Keeping An Appointment = Keeping Your Word

We live in a world that has evolved to limit personal interaction. Almost everything we could ever need can be purchased online, including groceries, clothing and necessities. All of these things can be mailed or delivered, and we never have to deal with someone face to face while doing it. In the meantime, most of us spend the majority of our down time with our noses buried in an electronic device, gaming, checking social media or other online activities.

In fact, I recently ordered my son’s birthday gifts through an online website, based on choices he showed me from a catalogue. I remember thinking that this made my life incredibly easy as I didn’t have to go out to try and find something for him. Such has become the way of the world.

And while there’s nothing wrong with the ease and simplicity that the internet provides, there’s still an expected standard of etiquette that must be followed. Even if you purchase something from a person over the internet, you still need to have the same courtesy, respect and understanding as you would while dealing with someone face-to-face.

I’ll give you an example… My wife and I are members of a few online buy-and-sell websites, which require you to become a member in order to do business. It’s a great tool for selling things around the home that we no longer use. I enjoy it, because I prefer selling an item to someone else who may make use of it rather than toss it out. It allows me to channel my inner KonMari and clear out all the unnecessary clutter from my house. I can almost hear thousands of eyes rolling but I’m sorry to say it guys… There’s definitely something to Marie Kondo’s organizational method. But I digress…

I currently have over a dozen used items posted for sale online. There’s a lot of haggling and negotiating that usually happens. This also relates to the pick-up or delivery of items as well as when the transaction would happen. Because it’s peer-to-peer, this site requires the buyer and seller to work out whether the items will be picked up or delivered, unlike E-Bay and Amazon.

I had a buyer express interest in not one, but three of my items. We discussed a price for the combined items and a time that the buyer would come pick them up. I was tickled pink… Not so much about the few dollars I was making, but the fact I was getting rid of a few items. The expected pick-up was agreed to be on the Friday, which was three days away… A little long in the tooth, as far as these interactions go, but since the buyer planned on taking a number of items, I agreed to reserve the stuff for them and wait until the Friday.

Friday rolls around and my person is a no-show. A major “faux pas” in the peer-to-peer buy-and-sell world. I allowed almost a full hour beyond our scheduled meeting before I reached out, asking if she still intended on showing up. Nothing. I waited until the end of the day and messaged again. Still nothing.

There’s a system in place on most of these sites that allow a person to report someone for “infractions” like no-shows. I know what you’re thinking: maybe there’s a good reason. Maybe there was an emergency or something critical that happened. Maybe so. Here’s the problem: maybe it was nothing. I’ve dealt with a number of people who simply decided, between agreeing and meeting that they were no longer interested and simply didn’t bother to show up. Then they don’t bother responding, since they’re no longer interested.

It’s much easier to ignore someone when you don’t have to deal with them face-to-face. It’s an aspect of our society that is quickly dying out. Courtesy and good communication should have been improved with the advent of the internet, not hindered. But this doesn’t always seem to be the case. Let’s not forget that good communication with each other is the foundation of a strong society. ☯

What Does It Mean To You?

Canada is a wonderful country where many freedoms can be observed that may not be enjoyed in other countries. We are a country of relative peace, in that for the most part our population does not fear walking the streets and most civil liberties are celebrated whereas they are persecuted and interfered with, in other countries.

In recent decades, certain habits have begun to infringe upon traditions that have long been observed. What I’m referring to, is the fact that today is Remembrance Day. In Canada, Remembrance Day is an important day during which we remember the sacrifice of the members of our armed forces who gave their lives in the line of duty.

Remembrance Day has always held an importance place in my family, as just about every member of the family on my mother’s side has served in a branch of the Canadian Armed Forces. My grandfather served in World War II and was deployed to the active front in Europe, before returning to Canada to start his family.

The Red Poppy, worn to observe Remembrance Day in Canada

It’s easy for me to exude pride, based on what I’ve mentioned above. But as proud Canadians, it’s a solemn day that we should all proudly observe, and leave everything else to start taking precedence AFTER! (Steps up on soapbox) This is where those bad habits I mentioned come in…

The unfortunate reality is that for many people, most people in fact, the passing of Halloween seems to be an invitation for people to start decorating for Christmas, and for commercial businesses to start putting up holiday and Christmas displays. This flies in the faces of all those fallen members who have given their lives in order for us to have all the freedoms and civil liberties that we enjoy in Canada.

