Category: Opinion

Gimme A Break!

I’m going to assume that most of my readership is too young to remember the sitcom that today’s title is taken from. “Gimme a Break” was a sitcom that aired in the early 80’s and featured Nell Carter playing a housekeeper named Nell Harper (I know, not very imaginative…) who looks after three young girls for a local police chief. Although it was mostly on because my father watched it, it’s one of those early shows from my childhood that occasionally passes through my subconscious. I can still hear the theme song…

Anyway, enough with the nostalgia! Today’s post is literally about breaks, as it relates to daily life and work. I’ve written on occasion about needing breaks from fitness routines and that still rings true. As important as it may be to stick to a routine and keep fit, sometimes you need to let your body recuperate. The same is just as true for one’s mind. This means taking a break from whatever cranial endeavours you may have your nose buried into, whether it’s paid work or personal study and research.

Last week I found myself working well beyond my scheduled shift. Although this isn’t an unusual occurrence for me, it’s one that I discourage among my staff and coworkers. The simple reason behind this is to prevent people from burning out and reducing their productivity. When we get exhausted, we tend to lose focus, concentration and make mistakes. I only realized when I had worked for almost four hours beyond my scheduled shift end that maybe I needed to back off a bit. It’s pretty easy to get carried away, when you love your job and work from home. But I digress…

It’s always seemed as though I’ve worked with one of two extremes: people who always seem to be doing nothing and the people who never seem able to shut down. The key is to find the happy medium. And with that, I can provide an example. On a particular day, one of my staff asks me if I’d like to join for a morning coffee. I have a mountain of work piling up and I think that I should likely keep at it, until a thought crosses my mind. The fifteen to twenty minutes I take to grab a coffee and converse briefly won’t make the pile bigger. AND it will allow me to shift my mind’s perspective long enough to refresh me. Breaks can be important.

We walk to the next staff’s office. We ask if he wants to join for coffee. He declines because he has too much work to do. Okay, fair enough. but the scenario is the same for that employee. The work will still be there in fifteen minutes and the break is short enough it won’t make it worse. But it may make it better and easier for the employee. After some coaxing, the employee finally decides to join us and we spend twenty minutes chatting about various things and sipping our coffees. Everyone returns to their respective offices with smiles on their faces and caffeine in their systems. Good times.

Sometimes we forget to that even when our bodies are at rest, our minds need a break as well. Even though you may spend 8 hours sitting at a desk (which is fuckin’ horrible for you, BTW. You need to get up every hour, stretch and look outside), your mind needs that occasional respite to recharge and rest, as well. That can only be accomplished by pulling yourself away from the pile and stepping elsewhere. This can apply whether you’re at a job, working from home, studying or doing personal study and/or research. It really doesn’t matter.

The mere act of stepping away and coming back with a refreshed set of eyes can often help increase or maintain your productivity. And if nothing else, it’s important for you from a mental health standpoint. I’ve often said, “When you aren’t exercising the body, you be exercising the mind.” As true as that may be, it’s also important to remember that no matter HOW you rest the body, you should also take time to rest your mind. No matter what your situation, don’t skimp on your breaks. They can pay dividends in the one run. Food for thought… ☯

When Technology Falters…

I have a pretty firm love/hate relationship with technology. On the one side, I owe my survival to technology. Just to be clear, the term “technology” does not simply mean electronic devices. Strange how most people automatically jump to that. Technology means the sum and application of science, for a specific, practical purpose. By that definition, everything from my insulin pump and glucometer, all the way to the lancets used to test my blood, are a result of the practical application of technology.

Outside of the Diabetic realm, I’m also somewhat of a slave to modern technology. I enjoy and use my laptop and smartphone to the same degree as much as other people, and even my coffee maker is the result of technology, the likes of which I usually fail to realize until the power goes out for an extended period. It’s then and only then that one truly comes to realize that we live our daily lives through the use of modern technology.

