Category: Buddhism & Philosophy

Winds Of Change

I’m exhausted. I haven’t written a post this late in the day, in a very long time. Time and circumstances, am I right? Here’s the thing: the wind doesn’t bring change. It simply changes where it roams. Kind of like the old Heraclitus saying, “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he is not the same man.”

Time and circumstances change all of us. No matter what we believe, we all go through change. Sometimes without even noticing it. It can be for the better or for the worse, depending on your perspective. I’ve come to realize that I’ve changed a great deal in the past decade. I have. I’ve changed. And not all of it is good, but the important thing is I’m pushing towards making those changes work in my favour. Survival means adapting, right? And as I’ve often said, life doesn’t care about one’s plan.

Think about life a bit like a meal. Depending on where you plan on dining, you may have a menu to choose from. But no matter what you order, you may not get the dish you wanted. It sucks, especially if you had to wait a long time for it. And you may have gotten to the point where the location is closing in a few minutes and there’s no longer time to replace the dish for the one you chose. You have a choice to make: Do you refuse to eat, potentially causing further hunger or starvation? Or do you make the best of a bad situation and take the time to enjoy the dish that’s in front of you, despite the fact it isn’t what you chose?

I’m reaching with all the metaphors here, but the point is that we can plan and want all we want in life. But the end result may not be what we expected. It’s up to us whether we choose to make the best of it or allow ourselves to starve in the face of our stubborn refusal to move forward.

As a character from one of my favourite animated series once said, “Life is a banquet, and death is dessert.” If this is true, I guess it’s a good thing I have Diabetes and have to avoid sweets… ☯

Let The Hate Flow Through You…

Anger is insidious. And it tends to feed on itself. Anyone who knows me, is aware that I have a bit of anger sitting in a deep well inside my gut (I can almost hear my wife upstairs, nodding her head vigorously). I take great pains not to let that anger get the best of me or direct it at others. Why would I? There are so many ways to productively deal with one’s anger, there’s no “reasonable” cause to direct it at another human being.

I was running errands yesterday morning, as I usually do. One of my stops included getting fuel for the family vehicle, which I had been planning on doing for the past couple of days. When I finished paying for my fuel, I exited the gas station onto a four-lane boulevard that ran west to east. The boulevard had a centre lane that allows for turning left or right, which is a common street layout at various locations throughout the city.

My vehicle was placed within the median lane without blocking any traffic, and I was watching the east-bound traffic for an opening to pull into the main driving lane. An approaching pickup truck signaled and moved over to its right, leaving me with an opening to pull into the lane. I merged into the lane and was greeted with the loud sound of a blaring vehicle horn.

I looked to my right and found a black pickup truck (not the one that changed lanes) pull up next to me and the male driver started gesturing and yelling at me. I couldn’t see my own face, of course. But I imagine I had a look of confusion mixed with indignation at being harassed by a random stranger. I wasn’t sure what had happened, and I can confirm I hadn’t even seen this truck when I checked before pulling out. But suddenly, he was right there!

I pulled into the left turning lane, as my intention had been to head North on the cross street. He pulled up next to me in the next lane and lowered his window. Despite my better judgement and the fact I probably shouldn’t have, I lowered my window as well. Here’s the exchange:

Angry Driver: “What the fuck is your problem, shit-head? You’re not supposed to pull out of the gas station there!”

ME: “Of course, I can. That median lane is for turning either direction. Always has been. I saw the truck switching lanes to let me in and I took the opening.”

AD: “He moved right because he was turning right, shit-head! I have the right of way and you pulled right in front of me! What the fuck is wrong with you???”

This was a strange occurrence. It wasn’t the aspect of cutting the guy off that bothered me. I can totally admit that I might have cut him off. But this felt like a role reversal. Usually, I find myself being the one who gets angry and frustrated at other drivers. Although, true to form with the population of this city, the worst one ever faces is the actual vehicle horn. Actual interactions generally don’t happen unless a collision occurs.

AD: “What kind of shit-head are you? Do you not know how to drive…?

I offered an apology, uncertain as to whether is sounded sincere or not, and tried to explain that I hadn’t seen him. He continued to call me a shit-head and swear at me, so I raised my window and let it go. I guess he’s the kind of guy who finds an offensive name he enjoys and uses it, ad nauseam. I was somewhat taken aback by the level of anger and aggression he was using against me for something so trivial in the grand scheme of things.

