Category: Motivation

Don’t Make Me Repeat Myself

One of the things that my Sensei used to tell me back in the day, when I was still living on his side of the country is that when you reach a certain level of experience in the martial arts, “once a Sensei, always a Sensei.” I never paid that much heed except that when I take the time to look back over the past decade since closing my dojo, I recognize a number of times where I’ve fallen into the instructor’s role without trying.

Even in my current role of training with my local school of Kempo, I often find myself providing a certain level of coaching and instruction to some of the younger and lower-ranked students. It’s almost a pull or an instinct. But like anyone else who passes on information they may have, I’m not always as clear as I should be.

I’ve written a number of times about how it’s important to stop doing the same thing over and over and to change it up, challenge yourself and go outside your comfort zone in order to progress. The problem is, some folks have taken that message as a meaning that performing repetitive actions such as forms and drills have no value and should be avoided. Not only is this false, but there is an important discernment to be made between repeating specific actions in order to build one’s muscle memory or learn something, and always staying at the same level by repeating the exact same actions. Allow me to explain…

Let’s say that you want to learn a new type of kick… Chances are that the person teaching you will start by having you observe him or her do this kick before having you join in and practice it a number of times before letting you practice the kick on your own. Even once you’re on your own, you’ll need to continue repeating the technique until it becomes comfortable, familiar and you can claim at least some level of proficiency with it. This is a called “muscle memory” and not only is it a good thing, it’s a vital part of the martial arts. And the only way to achieve it, is through repetition.

Muscle memory is an integral part of the martial arts because, let’s be honest, an attack generally won’t come with a warning. So setting yourself up, stretching and being ready to respond never happens. Ever. Sure, we stretch and get ready before a class, but that’s a controlled environment intended for your learning. Your body needs to be able to respond to a potential attack on it’s own without you needing time to put thought into what you’re going to do. If you take time to think about it, chances are the attack has already happened. So repetition for muscle memory is good.

Now, let’s once again assume that you intend on doing… let’s say a light dumbbell workout. You line up a pair of 25-pound dumbbells, because they’re the ones you’ve always used. You take a few moments to stretch, followed by 25 jumping jacks to get your heart rate going. Then you fall into 3 sets of 10 reps of bicep curls, butterfly curls, shoulder presses and weighted squats. You do this exact same workout, every Saturday morning at 9 am. You never increase the weights, never change up the exercises and always repeat the exact same workout. Any exercise is better than no exercise of course, and I’m only using this as an example but this is the bad kind of repetition.

Do you see the difference? The problem is that if you repeat this exact same workout EVERY time you do it, there will be no growth, no progression and no advancement in your fitness. Muscle memory holds no value for fitness workouts, so you need to be able to change it up. Maybe the following week sees you increase your weight. Perhaps you’ll lighten the weights and do sets of a cardio-style dumbbell circuit. Maybe you’ll do that same workout but add 30 minutes of jogging or cycling in the mix. Whatever. As long as you’re building on the base you’ve already established.

In case my explanation was a little too long in the tooth (as it often is), the point of today’s post can be summarized as follows… Long-term repetition for the purposes of learning and/or improving a technique and develop muscle memory: GOOD. Remaining stagnant by constantly repeating the exact same workout without ever challenging yourself or allowing growth: BAD.

Martial arts is actually a very slow-moving creature and it takes years to properly learn techniques. I’ve been doing karate for 31 years and I’m still learning, so that should give you an idea. But while you’re busy learning all the good stuff, keep pushing your body to grow and progress, increase your weights (safely) and keep your fitness fresh and fun by trying new workouts! You’re more likely to stick with it, that way.☯

Why “No Nut November” Is Not A Novel Notion…

The past decade or two have unsurprisingly (given the state of the world) yielded some really strange social trends. Anyone with a modicum of common sense usually looks at these so-called “challenges” and wonders if it’s truly time to lie back and give up on the society.

