life who are like pissing my pants, know that you are appreciated. And I don’t mind being just a little bit selfish if it means I get to keep you as a friend! ☯

Alexander Graham Bell once wrote “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

Life has been difficult for me in the past couple of years. And that’s okay. I still believe that all things happen for a reason. We don’t always understand the reason behind things, but good things are often around the corner. We simply don’t have the ability to necessarily see that far ahead.

The basis of Buddhism explains a simple premise referred to as The Four Noble Truths. The first noble truth explains that suffering, pain and misery exist in life. This makes sense, right? I think it would be a fair assessment to say that all of us have suffered from time to time, in some way, shape or form. Most schools of faith teach this in some respect, since life is not meant to be easy. Otherwise, where would the challenge be?

The second noble truth teaches us that this suffering is caused by selfish craving and personal desire. I have difficulty with this, because I tend to believe that some suffering is inflicted upon us by others. Some actions and results are out of our control. Those who wish to do us harm will do so, regardless of our beliefs. This is part of the problem I am currently facing. But selfish cravings and desires are certainly a source of suffering.

However, the third noble truth does teach that this suffering and selfish craving can be overcome. I guess the big question becomes, when do we overcome it? I believe it can take a lifetime or more. Perhaps in the next life, if we’re lucky. But either way, we should never stop fighting and striving to better ourselves. This is the only way to climb the insurmountable mountain of suffering.

The fourth Noble truth path describes that the way to overcome this suffering is by practicing the “Eightfold Path”, which is another part of the doctrine taught by Buddhism. There’s plenty of articles online about what the eightfold path is, so I won’t go into it here as it gets kind of convoluted and moves away from the purpose of this post.

I’ve been reflecting firmly on my beliefs today (hence the deeply Buddhist teachings). This afternoon, I received a phone call that may alter the course of my life. Although nothing is certain about this call, it opened a door and exposed me to the possibilities beyond the suffering I am currently dealing with. And that brings me more joy than I can describe. It tells that I can and WILL overcome the difficulties plaguing my life.

We don’t always know what life has to offer, just around the corner. Keep working hard, training hard and learning hard. The end result can provide possibilities that you may never have imagined. ☯

Most people have dreams and goals. In fact, I have rarely ever met any person along my travels who hasn’t indicated that they have something in mind for the future or something they’d like to do. Even the folks who claim that they’re happy with the status quo and aren’t looking to accomplish anything will ultimately have that unspoken dream that haunts them every night.

Dreams and goals are important. They help us to develop focus and builds skills needed to survive in modern society. It can also help to give your life purpose. If one had a life of ease without any effort required, where would humanity find the drive for its advancement.

Although having goals can often make life harder, accomplishment can also help you to become prouder of yourself and help to build on your capabilities.

Like most things in life, the only way to have a silver lining is if there’s a dark cloud holding it. There are some disadvantages to setting goals. According to an article posted on LyveStrong.com, failing at any particular goal can cause some people to become discouraged from setting future goals, which can ultimately lead to losing out on important milestones.

The article goes on to explain that goals should be set using the SMART acronym. I’ve heard this acronym often in different business environments I’ve worked in and I will explain it briefly here:

Specific: No matter what goal you set, you should attempt to ensure that you are specific in what you want to accomplish. Perhaps your goal is to purchase a sports car. Great! What kind? What colour? Providing specifics will help to make the goal more real and leads into the next point.

Measurable: Let’s say your goal is to lose weight. How will you know when you’ve accomplished your goal? Let’s say your goal is to lose 5 pounds; this is how your goal becomes measurable. And it ensures that you’ll know once you’ve accomplished it.

Attainable: I’ll keep this one pretty simple… Make certain that your goal can actually be accomplished. Although I’m a firm believer that anything is possible, if your goal is to own a house on the surface of the moon you may be in for a little surprise!

Relevant: Your goals need to lead towards something. Having goals simply for the sake of having them can lead to a sort of stagnation unless you have them accomplish an end game.

Time-measurable: Set a period of time for when you want everything to happen. It’s one thing to say “I want to accomplish THIS or THAT”, but without a specific time frame to ensure its completion, you may never reach the completion of your goal.

Last but not least, work on one thing at a time. Most people have a “bucket list”, or a list of things they wish to accomplish before the end of their lives. But having too many things on that list that you’re working on at once will cause your bucket to tip over. ☯

I know a lot of people seem to think that being Buddhist means dressing in robes and constantly sitting on the floor cross-legged, and every free moment of the day finds us meditating and humming to ourselves.

Although these aspect DO happen, they aren’t a constant thing. It’s comparable to any of the world’s other faiths not following a constant regiment as required by their religions. But meditation is an interesting aspect and tends to cause some mystery to most.

There are several ways to meditate, and unlike the belief most people have, it is not a static thing. It doesn’t always involve a comfy pillow, coupled with closed eyes and hands on thighs. In fact, I have trained to the point where meditation is a flow, and tends to happen whenever needed throughout the day.