Technology has brought us far, and even more so in the past hundred years. Especially with the invention of the microchip in the late 1950’s and subsequently, the creation of the central processing unit in the early 1970’s. When you read about the development and advancement of technology, it seems as though we’ve grown in leaps and bounds. But as with all things in life, there must be a balance. And for all the positive, there can and must be some negative. Such is the nature of life…

As such, I’ve taken the time to think about some of the more negative aspects of technology. With that in mind and remembering that this is simply an opinion-based post, here are my top 5 ways that technology has made things worse:

  1. Loss Of Privacy: The Internet is a wonderful thing. Personally, I’m addicted to information and learning, and have been a fan of having the world’s information at my fingertips. I’m of a generation that got to see some of the original iterations of the World Wide Web, from the painful screeching sounds of dial-up to the wonder and immediacy of high-speed. But with the access to the world’s information comes a price. Most technology, including your smart devices, laptops, even some vehicles, track you whereabouts, your search trends and your online preferences (some of which I assume you’d rather keep private). And given that the average household no longer maintains a landline and carries cell phones everywhere, there’s no getting away from potential callers who are trying to reach you. Many long for the days that one could leave one’s house and be out of contact until they reached their destination. Simpler days…;
  2. Lack Of Customer Service: I recently had an experience where I tried to call into a company for a specific services I was trying to obtain. I was greeted by an automated representative who responded and directed my call based on my responses. Much like you would have seen on television or in movies, I had to repeat myself numerous times, even when I finally lost patience and asked for a human representative. Automation is a negative for most aspects of society. it saves money for big corporations, but takes jobs away from living people and affects the economy accordingly. Which brings me to my next point…;
  3. Loss Of Employment: As I mentioned above, job automation costs people jobs. It doesn’t help that it’s so damned handy, in some instances. For example, certain fast food chains have ordering kiosks where you can place your order on a touch screen and pay by debit or credit card. Then, your only interaction with an actual human being is to grab your bag and go. It’s reduced such places to only one cashier as opposed to half a dozen. Job loss in such instances is unavoidable, when you can pay for the hardware and technology once, then simply maintain it. It removes the necessity for human resources, staff retention and training. It certainly seems appealing from an employer’s standpoint, but from an actual economic and employment standpoint, it’s a devastating blow;
  4. It Creates Dependence: As I mentioned in the opening paragraphs, we don’t realize just how much we depend on our technology until we’re found without it for a period of time. I’m reminded of this fact during a power outage we had, last February. The power was out for nearly nineteen hours. During that time, we found ourselves unable to do even the most basic of things. Make coffee, cook food, watch shows to pass time… We read books and stayed bundled up for warmth. We smartened up and made sandwiches and nibbled on finger foods, but we recognized that given the depth of winter, we were totally unprepared for an extended period without power. The eventual cooling of the house would have become dangerous. Although most people don’t think on it, we depend on technology in our daily lives more than we believe; and
  5. It’s Crippling Our Ability To Communicate: Communication is a kept skill. The less you use it, the harder it becomes to return to it. The use of electronic devices and smart phones has reduced/eliminated our ability to talk to each other in a normal manner. I’m sure you all know some of the situations that take place on social media. A person who would generally keep their heads down and scarcely say a word in public, suddenly becomes an outspoken, belligerent and even combative person. While some may view this as “developing” a person’s ability to communicate, one cannot effectively do so through the relative safety of a keyboard. If you walk down the street, you’ll undoubtedly see dozens of people going about their day with their eyes down, staring at a screen. Such has become the way of the world…

Technology can be wonderful and has provided more than we could have ever imagined. And I’m sure that as our technology continues to advance, we’ll continue to advance with it. But the nature of life and universe tells us that for every positive, there is always a negative. As long as we can keep an eye and acknowledge the negatives and take efforts not to be overwhelmed by them, we can certainly benefit and enjoy the positives. ☯

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

What is respect? Is it having people move out of your way, when you approach? Is it having them hold the door for you or invite you to go first? Perhaps it’s the immediate and unconditional obedience of people who are under your authority… Different people have different definitions of respect but not all of them are correct or accurate. I know that for some older generations, that last one is usually the case. I can remember my grandmother, who always DEMANDED immediate and unconditional obedience and respect from her grandchildren. That doesn’t always produce the best results and in today’s modern world, respect can be a fleeting thing.

Without muddying the waters too badly, respect can be easily defined as admiring someone based on their abilities and achievements, while having due regard for their feelings, traditions and rights. So, what does that admiration entail? Is that obedience aspect a requirement? Most people would be inclined to say no. I respect my friends. But I wouldn’t go so far as to say I would obey them. Would I hold doors open for them? Absolutely. The concept of respect has the tendency to be subjective and not always clear to some people.

Let’s take one of the most commonly assumed shows of disrespect: a disgruntled customer. Now, the concept of “the customer is always right” hasn’t really been a thing in quite a long time. For the most part, retail chains are beginning to understand all too well that the phrase that was coined in the early 1900’s in order to ensure customers didn’t feel cheated or deceived, is no longer being exercised in that spirit. But that doesn’t stop certain customers from using the slogan and expecting it to be obeyed.

