Category: Opinion

A Better Resolve…

I guess first and foremost, I should start by wishing everyone happy holidays and a Happy New Year, considering I haven’t posted since before the holidays. For the most part, we had some pretty quiet holidays, with a nice stay-at-home Christmas Day and some brief travel to see family during the last weekend before New Year’s Day. All in all, it was pretty nice, despite my constant coughing and hacking, but that’s a post for a different day. Today’s post is about the strangest and most curious of traditions; the New Year’s resolution…

Now, I need to be very clear that I’m a big fan of setting goals and making resolutions. I think it’s a fantastic thing to do and helps one work towards specific outcomes in terms of their overall health and fitness (or whatever else you may be looking to alter or improve in your life). Hell, I’ve even been guilty of jumping on the resolution train a time or two myself, in the past few decades. But I will be the first to admit that the farthest I’ve gotten with a New Year’s resolution is about three or four months before I faltered and threw in the towel. The question becomes, why do people make such resolutions at what is without a doubt the very worst time of the year to do so?

What do I mean but that? Well, simply put, the beginning of January is the very worst time to make any sort of commitment towards improving your fitness or health or commit to dieting or changes in lifestyle. The reasons for this are quite simple. It’s the winter time and it’s cold. This limits a person’s motivation at the best of times but it’s even more limiting, considering you can’t spend extended periods of time outdoors to help you along, there isn’t as much sunlight and the days are shorter and last but certainly not least, you just spent the past couple of weeks seeing family, opening gifts and celebrating the New Year.

The period immediately following all of that includes a likely return to work, payment of bills and preparation for tax time (in Canada, at least). Then, you tack on a commitment to eat better or limit your diet or exercise for X number of times a week or whatever you’ve chosen, and it’s a sure recipe for failure. With that lessened feeling of motivation, it’s no wonder that people often falter in their resolutions within weeks of starting it.

The idea should be that one should resolve to increase their fitness and nutrition throughout the entire year. Instead of commuting to something on January 1st, when it feels more like a hindrance and you’re likely to give up, make a point of finding your resolution throughout the year. Another tool that’s extremely useful is having a resolution buddy. If you have someone working right long with you, it helps keep you on the path and keeps you accountable. By going this route, you’re less likely to fail so early into your goals. Last but not least, we’re all human. You may falter sometimes. You may take a cheat day or an added rest day here and there (proper fitness requires the occasional rest day, anyway). That doesn’t mean you’ve failed in your resolution; it just means you need to refocus your efforts and keep on going. Food for thought… 😜

I Dream Of Ozempic…

Holy shit, I haven’t posted in nearly a month!!! I think I’m taking this casual, stepping back from my blog thing a little too far. Anyway, here I am. It’s been a rough couple of months for me. In late October, I had to travel back to the Maritimes to do something every child fears; I had to place my mother in a nursing home. Between the stress, travel and eating like absolute shit during my travels, my blood sugars were completely Hayward and out of whack, which anyone who knows me is aware that it sin’s something I take lightly.

In the last week of November, I had by bi-yearly endocrinologist appointment. Normally, I get praised for my tight blood sugar control and solid blood work and I’ve gotten used to being told how boring a patient I am, for a Type-1 Diabetic. This appointment was a bit different. First of all, I had the highest Hemoglobin A1c reading in almost eight years, sitting at 7.9. The second issue is that by virtue of this poor control, my kidneys are struggling. I like to think that I’m not afraid of much in this life but organ failure definitely ranks high on the limited list.

Luckily, my doctor explained that the kidney function was very easily reversible, considering what I’ve been dealing with in previous weeks and having been sick and unable to work out as usual. Once my blood sugars were back to a smooth line and I got some physical activity going, things should go back to normal. That being said, it was a bit of a wake up call that as I continue to age, some of these complications will become more prevailant. And they may not always BE reversible.