If we look back as far as 2001, they came out with something called “The Cinnamon Challenge”. This ludicrous trend, which began pre-YouTube, involved the swallowing of a tablespoon of dry cinnamon powder, without the help of liquid. The big problem with this challenge isn’t just the difficulty, but the damage it could cause to your lungs through gagging, asthma attacks and choking. Not to mention that cinnamon contains an chemical similar to formaldehyde and is basically composed of ground up tree bark. So THAT’S what your possibly inhaling. It gained further steam for a while in 2006 when it finally hit YouTube and people started posting it.

Fast forward to more than a decade later, and they came out with something called “The Tide Pod Challenge”. Just to clarify, when I say “they”, I mean a generation of people who don’t seem to have anything better to do and don’t seem to understand the value in picking up a good book or getting a workout in. But I digress…

The Tide Pod Challenge simply involved putting one of the laundry detergent pods in your mouth and chewing on it. Yes, you read that right: LAUNDRY DETERGENT PODS!!! Friends would film you doing it, and possibly get some laughs as spit out soap bubbles and such. The problem, besides being stupid enough to put one in your mouth, is that some people would end up swallowing them, intentionally or accidentally. Considering these bad boys are made of laundry detergent, they’re caustic, toxic and can wreak havoc on your lungs and digestive system. And that’s just a start.

Sometime after Tide Pods were no longer the flavour of the week (see what I did there?), they came out with “The Condom Snorting Challenge”, which involved sticking a condom in your nostril while plugging the other one, inhaling it into your nasal cavities and reaching into your mouth to pull it out of your throat. Considering most people have difficulties using condoms the way they were intended, I can’t imagine why they think THIS is a good idea… The problem is that the condom can become trapped, block off breathing passages, be inhaled into the lungs and cause infections, sepsis and a score of other medical complications.

Really, internet? Most sources agree that the big problem behind all these “trends” is that they’re dare-based and today’s society thrives on how many likes, views and clicks one can get. Some people even make an income through their use of social media, so it’s not surprising that some of this happens. Although I can’t help but feel that this is Darwinism hard at work…

Now, on to my colourful title. Given that the month of November is almost done, I’l cover this one off. Many people have chosen to participate in a challenge called “No Nut November.” It’s pretty straight-forward: it’s simply going without ejaculating for the entire month of November. Although this seems like a pretty benign challenge and we can all agree that having some restraint is good, there are some dark aspects to this one as well.

First of all, there has been no scientific or medical evidence that shows that “going without” for a month has any measurable benefits for the body whatsoever. The opposite however, is that it can improve sleep quality, lower risk of prostate cancer and heart disease in men and can also boost the immune system. Fatherly.com has a good article that outlines all of this: https://www.fatherly.com/health-science/no-nut-november-is-bad-for-men/

But No Nut November can cause certain anxiety and stress issues, cause strife and difficulty in relationships and remember that preventing prostate cancer thing? You lose that benefit if you lose your happy ending…

I focused on this last social trend because it provided me with an entertaining title for today’s post, but the truth of the matter is that due to the popularity of online dares and challenges, we’ve likely not seen the last of this sort of thing.

Folks, pick up a book, go for a walk, spend time with friends or family… Any of those things will provide a much more fulfilling life and provide you with more benefit than getting a heavy number of views for possibly harming yourself online for the sake of some likes! I can’t change the world, but I can guarantee there may be a special school of the military sort waiting for either of my sons, should I ever hear they snorted a condom or ate a Tide Pod. ☯

Conformity Does Not Mean Acceptance

“Pressure’s a privilege and only the privileged get to experience pressure…” – Vernon Adams Jr.

I hate hockey. (Cue every brick in Canada being shat at once) Yes, I hate hockey. There, I said it. There’s nothing inherently wrong with the sport, and it certainly is staple of Canadian culture since, well, you know… it was invented here!

