Can’t Walk A Mile In Someone’s Shoes When It’s Painful…

Well over a month ago, I suffered a pretty painful injury during a karate seminar as a result of trying to spar like I was still in my twenties. I was doing pretty good, for a few minutes. In my head, I was moving with the same speed and grace as I did when I was first graded as a black belt. In reality, I was moving with the level of grace that a thick sap slowly moves its way down the trunk of a tree. And I paid the price in pain…

My opponent caught me with a straight punch to the upper ribs, with his dominant hand, no less. There are three important lessons to be learned from that experience; one for me, one for him and one for both of us. The lesson for me is that I shouldn’t have walked into an oncoming punch. Although I was throwing an attack of my own at the time, focus should be on preserving and protecting oneself first. You can’t protect yourself or others if you get taken out.

The lesson for my opponent is that at his level of skill, he should have been able to control his strike and even halt it short of impacting. One of the differences that I’ve noticed with Shotokan as opposed to Uechi Ryu, is that the practitioners are all in, on every strike, even in practice. Although this can be useful in developing strength to your strikes, it can be detrimental to one’s overall control. But I digress…

The lesson for the two of us, is that even a strike that isn’t at full power can still be devastating when properly applied. After all, if a strike from 1 to 10, where 1 is a light touch and 10 is the intention to kill, I seriously doubt that my opponent, who just happens to be a practitioner in the same dojo as I am, had ANY intentions of killing me. But the results of that strike have been enough to keep me on my ass for the past month, proving that an effective strike doesn’t have to be “all in” to be effective.

The past month has been increasingly difficult, especially in the first couple of weeks. I’ve had a hard time moving and every little thing, including but not limited to sneezing, coughing, burping and farting has sent me into spasms of pain where I’d be seeing stars for several minutes before it would finally subside. Don’t even get me started on the challenges of showering or using the washroom. A month has passed but the pain has not, although it is getting better. Damaged muscles can take weeks and even months to heal. But I’ve learned to appreciate some important aspects along the way…

My father has been wheelchair-bound for almost 20 years, now. Cursed with a degenerative spine, he’s been living with constant, 10 out of 10 pain for years. Nothing has ever worked for him or is expected to. It’s pain he simply has to live with. And although my pain is nowhere near at the level his is, I can appreciate certain aspects that constant pain causes. Here are a few things that you should never say to someone who is in pain:

1. “The pain can’t be that bad.” I’ve spent years hearing people talk to my mother and make that very comment about my father. For one thing, what’s only a 5 out of 10 pain to one person may be much, much worse for someone else. No one has the right to gauge your pain for you.
2. “Why are you so tired?” Constant pain is exhausting. People don’t tend to think so because when a person is in pain, their last thought is of getting sleep. The problem comes from managing that pain over a long period of time. It takes its toll on the body and can be devastatingly exhausting. Most chronic conditions will be like this. I have a dear friend who has fibromyalgia (hopefully I spelled that right) and although she wears a brave face, the constant pain makes getting through the day with a smile quite challenging.
3. “You’d feel better if you got up and did something.” No, no, I would not. I’ll be the first to admit that one shouldn’t just flop down and refuse to move until ALL pain has subsided. Besides the fact that sitting idle can be a problem for someone with type-1 Diabetes due to poor circulatory and nerve-related issues, there’s the danger of stiffening up from doing nothing, which can extend the amount of time required to heal. Don’t even get me started on loss of muscle mass and atrophy. But sometimes you gotta baby that injury and allow your tissues to heal. This can mean putting your feet up and letting the finely-tuned machine that is your body do its job and fix the injury before you push yourself.

Everyone’s pain is different. I can honestly say that although I’m not on the same pain level as my father, I can certainly sympathize with some of the issues he faces with his back being out of commission. Makes me appreciate all the more, how some people, even medical professionals, try to push him in ways his body is incapable of responding. Don’t ever judge someone else’s pain. You can never tell how an individual may be feeling or dealing with a particular pain. And no one has a right to gauge your pain but you. Food for thought…☯️

May The 4th be With You!

