Category: Health & Well Being

The Most Unfortunate Coincidences…

Yesterday was an extremely difficult day for me. It usually always is, every year but for some reason, this year hit me harder than most. Maybe it’s because of all the bullshit happening in the world worth no clear sign of any of it ever ending. Who knows? While critically buried in my own grief, yesterday’s post failed to bring up a key event: It was once again time for my eye injections.

By the time that I had posted yesterday, I was well on my way to packing a bag for the two and half hour drive to Saskatoon, where I would book into my usual hotel and go get flaming hot needles jabbed directly into my eyeballs. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit… they’re not ACTUALLY flaming or hot. It usually just feels like they are. I make a big deal out of getting these injections but as Diabetic complications go, they’re not the worst. They just seem like the worst I go through because I maintain a tight control and have no other complications (yet).

My travel to Saskatoon was markedly uneventful, with my thoughts focused on the loss of my brother and the distinct irony that I had some scheduled, physical pain to pile on top of my recurring, yearly emotional pain. That irony was not lost on me as I made my way there and followed my usual routine and made my way to the hospital. The only silver lining is that despite having bumped my injections from seven weeks to eight, my vision was still clear and my eyes were free of fluid or swelling. This is good news, considering that about five or six years ago, I was attending every four weeks.

I spent my evening last night at an Irish pub, drowning my sorrows and attempting to lessen the pain in both my soul and in my eyes. I’ve woken up this morning feeling as though someone rubbed both my eyeballs with sandpaper. But my vision is clear and I have scheduled work meetings from my room before checking out and hitting the road for home. Staying healthy with Type-1 Diabetes is a difficult task. Sometimes the efforts are painful and tedious but I like to think that keeping my sight is important enough to warrant the pain and discomfort.

It was a strange coincidence that the anniversary of my brother’s death landed on the same date as my eye injections. If my doctor and I hadn’t decided to try for eight weeks, I’d have gotten the injections last week. It’s kind of like one of those strange happenings on a calendar, like this year being the only 2-2-22. But enough of my ramblings… It’s time to get on with the day. ☯️

Guilt No More…

I think it’s safe to say that Diabetes is one of those “invisible” illnesses. After all, if one were to see me walking down the street, one would never be able to KNOW that i have Diabetes. Contrary to what you may see joked about on mainstream media and in the movies, having Diabetes doesn’t unilaterally mean that one is obese, missing toes or eats too much candy and junk food. Granted there ARE some like that, but it isn’t the standard. Most people don’t see what’s happening below the surface and they don’t realize the effort and control it takes just to get through the day. Some of that has led to some extremely uncomfortable situations throughout my life.

When you reach a certain age, you start to contemplate your life. And that isn’t a bad thing. Although I’ve grown to accept and acknowledge that I live my life without regret, contemplation is a completely different thing. My life is pretty awesome; I can’t deny that. To live with any regret means that I wouldn’t want my life being what it is now, and that just wouldn’t be true. But like anyone else, I’ve made some mistakes and have hurt people along the way with the choices I’ve made. And that’s what I’ve been contemplating.

For the most part, I was a pretty stubborn kid during my teen years. This cost me a lot, when i consider friendships, relationships and even experiences. Always a bit of a loner, I went it alone and dealt with the many ups and downs that Diabetes caused without ever sharing what I was going through with anyone. That includes my parents. Given the significant lack of control I had over my blood sugars, I tended to be cold, distant and a bit of an overall asshole. I know what you may be thinking: how is that different from how I am now? Well, first of all, fuck you! Second of all, I’m going to explain…

Wildly varying blood sugars can cause all sorts of behavioural issues, including fatigue, depression, mood swings and unprovoked anger. This didn’t bode well for friendships and relationships. And wouldn’t you know it, I just HAD to be going through it during my teen years when i was trying to be a typical teen… have friends, date girls and go out and have fun. None of that was conducive to good blood sugar control. I think back to the number of times I had to bail on friends and just stay home because In felt like absolute shit due to my Diabetes.

