Category: Buddhism & Philosophy

Revenge Is A Dish Best Served At Someone Else’s Buffet…

It’s no secret that I’ve been through quite a bit in the past three years. I always say that life doesn’t care about one’s plan, and I often say this because you can be prepared, trained and ready for any obstacle or issue that you may encounter and still fail. When I look at the course of my own life, I acknowledge that no matter how prepared I was, I certainly wasn’t ready for the nightmarish few years that were to follow. I can honestly say that the issues I overcame (and I DID overcome them!) shook my existence to its very core and threatened the nature of who I was and how I lived my life. Often, I wanted to blame other parties for these difficulties. And make no mistake; there was certainly and undoubtedly blame to be placed on the other person.

When facing any issue or problem in life, it’s important to remember that the cause or the “blame,” if you will, can be attributed to three involved parties. The first is the other person. This is obvious, but actions, words and/or choices made by the other person will certainly be a root cause of any problem you’re facing. The next aspect is fate. I use that term quite loosely and a better word honestly eludes me, at the moment. But it’s important to always remember that some elements of life are out of your control. Most people get angry and try to fix things when fate intervenes, but there isn’t much you can do about it. No sense getting angry at the rain for getting you wet!

The last involved party and the most important, is yourself. It is the height of ignorance to assume, on any occasion, that you have no involvement or responsibility for the problems you face. If we take a simple example, such as being late for work, it may have happened due to traffic, a passing train holding you up or some other factor. But one still needs to recognize their familiarity with the route, traffic and potential delays as well as taking responsibility for the time you left your home. This is a pretty simplistic example, but it goes to show that no matter what the situation, you also hold some responsibility for it. This is usually a hard pill to swallow for most people, as most prefer to place blame on the other individual. Whether this is because they feel better thinking they’re excused from blame or because they want a target to focus their anger is beyond me.

Once you’ve acknowledged that there is SOME self-blame involved and that some of it is out of your control, knowing who else may be responsible will often become irrelevant. And just to be clear folks, I’m not referring to an intentional, criminal act on someone else’s behalf! There is absolutely no reason for one person to commit a crime against another. But this doesn’t prevent some people from using their words, actions or choices in such a way that it causes you problems. The bottom line, whether you buy into this rhetoric or not, is that when people face/overcome any problems in life that involve another party, it usually prompts a comment that always makes me take pause: “Karma will get them!”

Karma has different meanings and connotations, depending on the religious background you follow or are familiar with. In most instances, it describes making your next life better by ensuring the sum of your actions in the current life are positive. Even if you don’t subscribe to the concept of reincarnation, karma can be considered something of a spiritual cause and effect. If you do good, good will happen and vice versa. The problem comes in when people start believing that karma is an instrument of vengeance or revenge. I have some news for you, folks. That’s not how karma works.

There are a lot of reasons why I SHOULD be angry and pissed off against the person responsible for all the grief in my life over the past few years. And despite the responsibility I accept for these issues, the person involved had no right and no reason to cause me difficulty. I have every confidence that karma will eventually catch up to this person. After all, do bad and bad things will happen, as well. But the important thing, which allows me to move on and maintain my sanity, is being able to let it go and walk away. I I were to sit and watch for this person to step off a cliff, that would make me no better and likely worse, than this person was to begin with.

I’ve had a number of people share their thoughts that I should pursue this person, sue them or take some sort of responsive action against this person. Karma is self-regulating and I am not its instrument. At least, I never KNOWINGLY am. And that’s where people need to understand the significant difference between karma and revenge. Revenge involves direct action on a person’s behalf, does nothing to fix what has happened and will only contribute to the suffering of the world. Karma eventually catches up and happens independently, with no vengeful agenda behind it.

