Category: Opinion

Can’t Walk A Mile In Someone’s Shoes When It’s Painful…

Well over a month ago, I suffered a pretty painful injury during a karate seminar as a result of trying to spar like I was still in my twenties. I was doing pretty good, for a few minutes. In my head, I was moving with the same speed and grace as I did when I was first graded as a black belt. In reality, I was moving with the level of grace that a thick sap slowly moves its way down the trunk of a tree. And I paid the price in pain…

My opponent caught me with a straight punch to the upper ribs, with his dominant hand, no less. There are three important lessons to be learned from that experience; one for me, one for him and one for both of us. The lesson for me is that I shouldn’t have walked into an oncoming punch. Although I was throwing an attack of my own at the time, focus should be on preserving and protecting oneself first. You can’t protect yourself or others if you get taken out.

The lesson for my opponent is that at his level of skill, he should have been able to control his strike and even halt it short of impacting. One of the differences that I’ve noticed with Shotokan as opposed to Uechi Ryu, is that the practitioners are all in, on every strike, even in practice. Although this can be useful in developing strength to your strikes, it can be detrimental to one’s overall control. But I digress…

The lesson for the two of us, is that even a strike that isn’t at full power can still be devastating when properly applied. After all, if a strike from 1 to 10, where 1 is a light touch and 10 is the intention to kill, I seriously doubt that my opponent, who just happens to be a practitioner in the same dojo as I am, had ANY intentions of killing me. But the results of that strike have been enough to keep me on my ass for the past month, proving that an effective strike doesn’t have to be “all in” to be effective.

The past month has been increasingly difficult, especially in the first couple of weeks. I’ve had a hard time moving and every little thing, including but not limited to sneezing, coughing, burping and farting has sent me into spasms of pain where I’d be seeing stars for several minutes before it would finally subside. Don’t even get me started on the challenges of showering or using the washroom. A month has passed but the pain has not, although it is getting better. Damaged muscles can take weeks and even months to heal. But I’ve learned to appreciate some important aspects along the way…

My father has been wheelchair-bound for almost 20 years, now. Cursed with a degenerative spine, he’s been living with constant, 10 out of 10 pain for years. Nothing has ever worked for him or is expected to. It’s pain he simply has to live with. And although my pain is nowhere near at the level his is, I can appreciate certain aspects that constant pain causes. Here are a few things that you should never say to someone who is in pain:

1. “The pain can’t be that bad.” I’ve spent years hearing people talk to my mother and make that very comment about my father. For one thing, what’s only a 5 out of 10 pain to one person may be much, much worse for someone else. No one has the right to gauge your pain for you.
2. “Why are you so tired?” Constant pain is exhausting. People don’t tend to think so because when a person is in pain, their last thought is of getting sleep. The problem comes from managing that pain over a long period of time. It takes its toll on the body and can be devastatingly exhausting. Most chronic conditions will be like this. I have a dear friend who has fibromyalgia (hopefully I spelled that right) and although she wears a brave face, the constant pain makes getting through the day with a smile quite challenging.
3. “You’d feel better if you got up and did something.” No, no, I would not. I’ll be the first to admit that one shouldn’t just flop down and refuse to move until ALL pain has subsided. Besides the fact that sitting idle can be a problem for someone with type-1 Diabetes due to poor circulatory and nerve-related issues, there’s the danger of stiffening up from doing nothing, which can extend the amount of time required to heal. Don’t even get me started on loss of muscle mass and atrophy. But sometimes you gotta baby that injury and allow your tissues to heal. This can mean putting your feet up and letting the finely-tuned machine that is your body do its job and fix the injury before you push yourself.

Everyone’s pain is different. I can honestly say that although I’m not on the same pain level as my father, I can certainly sympathize with some of the issues he faces with his back being out of commission. Makes me appreciate all the more, how some people, even medical professionals, try to push him in ways his body is incapable of responding. Don’t ever judge someone else’s pain. You can never tell how an individual may be feeling or dealing with a particular pain. And no one has a right to gauge your pain but you. Food for thought…☯️

What’s Right? Doing Right? Feeling Right?

In a world of continued entitlement and first-world problems, navigating society can only be achieved through very rough waters. And I refer to rough waters often in my posts, because it always seems like some fuckers are trying to ice skate uphill (that’s a line from the movie Blade, it’s not mine). I continue to be amazed at how people tend to lean on what they believe to be “the principle” of a matter, as opposed to doing what’s actually right, moral and in some cases, even legal.