This doesn’t even begin to cover how much of a dick I was to girls I dated (NSFW pun fully intended). My mood swings and behavioural issues due to Diabetes made for some pretty harsh treatment from me. Couple that with the typical torrential wave of teenage hormones I was subjected to that just made all of it worse. This led to some pretty in-depth guilt, which cause some of the aforementioned depression. Unlike most teenagers of my generation, I never touched drugs or alcohol. In fact, as I’ve written in previous posts, I only had my first beer when i was 23 years old. So I had to ride the guilt wave with none of the safety or floatation devices that most people have.

Even now, knowing what I know and having the control that I do, my time is better preferred sitting at home relaxing with my wife than making plans and trying to leave the house. I keep a pretty tight reign on my Diabetes nowadays and since absolutely everything tends to affect blood sugars, I also keep a tight reign on how late I stay up and how I spend time outside my house. But I no longer feel the guilt that comes with the issues I faced during my teen years. As an adult, i recognize that my life and family come first. And there can be no guilt in that. The rest of the world will simply need to understand that. ☯️

Insulinoma

Because Diabetes on its own isn’t bad enough, I recently read about something called Insulinoma. For those who may not be familiar with it, insulinomas are rare tumours that develop in the pancreas.Most medical professionals will tell you that they can’t stand to watch hospital shows because of the lack of reality but that’s actually where i heard about them. I was watching a hospital drama when the concept of insulinomas came up. I was curious enough to look it up and lo and behold! It’s a real thing… Here’s some information that I found.

According to an article posted by HealthLine.com, an insulinoma is a small tumour located on the pancreas that causes an excess of insulin production. It usually isn’t cancerous but needs to be removed before the production of excess insulin can be stopped. It can be life-threatening, since excess insulin can cause hypoglycaemia, loss of concsciousness and can mimic symptoms that if undiagnosed, can lead a person to believe they’re developing Diabetes or Epilepsy.

According to an article by one of my favourite websites, WebMD, the usual treatment is to simply remove the tumour surgically. Once this is done, the symptoms usually disappear. In some instances, they may have to excise a piece of the pancreas that has the tumour but that’s pretty rare. Getting an insulinoma is pretty rare, in fact. And in those rare instances where surgery is not an option, there are treatments to help prevent the blood sugar lows.

Every time I think I’ve learned everything there is to know about my condition and the pancreas, something new pops up. Not that this condition is relevant to me, per se… And this isn’t the most stimulating post I’ve ever made. But I can easily see how someone could mistake the symptoms of an insulinoma as contracting Diabetes. And learning something new is never a bad thing, right? ☯️

Creamy Dill Dip…

Alright, so despite the fact I often harsh on the negative aspects of social media (despite the fact I operate on several platforms), I have to give credit where credit is due. Social media can be extremely useful in reconnecting with people from your past that you DIDN’T walk away from, intentionally. Enter: several of my high school classmates. In the past year, I’ve reconnected and friended several of the people I graduated from high school with.

One of those friends shared a meal that she prepared that included salmon and a homemade, creamy dill sauce. I’m a big fan of salmon and fish in general (Hello, Maritimer over here!) so I was taken. But what also caught my attention was the dill sauce. My entire household is a fan of dill. We have dill powder for our popcorn, we use dill-flavoured dill dip with our chips and include actual dill in many of our recipes. Not least of which is the fact that we eat dill pickles. Because, dill pickles. But I digress…

My successful dip

I was curious to the point where I asked her for her recipe, which she generously provided. I’m usually a bit leery about trying new recipes as I’m no Gordon Ramsay, by any means. But the recipe was super simple and only took about ten minutes. As it was shared with me, so shall I share it with you. Here we go:

  • 1/4 cup of mayonnaise;
  • 1/4 cup of sour cream;
  • 3 tablespoons of dried dill;
  • 2 tablespoons of rice wine vinegar;
  • 1 teaspoon of dijon mustard;
  • garlic salt and pepper to taste.

Mix all those ingredients in non particular order into a small bowl, whisk until everything is combined and go to town! My friend made a point of mentioning that she doesn’t usually use actual measurements and eyeballs everything to taste. I don’t have that level of skill. One thing I will mention is that after two tablespoons of dill, I started to panic and think three would have been too much. It wouldn’t have been. It definitely could have used the added dill kick. But it was definitely delicious and I’ve used it with chips, wings and on fish. Absolutely delicious.

