A Little Touch Of Perspective…

I’m sometimes surprised at the places I manage to find the oddest hints of inspiration. Places I would never have intentionally gone to find ideas and inspiration will often slap me in the face with a sudden bout of wisdom. It surprises me, every time it happens. As the old saying goes, we most often find our destiny on the road we least thought to travel. The same can be easily applied to inspiration or good advice. I was reminded of this recently, when an old high school friend posted something on their Facebook page. It’s author unknown and written in French, so y’all will have to bear with me as I write it out and translate it…

Modern-day Priorities…

Books: $25? What’s it about…?
Pitcher of beer: $25? I’ll have a second one…

Groceries: $100? That’s fuckin’ ridiculous…
Eating out at a restaurant: $100? That’s not so bad…

Gym membership: $500? I can’t afford that shit…
Tattoo: $500? That’s a great price, sign me up…

Education: $1500? What am I, rich???
Southern vacation: $1500? When do we head out?

30 minutes of reading: I don’t have time for this, I have things to do…
30 minutes of social media: Wow, time seems to fly, where’d the day go?

60 minutes of sports: I don’t have enough free time for that…
60 minutes of binging a series: Just one more episode…

All things are a matter of priority and perspective. What are yours?

This post speaks to me because I find myself allowing quite a number of the differences listed above to take place within my own life. The most important is the last one, where people would rather binge-watch a show for an hour than workout for an hour or less. Priorities have become skewered and laziness has become an acceptable trait in some people. I see myself checking facebook and social media before taking the time to read the plethora of books I own, some of which I’ve had for years and never opened. The first and second ones speak to me on a personal level, as well.

The important lesson here is simply to realize where one’s priorities lie and work towards steering them in one’s best interest. Self-care and self-improvement are important, no matter what one needs to do to in order to achieve it. It’s human nature to do what’s easier but it takes a slightly stronger force of will to make the better choice. Does that mean you can’t occasionally binge-watch your favourite show or eat out at a restaurant? Of course not, so long as moderation and common sense rule the day. Food for thought… ☯️

All The Little Things… ( A Matter Of Perspective)

Sometimes it gets easy to forget that the important things in life will often be a matter of perspective based on one’s circumstances. For example, most of us take for a given that we’ll get home at night and have food on the table. While we may consider this a little thing, barely worthy of thought or attention, for the family struggling to make ends meet, having food on the table can mean the world. And that‘s what I mean by perspective. What seems like such a little thing to one person may be integral to a better life for others.

I was reminded recently of just how lucky I am, in life. I have a warm, stable home and household, food in my fridge, clothes on my back and I want for nothing. There are things I want out of life, obviously. But there’s no shortage of warmth, safety and love within my life. Not everyone is so lucky. That’s why when a friend reached out for some help for someone else, I was able to say yes without hesitation. There is a prevailing belief that if you find yourself able to do good, you should.

What I did or who I did it for is not important. But knowing that I was able to help someone in need not only made me feel better but I’m certain the person obtaining the help is grateful, as well. We all need a bit of help sometimes, regardless of where we are in life. The irony is that it’s sometimes the richest people with the biggest entourage who need the most help but are the least likely to ask for it.

If you have the ability to help someone else, I highly recommend it. Although no one will line themselves up to give everything away, there are always ways to help others. And not only does it make you feel good to help others but karma will love you for it. Granted, if you do it to get good karma, you’re kind of defeating the purpose. But any good is still good. So go out and spread that good. Doing so will go a long way towards eliminating suffering in yourself as well as others. Food for thought…☯️

Why Would You Ever “Lego” Of Your Childhood…

One of the fun things about having children is that you get to live vicariously through them and in most cases, you get to relive aspects of your childhood by playing with their toys. Namely, their freaking LEGO blocks… Most adult will joke about the aspect that they found themselves stepping on LEGO blocks left out on the floor. I’ll admit that I live that very thing on a daily basis and not just with LEGO. But I have to admit that playing with Nathan and his LEGO tickles the nostalgia bone.