Did I cut him off? Maybe. I’m even ready to say probably. But there’s no rational reason to chase someone down and start swearing and name-calling because of it. I get angry. My wife can confirm her level of entertainment she gets at hearing me grumble and swear when we’re dealing with traffic. But she can also confirm that following someone to yell, argue and call them names is well beyond even MY anger. I mean, come on!

Folks, life is too short. Things will make you angry. Things will make you frustrated. That’s a part of life. The idea is not to try NOT to be angry; the idea is to find a productive way to vent that anger. And most certainly not pass it on to others. Let’s think about it for a moment. What has this guy accomplished with how he treated me, yesterday? Did he solve the problem? Did it take it back? Of course not. All it did was stoke the flames of his anger further. He probably drove on to his destination with a knot of angst in his gut and hatred for a person he doesn’t even know. I continued on to my destination stressed, confused and harassed without even being aware that I had done something wrong. As Elsa from Frozen once said, let it go… ☯

A Touch Of Innocence For Your Morning

We tend to lose parts of ourselves as we grow older. Adulthood and responsibility have the tendency of destroying certain instincts that most of us are inherently born with. These instincts are a result of a long evolutionary process of over generations. For example, how is it that my 4-month old son knows to smile when he sees me? And seems to recognize a smile as a sign of happiness and familiarity? Sure, part of it involves imitating his mother and father, but a smile is a recognizable facial expression that is used across the entire world, regardless of race, background or language.

The same can be said for dreaming, imagination and curiosity. These aspects are very prominent when we’re born and through childhood, but they slowly disappear as the crushing responsibility of daily life takes over. There’s a perfect example of this phenomenon, which I experienced this morning. Enter: my son Nathan.

Today is a school day for Nathan (it’s Friday, d-uh!) so I turned on his bedroom light at 7 a.m. and told him he needed to get up. Despite getting to bed almost twelve hours previously, he looked at me and frowned around two red, blood-shot eyes that spoke volumes since his vocabulary lacked the words he wanted to express in that very moment.

I went to work preparing his lunch and backpack and trying to get some caffeine into my system as I move about. Contrary to the process that’s usually necessary on school days, he emerged from his bedrooms a mere five minutes later, fully clothed. I asked what he wanted for breakfast and he declined to eat anything. I should’ve listened to him, because my second suggestion produced a response of frustration usually reserved when you can’t find a parking space when you’re ten minutes late for an appointment.

He expressed his desire to watch cartoons for a few minutes before leaving and, in the interest of my sanity, I accommodated him. He curled up in our home office under a blanket and started watching an episode of Paw Patrol for the bazilionth time! My recent illness had me dealing with a wave of nausea, so I couldn’t be bothered trying to argue with a 5-year old. Despite knowing that it’s a school day, he doesn’t choose to acknowledge that some urgency is required during the morning. That’s apparently a problem for adults.

Once the car was started, backpack and coffee mug loaded, I called out that it was time to go. A very frustrated Nathan came up the stairs and told me, in no uncertain terms, that I should come down to the office to get him as opposed to yelling out for him. My response was to get his damn outerwear and boots on.

As he’s sitting on the steps of the landing, slipping his boots on, his eyes suddenly light up and he says, “Look, Daddy! A spider…” I look down at the step and I see a small water drop sized insect on it’s back. I only see six legs, so I explain to him that it’s not a spider. He taps it and the legs move. His excitement grows exponentially as he realizes it isn’t dead. Getting his ski pants and boots on have been completely forgotten.

I try to steer him back on course, but his excitement becomes mixed with concern as he tells me we need to help the bug turn over so it doesn’t die. I look at the time and sigh audibly. The son of a Buddhist wants to help preserve a life. I can’t really fault him for that, can I?

I tell him to keep getting dressed and I’ll take care of the bug. I push the bug gently until it manages to flip over. Turns out, it was a lady bug (At least I hope it was. That’s what it looked like. What am I, an entomologist???”) It starts crawling away. Nathan has his ski pants almost to his waist and his boots on. Time is burning away on bus pickup and now he’s worried about the bug getting off the landing. “We need to put her outside…”

I calmly explain that it’s winter and that the snow will kill the lady bug. Better to let her make her way off the landing herself as she can walk on vertical surfaces. I manage to get him to finish getting his ski pants on and his coat gets around his shoulders and almost zipped up when he stops and kneels down to watch the ladybug walking around.