I offer up a CBC article I read yesterday as a prime example of what I’m getting at. You can read the article here: Bitter dispute over old beach road pits Cape Breton community against owner. Y’all can go read the article for yourself (after all, that’s why I linked it) but the just of the situation is there’s an old beach road outside a small community in Cape Breton that’s been used to access a stretch of beach by the community for decades. Recently, someone originally from British Columbia purchased the property and the road runs through it. Cue the drama…

The article does a pretty good job of illustrating two clear sides of the story and how there’s a case to be made for either. On the one hand, if the property owner has purchased the land, including the road, shouldn’t she enjoy clear ownership of the land she paid for? This would seem to make sense, since I would expect to be able to make decisions about any piece of property that I paid for.

On the other hand, you have several generations of people who are part of this community and have been using this road for years. I can imagine feeling some kind of way about a random person who isn’t government or law enforcement, suddenly coming along and trying to tell me I’m not allowed to drive down a road that I’ve been using for years… Given my temper and temperament, you can well imagine how well THAT would go. Unfortunately, I’ve been in that EXACT situation back in New Brunswick, during my younger years.

The big question is, who’s right? The letter of the law would seem to provide that if it’s private property, people should stay the hell off of it, if the landowner deems it so. But what about the moral thing? The community-spirited thing? The RIGHT thing? These are the aspects that people seem inclined to cast aside and forego, no matter how important it may be. If it were me, I would be inclined to let the community continue to use the road. After all, it’s a fucking road! But that’s just me, apparently.

The article wraps with the landowner claiming that if it turns out that her lawyers or real estate agents made a mistake and the road isn’t hers, she would be selling the property. Really? The article outlines some of her concerns but honestly, some of it is a clear picture of how far society has fallen in terms of getting along with one another. As a child, I remember that if I were outside playing and a parent brought a poposicle to their kid who was playing outside as well, they’d likely ask me if I wanted one. Nowadays, the parent would likely look at the other child with thinly-veiled suspicion.

I bring this up because it directly relates with how there is suffering in the world, we tend to cause our own suffering but often, others cause unnecessary suffering when there are easier and more collaborative ways to reduce or prevent it. Also because I see a lot of this type of petty behaviour in my line of work; instances where people will block access to certain things for no reason other than they own it and can do it. Never mind the pain and suffering that their “legal and harmless” action may bring to others…

“It’s not about the use, it’s the principle of the thing…” Give me a fucking break… You’re just being a dick. Society talks about how enlightened we’ve become and how far we’ve advanced but scenarios where it’s neighbour versus neighbour are dealt with in the most petty of ways. We need to learn, as a society, to take the moral path and stop focusing on what we believe is “the principle.” Although principles can be an effective guiding, well… principle, they won’t get you far in life. Food for thought… ☯️

You Gotta Fight, For Your Right…

I was diagnosed with type-1 Diabetes when I was 4-years old. And even before that, the majority of my existence was spent in hospitals as my older brother was unfortunately blessed with a failing body that caused issues more often than not. So it stands to reason that I’ve seen almost all of the good, bad and ugly within the Canadian healthcare system

Nowhere else in my life do I enjoy such an intense love/hate relationship with a person or entity as I do with the healthcare industry. Anyone who knows me, recognizes that one of the biggest pet peeves in my life has been the need to “convince” a healthcare professional that there’s something wrong or that I’m injured. Today’s healthcare system is almost a revolving door of treating symptoms as quickly and easily as possible and shuffling folks out the door.

Just to be clear, this isn’t the case in ALL situations. My personal physician is a wonderful, attentive woman who has always given me the best care. It’s just unfortunate that she’s located in a city that’s three hours away from me by virtue of my time as a Mountie. It makes it pretty hard to walk in for something on the fly, without scheduling an appointment weeks down the road.

Yesterday, I woke up for the third day in a row in my living room lounger. Cramped, stiff and in pain, it took several minutes of moving around in order to get good blood flow and loosen up my back. This is the result of a strike to the ribs I took during karate class, all the way back on April 2. Although I had seen a doctor a couple of weeks ago, the muscle relaxants I was given did nothing and I was in bad need of a good night’s sleep.