I’m slightly biased against it, since all throughout my schooling the hockey players were the de facto “rulers” of the school. They had privilege, they went to all the parties (and were often the ones throwing them), they had friends and got all the girls. I was a bit more on the “intellectual” side of things… Okay, fine! I was a nerd!

My point is, I’ve never been much of a team sports guy. I grew up with more of an interest in singular physical activities such as cycling, mountain climbing and the martial arts. But I’ve never been into mainstream sports.

But being into these sports is not what makes me Canadian. And no matter what you’re into or what your interests are, you can still learn from these things. For example, the quote I started this post with, was spoken by the Montreal Alouette’s Quarterback.

You’d be surprised at what you can learn if you’re willing to mingle and learn, even from things you aren’t interested in. One of the first activities I did with my co-workers when I moved to Saskatchewan, was sit in one of their living rooms and watch the Grey Cup. I couldn’t understand what was going on, but the energy in the room and the camaraderie was certainly positive. ☯

More Than Words

I’m lucky in the sense that I’ve had 37 years to get used to Type 1 Diabetes and all the associated terminology that comes with it. I often forget that friends and even family don’t usually know what half of the words associated to Diabetes may mean.

I can’t tell you how often I’ve said something about my Diabetes and had my mother or one of my friends cock an eyebrow or wonder what the hell I’m talking about. With that in mind, I thought it would be a good idea to provide some of the basic terminology that everyone who associates with someone Diabetic should know.

  1. Basal Rate: This refers to a constant supply of some given medication that is delivered over time. For someone with Diabetes, one’s basal rate refers to the dosage of insulin, which is slowly delivered throughout the day, usually by way of an insulin pump;
  2. Bolus: Unlike one’s basal rate, a bolus refers to a singular dosage of insulin that is delivered within a fixed period of time, either by manual injection or by way of an insulin pump. For example, before eating a meal, one would “bolus” a specific dose of insulin;
  3. Blood Glucose: This one should be pretty straightforward, but I’ve been surprised at how many people honestly don’t understand what is meant by blood glucose. This term simply refers to the sugar carried through the blood stream in order to supply the body with energy. Having either too much, or too little sugar in the blood stream is one of the main issues with Diabetes;
  4. Carbohydrates: Considering all the “nutritional gurus” and fad diets on today’s market, this one comes as a surprise as far as people not understanding what carbs really are. Carbohydrates are the body’s main source of fuel, and includes sugars, starches and fibres. This is why it’s so important for someone with Diabetes to properly calculate their carb intake; because all these components (except fibre) will affect blood sugar;
  5. Fasting: Although not unique to Diabetes, fasting is often required prior to certain blood collection or medical examinations. It basically means that one abstains from ingesting any food or drink for a prescribed period of time;
  6. Hemoglobin A1C: Although more complicated than what I’ll explain, A1C refers to the average of one’s blood sugars over a 3-month period. This is a test frequently used to see if a person’s blood sugars are staying within acceptable range. This test has become less of a favoured method, since one’s A1C can be manipulated through extreme highs and lows. Methods of measuring a person’s “time in range”, such as continuous glucose monitoring have become more of an accurate method;
  7. Hyperglycemia: High blood sugar. That is all;
  8. Hypoglycemia: Low blood sugar. Bam!
  9. Insulin: This is a hormone produced by the pancreas, which regulates the level of glucose in the blood stream. In someone with type 1 Diabetes, this hormone is no longer produced, which causes the need for a synthetically created insulin to be injected;
  10. Interstitial Tissue: This is the tissue that connects your outer flesh with the really bloody stuff underneath. This tissue is important for someone with Diabetes because it is where blood glucose levels are measured using a continuous glucose monitoring system;
  11. Ketoacidosis: This is one of the more common complications of Diabetes. As I understand it, ketoacidosis happens when there isn’t enough insulin in the system to help the sugar enter the cells. Without sugar as fuel, the body begins using fat stores for energy. This causes certain acids to start spilling into the system, which can be spilled out through one’s urine. It’s very dangerous and usually requires medical attention if your blood glucose level won’t come down or your ketones are unusually high;
  12. Subcutaneous Tissue: This refers to the layer of fat and connective tissue beneath the skin and is generally where injected insulin NEEDS to end up once injected.