“Dude, you’re killing me! Get your stuff on! We gotta go!” He hustles into the rest of his coat and I use the term “hustle” sarcastically, and makes his way out to the family vehicle. I bring him to the bus stop and wait patiently as Nathan turns on his seat warmer and puts the radio on a station playing music. After a few minutes of silence, he tells me I need to check on the ladybug when I get home (it was gone, BTW).

He walked to the bus, gave me his customary goodbye hug and stepped up into the bus and started his day. As the bus pulled away, it dawned on me that Nathan spent the better part of his entire time at home this morning, observing, getting excited and showing concern for a tiny, insignificant insect that I hadn’t even noticed was there until he pointed it out. It fascinated him and made him curious about life and his surroundings. But daily life required me to stifle that instinct in the interest of getting him to school. And that’s what life does to you.

Childhood is a strange time in a person’s life. We spend the first two to three years trying to encourage kids to speak and walk, followed by the next decade telling them to shut up and stop running around the house. Then the following ten years WISHING they’d talk to us. All the while, their ability to appreciate the small things and be fascinated with life slowly dwindles out of them until they become the typical, socially acceptable adult that keeps their “eyes on the prize”.

Sometimes it’s a good idea to take a step back and just stare at the clouds. We’re all born with the ability for imagination, so why would we ever stop using it? Some of the greatest ideas in the history of humankind were the result of imagination and dreaming. Take some time to slow down and smell the roses. No matter how much kids can be frustrating, sometimes they get it right. ☯

One Good Turn…

I had something interesting happen to me yesterday that I feel merits recounting. My Wednesday Morning was reasonably typical; I went about the morning getting my son’s lunch ready and working through the struggle that is getting him out of bed and dressed. I got everything lined up and ready, and we were out the door. I dropped Nathan off at his school bus and made my way to a local retailer to purchase some groceries that my wife and I agreed were needed for the days to come.

After completing my shopping and getting back into the car without anyone in public pissing me off (a rarity, these days) I drove home with the intention of unloading my groceries and getting back into pyjamas as I’m still feeling the effects of whatever ungodly illness has taken up residence in my immune system. Even the drive home went off without a hitch, which is also rare since city traffic usually does at least ONE thing to test the limits of my inner serenity. But I digress…

As I came around the curve of the crescent leading to my house, I spotted a lone person at the bus stop down the street. They appeared to be sitting in the snow. Thinking nothing of it, I parked my car, checked the trash bins at the street (it was garbage day yesterday) and turned to see a young woman walking towards me. I recognized her as the person who had been sitting in the snow at the bus stop, based on her clothing. She walked with a bit of a strange gait and walked right up and stopped in front of me. “Can I ask you a question?” Her voice was barely audible and I had to strain to hear what she was saying.

I replied “Sure”, thinking she’ll ask about the bus line or when it passes by. She explains that she’s been sitting in the snow for over fifteen minutes and hasn’t seen a bus yet and needs to get downtown to catch a connecting bus to get her home before work. She asked if there was any way I was willing to give her a ride downtown. I dislike the way this sounds, but her manner of speech and her mannerisms had me thinking she may have something not quite right about her.

Although I’m not in the habit of providing rides to random strangers, it IS winter time, she appeared a little worse for the wear and I had nothing going on that would be interrupted by taking ten minutes to give her a ride. I agreed to provide a ride as soon as I unloaded my groceries. She offered to help, but I draw the limit at letting a stranger carry my groceries and/or walk into my house. I explained to my wife what was happening and what I would be doing and we were on our way.

She introduced herself as Casey and explained that she had stayed at a friend’s house last night and was not from this area. Because of this, she was unfamiliar with the bus schedule and didn’t want to risk being late for work because of it. She was cold and shivering and was grateful for the ride. I brought her down to the main strip where all the primary bus lines travelled, which was where she indicated her destination needed to be. She thanked me and stepped out into the cold to catch her next bus.

Unfortunately, the world we live in has evolved in such a way that most people likely would have declined to help Casey or give her a ride. They likely would have been suspicious of her motives and/or wouldn’t want to burden themselves with someone else’s needs or concerns. They may even have outright ignored her as she approached. But at the end of the day, what did this cost me? Ten minutes of my time? Likely less than a dollar of fuel for my vehicle? What did it do for Casey? It got her to a location she was familiar with, so she could get home? Likely prevented her being late for work? Perhaps even showed her that there are some people who can be trusted?