Last but not least is the fact that I had been working pretty hard in the months prior to my trip to lose some weight. As you all know, insulin is a growth hormone and no matter how buff I get, slimming down that waistline is probably one of the biggest fitness challenges I face. But I had managed to start off at 95.2 kilograms (roughly 210 pounds) and got myself down to 92.8 kilograms (roughly 205 pounds). This involved working out twice a day and cutting out alcohol over a two-month period.

I was pretty proud of myself until my endocrinologist appointment where I was weighed and found to be sitting back up at 94.2 kilograms (208 pounds). I was angry and disappointed with myself, and that was BEFORE I found out that my kidneys were struggling. I almost left the doctor’s office in a despondent state, until my endocrinologist suggested something I hadn’t even considered trying; Ozempic. Cue the soft music and cheesy infomercial…

Those of you who know me are well aware that I don’t do the whole “band wagon” thing and I’m not a fan of trends, especially as they relate to diet and weight loss. In my world, weight loss has always involved good ol’ fashioned sweat and less calories. But this particular drug has made the news a great deal in recent months, given that it apparently has a side effect of helping one to lose weight. Realistically, it’s intended as a Diabetic medication to help control blood sugar levels. The weight loss is just an after effect, But good ol’ Hollywood is using it for the former, restricting availability for the latter. Typical.

Anyway, my endocrinologist suggested that I start taking it as a means of shedding a few pounds and helping not bring my blood sugars back under smooth control. He provided enough samples to get me through a few months, with a prescription to fill if I chose to continue taking it. I was a bit reluctant since, in the history of my life, I have never had a prescription change or addition that hasn’t totally fucked up my balance. But he explained that shedding even 5 to 10 pounds would help regulate my blood sugars and help ease the burden on my kidneys. So, here we are…

It’s been roughly a month since i started taking Ozempic injections, which are required o a weekly basis. I had my doubts as to its effectiveness but I have to admit, it’s doin’ something. The injection works within the mind, leading your body to believe you’re full, even when you’re not. The result is the consumption of less calories, leading to better blood sugar control and ultimately, loss of weight. As of this morning, I’ve found that I appear to have dropped in weight to 91.1 kilograms (200 pounds).

This means that in about a month, I’ve lost nearly 10 pounds. I’ve also started getting back on the bike, which no doubt helps. I’ve increased the amount of vegetables in my diet and my portions are significantly smaller due to the injections and my lack of hunger. Time will tell if my energy levels are a result of the lessened calorie consumption or the fact I’ve been sick for nearly a month. But it’s certainly a step in the right direction. Do I expect to get washboard abs? Certainly not but it will definitely be nice to shed some weight and feel a bit better.

As with all things in life, there is some negative to offset the positive. Like any prescription medication, there is a risk of side effects. With Ozempic, most of those side effects are digestion-related. Nausea, vomiting, stomach pains and constipation are the most common ones I’ve found posted on most medical websites. I can’t say I’ve experienced anything significantly out of the ordinary but it’s also only been four weeks.

Do I think this medication will help? It appears to be doing so already. Do I think people need to be smarter and not take this shit if they AREN’T Diabetic and didn’t get out prescribed? Absolutely. Of course, we’re living in a generation where folks eat Tide pods and snort condoms, so I don’t think I can expect too much. In any event, I’ll keep y’all posted. ☯️

It Can Happen To You…

Yes. Yes, it can. Most people go through their lives with a set of blinders on; unaware and unbothered about the potential pitfalls that await them and the consequences of their actions. In many ways, this makes sense. After all, if one spent the majority of one’s life contemplating their own death, they’d cause a level of psychological damage to themselves that would be difficult to ignore. People go through their daily routine with nary a thought about their own unavoidable demise, regardless of the fact that we all know that it’s coming.