So, a disgruntled customer comes up to your till. You scan their items and they immediate take notice that the $3.99 item they wanted didn’t scan as $3.30 as they expected. This is an actual scenario I dealt with, back in my retail days. The customer immediately becomes irritated and agitated, perhaps even name-calling and berating the cashier, who is basically powerless to do anything beyond scanning and charging the listed price. Then, they pull the classic trump card out of their pocket… “Get me your manager, NOW! Don’t you know that the customer is always right?”

I walk up and ask the customer how I can help, who then proceeds to spit out the story in as exaggerated and emotional manner possible. All while demanding respecting (DEMANDING) as she is the customer and her patronage pays our salaries… yada, yada, yada… While she’s busy unloading a flood of verbal diarrhea on me, I send a merchandiser to check on the item to see if we had incorrectly priced it. The result was that the price was correct but the item next to it was a bottle with a lesser amount, which resulted in the lower price. I could only assume that the customer’s current bottle was sitting in the wrong slot when she picked it up.

Without getting into the law and applicable legislation that pertains to pricing on retail shelves, I could see that there was no clear way of dealing with this person as they were absolutely adamant that they were right. So I did the only thing I could think of to diffuse the situation and end it before my cashier broke down in tears: I pulled three quarters out of my pocket and handed it to her. When she asked me what i was doing, I responded that I was paying her back the difference in price. She was floored, and said she couldn’t take money from pocket as it should come from the till. I calmly explained that no, it shouldn’t because we don’t provide refunds because something was picked up from the wrong spot on the shelf. But since she believes her patronage pays my salary, she’s welcome to money out of my pocket.

This is only one example, and a pretty common one, of how this customer disrespected the employee. The irony is that the employee was simply doing her job, one in which the customer likely wouldn’t want to do. And what’s even more hilarious is when someone irate is making a total ass of themselves but yet still seems to consider it appropriate to DEMAND respect.

Respect is a fluid thing, and subjective to the person. Respect should be earned and never demanded, although there are instances where respect can be given depending on the situation. The important thing to remember is other people’s perspective. If you can respect someone else’s perspective, it makes it all that easier for others to respect yours. ☯

As Good As Your Word…

I was always raised by my family to not only always be on time, but to always be a bit early to accommodate any unforeseen circumstances that may arise. This applies to all aspects of one’s life, professional or personal. I was also raised that when you say you’re going to do something, you follow through and do it. Today’s post may be a bit more on the ranting side than anything useful, but sometimes you just have to pour it out in order to move on and lighten your soul.

I don’t maintain friendships easily. In fact, there aren’t many to whom I am able to give that title. Maybe I’m just stubborn or perhaps my personal code of ethics and beliefs is so deeply ingrained that I don’t suffer ignorance easily, even when it applies to my friends. I’m totally on board with the concept that we can sometimes go days, weeks and occasionally even months without speaking to each other due to life’s obligations. After all, life doesn’t care about one’s plans. What bothers me, is when someone states they’ll do something and doesn’t follow through. THAT’S when it becomes an issue…

I can provide some pretty specific examples. I have a friend that I used to make efforts to spend some time with. Nothing fancy, just the occasional meeting for coffee or beer. During one meet-up, we decided to grab some dinner at a local restaurant. It was only once the menus were in our hands that it was revealed that the friend was actually short of cash and probably shouldn’t order anything to eat. I’m usually pretty game for letting people find their own way and I agree that if one can’t afford to eat out, one shouldn’t.

That being said, I could hardly sit there and order food when the friend I invited out would sit there with a glass of restaurant tap water. Even if we had gotten together for the conversation and company, it would still throw a wrench into the energy of the evening, so I offered to buy dinner. After the usual back and forth, the friend relented and “agreed” to let me buy dinner. Okay, no big deal, right? If I can’t buy a friend a meal every once in a while, then what’s the point? But there was plenty of other things we could have done that would have cost nothing and been just as pleasant, so I felt a bit off at the fact that dinner was agreed to in the first place.

On the second occasion, we decided to go out for coffee. It was agreed that I would pick up the friend so that we could make our way somewhere to relax and have some good conversation. Once I picked the friend up, I was asked to make a “quick stop” along the way… Seems the friend had lent out a vehicle to someone and it was now dead and required a boost. Basically, I was needed to reach the lent vehicle and use my own vehicle to provide a boost. Nice. After attending to that matter and spending some time out in the cold (it was deep winter, at the time) it was late enough and I had grown tired and we called it a night.

