Category: Motivation

As Good As Your Word…

I was always raised by my family to not only always be on time, but to always be a bit early to accommodate any unforeseen circumstances that may arise. This applies to all aspects of one’s life, professional or personal. I was also raised that when you say you’re going to do something, you follow through and do it. Today’s post may be a bit more on the ranting side than anything useful, but sometimes you just have to pour it out in order to move on and lighten your soul.

I don’t maintain friendships easily. In fact, there aren’t many to whom I am able to give that title. Maybe I’m just stubborn or perhaps my personal code of ethics and beliefs is so deeply ingrained that I don’t suffer ignorance easily, even when it applies to my friends. I’m totally on board with the concept that we can sometimes go days, weeks and occasionally even months without speaking to each other due to life’s obligations. After all, life doesn’t care about one’s plans. What bothers me, is when someone states they’ll do something and doesn’t follow through. THAT’S when it becomes an issue…

I can provide some pretty specific examples. I have a friend that I used to make efforts to spend some time with. Nothing fancy, just the occasional meeting for coffee or beer. During one meet-up, we decided to grab some dinner at a local restaurant. It was only once the menus were in our hands that it was revealed that the friend was actually short of cash and probably shouldn’t order anything to eat. I’m usually pretty game for letting people find their own way and I agree that if one can’t afford to eat out, one shouldn’t.

That being said, I could hardly sit there and order food when the friend I invited out would sit there with a glass of restaurant tap water. Even if we had gotten together for the conversation and company, it would still throw a wrench into the energy of the evening, so I offered to buy dinner. After the usual back and forth, the friend relented and “agreed” to let me buy dinner. Okay, no big deal, right? If I can’t buy a friend a meal every once in a while, then what’s the point? But there was plenty of other things we could have done that would have cost nothing and been just as pleasant, so I felt a bit off at the fact that dinner was agreed to in the first place.

On the second occasion, we decided to go out for coffee. It was agreed that I would pick up the friend so that we could make our way somewhere to relax and have some good conversation. Once I picked the friend up, I was asked to make a “quick stop” along the way… Seems the friend had lent out a vehicle to someone and it was now dead and required a boost. Basically, I was needed to reach the lent vehicle and use my own vehicle to provide a boost. Nice. After attending to that matter and spending some time out in the cold (it was deep winter, at the time) it was late enough and I had grown tired and we called it a night.

I’m a strong believer of giving people the benefit of the doubt, so I agreed to meet on a third occasion. This time, I provided conditions that worked in my favour. I agreed to meet the friend at a local pub that was only five minutes from my home and the friend would have to find their own way there. It was agreed that we would meet at 6 pm. As is my custom, I arrived at about 5:50 and ordered the first round so it would be ready when the friend arrived. 6 o’clock came and went with no appearance from the friend. Okay. 6:30 hits and I had consumed my beer, so I texted the friend asking when I could expect an appearance.

6:45 struck and I still hadn’t received a response. It’s unconscionable to waste cold beer, so I decided to start on the second round I had provided for the friend. Another could easily be ordered upon their arrival. I texted my wife and asked her opinion on how long I should wait. She replied that it was up to me but that I had already waited far longer than necessary, especially since my messages were going unanswered. Since I was on a second round, I would remain and allow some time, since I still needed to make my way home.

Shortly after 7 pm, the friend finally phoned me and provided some reasoning for being well over an hour late, despite it changing nothing of the current situation. I was asked if I was willing to wait a little bit so they could join me. I declined, since I had already consumed two drinks and still had to make my way home. The friend apologized and indicated that we’d make plans to get together on another night. Needless to say, I stopped trying after that. And this is only one of the examples of why I find it difficult to maintain friendships. There are many others.

For example, I have a long-standing friend from back home, who only ever seems to come visit me when he’s working. Seriously. He’ll only stop in if he can sit and catch up while on his company’s time, which seriously sucks. Just recently, I invited him to my home for a beer, to which he agreed. He was supposed to pop in around 6 o’clock after we had all eaten dinner. At 6:30, he sends me a text message to say that he wanted to walk his dog before driving up and would be at my place around 8 o’clock. Seriously??? With a young son and a toddler to get to bed around that time, I didn’t feel right about hanging out in the garage with beer while my wife dealt with both kids. Light knows she does enough of that in the mornings while I’m gone to work. But what’s more is it pissed me off that he only contacted me half an hour AFTER his agreed time to show up.