I still remember the first LEGO set I got as a kid. It was a spaceship of sorts that included a storage pod and command pod but when assembled, it became a larger ship. I used to play with that thing for hours, taking it apart, putting it back together and losing myself within the realms of imagination. Given how much I enjoyed it, one would think that I would have had plenty of LEGO sets in my youth, but that really didn’t happen.

As Nathan has gotten a little older, he’s started to receive actual LEGO sets and boxes of bulk pieces, like the one pictured above. A couple of years ago, he received a pretty substantial LEGO set that built into a police station with multiple floors, multiple vehicles and a helicopter. It was pretty badass, despite how difficult it was to put together. Nathan loved it but has since completely dissembled it. Such is the case when imagination takes over; one won’t always follow the pattern or the instructions.

For years, I’ve been looking at different LEGO sets and thinking how cool it would be to make some them as a hobby. When I worked at the academy, I had a colleague who would often order LEGO sets of specific things. My favourite was one of the cars James Bond used. It had functional secret compartments and features. He was nice enough o bring that one to the office to demonstrate it. I had always thought I’d order a couple of sets at some point. The LEGO website even has an adult section. But some of my concerns was how to assemble such a set without my kids getting into it and then, what to do with it afterwards.

Nathan’s assorted LEGO bin

Last night, I finally broke down and ordered a few sets. In fact, I ordered three sets that interconnect with each other. One is a lunar rover, one is a lunar base and one is a lunar space station. From what I can tell, they connect and interact with one another, so it should look pretty sweet once it’s assembled. I figure I’ll buy a nice, large baseplate to build them all on to allow for stability and permanence. It likely isn’t a set that I would take apart or alter once I’ve put it together. It’ll likely be displayed.

Most aspects of our childhood get left behind when we grow into adulthood. But there are some aspects we can always revisit. And why not? There are still a lot of things that one can participate in, that can include your children and bring that nice, warm feeling of nostalgia rushing back. I’ll see just how deep that takes hold once I get my sets. I’ll keep you all posted. ☯️

The Matrix Has You…

There’s no denying that modern life has led to the here and now; a world where everyone (or almost everyone) is plugged in. Computers, laptops, cell phone and tablets are seen and used everywhere with a very small demographic remaining who have either never laid hands on one of those or never will. Our children are no different, with modern life making it almost impossible for someone to raise a child without the use of electronic devices. One good example I can provide is when my son start second grade and his school demanded that we provide him with a device to do his homework on. This blew my mind and I immediately opposed it, as it’s one thing to pay for supplies that are needed but entirely another when you’re expected to buy them an expensive electronic device just to do homework.

My opposition was not well-received, as I was told that any device could be used, including my own cell phone. I don’t know about y’all, but I’m not a fan of providing my personal cell to anyone. Beyond the fact that I use it myself as my personal phone line, there’s also my email access, games, alarm, scheduler and social media. My phone is my phone, purchased with my own money for my own purposes. The presumption of being told I can simply hand it off to anyone else is ludicrous to me. But here we are. I ended up giving my son one of the older version cell phones I had, since I never turn them in. He now uses this not only for his school apps but for a few simple games and some streaming services as well. This is combination with the Nintendo Switch we bought him last summer to keep him occupied on our trip out East.

The issue is that my children are fast-becoming people who can’t live without these devices. As a result, my 8-year old, who should be outside, running, playing, climbing and riding a bike, spends his down time on his back or lying on his stomach, watching Netflix Kids and Disney+, playing Minecraft and unfortunately binge-watching Minecraft videos on YouTube. The unfortunate byproduct of this standard is that Nathan is becoming a bit of a lazy shit. Gets home from school, drops his shit and grabs his devices. Wakes up in the morning, walks himself out of the bedroom and grabs his devices. All weekend, stays on his devices. Drives me absolutely batty!

I grew up on the Northern shores of New Brunswick, where I spent my down time in the forests, swimming in brooks and playing outside. I put so many kilometres on my bike that I usually ended up needing a new one every couple of years. Maybe that had something to do with my growth, though. My point is, we’ve been trying to get Nathan more physically involved with the everyday life outside the house. Considering we have some pretty nice weather on occasion, our new standard has been that if he wants his device, he needs to spend an hour outdoors, first. Not if there’s a snow storm or bad weather, obviously. But in general and overall.