Happy Star Wars Day! One of the big things I love about Star Wars (besides the science fiction aspect) is how its transcended generations. I know it isn’t the most popular view, but I love how the new trilogy has brought out all the nostalgia, the excitement and the wonder that the original trilogy elicited. Since I’m still kind of nursing my wounds, perhaps tonight will need to be an evening of a couple of Star Wars movies…☯️

What’s Right? Doing Right? Feeling Right?

In a world of continued entitlement and first-world problems, navigating society can only be achieved through very rough waters. And I refer to rough waters often in my posts, because it always seems like some fuckers are trying to ice skate uphill (that’s a line from the movie Blade, it’s not mine). I continue to be amazed at how people tend to lean on what they believe to be “the principle” of a matter, as opposed to doing what’s actually right, moral and in some cases, even legal.

I offer up a CBC article I read yesterday as a prime example of what I’m getting at. You can read the article here: Bitter dispute over old beach road pits Cape Breton community against owner. Y’all can go read the article for yourself (after all, that’s why I linked it) but the just of the situation is there’s an old beach road outside a small community in Cape Breton that’s been used to access a stretch of beach by the community for decades. Recently, someone originally from British Columbia purchased the property and the road runs through it. Cue the drama…

The article does a pretty good job of illustrating two clear sides of the story and how there’s a case to be made for either. On the one hand, if the property owner has purchased the land, including the road, shouldn’t she enjoy clear ownership of the land she paid for? This would seem to make sense, since I would expect to be able to make decisions about any piece of property that I paid for.

On the other hand, you have several generations of people who are part of this community and have been using this road for years. I can imagine feeling some kind of way about a random person who isn’t government or law enforcement, suddenly coming along and trying to tell me I’m not allowed to drive down a road that I’ve been using for years… Given my temper and temperament, you can well imagine how well THAT would go. Unfortunately, I’ve been in that EXACT situation back in New Brunswick, during my younger years.

The big question is, who’s right? The letter of the law would seem to provide that if it’s private property, people should stay the hell off of it, if the landowner deems it so. But what about the moral thing? The community-spirited thing? The RIGHT thing? These are the aspects that people seem inclined to cast aside and forego, no matter how important it may be. If it were me, I would be inclined to let the community continue to use the road. After all, it’s a fucking road! But that’s just me, apparently.

The article wraps with the landowner claiming that if it turns out that her lawyers or real estate agents made a mistake and the road isn’t hers, she would be selling the property. Really? The article outlines some of her concerns but honestly, some of it is a clear picture of how far society has fallen in terms of getting along with one another. As a child, I remember that if I were outside playing and a parent brought a poposicle to their kid who was playing outside as well, they’d likely ask me if I wanted one. Nowadays, the parent would likely look at the other child with thinly-veiled suspicion.

I bring this up because it directly relates with how there is suffering in the world, we tend to cause our own suffering but often, others cause unnecessary suffering when there are easier and more collaborative ways to reduce or prevent it. Also because I see a lot of this type of petty behaviour in my line of work; instances where people will block access to certain things for no reason other than they own it and can do it. Never mind the pain and suffering that their “legal and harmless” action may bring to others…

“It’s not about the use, it’s the principle of the thing…” Give me a fucking break… You’re just being a dick. Society talks about how enlightened we’ve become and how far we’ve advanced but scenarios where it’s neighbour versus neighbour are dealt with in the most petty of ways. We need to learn, as a society, to take the moral path and stop focusing on what we believe is “the principle.” Although principles can be an effective guiding, well… principle, they won’t get you far in life. Food for thought… ☯️

Fizzy? Bubbly? Gassy?

