Category: Buddhism & Philosophy

A Belt Is Just A Belt…

I still vividly remember the first night I stepped into Sensei’ dojo. I was young, impressionable yet still chock full of sarcasm and quasi-narcissism. However, I was extremely aware of my own reality and recognized that I needed something life-altering in order to keep myself alive. Karate turned out to be the path towards that goal. After that first night, it would only get better. That’s not to say there wasn’t a significant amount of literal blood, sweat and tears. But I was willing to work at it and do what had to be done to reach my goals.

As I began to grow and progress within the dojo, I started to take notice and recognize the different belt ranks and how they seemed to play a role in the overall flow of the dojo. Generally speaking and for most people, black belt is usually the ultimate goal for the students. Ironically, achieving black belt was never ACTUALLY one of my goals, although I would eventually achieve it in early 2002. It would be a turning point for me and a significantly important day in my life and my martial arts journey.

One phenomenon that I’ve come to realize over the years is that the majority of students who stick with it long enough to reach black belt soon quit afterwards. For me, I never actually permanently stepped away from karate, although I can admit there have been times in my life where I’ve taken a hiatus. Such a break is never inherently a bad thing; one sometimes needs to evaluate one’s life in order to rot determine next steps. But the one thing I never did is hang up my belt permanently. And such a thing should not be done. Although addressed in different ways in different styles, Sensei always said that passing black belt was a student’s way of formally asking his Sensei to teach him karate. Can’t do that, if you quit.

I recently read a post online by Steve Rowe. For those who may not be familiar, Steve Rowe is a martial artists and author and has posted a number for very insightful things about the martial arts. One of the best takes on black belt that I’ve read in while was from him. Here’s a taste…

“Taking responsibility for themselves.
Their own training.
Their own standards.
Their own progress.
Never blaming others for a setback.
Being stroking enough to help others.
THAT’s a black belt.”

I wish I could find the post again but I’m sure if you Google Steve Rowe, you’ll no doubt find it. But the post goes on to talk about how becoming a black belt is an investment in oneself and how passing black belt is like finding the ladder that you now need to climb. Not only do I truly love this perspective but I agree with it, as well. Over the past 22 years, I’ve continued to push myself, to learn new things, to teach others and to continue my training.

If I were back home, I have every confidence that I would have climbed the dan ranks without question by now. But deep down, I understand that it doesn’t matter. It’s just a belt. And the certificate is just a piece of paper. It’s what you do with those that knowledge once you have it that will make you an effective martial artist. Food for thought…☯️

From The Depths Of Memory…

I’ve usually written on this particular subject and person every year at this time, so I’m going to do something that’s reasonably out of character for me… I’m going to apologize for being repetitive. For those of you who are recent followers, hopefully you learn something from the post. Granted, last year I made an intentional point NOT to write about this particular topic in the hopes of finding a different way to cope and remember… As with most things in life, everything comes full circle and since a colleague of mine recently experienced the very thing I’m about to write on, today’s date has come stretching from the depths of memory. Today is the anniversary of my brother’s death.

First and foremost, and just a touch embarrassingly, I learned a couple of years ago that my brother’s death took place on April 5th, not April 4th. My mother turned over a folder of medical and personal records for my brother some time ago that revealed the correct date of death. I attribute that oversight to the length of time that’ elapsed mixed with the skewed and grieving perspective of a twelve-year old boy. It also didn’t help that this took place in the early morning hours, long before the sun had come up. But in an effort to share my thoughts and experiences, I usually write something about my brother. This time, I’d like to write about my experience on that night and how it changed me forever. Perhaps it’s no coincidence that today is a Friday, as was the fateful April 5th when I would see my brother for the last time. Here’s what went down…

It had been a pretty typical week for our household. Every Monday morning, my brother would be brought to the local hospital for routine bloodwork. Routine for everyone else but given all the health conditions he was afflicted with, the results of that blood work would determine whether he could live out the week at home or be rushed to Montreal to attend the children’s hospital. This week saw his blood work clear; at least, as clear as it could be for him. However, he felt ill and couldn’t shake the exhaustion that seemed to plague him. Living with essentially a non-existent immune system, getting sick was a big deal for him, even when it was something simple like a cold. By mid-week, my mother had admitted him to the hospital for breathing difficulties and to help get over whatever bug he may have caught.

People often read things online about how someone may do something or see someone for the last time and not even realize it. I experienced this firsthand as I visited with my brother earlier in the week. He and my mother spoke and like the average pre-teen, I was antsy and fidgeting to leave. With time and the maturity of adulthood, I like to think that if I’d had known that it would be my last time seeing my brother alive, I would have clung to his bedside like a drowning victim to a life preserver. But I didn’t. Instead, we left the hospital that day with “goodbyes” and “see you tomorrows” and made our way home; confident in the fact that this was status quo and he would be out of the hospital in a few days as usual.