I’m a strong believer of giving people the benefit of the doubt, so I agreed to meet on a third occasion. This time, I provided conditions that worked in my favour. I agreed to meet the friend at a local pub that was only five minutes from my home and the friend would have to find their own way there. It was agreed that we would meet at 6 pm. As is my custom, I arrived at about 5:50 and ordered the first round so it would be ready when the friend arrived. 6 o’clock came and went with no appearance from the friend. Okay. 6:30 hits and I had consumed my beer, so I texted the friend asking when I could expect an appearance.

6:45 struck and I still hadn’t received a response. It’s unconscionable to waste cold beer, so I decided to start on the second round I had provided for the friend. Another could easily be ordered upon their arrival. I texted my wife and asked her opinion on how long I should wait. She replied that it was up to me but that I had already waited far longer than necessary, especially since my messages were going unanswered. Since I was on a second round, I would remain and allow some time, since I still needed to make my way home.

Shortly after 7 pm, the friend finally phoned me and provided some reasoning for being well over an hour late, despite it changing nothing of the current situation. I was asked if I was willing to wait a little bit so they could join me. I declined, since I had already consumed two drinks and still had to make my way home. The friend apologized and indicated that we’d make plans to get together on another night. Needless to say, I stopped trying after that. And this is only one of the examples of why I find it difficult to maintain friendships. There are many others.

For example, I have a long-standing friend from back home, who only ever seems to come visit me when he’s working. Seriously. He’ll only stop in if he can sit and catch up while on his company’s time, which seriously sucks. Just recently, I invited him to my home for a beer, to which he agreed. He was supposed to pop in around 6 o’clock after we had all eaten dinner. At 6:30, he sends me a text message to say that he wanted to walk his dog before driving up and would be at my place around 8 o’clock. Seriously??? With a young son and a toddler to get to bed around that time, I didn’t feel right about hanging out in the garage with beer while my wife dealt with both kids. Light knows she does enough of that in the mornings while I’m gone to work. But what’s more is it pissed me off that he only contacted me half an hour AFTER his agreed time to show up.

Why the hell would you agree to a 6 o’clock meet-up, only to change it to two hours later? Did he not know he’d be wanting to walk his dog? Was it a spur of the moment decision? Couldn’t he have either skipped walking the dog for one day and made an exception or have someone else walk the dog in his stead? Who knows, maybe I’m being the oversensitive asshole, here. I declined his later offer, since I wanted to be able to help out with the kids, plus I was kinda pissed. Just for some clarity, these examples feature two different people. So I’m not just picking on one person.

I always show up. In fact, I always show up a bit early. I consider that practical, but it’s my hang up. However, it’s important that if you say you’ll do something or be somewhere, that yo follow through. I think that’s not only an important social convention, it’s simple manners. I’ll take the friend I haven’t spoken to in a month who actually shows up as agreed, over the one who flakes for no good reason. I have one friend that I meet up with on occasion. The beauty of this friend is that if she isn’t available for something, she’s honest and upfront about it. And if we agree to meet, she always shows up. On time. Maybe that’s why we get along so well. That, and a shared twisted sense of humour.

The hand of friendship is one that should be freely given. But to an extent, it also needs to be earned. That’s what defines the difference between a “friend” and an “acquaintance.” And WHAT you do is at least as important as HOW you do it. Keep your promises. Keep to your commitments. And always show up. Believe me when I say that your friends will be eternally grateful. And if you have even one or two friends who fall under that good category, be sure to keep regular contact and treat them like gold. They’re a rare lot. Food for thought… ☯

Didn’t Your Mother Teach You To Stand Up Straight???

It’s a classic scene. You’re at the kitchen table or in someone else’s home and your mother will quietly but firmly tell you to “Sit up straight,” or “Stand up straight…” Who’d have thought that you should have perhaps listened to that advice as it would serve you well, as it relates to your martial arts journey. I’ve witnessed and trained in a lot of different styles; sometimes for fun and sometimes to add a little something to my self-defence repertoire. And of all things that I’ve learned over the decades, one of the most important ones is to maintain a proper posture and a good centre of balance.

Standing up straight and keeping your weight centred are integral aspects of martial arts and self-defence. When you lean or all your weight is moved forward over a single leg, you put yourself at risk and expose areas that you should probably be thinking about protecting, instead. It often seems that so many arts are willing to allow practitioners to overreach, stand on one leg through extended techniques or have their heads bobbing and weaving every which way… Don’t even get me started on the concept of holding your hands in FRONT of your face.