It’s still okay to help others. Although one needs to protect oneself and their family, there are still instances where it’s not only acceptable to help out someone who asks, it’s the right thing to do. And as a society, doing what’s right should be a primary focus for everybody. I’m quite certain I’ll never see Casey again. But as she goes on with her day, the ride she got likely prevented her from being late and getting into trouble at work, perhaps even getting fired. And she’ll remember for the next while that some people are still willing to help, and it may restore or maintain her faith in humanity. ☯

Keep Moving Forward…

Time only moves in one direction: forward. Life is very much the same way; you can only move forward. This forward momentum needs to apply to all aspects of your life; family, career, hobbies… Imagine if you work extra hard at woodworking as a hobby. You get quite good and start developing some really nice pieces. Then you become stagnant and put it away, only to come back to it a year later. You may realize that you can no longer create the pieces you could before. You’ve essentially moved backwards. And backwards is bad!

We are the sum of our experiences, but yet so much more. I agree wholeheartedly that in order to prevent repeating past mistakes, it’s of the utmost importance to remember them. But one cannot allow oneself to live in that past. You have to allow yourself to move forward towards a better future. This is the only way to grow and enjoy the life you’re in.

“Now If You Know What You’re Worth, Then Go Out And Get What You’re Worth!”

– Rocky Balboa

Something I’ve always tried to explain to people is that I maintain certain successes by never standing still. Being stagnant or sedentary is not only a bad idea, it basically kills your motivation and your opportunities. You have to keep moving. I’m always moving. I’m always doing something, whether it’s a workout, writing my blog posts, running errands or playing with my son. My inability to sit still sometimes drives my family crazy. Hell, it occasionally drives me crazy! But all my accomplishments in life are a result of never standing still. You NEED to push forward and improve. You can’t allow yourself to live in the past or stand still.

Our past experiences contain a number of things that are important to us and become a part of who we are. Good memories and experiences, bad memories and experiences, traumas, friendships, relationships… they all play a role in how we become the people we are today. But the problem with living within that past is that we come to depend on things that my have been said and done during a time when circumstances and life were different. And those circumstances no longer exist. This is why it becomes important to move forward. It doesn’t mean you need to FORGET those circumstances. You simply need to keep moving despite what may have become of them.

The aspects you’re clinging to may no longer be in the same arena as you are. And that’s not only detrimental to you, it can be harmful on your life and your relationships as well. Learn to let go of the past and move forward. Look towards improving your life as it currently exists, and let the experiences of the past guide you, but never control you. ☯

It’s You Against You

“In The Warrior’s Code, There’s No Surrender; Though His Body Says Stop His Spirit Cries, NEVER!”

“Burning Heart” – Survivor

No matter what your reason for taking an active role in your fitness, and I’ve often said there are many, one of the things you need to remember is that you have nothing to prove to anybody other than yourself. Whether your preferred method of training is competitive or singular, team-based or opponent-based, the only real opponent you’ll ever be facing is yourself.

I’ve recently been reading Ronda Rousey’s book My Fight/Your Fight. If you haven’t picked it up, I highly recommend it. Although most famously known for being a pioneer in the world of UFC, she’s had a lifetime of experiences before that, and her book dives into many of the rudimentary reasons behind why we train so hard.

One of the things she brings up, and I’m paraphrasing here, is that if you fight yourself, who wins and who loses? The way I interpreted her words, she meant it mostly as a way of self-reflection and never demanding anything less than the absolute best of yourself. You want to compete in a fight tournament and win first place? Accept nothing less. Want to lose a few pounds and get into better shape? Allow yourself nothing less. Want to train for that next black belt degree even if it’s been ten years and you need to relearn some things from scratch? Okay, I’m making it personal… Time to move on.

“Our Greatest Glory Is Not In Falling, But Rising Every Time We Fall.”

Rocky Balboa

The bottom line, is that you need to push yourself to accept nothing but the absolute best from yourself. Not only should that be your only goal in life, it’s the LEAST you deserve. Others will get in the way; that much is guaranteed. People will be haters in the face of your success; that much is promised. But as long as you do one added push-up, run one minute faster or push yourself that little more, every time you work out, you’ll be guaranteed to succeed. ☯

Join The Club, Ladies…

I was recently asked if women could become Buddhist monks and if so, what were they called. Although it’s a simple question, the answer can become a little convoluted. As with any other religion, Buddhism has many offshoots, sects and backgrounds based on the country you happen to be in.

For the most part, the name for any woman who embraces a monastic lifestyle is referred to as a nun. This may seem like an oversimplification. Although mostly a modern English term, the word monk has been used to refer to both men and women in some monastic circles.