Don’t even get me started on suing someone. I absolutely abhor the prospect of suing someone. That’s just a personal perspective, but that always seems to be everyone’s go-to, nowadays. “Oh, I’m gonna sue them…” There’s a time and place for that kind of thing and is meant to be recuperative, not punitive. And one also needs to recognize the inherent difference between “revenge” and “justice.” One has nothing to do with the other. Will karma get them in the end? I always tend to believe so. But I’ll draw no pleasure from it and it’s important not to halt one’s life to see it happen. Food for thought… ☯️

Relaxing In A Pressure Cooker

Life can come at you pretty fast, and it rarely cares what you may be dealing with at any given moment. Challenges and work assignments will continue to pile up, regardless of the fact you may feel that you’ve “got enough on your plate” or can’t keep up. The big problem as well, is that society is still quite a bit behind the times as it relates to acknowledging that sometimes, a person needs a mental health day or to simply shut down and recover from whatever they may be facing.

Unfortunately for us, life doesn’t work that way. Even though some people have the ability and resources to take a step back and let their heads cool from the pressures of life, we’re not all so lucky. Eventually, it can become overwhelming, and cause a variety of issues like burnout, depression and negative thoughts. It’s important to remember to take steps to ensure that these don’t happen. After all, your mental health and wellbeing is your responsibility.

They say that life will never pile on more than you can handle. If this is true, my shoulders must be capable of bearing quite a bit. Last Friday, a significant amount came piling on. The day before I had noticed a strange sound coming from the family vehicle. The way I describe it is to compare it to the winding up sound that Doc Brown’s DeLorean makes when it accelerates in Back to the Future. Unfortunately, my vehicle wasn’t travelling through time. I called that evening to make an appointment to get it repaired and was asked to drop the vehicle off at 8 am the following morning.

The next morning, I began my typical work-from-home Friday at 7 am. It was raining heavily and unfortunately, we discovered that our roof was leaking. I discovered it by accident, as water was driving between floor boards in the basement. This struck me as odd, until I realized water was falling from the attic by way of the space between the inner walls and into the basement. in short order, every light fixture in the upstairs was dripping with water.

Great. As if dealing with the vehicle wasn’t enough of an issue for the end of the week. I immediately sent an email to the roofing company I had received an estimate from, last May. I realized it was 7:30 am and I needed to head out in order to drop off the SUV. My wife reminds me that she has her first vaccination appointment at 5:40 and to ensure that the garage will return our vehicle prior to that. I drove down to the garage and dropped off the SUV. Then, I walked to the bus stop that should take me back home. The rain was practically torrential, soaking my legs and feet within minutes.

I arrived at the bus shelter and checked the arrival schedule on the inner wall. The #5 was scheduled to arrive at 7:55 am. Splendid! It was already past 7:45, so I had less than ten minutes to wait. Then, I noticed a #5 on the opposite side of the road heading towards downtown. Shit. Seems that the arrival schedule was meant for the other direction. I did a quick Google maps search and discovered that the next bus towards home would be in 30 minutes. The physical walk would only be 20. I had the choice of waiting for half an hour, followed by a ten minute bus ride or get my legs moving and be home in 20 minutes. I opted to walk.

By the time I got home, I was soaked through, cold and sniffling. The water situation at home had worsened. The baby’s room was leaking water down the east wall, resulting in paint bubbles. I decided to step it up and phone the roofing company, not satisfied to wait for an email response. I got no answer and left a detailed voicemail. I changed clothes and tried to get back to work. Key word was “try.” I should mention that it was one of those so-called “teacher development days” and Nathan was home for the day. He and the baby were blessing us with their usual colourful display of noise and destruction. Work was impossible.

I only had one meeting scheduled. I arranged to have it an hour earlier, then told my boss I would be taking a vacation day. He agreed that I had a significant amount on my plate for one day. The stress and pressure of everything happening at once started to pile up. Such pressure affects different people in different ways. For me, it makes me focused and committed to solving the problem. I’ve always been like that. get a problem, solve a problem. I think Lee Child’s character, Jack Reacher, said that at some point.

I got the car fixed. I was able to grab the correct bus back to the area where the garage was located. With the vehicle properly repaired, I went back home and decided to ease the sting of the day by ordering pizza for everyone. The rain had stopped and with it, the drips in each respective room ground to a halt. The crisis was averted. For now. I did a few work-related tasks and had some food, and the world looked just a little bit better.