Trying to find something enjoyable to drink when you have Type-1 Diabetes can be somewhat difficult. Despite the fact that the best thing a person can drink (and the easiest) is water, sometimes you just wanna gulp down something flavourful and different. Having a cold beer during my down time isn’t ideal, since beer is totally loaded with carbohydrates and tends to bloat a guy. Plus after one or two of them, you feel full and uncomfortable. There’s a reason why they call it “beer gut.” But I digress…

For the most part, health professionals don’t recommend consuming carbonated beverages regularly because of the sugar content. After all, the average red-canned drink (you know the one) contains 39 grams of sugar. if you decide to over-consume and drink one of those 500 millilitre bottles, you’re looking at over 50 grams. It’s great if you’re suffering a low and want to boost your blood sugars. Not so great if you care about things like weight gain and tooth decay. But what if you’re consuming sugar-free carbonated beverages? That should be fine, right?

Maybe not. The problem doesn’t just lie in the sugar content (or toxic artificial sweetener). Some of the issue may lie in the carbonation itself. Willingly ingesting carbonated liquids can lead to a number of nasty side effects that most people don’t usually consider prior to pouring them down their gullet. For myself, I’m a big fan of these sugar-free carbonated waters I get from Costco. Despite the great flavours and sugar-free option, there are certain things you need to consider when gulping down carbonated beverages.

First and foremost, it can cause heartburn. Since carbonated beverages are loaded with CO2, they can cause an increase in stomach acid reflux due to the pressure it places on the abdomen. That same pressure will cause bloating and excess gas. Also, artificial sweeteners have been linked to weight gain and Type-2 Diabetes (do some research), none of which are a good thing. The best bet would be to simply not consume any carbonated beverage at all, sugared or not.

So, what about some non-carbonated, non-carbohydrate “adult” beverages? Well, a snippet of red wine can have some definite positive properties, as long as you don’t down full bottles at a time. Pure alcoholic spirits are carb-free and can offer a tempting option to substitute on a day off while relaxing in one’s garage during a sunny Sunday afternoon. But an excess of these drinks (besides the liver damage) will also cause an increase in one’s potassium levels, which can be hard on cardiac health.

At the end of the day, water is still the best overall go-to drink for something that won’t cause a bunch of issues on the side. You can get some sugar-free water flavourings that won’t break the bank and will let you stay hydrated without all the pitfalls of carbonated beverages. And should you opt for the carb-free and carbonated-free option like whiskey, remember that moderation is key. Food for thought. Or rather, drinks for thought… ☯️

Weekend Family Chronicles, Volume 1

My son Alexander was born just a short period of time before the world shut down due to the pandemic. In fact, he was sadly born during the few days that I was in southern New Brunswick for a job interview. Not only did I miss his birth, I also didn’t get the job. Life, eh? My point is, the majority of Alexander’s existence has been contained within the confines of our house and back yard. We’ve brought him to a couple of parks and to my place of work on a couple of occasions, but he hasn’t been out to experience the outside world, despite pandemic conditions being recently lifted.

We recently started picking out one activity every weekend to do with our two sons. Last weekend, we brought them to an indoor play structure in a local mall. It was good times; we were able to get coffees and sit while the boys played and socialized with other children. They were quite happy and made a bunch of friends. The best part is Alexander passes right out for an excellent nap that mommy and daddy end up partaking in… But I digress… This weekend, we thought we would shake things up by bringing the boys to a restaurant. Not a fast-food restaurant, mind you; an actual, sit-down and eat restaurant with a menu that didn’t includes toys or a play structure.

Besides getting the boys out of the house and being out in the world, they had the option of choosing their own meal, including drink, main, side and a free sundae. Nathan absolutely loved the option of choosing his own meal. Much to our surprise, both boys were extremely well behaved and ate their meals with gusto. I enjoyed a deli sandwich with fries and my wife had a chicken burger with bacon and dill sauce. It looked amazing.

There were some mild leftovers to be brought with us but that’s okay! They both enjoyed their mutual mini-sundaes and we left the restaurant with a calm feeling of success as we introduced our toddler to a restaurant without any behaviour issues or having to raise our voices. It went so well, that we decided to reward them by bringing them to a local outdoor park. Despite the wind, they were pretty game to play and there were some kids there for them to socialize with.