Our idea has also been poorly received. Considering that yesterday morning, I was able to sleep in quite late (pretty bad that between 9 and 10 am is now considered late) before my toddler woke me by scaring the living shit out of me, I didn’t start out my Saturday on the best note. But I made it clear to Nathan that he was getting no screens until he spent an hour outdoors. In true, teenage form, he decided it was a better and easier option to curl up in a blanket and sulk than just go outside. It was -3 degrees. That’s almost cut-off jean shorts weather. Never mind the fact that the time he used to sulk about not getting his screens, he could have easily burned through an hour outside.

Look, I get it… It’s 2023 and everyone and everything is tethered to the electronic frontier. There’s no living completely device-free because no matter how you live, you’ll eventually need technology in some given way, shape or form. I just don’t want technology being the only way my children experience life. Ultimately, he conceded and went outside. Although I don’t like that it turned into a negotiation, at least I got him outside. I think it’s one of those scenarios where the parent gets to say, “Someday you’ll thank me…” ☯️

When Your Pillow Is Stronger Than Your Will…

One of the big things that makes dealing with the winter months harder is the fact that it’s always dark when I start my day. This basically forces my body to say, “Nah, bro! Lay your head back down and relax, it isn’t light out yet…” As much as I would like to succumb to that little voice, duty and responsibility are usually the prevailing factors. This morning was no exception. I woke to my alarm, which is a pretty rare occurrence for me. I usually toss and turn and wake well before my alarm goes off.

I got out of bed and started on what is the first day of my family’s complete routine when it isn’t the holidays, which includes making a school lunch for my oldest. Today is his first day back to school and he couldn’t have been more thrilled. Kidding. Totally fucking kidding. He was like a bag of smashed ass when he woke up. In fact, lately he’s always carried a look as though he needs a cup of coffee to start his day. This is well in keeping with the fact that he’s developed a significant teenage-like attitude despite only being 8-years old. No idea where he gets it from…

Begrudgingly walking to school

I’m usually gone to work by the time he gets up for school but this morning was apparently the day he chose to view the world as I did, staring out his window and seeing that it was still dark. This led him to believe that his place was in his bed as opposed to braving the elements to head to school. It took a bit of convincing from my wife to make him understand that it was still dark because the nights are longer right now but that yes, he needed to get up for school.

He eventually made his way towards getting dressed, grabbing his things and heading out the door, albeit begrudgingly. According not my wife, he never said a single word from the time he woke up to the moment he stepped out the door. This is the basis for his first day back to school. Poor kid. I don’t think I’ve ever related to my son as much as I have this morning. It’s rough, heading back in after having been on break for a while.

I was extremely close to just saying screw it and staying in bed, this morning. Such is the effect that winter has on an aging body. So deep was my sense of fatigue that I actually caved and purchased an energy drink on the way to work; my first can of 2023, not that this is something I’m bragging about. But this morning has certainly made me appreciate the down time I’ve had over the holidays and the ability to simply sleep without an alarm (until my boys woke up). ☯️

Back In The Tilted Saddle…

It’s been something of a rough six months for me. Although I recognize that some may have some significant issues they’re dealing with in their own lives, one must acknowledge that our individual obstacles in life are specific to us, so I make no apologies for disliking anything I may be dealing with. My journey is my own. Moving on. Last fall, I faced a strange shift in what was otherwise one of the few remaining stable points in my life. I travelled home on vacation for what should have been a very special trip. My parents would meet my mother-in-law for the first time as well as seeing their second grandson in person for the first time. it should have been fantastic but it turned out to be anything but.

Besides the lacklustre outcome of the trip, which included a massive amount of spending to get us there, I was taken aback at how few people made themselves available to us while we were there. While I recognize the selfishness of that statement, it’s usually what happens when I go home. family and friends make time so that we can catch up. This didn’t happen, this time around. In fact, even Sensei somehow managed to skirt seeing me during the time I was there. I left New Brunswick with a feeling of emptiness that I had never experienced before. Although I was disappointed at the time, I think it had an effect on me that’s been lingering over the past months.