George S. Patton Jr. once said, “Pressure makes diamonds.” And it’s quite accurate. Sometimes the intense pressure we’re exposed to in our daily lives can lead to very beautiful things, as long as we’re willing to see it through and persevere. It’s the natural example of how life doesn’t care about one’s plans. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make them. AND keep fighting the good fight, even when the odds seem overwhelming. Food for thought…

in closing, the roofing company didn’t get back to me before end-of-day. guess I’ll have to chase them down this week and get my roof shingles seen to. The previous owner of our house, may he rest in peace, re-shingled the roof almost fifteen years ago. But he only did the front half, facing the street. Ironically, the only rooms that had water leakage were the ones on the back side of the house. Where the shingles weren’t replaced. Yet another lesson that if you’re going to do any thing, you must do it properly and completely. Or else suffer the consequences of your shortcuts. of course, I’m suffering the consequences of someone else’s shortcuts, but the message is still the same. (Thanks for the post idea, Boris!) ☯

Goodness And Right, My Goodness!

Roy T. Bennet once said, “We should be brave to stand up for what we truly believe even if we are standing alone.” I first heard a version of this quote in 2014, when I was posted in a small, southern Saskatchewan community that had it painted on one of the walls in their high school. theirs read, “Stand up for what you believe, even if you’re standing alone.” I like both versions and they both ring true with me, considering they tend to diverge slightly in their wording.

But today’s post isn’t about what one believes in. It’s about being good. What is a good person? Is it constantly doing good deeds? Is it doing unto others as you’d have them do unto you? Or is it simply the act of living simply and minding your own business without bringing harm to others? I could easily argue that being a good person is a combination of all those things. You don’t need to wear a cape and run around saving people all the time, but I believe you should damn well give it your best if you find someone who needs your help. After all, it’s also been said that the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

I think that if you can live a genuine life of not causing suffering in others, you can easily be a good person. Of course, that’s the Buddhist side of me, coming out. But there are so many things that are easy to do in life in order to be good… Simple things, like holding a door open for others, helping someone carry something heavy to their car or helping a friend pack up and move from one home to another…

The possibilities are endless. But I think the ultimate test comes from seeing what you do when you aren’t being watched. Get your minds out of the gutters, you perverts! I don’t mean anything nasty! I mean what actions and steps you take to be good when there are no consequences and no one is watching to see what you’d do. I think this speaks to the nature of a person’s character and how “good” they truly are.

One really good example of this, is the shopping cart conundrum. I’m sure you’ve read about this on Facebook or some other online forum. Basically, the question has been asked whether you return your shopping cart to the cart corral after you’ve loaded up your car or if you leave the cart sitting in the parking lot and drive away. I’ve heard some folks say that it helps with job creation, justifying the need for a job position that fills the role of collecting these carts. Others say that it’s cruel to make minimum wage workers scavenge the lot for these carts in the depth of winter or sweltering heat of summer, to collect the carts you failed to bring to the corral.

The reality is that returning your cart costs you nothing. It usually takes thirty seconds to a minute of your time (big deal) depending on where the corral is located. But that simple act ensures that you prevent hazards to other vehicles in the parking lot, make life easier for the lot attendant who collects the carts and ensures that there are more carts available inside the store once they are collected. It also prevents blocking potential parking spots. If you DON’T return your cart, there is zero penalty, zero consequences and zero repercussions against you (except karma, but I’ll be nice and won’t go there). So returning the cart is a pure act of a good person, whether one believes they need to do it or not.

This is just one example, but there are plenty of others. Holding the door is another good example. Do you HAVE to hold open a door for someone? If your momma taught you well, you will. But you don’t have to. There are no penalties or repercussions if you don’t. You may even encounter a surprising number of people who won’t be grateful when you do. But it’s another pure act of goodness that only satisfies you, really.

