Author: Shawn

I am a practitioner of the martial arts and student of the Buddhist faith. I have been a Type 1 Diabetic since I was 4 years old and have been fighting the uphill battle it includes ever since. I enjoy fitness and health and looking for new ways to improve both, as well as examining the many questions of life. Although I have no formal medical training, I have amassed a wealth of knowledge regarding health, Diabetes, martial arts as well as Buddhism and philosophy. My goal is to share this information with the world, and perhaps provide some sarcastic humour along the way. Welcome!

Finding A Friend Who Shares Your Weirdness Is Worth Everything!

A few days ago, I read a meme somewhere online that read: “Friendships are like pissing your pants. Most people won’t see it and only you will feel its warmth…” I guess that’s KIND of accurate, although I don’t know that I’d want to wet myself to make the comparison…

I was told a few years ago, by someone who had performed a study on friendship, that all friendships are inherently selfish. They tend to involve Person “A” getting something out of the friendship from Person “B”. This makes sense if you ever observe children in a group. Most kids will hover around the one who has the most “cool toys”, or the one whose parent brought a tasty treat.

Some believe this trait follows us into adulthood and that we generally only cultivate friendships that provide us with something we want. What do you think? Is this accurate? Think about the friendships you may currently have in your life and ask yourself how you came to be friends…

Human beings are selfish by nature. It’s not that we necessarily mean to be. We’ve been biologically designed to be this way so that we can survive. in prehistoric times, staying alive may have meant being selfish enough to eat THAT much more or hoarding the added pelt to keep you warm through a storm. It’s what’s known as “survival of the fittest”. Although evolution should have bred this particular selfishness out of us it still sits in the medulla, which is the part of the brain that controls instinct.

Instinct and selfishness are not my point today. As I contemplated that person’s statement about friendship, I felt that it was incorrect. My opinion was that friendships can simply be a result of liking that person enough to want to be in their company. Perhaps commonalities draw us to each other or it’s an entirely incidental friendship.

Upon closer examination however, I’ve often realized that even those motivations have their level of selfishness. I WANT their company, I ENJOY being around them or I WANT to be around someone with those commonalities…

Wants, needs and expectations are still present even when you feel as though you have no motivation behind befriending someone. The Second Noble Truth of Buddhism tells us that suffering is a result of selfishness. But the point is, as long as your motivation is pure and the friendship is pursued in good faith, that selfishness becomes moot. After all, it’s exceptionally difficult to combat one’s own inherent instincts.

And to those in my life who are like pissing my pants, know that you are appreciated. And I don’t mind being just a little bit selfish if it means I get to keep you as a friend! ☯

Bundles Of Sleepless Joy

We’ve all been there, right? It’s Sunday morning and you have the day off. The house is cool and quiet and it’s an ungodly hour that you couldn’t imagine rising at, unless work demanded it. You’re curled up securely in your blanket and plan on getting another couple of hours of sleep…

Then it happens! You hear the unmistakable pitter-patter of tiny feet making their way toward you. Oh no… you think. Just relax, maybe he’s just going potty then he’ll go back to bed… Then within a moment you hear and feel the familiar nasal breathing of your toddler on your face. It’s even worse once they get tall enough to turn on lights on their own.

You foolishly think, “Maybe if I pretend I’m still asleep, he’ll leave me alone…” Then you hear a mild whisper: “Daddy?” The whisper increases in volume and intensity until you have no choice but to open your eyes. You try to reason with the little human by suggesting that he needs to be quiet because you’re still sleeping. This request is followed by a poking of the face or a manual lifting of the eyelids. When you get angry and tell him to stop, his response is simply, “What? That was quiet!”

That’s my child. He’s such a smart ass. I have NO idea where he gets it from. Let this short story be a warning to anyone who is foolish enough to listen to the grinding gears of their biological clock!

Apparently I make a great Pole Vault landing mat!