Friday was a pretty normal day for me. I went to school, came home, had a bite to eat and my mother would be headed to her weekly bingo game at the Lion’s Club. This was my mother’s one and only outing that she ever went on. She had a three or four women that she had known for decades and their evenings would usually include a couple of hours of bingo games followed y a small snack at a local restaurant. On this Friday, and given the fact that cell phones weren’t a thing yet, I was pretty confident that my mother had gone out to her game. After all, everything felt routine, as I mentioned earlier. My brother being admitted to the hospital was right on the ground floor of normal for us. So I fail to understand how what happened next came to be…

I was awoken suddenly by a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. My room was quiet and all I could hear was a soft crying, coming from the living room. I assumed it was coming from whatever show or movie my father might have been watching. I glanced at my alarm clock to note that it was a few minutes past midnight and it only took a few minutes more to realize that the crying was coming from my mother. A heightened sense of fear mixed with what I can only describe as that feeling when an elevator goes down after expecting it to go up, was nestled deep in my gut. I stayed motionless, afraid to move and bring about whatever had caused my mother to cry. After several minutes, she came to my bedroom and sat on my bed, apparently oblivious to the fact that I was awake at this hour. She explained in short, forced words that I needed to get up and get dressed. We had to get to the hospital to say goodbye. Today was the day my brother would die.

Having grown up in hospitals, both for myself and for my brother, I considered myself something of a knowledgable person when it came to death. I understood the processes of life far better than my counterparts, which I’m not saying is a good thing for a kid at my age but I knew what was coming and none of it was good. At only 18-years old, my brother rightfully should have had decades of life ahead of him, if not for a cruel twist of fate that had him start life with a number of his organs unsuited to support life. I threw on whatever clothes I could grab, oblivious of what the garments were and trying to get it all on through blinding tears.We stepped out into the night’s chill and piled into the family car and I sat silently as we drove the short distance to the only hospital we had in town.

We rode the elevator up to the floor that housed the ward my brother was staying on. When we stepped off the elevator, two things happened; our family doctor, Dr. Furlong, met us at the landing. The second is I could hear the low, pained sounds of my brother’s moans floating down the hallway. our doctor took a few moments to explain that there was nothing to be done, he wasn’t in pain, despite the sounds coming from his room and that this would be our opportunity to say our goodbyes as he would never wake again. We walked to the room and found him lying there. Tightly covered in white, starched sheets to keep him warm. Machines and tubes attached to his arms, legs and face. And every few minutes, a low moan escaped his mouth, which was the only indication we had that he was still alive.

After a short period, other family showed up. My mother soon arranged for nursing staff to take me to a different room so I could “get some sleep.” I remember thinking that sleep was the last thing I would be doing but knew enough to keep my thoughts to myself and followed the nurse out into the hallway. I was brought to the other side of the hospital, which was only a short distance away (our hospital was a pretty vanilla, small facility. Google St. Jospeh’s Hospital in Dalhousie, New Brunswick, and you’ll see what I mean). I was given a bed and I was essentially out of earshot of my brother’s voice. As I lay in the bed, crying and contemplating what life would be like without my brother, I was visited frequently by my father, my doctor and some nursing staff. A few were even glib enough to suggest I needed to get some sleep as it was the middle of the night. Idiots.

Oddly enough and something that I’ve never been able to explain since, is it took a couple of hours but I suddenly found myself drifting off to sleep. I had a nurse at my bedside and my father came in shortly thereafter and woke me. It appeared that my brother had passed away. What was odd, is that according to the nurse and my family, I had apparently fallen asleep at the same moment as my brother’s life ended. I was walked back to his room where, my mother was sitting in a chair with him cradled tightly in her arms. He was still and quiet. I could almost understand how people associated death with peace. He showed no signs of pain, no signs of illness. He looked like he was in a deep sleep. In the moment that it took for my brother’s life to end, my whole family’s life had changed forever.

The days that followed were a blur. The wake, the funeral and the sympathetic words from others who either couldn’t or shouldn’t understand. My parents and I took a brief trip up the coast afterwards in an effort to “get away” from everything. But the reality was firmly in place; my older brother was dead and nothing would change that fact. I remember thinking that my return to school was more tedious than difficult. At some point, having everyone tell you how sorry they are and asking you how you’re doing causes more damage than good. It took some time but life began to slowly move back to some level of normalcy, albeit with some noticeable changes. My mother now had an abundance of free time, due to the lack of medical appointments and acre for my brother. One would assume this would be a relief but when one is grieving, free time can be a horrible thing.

I always say that I learned more from my brother than from any other person in my life. Despite how sick he was, always standing at the threshold of death’s door and with the end of his life always hanging in the balance, he had a love of life and others, a smile that never faltered and an appreciation for all the people and things in his life that made it so wonderful. The irony is not lost on me that it always seems to be those whose life is slated to end so soon that appreciate and love everything far more than those with a full and healthy life do. It’s the latter that should ultimately appreciate the gift of life and make the most out of it. My brother wasn’t so lucky. I often believed that to be in his shoes, I would have been angry and bitter at the world, resentful of the fact I would die, knowing that others who appreciated it less would go on. But not him. He loved everyone. He loved everything. He lived life to its fullest for the short 18 years that he had it.

