Category: Buddhism & Philosophy

A Little Motivation…

This is one of those instances where I’m keeping the post short in the interest of simply sharing a little motivation. I found this little paragraph online somewhere and as per usual, I can’t seem to recall where I did. I’m sure one could find it, if one chose to Google and search a bit but I’m more interested in the thought behind it than the source. Here it is…

“You Can Rise Up From Anything.
You Can Completely Recreate Yourself.
Nothing Is Permanent.
You’re Not Stuck. You Have Choices.
You Can Think New Thoughts.
You Can Learn Something New.
You Can Create New Habits.
All That Matters Is That You Decide Today
And You Never Look Back.”

I like this. It’s simple and concise, straight to the point. It’s shown as “anonymous,” so I honestly don’t know the source, but I think it speaks to the fact that it’s important to remember that life rarely cares about one’s plan. Despite that fact, one can fight and get through just about anything, so long as you give it the effort it deserves. When faced with suffering and adversity, people often give up, throw in the towel and curl into a little ball and cry. Some may even choose to lose themselves in some rather unfortunate indulgences. But these are usually only a temporary escape and never a solution.

We all have it within us to reinvent ourselves. This is not to say that you shouldn’t stick to your guns if you’re happy with who and where you are. But if you’re NOT happy, then you owe it to yourself and to those you love to fight through and make a change. It may be rough waters to navigate, but once you clear it and see the shore, it’ll be a better life. A happier life. Food for thought… ☯️

Metaphysical Battles

We live in a world of entitlement. As technology grows and continues to make our lives easier, people have become complacent and demand that more things be provided and done for them instead of doing it themselves. And even when these things ARE done for them, they have a tendency to be displeased no matter what the outcome. If “A” is provided, they’ll demand that “B” be provided as well. Once “A” and “B” have been provided, they’ll complain that providing “C” wasn’t thought of and provided automatically.

If nothing was provided, they’d complain that nothing was. This is a pretty rudimentary and unspecific example, but an accurate portrayal of the direction that society as a whole is taking. Another good example is the meme I recently saw online where someone explained that social media is like comparing apples to oranges and there will always be SOMEONE who gets offended by the comparison and then accuse the writer of being ignorant because they never bothered to mention bananas and pears in their comparison. And all the while, all parties concerned seek validation and entitlement, never understanding that anything in life worth having won’t come without personal sacrifice, cost and effort.

Laziness is insidious and can cause significant damage in one’s life. If I look at myself, as a Diabetic, laziness will cause increased health problems and complications and could potentially lead to death. So, what about those who aren’t Diabetic? Laziness can lead to the same result, albeit maybe a touch slower. As I’ve often written before, the basic formula to a happy, healthy life is threefold. Energy creates life. Life requires movement. Movement promotes energy. You need all three of those factors in a continued cycle in order to live well.

If someone decides to eliminate movement and becomes a couch potato, their energy will become stagnant, they’ll become prone to illness, gain weight, and face a number of physical complications including but not limited to, blood pressure issues, circulatory issues and cardiac issues. Not least of which is the psychological impact that laziness has on a person. One’s mood and overall mental well-being depends on staying active, going to work, spending time outdoors and making a conscious effort.

Where am I going with all of this? Well, besides the aspect of staying healthy, both physically and psychologically, one needs to consider that life owes you nothing. You are entitled to NOTHING. Read that last sentence again, because it’s important. Although I have no illusions of being able to change the entire world’s perspective through a blog post, I think it’s important to acknowledge that life doesn’t care about one’s plan and a big part of one’s personal suffering generally comes from one’s own doing. Or undoing.

Let’s say you’ve been out of work for a period of time, a scenario I feel many people can relate to, considering COVID-19 has sent many people home for a variety of reasons (I miss the days where I didn’t have to reference COVID-19, constantly). Now, you’re in need of a new job. Although there can be some appeal to staying at home and letting your head cool and consider your options, life won’t get better and a job won’t magically land in your lap by staying on the couch watching your favourite re-runs of the Price is Right. The only way to accomplish anything is to shake the laziness off and step out into the light and make it happen for yourself.