Children are most particular, because no two children are exactly the same. Hell, even identical twins will have some different habits. According to an article written in Today’s Parent, a 2007 study conducted in Switzerland found that some healthy, normal toddlers slept a total of 11.4 hours while others slept as much as 16.5 hours. That’s quite the difference.

There are some things that you can do to help balance all this out. The same article goes on to suggest that certain external factors can contribute to radical changes in sleep habits. Loss of a pacifier or bottle, a new sibling in the household or other noticeable changes in the regular flow of household life can contribute to altered sleep habits. And it can often cause levels of stress within your toddler, even if they aren’t necessarily negative changes.

There are a number of other suggestions; unfortunately they don’t apply to my son. He’s already off naps and he generally snacks before bedtime. One good suggestion is that if you notice your child is getting enough sleep but they still wake up at the crack of dawn doing their best rooster impression, moving bedtime to a slightly later time may be the answer.

All of this information is to illustrate that the important factor is to ensure a proper sleep routine. Routine, especially when it involves sleep, is exceptionally important for proper health. This is where your circadian rhythm comes in.

A circadian rhythm is an approximately 24-hour natural process that helps your body to regulate the sleep/wake cycle. This rhythm repeats itself every day and is the reason why it is so important to have a steady routine in regards to eating and sleeping.

Studies have shown that things like late-night television, excessive or late night eating as well as erratic bedtimes can disrupt your circadian rhythm and cause a score of complications.

I don’t think I need to explain that a steady and regular routine will help with effective blood sugar and fitness regulation. If one spends half the night up in a loud night club having alcoholic drinks, one can hardly be expected to do the 20 kilometre bike run they generally do every morning. And eating your meals at erratic times and intervals will cause issues such as overlapping insulin dosages and digestive problems.

If you happen to be a frustrated parent and want some suggestions on getting your toddler to sleep better, here’s that Today’s Parent article: https://www.todaysparent.com/toddler/toddler-sleep/waking-up-early/

With the obvious exception of shift work, in and as much as your life permits it, you should your absolute best to maintain a regular sleep schedule, allowing for the same bedtime every night and enough time to get between 7 to 9 hours of solid sleep. Following this standard will help you to wake feeling more refreshed and ready for day, will help reduce the amount of required caffeine and help maintain your circadian rhythm. ☯

Being Blue Can Be Okay… 🥋

Last night I had the pleasure of watching a belt promotion ceremony. My title reflects the fact that the students graduated to their blue belts. it brought back many memories of my own belt promotions from decades ago.

It also caused me to note certain discrepancies in how people train today compared to decades ago. The difference between my home style and the style I train in currently were quite evident last night.

But watching them take their green belts off and tie on their blue… the emotion and the tears that the one student had from the experience… I remember those emotions and feelings well. The sense of accomplishment and the ambition to keep training and pushing forward is quite a feeling.

I think it’s important to fight for what you want in life. I’ve often said that if life had no challenge, then what would be the point? I think it was George S. Patton who said “Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory.”

I guess I just got feeling a tad nostalgic. One gets that way when one reaches this point in life. Keep working at whatever goals you’ve set for yourself. Your drive and ambition will help you grow. And if by chance, life deems it appropriate to keep you from achieving your goals, I promise the memories you’ll make along the way will be worth the trip! ☯

A Dose A Day May Keep The Doctor Away…

You know, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t absolutely hate having to take daily medication or follow a medical regiment. As a Diabetic, I can certainly attest to the fact that I’m bound to follow a number of habits that would plunge my body into chaos if I neglected them.

The human body is a fantastic and well-built machine, capable of many wondrous things. But like any machine, it sometimes needs repair and assistance.

There are some things that the body can heal things on its own. But what happens when there is a repair that can’t happen by itself? This is where we sometimes need a bit of assistance.

The newest fad (or the oldest, depending on your perspective) is the attraction that modern society has towards “natural” or “Traditional” forms of medicine. If it’s natural it must be better, right? Not necessarily.

One of the things that most people seem to forget is that modern medicine is rooted in the traditional. Chemicals and modern medications are simply a combination and evolution of elements and compounds that obviously exist in nature. People have an inclination towards wanting to avoid taking medicine.

