Author: Shawn

Honestly, there’s a special place in hell for whoever designed Ontario’s highway infrastructure! I mean, seriously… Why is the largest Province with the longest length to cross, the only fucking Province without twin-lane highways? How does that happen??? We took to the road yesterday morning and grabbed our Tim Horton’s coffee and ventured out onto the highway. Within minutes, I was competing with campers, RV’s and semi trucks for space on the highway and to try and make up some time for the extremely long day we had ahead.

I know I’ve been complaining about the boys a lot during this trip and there’ll likely be more of that when I write up the singular post covering the actual time IN New Brunswick, but today I’m going to focus on Ontario and how its highways are trying to kill my family and I. At one point, a semi truck was trying to pass another one and came straight at us… IN MY LANE! I only had a moment to pull off onto the shoulder in order to avoid a head-on collision. This is why we need twinned highways through this Province, people!

Although I am certainly not trying to promote breaking any speed laws, there’s something to be said about the country’s largest Province being the only one with adequate highways. Unless you happen to be in close proximity to the Ottawa/Toronto areas, you’re pretty much screwed. Not to mention that the motel we had stayed in the previous night was grungy, smelly and the towels looked like they hadn’t been laundered since the same decade as their patterned carpet came from. Despite all these difficulties in trying to get from one end of Ontario to the other, I was somewhat entertained by something I found in a bathroom stall at a truck stop…

This totally made me laugh, which in retrospect probably wasn’t;’t the best thing for a random person to be doing in a bathroom stall with people on the other side of the door. I’m sure some of them were wondering why a guy was giggling while using the washroom. But I digress… We did have a fun stop where we fuelled up, grabbed some snacks and Nathan had time to ham it up for the camera outside of a lighthouse we were visiting…

My wife and I had calculated the mileage and distance and determined that in order to successfully reach Regina today without arriving in the wee hours of the night, we had to reach Dryden yesterday. This would leave a little over 900 kilometres to cover today, give or take, which amounts to roughly ten hours of travel. This made sense on paper but we were all pretty spent and cranky when we reached Dryden and ready to end our day.

We had some issues with obtaining accommodation in Sault Ste. Marie on Wednesday night, which is why we ended up stuck in that light-awful motel. For last night, I was looking forward to staying in an actual large-chain hotel so that the wifi would actually work, there’d be complimentary breakfast and, oh yeah… I could actually shower and come out clean as opposed to dirtier than when I went in! Feeling safe and in a secure environment also played a big role.

After visiting four different big chain hotels and being told everywhere that they were fully booked, I was flabbergasted. One clerk actually told me that I should have booked ahead and I wouldn’t find anything anywhere, this time of year. I explained that we were cross-country travellers and couldn’t plan and reserve ahead as we didn’t always know where we would be staying, so what were hotels doing to accommodate guests such as us? She had no answer…

We once again found ourselves in a grungy, rundown motel with doors that could barely be secured, wifi that successfully kicked me off of work in the middle of an email and incompetent staff. We booked two rooms and while the family was out getting supper, someone tried to open my room door. When I opened the door to see if it was my wife, some guy was next door trying to open my mother-in-law’s door. I asked him what he was doing and he became confrontational. Even after I explained that room was booked, he argued. I spent the night on guard.

We obviously made it through the night but there’s no breakfast and this whole town feels quite dirty. I can’t wait to get on the last stretch of our journey and make our way back into the Prairies, where there are twinned highways, overnight accommodations make sense and our home is just around the corner. Today should be our last day of travel before getting home and getting prepped for my return to work on Monday. Work will ironically be the much-needed break from travelling that I need. It will be glorious! ☯️

Our second day on the road was by far the worst. Although it was only the second, I can easily predict it will be the worst when held up against the two days to come, as well. This is likely because we crossed through that bullshit part of Ontario where none of the highways are twinned, the speed limits are lowered to 90 km/h and there’s a fucking construction zone every few miles. We actually had a very decent start of day, eating a wonderful, hot continental breakfast at Best Western “Glo.” Those bastards do free breakfast right!