Some information on Remembrance Day in Canada can be found on the Veterans Affairs Canada website at the following URL: https://www.veterans.gc.ca/eng/remembrance/information-for/educators/quick-facts/remembrance-day

Let’s take the time to observe Remembrance Day. Although war is a horrible thing that no person should have to endure, we can still show enough respect to thank and remember those who fell protecting us and keeping our country free. ☯

Those Who Forget The Past Are Condemned…

Look, shit happens! I apologize for being so blunt, but life is short, and we all make mistakes. Sometimes these mistakes are born of stupidity and bad decisions, sometimes they are a result of life in general and are unavoidable.

It’s okay to make mistakes; this is how we grow and learn. But that’s the key element: to learn from it. Otherwise, we’re condemned to repeat the same mistakes, as the old saying goes.

Paulo Coelho once said, “Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.” I rather prefer to think that any mistake that happened once is going to happen again, unless you have an adequate response to prevent it from happening again.

It’s one thing for a mistake to happen, regardless of the source, but if you don’t do something about it, then shame on you. One needs to protect oneself from having the same mistakes happen again. Especially if an outside source is the cause of whatever issue may have caused you strife. ☯

You Gotta Break In The Sneakers

Last night, I had a special opportunity during karate class that hasn’t happened in years.  I had the chance to train with a new student on his very first night of karate.  You would likely ask, “What’s the big deal?”

There’s something special about training with someone when they’ve walked into a karate class for the first time.  Everyone has a different reason for joining the martial arts.  Some do it for exercise, some are looking to learn the art and some have a seriously deluded idea about what martial arts actually is!

But regardless of the reason, there’s a palpable anxiety that people have when they train in karate for the first time.  The mysterious movements, the unknown techniques and the awkward attempts at trying to follow along.  I got to train with a young man tonight who came in with the hopeful gaze of someone looking to learn the martial arts.

He struggled throughout the stretching and the warm-up portion.  Once we started working in pairs, he got some pointers from a few different students and we eventually got to working together.  As his frustration grew while trying to learn some techniques we were working on, I compared his training to buying a new pair of sneakers:

“At some point, you’ve chosen new sneakers, right? Well, even when you find a pair that fit you just right and look good, you have to break them in.  They’re brand new, and the first number of times you wear them, your feet will adjust and shape them to your specific steps and the needs of your feet.  Karate is very much the same.  You have to break it in.  The first few times you do it, it’ll be a bit awkward and it’ll take some time to adjust. But once you do, it’ll feel comfortable. Just like a decent pair of sneakers…”

The class ended with the young man ready to come back the following week.  It’s just one of those things…  When you start learning something new, you have to be prepared to work at it and get used to it before you decide whether it’s for you or not.  You gotta break in the sneakers… ☯

We’re Only Human

We all get old, eventually.  It’s one of those few uncontrollable aspects of life that none of us can escape.  We can, however help to alleviate what happens as we age.  Most of this involves having good eating and fitness habits and staying away from the nasty things that can potentially bring our existence to an end.

Don’t get me wrong, I have no illusions of being “old” per se, but some age is often felt rather than gained.  I have to admit that in recent years, my blocks have gotten a bit slower, my techniques a little sloppier and my ability to get up and go has got up and gone (Yes, I just referenced an earlier blog post of mine!)

The shirt I just got yesterday

It really doesn’t take a great deal…  A few too many break days, skipping meals or lack of sleep and your health can easily start to fall off the rails as you get older.  This is especially true for Type 1 Diabetics who depend on a proper balance to keep things in check.  And balance really is the key!

Start by getting proper rest.  The average adult requires between 7 to 9 hours of sleep every night.  As long as you’re getting it all at once (unlike me, who occasionally cluster naps) it should go a long way to helping you rejuvenate yourself.  Many of your body’s systems are working at resetting and/or resting while you do. This is one of the reasons why you shouldn’t eat heavily before bed.

And while we’re talking about food, make sure you’re getting your three meals a day and that they’re properly balanced with vegetables and proteins to help with muscle repair and growth.  It’s okay to have some cheat days now and again, as long as you don’t go overboard.

Last but not least, get some damn exercise.  Even when you’re sore, tired and just plain fed up… it gets exponentially worse if you just sit back and do nothing.  You have to keep moving.  Movement is life.  Even if you just start by doing some light stretches first thing in the morning, it’ll help to get the blood flowing, make you more alert and start your day off properly.

