Life’s Too Short…

One of the big things that I think we can all agree on, is that life is pretty short. I’m sure there are those that feel life drags on, but that isn’t what today’s post is about. The point is, no matter what your background or personal beliefs, no one truly knows what happens after the end of this life nor can we speak clearly with those who have gone on to experience whatever comes next. For that reason, it’s important to recognize that we need to enjoy and experience all the positive things life has to offer while we’re here. Life is too short for regrets.

I’ve often written about how I have no regrets and that remains true. After all, every decision and every life choice, good or bad, has brought me to who I am today. And I’m pretty fuckin’ pleased with myself (at least that’s what my family tells me). But seriously, I’m very happy with who I am as a person and I have to acknowledge that my specific path brought me here, so how could I regret it? Depending on where you are in life, I don’t think it’s so much an idea of regret as it is a matter of working towards making life better. This applies especially, when it comes to one’s employment.

Nowadays, a job isn’t a luxury, it’s a requirement. The unfortunate reality is that money is needed to live a standard life. Even the mor3 creative folks who decide to live “off grid” will need some form of currency in order to obtain the materials and equipment they need to take themselves off grid. Money is the unfortunate common denominator that joins all the worlds problems and solutions, and a job is typically the only way to come by it honestly.

I’ve had a LOT of jobs in my life, starting with being a “card collector” for my local church’s Thursday evening bingo games. Between each game, I would walk the rows and collect all the used and dabbed bingo cards to make room for the fresh ones. What a gargantuan waste of paper! I wonder if they still play that way? Anyhoo, it paid $5 for the evening and usually after a month, I had enough to buy whatever monthly editions of comics I wanted with a couple of dollars leftover. Ah, the good ol’ days…

It was a decent gig for the time and my age but I’ll confess that not all jobs were like that. I remember working in the call intake centre for a well-known courier. The job paid phenomenally but I made the mistake of starting it over the holiday season. As a result, I was getting all the panicky, frustrated people who wanted their packages delivered in an unrealistic timeline because it had to reach certain destinations by Christmas. The stress and anxiety that job caused still makes me wonder how that place kept any staff.

Although it paid very well and I was living my best life at the time, I was absolutely miserable. The very thought of going into work had my stomach in such a knot that I didn’t have a healthy bathroom trip for months. You’re welcome, for sharing that last detail. I was only at the beginning of this career path but I could already tell it wouldn’t be for me and wouldn’t bring me joy, despite the amount of money I was bringing in.

By contrast, my years as a police officer were fantastic. I was happy. I was protecting people and saving lives. I was fulfilled, satisfied and pleased with the direction my life was taking. And once I had been on that career path for a number of years, I was making a salary that allowed me to live comfortably. I wasn’t rich, by any stretch of the imagination. After all, the old saying about “honest cop’s salary” is no joke. By I wasn’t on street eating canned beans. And I got to do what I loved.

The ultimate point to this post is twofold. On the one hand, it won’t be the money that makes you happy. Although you need to consider your family and finances in order to ensure you remain whole, it’s important that you be happy in what you do. And if you ARE, the money won’t be so important. But you need to be realistic about what you want and how you’re doing it, all while being cognizant not to make brash choices that COULD affect your family and home life.

On the other hand, while it’s important not to rush off and abandon a job that may not be a fit for you, the big thing as well is not to contribute to making it a toxic environment. I’m currently aware of people within my environment that do very little than bad-talk and spread negative misinformation on the job. They’re still quite good at what they do but they won’t stop bitching about it. If you’ve reached that point, not only do you need to step away and leave that job behind for yourself but also for the other employees that have to sit there and hear your negativity.

Folks, life is too short. It’s important to do something you love. Or at the very least, something you can enjoy. Money isn’t everything and if you’ve worked hard to get to where you are, you should enjoy the ride. Do what you love and you’ll technically never work a day in your life. And that’s the secret to happiness; find the path that suits you, know what you’re worth and drive towards that. Keeping in mind that if your family depends on you, you don’t have the option of living out of a suitcase while you figure it out. I did say life is short, after all. Food for thought… ☯️

A Chosen Path…

Life rarely cares about one’s plans. Light knows that this is something I’ve said in more posts than I can count. And it’s true; life will carry on no matter what steps we take and what path we choose. The thing is, even a chosen path will eventually diverge and split off, leading to consequences and outcomes that we may not want or couldn’t have foreseen. This isn’t always a good thing but it’ll rarely be a negative thing, since one can always make the best of any situation, good or bad. Depending on the choices we make and the decisions we take, it can often seem as though we should simply let go and move onto something else. But the reality is that nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight.