It’s hard to believe it’s been 33 years since he died. One thing about one’s brother’s dying is the wound never closes. And I don’t think it’s meant to close. It’s up to me to remember him and everything he stood for. Knowing how hard he fought to keep living the life he loved so much is what motivated me to fight so hard to preserve mine. He would be turning 52 years old, this year. I can imagine him playing with my kids, spending time with my family and continuing to enjoy life. He wouldn’t know how to do otherwise. The world could take a lesson from him. That’s probably why I’ve grown to have so little tolerance for bullshit and people’s petty squabbles and entitlements. Rest in peace, brother. ☯️

Always Something Else…

Life is all about finding balance and recognize the positive, despite the occasional shit storms of negative. This isn’t always an easy thing and some folks don’t do so well with focusing on the positive. I can freely admit that I’ve been guilty of this, myself. Often feeling depressed or despondent at the aspects of life I don’t have, as opposed to appreciating and liking the things I do have. I think we would all agree that there are integral aspects of life that will always be more important than everything else. These include family, health and a safe living environment. But the daily rigors of life sure can make those aspects hard to appreciate, sometimes…

I know for a fact that I’m not the only who’s been there. The work day is done and I slowly trudge my way to my car. Tired, head pounding and perhaps even a touch on the sweaty side, despite sitting in an office all day, I eagerly yearn for a period of quiet serenity in the safety of my home. Unfortunately, life rarely cares about one’s plan, which is a doctrine I use in daily life. My trip home is anything but serene as every fucker and their dog conveniently decides to choose THAT moment to head home as well, burying me in a flood of traffic, rude and incompetent drivers and turning what should be a 10-minute drive into nearly half an hour. Certain needs at home prompt a stop at the local market, where I contend with slow walkers, gawkers who seem to think they need to block every aisle as they blankly stare at one product for minutes on end and staff who believe it’s okay to sweep at my feet as I shop. Even the self-checkout, which I assume will give me respite from interacting with others, causes me issues as there is always an item that doesn’t go through or an issue with the scale that prompts the required intervention of staff.

Getting home doesn’t provide the sanctuary I had hoped, as my children all but pounce on me as I walk in the door. Exasperated and tired with my hands full, I resent their level of energy and the fact they don’t permit me to get in the door and offload my burdens before piling on with theirs. I then find myself needing to pass on necessary information from the day to my wife, who also provides key messaging about our oldest’s school day and things that are needed around the house. All of this takes place before I have even unknotted my tie. This is followed by trying to determine a meal that all four family members will gladly eat as well as where to eat it, since my toddler has commandeered the dining table for his latest, greatest Duplo block creation and there is no room to dine effectively. My oldest retreats to his bedroom, already exhibiting teen tendencies despite only being nine years old.

Once supper is done, the burden of daily chores that don’t happen on their own begin to take place. Dishes, laundry, washing the kids and getting them prepared for bed in a timely fashion consumes the majority of the evening. once all of this is accomplished, I may have a brief hour of uninterrupted quiet to myself before my aging body tells me I need to lie down for the night or potentially face deeper exhaustion the following day. All of this is keeping in mind that some nights involve trying to hit up karate class or bringing my oldest to Scouts, which adds a further delay to the evening and potentially a later bedtime. Then, if I’m lucky, I may sleep through the night or I may face issues with my blood sugars that will have me lose several hours of much-needed rest. And the hours I do get aren’t adequate as they are few and far between and sleep isn’t cumulative; you normally have to get it al in, in one sitting. Wash, rinse and repeat…

If one were to read through that narrative, it would likely be agreed that it seems pretty bleak and negative. Sounds horrible on its face, actually. It depicts the daily life of someone with little to no time for themselves and who spends their day in a perpetual state of servitude. It’s how most people go through life and how they see things. Sure, some will usually find escape in certain activities like sporting events, evenings out with the guys or hitting the local watering hole. These things don’t offer a solution to the burdens of life but rather compound them as any of them means time away from your home and family. And the requirements of life outlined above don’t go away; they just keep piling up until they’re dealt with.

That being said, there are always two sides to the scale and for every negative, there must absolutely and inevitably be, a positive. Such is balance. So while the average person may be exasperated and fed up with their daily grind, there is a sugar-coated, frosted silver lining to their dark cloud that most people choose not to acknowledge. Read the narrative of my daily grind from above one more time. Recognize how it might seem negative on its surface but take note of the important aspects of life that it includes. Now come back and read the following paragraphs, that outline the positivity to that narrative…

I have a job. I have stable, sustainable employment. Let me say that again: I HAVE A FUCKING JOB! This is important because realistically, not everyone today has stable employment. That, or they don’t make enough money to sustain their household’s needs. I’m blessed with the fact that not only do I have a job that ensures a daily work/life balance, it provides enough financial security to allow me to provide for my family and all of our needs. And if that wasn’t enough icing on the cake, I just happen to work a job where I get to help people and this provides satisfaction that I wouldn’t get elsewhere. Although most of us would love to win the lottery and spend our days sprawled in a hammock, there’s something to be said for having this aspect in one’s life. And it leads to many of the other points in the daily routine…

Being able to stop in at the grocery store and having ready access to whatever food and dietary needs my family may have, is a gift and blessing in and of itself. Not everyone is so lucky, In fact there are more and more people in Canada going without adequate food with every passing year. Despite traffic jams and other drivers, I am financially stable enough to have a safe, reliable means of travel that I not only use to come and go from my job but to transport my family to whatever we need to do, as well. I so often see people walking or standing at the bus stop, their hands full and their backs burdened, carrying several bags of groceries because they don’t have a car to get home. Or walking to their job in the rain because they can’t financially sustain themselves to purchase a vehicle.