Have you ever had that ONE friend who, when you were younger would suddenly push you for no good reason other than being a jackass? No? Just me? Alrighty, then… My point is, if you’ve ever experienced this you’ll notice that you can fall over quite easily once your centre of balance is no longer directly below you. And just to be clear, I’m not referring to issues surrounding forms or pre-arranged techniques; I’m referring specifically to issues surrounding a real-world combat scenario where you need to defend yourself.

I’ve always noticed that a strong tendency with some people who fight is to bob and weave their bodies back and forth to avoid strikes. I suppose that if you’re faced with an actual fight, you’ll do whatever is necessary in order to avoid being struck and to ultimately win. But if you bend at the waist in order to avoid a punch, your centre of gravity suddenly finds itself over open air, which will leave you vulnerable in a way that’s much much than what the above-mentioned jackass would cause.

I’m going to be a bit of a bully for a moment and pick on boxers because they’re the best example. They’re definitely not the ONLY ones, but they have a tendency to bend and sway in a variety of directions and what’s worse, they do it with the torso OR the head. I’ll remind all of you that I categorized this post under the “opinion” tab, so there’s no need to lose your cool. The worst is when I’ve seen people who do that frowny, lowered head posture that they believe makes them look so bad-ass. In reality, you’re obscuring your field of vision and exposing sides of your head that will get you smacked!

In traditional Okinawan karate, we’re taught that not only are extremely high kicks dangerous, as they expose the groin and various other areas, they throw off your centre of balance. A quick, prepared opponent can take advantage of this and send you spiralling to the ground. Once you’re down, the game’s pretty much over unless you have increased skill in defending against a standing opponent who’s dropping his boot down on your head. (Cue the voice of Obi-Wan Kenobi… “Don’t do it, Anakin! I have the high ground…)

The same applies to hand techniques and you head, as well. If you overreach during a strike, you face the possibility that someone quick who may have training in grappling (or even someone who doesn’t) could grab your hand and drag you forward. Once you’re off balance, you’ll be too busy trying to regain your footing to avoid the plethora of strikes that may come at you, immediately following your stumble. And anyone I’ve ever sparred against who’s taken the chance of lowering their heads to give me a frowny look has usually been rewarded with a hook punch to the visual cortex.

Although getting into a real world fight scenario is a fluid and unpredictable situation, you should bear the following things in mind:

  • Stand up straight and keep your centre of gravity beneath you;
  • Keep your hands in front of you, but don’t block your face. You don’t want to obstruct your view of the opponent;
  • Keep your head up. Avoid burying your head in your fists as you’ll be unable to see and/or block, if your opponent decides to throw a kick or some other technique at you;
  • If you’re going to perform kicks, be reasonable and keep them at waist-height or lower. High kicks may result in a loss of balance; and
  • Don’t overreach! You should be able to know the distance of your reach. If your opponent is outside of your reach, the proper recourse is to step in BEFORE punching, not try to overreach.

You can get into the proper mindset on all of those with one simple method: drills! Drills, drills, drills! Keep practicing and build that muscle memory. If you develop safe habits and techniques in training, you’ll have a much better chance of doing the same in the streets if you find yourself in a fight situation. ☯

From Coppertone Baby To COVID Baby…

Ahh, the Coppertone Baby… For those who may not be in the know, since it may no longer be a popular thing, it featured a toddler having her swimwear yanked down by a puppy to expose her backside. It became a thing in the early 1950’s and worked towards making Coppertone famous as a leading brand of sunscreen. It became their principle logo on most products and still is on some. As a child, Coppertone was a common name around my house as my mother used to slather my brother and I with sunblock in an effort to keep us from burning. Mostly due to the fact that we were white as ghosts from childhood illnesses but also because being the child of a red-headed man, I had the ginger gene and my skin didn’t fare well in the sun.

By the same token, my children are both very fair-skinned and they come by this honestly, since I carry the redhead gene and my wife is redheaded, herself. My youngest son, Alex, happens to have bright red hair. And he is what I refer to as a “COVID baby.” Although you may find some different meaning behind this term online, I use it to refer to infants and toddlers who were born into the time of the pandemic and have never known any different. My son Alexander was born in September of 2019, only six shorts months before the world slipped into lockdown. He’s only a few months away from being two years old, and he’s never known anything but a life of COVID-19 restrictions.