For quite a while now, I’ve had no energy or motivation to focus on my fitness or health. Sure, I’ve continued to take my medications, I monitor my blood sugars and keep a close eye on certain things. But I dropped out of karate within two classes of starting back in September. The pressures of work and life seem to have held me down more in recent months than it ever has, before. Losing that consistency and stability back home made me realize that “back home” isn’t back home, anymore. I took a rare opportunity to have some time off over the holidays. Since Christmas and Boxing Day took place over a weekend, I had a four-day weekend starting on December 23rd and I took the remainder of the following week as vacation time.

Since New Year’s Day was also on a weekend, I had yesterday as a day off. All in, I was away on vacation from December 23rd to this morning. That’s almost two weeks that should have allowed me to relax and unwind. Unfortunately, certain elements beyond my control managed to keep some pressure on, despite being on vacation. This morning is my first day back. I have obstacles and issues to deal with that manifested during a time when I shouldn’t have been thinking of work. But at least I got a few mornings of sleeping in. Let’s see how well THIS is going to go… ☯️

Taking Some Time…

I was never much of one to be out until all hours of the night, when I was younger. While most of my counterparts were out at parties, drinking booze and getting into trouble, I was usually in the dojo, studying at home or watching movies and spending time with my dad. Even once I hit my teenage years and got my own car, my time out was reasonably limited of my own accord, often choosing to bid good evening to my friends and head home rather than stay out for the sake of staying out. This didn’t always work out in my favour and may have contributed to my becoming something of a loner or outcast. Que sera…

“I didn’t disappear, I traded;
Nights out for knowledge seeking.
Parties for intimate gatherings.
Chasing money for chasing purpose.
Meaningless work for my passion.
Being busy for protecting time.
Soul extortion for soul searching.
Living for others for living my life.”

– Lewis Howes

I found the quote above some weeks ago and it kind of stuck with. I look back on my time as a youth and I recognize that I wasn’t popular, wasn’t part of any sports teams or major groups and I’m reasonably sure that almost no one that I graduated from school remembers me or gives two shits about where I ended up. But I have no regrets about how I’ve spent my youth. I made some god friends, the best a man could ask for. And ironically, I still have contact with all of them, almost thirty years later. That says something. It tells me I made some good choices that led me to the here and now and I did it while involving people who made a positive impact.

This is what’s important to remember; how you chose to live your life will ultimately impact the person you become. Does that mean that hitting the clubs and being popular automatically make you an asshole? I wouldn’t make THAT generalization but I can confirm that I was never bullied or beaten up by any of the academics in my school. This also says something. The message to any of my young readers, assuming I HAVE young readers, is no matter what you may be dealing with or facing in your life, it’s up to you to forge the path that will lead you to where you need to be. So make sure it’s a positive path. Although some things may gratify you in the moment, the long term is what you should be looking at. Food for thought…☯️

It’s Not Them, It’s You…

It continues to boggle my mind how so many people seem to be of the opinion that they always entitled to certain things. None will argue that we live in the age of the snowflake, with people demanding apologies, special accommodations and everything under the stars, simply because they feel that they’re entitled to it. Nothing could be farther from the truth but the unfortunate reality is that those who understand what hill they choose to die on usually end up rolling over for these individuals.

This is an unfortunate phenomenon that has been going on for years and likely decades. But I’ve never been more aware of it then now. I’ve often see people make poor decisions, purchase things and try to return them without a receipt, demand things of other individuals and even involve themselves in other peoples’ matters that have nothing to do with them. Just Google “entitled” or “Karen” and you can see plenty of examples of this phenomenon. I’m certainly part of the denomination who genuinely feels sorry for all the kindhearted and pleasant people named Karen. I’m not even sure how this name came to be associated with entitlement… Maybe that would do for another post. Moving on…

The concept that the world owes you any damn thing is an inaccurate one and one that will almost always end up making things worse for you. Although the Buddhist side of me believes it’s important not to cause further suffering and that apologizing and making amends are important tools in order to achieve that aspect, one needs to recognize that we are ultimately entitled to nothing and demanding things or wanting apologies and recompense based on principle will not only get you nowhere, it’ll actually lead to further suffering.