There are different terms in India, Thailand and other parts of the world, depending on what aspect of Buddhism the person in question may be involved with (Tibetan, Theravada or Mahayana). I’m smart enough not to try and spell them correctly, but you can Google “female Buddhist monk” or search Wikipedia for proper terminology.

The long and short of it is that woman CAN and DO in fact become monks, regardless of what term is used to represent them. They abide by a set of rules as stipulated by their faith, shave their heads and wear the vestments required by their monastic lifestyle.

I hope this answers the question, and offers information to any who may have been wondering. Obviously, I don’t think I need to remind everyone that women can do anything men can. In terms of Buddhism, there has always been female involvement ever since its creation. ☯

Shut The Door, You’re Letting My Darkness Out!

Everyone has a dark side. It’s inevitable; we grow up dealing with life’s problems and often with other people’s problems, and this causes us to accumulate a deep well of anger, resentment and whatever other negative emotions and feelings you can think of. Eventually, those feelings need to be vented before the well overflows and causes a mess (metaphorically speaking).

There’s no disputing that there’s plenty of suffering in the world. We deal with a lot of it, whether directly or indirectly. And every little piece of suffering can lend to evoking your dark side. Someone cuts you off in traffic, you don’t get your preferred assignment at work, some gutless coward accuses you of wrong-doing… All of it happens to promote releasing your inner dark side.

Proper mental and physical health requires that we find a healthy outlet for this negativity. By healthy, I don’t mean punching out that other driver or hiring an assassin… There are plenty of ways to alleviate some of the negative energy in your life WITHOUT harming others or growing your pet stomach ulcer, Hector!

  • Meditation: I know I play this particular harp to death, but meditation genuinely does help reduce your heart rate, blood pressure and helps eliminate negative thoughts. In most instances, I’ve even taken to meditating for at least ten minutes after workouts and it helps calm my system after pushing myself physically. This brings me to my next method…
  • Working Out: A good workout will help burn calories, lose weight and improve your mental health. Nothing quite helps you forget about the moron who nearly clipped your front bumper like a rigorous fitness session that leaves you sweaty and breathless. A good workout will also tire you out and help you get a better night’s sleep, which once again brings me to my next method…
  • Get A Good Night’s Sleep: I think we can all agree that lack of sleep can turn even the nicest person into a book-burning spawn of the devil. Getting a solid 7 to 9 hours of sleep will ensure your body gets the rejuvenating rest it needs to function properly the next day. There are a lot of things you can do to ensure this proper sleep, which includes having a regular bedtime routine and avoiding depressants such as alcohol. And here comes the next point…
  • Avoid Alternative Methods Of Dealing With Life: I’m no stranger to enjoying the occasional cold beer or delicious rum & coke, but the overuse of alcohol or ANY use of illicit drugs won’t solve the problem and may, in fact aggravate it. And as an addition to the sleep aspect, although alcohol may seem as though it helps you sleep, that sleep is usually temporary and not rejuvenative in the least. And the last point…
  • Hit Something: I’m not even a little bit kidding about this. Get a punching bag, makiwara board or a sparring partner (with gloves and pads, of course) and go to town. Performing actual strikes where you make physical contact with something has been proven to reduce stress and help alleviate anxiety, and calms you. And nothing helps more than taking out your anger or frustration on an object, as opposed to releasing that anger in the moment when something negative occurs in your daily life.

These are simply a few things that one can do to help deal with the darkness that fills one’s well, but there are plenty of others. Quick, simple online searches can provide plenty of relaxation exercises, fitness regiments and different methods of dealing with it all. The important thing to remember is that although it isn’t ideal to “release” your demon, there’s often nothing wrong with letting it out to play. ☯

Is There Ever A Good Reason To Fight?

As the title asks, is there ever a good reason to fight? Depending on your perspective, there just might be. Humans are strange creatures; we enjoy fighting for sport, recreation, for competition and for achievement. Most importantly, many of us choose to train and learn how to fight in order to defend ourselves.

Most martial artists will agree that we learn how to fight so that we don’t have to. Although this is likely true, there’s usually an unspoken line after that thought that says, “but the light help any individual who threatens me or my family!” And it’s true. You’d be surprised what one is capable of, when persons unknown (or sometimes known) threatens or harms someone important to you.

But the prospect of intentionally exchanging blows with someone just for the hell of it usually doesn’t cross our minds (unless you’re a pro boxer or fighter, in which case I’ll throw down for the many millions of dollars that would ensue). With that in mind, how does one usually focus their energy in the interest of training properly?