Why the hell would you agree to a 6 o’clock meet-up, only to change it to two hours later? Did he not know he’d be wanting to walk his dog? Was it a spur of the moment decision? Couldn’t he have either skipped walking the dog for one day and made an exception or have someone else walk the dog in his stead? Who knows, maybe I’m being the oversensitive asshole, here. I declined his later offer, since I wanted to be able to help out with the kids, plus I was kinda pissed. Just for some clarity, these examples feature two different people. So I’m not just picking on one person.

I always show up. In fact, I always show up a bit early. I consider that practical, but it’s my hang up. However, it’s important that if you say you’ll do something or be somewhere, that yo follow through. I think that’s not only an important social convention, it’s simple manners. I’ll take the friend I haven’t spoken to in a month who actually shows up as agreed, over the one who flakes for no good reason. I have one friend that I meet up with on occasion. The beauty of this friend is that if she isn’t available for something, she’s honest and upfront about it. And if we agree to meet, she always shows up. On time. Maybe that’s why we get along so well. That, and a shared twisted sense of humour.

The hand of friendship is one that should be freely given. But to an extent, it also needs to be earned. That’s what defines the difference between a “friend” and an “acquaintance.” And WHAT you do is at least as important as HOW you do it. Keep your promises. Keep to your commitments. And always show up. Believe me when I say that your friends will be eternally grateful. And if you have even one or two friends who fall under that good category, be sure to keep regular contact and treat them like gold. They’re a rare lot. Food for thought… ☯

My Kids & Karate

I decided to put out a brief video clip of my two boys, imitating their daddy! The first part is Nathan, doing a horse stance with a double-handed downward strike. The second part is Alexander having a pretty fair go at the punching bag after watching me on it for about 30 minutes. What’s interesting is that both boys were just a bit older than 1-year old in their respective clips, and I never formally taught them any of what’s seen in the video. It just goes to show that some skills can be inherent. ☯

Life Is Like A Camera…

One of the better aspects of returning to social media, is the fact that I’ve had the opportunity to reconnect with some friends I’ve been out of touch with for decades. Considering the fact that I graduated from high school twenty five years ago, it’s no surprise to learn that many of us have changed and taken a direction in life that may not have been assumed, at the time. One of those people has a tendency of sharing little nuggets of wisdom and motivation on his Facebook feed, and I wanted to share one of them with you, today. I don’t know what his source was, and it’s translated from French, so bear with me…

Life is like a camera…
ZOOM in on what’s important…
CAPTURE the food moments…
DEVELOP the best ones and
DELETE the rest!
If you don’t get the results you wanted or wished for,
RELOAD and RESHOOT.

I felt the comparison, as well as the thought behind this was nice. I feel it sends the message that although there’s good and bad in life, it’s important to acknowledge that you should focus on the good and capture those moments that make you happy. I don’t know, maybe I’m just feeling wistful today. Happy Saturday, everyone! ☯

Be Happy, Not Rich. But If You’re Happy, You’re Rich…

What would you do tomorrow, if you won the lottery today? That’s the dream, isn’t it? To win big at the lottery so that you can either retire early, travel the world, enjoys the pleasures of life without the encumbrance of work, bills and debt. I’ve always heard that “Money can’t buy happiness…” While this may true, I’ve usually quipped that I’d prefer to find out for myself. And perhaps someday I’ll get that chance, since I partake of the occasional lottery ticket. But that day is not today.

The way of the modern world is as such that money is a necessary evil in order to exist with any modicum of comfort and sustainability. Unlike previous generations, who lived without the benefits of internet, online shopping and grocery stores, they lived off the land, growing their own crops, making their own clothing and taking life one day at a time without necessarily knowing what was happening in the rest of the world. Sometimes, ignorance can be bliss.