My son Alex and I, about a month ago

I had the opportunity to take him out a small handful of times after his birth, including trips to visit my coworkers at the office, a few restaurant outings and a couple of trips to see Grandma and Grandpa. Unfortunately, Alex has never met my parents, who live in New Brunswick. The world locked down before we were able to make it out, and they’ve been limited to photos and the few short video clips I’ve managed to send them on DVD, since neither of them can handle technology. It brought me to think about all the ways the pandemic has affected my young children. But nothing did so as clearly as what happened last weekend.

Since it was Mother’s Day last Sunday (a fact I should have recognized and posted about! My bad, Moms!), we planned on picking up some finger foods with which to have a picnic in our backyard. Coupled with some cake and time together as a family, it seemed like a very “COVID-friendly” way of celebrating Mother’s Day. We already had the cake, having done groceries the previous day. But we wanted some snack meats, cheese and pickles to pair up with some crackers prior to eating the cake. Since there were a couple of stops to make including getting the car washed, I suggested we go as a family.

Alex is already used to being in the car, since he’s been on rides every now and again when we’ve dropped Nathan off at school and on a couple of occasions when pandemic conditions have lessened enough for us to take him to groceries and such. And riding around in our family vehicle doesn’t really stretch the expectations of Health Regulations, since I was the only one attending the errands while others waited on the car. But Alex hasn’t really experienced much beyond the inside of our small home and backyard. I’m quickly reminded of this fact by the way he sometimes reacts to normal things.

After picking up an item from someone through a buy and sell site, we attended a local drive-thru carwash, where we had some music playing in the car and Nathan excitedly waited to see the “colour in the foam” (tricolour soap). He loves sitting through the car wash and enjoys seeing all the water sprayed everywhere. As soon as the water jets started rinsing off the family vehicle, we discovered that such is not the case for Alex, who started screaming and crying at the sound and appearance of the water hitting the vehicle.

It only took us a moment to realize what was happening, and I had foolishly purchased the longest wash available, since Nathan absolutely loves sitting through it. My wife was able soothe and stay with Alex throughout the process so that we could get the hell out of there and every pass of the water freaked him out. It made me realize just how little of the outside world he’s been exposed to. And one has to wonder what the long term effects this will have on all the children born during the pandemic.

We often believe that children are resilient and can adjust to anything. And so they are. But the belief that this pandemic hasn’t affected children, especially the younger ones, is a falsehood. The fact that most of these younger children will be forced to learn and experience the world through the screen of a device and spoken word as opposed to being out there and living it will have long-term damaging effects that may change the face of our society forever. Depending on how long the pandemic takes to end, it may still be a while before children get to cut loose and roam free in the world. And who knows knows how reclusive our children may have become by that point? ☯

The Many Shades Of Green

The grass is always greener on the other side. Is it, though? Humans are notorious for wanting what they can’t have, but they tend to be just as bad or worse for wanting what they DON’T have. It’s a pretty common reflex. If you want to purchase a particular vehicle that you’ve seen one of your neighbours driving, you may work towards getting it. But usually, soon thereafter you’ll see something ELSE and think, “Oh, wow! Wish I had that instead…”

Most of us have thought or felt this way, at some point in our lives. I believe the old school term is “coveting.” Although most people automatically think of the Holy Bible when they hear this term, it can easily apply to life in general. The problem is that modern life makes it likely that there will always be a “step up” from where you find yourself at or what you may possess. It shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that I’m a bit of a minimalist and could care less about possessions. But even I find myself in that same boat, on occasion.

It’s easy to covet what we don’t have. But once you accept what you DO have and appreciate it, life becomes so much easier and peaceful. I think it was Oprah Winfrey who said, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” At least I think it was Oprah. It’s similar to saying that if you wait to spot the field with the greener grass, you’ll miss the whole train ride. ☯

“Appreciate What You Have, Before Time Makes You Appreciate What You Had.”

– Vijay Raj

You Can’t Help If You Don’t Know

We often like to believe that the world as we know it is at its most chaotic and that things have never been this weird or strange. But in truth, things have pretty much always stayed consistent. In their own way. We generally feel like there’s been a measurable change in society because recent decades have opened a spigot on accepting everyone and everything, combined with a complete and total inability to process and accept criticism, judgement and opinions. It’s a toxic combination as it’s breeding a world where people can claim to be whatever they want (even if they aren’t that particular thing) and shame on you if you tell them different. Have you experienced this? I recently did and what’s worse is, it was with someone I’m actually acquainted with. I can’t imagine the further shit storm I would have faced, had I been a stranger.