The entire day was a nightmare of trying to pass slow-moving vehicles and staying still for long periods at construction zones. Luckily, there was plenty of caffeine to get me through the day but there’s no denying that this leg of the trip had me testing every tool in my Zen belt. One of the things I try to remind people is that I’m not usually calm BECAUSE I study Zen… I started studying Zen to help me FIND that calm. And it works pretty well. Most of the time. But like an overwhelmed dam, eventually my temper gets the better of me and overflows, regardless of my ability to practice waking meditation.

Our goal was Sault Ste. Marie and by the light, we made it. If you recall from a previous post, this city’s hotels were all booked up because of some bullshit bicycle event. Considering yesterday was a Wednesday, so I assumed that things would be much smoother. We checked three different large-chain hotels, which turned out to be all booked up. My temper got deeper with every refusal. Although it must be great for business for them to be fully booked, it says very little about them as a business for their fellow Canadian guests.

We ended up booking into a seedy, piece of shit motel where the rooms smell like old factory closets that had wet clothing stuffed into them before the place was abandoned. My morning is starting with some leftover pizza and caffeine. Our goal is to hit Ignace or Dryden today. Hopefully, things will start looking up as we get farther west. ☯️

So the first day of our return trip to Saskatchewan started surprisingly well. Although I had assumed we were setting alarms for 6:30 in the morning, my wife’s went off at 6:00, effectively waking me up. I started sipping caffeine and leapt out of bed (yes, in that order) got dressed and started loading my things into the car. My wife, mother-in-law and kids were surprisingly swift and efficient and we were all loaded in the car at 6:50, despite our departure time being scheduled for 7:00. This is both miraculous and appreciated, as there is usually SOMETHING that delays us.

Hell, even the local Tim Horton’s had no lineup in the drive-thru, allowing us to quickly grab some hot liquid joe without delay. We were on the road and heading west before we were fully awake. We reached Campbellton and crossed over to the Quebec side relatively smoothly and without issue. The streets were quiet and once we crossed into Quebec, we automatically gained an hour on our day. An hour as far as the clock is concerned; our time in the car would remain unchanged. But I digress…

We encountered the usual bullshit along the way; light rain, semi trucks slowing us down, etc. We reached Mont Joli and stopped in at the next Tim Horton’s and grabbed further coffees as well as apple juice and snacks. It was shaping up to be a reasonably good day, making good time and crossing the Province reasonably quickly. Then, the toddler fell asleep. Then he woke up. Then the issues started. I’m not really certain why I was surprised; this is basically what he did on the way out, as well. It’s rough for a tangy Cook male to be strapped into anything for any long period of time.

We made such good time that by about 4:30 in the afternoon, we had crossed into Ontario and reached Ottawa. Since we had no chance to do so on the way in, I chose to have us eat dinner at Zak’s Diner, which is one of my favourite diners in the country. When we reached the Byward Market, the boys made their presence known by being rambunctious, running across streets without looking and being all-around pains in the ass. Kids, am I right? We ordered food and as we waited, it dawned on me to go check the Asian shop where I usually buy my prayer beads.

My mother-in-law and toddler joined for the short, five-minute walk that ensued and I was sorely disappointed to find that the shop carried none of the beads I typically purchased from there. I returned and ate my meal, which depressed me as it was almost literally twice the price of what I had paid for it in 2007 when I would have eaten there last. My two kids were being noisy, knocking things over and generally ruining the experience. Am I bitching about my kids too much? TOO BAD, IT’S MY BLOG!!! But seriously, I love them to death but kids and road trips don’t agree. With me. They don’t agree with me.

My goal had been to have us spend our first night heading home at the Chateau Laurier, right in the heart of downtown Ottawa. When the price of an individual room caused rapid breathing and random chest pains followed by profuse sweating and my left arm going numb, I chose to drive us out of town to Kanata, where I found a subsidiary of best Western called “Glo.” A chic looking, clean-cut little hotel, it was a comfortable night’s stay, after some screwing around to get the wifi to work.