Despite all the other kids to play with, Nathan and Alexander couldn’t help but cling to each other and stick to each other’s hip as they played. Nathan filled his role as big brother with aplomb and helped Alexander make his way up the obstacles and joined him down the slides. It was fun to just sit and watch them play. My wife and I stayed off our smart phones (except to take these photos, of course) and just soaked in the fresh air and watch the kids have fun. It was incredibly soothing.

After about half an hour, the looming clouds chose that moment to join in unison against humanity and start drizzling their unnecessary dampness on everyone’s head. We loaded the kids back into the family vehicle, which Alexander chose to voice his displeasure by pouring a torrent of verbal diarrhea and screaming combined with hot tears. By the time we got home, it became quite clear that we were overdue for a nap time. Alexander was put in his crib and passed out within minutes. My wife and I joined and found some enjoyment in a small, two-hour nap. Unexpected sleep is the best.

Despite my current torso injury, I napped quite nicely and awoke with renewed energy. Once our naps were over, Nathan was allowed to go outside and join one of his neighbourhood friends at the park contained in his school yard, which is only five minutes around the corner. Last night involved mommy and daddy time of watching “Bad Boys For Life,” so I could relive some of the glory days (policing is NOTHING like what’s seen in those movies, but it’s fun nonetheless). We also binged a few Grey’s Anatomy episodes. Looking forward to what today may bring. Weekends with family are best. ☯️

Paying It Forward…

Considering the bitch-fest I’ve been writing about in recent weeks, I thought I would write about how nice yesterday kicked off after I posted about my doctor’s visit. When I got ready for work, I suddenly realized that not only was it Friday but the sun was shining and he weather was great. It was geared up to be a great day and I had actually gotten some actual sleep by virtue of the stronger muscle relaxants I had been prescribed the previous day after that shitty doctor’s appointment.

Since I wanted to keep the positivity going, I was crooning along to some music as I headed south towards the office when I decided I should get some donuts for my staff. There were a few of them sill working from home, but I knew there would at least be a handful that could take advantage. So I popped by my local retail coffee chain (y’all know where Im talking about). I ordered a dozen donuts but got myself a medium coffee as well. My usual habit is to make a Keurig coffee at work but I thought, what the hell? May as well treat myself as well, right?

I pull up to the drive thru window and had something happen that I had, until that moment, only read about… Someone “paid it forward” and paid for my coffee and donuts! I was floored! I often read stories about people paying it forward in drive thrus like that but I had never had it happen to me. I was elated and was asked if I wanted to keep it going by paying it forward to the next customer behind me. I agreed and pulled my debit card out. Then, a thought hit me… What if the person behind me was ordering breakfast foods for his entire crew or something like that? I assumed the risk that comes with paying it forward and kept my mouth shut.

The person behind me only ordered a coffee and I drove off feeling happy and satisfied. I got to work and sent out an internal email to the staff I assumed would be working on site that day. Then, I ironically sat down and ate the two hard-boiled eggs I brought, since I couldn’t justify the increased amount of carbohydrates that early in the morning. It only took a few minutes for me to recognize that at least four of the ten people I assumed would be working at the office were either working from home or had the day off. brutal. I offered some donuts to the on site staff. I still had seven or eight donuts left.