One of the things that’s always lit a fire under me is how folks simply EXPECT you to know something about them. And of course, every situation is specific and circumstantial to the moment, but sometimes one needs to acknowledge that there has to be a bit of give to your take. A good example I can provide is from almost twenty years’ ago when I managed a restaurant. We had a gentleman who came in, almost on a daily basis. He was a bit older than I was and was usually accompanied by what appeared to be family. Nothing out of the ordinary, other than the fact that he was in a wheelchair. This was not a temporary thing and he had obviously had something happen to him, earlier in life.

Through coincidence and circumstance, I had never had the opportunity to serve him. Then one day, I did. I took his order, accepted his payment and held out his change, which he accepted. Then I made the apparently offensive mistake of offering to carry his tray to the table… Now, I totally get that everyone is on their own journey and we never know what they’re going through and so on and so forth. And that’s quite true. You never know what’s bubbling underneath the surface. But the way this gentleman reacted to me was disproportionate to the fact that I was simply making an offer to help. He took instant offence and became irritated, asking me how I dared to assume he was incapable of carrying his own tray.

Being as I had worked at that particular job for quite some time and had plenty of practice at staying calm in the face of customer anger, I simply took a step back, held my hands out placatingly and apologized, as the man grabbed his tray, laid it across the arms of his wheelchair and pushed off. He executed each movement with the kind of over-exaggerated jerkiness that made it clear he was upset. He also never broke eye contact, glaring at me the whole time. Holy shit. What just happened? I asked the two other floor managers I was working with if they knew the story, but neither of them did.

Since I’m a firm believer in allowing matters to cool before addressing them, I left the man alone but I chose to address one of the family members he had with him. I explained what had happened and I asked her if she knew why he had taken such offence. She explained that it was mostly a pride thing, as he always tried to be as independent as possible despite being in a wheelchair. I wanted to tell her that I understood but that he may want to reconsider his approach, since the person he’s addressing may not know that. instead, I just said that I understood and asked her to apologize on my behalf as he seemed to be pretty pissed at me. She nodded understandingly and said that she would.

This begs the question? Was I the asshole? And no, I don’t mean in general, before any of my friends or family jump on THAT particular bandwagon. But was it fair of this person to use their anger on me like that for something I didn’t know about? One would think that it would make sense to offer aid to someone who is in a wheelchair and although it could be understood that such a person would want to retain independence and do things for themselves, would it not be the better approach to simply explain that, rather than get angry?

The rights and acknowledgment of a large number of different groups has become a hot topic around the world. One good example is gender identity, which has become something of the norm in recent years. We always see stories on the news about people who have gotten into physical altercations and public arguments because someone might have said “sir” or “ma’am.” Every person has the right to their identity as they see fit, but is it fair to unleash the hounds on every person who may not know? You can see and read about these situations almost every day as they relate to politics, gender identity, handicap and the less visible diseases and sexual orientation.

And although I know that this can be a bit of a touchy subject, it begs an important question as to whether it’s more important to receive the correct acknowledgement or be treated in a specific way as opposed to making it clear in the first place. I think that if I address someone by a particular title, I would like to be informed if I’m incorrect. This would be much easier than starting an angered tirade that can easily snowball into something uglier. I’d rather not have that person emotionally explode in my face because they identify as something other than the term I used.

I’m not referring to times when dealing with specific folks who feels it necessary to work AGAINST any particular group. That’s an entirely different bag. I’m referring to the normal, everyday interactions that we have while out in public (not that THAT happens much these days). Harmony and peace would be so much easier if people would simply take a moment and say, “Please address me this way…” or “No, thank you. I can manage this on my own.” As a Diabetic, I’ve often had people try to be accommodating or helpful. Especially when they’re “helpfully” suggesting what I should or shouldn’t eat… But that’s for another post. My point is, I view such instances as a chance for education and clarification. If every person did as much, it could go a long way towards preventing so many negative encounters. Food for thought… ☯

Make Sure It’s For You

Look at that bald, handsome devil! I may be a bit biased, of course. This is me on my way to work, last week. Despite the current pandemic situation, I don’t have the available space or resources to be working from home. So I go to the office. There are a very limited number of staff working on site at the moment. And most employees have taken to dressing somewhat more casually than they usually would, with a full office. So, this begs the question… Why do I go through the effort of a clean shave and a properly tailored suit? I do it for me. Plain and simple.

Appearances aren’t everything, and this much is true. But there’s definitely something to be said about taking some steps to improve your self-image by dressing and/or training in such a way that makes YOU feel better about YOU. I could no doubt sit in my office in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but my suit makes ME feel professional and improves MY self-image. This leads to healthier, happier days and better productivity as a result.