There you have it; some of the more common terms that Diabetics use. Like most illnesses, the best recourse when someone with Diabetes uses a term that you’re unfamiliar with is simply to ask. That’s often more awkward than we care to admit, but speaking for myself, most people with Diabetes are so used to just talking about it that we often forget to explain it. So don’t be afraid to ask. The worst response you’ll get is that we don’t want to talk about it. ☯

Make Sure Your house Doesn’t Crumble

I think we can unanimously agree that no matter what structure you try to build, it’ll never stand on its own without a solid foundation. One of the most famous examples of this, is the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Constructed in the 12th century, the tower was constructed using a too-thin foundation set upon weak sub-soil. Once builders began adding the second floor, the foundation began to sink, leading to the well-known angle of today.

This is why a proper foundation is so important. And this applies to anything one does in life, not least of which is the martial arts. Every style has its own type of foundation. And for karate, that foundation is form.

In karate, forms are called kata, which literally translates from Japanese as “form”. Katas are a combination of specific movements and techniques that are combined in order to develop them. Although katas are meant to be used as a means of training alone, they can be performed in unison in a class setting as well. Katas mostly refer to Japanese and Okinawan martial arts, such as karate, judo and aikido.

Katas are often poorly received by students because they are so structured and fixed. Students obviously prefer the more exciting and “fun” aspects of karate, such as sparring and using punching bags. But katas are what allow a student to develop the skills required to properly do all the fun stuff like sparring and using punching bags.

When doing katas, one should perform a minimum of three repetitions of each form. Some systems only have the one form or kata, and add sub-parts to the one. Other styles, such as mine, have almost a dozen different forms and katas and are all necessary to master the techniques and fighting methods used in combat. The three repetitions are as follows:

  1. First speed: You’re doing the kata at the slowest possible speed. The point to this one is to perform the kata with as much precision as possible. This slower speed allows the student to focus on their stance and proper technique, lending emphasis to form over power. It also allows the student to balance their breathing in time with the striking aspects of whatever kata they may be performing;
  2. Second speed: This is only slightly faster than the previous one, and the student should begin adding a certain element of power and strength behind all strikes and blocks. Emphasis should still remain on proper breathing, control and stance;
  3. Third speed: This repetition is basically an unhindered version of your kata. You basically let yourself off the rails and do the kata as fast and as strong as possible while maintaining proper form and stance. This speed is as close as one can come to shadow boxing while still maintaining the pre-arrange format of a kata.

Every workout should include form or kata, without exception. After all, if you don’t maintain your foundation, the entire structure of your training may start leaning like a failed bell tower! The best martial arts workouts often begin and end with form. Either way, depending on what style you train in, remember to maintain your foundation and keep it strong. ☯

Space, The Unneeded Frontier…

One of the biggest issues people have when trying to focus on their fitness is worrying that they’re not set up for it. Most people are concerned about paying high prices for gym memberships, and the difficulties often associated with quitting when necessary. Take it from me, some gyms almost require an offer of a first-born in order to get out of a training “contract”, and I use that term lightly.

But fitness doesn’t have to be that complicated. And you definitely don’t need a bunch of fitness equipment in order to be effective. Considering I study Karate, which translates to “empty hand”, I think I can speak to that, just a bit (hint of sarcasm sprinkled on).

All you really need is a clear, open space of about 10 by 10 feet. That’s it. A small corner of your basement, bedroom or living room will do. If you don’t have access to dumbbells or other weight equipment, you can easily workout your entire body using body-weight exercises within your designated corner.