All of these points become increasingly important as you collect more birthdays. Muscles become less flexible, joints are less limber and if you don’t keep up with everything, you may find yourself seizing up. ☯

You Chose Poorly…

Free will is a hell of a thing.  By its very definition, we misinterpret free will as something we have complete control over.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  In fact, our free will allows us to make choices, discern right from wrong and choose the path on which we walk.  But that doesn’t mean that these choices are always in our best favor.

Over the years, one of the things I’ve noticed is that people usually don’t acknowledge the destructive nature they have on their own lives.  Often causing their own suffering, they make choices and do things that anyone watching from a distance can easily see as wrong or improper. But we rarely ever realize that on our own.

Free will allows us to act at our own discretion.  However, our discretion is not always in our own best interest or the interest of those around us.  That’s something I’ve learned the hard way, especially in my line of work.

Choice can be difficult, especially when you leave yourself without options

I’ve often written that opinion and advice are simply that, and a person is free to accept or reject that opinion and advice at their leisure.  But as intelligent beings, we must acknowledge that opinion and advice must be at the very least heard if not accepted.  This is because it’s often the only way to genuinely realize that we may be on the wrong path.

Then again, someone else’s opinion or advice may be incorrect as well.  After all, we’re all different and one person’s perspective may not be the same as ours.  The important thing to remember is simply this: if the choice you make causing damage or suffering in another, it’s wrong.  If the choice you make causes damage or suffering within your own life, it’s wrong.  And last but certainly not least, if you make a choice or cause an action that you KNOW to be wrong and you do it anyway, it’s definitely wrong.

It’s often difficult to see beyond our own immediate wants and needs, and sometimes the prospect of screwing someone else over (for lack of a better term) to meet our goals may seem appealing and even ideal.  But I can promise that all things eventually come out in the wash.  And if you’ve done wrong, that wrong will be exposed. So do right.  Be honest.  Be true. You’ll be amazed at the feeling of freedom you get from always being honest and doing right.  And you’ll come to find how much easier and less complicated it is.  Choice is never easy.  Hey, it’s not meant to be.  But knowing what the end results will be should be a no brainer. ☯

“Sight” Is More Than Just What You See…

The room is dark, impossibly dark.  The only light comes from a small 40-Watt black light that almost causes my white karate gi to glow in the gloom…  My eyes can’t adjust and I can’t see a thing.  There are audible creaks in the floorboards, telling me that I am not alone in the room.  I sit still, trying to let my ears, nose and skin “feel” the room.  My legs are braced and my hands are posted. I close my eyes, since I can’t see anything anyway.

Then I feel it: an almost imperceptible movement of air against my skin…  I instinctively block, but I’ve miscalculated.  Something strikes at my calves and I fall to the floor.  I roll out of the way before the strike I know is coming drops down on my chest.  I turn and post in the direction of the attack but nothing reaches my ears but silence. Then, something strikes my head. Suddenly there is too much light as all I can see are stars fluttering in the darkness.  I can feel my body twist around as my head snaps from the punch…

Once again, my other senses try to fill in the gaps of information caused by the darkness; a light movement of the air and a rustling of sanforized cotton coming towards me.  I block and feel the strike of another person’s limb against my arm. Without through, I grip the opposing limb and throw out a focused front kick that impacts against something that feels like concrete.

“Enough.”  The lights come on and I’m temporarily blinded by the sudden change.  I see my Sensei standing there in a dark, black gi, removing a black face mask that covers everything but his eyes.  My head is ringing from the punch he delivered and I’m grateful that the lesson is over, despite the impression it left…

That was a sparring match I had with Sensei almost twenty years ago.  Most of us are limited by the visible light we see around us. We rarely consider that the world exists, whether the light bounces off of it or not.  This means that the world can still be perceived if we’re willing to open our other senses to it.

No, I’m not gifted with some mystical skill and I wouldn’t bet sure money I’d win a fight, fought in total darkness.  But because of the light that surrounds us, we often take our other senses for granted. There is so much of the world that can be opened to us if we acknowledge our other senses; our hearing, sense of touch, sense of smell…

Don’t forget that the world doesn’t exist because of the physical light that allows us to see it.  If you open yourselves up to the other possibilities, you’ll be surprised at what you may have been missing. ☯

Money Won’t Make You Happy, But It May Buy What Will…

Bruce Lee has been quoted as saying, “Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.”  Life certainly presents it fair set of challenges and the cost of modern living doesn’t alleviate those challenges.