The thing is, life was never meant to be easy. Most things in existence will always seek to take the path of least resistance, so it would make sense that we would choose to suddenly come into a large sum of money and live a life of ease as opposed to working hard and punching a clock. But that isn’t the way of things. And as The Notorious B.I.G. once said, “Mo money, mo problems…” The more monetary value your household holds, the more likely that you’ll face other issues, such as increasingly higher bills and debts. Money can lead to an endless spiral of needing more and more…

I remember a story from years ago, when I was young and foolish and decided to join a multi-level marketing company (I’m looking to start a war with y’all, so if you’re part of an MLM, no disrespect). We were asked by one of the big wigs giving the presentation what we hoped to get out of life and joining this company. There were about a dozen of us, and he came to us one-by-one for an answer. Most people answered exactly what you’d expect:

  • “I want to retire early…”
  • “I want to be debt-free…”
  • “I want financial independence…”
  • “I want to own a big house…”

All the answers provided indicated some desire to have a life of ease and comfort, to lessen the burden of everyday life and make things easier. I watched in silence until the presenter came to me and I gave him an answer that threw everyone for a loop. I answered, “I want to be happy.” He looked at me for a moment with a mixture of confusion at my answer and frustration that I wasn’t answering on-par with the rest of the sheep, but continued on with his presentation without missing a beat. Leave it to me to provide an answer that would throw him for a loop.

It didn’t take me long to recognize that MLM’s were not for me and that I wouldn’t find happiness there. And like most people, I had to try it to find out. But one of the other attendees came to me after the presentation when we were enjoying some coffee and socializing, and asked me to explain my answer to the presenter’s question. My answer was this:

“I don’t need to have millions of dollars to have a fulfilling life. I just need to be happy. I can do without a mansion, so long as there’s a clean, comfortable roof over my head, food in my fridge and clothes on my back. What I need in order to be happy is simply having the ability to live. What I mean by that is, if I want to grab a medium cup of Tim Horton’s coffee every morning on my way to work, I want to be able to do so without having to calculate if I have enough money in the bank. That’s only one example, but it demonstrates that I don’t need to be rich; I simply need to do better.”

Money CAN’T buy happiness. It can certainly ease financial burden and allow access to resources one may not have, without the added money. But happiness comes from what you get out of life and how you achieve it. Working and being out in the world is about more than the salary you make; it’s about the self-accomplishment you feel and the impact you have on the world. THAT’s the lesson! THAT’s the message we need to pass on to future generations.

I have a friend who often feels he needs the top quality of everything; half-million dollar home, huge camper, newest vehicles and all the fun little “adult” toys one can obtain (And I mean stuff like a hot tub or motorcycle! Get your minds out of the gutter!) I remember when this fried came to visit our home for the first time, when we moved to Regina. We had purchased a reasonably-sized, reasonably-priced bungalow. I remember seeing the look on his face when he walked through; almost looking down his nose at everything and judging the house based on its appearance. It felt as though he couldn’t get out fast enough.

Sure, the house needed (needs) repairs. Sure, it isn’t a grandiose mansion. But you know what? It has the room we need at a price that doesn’t have us living poor to make payments. Meanwhile, the friend in question may have a shiny marble of a house, but he often complains that he has difficulty with his month-to-month. I may be straying a bit off-topic here, but the point is that our home has warmth. Our home has comfort and we can make do with what we have and be happy. And that’s what’s important.

Life isn’t meant to be easy. As a colleague of mine commented last week, “What if it were all easy? What if?” Where would the challenge of life be, if there were no obstacles to overcome. The struggle is ultimately part of the journey, and each journey is unique. So, stop wishing for what you don’t have and start working towards what you want. The results of your efforts will bring you unbridled happiness and once that happiness is rooted in you, you’ll be richer than you can imagine. ☯

“Do Not Pray For An Easy Life, Pray For The Strength To Endure A Difficult One.”

– Bruce Lee

Don’t Let The Mud Drag You Down…

There’s an unfortunate side-effect that comes with having Type-1 Diabetes that people often ignore or fail to recognize. For the most part, it isn’t their fault. After all, Diabetes involves so many side effects and necessary treatments for various aspects that we often tend to ignore the symptoms that aren’t detrimental. What I mean is a significant and noticeable lack of personal energy. It’s a common side-effect of someone with Diabetes but in reality, it can affect absolutely anybody.

In my teens and through the majority of my twenties, I had significant difficulty finding my “get up and go.” A lot of that had to do with improperly balance blood sugars as a result of poor insulin dosing and a diet that DIDN’T involve the calculation of carbohydrates (my family basically thought that “no sugar” was all the diet I needed). But I would often have to melt out of my bed, stagger to the washroom and physically struggle to eat, get dressed and get out the door. To say that I was thankful to have no responsibilities beyond sitting in class and listening to teachers was an understatement.