This line of thinking came to mind when I was having a conversation with one of the guys at the office, who mentioned his disdain for people who constantly post photos of themselves without a shirt and flexing at the gym. He commented that he wondered who that was for and felt that it was a bit on the braggy side. I can honestly say that I agree. I know people who do nothing but posts constant stream of photos of themselves in various flexing poses and such. I know, I know… THIS, coming from the guy who just threw a GQ pose into his blog post…

I’m mostly referring to the folks who don’t post the photos to show their progress or to show the “before” and “after” side of their journey, but just take photos for the sake of flexing for people to comment on them. There’s a big difference between having a healthy image of oneself and being narcissistic. This is a personal opinion, of course. I’m sure there are those who feel that constantly posting photos of themselves does in fact help them to self-motivate and work towards their fitness and self-image goals. And as they say, to each their own. It simply isn’t the way a humble person does business.

The simple bottom line is this: Dress to impress. But it better be to impress yourself. How you look and feel to yourself is the primary importance. As long as you have a positive self-image and feel great, you’ll project the confidence and energy that you need to be successful. And if you’re brave enough to share your fitness journey through photographs, be sure that it’s also being done for you and your continued well-being. You’ll be all the better for it. Food for thought… ☯

When Bad Habits Can Be Good

I’ve been known to have my share of bad habits, from lack of sleep to eating a plate of nachos when I’m too lazy to make an actual meal. But, can there be times when bad habits can actually have some benefits? I’ve done a fair bit of searching, only to find that the articles that typically deal with the “benefits” of bad habits refer to things such as cursing, consuming too much coffee and fidgeting. But what about some of the more common bad habits that no one claims any benefit to? Are there any? I believe so…

A short while back, I took a couple of hours to indulge in the holy trifecta of bad habits: a cigar, a beer and a comic book. Classically, all three of these things are viewed as unhealthy. There’s no argument here, that smoking is bad for you. I have the benefit of saying that I have the occasional cigar every few months and it isn’t a consistent habit. That’s how I rationalize it. The occasional glasses of wine or beer are a bit more frequent, and one needs to recognize the calories, carbohydrates and effects it can have on a Type-1’s blood sugar levels. Coming books certainly aren’t a bad habit, per say. But there are obviously better, more constructive uses of my money and time if I wanted to read something.

My trifecta. Don’t judge my choice of beer.

As I was sitting there enjoying my little treasure trove of bad habits, I got to thinking about what it is I ACTUALLY get out of indulging in these habits. And I came up with a few reasonably good points. This is a short list, and I in no way endorse or encourage the use and indulgence of the above seen items in the photo. This is simply my opinion and what I feel I get out of it.

Relaxation: If I have to explain the how’s and why’s that alcohol can relax a person, then you’re either a minor who shouldn’t be drinking anyway, or a someone who has simply never had a drink, which is good. Stick with that. But the “ceremony” of sitting back and sipping on an ice cold beer on a sunny afternoon has a distinctive calming effect. And being calm is good. The aroma and warmth of the cigar also has a calming effect;
Time Alone: No matter your familial situation and ESPECIALLY given the current state of the world, taking some time to spend on your own is important and has its benefits as well. Time alone allows you to collect your thoughts, contemplate the days that have passed and allows you to partake in reading or just enjoying the day, without interruption;
I Can Meditate While Doing It: This is more of a “me” benefit, but if monks can sit in a meditative state while incense is burning and coiling around them, my cigar should be no different. Considering life obligations and distractions, meditation no longer happens for me as often as I’d like. These little quiet moments are an opportunity to do just that. This isn’t traditional or typical, but one can get themselves to a point where they can effectively meditate while performing other actions, such as these;
Enjoyment: And this last one simply points to the more selfish side of me. I enjoy the occasional beer. I enjoy the occasional cigar. And I certainly wouldn’t be the Alpha Nerd that I am if I didn’t enjoy comic books. Granted, I essentially enjoy reading in general.

Are these bad habits? Yes. Could I live without them? Absolutely. And that’s the difference. When stating these “benefits,” I’m not referring to the unfortunate folks who have addiction or are slaves to their bad habits. That’s an entirely different ball game. And I can certainly admit that all of these things have a financial cost to them that could likely be allotted elsewhere. But as everyone has no doubt heard, at some point in their lives, you can’t take it with you. Happiness is important to proper health and longer life. ☯