Today’s focus is not quite as macabre as discussing death but rather, the strange dichotomy that society seems to have when it comes to assuming that. A particular thing won’t happen to them. Let’s take smoking, as an example. From a societal standpoint, half a century ago smoking was almost considered an expectation. When the health complications associated with smoking became common knowledge, you still had tons of people who would light up, several times a day. Despite the stories of pulmonary disease and cancer, people usually take a long drag while muttering, “it won’t happen to me…”

One would think that seeing a photo of a blackened lung on the cigarette packet would be enough o dissuade someone with a modicum of common sense from sucking back on a tar-filled stick of cancer causing chemicals but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Instead, some prefer to bury their heads in the sand and assume that such medical horror couldn’t possibly happen to them. But it can. Oh, but it can. Granted, when using an example that includes something addictive, such as nicotine, it can be a bit diffuse to provide a clear perspective. So, let’s look at some different examples…

This dichotomy I speak of, kicks in with just about everything. On the one side, you have the absolute committed folks who say you have to exercise constantly, never eat anything bad, don’t smoke, don’t drink, sleep eight hours and eliminate all stress from your life. On the other side, you have the ones who say you shouldn’t necessarily deny yourself the things you want, at least not completely. If you want that slice of cake, that beer, that cigar or take a day off from exercising, you should deny yourself that.

So, who’s right? Obviously, I’m a big supporter of exercising and eating right, to an extent. I’m certainly no supporter of those who flop down on the couch and do nothing with their time, eating junk and making no progress in their lives. And believe me, I know some folks who are like that. The big problem is that being at either extreme is not a good thing. Take Jim Fixx, for example. He was an American runner who ended up dying of a heart attack while, you guessed it, running! Although I don’t know the back story behind the actual cause of his death, the irony is palpable. I think Denis Leary joked about it in one of his comedy albums. But i digress.

The key to life is to find the balance that works for you. Exercise and proper diet is important, whether you have Type-1 Diabetes or not. Although you don’t need to slam hours of fitness and eat nothing but quinoa all day, you shouldn’t become a lazy couch potato eating nothing but beef jerky and wings, either. Find yourself a routine that works for you and indulge in it. Enjoy it. Work WITH it instead of thinking of it as a chore. And although you should try to balance out your diet so that you aren’t intentionally clogging your arteries, allow yourself the occasion to have that treat you’re thinking about or grab that beer with a buddy. Balance. That’s what it all comes down to.

Bear in mind that humans are fragile creatures. If you eat a pound of bacon every morning and expect NOT to have a heart attack, think again. It can happen to you. If your think that sitting sedentary all day, every day, won’t cause your body to atrophy, think again. If you think your chain smoking won’t result in lung problems and/or cancer, think again. It can happen to you. It can all happen to you. The idea is to find your balance so that you can live healthy AND live happy. And with that happiness may come the lesser stress you all seem so crazed about. Food for thought… ☯️

Life Lessons For Your Morning…

I found a short list of “life lessons” online while recently wandering my social media platforms. I don’t recognize the individual who posted this list and it was a “recommended” post (we all know a platform or two that does this), so maybe someone reading this will recognize it. If you know the source of this list, please feel free to share it in the comments. That being said, I can relate to some of these and felt I should share it. The bolder lines are the list. The narrative is mine and some of these are a bit on the funny side. Here we go…

1. Don’t lend money to your family; give it.
This is an important lesson for most, myself especially. I’ve had many times in my life that my parents gave me money, even when I didn’t need it. It can obviously cause things to go awry, especially if one has a family member seeking to take advantage.

2. Never shake a hand while sitting down.
Okay, I get where they’re coming from with this one. Although mostly an etiquette thing, there’s nothing more awkward than walking up to someone to shake their hand and they keep their butt in the seat. Plus, if it’s your first meeting with someone, you only get that one chance to make a first impression.

3. Stop telling people more than they need to know.
They key point here is that it isn’t being suggested that you lie or omit details. But depending on who you’re speaking to, less is sometimes more. Providing a bunch of fluff and details that don’t add to your message is pointless, and may also change the receiver’s interpretation of what you’re trying to impart.