Being a good person can mean a lot of different things to different people. At the end of the day, as long as you’re keeping things simple, doing what’s right and staying consistent within the laws of whatever place you live in, it’s hard to go wrong. Just remember that even when no one is looking, karma still gets its due. And if you do great things when people are watching but bad thing when you’re alone, that shit’ll catch up to you. Guaranteed. Food for thought… ☯

There’s No Alternative To Zen

Modern life can be pretty hectic, and the requirements of daily life can get in the way of some of the things we do for our own benefit and well-being. Mostly, I’m referring to my study of Zen Buddhism and meditation. I have to admit that the past three years have derailed a lot of the self-discipline and routines I had in place for myself. once of the biggest gaps I have is the ability to sit in relative peace and quite and meditate, uninterrupted. Think about it… When was the last time you’ve found yourself able to find some total silence?

Even as I write this, I can hear vehicle traffic, engines revving and the sound of my own house’s air conditioning unit droning away. Silence? Yeah, right… I’m sitting in relative peace in my garage to write, but silence still eludes me. And finding time to meditate can be difficult, if you live a modern life. There’s work obligations, familial obligations and overall life obligations. It can make it difficult to find one’s inner Zen. And if you’re not careful, you can find yourself trying to find an alternative to the bliss of Zen.

Meditation can provide countless benefits to the body and mind. Not only is it relaxing but it can improve concentration, blood pressure and heart rate. It can aid in the healing of injuries, mitigate pain and provide benefits for a proper sleep cycle. So why WOULDN’T you meditate? Haven’t you been paying attention as you read??? BECAUSE LIFE GETS IN THE FREAKING WAY!!! When you get used to meditation, the lack of it can leave a pretty noticeable hole in your existence, and people will often try to substitute.

I have to admit that I’ve been guilty of this, myself. Indulging in a smooth cigar, having a couple of strong drinks or some other calming vice can often seem like a good idea. But the bad usually outweighs the good. And regret always sets in. And if you guys know anything about me, it’s that I don’t believe in regret. So, what’s a person to do?

The ideal solution would be to find an hour that you can allot for yourself. this can either be first thing in the morning before the family wakes up and your daily routine starts up, or lastly before bed. This also has the added benefit of sending you off to slumber with a relaxed body and mind, which can promote a better night’s sleep. The bottom line is, this is one of those situations where “there’s a will, there’s a way.”

There’s no alternative to Zen. So even when life gets in the way, it’s incumbent on you to find the time to make it a priority. There’s always an opportunity to make it happen. Meditation has been a staple of my life for over twenty years. When life gets harsh and difficult, it’s been one of the best coping methods imaginable. So maybe I need to put down the cigar and step back into meditative bliss. Food for thought… ☯

Just For Laughs

Sometimes if you take yourself or life too seriously you may miss out on the opportunity to smile, once in a while. I consider it just as important to be able to laugh at myself, and I’m the last person who could ever be considered over sensitive about the aspects of my life. With that in mind, I found the below image worth a laugh. I think it does well to explain the need to eliminate suffering, I may have posted it before, who knows? After almost three years of writing daily posts, I’ve lost track… Enjoy, and happy Wednesday! ☯

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

What is respect? Is it having people move out of your way, when you approach? Is it having them hold the door for you or invite you to go first? Perhaps it’s the immediate and unconditional obedience of people who are under your authority… Different people have different definitions of respect but not all of them are correct or accurate. I know that for some older generations, that last one is usually the case. I can remember my grandmother, who always DEMANDED immediate and unconditional obedience and respect from her grandchildren. That doesn’t always produce the best results and in today’s modern world, respect can be a fleeting thing.

Without muddying the waters too badly, respect can be easily defined as admiring someone based on their abilities and achievements, while having due regard for their feelings, traditions and rights. So, what does that admiration entail? Is that obedience aspect a requirement? Most people would be inclined to say no. I respect my friends. But I wouldn’t go so far as to say I would obey them. Would I hold doors open for them? Absolutely. The concept of respect has the tendency to be subjective and not always clear to some people.

Let’s take one of the most commonly assumed shows of disrespect: a disgruntled customer. Now, the concept of “the customer is always right” hasn’t really been a thing in quite a long time. For the most part, retail chains are beginning to understand all too well that the phrase that was coined in the early 1900’s in order to ensure customers didn’t feel cheated or deceived, is no longer being exercised in that spirit. But that doesn’t stop certain customers from using the slogan and expecting it to be obeyed.