When one gets home, one would expect to have some peace and quiet. Although it would be lovely to be able to step in, drop my burdens and change out of my daily work attire, it’s a blessing to have people who love me greet me excitedly at the door. To know that I was missed and that others are happy to have me home is a blessing, one that needs to be appreciated and recognized as opposed to resented. Given that for years, I wasn’t even certain if Diabetes would allow me to have children, they need to be seen for the acknowledged miracle that they are. Too many people spend their lives in a state of imposed solitude. Alone and with no one to help them through the struggles of life. My wife is a damn veteran in dealing with life and walking with me through the difficulties it presents.

Last but not least is how lucky I am to have access to medicines and technology that make the managing of my Type-1 Diabetes not only possible, but sustainably easy. If I were born a century ago, I would have lived for a couple of weeks past my diagnosis before succumbing and dying to Diabetic symptoms. Hell, I was born in the 1970’s and even then, our lack of understanding and poor technology was enough to put my life in peril. Nowadays, the access to insulin and medications needed to keep me alive and healthy is nothing short of miraculous. Despite the occasional issue, I live well. My insulin pump is a piece of absolute, fucking technological marvel and I can’t imagine ever going back to life without it.

The point I’m trying to make with this long-winded post, if you’ve managed ot keep reading this far, is that life is good. Despite the fact that most people choose to see life through the first lens, it’s important to acknowledge the positivity that comes with seeing it through the second lens. Doing so will help you in recognizing that even when you’re tired and exasperated with life, you should be happy and fortunate with all of the good things you have in your life that not only make your life worth living but add significance substance to who you are as a person. A secure job, safe, comfortable home and a loving family are aspects of life to be revered and appreciated. Doing so will ensure a deeper sense of happiness and accomplishment in life. Food for thought… ☯️

What Fills Your Cup…?

Once in a while, I come across a meme or a saying or something that I believe is worthwhile sharing or referencing on this blog. Writing about specific aspects of karate or Diabetes can become a bit saturating at times and I like to focus on the more philosophical aspects of life. This leads us to today’s post. I’m going to kick this off by pointing out that I can’t recall where I got this from, only that I read it online from one of the many sources I explore. I really should start writing this shit down but with all the reading and research I do on my own time, there would be no end to it, if I did. plus, I can never tell what I might use in a post and what I don’t. But I digress…

We’ve all heard the saying that it’s hard to fill a cup which is already full. Depending on where you’ve read or heard this saying and like many others, there are several sources credited with it. Some say it’s a Chinese saying, others attribute it to being a Zen proverb, which is the context under which I started hearing it. Either way, it refers to the concept that when one is learning, it’s exceptionally difficult to teach someone who already assumes they know everything. Life is an ever-constant journey of knowledge and one’s cup should never be full. But there are those who seem to operate as if it is…

But my point today is that there’s more to that than simply the teaching context. And here’s where my sourced material comes in. Here’s the scenario: You’re walking with a full cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you or shakes your arm, making you spill coffee everywhere. Why did you spill the coffee? One would be inclined to say that it was because someone bumped into them. But this would be a wrong answer. The correct answer would be that you spilled the coffee because there was COFFEE in your cup. If you had tea in the cup, you would have spilled tea. Whatever is in the cup is what we spill out.

This means that when life comes along and shakes you, which will inevitably happen, whatever is inside of you will come out. It’s often easy to fake it or keep it concealed; until you get rattled. So, it becomes important to ask oneself, “what’s in my cup?” When life gets tough or you face adversities, what spills over? Will it be joy, gratefulness, peace and humility? Or will it be anger, bitterness and negativity? Life provides the cup. You choose what you fill it with and what you will inevitably spill onto the world.

I’ll admit that I agree with this line of thinking but I’m going to take it a step further and add my personal perspective to it because, well… my fuckin’ blog and all that. My view is that YOU are the cup. And life fills it. When life pours negativity into your cup, you need to find a way to empty it out to make room for the positivity. There are two ways to do this. The first is to allow it to spill out. Although this may not sound ideal, letting it spill out doesn’t necessarily mean you’re unleashing your rage on the world. It can mean finding healthy and proper ways of dealing with your negative thoughts and feelings. Exercise, working out, asking to someone about it… It can be a pretty hefty list.