Since the lack of sleep was starting to affect my work, my cognitive abilities and last but not least, my overall fucking mood, I made the decision that I had to get back into. The clinic and see the same doctor for a follow up. There were no scheduled appointments available, so I took a half day off of work and made my way there as a walk-in patient. Besides the usual wait and delayed response in being brought in to the examining room, the doctor walked in and I was able to remind him of the injury and that I was still in serious pain.

His offer was for a stronger muscle relaxant in order to help me sleep. Although this is good in theory, it doesn’t answer the important question of what, exactly is the injury and what can be done to repair it. Despite having been x-rayed, I was only imaged at the back. There’s a very real possibility that a rib is broken/fractured at the front and the lancing pain has me believing it’s at the back. If it’s a torn muscle, it could potentially require surgery to repair. None of these issues seemed to faze the doctor in the least.

I tried to put myself in the doctor’s shoes… After all, having your bicycle stolen off your front lawn may be devastating to you but to the police officer who deals with assaults and murders, it likely isn’t high on their list. This is somewhat akin to that. But his wantonness to simply treat the symptom without examining the cause vexed me, to the point where I thanked him for his time and explained I would find a different doctor to examine the issue. It wasn’t until that was said, that he opted to send me for an ultrasound to see what may be happening inside.

I’m a pretty easy guy in general rot get along with. But one thing a person should never have to do is FIGHT to have treatment when it’s available. I know that some areas of the world don’t have the level of medical care we have here, in Canada. I also know that even just 100 years ago, many people would have suffered indefinitely because of simple things because the technology and knowledge just wasn’t there. But this is 2022, people! If I tell you there’s pain, let’s figure out why!

The good and bad is that I took the stronger muscle relaxant last night and actually got a full night’s sleep (hence how late i the morning this post is). The bad part is that since I slept without waking, I never adjusted when I was in a position that may have aggravated the injury and as a result, I woke up stiffer than ever. As with all things in life, this too, shall pass. The question remains as to how long that will take and how hard I’ll have to fight to get treatment. ☯️

Spicing Things Up…

I grew up in a French Acadian household, which meant that our family’s solution to feeding several individuals was tossing meat, potatoes and various vegetables into a large pot and stewing it until it congealed. It wasn’t all bad but whenever we went to my grandparents for Sunday lunch, that was almost EXCLUSIVELY the meal we had. If we were lucky, dinner rolls would be served as well, which is where I developed my weird affinity for a buttered roll will mustard.

But even within my immediate household, spices and flavourings were never really a thing. My older brother’s illnesses kept him from eating anything spicy and my father and I have ALWAYS had stomach issues (I had ulcers as a child) so our meals, although varied, usually lacked a little “oomph.” Ever try eating baked fish without ANY spices or seasonings? Not quite my thing…

That’s why when I got older and ventured out into the world on my own, I started to indulge in the hottest foods I could find. This included a rather unfortunate incident in Ottawa when I ate at an Indian restaurant and nearly threw up from the excessive spicy food I ingested. Worth it. Totally worth it. Obviously, spicy food can mean more than just bringing the heat and I’d like to go over some of those spicy facts, today.

One of the consistent things I’ve read about spicy food is that it potentially speeds up your metabolism and slows down your appetite. This can be helpful during one’s fitness journey and trying to achieve weight-loss goals. The effects aren’t massive, mind you but every little nit can help. The spicy spices, like chili peppers, have even been reported by some sites as helping to slow and destroy cancer cells. Kinda makes it seem like all those spineless meals during my childhood had me missing out…

Obviously, when I say spices I mean all varieties, hot or not. Some spices have been shown to have positive medicinal effects, as well. But if we’re talking strictly about hot spices, it’s important to remember that in order for there to be a balance, there has to be some bad to the good. Consuming large amounts of hot, spicy foods can cause some nasty and unwanted short-term effects,

Some of those effects can include stomach pains and diarrhea. This usually happens because your nervous system gets overexcited at the heat you’re bringing. Depending on your digestion, you can also experience heartburn. Contrary to what was believed years ago, spicy foods won’t cause stomach ulcers and can actually be helpful in preventing them. But as with all things in life, it’s about moderation and knowing what your body can handle. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m craving buffalo chicken bites…☯️

My Vices Have Me In A Vice…

We all have bad habits. Each and every one of us. If you claim NOT to have bad habits, being in denial is your bad habit. Truth. For myself, I’ve had several throughout the course of my life. I’ve been fortunate enough that my vices have never been extreme, severe or had lasting negative effects. Until recently…

For quite a long time, I used to enjoy a good cigar. This came about as a calming exercise when dealing with some of my PTSD-related issues. I came to enjoy it, and there’s nothing quite like lounging in the shade on a warm summer day, puffing away comfortably on a good cigar. Eventually, I came to find that it affected my overall lung capacity (even though you aren’t supposed to inhale a cigar) so I quit.