So, a disgruntled customer comes up to your till. You scan their items and they immediate take notice that the $3.99 item they wanted didn’t scan as $3.30 as they expected. This is an actual scenario I dealt with, back in my retail days. The customer immediately becomes irritated and agitated, perhaps even name-calling and berating the cashier, who is basically powerless to do anything beyond scanning and charging the listed price. Then, they pull the classic trump card out of their pocket… “Get me your manager, NOW! Don’t you know that the customer is always right?”

I walk up and ask the customer how I can help, who then proceeds to spit out the story in as exaggerated and emotional manner possible. All while demanding respecting (DEMANDING) as she is the customer and her patronage pays our salaries… yada, yada, yada… While she’s busy unloading a flood of verbal diarrhea on me, I send a merchandiser to check on the item to see if we had incorrectly priced it. The result was that the price was correct but the item next to it was a bottle with a lesser amount, which resulted in the lower price. I could only assume that the customer’s current bottle was sitting in the wrong slot when she picked it up.

Without getting into the law and applicable legislation that pertains to pricing on retail shelves, I could see that there was no clear way of dealing with this person as they were absolutely adamant that they were right. So I did the only thing I could think of to diffuse the situation and end it before my cashier broke down in tears: I pulled three quarters out of my pocket and handed it to her. When she asked me what i was doing, I responded that I was paying her back the difference in price. She was floored, and said she couldn’t take money from pocket as it should come from the till. I calmly explained that no, it shouldn’t because we don’t provide refunds because something was picked up from the wrong spot on the shelf. But since she believes her patronage pays my salary, she’s welcome to money out of my pocket.

This is only one example, and a pretty common one, of how this customer disrespected the employee. The irony is that the employee was simply doing her job, one in which the customer likely wouldn’t want to do. And what’s even more hilarious is when someone irate is making a total ass of themselves but yet still seems to consider it appropriate to DEMAND respect.

Respect is a fluid thing, and subjective to the person. Respect should be earned and never demanded, although there are instances where respect can be given depending on the situation. The important thing to remember is other people’s perspective. If you can respect someone else’s perspective, it makes it all that easier for others to respect yours. ☯

Learn To Be Still

I was sitting at the open mouth of my garage with my son Nathan, last Friday. I was enjoying a cigar and much-needed after-work beer and he was being his usual energetic, hyper self. Nathan has never been much of one to sit still, and he comes by that honestly. Especially considering I come from a long dynasty of ADD and OCD individuals. I’ve always had difficulties sitting still for extended periods of time, and I’ve developed a number of noticeable (and sometimes annoying) ticks in my attempts to control it.

Lucky for me that I’ve had martial arts and meditation to help control and focus my energy and attention. I’ve been able to get through my childhood without the usual doctor visits and the medications that can sometimes ensue when doctors diagnose a kid with multiple acronyms. But not everyone has that benefit or can pursue that lifestyle. Although I was willing to put the time and effort in, especially since I spent my childhood watching my older brother swallow tons of pills every day, Nathan is very much his own person and prefers to ride the wave. He enjoys his energy and prefers to run, jump and use it in tandem with his youthful energy.

He finally came to a momentary halt when he realized I was watching the final fight scene from Avengers: Endgame and came running over to watch with me. He set up a chair next to me and watched until the clip was over, then indicated he wanted more. I then suggested that he simply sit still and observe life. He laughed at me and said I was being weird. But he sat in a chair and looked at me expectantly, as though I would be revealing some great, unknown secret. So I did…

Here’s the exchange that ensued:

ME: “Look outside towards the street. What do you see?”
Nathan: (Laughs) “Nothing!”
ME: “Look closer. There’s a lot going on, out there. What do you see?”
Nathan: “I still don’t see anything…”
ME: “Want to know what I see?”
Nathan: “Yes…”
ME: “There’s a breeze flowing through the branches of the trees. Some squirrels are wandering the grass and trees. I can hear some birds chirping, here and there. I can also hear some of the vehicle traffic coming from the highway. There are clouds in the sky and people walking on the street.”
Nathan: “Wow, you’re right…”
ME: “There’s always life happening around you, if you’re just able to sit still and watch. And listen. Sometimes, sitting still is good. And important.”