Like anything else someone with Type-1 Diabetes consumes, one should be mindful of portions, carbohydrate counts and proper monitoring of one’s blood sugars. But this dip is quite versatile and goes with SO many different foods. It’s definitely worth a try, if you’re looking for something new. Food for thought (pun fully intended)… ☯️

Life-Saving Modern Techniques…

I’m usually not one for paying attention to the mass plethora of ads that get thrown my way when I wander the digital super highway… If I had to stop every time a Facebook pop-up suggested I need male enhancement pills or I can meet horny matures in my area, I’d never get shit done! But once in a while, something will actually catch my attention and will motivate me to check. This is the case with this item: the LifeVac. I don’t make a point of endorsing or recommending SPECIFIC products, but once in a while I find myself making an exception.

The lifeVac is basically a CPR mask equipped with a suction device that allows someone without CPR training to release an upper-airway obstruction when traditional CPR methods don’t work. For me, it means peace of mind in the event of a choking hazard if I’m not home. Although my wife and I have both taken First Aid, mine is a bit more recent given the nature of my law enforcement work and my wife has never had to use it. This seemed like a good addition to our home’s medical supplies.

I found a Canadian website that would allow me to order the LifeVac and have it shipped to me in Saskatchewan. They had a variety of packages including one device or multiple, and even a hard shell plastic case one can mount to a wall for easy access; a bit like mounting a fire extinguisher. Although a bit on the pricey side, there’s no value to the potential life of a beloved family member. I ordered a “home kit,” which includes one device, an adult mask, a child mask, a practice mask (whatever the fuck THAT means) and instructions.

I got my package and opened it up with barely contained excitement. true to it’s advertisements, the device had a one-way valve that prevents air being pushed INTO the victim when pressing down. It provides a significant amount of suction that’s meant to dislodge and bring up whatever may be obstructing the upper airway. It requires no strength, training or effort but could potentially save a life. I love it. LOVE IT!!!

Ignore my double chins…

I think we can all agree that unless one has taken some specific training and are willing to use it, most people will succumb to the unfortunate phenomena where they sit there and watch when someone needs help. Some of that can be alleviated with a device that takes out the majority of the guess work. I’ve never been so excited about something I hope NEVER to use… If you’re a Canadian resident and are interested into looking into them, you can find them on LifeVac’s Canadian website here. ☯️

Not All Paranoia Is Healthy…

If you want to properly piss off a medical professional, try telling them you checked something about your health online. Seriously, give it a try sometime when you’re discussing your health with a doctor. Even the more seasoned and controlled professionals will usually give you a look of disgusted disdain as you bring up symptoms, treatments or anything else that you may have found on the internet. Ah, the ol’ “Dr. Google!”

One good example I can provide is many years ago during my management days, where I felt absolutely floored all the time, regardless of how much sleep I got or my overall diet. I had gone to a couple of doctors who usually just diagnosed me with being tired and pushing myself too much and giving me a note excusing me from work for a few days. Not only was this pissing off my employer, it wasn’t working. So, I decided to check my symptoms online.

Basically, when I looked at what I was experiencing, I was always tired and sore, even when I had slept all night but even when I slept, it was fitful and rarely attributed to bad blood sugars. This would leave me with the feeling like I had recovered from a bad cold and I had difficulty concentrating. When I combined all of these things online, I was shown something called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I remember bringing this up to the next doctor I saw, who actually got ANGRY with me because I dared to suggest something she hadn’t thought of.

I would think that a wise person would want to examine ALL the possibilities but apparently I was wrong. But the point of today’s post isn’t about doctors disliking Dr. Google… I’ve written about that before. The point is being wary of what you find online and what actions you take in accordance with those findings. In my story above, the outcome was that I DIDN’T have chronic fatigue. Dr. Google was wrong.

Many would argue that there’s nothing wrong with doing a bit of research in order to ascertain why something may be happening in your body. Prior to the early 1990’s, that was usually limited to accessing medical books at the library or going to the actual doctor’s office. Of course back then, getting in to the doctor’s office was far easier and faster than it is now. But these days, individuals literally have access to the world’s information at their fingertips. This can be a great asset. It can also be incredibly dangerous.