The other way to empty your cup is to drink from it. But I if you’re looking to empty out negativity, drinking it will only cause you to internalize it, which is not only horrible for you but only delays the inevitable. That which is the eventual spilling over o the negativity. The difference is you may not have as a much of a say in how it spills out. That’s why every person sometimes needs to get help pin emptying their cup. If it’s positivity we’re talking about, have at it! Let that shit spill out on the world and drink it all in as much as you can. It’s all good. Just be sure to take care of yourself and keep yourself healthy. The cup isn’t going anywhere. And neither should you. Food for thought… ☯️

One Love, One Life, One Style…

Some decades ago, I remember Sensei telling me a story about how he had trained with a master in Japan, whom I unfortunately no longer remember his name, who would always say “one love, one life and one style…” The premise was pretty simple; in this one life we have, we should only have one true, genuine love. I was lucky enough to find this person in my lovely wife. But the focus of today’s post is about the last piece. That being, one style.

The beautiful thing about karate and martial arts in general, is that it’s a puzzle with a million pieces and so long as one is genuinely training to learn the art, they will never reach the end. For some, this may be a bit of a morose statement but to a true student of the martial way, feeling as though you have nothing left to learn can be far, far worse. So it rather plays on the aspect that no matter how skilled, knowledgeable or advanced your become, there will always be someone better.

All that being said and as I’ve often said before, martial arts is a very subjective thing. A style that suits one person may not be a good fit for someone else. Once you find a style that fits your needs, comfort and lifestyle, it should generally be the one you cling to for life. Switching styles does happen, but there are usually underlying reasons for this and should typically be avoided. One cannot learn something only part way before moving on to the next. It’s important o stick with your style and continue to train to learn and advance as far as you can (and are willing to go).

Just to be clear, this doesn’t mean that one shouldn’t increase their overall toolbox by dabbling in other things. One of the best selling points about the martial arts is that it holds a vast menu that can be picked from, for the aspects one feels one may be lacking. For example, karate has always been a good fit for me because I’ve always felt that the ability to defend myself empty-handed was important. You know, considering most of us don’t go walking around with a weapon. That being said, I’ve also taken to training with some weapons in order to bridge that gap.

This is similar to how an empty-handed fighter may choose to learn some grappling or throwing, or how a boxer or fist fighter may want to learn some kicks. Adding to one’s repertoire is never a bad thing but the basic lesson is that the student will always stick to, and come back to, their home style. Such has been the same for me. Although I’ve had the privilege and the honour to train with a couple of different styles since moving out to Saskatchewan, I’ve stayed true to my roots and always trained in Uechi Ryu. And I don’t really foresee that changing.

So, what happens when a student walks away from their dojo completely? And worse still, takes the skills and lessons you’ve taught them and brings them somewhere where they begin to teach them as a separate school? The history of karate is rife with such instances. One very notable example is a popular style of full contact karate named Kyokushinkai. This style‘s founder was originally a practitioner of Goju-Ryu karate and eventually splintered off to found his own style. Ironically, even THAT style would go on to help inspire and found many subsequent styles.

The question becomes, is it right to do so? And at what point do you face potentially watering down the style you’ve learned, simply to try and teach something of your own? For the most part, when a student wishes to open their own dojo or even teach or pass on what they’ve learned, dojo code of conduct would seem to dictate that they get their Sensei’s consent, first. Hell, I’ve never even trained in another dojo without first throwing a quick email to my Sensei, back in New Brunswick, to talk about and ask if he’s okay with it.

What becomes a bit sad is when a student decides to leave the dojo without their instructor’s consent and begins teaching others. Not only is this an incredible breach of etiquette and flies in the face of what martial arts is all about, it’s a bit hypocritical. After all, if there was something wrong enough with your dojo that you’ve decided to leave it, why would you take all those teachings and continue to pass them on? The other issue is that without the support of your home dojo to help, monitor and continue to provide correction, you never know what mistakes or technical errors you may inadvertently pass on to your newly-acquired students.

Be true to yourself but don’t forget to be true to your dojo. If there’s something that you feel is inherently wrong within your dojo, the idea would be ot take the opportunity to speak about it with your Sensei, not running off. And as much as some students may have a yearning to teach what they’ve learned, they shouldn’t do so without the consent and approval of their instructor. After all, thinking you’re ready doesn’t make it so. And dishonouring you or Sensei by opening a school and teaching without his consent waters down the purity of the martial arts, overall. Such as it is. Food for thought… ☯️

One On One Can Be Twice The Learning Fun…

I remember how in the early years of training in the karate dojo, I would always be grateful for the ability to blend in to my background. Training and following along, I was comfortable following the status quo and learning in the class environment. I wasn’t a big fan of having the focus mainly on me. One might say I was a bit more shy back then than I am now. I don’t have a timid bone in my body, these days, so things are a bit different and those also affects how I learn and train.

I’ll always remember the first time I found myself training alone with Sensei. To be clear, when I say alone, I don’t mean one on one while the rest of the class is paired off, as well. No, what I mean is literally only Sensei and I in the dojo. Classes for us would usually run from 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm, with junior belts and younger kids leaving after the first hour. The older and more senior belts would almost always stay for the second hour, as the lessened number of students meant less of a watering down of Sensei’s attention.