Have you ever tried to clear your mind and focus on absolutely nothing? It takes a lot of effort and it really isn’t easy. There have been times when I’ve sat and tried to relax, but the ability to clear my mind simply doesn’t happen.

Like most parents of young children, I had the chance to watch Disney’s “Frozen” with my son, Nathan. And the lead protagonist sings a wonderful song about “letting it go”.

This is what’s often required when meditating. Sometimes the effort of trying to think of nothing is more effort than just letting the mind drift. One needs to let it go in order to empty the mind. If you take a few deep, calming breaths and simply let your mind wander, you can focus on the nothing while your subconscious babbles to itself.

Meditation has become more of a commonality within modern societies. Many employers will provide meditation seminars and allot time throughout the work day for meditation breaks. The advantages are still being studied, but once you get a knack for it, it can provide a plethora of benefits for your health and mental well-being.

I believe I’ve shared this link before, but this is a handy website for folks looking to learn and start meditating: https://www.wikihow.com/Meditate

Learning to relax and clear your mind is paramount based on today’s way of life and work environment. Don’t be shy to learn new skills and habits that will help get you there. And remember, sometimes you just have to “let it go”! ☯

Our society is quite backwards in terms of our behaviour. We claim we want privacy and fight for that very right, however we live in a world where modern culture allows us to expose every moment of our day through online forums and social media.

Despite these facts, humans are still quite adamant when it comes to their privacy. But at what point does privacy cross that invisible line into secrecy? What’s the difference?

Privacy is generally defined as “the state or condition of being free from being observed or disturbed by other people” or “the state of being free from public attention.” Once again, this is a bit of a misnomer, considering how the average person lives in today’s day and age.

Secrecy is defined as “the action of keeping something secret or the state of being kept secret.” In layman’s terms, secrecy requires one to keep something from others. It’s not always a bad thing, but it does require something being held back.

Privacy generally requires being left alone. Secrecy generally requires intentionally keeping something from others. The question I pose to you, dear readers, is where does the line exist and is one inherently worse than the other?

I’ve seen the above-posted meme a number of times and it always gives me a chuckle. Cell phones have become the carriers of our private lives and we tend to guard them closely. Cell phones are likely the best example that I can think of, because most people would agree that their phone is “private”, but the level of protection people use for their phones tend to suggest it errs closer on the secrecy side.

The line is extremely blurred and some would believe that one is needed in order to achieve the other. This makes sense. In order to maintain privacy, some secrecy will inherently be used and vice versa.

The problem comes when one uses that secrecy in such a way that it brings harm to others. And if privacy is used in such a way that it keeps you from the surrounding world, this can be detrimental as well. Although choice of lifestyle is ultimately each person’s individual choice, it’s important to consider those who are closest to us. ☯

How much can be asked of one person? At what point is enough truly enough? What is the instinct that drives a person to use another without remorse? Without considering the damage that person may cause?

For well over a year now, I have been dealing with something of a personal challenge in my life. And considering everything I’ve been through in my life, I shouldn’t be surprised by challenge. Challenge, I can deal with.

I’ve built my life around the concept of justice and doing what’s right; I was raised on the belief that helping others is not only important, but paramount. When I came of age, I began seeking out a career that would allow me to help others and protect those who can’t protect themselves. And now that way of life is threatened by someone who prefers to use others to their own end rather than put in the work.

A year ago, someone who failed to pursue the same career path as my own decided to encroach upon my good nature. I have always been the type to treat others as people and be as helpful as possible. I’ve routinely gone out of my way to try and help others achieve their goals. And now this person has taken advantage of this good nature to further their own goals. This has not only been frustrating, but incredibly damaging to my career and my way of life.

Taking advantage of a situation to get ahead is nothing new in our society. Majoritively, it is difficult to get ahead in modern society without there being SOME pursuance of that very thing. but at some point, we need to ask ourselves if our advancement is worth the suffering and damage to others.

I find myself becoming exhausted. I’ve worked very hard my entire life to get to where I am. It breaks my heart to realize that all that hard work may be undone because of one selfish person. I’ve always considered myself capable of fighting through anything. And I’ve always sworn to fight for my country, fight for my family and fight for what’s right. These things are important. I simply don’t know how much I have left within me to continue when I am now fighting against the very aspects I’ve sworn to fight for.

Luckily, my family has been an endless wellspring of support. They’ve offered the strength that I’ve been sometimes lacking in recent months. If not for this support, I may have given up already. But considering my way of life and my family’s livelihood is threatened, I will continue to fight until I’ve won the day. I owe them that much. And even luckier still is to be blessed with an extended family that includes a small but loyal circle of friends who understand and support as well. You know who you are…

Be thankful for those you have in your life. We don’t always realize what we have, when dealing with the daily routine of our lives. But if they are the support that holds the foundation of your castle, even when the bricks are falling, then we are truly blessed indeed. ☯