One of my other unfortunate vices, is the tendency to kick back with an “adult” beverage when I get home. In recent years, there’s been something liberating about knowing that once I’m home, I’m home and I’m not on call and there‘s no risk of my needing to leave the house. It became progressively easier to have supper, do dishes and then kick back and pour a glass. Over time, I moved from the occasional beer to the occasional spirits, since they tend to be carb-free.

It wasn’t until my recent visit to my endocrinologist that I discovered my potassium levels were quite high. I’ve written about this in a previous post but in summary, we discussed various food and drink items that may be causing the higher levels and I agreed to cut back on all of them. I was also prescribed a temporary “water pill” to help flush out the excess potassium.

It isn’t until I was doing some research for one of my posts (while enjoying a stiff Brandy, no less) that I landed upon a number of articles that addressed increased levels of potassium. Turns out that alcohol consumption can cause your muscle tissue to break down. This leads to the release of high amounts of potassium in to one’s bloodstream.

You might be thinking, “Isn’t potassium good for you?” The answer is yes, yes it is. But as with all other things in life, it all comes down to balance. Too much potassium in the bloodstream is know as “hyperkalemia” and can usually be treated, hence the water pills. But continued, increased levels of potassium can be very hard on the heart and can lead to a batch of other nasty effects.

To add shit to the pile, people with Diabetes are at higher risk for hyperkalemia. In keeping with the concept that we tend to cause our own suffering, it appears that my own vice, as carb-free and relaxing as it has been, is the root cause of my increased potassium levels. So, yet another vice that I’m cutting out. And that’s not a bad thing.

I can’t help but think I would have learned this sooner, had my doctor asked about my alcohol consumption. Although I don’t drink to excess, my occasional drinks every few nights a a week likely didn’t help my potassium levels. All one can do is live and learn. Does it mean I’ll never enjoy a nice drink on the weekends or after work? Of course not. I’ll simply be more mindful and be sure to keep the amounts nominal. Sometimes, the simplest solutions yield the best results. ☯️

You Shouldn’t Drink Poison Just Because You’re Thirsty…

Anyone who’s read any number of my posts already know that the reduction/elimination of suffering is kinda my jam. Not only for myself but for others, as well. Life doesn’t make this easy, although some might argue that this simply represents a balance to life. After all, we wouldn’t recognize the light if not for the darkness, right?

Trying to navigate our way in life can be made all the more difficult when there are toxic people in our environment. I’ve dealt with more than my fair during my younger years. It never helped that I was significantly more timid in the years leading up to becoming a peace officer and before karate instilled a sense of self in me that I didn’t have before.

My point is that when someone is toxic and to be clear, this toxicity can be subjective to you, it takes away your positive energy, drags you down and makes you feel as though life is all that much harder. When I say it’s subjective, I mean that what’s toxic for one person may be perfectly fine for another. I believe an example is in order…

I once dated a girl that was a frequent drug user. Nothing out of this world and nothing with the level of seriousness that would require Will Smith and Martin Lawrence to suddenly jump on the scene. But serious enough that it bothered me. The worst part was when I brought it this person’s attention, only to have them snub me and disregard my thoughts and feelings.

Although that may sound a bit like modern snowflake thinking, the negativity and toxicity that person exuded affected all aspects of my life and worked towards dragging me down. But to someone like-minded and who also does it, her occasional recreational use of drugs would have seemed perfectly normal and the other person would likely have joined in. See? Subjective. Ultimately, I broke up with her when I walked into her house the one day and caught her in bed with another dude. Toxic, indeed.

This is but one example of different times in my life where I’ve had associations, either friendships or jobs, that imposed a negative energy on me and made life difficult. When it comes to. A job, it can be hard to walk away from a toxic environment, especially if it’s your only means of income. But believe me when I say that it isn’t worth it.