I’m a little bit jaded and biased because I’m like a pit bull. When I’m faced with difficulty, I fight like a dying warrior and don’t stop until I’ve reached my goal. But imagine how much further humanity would be if everyone fought this way? Instead of having a sense of entitlement and thinking the world owes you something, step up to life, toe-to-toe and fight it out on your own terms. It may not necessarily mean you’ll succeed, but at least you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing your tried your best. Instead of sitting on the couch crying like an infant. Food for thought…

There are always battles to be fought, in life. I’ve always been a proponent that fighting should always be a last resort, but I’ve ALWAYS meant in the context of a physical altercation. The battles we fight in life may be required to make things better. Especially in light of the fact that better things will never happen on their own. You gotta want it. And own it. I recently purchased a wooden-framed quote by Theodore Roosevelt that I find fitting. I’ll share it in the photo below. Good luck! ☯️

Fair Weather Friends…

Friendships are important. More so than people realize. Making one’s way through life without peers in whom to confide can be difficult. Some people do it, but even they would need to admit that there’s a significant downside and difficulty to it. It’s almost something that society expects, as well. The old prospect of being an external loner with no friends or family is a bygone concept, and some professional aspects of one’s life may even require friendships.

Ever try applying for a job that requires “personal” references? I’ve applied for jobs that have required ten of them. Imagine, when your known circle of immediate friends doesn’t even extend to ten, how badly you scramble to suddenly contact people you may not have chatted with in years in order to ask if they’d be willing to act as a reference for you? It can leave you feeling embarrassed, even if what friendships you do retain are no one’s business but your own.

Outside the employment arena, friendships are important for a number of reasons. Having friends teaches us how to associate and communicate with others, how to function outside the realm of our own mind and how to act and conform (for lack of a better word) within the boundaries of normal society. Whatever the hell “normal” is, these days.

A small problem that I’ve noticed, especially in recent years, is the sudden disappearance of a good number of people who would easily identify themselves as “friends.” You’ll notice that I refer to “them” as opposed to “us,” because although we can easily tell who we’re friends with or not, some of them may not feel the same. As a child, I can remember having a small circle of peers that I would easily identify as friends. As I got older and our respective personalities evolved and changed, these friends moved on, relationships were altered, old friends went and new friends came. But there were always a small handful who would stick around. Or so it seemed.

I recently read a quote online…. Light knows where I saw it; considering how much time I spend online researching my posts, it’s no surprise that I’d lose track. And I don’t even remember it verbatim but the gist of it is that some people aren’t loyal to you, they’re loyal to their need of you. Once their needs change, so does their loyalty. And this is an unfortunate truth that I’ve learned the hard way, especially in the past few years.

One good example I can think of is a particular friend (and obviously, I’ll omit names) who used to lean on me for all of their personal and professional problems. Never one to turn away a friend, I used to sit for long hours while this friend would vent their problems, fears, concerns and issues to me. I’m definitely not a medical professional and more often than not, I would simply be an ear to listen as opposed to trying to fix the problem.

I’ve never had an issue doing this for any of my friends when they’ve needed it. Hell, I once flew back home to help a close friend in need during one of the most difficult periods in their lives. We’re talking an expensive plane ticket, time away from my wife and kids and time off of work to go and help solve someone else’s problems. I can freely admit that I’m no saint, but one can surely admit that this at the very least falls under the category of a good friend. However, previous and subsequent visits have proven that this friend usually can’t find the means to make an effort to visit ME, despite the fact I may have no vehicle and no means to reach them.

I used the title “Fair Weather Friends” for this post and the literal definition of that term is for a friend who disappears on you when times are difficult. Although I’m referring to friendships in general, a unexpected side effect of the important difficulties I’ve dealt with in recent years have exposed these fair weather friends. The ones who were quick to turn silent once certain difficulties were brought to light. Or the ones who, despite being in close residential proximity, never return the effort that’s made to keep contact with them.

