Finding A Friend Who Shares Your Weirdness Is Worth Everything!

A few days ago, I read a meme somewhere online that read: “Friendships are like pissing your pants. Most people won’t see it and only you will feel its warmth…” I guess that’s KIND of accurate, although I don’t know that I’d want to wet myself to make the comparison…

I was told a few years ago, by someone who had performed a study on friendship, that all friendships are inherently selfish. They tend to involve Person “A” getting something out of the friendship from Person “B”. This makes sense if you ever observe children in a group. Most kids will hover around the one who has the most “cool toys”, or the one whose parent brought a tasty treat.

Some believe this trait follows us into adulthood and that we generally only cultivate friendships that provide us with something we want. What do you think? Is this accurate? Think about the friendships you may currently have in your life and ask yourself how you came to be friends…

Human beings are selfish by nature. It’s not that we necessarily mean to be. We’ve been biologically designed to be this way so that we can survive. in prehistoric times, staying alive may have meant being selfish enough to eat THAT much more or hoarding the added pelt to keep you warm through a storm. It’s what’s known as “survival of the fittest”. Although evolution should have bred this particular selfishness out of us it still sits in the medulla, which is the part of the brain that controls instinct.

Instinct and selfishness are not my point today. As I contemplated that person’s statement about friendship, I felt that it was incorrect. My opinion was that friendships can simply be a result of liking that person enough to want to be in their company. Perhaps commonalities draw us to each other or it’s an entirely incidental friendship.

Upon closer examination however, I’ve often realized that even those motivations have their level of selfishness. I WANT their company, I ENJOY being around them or I WANT to be around someone with those commonalities…

Wants, needs and expectations are still present even when you feel as though you have no motivation behind befriending someone. The Second Noble Truth of Buddhism tells us that suffering is a result of selfishness. But the point is, as long as your motivation is pure and the friendship is pursued in good faith, that selfishness becomes moot. After all, it’s exceptionally difficult to combat one’s own inherent instincts.

And to those in my life who are like pissing my pants, know that you are appreciated. And I don’t mind being just a little bit selfish if it means I get to keep you as a friend! ☯

Advertisements

Published by

Shawn

I am a practitioner of the martial arts and student of the Buddhist faith. I have been a Type 1 Diabetic since I was 4 years old and have been fighting the uphill battle it includes ever since. I enjoy fitness and health and looking for new ways to improve both, as well as examining the many questions of life. Although I have no formal medical training, I have amassed a wealth of knowledge regarding health, Diabetes, martial arts as well as Buddhism and philosophy. My goal is to share this information with the world, and perhaps provide some sarcastic humour along the way. Welcome!

2 thoughts on “Finding A Friend Who Shares Your Weirdness Is Worth Everything!”

    1. Thank you for that. I have only been blogging since February, although I’ve been posting for over 150 straight days, now. I try to keep my layout simple so that readers can focus on the content.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s