I’ve had incidents where I’ve faltered or fallen asleep in class, often because my blood sugars were too high or too low. I would usually be okay by the time classes let out, which was definitely a good thing since Sensei wouldn’t have taken that grogginess with stoic silence. He’d have punched and kicked the grogginess right out of me. But there were nights where even karate class saw me feel as though lifting my limbs was like lifting blocks of concrete and I didn’t feel as though I had the energy to put forth my best effort.

This kind of effect isn’t simply limited to someone with Diabetes, and there’s a lot you can do to reduce/eliminate that “checked out” feeling one often gets on those days where the energy to get shit done just doesn’t seem to be there. One good example I like to use when it comes to this, is how a person starts their day. I usually make a point to wake up roughly two hours before my scheduled work time. If I use a specific morning last week as an example, I awoke about five minutes before my alarm went off. Annoying, but decent.

I started by putting away all the dried dishes I had done the night before, took my prescribed medications and began sucking back some caffeine and made Nathan’s lunch for school. This was followed by preparing a work lunch for myself, getting cleaned up and dressed and getting all the trash receptacles in house emptied as it was trash day. I got dressed, brushed my teeth and stepped out to put the trash bin to the curb. I finished with ten minutes of relaxation, sitting in the living room as my infant son Alex, climbed around my legs to get some much-needed attention before I left.

I walked out the door feeling pretty good. Blood sugars were normal and my day had begun. I know some folks who get up a couple of hours before work, but basically sit like a lump until they almost literally have to step out the door. What’s the point? May as well get some extra sleep, if that’s all you’re gonna do! But my point is how you start your day sets the standard for how the remainder will go. If you start your day on a negative kick with no “get up and go,” it’s almost a certainty that you’ll like feel stagnant throughout the day. If you hit the ground running, well… An object in motion tends to stay in motion.

What people need to understand is that the energy is already there. But it’s how you promote it and use it, that makes the difference. You don’t need to be an all-star athlete in top shape in order to feel energized throughout the day. You just need to be smart about it. Light knows, I have my days where I have to hammer through the sluggishness to make it back to the pillow at night. But it’s important to remember that even the most powerful 4×4 truck will still struggle and spin its wheels, when trying to get out of the mud.

Energy creates life. Life promotes movement. Movement promotes energy. And on, and on, and on… If you get you and get moving, your energy will be better allocated and you’ll feel better. You may have to struggle through that first little bit, but it’ll happen. If you settle in like a rock, you don’t get that promoting of one’s energy that’s so critical to a healthy and energized day. So when the alarm goes off, first thing in the morning, start by getting up immediately. Avoid the temptation to hit the snooze button and stay curled up. Hit the ground running. You always be tired at the end of the day but then again, that’s when you’re SUPPOSED to be tired. And as I always say, balanced blood sugars and regular exercise are always a great help. ☯

The Chi Effect

There’s no arguing that positive energy is contagious. Ask yourself how many times you’ve felt in a bit of a foul mood, only to be lifted up and singing along with a great, upbeat song on the radio… Positive energy creates positive results; a fact that more people should be able to recognize. By the same token, you can be in an excellent mood, only to be brought down by someone negative who is in a bad mood or spreading sad information. I was chatting about this very thing a short while ago with a colleague of mine from work.

I’ve never been one of those martial arts practitioners who put a great deal of stock into being able to “project” energy or that my Chi or Hara could be used as a weapon. There’s are plenty of idiots on YouTube professing that kind of thing. But there’s no arguing that we are all and everything is energy. Not only do basic physics say so, it’s probably one of the few points of existence that both science and religion agree on. At my core, I’m made of energy. You’re made of energy. The screen you’re reading this post on is energy. The entire world and all things are composed and made of energy.

If you’re still reading and aren’t convinced that I’m nuts, I bring this up because although I don’t believe in projecting energy to knock down opponents (There are seriously people who believe they can do this! Google it!), I can admit to being able to focus my energies into my strikes, my focus and my concentration. This is an entirely different ball game, and I’ve experienced it firsthand while training in karate. Just imagine those times when you’ve been floored by a workout but somehow dug deep and found the strength to carry on for that last little bit. That’s tapping into your energy!

For the purposes of this post, I refer primarily to Chi, because it’s more widely recognized as the vital energy flow that all people have. In karate, we usually refer to the Hara, which is defined as the focused centre of the body where the person’s true nature and vitality reside. But when I say “Hara,” I usually get confused looks. And I can admit that there are some differences, so since we’re discussing energy I’ll simply stick with Chi. Still with me? Good.