This is why I value the friendship I DO have and the ones that are maintained. The ones where we may not speak for a couple of weeks but then make a point of taking time to communicate and catch up. We stay involved with each other, even when life gets in the way. And we appreciate each other FOR each other; not for what we DO for each other. I still have some of those friendships. I appreciate and value them. You know who you are!

Yes, friendships are important. Social interactions and relationships help us to develop and grow and are an integral part of a person’s life. The important thing is to be cognizant of those fair weather friends and to be sure that you acknowledge and appreciate the important people in your life. Given the state of the world, this is more important than ever. Food for thought…☯️

Shisa: Under The Watchful Eyes Of Okinawan Guardian Dogs…

I’ve been exposed to Japanese culture a great deal throughout my life; a byproduct of studying Okinawan karate for 33 years. And yes, I can easily say that there are important differences between Japanese and Okinawan, but for the sake of this post, we’ll lump them in together. After all, all Okinawans are Japanese but not all Japanese are Okinawans. Moving on… During my youth, I had the opportunity to be exposed to, and study, some of the Okinawan culture long before I actually travelled there. And one of the first things I was exposed to was Shisa dogs.

The year was 1996 and I was about to graduate from high school. It was as tumultuous time for me, since I had no idea what direction my life was taking and no clue as to what I wanted to do with myself. I was starting college in the fall at the insistence of my parents, even though I was being thrust into a program I didn’t want (computer programming). All I knew at the time was that I was at the peak of my martial arts skills and I wanted to continue to study THAT. This is something that would be made difficult by the fact that I would be living an hour away for school. But Sensei and I worked it out and we agreed on a training schedule that would accommodate my needs.

I stopped by his house on graduation night, since his son Guillaume was my best friend and would be graduating as well. While I was waiting for Guillaume to come down the stairs, Sensei approached me with a small bundle and handed it to me. “For you,” was all he said. In his usual custom of keeping things simple, he handed me a small, black trash bag that was knotted at the top. I could tell there were moving parts inside, but little else. I asked him if I cold open it immediately, to which he replied I should. I tore open the bag to find two small porcelain Shisa dogs inside.

I’ve had them ever since, and it allowed me to study their origins and purpose. Bear in mind that dial-up internet was barely a thing at that point, so my research had to be genuine and hands-on. But I managed. I learned some interesting things along the way. For example, some refer to them as lions and some refer to them as dogs. Sensei always called them dogs and by virtue of that, I’ve always referred to them as dogs, as well.

The Shisa dogs I keep at home

The pair fo dogs Sensei gave me for graduation are simple porcelain and semi hollow. I keep those at my office, since they’re smaller 9about the size of tennis balls) and fit on my office’s windowsill. The ones pictured above are the ones I purchased myself in Okinawa and are about the size of candle-pin bowling balls (the ones without the finger holes). The ones above are made of soap-stone and are quite heavy. I foolishly purchased them in a shop in Naha on Okinawa. Sensei nearly lost his mind when he saw them, considering my suitcase was quite full.

These dogs originate from China and actually have Buddhist origins. They usually come in pairs and stand guard on rooftops or at doorways/gateways. They be standing forward or off to the side (as pictured above) but the mouths are always facing outward. The thought is that the open-mouth dog (on the right) is roaring to ward off evil spirits while the closed-mouth dog is inviting the friendly spirits. What’s nice with the ones pictured above, is that there’s no mistaking which dog goes on which side.

Since these dogs were brought in from China before Okinawa became part of mainland Japan, their introduction was separate in the two places. The Okinawans use Shisa dogs in their day-to-day culture and you’ll see them in front of most buildings, including temples, homes and businesses. They’re basically the equivalent of gargoyles. Just an interesting part of the culture I’ve had the opportunity to enjoy during my martial arts journey. ☯️

Bravery And Fear may Not Be Separate

Everyone likes hearing tales and stories of bravery or knowing someone they consider to be brave. In those situations, most people would utter phrases like, “they’re SO brave…” and “I’d never be able to do THAT! I’d be too afraid…” And the latter is particular, because most people seem to associate bravery with the lack of fear and this is about as incorrect a thought as one could have. Being brave or displaying bravery doesn’t mean that one isn’t afraid. Let’s dive in, shall we?