The danger comes from how an individual chooses to interpret the information they receive. For example, if you went online and searched for something with symptoms including pain and numbness in the left arm, you would no doubt be directed to pages describing a heart attack. This won’t necessarily mean you’re having a heart attack but you can see how one can become paranoid of their actual physical condition when reading all of these things.

The important thing to remember is that although there’s nothing inherently wrong with trying to find some information online and even discussing it with your doctor (whether they like it or not), one mustn’t let paranoia set in and believe that they may be afflicted with something they don’t actually have. Online information is great and you’re kidding yourself if you think doctors aren’t searching online in certain respects as well. But medical professionals are the only ones who should be interpreting that information and assessing your health. Don’t let paranoia get to you; you don’t have everything you find online. ☯️

A Little Positivity Never Hurt Anyone…

Some of my posts in recent weeks have been pretty negative and morose, considering some personal matters that have been happening in my life. That’s why I felt that when there was something positive I could write about (including my post about the Batman from last Tuesday) I should make a point of seeing it happen. This is where my story about last weekend comes in…

My wife and I are typically homebodies, preferring to stay at home and watch a streaming service or game on our devices than venture out into the outside world. Most of this is by virtue of the colder weather keeping us indoors as neither of us is a fan of the cold. But the recent milder weather and temperatures reaching into the positive has seen us walk outside into the sunshine more than usual.

Last Friday was a bit of a crap shoot, considering you may have read about what happened to my son Nathan in yesterday’s post. I left work on Friday morning and brought him to the doctor’s office for an eye infection. By the time I got home and actually sat in front of my computer, my work day was almost done. My evening saw me playing with my kids and sitting to watch some television with my wife. Not a bad way to spend the evening and pretty typical of what we do.

That’s when my wife suggested we go to the movies. This was pretty exciting for me, because I had been wanting to see the Batman. We chose a 4 pm viewing, since it was a 3-hour movie and we didn’t want to get home at a ridiculously late hour. We spent the morning cleaning the house as a family with all the windows open, allowing the cool air to circulate through the house. Once the house was all clean, I pre-ordered a pizza for the boys and the babysitter, which would arrived around 4:30 pm while we were gone.

We made our way to the theatre and enjoyed some Chucky Cheese style games, including shooting hoops and playing air hockey. Turns out my wife is a little hellcat at air hockey and kicked my ass twice. We watched the movie, which I reviewed in a previous post. So I won’t get into it. After the movie, we went to an eatery that specializes in poutines and ordered a couple of large bad boys, which we brought home to consume in front of the television.

The boys in bed and our poutines in front of us, we ate until we were ready to fall into a carb-induced Conan and went to bed. It was a fantastic night and loads of fun. So much fun that we decided that we would bring the boys to the theatre to use our remaining game tokens the following day. We had a good handful but I brought an extra 10-dollar bill in order to ensure everyone got to try some of the games.

On Sunday morning, I checked for the theatres hours of operation, which were erroneously shown as being 11:30 am. We left the house and ran a couple of errands before making our way to the theatre and parking about ten minutes before the time they were SUPPOSED to open. It was only then that we found out that they don’t open until noon. Thanks a bunch, fuckers! You know how easy it is to get a screaming toddler back into his car seat when he’s finally been released? Not easy at all…

We took a drive and came back at noon and everyone had a blast. Some mild issues with losing tokens in one of the air hockey tables was quickly rectified by a staff member who compensated us with some extra tokens. Nathan and Alex had a blast. You know a toddler has had some fun when he breaks down crying at the prospect of leaving. We got home and enjoyed some family nap time before having supper. Then, since it was Sunday night and our week was about to begin anew, it was baths and showers all around before getting the boys to bed.