Decades ago, when I was younger and more about the skill than the meaning, I began noticing a certain phenomenon around my Sensei. Random people would often approach him and speak to him, sometimes to take photographs or simply ask how his day was going. I never thought much about it beyond considering it odd, considering there was usually a number of us around but he would usually be the only one approached. Then one day, such an encounter finally had me ask the question.

We were in Naha, Okinawa. The year was 2001 and I was 23-years old. I was full of the ol’ proverbial piss & vinegar and I was raring to train. But since the temperatures in Okinawa during the month of October reached somewhere in the low 40 degrees Celsius, Sensei felt our afternoons could best be spent relaxing on the beach. I should have been willing to relax and enjoy the sun and sand, but like I said: I was too focused on the skill than the meaning. So it irked me to no end that we were just sitting there, when we were actually in a Japanese prefecture and there was so much to see.

Anyway, Sensei was walking along the beach with a towel around his shoulders when five or six Okinawans approached him and started talking to him and asked to take photographs with him. I had seen similar things happen with him on numerous occasions, so I asked his wife, who was on the beach with us why this always seemed to be happening. She explained that it seemed as though people had always been drawn to him, without him ever trying or drawing attention to himself. It struck me as an odd thing. Until some years later, when it started happening to me.

Once my youthful shenanigans started dying away and I became more of an instructor and more about the art than the skill, I started to notice that people would often approach me without reason. Sometimes it would just be a general “Hi, how’s your day been?” But sometimes I would have random strangers approach me and talk to me at length without reason, without knowing me and without begging for change or trying to sign me up to their multi-level marketing scheme. It seemed as though I could manage to provide advice, encouragement and perk people up without much effort. Folks would often even come to me for advice, even if I never put myself out as someone who would provide it. I never paid much attention to it; until it went away.

The last three years have been the most difficult years of my life. I’ve been depressed, despondent and at my lowest. I’ve had some good times during those three years, such as the birth of my son Alexander. But it’s been rough waters and it’s taken some time for me to see bright shores ahead. They say you never know what you’ve got until it’s gone. I never noticed the effect I described above disappearing, until last weekend when it came back out of nowhere.

I was at the local corner store, checking my lotto ticket. Yeah, yeah, I know… Let’s move on as the lotto ticket isn’t the topic of the post. As I was walking towards my vehicle, a random elderly lady walked towards me and asked me how my day was going. I replied that it was going well. I thought it strange that she was walking towards me, specifically since there were about a dozen vehicles and people milling about. I thought that perhaps she’d ask me for money or something. I hate that I even think this way, but the world has made me this way. She approached and told me she was feeling very happy today as it was Mother’s Day and her children would be bringing her supper.

We chatted for several minutes about her children and how her day was going as well. When I mentioned my own children, she asked me to wish my wife a Happy Mother’s Day as well. I promised that I would. We wished each other a great remainder of our weekend and she carried on her way. When I got into the car, I recognized the phenomenon for what it was and when my wife asked, I explained that it was the “Chi Effect,” and sat in bewilderment for a few moments as I recognized that I had been lacking it for the past few years. It made me happy. It renewed my sense of how my life had changed.

I’m not a guru or a sage. I don’t profess to project my aura, I don’t practice Reiki and I believe my energy is my own and no one else’s. I’m not deeply rooted in metaphysics, although I will confess that I’ve studied it a bit. But what I do believe is that positive energy is contagious, and I believe that when you’re happy and you give off that positive energy, others will pick up on it. And I think that’s what happened with this lady and I, last weekend.

My life and existence have involved the martial arts in every respect. I’ve learned and developed to a level that I realize that the same aspects I’ve seen in Sensei in my younger years are now being reflected in me. The past couple of months have seen some of the shadows lifted from my soul. And the past month in specific has seen me happier than I’ve been in a long, long time. And I think that people can sense that, albeit in a passive way. As my wife once said, many years ago, “happiness heals.” Perhaps some new wounds are starting mend, with some old wounds beginning to make way for new happiness. Food for thought… ☯

There’s Always A Choice…

Ah, life… It has a way of backing us into a corner in such a way as to convince us that we often have no choice but to continue on whatever path is laid out before. Although this can sometimes be true, there’s always a choice to be made; even when it seems that there isn’t. Life may not care about one’s plan and according to Ferris Bueller, life moves pretty fast. But even if life changes things up quickly, you always have that opportunity to choose.