Sit-ups, crunches and leg raises are great for the abdominals. I enjoy planks, myself. Lunges, squats and “climbers” are fantastic for the legs. The rest of the upper body can be done using a variety of all the classic push-ups, chin-ups and tricep dips. If you study the martial arts, that 10×10 space should be all you need for forms, shadow boxing and practicing techniques.

An intense hour of sweaty, at-home karate in a small corner of my basement (and yes, that’s my insulin pump infusion site on my side)

Don’t get me wrong, training in a gym environment can be great fun and provides a number of benefits. You get to meet people, get out of the house and use some equipment that you wouldn’t have access to otherwise. But if you’re looking to keep it inexpensive, it’s a pretty simple to do so.

You can easily go on the internet and search for “body weight exercises” and find hundreds of different exercises that you can do in the comfort of your home. Then, start doing a number of sets and increase your intensity, reps and variety as you go along.

It’s one of those things where saying that you can’t afford a gym membership or don’t have the space at home is no longer a viable excuse. So as my brother-in-law would say, why put off to tomorrow what you can do today? Get up, get started and get fit! ☯

That Towel Won’t Throw Itself…

I’ve written a number of posts that outline the importance of knowing why you’ve joined the martial arts. These reasons can include improving one’s health, learning to defend oneself or simply the curiosity that many have relating to the martial arts.

There really aren’t any BAD reasons to join, unless your goal is to become a bully or beat the crap out of people. Barring that, a subject that anyone rarely covers is when to step away and quit! Seriously, how do you know when your time in a dojo has run its course and it’s time to walk away? Here are some thoughts…

  1. The school doesn’t meet your specific needs. This is a pretty common one, and it happens much more than we think. Each martial arts school is unique and their rituals, protocols and rules may not suit you. Some people try to “tough it out” because they’re paying tuition, but it’s better to lose a month’s worth of payment than stay with a school that doesn’t;t fit your needs;
  2. You spend more time yawning than sweating. Most new things take a certain amount of effort. But karate requires focus and concentration, as well as a certain amount of precision and speed training. Combining all those aspects can be a touch overwhelming and take some time. If you’re getting bored with what you’re being taught, perhaps it isn’t for you;
  3. You’re in conflict with the instructor’s teachings. Oh boy, where to start on this one! Having been a Sensei myself, I can attest that there’s always the occasional student who decides to “test” the instructor… Either they question the knowledge being quoted or they doubt whether a technique genuinely works or not. This leaves the instructor in the awkward position of either trying to prove his or her point or losing face in front of their students. Losing face shouldn’t matter, but it’s very difficult to teach a fighting art to a group of people who question your skills and abilities. If you feel that you might not be buying what your instructor is teaching, don’t create conflict; just get the hell out!
  4. You’re being forced to be there. I’ve had a lot of students who have come to class because their parents are “making” them. That royally sucks, because most of the time the student drags on the overall mojo of the class because he or she genuinely doesn’t want to be there. I’ve had to have some heart-to-heart conversation with some parents over the years where I’ve gently “suggested” that their kid shouldn’t be back! If you’re being forced to be there, do yourself a favour and talk to your Sensei about it;
  5. You’re “surviving” the class rather than training. I’ve saved this one for last, although it certainly isn’t least. It’s one thing to push yourself and work through a session even on days when you don’t feel like it or during times when you may be feeling a little off. But if you’re checking clock every ten minutes, if you’re loathe to leave the house, knowing you’re going to class and the interest simply isn’t there anymore, it may be time to re-evaluate why you’re going.

The martial arts is like everything else: it should suit your needs and fit your lifestyle. There’s no shame in trying it out and walking away if you discover that it isn’t for you.

I’ve had periods in my training where I felt as though I wasn’t learning anything, or I simply wasn’t advancing the way I thought I should. Sometimes a break is needed, but it shouldn’t be permanent. The idea is that remaining part of a martial arts club that doesn’t;t suit you may take away from the club as a whole. A kind of “only as strong as your weakest link” kind of deal. ☯

The Right Path Isn’t Always The One Of Least Resistance

Gene Dunn once said, “Your technique means nothing if you’re not using your talents for the betterment of humanity.”  