Let’s start with my preferred habit, which is to define what is is I’m talking about. Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines “bravery” as, “the quality or state of having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear or difficulty.” A pretty straightforward definition, but I want to point out a certain aspect of that definition that sticks out and digs to root of what I’m getting at today. The definition by no means indicates the absence of fear. It does, however, define it as being strong enough to confront one’s fears. And THAT is the important difference.

To be brave doesn’t mean that you aren’t afraid. fear is a normal and expected response to something that is worrisome, stressful or dangerous. It by no means suggests that if you’re afraid that you can’t be brave. Bravery (or valour) kicks in when you make the decision to confront that danger despite that fear. This can apply to a significant number of aspects of ones life, including work, interpersonal relationships, medical situations… hell, just stepping out the door in the morning. Some folks have something called Agoraphobia, which is the fear of spaces outside the home.

But if one can find it within themselves to do a thing regardless of the fear it incites, this would be bravery. Not the absence of the fear itself but the ability to confront or embrace it. Some good examples I can provide would include in 2015, when I started getting my eye injections. I don’t think I need to explain that the prospect of having someone slide a needle into my eyeball with the intentions of injection a medication into it definitely had my lizard brain saying, “Nope. Not happening. get us the fuck outta here…” Obviously, the prospect of eventually going blind outweighed my fear and I confronted it, and I continue to get these injections every seven to eight weeks.

In the beginning, I had plenty of people commenting and telling me how brave I was for going through that and that they’d never be able to, because they’d be too afraid. Bloody hell, you think I WASN’T afraid??? I sit through something that’s usually reserved as a bad scene out of a horror movie. Of course, I’m afraid. But I confront that fear. The result is that I come out of it with a maintained ability to see clearly, which allows me to do the little everyday things like retain the privilege of operating a motor vehicle and doing my work without special accommodation.

Another good example is testing for black belt. I’ve always trained very hard in karate. I’ve always been confident in my knowledge and abilities in karate. By that logic, testing for black belt shouldn’t have been an issue. But I would be outright lying if I said that I wasn’t scared shitless in the days leading up to the test. But I knew that if I wanted to continue my education in the martial arts that I had to take the added step. The result is that I was able to continue on my martial arts path, start teaching and continue this education, even today.

Granted, the inherent danger associated with those things are passive. Think about a firefighter who rushes into a burning building to save someone trapped inside. Do you think for one second that they aren’t scared? The fear is very real and the danger associated with it is very real, as well. Every time a police officer performs a traffic stop, there’s always a fear that they may be confronting someone violent and dangerous. There’s a CONSTANT fear. But they do it anyway. Now, this is the other end of the stick, of course. But the concept still stands.

Bravery doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid. It simply means that you find the strength within yourself to confront those fears and do it anyway. That’s where you’ll start to notice that you can accomplish far more in life. And you’ll be happier. No one wants to be controlled by their fears. And everyone can be brave. All it takes is the strength to step out that door the first time. And once you do, taking it one step at a time. ☯️

Be In The Now…

It’s important in life to recognize that life exists only in the immediate moment. That makes it equally important to live in that moment. I found a meme online that got me thinking about all of this and it went a little something like this. Bear with me, as I’m translating indirectly from French…

“If you want to be sad, live in the past.”
“If you want to be worried or anxious, live in the future.”
“If you want to be in peace, live in the present.”

This is not mine and to be honest, it was a meme and I can’t source it. I’m sure I could research it and try to figure out where it came from, but unlike providing information on something Diabetes-related as I often do, I don’t believe it’s necessary for the message I’m trying to convey. And just to be clear, this doesn’t mean one shouldn’t be PREPARED or PLAN for things. It simply means that your thoughts and your essence shouldn’t exist outside fo the immediate moment.