In the same way that you shouldn’t drink poison just because you’re thirsty, you shouldn’t maintain friendships that bring a negative element or toxicity into your life. It can be difficult, but learning to walk away will have you faring SO much better. Life is short. Ain’t no time for all that bullshit. Take care of yourselves first, and surround yourselves with people and an environment conducive to a positive existence. Food for thought… ☯️

Dolor Maximus… Non Dormiunt…

I promise that I’ll stop bitching about my ribs. Maybe not anytime soon, but I will. I guess I’m just not used to being in a constant state of pain with nothing I can really do to alleviate it. I’m suddenly far more sympathetic for my father’s situation, not that I wasn’t before. The point is, the past week and a half have presented their fair share of challenges and some of them were worse than others. Allow me to explain. For those who may not have read my posts in the last week or so, I suffered an injury to my left flank while sparring with one of my fellow black belts over a weekend seminar. I stepped in with an attack using my left arm and my skilled opponent managed to duck around and punch straight into my torso, causing a sharp burst of pain and taking the breath out of me.

Luckily, we were one of the last matches before we broke for lunch so I was able to change and make my way home. I didn’t make the afternoon session as my left side felt swollen with a sharp pain every time I moved, breathed, sneezed, coughed or swallowed. At the time, I assumed that perfect it was simply a pain of the moment; that it would pass by the following day. I was wrong. Oh, boy, was I wrong! When I awoke on the Monday morning, I could barely move. I had to do that thing that turtles do, where I shifted my weight back and forth, in order to get up. My morning routine was brutal and the pain seemed to have gotten worse instead of better. I began to contemplate that perhaps I had fractured a rib.

I started to contemplate the possibility. It takes roughly 3,000 to 4,000 Newtons of Force to fracture or break a rib, which translates to a punch of about 675 psi (pounds per square inch). This would make sense, since martial artists our trained to punch with almost equivalent force to a boxer’s average punch of approximately 770 psi. That being the case, there was a definite possibility that my skilled opponent fractured something. On the other hand, the pain was somewhat different from the pain I felt back in 2011 when I suffered a confirmed fracture on my right side. Bottom line, I had to figure out if there was an actual break or not.

I decided to give it the Monday, as it was possible that the pain would still pass. I wasn’t completely debilitated, so I made my way to work and put in my day as usual. I emailed the dojo to let them know I would be absent for some time while I recovered. When Tuesday came, I noticed that the pain was getting worse. This suggested something muscular to me but as I often say, I’m not a doctor. My wife had a doctor’s appointment scheduled for the coming Friday that she no longer required. Instead of cancelling it, she called in and had it switched to my name instead.

Friday might have seemed like a long time to wait but trying to go to the ER for my current condition would be far worse. It would a require a wait time of six to eight hours at minimum, followed by an exhausted ER doctor who may not have the wherewithal to order an x-ray and would like send me on my way with some ibuprofen. No, thank you! It was better for me to go about my week without attending karate, allow myself to heal and take advantage of a scheduled appointment where the doctor might be more receptive to comment and suggestions. You can read about how that appointment went here.

In case you don’t have time to go back and read that post, I’ll simply say that it was a statutory holiday last Friday and while I was able to get in and see a doctor, the x-ray clinic was closed and I returned the next day in order to have my rib cage imaged. Now, the doctor said something that seriously gets on my nerves… He indicated he would call me IF he found a break or fracture. I asked him to contact me even if there wasn’t to confirm, to which he reiterated that he’d only call if he found something. When I asked how long I should wait, he said he couldn’t give me a definitive timeline; it would happen after he received the images and had time to assess them. Maybe in the next week or so.

The issue I take with such a statement, is that I’m sitting here in pretty serious pain and with every passing day, I’m wondering if a phone call will be forthcoming. This can be nerve-wracking. The only solace I take from this whole thing is that there really isn’t anything they do for a broken rib. You just gotta ride it out. He mentioned that if he didn’t call, it was simply muscle damage and there’s nothing to be done for that either but to take some anti-inflammatory pills and let it heal. Great. Yesterday morning, I finally got frustrated with waiting after a seriously ridiculous night without sleep and checked my online e-health file. The imaging results were noted as no visible fracture. Good news. Except that I’m still in pain.

On Tuesday morning, I had an incident where my nose started to bleed like a faucet again. I thought nothing of it, got cleaned up and went to work. Then sometime after lunch, my nose bled heavily again and stained the dress shirt I was wearing. Bloody fucking hell… pun fully intended. I decided to look up potential causes for nose bleeds and found consistent messaging that anti-inflammatory meds will often cause nose bleeds, and I just HAPPEN to be on one that’s prescription grade. I discontinued the anti-inflammatory immediately. I don’t even know if it was helping but I knew I didn’t want to be dripping blood all over the place.