I’ve dealt with a number of people who have fallen into the dreaded cycle of avoiding medication on the basis that they “feel better” and don’t need them anymore. Rarely do they realize that they feel better BECAUSE they’ve been taking the medication.

Imagine if someone with Type 1 Diabetes did this? I’ve seen the consequences of forgetting even one dose of insulin. It isn’t pretty. And good luck healing a broken bone or most forms of cancer will acupuncture or herbs.

Both modern and traditional forms of treatment have their place in medicine. For example, if you are dealing with muscle pains and aches, acupuncture and massage therapy can be extremely useful. If you have stomach issues or headaches, herbology can be a useful treatment. But if you have something more serious, modern forms of medication and treatment become necessary.

Although there are books and websites that boast being able to treat and/or heal Diabetes through changes in lifestyle or diet, such a thing simply isn’t possible. Until a cure is found, I require insulin therapy in order to stay alive.

This is the case with a lot of medical treatments. Not only are they required, but most also require being taken at specific intervals otherwise they become ineffective.

We would all like to believe we can overcome anything. But even the most effective machine sometimes needs assistance in running smoothly. Be diligent in your care and the administration of your treatment. Your health and well-being depends on it. ☯

Opportunity Knocks…☯

Alexander Graham Bell once wrote “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

Life has been difficult for me in the past couple of years. And that’s okay. I still believe that all things happen for a reason. We don’t always understand the reason behind things, but good things are often around the corner. We simply don’t have the ability to necessarily see that far ahead.

The basis of Buddhism explains a simple premise referred to as The Four Noble Truths. The first noble truth explains that suffering, pain and misery exist in life. This makes sense, right? I think it would be a fair assessment to say that all of us have suffered from time to time, in some way, shape or form. Most schools of faith teach this in some respect, since life is not meant to be easy. Otherwise, where would the challenge be?

The second noble truth teaches us that this suffering is caused by selfish craving and personal desire. I have difficulty with this, because I tend to believe that some suffering is inflicted upon us by others. Some actions and results are out of our control. Those who wish to do us harm will do so, regardless of our beliefs. This is part of the problem I am currently facing. But selfish cravings and desires are certainly a source of suffering.

However, the third noble truth does teach that this suffering and selfish craving can be overcome. I guess the big question becomes, when do we overcome it? I believe it can take a lifetime or more. Perhaps in the next life, if we’re lucky. But either way, we should never stop fighting and striving to better ourselves. This is the only way to climb the insurmountable mountain of suffering.

The fourth Noble truth path describes that the way to overcome this suffering is by practicing the “Eightfold Path”, which is another part of the doctrine taught by Buddhism. There’s plenty of articles online about what the eightfold path is, so I won’t go into it here as it gets kind of convoluted and moves away from the purpose of this post.

I’ve been reflecting firmly on my beliefs today (hence the deeply Buddhist teachings). This afternoon, I received a phone call that may alter the course of my life. Although nothing is certain about this call, it opened a door and exposed me to the possibilities beyond the suffering I am currently dealing with. And that brings me more joy than I can describe. It tells that I can and WILL overcome the difficulties plaguing my life.

We don’t always know what life has to offer, just around the corner. Keep working hard, training hard and learning hard. The end result can provide possibilities that you may never have imagined. ☯

Big Boned Leads To Big Problems…

I’ve often written about some of the complications that people with Diabetes face on a daily basis. certainly, the list is long and the complications are many. Today I will address one of the more common and misunderstood issues surrounding Diabetes. Weight gain and obesity.

This is a very sensitive topic in modern society, so I’m going to start this post by being very clear: This is not a slight against people with genuine weight issues or intended to body shame in any way, shape or form. Although I am a firm believer that we should all love ourselves for who we are, obesity and heavy weight-gain are serious medical issues and carry many consequences.

According to numbers provided by Statistics Canada, approximately 61.3% of Canadian adults were considered under the category of “obese” as of 2015. This is almost a 25% increase from 2004. Without including the rest of world, this is a small example of how serious an issue it is.