This is where you are. This is where you exist. To allow yourself to live outside of that context brings suffering. And that’s the last thing you need. Take the time to appreciate where you are. Soak in the environment. Take on the scents and sounds of your life. And take note that if any of those aspects don’t make you happy, you have an inherent responsibility to do something about it. ☯️

That’s Not How Doors Work…

All my life, I’ve heard the expression, “When one door closes, another door opens…” It’s meant to lead one to believe that even when an opportunity passes you by or you don’t succeed at something, there will always be something else on the road ahead. Except there isn’t. It’s important to grab opportunity by the horns when it comes knocking on your particular door. I’ve also heard another expression that says, “When one door closes, re-open that bitch. That’s how doors work.”

You shouldn’t let opportunity pass you by based on current circumstances or current world events. No matter what you may be thinking or going through, your future is worth sacrificing a little. If opportunity presents itself to do something that will benefit you, your family and your future, you should take steps towards trying to make things work, even when it doesn’t align perfectly with everything you may hope to see happen in your life. The problem is that you’ll always encounter situations where there will be opposition.

“You Either Die A Hero, Or You Live Long Enough To See Yourself Become The Villain…”

Harvey Dent (Two-Face), The Dark Knight

Life doesn’t care about your plan. That’s why it’s so important to take advantage of reasonable opportunities that may present themselves unexpectedly. We don’t always expect these changes. In fact, they sometimes present themselves in the most unexpected ways imaginable. If you choose to ignore those opportunities, shame on you. One must keep one’s eyes open for such opportunities. It’s one thing if you make the conscious choice to ignore such opportunities. But when said opportunities can benefit your overall life and family, you PROBABLY shouldn’t ignore it.

This is a pretty short post and I’m being a little more reflective than educational this morning. But such is life. Sometimes, certain things just bring it out of me. Don’t stop because of a closed door. Your pride and “rights” aren’t worth a secure future. Make certain that the choices you make are what required for the overall betterment of your life; not what you believe you should be fighting for in the moment. Wish I could be specific about what I’m getting at. It’s just something some folks need to figure out on their own. Food for thought… ☯️

Don’t Push It, Let It Come To You…

Writing is a kept skill. If you don’t write often and consistently, it’s a skill that will dwindle with time and you may find yourself lacking if you have to draft something pertinent. When it comes to authoring a blog, trying to o provide daily content to keep people engaged and reading can be a challenge, especially if inspiration and ideas tend to run dry.

Considering the number of posts I’ve written, I’ve challenged myself to always provide something daily. This has been reasonably easy, considering I try to cover any topic related to Buddhism, Diabetes, Health & Fitness and martial arts as well as generous sprinkling of some opinion pieces that don’t always fall under those categories. And after posting well over 500 daily posts without missing a day, I’ve learned one important lesson: you can’t push ideas. You need to let ideas and inspiration come to you naturally.

As children, imagination and inspiration are the dominant ways that we process and interpret information. This can be proven by taking a quick look at my 6-year old son, who can make a solid box out of plastic LEGO’s and consider it to be a vault, a fortress, some kind of a square spaceship or even a weapon’s array (which was premised by one of his cartoons). On the negative side of it, a brief creak of a floor during a nighttime bathroom trip will suddenly turn into some malevolent presence seeking to do harm, despite logic arguing against this.

As we get older and leave childhood behind, we tend to draw on knowledge, experience and logic for our inspiration and ideas. But some of the world’s best authors have created the best stories and manuscripts based on the free-range imagination they had as children. I think that for the most part, this is because children aren’t trying to force an idea in order to formulate it on paper (or on screen). This is one thing that becomes more difficult as we move forward in life.