My wife and I capped off our night by watching Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure of all things. Definitely a fantastic weekend and loads of fun was had. I know that with everything going on in the world right now, it can sometimes be hard to remember that happiness still exists. But our household definitely recognized that fact, this weekend. I don’t have any photos or documentation of our excursions. Wanna know why? Because I was too damned busy having fun to take photos. Now if only this mild weather could hold and keep melting the snow, I might be able to get my bike out… ☯️

Kids Do The Darndest Things…

Last Thursday, my son Nathan was at the door getting ready for school. This usually takes place when I’ve already been at work for over an hour, so I generally don’t see his routine. But since Nathan is Nathan, his tendency is to grab his jacket and ski pants off the hanger by pulling down on them. Despite the fact that this usually works out fine for him, this occasion saw the elastic shoulder straps of his ski pants cause the plastic hanger to whip forward and strike him in the face. As is usual when he does something that he ASSUMES will get him in trouble, he told us nothing.

That night, we noticed that his right eyelid was a little bit red and this is where he revealed what had happened that morning. He claimed it didn’t hurt or sting and his vision was fine. I sighed and shook my head at his lack of self-care when walking through his daily routine and let it go. Since he appeared none worse for the wear, I assumed the redness was a result of getting smacked in the face and that was that. When I tucked him in that night, his eyelid was red but still looked normal and he still claimed no pain or stinging.

The next morning on the Friday, I woke up at my usual time (despite having set my alarm for half an hour later) and prepped mine and Nathan’s lunch. Since it was Friday, I opted for a pair of jeans and a casual top to wear with a sports coat while at the office. I left the house, sipping caffeine and glad to have reached the end of the week. I started my work day with ideas of how I would spend my weekend rolling through my head. I was deeply into one of the projects I was working on when my wife sends me this photo…

Apparently sometime during the night, his eyelid went from mildly red to something out of a bad 80’s horror flick where a parasite is setting up shop beneath the surface of the skin. He had been up for almost an hour and chose twenty minutes before his departure to grace his mother with his presence and reveal the look of his face. He still claimed it didn’t hurt or sting but obviously, this would be pause for concern for any parent.

I made the decision that we shouldn’t wait and that it should get looked at immediately. I asked my wife to contact the school and let them know Nathan wouldn’t be in, this morning. I contacted my boss and let him know the situation and I packed up my work gear for the weekend and came home. I grabbed Nathan and we headed to his doctor’s office. It was about a 45-minute wait and it took all of about ten of those minutes for Nathan to start complaining he was bored. If not for the swollen eyelid, one would assume there was absolutely nothing wrong.

When we finally got in to see the doctor, although there was no pain and no loss of vision, the doctor determined that his eyelid was infected. I asked how this could be possible from being struck and he explained that if the hanger had bacteria or was dirty, it could have easily caused an infection. He prescribed an antibiotic that would need to be taken over about a week. Luckily, it’s a liquid and apparently tastes quite nice, so he’s totally game to take it. He tried his damndest to convince me he didn’t need to go back to school. He failed.

It seems as though his eyelid is getting better. But there’s no doubt that kids have this way of eating up several hours of the day for just about anything. To hear him tell it, you’d think there was nothing wrong and he was perfectly willing to head off to school, looking like that. But just look at that photo… He says it didn’t hurt but it hurts ME just looking at it! Kids! The adventure never ends. ☯️

Fear of Failure Is Fear Of Life…

It’s no secret that we make our way through life by a very twisted, convoluted road. And there are plenty of bumps along that road, no matter who you are or the environment you grow up in. But making mistakes can be a good thing. During childhood, these mistakes are seen as “life lessons.” It isn’t until we get older and creep our way into adulthood, do people start to call them “mistakes.” And I think there’s an inherent problem with this view. Although we learn valuable life lessons as children, such as not sticking a fork into a wall socket a second time (no, I’m not speaking from experience), the mistakes we make during adulthood can be valuable and teach us important lessons as well.

People are generally afraid of failing at anything they take on in life. There are many reasons for this, including the potential disappointment of others, one’s family, friends or peers. There’s also the fear that failing at something may cost one more than one is willing to bear. The big problem with viewing the world through this lens is twofold; fear of such failure will leave you stuck in a place you may not want to be and you’ll never experience growth UNLESS you first experience failure. There’s nothing worse than looking back at one’s life and recognizing that you’re stuck in the very same place you’ve always been and have learned nothing.