“Life Moves Pretty Fast. If You Don’t Stop And Look Around Once In A While, You Could Miss It.”

– Ferris Bueller

The problem is that when a person is backed into a corner, they’ll often feel powerless or unable to make any choices. It can sometimes look that way, but more often than not we allow ourselves to carry on without consciously making a choice. After all, at a baser level we are still animals. And most animals will take the path of least resistance. From an animal standpoint, this is because it conserves the most energy and contributes to an animal’s overall survival.

Humans, despite being a part of the animal kingdom, have to deal with the stress, anxiety and subsequent issues that accompany the reflex of just sitting back and doing nothing. For example, if you face an accusation from someone and may face repercussions, the toll it can take on your mental health is measurable, despite the fact that it could potentially be easier to take the path of least resistance and wait to see how things play out.

This is only one example, but my point is that the right to choose is something that is essentially unique to humans. Even when animals make a choice, they’re doing so out of instinct and need as opposed to self-awareness and informed decisions. Exercising that unique choice is a right not permitted to everyone in the world, so I feel that it’s important to exercise it in every instance.

So, you may not be able to choose how someone else speaks, acts or directs their emotions. But you can certainly choose your reaction to those things. You may not be able to choose if a particular job or business still exists, tomorrow. But you can definitely choose what you do about it. Life may have thrown you a bad curve. Maybe you’ve gained weight, fell out of shape or an illness has caused your health to wane. You may not have chosen any of those things, but you can definitely choose what changes you make and how you affect your overall.

No matter what situations life may present, there’s always a choice to make. And considering not everyone in the world is given the opportunity to choose, you owe it to yourself to exercise that choice. The choice to choose. For example, you chose to read this post… ☯

When The Hell Did THAT Happen…?

I like to think that I’m pretty good at paying attention to detail. After all, my professional livelihood has always depended on that very skill, so I usually make a point of noticing things even before I technically need to. However, something seems to have happened that I wasn’t even aware of. I appear to have exceeded 300 followers! I’m sitting at 303, to be exact.

When I started authoring this blog, I did so for two reasons:

  1. To share pertinent information about Buddhism, Diabetes, Martial Arts as well as Health&Fitness as I knew of it; and
  2. To grow my ability to write, research and express myself.

I like to think that I’ve easily accomplished those two goals. In the past two and half years, I’ve met some amazing people who write some amazing blogs. I’ve made contacts and helped to share the knowledge I’ve gathered from 38 years of managing Type-1 Diabetes and 32 years of studying Buddhism and karate (although the Buddhist aspect didn’t come along until a few years AFTER I started karate). It’s been an amazing and in fact, and unexpected pleasure in my daily life to start authoring this blog. And now that I’ve started, I don’t expect I’ll ever stop. It’s just too much fun and I find myself unable to shut up, so it works for me.

A big thanks for everyone who reads, comments and enjoys my blog. You keep reading them, I’ll keep writing them. And yes, I’m well aware that “300” is not a number worthy of celebration. But if it was enough for the Spartans to hold off the Persians (albeit temporarily), I’m comfortable knowing I already have an army behind me to keep this thing going. ☯

The Many Shades Of Green

The grass is always greener on the other side. Is it, though? Humans are notorious for wanting what they can’t have, but they tend to be just as bad or worse for wanting what they DON’T have. It’s a pretty common reflex. If you want to purchase a particular vehicle that you’ve seen one of your neighbours driving, you may work towards getting it. But usually, soon thereafter you’ll see something ELSE and think, “Oh, wow! Wish I had that instead…”

Most of us have thought or felt this way, at some point in our lives. I believe the old school term is “coveting.” Although most people automatically think of the Holy Bible when they hear this term, it can easily apply to life in general. The problem is that modern life makes it likely that there will always be a “step up” from where you find yourself at or what you may possess. It shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that I’m a bit of a minimalist and could care less about possessions. But even I find myself in that same boat, on occasion.

It’s easy to covet what we don’t have. But once you accept what you DO have and appreciate it, life becomes so much easier and peaceful. I think it was Oprah Winfrey who said, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” At least I think it was Oprah. It’s similar to saying that if you wait to spot the field with the greener grass, you’ll miss the whole train ride. ☯

“Appreciate What You Have, Before Time Makes You Appreciate What You Had.”