4. Never eat the last piece of something you didn’t buy.
I realize that I’ve been guilty of this quite a few times in my life. Especially if a meal is provided for me and I’m having something delicious that I’ve never tried before, I have a tendency of going for seconds. But if a buddy invites you over for a beer, don’t be that person who grabs the last one. It’s just rude.

5. Don’t throw your friend under the bus to impress someone.
I’ve been the victim of this on more occasions than I can count. If there’s one thing I’ve come to learn in the course of my life, is that friends, true friends, are a genuine rarity and should never be sacrificed for the sake of impressing someone else. This is also a good and fast way to end that friendship, if you’re doing it to someone like me.

6. Never insult the cooking when you are the guest.
If you’ve been invited and are being given free food, shut your mouth, eat it, smile and say thank you. Maybe you don’t like eating quinoa but if that’s what’s being served, grin and bear it. Anything short of a medical reason, be thankful you have someone who not only invites your into their home but shares their food with you.

7. Don’t use the urinal next to an occupied one.
While on the comedic side, I’m going to add to this one while also pointing out that you shouldn’t try to make small talk while using a urinal. The last thing any guy wants/needs, is to be chit-chatting with someone while their hands are on their junk. Obviously, if there are only two urinals available, you may not have a choice. But if there are, don’t be that guy.

8. Don’t take out your phone during a conversation.
This is a pretty big one because society now exists in a world where we essentially function on a daily basis through our devices. While convenient, this can be detrimental during an actual face-to-face conversation. If you’re speaking with a live person, keeps your damn phone in your pocket! You can check your Twitter (Oh, sorry! I mean ‘X’) later. Unless it pertains to the conversation, such as looking something up… And even then, I usually make a point of stating that I’m looking something up for them,

9. Never take credit for work you didn’t do.
Setting aside for a moment the fact that this can get you into serious trouble if it’s ever discovered or you’re required to lean on the skills used for that work, you should never try and advance yourself at the cost of someone else’s blood, sweat and tears. Even if you hit someone that consents to your taking credit, this is definitely a faux pas.

10. Listen, nod, and most of all make eye contact.
People want to feel like they’re being heard. There’s nothing more distracting and annoying than talking to someone who’s eyes wander while you speak and it just feels as though they aren’t listening. Be present in the moment. Pay attention. And if making eye contact is difficult for you, it’s definitely something personal that should be developed. A huge percentage of a conversation is contained in the eye contact.

11. Don’t make fun of your friend in front of his kids.
Whatever. My kids make fun of me so why wouldn’t my friends? I would suggest that it’s more accurate to say not to “belittle” your friend in front of their kids.

12. Never let emotions overpower you.
We all have ‘em. But as soon as you let them take control or dictate your actions, it can start a downward spiral you may not be able to pull out of. Self-control is a major element in the martial arts and in Zen. The important thing is to acknowledge one’s emotions, feel them and experience them. Just don’t them control you.

13. Never beg for a relationship.
This is a big one and quite important. There’s a difference between fighting to keep someone in your life and begging them to do so. The former is noble. The latter is pathetic. If you have to beg any person for a relationship, regardless of the nature of that relationship, they don’t have a place in your life. In fact, they don’t deserve one.

14. Dress well no matter what the occasion.
This is a self-respect piece but it plays a big role in how you’ll develop your confidence, trust in yourself and to help maintain good mental health. No matter what’s happening, take the time to get up and get dressed. It’s part of the routine that will bring success to your day.

15. Never kick a man when he is already down.
Not much to say on this one. No one deserves to be battered. If someone’s already down, you should help raise them up. But if you’re the one being kicked, be sure to block that shit!