We sat there for almost half an hour, with it being one of the rarest cases in memory of Nathan sitting still without being told to be quiet or sit still. I didn’t want to break the spell, despite the time and the fact that it was only 1 degree outside and actually quite chilly. I like to think that he may have learned something and actually recognized the importance of controlling his energy and sitting still. The follow day, he was back to his usual, rambunctious self.

We don’t always see everything that happens in the world around us. Our daily lives make it as such that we usually only focus on our own existence while concerning ourselves about the worries of the future. But there is so much more to the world, even in our own small piece of it. Maybe if we could see it from high above, we’d recognize that fact. But sometimes you’ll notice all the life around you, if you can simply learn to be still… ☯

Life Is Like A Camera…

One of the better aspects of returning to social media, is the fact that I’ve had the opportunity to reconnect with some friends I’ve been out of touch with for decades. Considering the fact that I graduated from high school twenty five years ago, it’s no surprise to learn that many of us have changed and taken a direction in life that may not have been assumed, at the time. One of those people has a tendency of sharing little nuggets of wisdom and motivation on his Facebook feed, and I wanted to share one of them with you, today. I don’t know what his source was, and it’s translated from French, so bear with me…

Life is like a camera…
ZOOM in on what’s important…
CAPTURE the food moments…
DEVELOP the best ones and
DELETE the rest!
If you don’t get the results you wanted or wished for,
RELOAD and RESHOOT.

I felt the comparison, as well as the thought behind this was nice. I feel it sends the message that although there’s good and bad in life, it’s important to acknowledge that you should focus on the good and capture those moments that make you happy. I don’t know, maybe I’m just feeling wistful today. Happy Saturday, everyone! ☯

Be Happy, Not Rich. But If You’re Happy, You’re Rich…

What would you do tomorrow, if you won the lottery today? That’s the dream, isn’t it? To win big at the lottery so that you can either retire early, travel the world, enjoys the pleasures of life without the encumbrance of work, bills and debt. I’ve always heard that “Money can’t buy happiness…” While this may true, I’ve usually quipped that I’d prefer to find out for myself. And perhaps someday I’ll get that chance, since I partake of the occasional lottery ticket. But that day is not today.

The way of the modern world is as such that money is a necessary evil in order to exist with any modicum of comfort and sustainability. Unlike previous generations, who lived without the benefits of internet, online shopping and grocery stores, they lived off the land, growing their own crops, making their own clothing and taking life one day at a time without necessarily knowing what was happening in the rest of the world. Sometimes, ignorance can be bliss.

The thing is, life was never meant to be easy. Most things in existence will always seek to take the path of least resistance, so it would make sense that we would choose to suddenly come into a large sum of money and live a life of ease as opposed to working hard and punching a clock. But that isn’t the way of things. And as The Notorious B.I.G. once said, “Mo money, mo problems…” The more monetary value your household holds, the more likely that you’ll face other issues, such as increasingly higher bills and debts. Money can lead to an endless spiral of needing more and more…

I remember a story from years ago, when I was young and foolish and decided to join a multi-level marketing company (I’m looking to start a war with y’all, so if you’re part of an MLM, no disrespect). We were asked by one of the big wigs giving the presentation what we hoped to get out of life and joining this company. There were about a dozen of us, and he came to us one-by-one for an answer. Most people answered exactly what you’d expect:

  • “I want to retire early…”
  • “I want to be debt-free…”
  • “I want financial independence…”
  • “I want to own a big house…”

All the answers provided indicated some desire to have a life of ease and comfort, to lessen the burden of everyday life and make things easier. I watched in silence until the presenter came to me and I gave him an answer that threw everyone for a loop. I answered, “I want to be happy.” He looked at me for a moment with a mixture of confusion at my answer and frustration that I wasn’t answering on-par with the rest of the sheep, but continued on with his presentation without missing a beat. Leave it to me to provide an answer that would throw him for a loop.