An important misconception is that obesity causes Diabetes. Although there is some evidence linking obesity to Type 2 Diabetes, there is no confirmed evidence of the same being the case for Type 1.

Type 1 Diabetes is an auto-immune deficiency and is NOT caused by obesity. That being said, once a Type 1 Diabetic starts insulin therapy weight gain can occur, usually in the stomach area. This is because insulin helps your body to absorb glucose into the blood stream. And as Diabetes can make you extra hungry once you’re on insulin therapy, well… Glucose absorption + extra hunger = weight gain.

A photograph of an MRI scan that has circulated on the web for years, illustrating the fact that “big boned” is a misnomer!

There is a significant difference between being obese and being overweight. Obesity is generally defined as having a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 30 or higher. That being said, BMI is a fairly inaccurate way of measuring obesity. If you factor in my weight of 220 pounds coupled with a height of 5’7″, my BMI is sitting at 32.9, which is considered under the obese category. Anyone who has seen me in person knows that I’m a far cry from obese! Although it is a standardized form of measuring mass in the human body, it doesn’t take into account whether the weight is carried as fat or muscle. BMI is a subjective tool that has to be used in conjunction with all the other factors and assessed by your doctor.

According to a BMI calculator used on the Diabetes Canadawebsite, BMI also can’t be used for pregnant women, weight lifters, long distance runners, elderly or children. If you’re curious, the BMI calculator can be found here: https://www.diabetes.ca/managing-my-diabetes/tools—resources/body-mass-index-(bmi)-calculator

The purpose behind listing all of this is two-fold: to make people understand that being overweight is NOT what causes Type 1 Diabetes, as many television comedies or online jokes may make you believe, and that there are a number of complications that come with being overweight.

Weight gain and obesity have been linked to heart disease, stroke, gallbladder issues, some forms of cancer, osteoarthritis and gout as well as certain breathing issues and sleep apnea. The added weight one gains taxes and stresses most of the systems in the body and can lead to serious health complications. If you add that on top of having Diabetes, life becomes unnecessarily complicated. I mean, Diabetes makes it unnecessarily complicated anyway, but why make it worse?

All of these complications can be lessened and some may even be eliminated by losing some weight. The obvious steps involve a healthier diet and increased physical activity. Try to stick to foods that contain natural sugars as opposed to artificial additives and preservatives. Keep your workouts consistent, but throw in some variety of workouts to ensure you exercise all the areas of your body.

Remember, even though you should be happy with your body, health complications indicate that your body isn’t the way it should be. Consult your doctor and see what you can do to prevent these complications. ☯

Don’t Let Your Bucket List Tip Over…

Most people have dreams and goals. In fact, I have rarely ever met any person along my travels who hasn’t indicated that they have something in mind for the future or something they’d like to do. Even the folks who claim that they’re happy with the status quo and aren’t looking to accomplish anything will ultimately have that unspoken dream that haunts them every night.

Dreams and goals are important. They help us to develop focus and builds skills needed to survive in modern society. It can also help to give your life purpose. If one had a life of ease without any effort required, where would humanity find the drive for its advancement.

Although having goals can often make life harder, accomplishment can also help you to become prouder of yourself and help to build on your capabilities.

Like most things in life, the only way to have a silver lining is if there’s a dark cloud holding it. There are some disadvantages to setting goals. According to an article posted on LyveStrong.com, failing at any particular goal can cause some people to become discouraged from setting future goals, which can ultimately lead to losing out on important milestones.

The article goes on to explain that goals should be set using the SMART acronym. I’ve heard this acronym often in different business environments I’ve worked in and I will explain it briefly here:

Specific: No matter what goal you set, you should attempt to ensure that you are specific in what you want to accomplish. Perhaps your goal is to purchase a sports car. Great! What kind? What colour? Providing specifics will help to make the goal more real and leads into the next point.