There is apparently some free continental breakfast downstairs, so we’re going to go see what’s up with that before hitting the road again. Although we’re already in Ontario, the safe bet is that we’ll be spending a second night in this Province, given how long of a transit it is. Hopefully but the end of today, we’ll be close enough that there third day will carry us back into the Prairies and closer to home. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for some caffeine… ☯️

Alright, folks! Here we are… It’s the end of the road or rather, the beginning of the road back, I guess. It’s been a rough week on the North Shore, for a variety of reasons. Despite posting and messaging several people that we would be here during the first couple of weeks of August, our time here has been reasonably dull. We basically paid a small fortune so that the boys could play in various parks, which they could have done at home without costing us so much. But I digress…

This morning, and I sincerely hope I got the time change right (my blog doesn’t change time zones), we will be packing up the car and heading back to Saskatchewan. All good things must come to an end but in all sincerity, this trip wasn’t ALL that great. There were some good points, such as seeing my parents. I also got to briefly visit with the friends who chose to make time for me (you know who you are!) despite being either ignored or having excuses made by the ones I DIDN’T get to see (if you follow my blog, you also know who you are!).

I could go into further depth about the good aspects and what parts were the most heart breaking, but I’ll be chronicling our trip back on a daily basis and plan on writing a lengthy post covering the entire time here, once I’m comfortably back in my home basement. So basically, tomorrow’s post will be about today’s travel, and so on and so forth. The reason I’m doing it this way is that I’ve been taking tons of photos with my point and click and will have to upload them to my computer and see which ones are usable or not before writing the post. In the meantime, stay tuned for the next few days as I write about how gaining an hour at every border heading west is a GOOD thing… ☯️

Well, here we are! We’ve made it to Dalhousie, New Brunswick and checked into our hotel in one piece. We will now be here for approximately one week before starting the trek back west in order to go home. Our fourth morning actually started pretty well. We awoke in a little place called St. Apollinaire, Quebec. I had done laundry the night before and I think everyone got a reasonable, albeit short night’s sleep.

We got on the road and drove through a fair amount of rain for a while but it didn’t dampen our spirits (see what I did there?). We made a number of stops along the way, including a chocolatier and several Tim Hortons. We reached the New Brunswick border at about mid-afternoon, local time…

If any of you have been following the vacation posts through all four days, you’ll notice that on the first day when I reached the Saskatchewan/Manitoba border, I took the time to stop the car, pose for an actual photo and was damn proud of it. When we crossed into Ontario, I snapped a quick photo without getting out. Crossing into Quebec, there was no godly way to stop without causing a collision but at New Brunswick, I was in full-blown “fuck it” mode and snapped a a pic while rolling at about 100 km/h. Y’all can believe it’s my photos or not. My exhaustion and I couldn’t give a shit. But I digress…

Upon arriving in Dalhousie, my mother met us at our hotel and we unpacked the vehicle. Once that was done, we made our way down to Pizza Delight, a staple of New Brunswick eateries, and had a semi-decent supper before making our way back to the hotel. Nathan decided to spend the night with Grammy Cook, which suited us just fine. Since it was early and we had nothing planned, I opted for a quick drive where I paid a special visit…

I always make a point of visiting my brother’s grave, every time I go home. On this occasion, I chose to go on my own. It was quiet and peaceful and I could see fresh dirt from a shallow grave dug for the interment of my uncle’s ashes on my grandfather’s grave. A heavy thunderstorm kicked up while I was there, adding to the macabre tableau of a bad 80’s horror movie of the unwitting victim being caught alone in a grave yard. Since none of that actually happened, I was instead focused on this creepy little foreboding…