On Tuesday night, I went to bed around 10 pm, hoping that the muscle relaxant would at least allow me to get some sleep. By about 1:30 the following morning, I threw in the towel and made my way out to the living room. There was literally no position that was comfortable and that didn’t cause sharp pain throughout my body. I sat in my leather lounger with my feet up on a foot stool. The difference this made is my weight wasn’t bearing down on my rib cage. I fell asleep and managed to wake up several hours later. I wouldn’t say I was refreshed but at least i got some rest. The lounger also isolates my movements so there isn’t a whole bunch of moving around.

The moral of the story today folks, is that even a minor injury can cause some issues. If there’s no break or fracture of the ribs, I have to assume that I suffered some muscle damage when I got punched, which honestly, makes all my painful theatrics seem a little excessive. but at least the recovery time should be significantly lower, with ribs requiring at least six weeks to heal and muscles may only take a few. Since it’s only been about a week and a half, I shouldn’t be surprised that it still hurts. But with some temperature treatment, continued rest and taking care of the area, I should be back to normal in short order. The real challenge will come from reconditioning myself and getting back into the dojo. But that’s a battle for another day. ☯️

The Ten Commandments: A Review (Spoilers)

I grew up in a mainly French Catholic environment, with my mother being and grandmother being significant influences throughout my childhood. Although I ended up taking a significantly different path as I reached my teens, Catholicism was a constant presence in my life, especially since I went through elementary school well before the whole “separation of church and state” thing kicked in. Although modern society rejects the idea of the introduction of the Bible in the classroom, It had a profound influence on my life and I still have a copy of the Bible that I acquired decades ago.

I’ve read the Bible more times than I can recall and during seventh grade, my class and I watched The Ten Commandments. Released in 1956, the film features the story of Moses, an Egyptian prince who discovers he’s the descendant of Hebrew slaves and abdicates his throne to lobby on behalf of the slaves and sees them through freedom from bondage and the mass exodus out of Egypt. Moses comes to commune with God, who provides Moses with His ten “laws” that man should follow, hence the title of the movie. We watched it over several classes, since the movie has a runtime of 3 hours and 40 minutes. A significantly long movie for the time.

Although dated and very obviously an older movie, some of the principles still stand today and the movie is based on the Bible’s book of Exodus. I was reminded of the movie as I spoke to my mother recently and she indicated she had watched it over the Easter weekend. It always airs over this weekend and since my childhood, I’ve always made a point of watching it sometime during said weekend. I didn’t get the chance to, this year. Last year, I had the benefit of being at home because of the pandemic (the only benefit is that I was home, the pandemic in general sucked). But this year, between work and familial obligations, who the hell has 3 hours and 40 minutes to sit for a single movie?

I have the movie saved on my phone, of all places. I could potentially watch it any time and maybe I’ll make my way through it in the days to come. I could even watch a bit at a time during my lunch hours. In 2014, they came out with a remake entitled “Exodus: Gods and Kings,” which starred Christian Bale and ran for about two and a half hours. I watched it some years ago but it didn’t quite compare to the original and despite the better effects and film quality, they cut out a lot that was in the original movie. Plus, I just can’t picture Batman as an Egyptian prince who becomes a Hebrew slave. But I digress…

A part of me misses the yearly tradition of sitting through this movie. It still totally stands up and if you’re looking for something good to watch, this could be it. I have it on my iPhone because I purchased it through iTunes but I do know it’s available on a number of different platforms. “So it was written, so it shall be done.” ☯️

The World May Burn While It Continues To Turn…

Life is tough. I don’t think I’m providing any enlightened insight, there. It’s even tougher when you’re alone. And that solitude is all the more difficult when it comes as no fault of one’s own. Throughout my youth, I spent many an hour by myself. Always a bit of an outcast, I didn’t have many friends during my childhood and the ones I did have were quick to leave me behind when they found someone better. By “better,” I mean better from THEIR perspective; not realistically better.