Because I like to share credit, I always have an open invitation for people to share their thoughts, ideas and inspiration. And I’m going to go ahead and invite any of my readers to do this, now. If there’s a topic and/or idea that you’d like to see me cover, please indicate it in the comments. If you have something you’ve written that you’d like to collaborate and share on my blog, I’m always willing to share posts with full credit going to the author, provided the material fits with the normal parameters (no racism, hate writing, etc…)

Inspiration can be fleeting, and ideas don’t always come easily. As with all things in life, it never hurts to reach out and ask for some help. And I’m certainly not afraid to do the research if someone suggests something I could be writing about, so don’t be shy. I’ll always do my best to provide daily content. But in order to for that content to be inspired, I can’t allow myself to push. I need to let it come to me, naturally. in the meantime, I invite anyone’s inspiration to pay a visit to mine. ☯️

It’s Hard To Be “Social” When Everyone Focuses On The “Media”

Anyone who’s been following along on my journey will know that I have something of a love/hate relationship with social media. On the one side, participating on social media platforms allows people to connect, communicate and potentially get in touch with some folks they may not have seen or heard from in years. I, myself, recently reconnected with a handful of people from my high school graduating class, which is saying quite a bit although I won’t age myself by saying how long it’s been. But it could be easily argued that this is the intended purpose behind social media: to connect and communicate. To be social, albeit over a digital environment.

Unfortunately for me and many others who seek a peaceful existence, this is rarely the reason behind people’s presence on social media. Most choose to use it as a platform to argue their views and opinions, which often leads to unnecessary conflict, once again albeit on a digital forum. It takes away from the experience of maintaining contact with those we aim to remain friends with and becomes all the more convoluted when some of the involved parties causing this “digital suffering“ happen to be good, close friends.

About three years ago, certain events took place that altered the course of my life. Although I could arguably say that these changes were in my best interest and that I’m happier now than I have been in a LONG time, it doesn’t remove the fact that these changes came at the cost of great, personal suffering. As many of you know, the elimination of suffering is kind my thing. So, it makes life difficult when others who should be understanding and compassionate cause MORE of that suffering instead of trying to eliminate it.

I’m getting slightly off path here, and the point is that a big part of the difficulties I faced years ago were due, in part, to social media. When the world spends its days living in a way that involves sharing what they’ve eaten, where they’re going and where they’ve been, as well as personal details of their everyday lives online, it should come as no surprise to have those who wish to do wrong use that information against you. When I discovered that this was the case, I made the difficult choice to take a step away from social media and permanently closed all my accounts.

This was a difficult step for me since, like most people, my day was filled with frequent checks of my phone and computer, looking at people’s updates, sending messages and getting a laugh at memes and jokes. What made things worse is that I had a handful of people with whom social media was the ONLY form of contact I had. And even though I spent some time posting the ol’ “I’m leaving social media, flip me your phone number,” there are a number of people that never got back to me. A necessary step, thanks to someone else’s negative actions.

In recent months, life has gotten progressively better, despite the current state of the world. So, I tentatively dipped my toes back into social media, which is where I managed to connect with the aforementioned folks from high school. But it’s in FACT the current state of the world that has now begun causing issues for me, through social media. I’m sure I’m not alone in recognizing that the world is currently divided on the key issues involving vaccination, masking, health requirements and the overall state of the world. It’s pretty much THE hot topic and is hotly debated by even the closest of friends and family members.

I’m not having it. By definition, peace cannot be imposed. It’s up to the people to recognize what’s required in order to achieve peace and sustain it. Understanding, compassion and open communication are part of those requirements, to name a few. But these are things that are in short supply in today’s society. And it’s for that reason that I’ve found myself in a compromised position where I am once again considering stepping away from social media. Then I thought to myself, why am I depriving myself of good communication with family and friends for the sake of the few who choose to use this platform to argue their opinions with others? Rather than eliminate social media, why not simply cut out the negative energy?

I’m tired. The daily grind of life is difficult enough without people making it more difficult amongst themselves. The ideal scenario would be for each person to keep to themselves and exercise their choice without broadcasting it to the world. You do you. I’ll take it a step further and won’t even bother saying which side of the line I fall on, because it doesn’t matter. I don’t care what your choice is, just don’t give me shit if it happens to be different than mine. Vaccinated, not vaccinated, pro-mask, anti-mask, whatever. Do what you gotta do to survive this roller-coaster called life and stop picking on each other. Life’s too short.