“Experience Is The Hardest Kind Of Teacher. It Gives You The Test First And The Lesson Afterward.”

– Oscar Wilde

Ultimately, what’s important is the attempt. If you work hard at something, build goals and try and develop yourself and your life but still fail, it’s not a loss. Life has a way of teaching us through our mistakes so that we gain experience, which we wouldn’t if life was smooth sailing without encountering any waves. An apt analogy for a Maritimer, I think! But I digress… The point is that when mistakes are made and losses occur, you can’t change them. You can’t undo them. You can only learn from them and move forward and ensure you don’t repeat these mistakes.

Mistakes are how we learn. If you lose a job, fail a test or exam, injure yourself or hurt someone you care about, it can all hold value so long as you’re willing to learn from it and ensure you don’t repeat the same mistakes. It isn’t rocket science. I’m not spouting off anything new. It’s simply a matter of recognizing that value. You’ll be better for it. And life will become all that much better. ☯️

Silver Linings For My Dark Clouds…

Despite all the sad, morbid topics I’ve covered in recent days, last week was that time again; I had a scheduled appointment with my endocrinologist. It seemed like September wasn’t that long ago but here we are, six months later! You may recall my post from a couple of weeks ago complaining about the wait times at blood labs and such… This appointment is the result of that blood work.

Visiting my endocrinologist is usually a mixed bag for me. Although eternally grateful for introducing me to the concept of carb counting and getting me on an insulin pump, my doctor is also the one who provides the results and discusses concerns surrounding all things Diabetic. So I never quite know what I might be in for.

One big issue is the uploading of my pump. The doctor’s office requires the uploading of my insulin pump into a database that they can access. Even though this should be a pretty straightforward thing to do, I almost always seem to have issues when I try. So this time, I got smart and uploaded the pump a week prior to my appointment in the event I had issues I had to work through. I was going to upload again the night before until I realized I had foolishly left my link meter at my office, which I required in order to tether the pump to my computer.

I figured, no harm, no fouls, right? Wrong. I was quickly told to surrender my pump so that the admin could upload the last week of readings. I found this a bit tedious since they already had six months of readings. How much of a difference could the past seven days make? Que sera, I was on their time so I turned it over. Maybe I’m just bitter because she also weighed me and announced I had gained two pounds. But I digress…

The past six months have been a bit rough for me, with losing out on one karate school, which messed up my fitness routine, to losing coverage for CGM, which messed up my blood sugar routine, to starting a new karate school, which messed up my fitness routine to getting back on CGM, which will hopefully fix many of my readings… See where I’m goin’ with this? Basically, i knew my blood sugars would be all over the place with some rather significant highs to explain.

When my doctor walked in, we discussed all these issues and he indicated it explained a lot in terms of what my readings showed. He was glad I was taking steps to fix things but he also made a point of saying that despite some of the high readings, I managed to hold my A1C at a reasonable level of 7.3, which is down from a higher reading back in September. I was pleasantly surprised.

He added some further sweetness to a not-so-bitter pill by showing me how my renal function was back to normal, blood pressure was normal, blood circulation and neurological systems were good and I apparently still have the heart of a horse (and no, I don’t mean enlarged, wise ass!). The only caveat to all the good news is that my potassium, of all things, appears to be slightly higher than normal, which will be fixed with a temporary water pill and some changes to my overall diet. I can live with that.

By the time we had reached the end of my appointment, my doctor once again called me one of his most boring patients, since I presented no challenge. He further went on to explain that if I continued on the path I was walking in terms of maintaining Diabetes control, when the time came that died, I would be one of his only patients to die WITH Diabetes instead of dying BECAUSE of Diabetes. I may just get that tattooed on my lower back…

Did I mention that my cholesterol is also down by a full point? I’m sure there’s more but I was basically gushing from the positivity so much that I think I missed some of it. In a current world where there’s so much wrong and suffering, it was nice to have some positivity for a change. AND it justifies all the hard work I put in, maintaining my blood sugars and my fitness. This is something we can all do. One your organs fail or you’re on death’s bed, it’s too late. Better to start improving now so you can appreciate the results later. Food for thought…☯️