On this one particular night, the few senior students who would have stayed that second hour were either absent or had to depart early for individual reasons, leaving me alone with Sensei. I was still a white belt and I remember experiencing a distinct feeling of apprehension as I stood at attention and Sensei waited for the remaining students to clear out. Once we were alone, he began to continue to instruct, but to me and me alone. The positive is that I was still getting my time out of the class. At the time, the negative was that his focus was solely on me as the only student present, which meant that each and every little thing I did got picked apart and corrected.

I was incredibly grateful when the clock finally struck 8:30 pm as it would mean the spotlight would be off. But it wasn’t in Sensei’s nature to follow the clock. Karate knows no time limit, he would often say. I enjoyed the benefit of his direct tutelage for another fifteen minutes beyond the scheduled end of the class. I left the dojo that night feeling a sense of accomplishment. Many of my forms and techniques had been directly evaluated, corrected and commented by my Sensei; something I hadn’t had the pleasure of experiencing before.

As the years passed and I gained time, experience and what I like to think of as a touch of wisdom, I came to value and appreciate the nights when Sensei and I would be alone together to train. I also came to recognize that many students often feel that they don’t get such direct exposure to their instructors in mainstream schools, which leads many students to feel as though they’re neglected or ignored. I never had such feelings, considering I was the type of kid who preferred to be in the background. But there’s definitely something to be said for getting some one-on-one coaching from an instructor.

I was reminded of this experience last night. I finally returned to Kempo, after being absent for almost two years. Following the rib break and crushed muscles from early 2022 in another dojo, I made the conscious choice to step away from group training to allow myself to heal completely and continue to train on my own, at my own pace. This process took longer than I had anticipated and as I often say, life rarely cares about one’s plans. It wasn’t until I received an email from the dojo asking the entire mailing list if they still wanted to receive the emails that I realized classes had been reopened from the pandemic.

As my first class back, I anticipated seeing some old faces and training with several people. I was significantly disappointed to see that some long-time students and people I had gotten to know were no longer attending the dojo. But that isn’t my story to tell. Ultimately, given the night and the circumstances, it was just me and the instructor. I once again found myself in a situation where it would be one-on-one training. This was a two-fold situation. Ion the one hand, I was older and experienced enough that training solo with someone else no longer causes concern. On the other side, despite several years of training at their school, I still don’t have the familiarity with Kempo that would make me comfortable in training in any of their specifics.

On this particular evening, the instructor and I agreed to keep things informal. As opposed to opening a formal class, we simply bowed to each other and got into some training. We spent two solid hours training with kali sticks. This was an exciting prospect, since my loving wife (looking at you, baba!) bought me a set of phenolic kali sticks from Budo Brothers. What are phenolic kali sticks, you may ask? Speaking in generalities, phenolic materials are usually comprised of thermosetting resin or compounds. The result is a lighter but harder stick, making them last longer and be more effective in the training environment.

I got to use my new Kali sticks for the first time last night and I have to say, they held up phenomenally. Putting in a couple of solid hours doing Kali work was the perfect way to shake off the cobwebs and get back into the martial arts groove. It made for fantastic evening. I’m going to take the opportunity to do an unofficial product plug and mention that if you want to check out the Kali sticks I bought, they can be found on Budo Brother’s website here.

Don’t knock the opportunity to train with an instructor one-on-one. Although it can sometimes seem intimidating and even a bit daunting, considering they usually have the skills and rank that many aspire to, they’re there to train just like you are. And the amount you can learn in those rare sessions can go a long way towards helping the progress of your martial arts journey. Last but not least and speaking as a previous instructor as well, the amount we learn from the student during those sessions is just as valuable and important. Martial arts training is a two-way street. Food for thought…☯️

It Can Happen To You…

Yes. Yes, it can. Most people go through their lives with a set of blinders on; unaware and unbothered about the potential pitfalls that await them and the consequences of their actions. In many ways, this makes sense. After all, if one spent the majority of one’s life contemplating their own death, they’d cause a level of psychological damage to themselves that would be difficult to ignore. People go through their daily routine with nary a thought about their own unavoidable demise, regardless of the fact that we all know that it’s coming.

Today’s focus is not quite as macabre as discussing death but rather, the strange dichotomy that society seems to have when it comes to assuming that. A particular thing won’t happen to them. Let’s take smoking, as an example. From a societal standpoint, half a century ago smoking was almost considered an expectation. When the health complications associated with smoking became common knowledge, you still had tons of people who would light up, several times a day. Despite the stories of pulmonary disease and cancer, people usually take a long drag while muttering, “it won’t happen to me…”

One would think that seeing a photo of a blackened lung on the cigarette packet would be enough o dissuade someone with a modicum of common sense from sucking back on a tar-filled stick of cancer causing chemicals but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Instead, some prefer to bury their heads in the sand and assume that such medical horror couldn’t possibly happen to them. But it can. Oh, but it can. Granted, when using an example that includes something addictive, such as nicotine, it can be a bit diffuse to provide a clear perspective. So, let’s look at some different examples…

This dichotomy I speak of, kicks in with just about everything. On the one side, you have the absolute committed folks who say you have to exercise constantly, never eat anything bad, don’t smoke, don’t drink, sleep eight hours and eliminate all stress from your life. On the other side, you have the ones who say you shouldn’t necessarily deny yourself the things you want, at least not completely. If you want that slice of cake, that beer, that cigar or take a day off from exercising, you should deny yourself that.