Life doesn’t make it easy to choose a path. After all, life in general will seek to take the path of least resistance by throwing that resistance at us. And as human beings, we’re no different. Sometimes, when things become difficult or we don’t see the outcome we thought we’d necessarily get it can seem easy to lay down one’s sword and surrender. We almost always seek to take the path of least resistance unless we can clearly see a desired outcome. But it isn’t until one has fought through the difficulty that one can hope to reach that desired outcome. It will assuredly never happen on its own.

The important thing to remember is that if one commits to something and work hard to achieve it, one must see it through. Whether one succeeds or fails will depend on the effort one uses but here’s the key lesson… If you try, you may succeed or you may fail. If you don’t try, you’re guaranteed to fail. And depending on what time and resources you’ve spent in order to try, it may cost far more to give up and than it would to push through, even if it isn’t al sunshine and rainbows. I learned that the hard way.

This concept can apply to all things in life. Work, fitness goals, relationship goals or plans for one’s direction in life. Keeping an eye on the prize, as it were, is the only way to ensure the elimination of unnecessary suffering in one’s life and ensure some level or degree of success. As the old saying goes, “work smarter, not harder.” Food for thought… ☯️

Food For Thought…

I often end my posts with the line in the title, and for good reason. Although my posts are mostly aimed at providing information about Diabetes, martial arts, health & fitness or the Buddha Dharma, I often provide my insight and opinion on various topics, as well. Which is all well and good. But as I often write, one’s opinion is simply that: an opinion. Opinions are particular because they often come unsolicited and unasked but can lead to important information and knowledge that the recipient may not have thought of.

The important thing to remember is that as the provider, if you offer your opinion you should be ready and willing to acknowledge that it may not be well-received or appreciated. If you’re the recipient, you should recognize that your opinion may not always be wanted and may not be recognized, regardless of how informed and knowledgeable you may be on the topic at hand. That’s why I was pleasantly surprised when an old friend of mine posted a photo on his timeline that spoke to me. I’m not sure where he got it and no, I won’t be asking because I don’t need to open that door, but here’s the photo…

This meme speak to me. Minus the first and last sentiment… I believe that a fact can still involve emotion, depending on what you’re speaking about. The last sentiment is somewhat particular, because I believe that as a society, we use the term “stupidity” far more liberally than we should. Ignoring facts makes you uninformed, not stupid. Stupidity is repeating a same action over and over and expecting a different result. That, and thinking that your opinion IS fact. Or continuing with the same opinion despite being educated on the facts. But I digress…

Not all of my posts can be in depth and substantial. Sometimes, I just need to share something that speaks to me. Like this meme does. Food for thought…☯️

Cowardly, Or Smart?

I think that at some point, we’ve all had someone who has done us wrong in the course of our life. In some cases, the wrong was severe enough to alter the very course of our existence and make us wonder what, if anything, we’d do if we had this person standing in front of us and we had the opportunity to do something. I had such an opportunity, last week. And I found myself contemplating my next move. Several scenarios played out in my head as I calculated potential outcomes and whether they were ultimately worth it or not. Ultimately, I walked away before this person could even see me. Cowardly, or smart?

Picture this: you’re questioned and asked about something that you deny. The questioner tells you it’s done there and they won’t take it further. And then they do. What follows is almost three years of a hellish version of what you recognize as life while you try and put the pieces back together. You walk away and reassemble the pieces to forge a new identity for yourself. You give up who you were; not just a job but the very fabric of your existence and who you saw yourself as. The result is a temporary slip in a world of smoke and alcohol, surviving rather than living. You watch, as the world takes apart the very profession you grew to love and thought defined you.

And all of sudden, out of the blue and on a random day when you were expecting anything but, you see the person who started it all. And this person, the one who crippled your previous career, harmed your family life and endangered the future of your children is just walking along casually, enjoying their day and making the most of some down time. You stand there, frozen, contemplating what you should do next. Should you approach and finally say your peace? Perhaps show that you came out stronger and better than when you went in? I finally snapped out of it, long enough to walk away…

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. I don’t need this person to know that I’ve carried on. I don’t need them to know that I’ve evolved and have gone on to do better things. I know I have and my family knows I have, and that’s really all I need in order to find my peace. Anger, hatred, bitterness… These are the things that bring further suffering in one’s life and in case some of y”all haven’t been reading my stuff in recent years, the elimination of suffering is kind of my jam. At some point, we need to learnt o let go of the pain and difficulties we’ve faced, especially if we’ve fought our way through and came out better. I often wondered what would happened if I faced this person and now I know. There isn’t a cowardly bone in my body. I simply realize that they aren’t worth my time and thoughts. ☯️

The Older I Get…

Life has a strange way of making one ride a very particular curve. When we’re young, we get to experience a lot of really exciting firsts… It all starts with one’s first steps, first words and first using the potty (you know who you are!). As one gets older, a batch of new firsts blesses one’s life; first time driving a car, first time kissing a girl, first time getting a paid job. For some, we could even include the first time enjoying a cold beer, first time living on one’s own and first time taking steps towards adulthood. But as we reach adulthood, we hit a lull in that curve that has all the firsts come to an end and life begins to cash out the debt.