It didn’t take me long to recognize that MLM’s were not for me and that I wouldn’t find happiness there. And like most people, I had to try it to find out. But one of the other attendees came to me after the presentation when we were enjoying some coffee and socializing, and asked me to explain my answer to the presenter’s question. My answer was this:

“I don’t need to have millions of dollars to have a fulfilling life. I just need to be happy. I can do without a mansion, so long as there’s a clean, comfortable roof over my head, food in my fridge and clothes on my back. What I need in order to be happy is simply having the ability to live. What I mean by that is, if I want to grab a medium cup of Tim Horton’s coffee every morning on my way to work, I want to be able to do so without having to calculate if I have enough money in the bank. That’s only one example, but it demonstrates that I don’t need to be rich; I simply need to do better.”

Money CAN’T buy happiness. It can certainly ease financial burden and allow access to resources one may not have, without the added money. But happiness comes from what you get out of life and how you achieve it. Working and being out in the world is about more than the salary you make; it’s about the self-accomplishment you feel and the impact you have on the world. THAT’s the lesson! THAT’s the message we need to pass on to future generations.

I have a friend who often feels he needs the top quality of everything; half-million dollar home, huge camper, newest vehicles and all the fun little “adult” toys one can obtain (And I mean stuff like a hot tub or motorcycle! Get your minds out of the gutter!) I remember when this fried came to visit our home for the first time, when we moved to Regina. We had purchased a reasonably-sized, reasonably-priced bungalow. I remember seeing the look on his face when he walked through; almost looking down his nose at everything and judging the house based on its appearance. It felt as though he couldn’t get out fast enough.

Sure, the house needed (needs) repairs. Sure, it isn’t a grandiose mansion. But you know what? It has the room we need at a price that doesn’t have us living poor to make payments. Meanwhile, the friend in question may have a shiny marble of a house, but he often complains that he has difficulty with his month-to-month. I may be straying a bit off-topic here, but the point is that our home has warmth. Our home has comfort and we can make do with what we have and be happy. And that’s what’s important.

Life isn’t meant to be easy. As a colleague of mine commented last week, “What if it were all easy? What if?” Where would the challenge of life be, if there were no obstacles to overcome. The struggle is ultimately part of the journey, and each journey is unique. So, stop wishing for what you don’t have and start working towards what you want. The results of your efforts will bring you unbridled happiness and once that happiness is rooted in you, you’ll be richer than you can imagine. ☯

“Do Not Pray For An Easy Life, Pray For The Strength To Endure A Difficult One.”

– Bruce Lee

The Chi Effect

There’s no arguing that positive energy is contagious. Ask yourself how many times you’ve felt in a bit of a foul mood, only to be lifted up and singing along with a great, upbeat song on the radio… Positive energy creates positive results; a fact that more people should be able to recognize. By the same token, you can be in an excellent mood, only to be brought down by someone negative who is in a bad mood or spreading sad information. I was chatting about this very thing a short while ago with a colleague of mine from work.

I’ve never been one of those martial arts practitioners who put a great deal of stock into being able to “project” energy or that my Chi or Hara could be used as a weapon. There’s are plenty of idiots on YouTube professing that kind of thing. But there’s no arguing that we are all and everything is energy. Not only do basic physics say so, it’s probably one of the few points of existence that both science and religion agree on. At my core, I’m made of energy. You’re made of energy. The screen you’re reading this post on is energy. The entire world and all things are composed and made of energy.

If you’re still reading and aren’t convinced that I’m nuts, I bring this up because although I don’t believe in projecting energy to knock down opponents (There are seriously people who believe they can do this! Google it!), I can admit to being able to focus my energies into my strikes, my focus and my concentration. This is an entirely different ball game, and I’ve experienced it firsthand while training in karate. Just imagine those times when you’ve been floored by a workout but somehow dug deep and found the strength to carry on for that last little bit. That’s tapping into your energy!

For the purposes of this post, I refer primarily to Chi, because it’s more widely recognized as the vital energy flow that all people have. In karate, we usually refer to the Hara, which is defined as the focused centre of the body where the person’s true nature and vitality reside. But when I say “Hara,” I usually get confused looks. And I can admit that there are some differences, so since we’re discussing energy I’ll simply stick with Chi. Still with me? Good.