– Vijay Raj

Proper Life/Work Balance

There’s an old saying that goes something along the lines of, Work to live, don’t live to work… Don’t quote me, and I don’t know where this originates from but it brings up an interesting line of thought. many people actually ENJOY living to work. Sensei used to say that if he genuinely enjoys what he’s doing, then it isn’t work. And if he gets paid for doing what he enjoys, then it’s icing on the cake. And that can be a beautiful thing. But it’s important to recognize that one needs to find a proper balance.

Most people refer to it as “work/life balance,” because it rolls off the tongue a little better. But I revered it to “life/work balance” in the title, because life should always come first. Even if it doesn’t care about your plans. And once again, I digress… Modern life no longer lets you get away with living life COMPLETELY off the grid and without a source of income and social resources. So for the most part, we need to make our peace with the fact that one way or another, you gotta get a job! (I hear my dad’s voice, booming in my head!)

There are no doubt some contrarians out there, who would argue that they know someone who spent their lives living in a cabin in the woods, off the grid and never had a need for money. I have to admit that such a life holds some appeal, but I would never survive since I require technology such as my insulin pump and medicine to go along with it. Eventually, these off-the-grid folks will need money in some way, shape or form in order to get treatment for grievous injuries or illnesses. But that’s hardly the point of today’s post.

The point is, you need to strike the correct balance between your work life and your home life. Depending on what you do for work, this can be superbly easy. You clock in, do your work and clock out. You may not need to think about work while you’re at home. But if you allow exhaustion and lack of motivation FROM work keep you from enjoying the aspects of life, then you still haven’t struck the right balance. You need to be able to enjoy your down time. AND you need to know how to “shut off” the work part of your brain. If you’re doing a puzzle with your wife but thinking of that proposal you need to finish writing, then you’re on the wrong track.

I can admit to being guilty of this, as my previous career showed me. Even when I was home, I was always “on duty,” unable to turn my mind off, sleep properly or enjoy my down time to its fullest extent. It can be harmful, and your loved ones can easily come to resent this behaviour, if left unchecked. So I guess the question is, what can you do to ensure that you find this proper balance? And how can you ensure that you maintain it? Lucky for you, I’m going to share some thoughts on that!

Have a routine. This is the spice of modern life, but most people don’t necessarily understand JUST how important it is. Having a specific routine, first thing in the morning can get your mind accustomed to the fact that you need to get moving. Whether you choose to start by sipping that first coffee and reading the paper or you prefer to shower, shave (for us guys), get dressed and wolf down that day-starting batch of carbs, staying consistent on work days will help you to have some very much-needed “get up and go.” When your work day is done, it’s also important to have a routine, for the opposite reason. It gets you and your body wound down for the night’s sleep ahead.

Do some stuff. This should be common sense, but if you flop down on the couch and do nothing once you get home, you’ll sour your energy, become stagnant and you’ll leave your thoughts open to contemplating the day’s work and potentially the following day. You want to be able to enjoy your free time. Play with your kids. Have a workout or go for a walk. Have a glass of wine and watch a movie. I often hear the siren call of naps and early sleep. But if you get a full night’s sleep anyway, you should work towards maintaining your energy for the awake hours.

Don’t work outside of scheduled hours. Sometimes, our plates can get pretty full and it can get away from us. For those of you committed to the work you do, it can be pretty tempting to bring your work home with you and try to catch up. This is significantly easier with current pandemic restrictions causing many office-based positions to be performed from home anyway. And working at home can feel more comfortable, since you’re among your home and your family. Things may feel less pressured at home, but it isn’t the office and you should save your home time for those things that are not related to work.

The bottom line is that unless you win millions of dollars through the lottery or inherit a fortune, the need to work isn’t going anywhere. And in truth, a job can be a fantastic means of expressing oneself and making a mark on the world. I often like to say that I’d continue working even if I won the lottery because I’d go out of my mind without something to focus my thoughts and skills on. Not to mention that I would potentially drive my wife nuts by being home around the clock. But the reality is that balance is when you clock out and head home at the end of the day, leaving the “work” behind to be picked up again tomorrow. And steer towards the “life.” There’ll always be work to do. But life doesn’t last forever. ☯