I’ve been hearing people quote the first part of my title, all my life.  I’ve heard it from my entire family, in sources of entertainment, from friends…  The worst one is hearing it from some celebrity who is like worth several hundred million dollars who goes on a talk show of some sort and says, “Money won’t make you happy!”  I think that’s an easy statement to make when money is certainly not your issue.  And while I agree it may not make me happy, I’d like to find out for myself haha.

To be honest, if I won the lottery today there would be so many things I would do tomorrow.  I would likely work harder than I’m working now, because I’d be doing SOMETHING with that money.  Retire? Are you kidding me?  I’m the kind of person who’s unable to sit still for very long.

I would invest, purchase property and likely start a business.  I would participate in charity initiatives.  Life would become busy in a significantly different way.  And one NEEDS to stay busy.  As a wise friend said to me today, “I’m not afraid of hard work.  That’s how hopes and dreams are made.”

Am I going to win the lottery tomorrow?  Statistically not, but should the statistical unlikely occur, I would concede that the money wouldn’t make me happy.  But the change I could instill in the world possibly might.  It’s not about what you’ve earned or what you own that defines life, but what you do with the life you have that defines you. ☯

Through The Eyes Of Another…

Kids are great!  No, seriously… they’re totally awesome (as I rock gently while downing yet another shot of whisky).  All jokes aside, children genuinely are a wonder.  They are the only way to indirectly ensure one’s immortality, and they allow a brief glimpse into one’s past.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen my son Nathan, do something and think, “Wow, I used to be JUST like that!”  And with the arrival of my second son, Alexander, I’m sure the comparisons will continue.

That’s me at the top, and my son Nathan on the bottom, both at 1 year of age

With another Halloween come and gone, I’m left remembering aspects of my childhood and how I dealt with them.  I was faced with many dietary and health restrictions due to my Diabetes.  Having been diagnosed at the age of four, I really never had the opportunity to go door-to-door like all the other kids.  My mother had some friends who would provide things like raisins, apples and “sugar-free treats” (it wouldn’t be until decades later that I would discover how many carbs and how sugary all of those other treats actually were).  But the prospect of a genuine “trick or treat” outing was nonexistent.

Enter: Nathan.  It’s difficult for me to draw a line sometimes, because I realize and acknowledge that he isn’t limited by the same health restrictions that I was at his age. He turns into an absolute hell-spawn when he eats sugar, much like any child; but I can’t resist allowing him to indulge in the ways that I couldn’t.  Maybe there’s a bit of indulgence on my part as well, since I get to experience it vicariously through his eyes.  Such is parenthood.

My little Lightning McQueen

Yesterday, my wife and I took Nathan to an artisan ice cream parlour.  Clad in his Lightning McQueen costume, he was treated to a free ice cream of his choice.  He chose triple chocolate brownie.  That’s my boy!  Tonight, he indulged in some jellybeans that were left over from last night’s trick or treaters.  Although we normally suffer through the after-effects of the sugar in his system, it’s hard for me NOT to allow him the pleasure, since I never had that pleasure myself.

Our Halloween jellybeans

Sure, I can take insulin dosages necessary to enjoy things now, as an adult.  But I can’t help but wonder how different my childhood would have been, had I not been limited and held back by Type 1 Diabetes. Luckily, Nathan doesn’t have that issue and can enjoy his snacks in the guilt-free way that any child should: by driving his parents nuts during the sugar rush! ☯

Who Replaced My Shampoo With Numbing Cream?

You would think that cold air would do something to awaken a person.  But the weather seems to be having the opposite effect on me.  With the coming of winter, I have to admit that my head feels all foggy and I’m utterly exhausted.

The result of this fog is that I seem to have a sincere lack of inspiration on what to write today.  Has that ever happened to any of you?  I’d like to say that it’s only the weather getting me down, but that would be an outright lie.

It wouldn’t be the first time I fell asleep at a keyboard!

Fatigue and even exhaustion can often be side effects of stress and depression. You can tell something is wrong if you’ve slept all night but yet still wake up, just as tired as you were the night before, when your head hit the pillow.

In any event, I think I’ll be taking a night to let my creative juices rest. Hopefully, I’m done answering my door for all the trick-or-treat kids in the neighborhood and can retire to my bed sometime in the next short while. ☯