There you have it. This became a way longer post than I expected to write but hopefully some of you will actually read through it and get value from some of what’s here. ☯️

My Wise Words Usually Come From Someone Else…

It’s been a while since I posted something I’ve found online just for the sake of sharing it, so I thought I would do so today. I say this as I slam a paragraph in my opening instead of simply posting the photo! I’ll reign myself in just long enough o share today’s quote. Here is is…

Miyamoto Musashi has been a significant role model for me through my martial arts journey. He was a Japanese swordsman who developed his own style of Two-bladed swordsmanship. He was also an artist and philosopher, which gave him a unique perspective on the ins and outs of martial arts and how one should approach life. He wrote a book in the late 1600’s famously titled The Book of Five Rings, which was intended as a means for Musashi to leave behind the teachings he provided to his students.

Whenever I share a quote that’s said to be attributed to someone, I’m always cautious to point out that the quote is only as good (and accurate) as its content. There are a lot of memes and supposed quotes out there that are credited to persons who may actually have never said it. In that spirit and if you haven’t done so, I would highly recommend getting a copy of Musashi’s book and read for yourself. Although this one quote hits deeply, his book reflects on so much more and gets the mind working. Stay healthy. ☯️

The Greener Grass…

Ah, life… It tends to go by in a flicker. Many people exist throughout the course of their lives without ever really living it. And that’s a shame, when you consider that regardless of what school of thought you adhere to, or what faith background you may have, no one truly knows what comes next. What if this is it? Is it really worth getting hot under the collar at the guy who cut you off in traffic? Probably not. We tend to live life as though we have all the time in the world.

One big aspect of life is that we almost always want something we don’t have. In some ways, this is to be expected. The gathering and accumulation of material things serves a number of purposes for humanity. On the one hand, it can be a social status thing, with the ownership of certain things showing wealth, success and/or prosperity. On the other, it can be a happiness thing. Maybe you don’t need a $100,000 camper trailer for the couple of months in the summer that you can use it but your sure as fuck love camping in it when you do.

If you have the method and the means, all of that is well and good. But if you’re the person on the other side of the fence LOOKING at the camper trailer that someone else owns, you’d be lying to yourself if you believed the thought hadn’t crossed your mind that it’d be loads of fun. I use a camper trailer as an example because it’s the first one that came to mind but you can apply that concept to just about anything, including material belongings, wealth and even the people in your life.

Age is a big one, too. If you think back to your youth and if you’re being truly honest with yourself, you’d be likely to find at least one occasion where the thing you wanted most was to be grown up; grown up to buy booze, grown up to do what you want and come and go as you please… Never truly recognizing the benefits and advantages of your youth, while you had it. As an adult, how many times have you wished you could go back to your youth, either for health reasons or because it was a simpler time when you didn’t have to pay bills, work a job and have responsibilities? If you need a perfect example of wanting what you don’t have, you need only to look within oneself.

At the end of all things being equal, life is meant to be lived in the moment. There are things we NEED to do in order to live and function in modern society. Having a job and bringing in an income is counted among the most prominent. But while you’re busy doing that, take the time to enjoy the stage of life you’re in and the benefits you do have. As much as I’d love the energy and health of my youth, I sure don’t miss having to go to school and having most aspects of my life under someone else’s control. And that’s the point; life is a compromise. Work to make money so that you can use that money to grab that occasional pint of beer when you want it. Don’t stress and don’t focus on the things you don’t have right in front of you. You’ll be better off for it and you’ll live better. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Food for thought… ☯️

Becoming The Patriarch, Part 9 (The Finale)

So, I’m going to end this travel series on the most positive note I possibly can. IN Sensei’ words and as I often write, for every negative, there is a positive; and vice versa. It’s been a rough week for me; dropping everything at the drop of a hat and travelling across the country to the East Coast to help my mother during a transition that I thought would never happen. Honestly, I always assumed she’d pass away before her mind went. But I walked away on Friday night confident in the fact that she’s safe, warm, sheltered and fed and has a great support system in place. In fact, I would have to go on record as saying I have the best fuckin’ family in the world. Part of me is thoroughly convinced that had they not intervened prior to my arrival, I would have been travelling out there to bury my mother instead of visiting her. But I digress… And I did say I would end this on a positive note.