Measurable: Let’s say your goal is to lose weight. How will you know when you’ve accomplished your goal? Let’s say your goal is to lose 5 pounds; this is how your goal becomes measurable. And it ensures that you’ll know once you’ve accomplished it.

Attainable: I’ll keep this one pretty simple… Make certain that your goal can actually be accomplished. Although I’m a firm believer that anything is possible, if your goal is to own a house on the surface of the moon you may be in for a little surprise!

Relevant: Your goals need to lead towards something. Having goals simply for the sake of having them can lead to a sort of stagnation unless you have them accomplish an end game.

Time-measurable: Set a period of time for when you want everything to happen. It’s one thing to say “I want to accomplish THIS or THAT”, but without a specific time frame to ensure its completion, you may never reach the completion of your goal.

Last but not least, work on one thing at a time. Most people have a “bucket list”, or a list of things they wish to accomplish before the end of their lives. But having too many things on that list that you’re working on at once will cause your bucket to tip over. ☯

Are You Down With The Thickness?

Time makes fools of us all. Not because we are fools, but because the ravages of time tend to catch us by surprise. Sometimes those ravages reveal changes we wouldn’t have expected.

It dawned on me a few days ago that we tend to photograph and document our accomplishments, but we rarely document and photograph the beginning. I have no photos of myself as a white belt.

I started karate in April of 1988. Despite my health, I was full of dreams and faith and I knew that my hard work would someday pay off. I could only speculate at how right I would become.

Three years ago, I was visiting a friend in the city whose parents were visiting. My friend’s mother made an off-the-cuff comment about how both of us had “thickened” and she would be curious to dig out a tape measure to see which one of us had gained the most weight over the decades.

Time and age catches up to us all. We don’t really have a choice; certain bodily functions tend to cause us to gain weight and our bodies to change. In fact, we tend to gain weight and lose about 8% of our muscle mass every deacde until we reach our 50’s as our metabolism slows. Fun, eh?

When I started karate in April of 1988, I weighed about 80 pounds, soaking wet. I was slight, I had very little muscle mass and my health wasn’t great.

My current stature, as of June of 2019

As of June of 2019, I weigh 220 pounds and have a significant amount of mass. This is a far cry from what started with in 1988. Sure, some of that is muscle. But some of it is a bit of the aging process.

Like I said before, we all get there. The important thing is to maintain your physical activity. This will help to maintain a healthy weight and proper physical stature as the years march on.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gained a lot of wisdom. If I had the physique I held in my 20’s mixed with my current physique, that would be a scary opponent to deal with. But given the current state of life, I’ll gladly accept the wisdom over the physical. ☯

Kids These Days Are Seen And Heard…

I’ve written a number of times about in my articles about my young son, Nathan. He’s a little Tasmanian devil. He’s developed the ability to destroy everything I care about, but doing it with a smile on his face and an “I love you, daddy” on his lips. Children have an effect on us that we seldom take the time to acknowledge.

One of the most difficult situations to deal with in regards to young children is the noise. And I’ll totally admit that I’ve been guilty this myself, but it feels as though I’m always telling my kid to shut up! Have any of you experienced this?

It often becomes easy to forget that children are simply little people with BIG people emotions. I know for a fact that more often than not, my son feels the need to be the loudest sound in the room. At times when he’s quiet, he’ll suddenly become raucous the moment I pay attention to his mother or anything other than him

So, what does one do? Shushing your child only gets you so far. My wife works from home and for a short period, I was able to get away with telling Nathan “You need to stay quiet! Mommy’s working!” But that unfortunately no longer works and often falls on deaf ears.

Many experts agree that there are some easy ways to help quiet your child when they get too loud. First and foremost, they indicate that you should stop what you’re doing. Children are incredibly sensitive to their environment and will recognize the fact that you’re busy checking Facebook on your phone when you were supposed to be playing with them.

The next thing experts tend to agree on is to bring yourself down to your child’s height. Looming over them can be intimidating and make instruction difficult to deal with. Children will feel more connected and appreciated with parents who are able to bring themselves to their child’s level. Take a knee. It WILL make a difference.