I began studying the martial arts what feels like a very long time ago.  Thirty-one years ago this year, to be precise.  Although I started this journey with the intention of improving my health and saving my own life against the complications associated with Diabetes, it would end up becoming who I am as opposed to something I was doing.

Martial arts have provided me with more than I could possibly express in written word.  I have carried and used my skills with dignity and with respect for others. Through my study of the Way, I came into Buddhism, which became the central focal point of my faith.  I believe that as a people, we have an obligation to give as much as we get.  And on the occasions where the only possible response to prevent harm to others or myself was violence, I have been swift but just.

My chosen career has carried me far from home and away from my dojo over the past ten years.  Although I have never stopped practicing, it’s been a lonely road considering the rural areas I’ve lived in generally never have martial arts schools.

When I moved to Regina, I was elated to hear that there were several schools that I could explore and I was excited at the prospect of training among other students of the way once again.  I visited MANY martial arts schools over the course of a few weeks and observed several classes.  None of them seemed to be a fit.  Although I wouldn’t presume to classify any one style better than another, I believe a style should call to the person and fit their requirements.

That’s when I walked into the Regina Institute of Kempo Karate.  After observing only one class, I came to realize that it would be a good fit.  Not only because there were some techniques and aspects similar to my own, but because of the ambiance and the manner in which students were taught.

Without hesitation, I was accepted as a student despite being an outside black belt (something that many instructors would not allow).  When I decided I would be testing for my next degree of black belt, I was allowed to step outside of protocol and practice my forms during class even if they were not of the same style.  

For the many who believe that learning the martial arts is simply about learning how to fight, it’s important to look at the quality and value that comes out of a dojo’s students. The growth, maturity and knowledge that is imparted on a student is truly the trademark of a quality dojo. If you consider training, be sure to do your research and find something that is a good fit for you. In the long run, you’ll get much more out of it. ☯

World Diabetes Day

Today is World Diabetes Day. There are a lot of “holidays” that float around on the internet, most created in the US and North America, such as National Donut Day and things of the like. But this one was created in 1991 by the World Health Organization and holds a different theme every year. It is observed on November 14th to coincide with Dr. Frederick Banting’s birthday. For you non-Diabetics who may not know, Dr. Banting is the man who co-created insulin alongside Charles Best.

This year’s theme is The Family and Diabetes. I still remember when I was diagnosed with Diabetes, all the way back in 1982. I recall my parents being visibly emotional and overwhelmed. I don’t remember much about how I reacted, except that I felt my parents would make everything okay. I was very wrong.

Over the years that followed, everything was most certainly NOT okay. I suffered from insulin resistance, Diabetic comas, ketoacidosis and score of other Diabetes-related complications. Carb-counting was not a generally known aspect of Diabetes control at the time, and I often suffered severe highs from that lack knowledge. My mother would often say things like “If you’re hungry, have a slice of bread with peanut butter” or “If you’re thirsty, have some milk”, as my mother assumed these things had no “sugar” in them and should be fine for me. All the while, I was being pumped full of carbohydrates and my insulin couldn’t keep up.

Once I got older and began taking control of my treatment and nutrition, things became exponentially better. After all, it’s much easier treating yourself than relying on others. Especially since you can feel symptoms and issues you may be suffering through much better than family members could. Obviously, I don’t hold my parents accountable for the difficulties I faced as a child. I was the first Type 1 Diabetic in my family and they did the best they could with the information they had at the time.

But family is important; not only for the treatment aspect but also for the support aspect. There were a lot of times as a child where I was denied certain privileges like spending weekends away at scout camps and having cake at birthday parties and such. It made my childhood difficult on top of all the medical concerns I faced. And let’s not forget the half dozen times that I likely would have died in my sleep, had my older brother not recognized that I was having a Diabetic seizure and woke my parents.