Decades ago, when I was younger and more about the skill than the meaning, I began noticing a certain phenomenon around my Sensei. Random people would often approach him and speak to him, sometimes to take photographs or simply ask how his day was going. I never thought much about it beyond considering it odd, considering there was usually a number of us around but he would usually be the only one approached. Then one day, such an encounter finally had me ask the question.

We were in Naha, Okinawa. The year was 2001 and I was 23-years old. I was full of the ol’ proverbial piss & vinegar and I was raring to train. But since the temperatures in Okinawa during the month of October reached somewhere in the low 40 degrees Celsius, Sensei felt our afternoons could best be spent relaxing on the beach. I should have been willing to relax and enjoy the sun and sand, but like I said: I was too focused on the skill than the meaning. So it irked me to no end that we were just sitting there, when we were actually in a Japanese prefecture and there was so much to see.

Anyway, Sensei was walking along the beach with a towel around his shoulders when five or six Okinawans approached him and started talking to him and asked to take photographs with him. I had seen similar things happen with him on numerous occasions, so I asked his wife, who was on the beach with us why this always seemed to be happening. She explained that it seemed as though people had always been drawn to him, without him ever trying or drawing attention to himself. It struck me as an odd thing. Until some years later, when it started happening to me.

Once my youthful shenanigans started dying away and I became more of an instructor and more about the art than the skill, I started to notice that people would often approach me without reason. Sometimes it would just be a general “Hi, how’s your day been?” But sometimes I would have random strangers approach me and talk to me at length without reason, without knowing me and without begging for change or trying to sign me up to their multi-level marketing scheme. It seemed as though I could manage to provide advice, encouragement and perk people up without much effort. Folks would often even come to me for advice, even if I never put myself out as someone who would provide it. I never paid much attention to it; until it went away.

The last three years have been the most difficult years of my life. I’ve been depressed, despondent and at my lowest. I’ve had some good times during those three years, such as the birth of my son Alexander. But it’s been rough waters and it’s taken some time for me to see bright shores ahead. They say you never know what you’ve got until it’s gone. I never noticed the effect I described above disappearing, until last weekend when it came back out of nowhere.

I was at the local corner store, checking my lotto ticket. Yeah, yeah, I know… Let’s move on as the lotto ticket isn’t the topic of the post. As I was walking towards my vehicle, a random elderly lady walked towards me and asked me how my day was going. I replied that it was going well. I thought it strange that she was walking towards me, specifically since there were about a dozen vehicles and people milling about. I thought that perhaps she’d ask me for money or something. I hate that I even think this way, but the world has made me this way. She approached and told me she was feeling very happy today as it was Mother’s Day and her children would be bringing her supper.

We chatted for several minutes about her children and how her day was going as well. When I mentioned my own children, she asked me to wish my wife a Happy Mother’s Day as well. I promised that I would. We wished each other a great remainder of our weekend and she carried on her way. When I got into the car, I recognized the phenomenon for what it was and when my wife asked, I explained that it was the “Chi Effect,” and sat in bewilderment for a few moments as I recognized that I had been lacking it for the past few years. It made me happy. It renewed my sense of how my life had changed.

I’m not a guru or a sage. I don’t profess to project my aura, I don’t practice Reiki and I believe my energy is my own and no one else’s. I’m not deeply rooted in metaphysics, although I will confess that I’ve studied it a bit. But what I do believe is that positive energy is contagious, and I believe that when you’re happy and you give off that positive energy, others will pick up on it. And I think that’s what happened with this lady and I, last weekend.

My life and existence have involved the martial arts in every respect. I’ve learned and developed to a level that I realize that the same aspects I’ve seen in Sensei in my younger years are now being reflected in me. The past couple of months have seen some of the shadows lifted from my soul. And the past month in specific has seen me happier than I’ve been in a long, long time. And I think that people can sense that, albeit in a passive way. As my wife once said, many years ago, “happiness heals.” Perhaps some new wounds are starting mend, with some old wounds beginning to make way for new happiness. Food for thought… ☯