So, who’s right? Obviously, I’m a big supporter of exercising and eating right, to an extent. I’m certainly no supporter of those who flop down on the couch and do nothing with their time, eating junk and making no progress in their lives. And believe me, I know some folks who are like that. The big problem is that being at either extreme is not a good thing. Take Jim Fixx, for example. He was an American runner who ended up dying of a heart attack while, you guessed it, running! Although I don’t know the back story behind the actual cause of his death, the irony is palpable. I think Denis Leary joked about it in one of his comedy albums. But i digress.

The key to life is to find the balance that works for you. Exercise and proper diet is important, whether you have Type-1 Diabetes or not. Although you don’t need to slam hours of fitness and eat nothing but quinoa all day, you shouldn’t become a lazy couch potato eating nothing but beef jerky and wings, either. Find yourself a routine that works for you and indulge in it. Enjoy it. Work WITH it instead of thinking of it as a chore. And although you should try to balance out your diet so that you aren’t intentionally clogging your arteries, allow yourself the occasion to have that treat you’re thinking about or grab that beer with a buddy. Balance. That’s what it all comes down to.

Bear in mind that humans are fragile creatures. If you eat a pound of bacon every morning and expect NOT to have a heart attack, think again. It can happen to you. If your think that sitting sedentary all day, every day, won’t cause your body to atrophy, think again. If you think your chain smoking won’t result in lung problems and/or cancer, think again. It can happen to you. It can all happen to you. The idea is to find your balance so that you can live healthy AND live happy. And with that happiness may come the lesser stress you all seem so crazed about. Food for thought… ☯️

Life Lessons For Your Morning…

I found a short list of “life lessons” online while recently wandering my social media platforms. I don’t recognize the individual who posted this list and it was a “recommended” post (we all know a platform or two that does this), so maybe someone reading this will recognize it. If you know the source of this list, please feel free to share it in the comments. That being said, I can relate to some of these and felt I should share it. The bolder lines are the list. The narrative is mine and some of these are a bit on the funny side. Here we go…

1. Don’t lend money to your family; give it.
This is an important lesson for most, myself especially. I’ve had many times in my life that my parents gave me money, even when I didn’t need it. It can obviously cause things to go awry, especially if one has a family member seeking to take advantage.

2. Never shake a hand while sitting down.
Okay, I get where they’re coming from with this one. Although mostly an etiquette thing, there’s nothing more awkward than walking up to someone to shake their hand and they keep their butt in the seat. Plus, if it’s your first meeting with someone, you only get that one chance to make a first impression.

3. Stop telling people more than they need to know.
They key point here is that it isn’t being suggested that you lie or omit details. But depending on who you’re speaking to, less is sometimes more. Providing a bunch of fluff and details that don’t add to your message is pointless, and may also change the receiver’s interpretation of what you’re trying to impart.

4. Never eat the last piece of something you didn’t buy.
I realize that I’ve been guilty of this quite a few times in my life. Especially if a meal is provided for me and I’m having something delicious that I’ve never tried before, I have a tendency of going for seconds. But if a buddy invites you over for a beer, don’t be that person who grabs the last one. It’s just rude.

5. Don’t throw your friend under the bus to impress someone.
I’ve been the victim of this on more occasions than I can count. If there’s one thing I’ve come to learn in the course of my life, is that friends, true friends, are a genuine rarity and should never be sacrificed for the sake of impressing someone else. This is also a good and fast way to end that friendship, if you’re doing it to someone like me.

6. Never insult the cooking when you are the guest.
If you’ve been invited and are being given free food, shut your mouth, eat it, smile and say thank you. Maybe you don’t like eating quinoa but if that’s what’s being served, grin and bear it. Anything short of a medical reason, be thankful you have someone who not only invites your into their home but shares their food with you.

7. Don’t use the urinal next to an occupied one.
While on the comedic side, I’m going to add to this one while also pointing out that you shouldn’t try to make small talk while using a urinal. The last thing any guy wants/needs, is to be chit-chatting with someone while their hands are on their junk. Obviously, if there are only two urinals available, you may not have a choice. But if there are, don’t be that guy.

8. Don’t take out your phone during a conversation.
This is a pretty big one because society now exists in a world where we essentially function on a daily basis through our devices. While convenient, this can be detrimental during an actual face-to-face conversation. If you’re speaking with a live person, keeps your damn phone in your pocket! You can check your Twitter (Oh, sorry! I mean ‘X’) later. Unless it pertains to the conversation, such as looking something up… And even then, I usually make a point of stating that I’m looking something up for them,

9. Never take credit for work you didn’t do.
Setting aside for a moment the fact that this can get you into serious trouble if it’s ever discovered or you’re required to lean on the skills used for that work, you should never try and advance yourself at the cost of someone else’s blood, sweat and tears. Even if you hit someone that consents to your taking credit, this is definitely a faux pas.