In fact, I remember a kid I used to spend time with that I considered to be my best friend, whatever that means at such a young age. He quickly started spending time with another kid who had more money, better gadgets and toys and access to a car when we reached our teens. It didn’t matter that the other guy was an absolute asshat who used people until he grew tired of them and then tossed them aside. I was left in the weeds despite all of that. Things don’t get much better into adulthood, with self-proclaimed “friends” often leaving you behind in favour of what they consider to be greener pastures.

You only get out of life what you choose to put into it. If life serves you lemons and all you do is stare at them, you’ll never get to taste the lemonade. It’s only through the effort of cutting, squeezing and zesting those lemons, then adding sugar and water to the mix that it will become the tasty accomplishment that we know as lemonade. Maybe that’s a bit of a cheesy comparison but it’s accurate. People will often use you and toss you aside when they’re done with you. In some cases, this doesn’t mean that they’re inherently bad people; it simply means they were never taught any better.

When life gets you down and you feel like you’re all alone, use that time to your advantage. Spend some time getting to know yourself and discovering who you are and what you want out of life. Read that book you’ve left sitting on your shelf for the past few years. Spend some time outside watching the world. Sit in on a movie at a theatre that you’ve wanted to see. Take a trip. Some time alone can be important in order to help one reflect and truly allow themselves to become who they are.

Take it from someone who spent most of his youth by himself; being a loner doesn’t mean that you ARE a loner. It simply means that you’re unique and outside the confines of the expected social norm. And there’s nothing wrong with that. If the people within your scope of existence don’t like who you are and don’t want to stick around, so be it. That means that they weren’t meant to be part of your inner circle. Eventually, people will come into your life that are worth keeping around. And at that point, you’ll discover that they not only appreciate you for who you are and HOW you are; they’ll also become an integral part of that journey and may help you discover a few things along the way. Food for thought… ☯️

There’s No Time…

I’ve trained in a variety of different dojos, with slightly different styles from my own. It’s been great from an experience perspective. I’ve had the opportunity to recognize that not everything is structured in only one way, which is a perspective I clearly lacked during my time back home. One particular detail is that not all classes have the same length. Sensei used to believe in a two-hour class and would never sway from that. I’ve taken classes that have been as short as an hour. In fact, my current dojo has one-hour class times.

Ultimately, it’s not the amount of time that the class lasts that really matters but what you do WITH that time. A twenty minute session can be invaluable, so long as you actually train and learn something while you’re there. If you’re spending half the class taking water breaks and stalling your instructor with questions you already know the answer to, so that you can recover, you’re wasting your time. And time is exactly the purpose behind today’s post.

They say that time flies when you’re having fun. I’ve heard that on a few occasions. Karate is fun. At least, I think it is. And anyone who practices it should be fully committed in this manner, as well. While I was coming up through my formative years, Sensei has a small wall clock mounted in the dojo. Now, our dojo was a small storage room off a large basketball gymnasium. I say small but it was about thirty by fifty feet. A decent space for a larger class. But the clock didn’t belong to us, it belonged to the building. The problem came when students started glancing at the clock repeatedly.

There’s nothing worse, and this is one of my biggest pet peeves, than training and trying to explain something when the student’s mind is a million miles away and staring at the clock. It eventually got to the point that Sensei just took the clock down and stuffed it aside. After all, Sensei would open the class and indicate when it ends. There’s no need for students to be watching the clock. Unless they’re bored or don’t want to be there.

Unfortunately, I’ve fallen victim to this phenomenon, as well. For a few years while I was training in a particular dojo, I would compulsively stare at the clock. The class was an hour and half long; definitely not the longest I’ve ever been through. But as the months elapsed, I began to notice that whenever there was a “lull” in the class I would glance at the class to see how long there was left to the class. It took me a while to recognize that it was because I was unfortunately bored.

At that point, I had a difficult decision to make. I could allow my stubbornness to keep me rooted where I was or I could realize that this style and class format wasn’t for me and move on. I have a history of sticking it out, long after In should move on. Ultimately, I moved on. Sometimes, sacrifice is necessary in order to gain clarity. But even in the current dojo I train with, some students watch the clock as though they’;re hoping to see the needle move quickly around the face, which leads me to feel some of them really don’t want to be there.

When you study the martial arts, you have to be in the moment. You have to focus and concentrate on what you’re doing and not worry about the time. Your instructor will let you know when class is done. there’s no need to watch the clock. If you find that time is ALWAYS dragging on for you and you just can’t help it, maybe where you are isn’t for you. Food for thought… ☯️