I don’t think I have much of a point to make here and maybe I’m just venting. Most of this is simply observation and I recognize that when’s one thing comes up, I have more of a tendency to simply let it go. Not because I’m lazy or don’t feel that I’m entitled to be treated properly but because one needs to choose what hill to die on. Some things just aren’t worth the overall effort. There are more important things in life than trying to prove you’re entitled. Food for thought… ☯️

A Little Shared Chaos…

Being a parent can be challenging on many different levels. For the most part, you’re dealing with a tiny, drunken version of yourself that does stupid shit and has just enough smarts to get into trouble but not enough logic to recognize said trouble to keep from accidentally offing themselves. If you’re lucky, and you put in JUST enough effort, you can potentially guide them to adulthood where they’ll potentially become a productive member of modern society. Yeah, right… I don’t know what my parents actually imagined for me when I was growing up, except to be healthy and happy. I’m not the former (thanks, Type-1 Diabetes) and I’m rarely the latter, despite my best efforts.

Anyway, sometimes it can be easy to forget that as a parent, we’re not alone. Parenting is by far not a new thing and all the issues we deal with are shared by other parents, as well. This reality slapped me in the face on Friday night when my wife and I attempted to visit my son’s school for his class’ Christmas concert. Picture this: dozens and dozens of families, all with several kids and everyone running around, different rooms with different activities and the main “gym” space holding just about enough chairs for one-third of the people in attendance. Throw in a dash of overheating from packing everyone in like sardines and you’ve got a perfect recipe for a PTSD flare-up.

On top of that, is my 3-year boy who neither understands or cares to follow direction and watch his big brother perform instead of trying to tear the school down by its foundation (and he could do it, too!). It made for a rough and chaotic hour and a half for the sake of Nathan singing for about four minutes. He was so happy and proud of his performance and I was a bit surprised at how quiet and well-behaved he was while on stage. Getting both boys back into their boots and heading home was a challenge in and of itself but we made it home relatively unscathed, despite the fact I was emotionally drained and had to crash almost immediately thereafter.

Interestingly enough, I noticed that there were plenty of exasperated parents and noisy, disobedient children. I noticed that all of those families were dealing with the same challenges and problems that i was seeing. Oddly enough, most of them didn’t really seem to give a shit about it all, as much as I did. But it did make me realize that most families deal with children in a public place in ways that I do. Just a little bit of shared chaos… Kids sure as shit make life interesting. ☯️

A Little Break In The Routine…

Last Thursday was a bit of a gong show for me but offered an interesting take on the day. First, my agency had it’s staff Christmas party. Now, I’m sure we’ve all watched sitcoms or comedy movies where they have the sad little get-together in the conference room with dollar-store chips and cardboard hats, taking an hour to “celebrate” before trudging back to their work terminals to finish out the day. This is often reminiscent of the US version of “The Office,” where the manager would frequently throw parties on a whim.

Luckily, my agency chose to go a bit higher class than that. We actually booked a section of a local pool hall, catered in some food and provided the opportunity for staff to obtain extras at their own cost, should they choose. The only caveat is it happened during the afternoon when many staff felt their time would be better served getting work done as opposed to hobnobbing over a pool cue. Although I can somewhat agree with this sentiment, I also feel that one needs to appreciate the opportunity to let one‘‘S hair down for a few hours and chat with co-workers, especially about matters that aren’t work-related.

It was a good time, with good food and good people. The tables shared a lot of laughs and I had the opportunity to shoot a few games of pool with some of my staff, which was a nice change. It also ran for four hours and my team and I basically shut the event down. It was a nice change from the weekly routine, despite the fact that the work continued to accumulate in my absence. Such is life. Whether I would have gone or not, the work would have continued to accumulate, so it makes very little difference in that regard. If the work will always gather, it makes taking these little breaks all the more important.

While navigating the hectic highways of the everyday rat race, we often forget that each of us is an individual person with beliefs, interests and personalities that rarely get explored in the workplace. Staff functions can be a wonderful way to allow people to get to know each other and spend a bit of time on a social level and get to know each other. This can often allow for better and more amicable work relationships on the job. Food for thought…☯️