Family continues to play an important role in my life. When my wife and I started dating, I’m sure she wondered what the hell she’d gotten herself into after seeing me experience a severe low for the first time. Drenched in sweat and practically eating myself out of house and home, I can only imagine at what thoughts may have been floating through her mind. But these days, she’ll be the first to take one look at me and ask if I’m having a low. She’ll remind me to bolus based on the meal’s carb count and she keeps an eye on me.

Family is an important cornerstone in helping one properly control Type-1 Diabetes. They can give you focus and keep you on the straight and narrow, especially when things get rough. They are taking the journey with you, despite not having Diabetes themselves. As you observe World Diabetes Day, take time to include your family. They deal with it, same as you do. Every high, every low and every mood swing. ☯

Keeping An Appointment = Keeping Your Word

We live in a world that has evolved to limit personal interaction. Almost everything we could ever need can be purchased online, including groceries, clothing and necessities. All of these things can be mailed or delivered, and we never have to deal with someone face to face while doing it. In the meantime, most of us spend the majority of our down time with our noses buried in an electronic device, gaming, checking social media or other online activities.

In fact, I recently ordered my son’s birthday gifts through an online website, based on choices he showed me from a catalogue. I remember thinking that this made my life incredibly easy as I didn’t have to go out to try and find something for him. Such has become the way of the world.

And while there’s nothing wrong with the ease and simplicity that the internet provides, there’s still an expected standard of etiquette that must be followed. Even if you purchase something from a person over the internet, you still need to have the same courtesy, respect and understanding as you would while dealing with someone face-to-face.

I’ll give you an example… My wife and I are members of a few online buy-and-sell websites, which require you to become a member in order to do business. It’s a great tool for selling things around the home that we no longer use. I enjoy it, because I prefer selling an item to someone else who may make use of it rather than toss it out. It allows me to channel my inner KonMari and clear out all the unnecessary clutter from my house. I can almost hear thousands of eyes rolling but I’m sorry to say it guys… There’s definitely something to Marie Kondo’s organizational method. But I digress…

I currently have over a dozen used items posted for sale online. There’s a lot of haggling and negotiating that usually happens. This also relates to the pick-up or delivery of items as well as when the transaction would happen. Because it’s peer-to-peer, this site requires the buyer and seller to work out whether the items will be picked up or delivered, unlike E-Bay and Amazon.

I had a buyer express interest in not one, but three of my items. We discussed a price for the combined items and a time that the buyer would come pick them up. I was tickled pink… Not so much about the few dollars I was making, but the fact I was getting rid of a few items. The expected pick-up was agreed to be on the Friday, which was three days away… A little long in the tooth, as far as these interactions go, but since the buyer planned on taking a number of items, I agreed to reserve the stuff for them and wait until the Friday.

Friday rolls around and my person is a no-show. A major “faux pas” in the peer-to-peer buy-and-sell world. I allowed almost a full hour beyond our scheduled meeting before I reached out, asking if she still intended on showing up. Nothing. I waited until the end of the day and messaged again. Still nothing.

There’s a system in place on most of these sites that allow a person to report someone for “infractions” like no-shows. I know what you’re thinking: maybe there’s a good reason. Maybe there was an emergency or something critical that happened. Maybe so. Here’s the problem: maybe it was nothing. I’ve dealt with a number of people who simply decided, between agreeing and meeting that they were no longer interested and simply didn’t bother to show up. Then they don’t bother responding, since they’re no longer interested.

It’s much easier to ignore someone when you don’t have to deal with them face-to-face. It’s an aspect of our society that is quickly dying out. Courtesy and good communication should have been improved with the advent of the internet, not hindered. But this doesn’t always seem to be the case. Let’s not forget that good communication with each other is the foundation of a strong society. ☯