“The Older I Get, The More Things I Gotta Leave Behind. That’s Life.”

– Rocky Balboa

As we get older, all of those firsts begin to seem like a distant memory in the rearview mirror. In fact, everything seems to fade to black; old friends become old memories, all those exciting firsts step aside for the realities of life. We even reach the point where loved ones begin to leave us behind for whatever comes next. Y’all know what I’m talking about. It can be a difficult part of life to navigate, especially if one isn’t prepared or it. it can make life seem pretty bleak and leave one wondering what the point of it all may be.

In the past couple of years, life has hit everybody pretty hard. The pandemic changed everybody, and even the ones who don’t seem to believe it changed everyone were affected. For myself, significant life-altering decisions have been made in the past two years; choices I likely wouldn’t have made if the pandemic hadn’t come along. Since I’ve written about some of those changes ad nauseam and this post isn’t about that, i won’t get into those changes but rather, I’ll focus on the changes I’ve seen most recently.

Back at the beginning of August, I travelled out east to visit my folks. Although I should have been greeted the way I have for the past four decades, with a family pleased to see me, I was met with silence. With most trips involving so many back-to-back visits with friends and family that i barely had time to breathe, I came home to family with no time and the ones who did, made no time for me even when they could. And that was WITH my two adorable children, my wife and my mother in law adding to the pleasant ambiance.

It was a strange change to the dynamic of my life. I think that to some extent, my family and friends back home were always a bit of a safety net. Somehow, I could make my way through life and accomplish my goals with the knowledge that even though we had thousands of kilometres between us, they were a universal constant that brought balance to the universe. The most recent incident where for the first time in almost 40 years, Sensei made no time for me over the few days I was home was the nail that drive the message home. And home became the operative word, since the east coast was no longer a place that I could as such.

For the better part of a month, I’ve made my peace with the possibility that I’m just being a little over-sensitive about the entire thing. But I recently realized that it isn’t a matter of over-sensitivity; it’s simply the natural progression of life. I think there’s an old saying about repeating the same actions over and over but expecting a different result. Life doesn’t remain the same and only a fool would assume that there will never any change. The key is to accept those changes and see them for what they are; a different branch in the path of one’s overall journey.

When one takes the time to open one’s eyes and take a look around, there are plenty of firsts remaining to be had. My children will go through all of the joy and firsts in life that I did and I get to be there for it. The only difference is that I get the additional happiness of seeing the joy in their eyes as they experience it all for the first time. It isn’t about what one has lost. It’s about working towards what can still be lived. And experienced. Food for thought… ☯️

Information Overload

It seems as though the world is slowly going to hell and is doing so in a very poorly constructed hand basket. Or at least it APPEARS that is is… I know that recent events right here in Saskatchewan have had a ripple effect on the population and have woken some folks up to the fact that even the “quiet” corners of the country have their fair share of noise, if there really is any such thing as a “quiet” part of the world….

The state of the world can often seem overwhelming, especially to those who spend the majority of their time online or following the news. Although I would be the last person to ever suggest simply nurturing one’s head in the sand, I think it’s worth noting that the entire world’s information is available at the average person’s fingertips, unlike a couple of decades ago where you would depend on your local news to deliver the majority of major happening to you.

And let’s be clear; unless that major happening was in fact, major and directly impacted the area where the news was being broadcast, it would often go unheard. These days, a remote village in a country thousands of miles away may make your news feed and deliver information about what’s happening in their neck of the woods. For the most part, I think most people would agree that this is a good thing and the younger generations certainly don’t know any better.

But despite public opinion, how good is it ACTUALLY that all of this information is freely and readily available at the world’s fingertips? I’m sure the high school student who needs to write a paper about some arcane and little-known philosopher from centuries ago considers Wikipedia to be a blessing and a god-send but I mostly mean in general. People are more connected than ever before, weighing in on issues that just a number of years ago, they would never even have heard of.