For this reason, I’ve made a compromise with myself in order to eliminate some of the negative in my life. Rather than remove social media, I’m removing those who spread negativity, hate and ignorance of the facts. Some people may suddenly be disappearing from my social media. The irony is I started this practice almost two weeks ago and the removed parties have yet to notice. Or at the very least, they’ve yet to reach out and ask why. Maybe they’re too busy arguing “their rights” over “what’s right.” That’s a balance we all have to work on. ☯️

Be Who You Are, You Aren’t Designed To Be Anyone Else…

Here’s the thing, and you may as well buckle up because this one will be a bit of a rant. I am who I am. I spent a good portion of my youth being someone I wasn’t meant to be. And that’s a horrible way to live, even as a child. As we grow into adulthood, there’s always this great expectation that we’ll conform to certain societal norms and kowtow to the masses. But realistically, we don’t live in that kind of world anymore. And with the advent of social media and the internet, it doesn’t take long for anyone who tries to suppress any individual’s thoughts, beliefs or lifestyle to be swiftly and sometimes radically, put in their place.

I take stock of who I was in my youth (my youth includes both childhood and my teens) and I recognize that I had a lot of work to do. Sure, I studied the martial arts and I worked on my health. But there were a lot of hiccups along the way. I was quiet and withdrawn. I didn’t associate with the world very much, which I’ve come to feel has damaged opportunities and taken away certain options I COULD have had in life. I made myself content with staying in my small corner of the world and ignoring the rest of it, all while doing karate and enjoying my few, small pleasures.

It wasn’t until I reached adulthood and took ownership of certain personal choices that I finally began to open up. Most people who know me now would likely be taken aback by the quiet, pliable and compliant individual I was throughout my youth. Considering how loud and larger than life I tend to be now, all thanks to my specific heritage, no doubt, I think it would come as a shock to most people who knew me “back then.”

What got me here? Honestly, I’ve screwed up during my life. A lot. I’ve made mistakes and errors in judgement that I’ll never be able to take back and that have had real and measurable consequences on the way my life has turned out. I’ve made poor and even bad choices. and have lost friends and loved ones due to my inability to say or do the right thing at the right time. Although some of them are dearly missed, their chosen absence tells me that they weren’t meant to be a part of my overall journey.

I’ve done a lot of good in my life. I’ve done charity, made donations and given away possessions and time. I’ve solved crimes and saved lives and tried to make the world a better place in whatever way I could. I have also done some bad in my life. I’ve failed to be there for people who needed me. I’ve ignored the needs of others and have ended friendships because walking away was often easier than fighting it out. Sometimes in the pursuit of eliminating suffering; sometimes not.

Among all of my direct and indirect actions, my words and choices comes one ultimate result: I am me. For better or for worse, here I am. Some people like me. Some people don’t. Hell, some people hate me. And I KNOW that some people love me. And therein lies the secret to life: it doesn’t care about your plan. And by that very fact, it’s important to recognize that one should never live with regret. Regret is insidious and can only lead to suffering. And it gets you absolutely nothing.

Learn to live with the life you have and you’ll never be without happiness. This isn’t to mean that you won’t ever feel sadness. Or loss. It simply means that your life as a whole will be far happier. Once you let go of hate (and the haters), eliminate the suffering in your own life and do what makes you happy, especially with THOSE who make you happy, you’ll always be on the straight and narrow path to a happier, more enlightened life.

I am me. I am who I am. I may be weird, although I prefer to think unique. I’ll always say exactly what I think and what you see will always be what you get. I find myself incapable of ever being otherwise. Those who know me, know this for a fact. I don’t make friends easily and keep them even less easily, especially once folks get to know the real me. But if you happen to be one of the select few in my life who stick around through the good AND the bad, my love and loyalty will be yours. Without question.

The only down side to being open and always saying what I think, is that it works both ways. If I don’t like you or you bring harm to me or my lobbed ones, you’ll discover that little fact quickly. I make no apologies for turning the page on the story that is my life. As the line from hamlet says, “To thine own self be true.” Life will throw you a lot of curve balls. Some good and some bad will always be inevitable. Such is the balance of life. But so long as you remain true to yourself in all aspects of life, you’ll navigate the good and bad without issue. Food for thought…. ☯️