The dark, foreboding roads of New Brunswick

As I wrote yesterday, Saturday morning saw me get up a few inches higher than the butt-crack of dawn and drive south on a dark, moose-infested highway from Northern New Brunswick and the City of Moncton. All in all, my travel day, if I include the driving (which I do), amounted to about 22 hours of total travel. Delayed departures threatened my ability to get home and flight changes at two different airports before touching down in Regina gave me a unique insight into the ignorance and undeserved self-entitlement that the general public seem to have when being in an airport terminal. But before I go off on some sort of negative tangent, I should probably get to the more positive aspects of my visit; of which there were many.

Taking care of a family comes with its fair share of responsibilities, which I’m sure I don’t need to tell any of you. When we usually travel out East, the opportunity to kick back and go out is pretty rare. This is mainly because my mother doesn’t have the constitution or control to deal with Nathan and Alexander, which means we limit our outings and interactions while in New Brunswick to a) what can be done during daylight hours and b) all together. The result is that I usually never get to see many of the friends and associates I still have in northern New Brunswick because most of them work day jobs and after supper, we’re winding the boys down and trying to get them to bed. From my side of things, it would be irresponsible and selfish of me to leave my wife with the boys in a random hotel room in a community she’s unfamiliar with, and take the only vehicle and say, “Have a god night, hun! I’m off to shoot pool and drink beer. See you later!” Dick move, imaginary me. Dick move.

Flight 1 of 3. Let’s go, already!

This is one of the only occasions in nearly a decade where I was able to touch base and reconnect with some folks I haven’t hung out with in years. And I even got to go see Sensei’s son’s new house, which he had been begging me to go see for years. I reconnected and shared meals with some family members and was introduced to the wonder that is pork loin (Thanks, Daniel!) and will likely be trying to make it myself. I got to enjoy brunch with an old high school friend and fellow karate practitioner. I got to shoot pool and enjoy a couple of pints of the elusive Alpine beer, of which there is none in Saskatchewan. And last but certainly not least, I got to spend several hours sitting in Sensei’s warm living room reliving old memories as he provided sage advice and wisdom, even without asking for it. This is Sensei’s way.

Contemplating life at 32,000 feet

in some ways, many ways, my mother has managed to teach me some valuable lessons through this entire process, as well. A part of me wants to share the image my aunt took of my mother’s emaciated form when she found her. She was on the brink of death and looked horrible. However, I don’t feel it would be respectful of me to expose my mother in such a private moment and it could be triggering or traumatic for some to see her that way. But the bottom line is my mother reached a point where she realized she no longer had anyone to take of and spent her days in silence. Alone and depressed, she gave up. It isn’t until family stepped up to start helping and being there, that she started to regain some constitution and start to get better. The way she appeared when I left on Friday was night and day compared to the photo I saw, only two weeks prior.

Guess who was happy to see me?

The bottom line is that we all need people. In whatever way, shape or form that takes holds for each of us, we need that in our lives. For my mother, she spent her entire life taking care of others. She spent two decades on a state of constant hyper-vigilance looking after my brother until he passed. Then, my father’s paralysis took hold and she took care of him until he signed himself into a care home. Finally, both my grandparents reached their end-of-life needs, which my mother provided for both. It isn’t until the past year or two where she’s had absolutely no one to take care of or look after. Years of constant stress and adrenaline have taken their toll, which contributed to her current state but the biggest caveat is that she couldn’t be alone. That’s what started to do her in…

Whether some of us choose to admit it or not, human beings are pack animals and we need others in order to survive. My mother was a clear example of this, as she is once again thriving. As much as a 75-year old woman who’s losing her memories can thrive, of course. But the lesson here and what I picked up during this trying week is that life is short. No matter what school of philosophy you adhere to or what you think happens in the afterlife, the life you’re in is but a flicker. At the snap of your fingers, it’s gone. So it’s important to live life and take the time to appreciate your family, loved ones and the important things in your life. This is an important lesson that I’ve always known but the rigours and stresses of life sometimes make one forget. It’s just unfortunate that my mother had to nearly die in order for me to remember.