10. Listen, nod, and most of all make eye contact.
People want to feel like they’re being heard. There’s nothing more distracting and annoying than talking to someone who’s eyes wander while you speak and it just feels as though they aren’t listening. Be present in the moment. Pay attention. And if making eye contact is difficult for you, it’s definitely something personal that should be developed. A huge percentage of a conversation is contained in the eye contact.

11. Don’t make fun of your friend in front of his kids.
Whatever. My kids make fun of me so why wouldn’t my friends? I would suggest that it’s more accurate to say not to “belittle” your friend in front of their kids.

12. Never let emotions overpower you.
We all have ‘em. But as soon as you let them take control or dictate your actions, it can start a downward spiral you may not be able to pull out of. Self-control is a major element in the martial arts and in Zen. The important thing is to acknowledge one’s emotions, feel them and experience them. Just don’t them control you.

13. Never beg for a relationship.
This is a big one and quite important. There’s a difference between fighting to keep someone in your life and begging them to do so. The former is noble. The latter is pathetic. If you have to beg any person for a relationship, regardless of the nature of that relationship, they don’t have a place in your life. In fact, they don’t deserve one.

14. Dress well no matter what the occasion.
This is a self-respect piece but it plays a big role in how you’ll develop your confidence, trust in yourself and to help maintain good mental health. No matter what’s happening, take the time to get up and get dressed. It’s part of the routine that will bring success to your day.

15. Never kick a man when he is already down.
Not much to say on this one. No one deserves to be battered. If someone’s already down, you should help raise them up. But if you’re the one being kicked, be sure to block that shit!

There you have it. This became a way longer post than I expected to write but hopefully some of you will actually read through it and get value from some of what’s here. ☯️

My Wise Words Usually Come From Someone Else…

It’s been a while since I posted something I’ve found online just for the sake of sharing it, so I thought I would do so today. I say this as I slam a paragraph in my opening instead of simply posting the photo! I’ll reign myself in just long enough o share today’s quote. Here is is…

Miyamoto Musashi has been a significant role model for me through my martial arts journey. He was a Japanese swordsman who developed his own style of Two-bladed swordsmanship. He was also an artist and philosopher, which gave him a unique perspective on the ins and outs of martial arts and how one should approach life. He wrote a book in the late 1600’s famously titled The Book of Five Rings, which was intended as a means for Musashi to leave behind the teachings he provided to his students.

Whenever I share a quote that’s said to be attributed to someone, I’m always cautious to point out that the quote is only as good (and accurate) as its content. There are a lot of memes and supposed quotes out there that are credited to persons who may actually have never said it. In that spirit and if you haven’t done so, I would highly recommend getting a copy of Musashi’s book and read for yourself. Although this one quote hits deeply, his book reflects on so much more and gets the mind working. Stay healthy. ☯️

The Greener Grass…

Ah, life… It tends to go by in a flicker. Many people exist throughout the course of their lives without ever really living it. And that’s a shame, when you consider that regardless of what school of thought you adhere to, or what faith background you may have, no one truly knows what comes next. What if this is it? Is it really worth getting hot under the collar at the guy who cut you off in traffic? Probably not. We tend to live life as though we have all the time in the world.

One big aspect of life is that we almost always want something we don’t have. In some ways, this is to be expected. The gathering and accumulation of material things serves a number of purposes for humanity. On the one hand, it can be a social status thing, with the ownership of certain things showing wealth, success and/or prosperity. On the other, it can be a happiness thing. Maybe you don’t need a $100,000 camper trailer for the couple of months in the summer that you can use it but your sure as fuck love camping in it when you do.

If you have the method and the means, all of that is well and good. But if you’re the person on the other side of the fence LOOKING at the camper trailer that someone else owns, you’d be lying to yourself if you believed the thought hadn’t crossed your mind that it’d be loads of fun. I use a camper trailer as an example because it’s the first one that came to mind but you can apply that concept to just about anything, including material belongings, wealth and even the people in your life.

Age is a big one, too. If you think back to your youth and if you’re being truly honest with yourself, you’d be likely to find at least one occasion where the thing you wanted most was to be grown up; grown up to buy booze, grown up to do what you want and come and go as you please… Never truly recognizing the benefits and advantages of your youth, while you had it. As an adult, how many times have you wished you could go back to your youth, either for health reasons or because it was a simpler time when you didn’t have to pay bills, work a job and have responsibilities? If you need a perfect example of wanting what you don’t have, you need only to look within oneself.

At the end of all things being equal, life is meant to be lived in the moment. There are things we NEED to do in order to live and function in modern society. Having a job and bringing in an income is counted among the most prominent. But while you’re busy doing that, take the time to enjoy the stage of life you’re in and the benefits you do have. As much as I’d love the energy and health of my youth, I sure don’t miss having to go to school and having most aspects of my life under someone else’s control. And that’s the point; life is a compromise. Work to make money so that you can use that money to grab that occasional pint of beer when you want it. Don’t stress and don’t focus on the things you don’t have right in front of you. You’ll be better off for it and you’ll live better. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Food for thought… ☯️