It’s important to model the behaviour you’d like to see in your children. For example, even though you’d love to shut your kid up by placing a hand over their mouths, this is likely the worst thing you could do. Experts believe that this not only shows the child that they are incapable of quieting themselves without the strength of an external source, children live by example. This is chilling, because it teaches the child that they are free to exert their strength against younger and weaker children. This becomes especially important if the child is to become a big brother to a younger sibling and is a bad habit they can carry with them into preschool and kindergarten.

According to an illuminating article on wehavekids.com, there are a number of things that can help.

Whispering. Whispering make children curious. They want to know if something secret is going on. Whispering is likely to get their attention more than yelling.

Prepare ahead of time. When planning any outing, whether at a restaurant or any other public place, be sure to bring snacks and activities for your child to ensure that you can manage their hunger and boredom while you wait for your meal. It’s unrealistic to expect that your child will understand that waiting is necessary.

Give them a loud voice outlet. This one actually makes sense to me. I spend so much time telling Nathan to be quiet… During the morning routine, during the trip to preschool, when I pick him up from preschool and during the evenings leading up to bedtime… When does he get a chance to vent that excess energy? I think we often forget that children have the same amount of energy as we do, just in smaller container. This is why they always seem hyper and full of energy. Make sure you provide them with an outlet. Take then outside where they can be as loud as they want.

Remember that they are still children. I have the most problem with this one. I’m often guilty of losing my shit and tossing Nathan into his room as a punishment for making too much noise. The reality is that even the most disciplined child will only be able to stay quiet for so long. If you expect four straight hours of quiet time in the living room every morning, you’re in for a big surprise.

My little goofball and I.

The article written by wehavekids.com can be read here: https://wehavekids.com/parenting/Help-for-Parents-Getting-Noisy-Kids-to-be-Quiet

Children learn by example. If we get angry and lose our minds every time they get noisy, they’ll not only keep getting noisy but they’ll only learn that anger is an appropriate response when dealing with others. Some of these tips may help. But ultimately, you’ll need to learn how your specific child deals with their energy and their noise. As parents, we need to adapt to these trends and teach our kids along the way. ☯

That Chick From Frozen Has The Right Idea…

I know a lot of people seem to think that being Buddhist means dressing in robes and constantly sitting on the floor cross-legged, and every free moment of the day finds us meditating and humming to ourselves.

Although these aspect DO happen, they aren’t a constant thing. It’s comparable to any of the world’s other faiths not following a constant regiment as required by their religions. But meditation is an interesting aspect and tends to cause some mystery to most.

There are several ways to meditate, and unlike the belief most people have, it is not a static thing. It doesn’t always involve a comfy pillow, coupled with closed eyes and hands on thighs. In fact, I have trained to the point where meditation is a flow, and tends to happen whenever needed throughout the day.

Have you ever tried to clear your mind and focus on absolutely nothing? It takes a lot of effort and it really isn’t easy. There have been times when I’ve sat and tried to relax, but the ability to clear my mind simply doesn’t happen.

Sound advice…

Like most parents of young children, I had the chance to watch Disney’s “Frozen” with my son, Nathan. And the lead protagonist sings a wonderful song about “letting it go”.

This is what’s often required when meditating. Sometimes the effort of trying to think of nothing is more effort than just letting the mind drift. One needs to let it go in order to empty the mind. If you take a few deep, calming breaths and simply let your mind wander, you can focus on the nothing while your subconscious babbles to itself.

Meditation has become more of a commonality within modern societies. Many employers will provide meditation seminars and allot time throughout the work day for meditation breaks. The advantages are still being studied, but once you get a knack for it, it can provide a plethora of benefits for your health and mental well-being.

I believe I’ve shared this link before, but this is a handy website for folks looking to learn and start meditating: https://www.wikihow.com/Meditate

Learning to relax and clear your mind is paramount based on today’s way of life and work environment. Don’t be shy to learn new skills and habits that will help get you there. And remember, sometimes you just have to “let it go”! ☯