The lesson was driven home (pun intended) the most as I disembarked from the final leg of my flight, at the airport in Regina. As I descended the escalator, I saw my wife and my two sons, patiently waiting for me to arrive. As I reached the bottom of the escalator, no act of God or man could have kept my redheaded little daredevil from plowing through large, adult crowds to plow into my arms. As shown from the last photo above, he was up as soon as I was, this morning and has been attached to me, ever since. I guess daddy’s home. Life eventually starts to take away more than it gives. That’s the inevitable secret of life. That’s why we need to enjoy the happy moments when we can, despite having them peppered with the sad ones. It’s the balance of life that means the difference between living, and just existing. Food for thought. And with that thought, I’ve got some life to go live. It’s good to be home. ☯️

Becoming The Patriarch, Part 8

Well, here we are… Yesterday was a bittersweet mixture of sadness and joy as I packed up my bags to return home to Saskatchewan. It was an emotional goodbye as, despite them both being in the proper care that they need, I became consciously aware that this may have been the last time I’ll either or both of my parents. Although visits with them was great, we’ve reached that stage of life where I need to be ready and expect that a certain phone call may come at any time; especially given my mother’s current state.

I awoke well beyond the butt-crack of dawn, at about 4 am, this morning. This was after a very pleasant visit with Sensei last night, where we spent several hours reminiscing and remembering the good times while discussing and assessing the bad times, both behind and ahead. It was a pleasant combination of laughs, philosophy, perspective if life and martial arts. It isn’t until I realized it was past 11 pm that panic struck me and I realized I would only get about five hours’ sleep before needing to drive for three.

The morning chill woke me to full consciousness after I closed up my mother’s apartment for the last time and brought my bags to my rental vehicle. I took to the raid with the last energy drink I pilfered from my mother’s fridge and I got on a very dark, foreboding highway and drive in silence. I stopped once in Miramichi to grab coffee and a grilled cheese for breakfast (I’m weird, I know!) and I got back on the road, stopping only once more to refill the rental vehicle’s gas tank before turning it in.

I was lucky, in that my Aunt Anna was in Moncton for an appointment, so I got to spend an hour with her, chatting and catching up. We were both grateful for how lucky things with my mother turned out and that we were able to get her the help she needed in time. Now, I’m sitting on the upper level of Moncton’s so-called international airport, patiently waiting for the first of three flights I’ll have to take in order to get home. Brutal and expensive but what can you do? I need to get home. All in all, it will be a 14-hour day of travelling, with some exhausting stopovers. But it will be worth it to get home and see my family. ☯️

Becoming The Patriarch, Part 7

I’m trying to keep these relatively short, both by virtue of the fact that when it’s for entertainment purposes and somewhat on the negative side, people aren’t all that invested in reading long posts. Plus, considering how late in the day it is in New Brunswick, I kind of missed the mark on drafting and posting this morning. That’s a bit of. A testament to how much is currently on my mind. But I said I’d keep this short and here I am, bantering on as though I have all the time in the world… let’s get to it!

Yesterday saw me spend some much-needed own time with myself. It was a particularly harsh day as I had the opportunity to spend some FaceTime with my dear aunt, who was here to take care of my mother prior to entering the care home. She shared a photo of my mother that she took that demonstrated the state she was in when my aunt arrived. I must confess that by virtue of having been a police officer, I’ve seen more than my fair share of deceased persons. If my brain didn’t logically know my mother was alive and well in the care home, I’d have sworn I was looking at a photo of a corpse. It was really that bad.