For some, it’s simply a matter of having enough drive to want the most out of their workout. But for others, it requires a bit of focus and concentration. Years ago, I was training with a couple of colleagues and we were doing drills on a punching bag. I was holding the bag for a guy who was basically the same height and weight as I was. He was putting his best effort into it, but the bag was barely budging.

When the time came for him to hold the bag for me, I had his teeth chattering after the first few punches. When we were done with the drill, he asked me how I could make my punches so effective. Obviously, previous strength and technique training goes a long way towards making any strike you perform more effective than the average layman.

But when you exercise or work on your fitness, especially in self-defence, it’s often important to focus on why you’re doing it. Picture this: your significant other, or perhaps one of your children, is threatened and/or attacked by someone. The only way to help them is to respond physically and fight back. Consider the fact that further injury could occur, if one were to pull a punch or kick at the penultimate moment. But if your family or loved one’s safety is at risk, you’ll put your entire heart and soul into that strike; you’ll do your absolute best to ensure that you end the threat against those you love.

This is what you need to do, whenever you train. Every punch you throw, every kick you execute, every time you strike that bag, you need to picture that very scenario. This ensures that you’ll develop that power you need to strike with all your heart and soul.

It’s inherently within my nature, and the foundation of my beliefs, to acknowledge that there’s enough suffering in the world. I have no intention of adding to that by exerting violence against someone else. The only exception is when my family or loved ones are threatened. If you include that as part of the reason for your training, you’ll increase your power and move that bag, every time. ☯

“You’re Not Buddhist…”

I’m not a monk. That requires a form of ordination that I’ve never submitted myself to. But I am a practitioner of Buddhism. Despite this fact, I’m not the type of person who flamboyantly brags about all the details of my life. And my faith happens to be one of those things that I keep to myself, unless it comes up organically in a given conversation.

Over the years, I’ve had situations where people have questioned my faith. This is probably the worst aspect of this post, since no person should be permitted to question another person’s faith. But this is exactly what I found myself having to deal with; and it was with someone I was involved with romantically.

Almost a decade ago, long before the arrival of my wife and sons, I was dating a girl from a nearby city. She was a bit to deal with, as most exes are, and the fact she lived four hours away from me made it no less difficult. You know how everyone always says that long-distance relationships don’t work? There just may be something to that…

Anyway, I was visiting this girl on a particular weekend where I had four days off. I took the girl in question for a drive to a neighbouring city, where we enjoyed dinner with her older sister. After some conversation and debating on key societal issues, the moment seemed to arrive organically into the conversation where I said, “Even for me, that’s a bit much. And I’m a Buddhist!” The girl I was dating looked me right in the eyes and spoke the words that echo in my head whenever my thoughts turn to her: “You’re not Buddhist! Stop saying that to people!”

It wasn’t just WHAT I said, but the way in which she said it. The sideways glance and roll of the eyes… It wasn’t just the passing on of the information she believed to be correct; it was the attitude she pushed behind it. I had been involved with her long enough for her to know some of the finer details about me, and that this wasn’t a joke.

“Excuse me?” I replied.

She replied, “You were born Catholic and were baptized. It’s cute that you do karate, but that doesn’t make you Buddhist. You really need to stop saying that to people.”

I was taken aback and confused. Had the woman I called my girlfriend actually just pull THAT card on me? I was at a loss, because walking out would have left her stranded almost an hour from her home. And staying meant that I had to find the self-control to keep that shit locked up until we left and had a chance for me to discuss it with her in private.

Folks, it absolutely IS true that my mother is French Catholic. At the age of less than two years old, my mother had me baptized into the Catholic faith. My mother and I have had a debate for decades over John the Baptist and the issues behind baptizing someone prior to the age of consent, but that doesn’t change the reality. YOU choose your faith. YOU decide what faith you observe.

There’s a part of me that feels that if I had never embarked on my journey in the martial arts, my stepping into Buddhism may not have happened either. But that was a choice that was mine and mine alone, and no one else had any right to infringe on that. You have that same choice, so be sure to exercise it.

Ultimately, you all know that I broke up with the girl in this story, as she happens NOT to be my wife. I’d love to say that her xenophobia against Buddhism didn’t play a role in our breakup, but I’m not a fan of lying. Even if you’re trying to find yourself and learn, it’s important to be true to yourself. No one has a right to question your faith, and only you can know what you truly believe in. ☯