This is my parents’ burial plot. As you can see, neither of them is occupying the space. The dates for my brother are filled in and he’s buried right next to this plot. Despite the fact I won’t be buried here, my parents had my name engraved on the stone and it always creeps me out a bit to see my name on a grave stone. It’s just one of those things, I guess. All this being said, you can’t beat the view my brother has, from up there…

All in all, it was good to get home and great to see my mother. My children will get to see my father as well, and we have plans to visit the southern part of the Province for a day or two so that everyone can see some of the beauty and history contained within the Province. IN the coming days, I’ll be posting regular, good old Diabetic/martial arts/health posts. I figure I can take away break from all the vacation talk, especially since I would like to retain my followers, and pick up on the trip once we head back next week. Once I’m home, I’ll be able to draft a composite post on all the fun we had while we’re here. Stay tuned…☯️

Our third day of the odyssey that is crossing our country as a family started off as one would expect… With someone waking me before my alarm! We were lucky enough to find a motor inn, last night but even with my alarm set for 6 am, some wretched little bastards were running the halls at about 5 am, waking me well before my alarm went off. Here’s to day 3! But I digress…

I started by cleaning up and getting dressed. Nathan was out like a light, so I helped myself to an energy drink and loaded all of our stuff into the car. It was about 6:20 by this point, so I texted my wife, who responded that she was up and they were making coffee in their room. I tried waking Nathan by gently shaking him, but he was out! I shook him, smacked his bottom and pinched the skin behind his ear. Nothing. This kid was giving a coma patient a run for their money.

I would have been concerned, if not for the steady breathing and the low snoring. I finally yanked his blanket off and sat him up. That got his attention! He petitioned my communist treatment for a moment before stumbling off to brush his teeth and curl back up into a blanket. It took serious effort to keep him from going back to sleep. That’s what happens when one stays up half the night on one’s Nintendo Switch. Some lessons need to be learned the hard way,

We piled into the car and took note of the current thunderstorm ravaging the neighbouring town and sped off before the rain could touch us. We drove for all of about twenty minutes before hitting up a Tim Horton’s coffee and grabbing a few cups with some muffins to get us on our way. If this would have been the worst aspect of our day, it might have been the best day of our trek. But it wasn’t…

We were only a short ways down the highway in Ontario when we realized that the main highway crossing the Province towards Ottawa (Highway 17) is only a single-lane highway, loaded with semi trucks, camper trailers and general fucking douchebags who don’t know how to drive. Can anyone guess how long it took for my Zen composure to start cracking? Less time than it took me to finish the coffee I picked up. But once again, I digress…

We made it as far as Arnprior, Ontario before Alexander made it very clear by his screaming that he was done being in a car seat. I realized that morning that I packed everything Diabetes-related that I needed with one exception… I had no Guardian sensors to go with my CGM. We parked at what was the only McDonald’s restaurant in the city so the boys could play while I went across the street to see pa pharmacist.

Imagine my surprise when he said he had no idea what Medtronic was! Needless to say, he had no CGM sensors, either. Turns out the McDonald’s play place was still closed due rto some remnant of the pandemic that the manager was too lazy to deal with. Nathan was very much less than understanding and sulked his way back to the car, Cranky and despondent, we made our way back to the car and carried on.

We had originally planned to make our way into Ottawa’s Byward Market and have an early supper at Zak’s Diner, one of my favourite eateries in the country. But by the time we would have made our way into Ottawa’s downtown core, found parking, ordered and ate and got back on the road again, we would have burned a solid few hours. As it was, we made our way to Levis, Quebec and booked a room at a very nice Econo Lodge for a load of laundry and a good night’s sleep.

Now, I’m off to my first free, continental breakfast of the trip. We should be making the last six to seven-hour treat to New Brunswick and into Dalhousie, where we’ll check into our hotel and enjoy an actual week without ridiculous travel to exhaust everyone. Maybe a little R&R will get us all back in a better mood. Maybe my mother will appreciate seeing her grandchildren and WON’T bring up how often we visit. Maybe I should shit in one hand and wish in the other to see which one will fill up first… ☯️