The emotional response and panic attack I felt at seeing my mother in this state was deep, and it was very closely followed by anger at once again realizing that someone, anyone, from over here should have looped me in a long time ago. Had my aunt not shown up and provided food, medications and basic cleaning needs, I have every belief that my mother would not have survived until my arrival. I would have been coming to bury her instead of visiting her.

After spending several hours with my parents yesterday, I tried to tidy up as many matters as I could, given that my departure is scheduled for tomorrow. I followed this up with a light supper… I’m kidding, I totally enjoyed a quarter-pound donair burger and it was fucking splendid! Then, I simply came back to the apartment, did up my final laundry followed by some very. Important FaceTime with my wife before unceremoniously falling into a fitful sleep.

This morning was decent, since they apparently didn’t start any renovation work upstairs. Or maybe they’re finished, who knows? All I do know is that I was able to actually sleep in until about 8:30, this morning. Woohoo, wild guy, right? I packed my last box for Canada Post and sent it off to Saskatchewan, then travelled up to Campbellton for breakfast. My afternoon has been spent putting my clothing away and packing it, as well as labelling some travel tags for the suitcases I know have to bring with me,

I’ll be headed to see my parents shortly, which will perhaps be a bit of a tough conversation. From their perspective, I’ve only just arrived. Tonight, I get to visit with Sensei for a bit. That should be a good time. I haven’t seen him in a few years as I wasn’t able to meet up with him when we travelled down in 2022. A pint and some good conversaction about the old days will be just what the doctor ordered.

Tomorrow morning, I get to rise at about 4 in the morning so that I can pack the car and hit the road to reach Moncton for an 11:30 am flight. I may have the opportunity to cross paths with my Aunt, who will be in Moncton for an appointment she has. Then, I get to begin the long, all-day trek back to Regina where I will finally see my wife and kids after being away for well over a week. This is the longest I’ve been away from them in, well… a really long time, if not ever. It was nice to “come home,” albeit for some pretty piss-poor emotional reasons. It will be even better to finally GO home. ☯️

Becoming The Patriarch, Part 6

Alright, so just a short little update this morning since y’all are probably starting to get a bit tired of the doom and gloom posts and likely aren’t reading all of these, anymore. So, in true form of finding balance in all things, I”ll provide just a short update on the positives I experienced yesterday.

The first started with launch and a couple of hours of catching up with Guillaume, Sensei’s son. He and I basically grew up together as best friends and brothers and are both black belts under his father’s teachings. We’ve always been close but as time has passed, life has progressed and with both of us building a family, finding the time and means to get together can be difficult. Especially since we basically live on opposite ends of the country from one another. You may remember him, he’s the one kicking me in the face in the following photograph…

Any way, we started with a solid lunch at a burger place called Classic Burger in a little town called Bathurst. IT was nice and we shared a few laughs. After several years, I finally got to see his house, which he essentially built from scratch. We reminisced and laughed over old times and caught up on new times. IT was a good way to start off the day.

My evening involved joining a couple of old friends and shooting a few games of pool. I hadn’t been in the pool hall in Campbellton in almost fifteen years. What’s more is, I got to enjoy a couple of bottles of a beer called Alpine, which they don’t sell out west where I live. My friend Ricky and I trained at karate together and have known each other for years. And we both have the same sense of humour, which made things interesting,

It was great to get a few games in and have a pint, kick back and relax a bit, especially after everything I’ve been trying to settle up and deal with for my folks. I was reminded by someone that there’s nothing wrong and I shouldn’t feel guilty about taking some time for myself to recharge my batteries and I should feel guilty about doing so. The evening went well and I even had the chance to FaceTime briefly with my wife, which ended my evening perfectly.

In 48 hours, I”ll be boarding a flight to head home. Although it’s felt as though it’s been dragging, a part of me feels the week has flown by and I could have accomplished far more, had I stayed longer. That being said, today is a new day and I have plenty of hours to try and get things done. Time to get at it. ☯️