I walked the other two floors of office and offered the remainders up to all the other staff. I got to make a few people’s day and met some of the staff that I’ve somehow managed NOT to meet over the past year due to working from home as a result of the pandemic and some who have been recently hired. Besides the fact that I got to do some wicked networking within my own organization, I created some positivity not only in my own day but for others, as well. It was a great way to cap off the week, especially in light of how rough it’s been with the pain and the lack of sleep. Next week has a lot to do to make up for yesterday. ☯️

You Gotta Fight, For Your Right…

I was diagnosed with type-1 Diabetes when I was 4-years old. And even before that, the majority of my existence was spent in hospitals as my older brother was unfortunately blessed with a failing body that caused issues more often than not. So it stands to reason that I’ve seen almost all of the good, bad and ugly within the Canadian healthcare system

Nowhere else in my life do I enjoy such an intense love/hate relationship with a person or entity as I do with the healthcare industry. Anyone who knows me, recognizes that one of the biggest pet peeves in my life has been the need to “convince” a healthcare professional that there’s something wrong or that I’m injured. Today’s healthcare system is almost a revolving door of treating symptoms as quickly and easily as possible and shuffling folks out the door.

Just to be clear, this isn’t the case in ALL situations. My personal physician is a wonderful, attentive woman who has always given me the best care. It’s just unfortunate that she’s located in a city that’s three hours away from me by virtue of my time as a Mountie. It makes it pretty hard to walk in for something on the fly, without scheduling an appointment weeks down the road.

Yesterday, I woke up for the third day in a row in my living room lounger. Cramped, stiff and in pain, it took several minutes of moving around in order to get good blood flow and loosen up my back. This is the result of a strike to the ribs I took during karate class, all the way back on April 2. Although I had seen a doctor a couple of weeks ago, the muscle relaxants I was given did nothing and I was in bad need of a good night’s sleep.

Since the lack of sleep was starting to affect my work, my cognitive abilities and last but not least, my overall fucking mood, I made the decision that I had to get back into. The clinic and see the same doctor for a follow up. There were no scheduled appointments available, so I took a half day off of work and made my way there as a walk-in patient. Besides the usual wait and delayed response in being brought in to the examining room, the doctor walked in and I was able to remind him of the injury and that I was still in serious pain.

His offer was for a stronger muscle relaxant in order to help me sleep. Although this is good in theory, it doesn’t answer the important question of what, exactly is the injury and what can be done to repair it. Despite having been x-rayed, I was only imaged at the back. There’s a very real possibility that a rib is broken/fractured at the front and the lancing pain has me believing it’s at the back. If it’s a torn muscle, it could potentially require surgery to repair. None of these issues seemed to faze the doctor in the least.

I tried to put myself in the doctor’s shoes… After all, having your bicycle stolen off your front lawn may be devastating to you but to the police officer who deals with assaults and murders, it likely isn’t high on their list. This is somewhat akin to that. But his wantonness to simply treat the symptom without examining the cause vexed me, to the point where I thanked him for his time and explained I would find a different doctor to examine the issue. It wasn’t until that was said, that he opted to send me for an ultrasound to see what may be happening inside.

I’m a pretty easy guy in general rot get along with. But one thing a person should never have to do is FIGHT to have treatment when it’s available. I know that some areas of the world don’t have the level of medical care we have here, in Canada. I also know that even just 100 years ago, many people would have suffered indefinitely because of simple things because the technology and knowledge just wasn’t there. But this is 2022, people! If I tell you there’s pain, let’s figure out why!

The good and bad is that I took the stronger muscle relaxant last night and actually got a full night’s sleep (hence how late i the morning this post is). The bad part is that since I slept without waking, I never adjusted when I was in a position that may have aggravated the injury and as a result, I woke up stiffer than ever. As with all things in life, this too, shall pass. The question remains as to how long that will take and how hard I’ll have to fight to get treatment. ☯️

Spicing Things Up…

I grew up in a French Acadian household, which meant that our family’s solution to feeding several individuals was tossing meat, potatoes and various vegetables into a large pot and stewing it until it congealed. It wasn’t all bad but whenever we went to my grandparents for Sunday lunch, that was almost EXCLUSIVELY the meal we had. If we were lucky, dinner rolls would be served as well, which is where I developed my weird affinity for a buttered roll will mustard.

But even within my immediate household, spices and flavourings were never really a thing. My older brother’s illnesses kept him from eating anything spicy and my father and I have ALWAYS had stomach issues (I had ulcers as a child) so our meals, although varied, usually lacked a little “oomph.” Ever try eating baked fish without ANY spices or seasonings? Not quite my thing…

That’s why when I got older and ventured out into the world on my own, I started to indulge in the hottest foods I could find. This included a rather unfortunate incident in Ottawa when I ate at an Indian restaurant and nearly threw up from the excessive spicy food I ingested. Worth it. Totally worth it. Obviously, spicy food can mean more than just bringing the heat and I’d like to go over some of those spicy facts, today.

One of the consistent things I’ve read about spicy food is that it potentially speeds up your metabolism and slows down your appetite. This can be helpful during one’s fitness journey and trying to achieve weight-loss goals. The effects aren’t massive, mind you but every little nit can help. The spicy spices, like chili peppers, have even been reported by some sites as helping to slow and destroy cancer cells. Kinda makes it seem like all those spineless meals during my childhood had me missing out…

Obviously, when I say spices I mean all varieties, hot or not. Some spices have been shown to have positive medicinal effects, as well. But if we’re talking strictly about hot spices, it’s important to remember that in order for there to be a balance, there has to be some bad to the good. Consuming large amounts of hot, spicy foods can cause some nasty and unwanted short-term effects,

Some of those effects can include stomach pains and diarrhea. This usually happens because your nervous system gets overexcited at the heat you’re bringing. Depending on your digestion, you can also experience heartburn. Contrary to what was believed years ago, spicy foods won’t cause stomach ulcers and can actually be helpful in preventing them. But as with all things in life, it’s about moderation and knowing what your body can handle. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m craving buffalo chicken bites…☯️

Memories In The Making…

Yesterday was our eighth wedding anniversary. No, I didn’t forget to post about it yesterday, wise asses! We just hadn’t enjoyed our expected festivities yet and writing about something well before it happens is not without its pitfalls. For example, if our plans changed or got cancelled, I’d have a post going live describing things that never happened. The entire point of a blog is to write about one’s knowledge and experiences.

But yes, yesterday was eight years that my wife and I have been married, nine years years together in total. It’s been a wild and fantastic ride, with the purchase and ownership of a couple of houses, the arrival of both our sons and getting through some of the darkest and most difficult periods of my life together. Somehow, I still wake up every morning and she’s still by my side. I consider anyone strong enough to put up with my bullshit for this many years without running away screaming to be a keeper!

Although we do occasionally enjoy a night out, we’re both a bit more on the homebody side, preferring to binge watch some of our favourite shows while the boys play in their respective ways. So, it’s all the more fun when we get to go out for a special occasion, such as last night. Our evening started with my wife picking me up from work and we went to a local restaurant that we’ve both been wanting to try. We had a fantastic meal and enjoyed ourselves before I decided to do a little something different…

They say that the gift for eight years of marriage is brass, so I started by getting my wife a small, brass heart pendant. I also got her some hardware for her phone to help it operate more smoothly. But for the past year or two, we’ve been playing with the idea of doing something akin to renewing our vows at our 10-year anniversary. With that concept in mind and assuming it would potentially take a year or two to plan anything pertinent, I got her a new wedding ring and proposed again!

She said yes again, so I must be doing something right! My boss was teasing me that if I propose again, I’m giving her an out and I need to be prepared for a different answer than I’m expecting. I was glad to see he was wrong. We capped off our evening by going to the book store. Of course, we did. It was a fantastic evening, loaded with joy and good company. With all the negative that happens in the world, it’s always important to take time to appreciate these special moments. They come and go in an instant but the memories last forever. ☯️

Just For Laughs…

I’ve been complaining about my back quite a bit in recent posts. Nobody likes a crybaby and I have to admit that I’m starting to get some mobility back and the pain is lessening more and more as the days are passing. With that in mind, I thought I’d share a quick clip that illustrates the comedy of the moment… please bear in mind that I hold no rights to this video whatsoever and I simply copied and shared from YouTube. Get a laugh and enjoy! ☯️