For the most part, there’s nothing wrong with the receipt and absorbing of information. The trick is to have the understanding that not all pieces of information should consume your attention, ad nauseam. If I were to give an example, a good one would be the current military conflicts taking place overseas. The world is shocked and appalled that this is happening, as well they should be. The availability of all this information has made that conflict a public matter. But it might surprise many t know that there have been over a hundred conflicts of this nature in the world since the end of World War II; they’ve simply never heard about them.

The advent and growth of the online environment has led to people becoming more brazen and often inappropriate in their interactions with other people. After all, how easy is it to mouth off to someone through a computer monitor as opposed to in person? The online environment has also caused a majority of the population to become armchair experts in law enforcement, medical professions and politics. Light help the world…

As with all things in life, nothing is inherently bad or good. It’s how we choose to absorb and use what we’re given that defines how it’s perceived and accepted. The world has never changed. There has always been crime, controversy, famine, war, poverty and medical epidemics. We simply have the benefit of knowing it all immediately as opposed to reading it in the history books. I don’t know if the world is going to hell or not but I’m thinking we may have been in the hand basket longer than we previously assumed. Food for thought… ☯️

Sounds To Soothe The Savage Heart…

Music has a way of altering one’s mood, temperament and overall situation. After all, how many times have you had a bad day where a catchy song started playing on the radio and you either started grooving to it, singing to it or both? Before you knew it, your mood had drastically improved and the issue that frustrated you no longer seemed quite as bad. This actually happens far more than we know, which is why relaxation music can be beneficial in helping you unwind during a massage or in an elevator. And I’ve often written about the benefits of white noise and its varieties, signalling that sound in general has the ability to alter a person’s mood and overall health.

So just imagine the kind of effect you can have if you actually play the music yourself? If listening to a certain song can alter your mood, imagine the kind of effect you can have if you create and play the music yourself, using an instrument of your choice. Honestly, I think we’ve all suffered through the cheap-ass music lessons we all received in elementary school. Although the basic lessons were sound and would ACTUALLY lead to an honest to goodness knowledge of music, none of us cared and none of us wanted to play “Mary had a little lamb” on a fucking recorder! That’s a flute, for those of you who may not know. Are music lessons in school even still a thing?

One of the only existing photos of me, playing the guitar sometime in 2005

Personally, I’ve always been partial to the violin. Classical music has always held an important place in my heart and I absolutely LOVE the sound of a symphony orchestra. The violin always seemed like a reasonable option to me, since it’s portable enough to bring anywhere but beautiful enough to be appreciated by all. Given that I grew up in a small town in northern new Brunswick, the availability of solid music lessons were scarce. Getting my parents’ help in that endeavour was unlikely since they were little busy keeping my brother and I alive through our various illnesses.

I mean, I had to keep my karate lessons a secret for a number of years, for fuck sakes. Granted, violin lessons may have elicited less of a reaction out of them. But the bottom line is that I was limited to only listening to music. That is, until autumn of 1995… I had a shitty, red 1987 Toyota Tercel hatchback, which I purchased myself. I was driving down the side of the mountain where my high school was located when I came upon someone walking down the hill. It turned out to be Guillaume, Sensei’s son. I came to a stop and picked him up and he asked if I’d be willing to drive him to Bathurst to pick up guitar strings.

My “ax,” which was bought for me by my loving wife.

I was curious and hadn’t yet ventured to far out of my home town in my car so I was more than willing to drive him. When we reached the music shop in Bathurst, it felt like I fell into a musical slice of heaven. I could smell the fresh wood of the instruments, the tinny brass from the wind instruments and the overall muted quality of the walls inside the shop. There were dozens of guitars, acoustic and electric alike. I was in awe. Guillaume saw the look on my face and asked if I knew how to play. My response would end up shaping the proceeding years of my life…

We made our way back to his house, where we sat in a tiny entrance alcove that the family didn’t use. In it, he had his electric guitar, his amplifier, his acoustic guitar and music books, as well as a small stool that he sat on. He dragged in a second stool for me and he explained that he would teach me the basics of guitar playing if I agreed to listen to him and follow his direction with the same level of discipline as I did his father when learning karate. Funny guy, that Guillaume. he did teach me all my basic chords, which in turn allowed me to play some very basic tunes and songs. I had started my musical journey.

My late Aunt Iris’ acoustic guitar, which she gifted me on one of my last visits

Over the decades, I’ve owned over a dozen guitars of varying models and types, including an Epiphone Les Paul Special Edition, Epiphone PR-350 and even an Epiphone SG Standard. yes, I have a bit of a crush on Epiphones. What can I say? I have a type. The PR-350 was by far my favourite acoustic, sound-wise, and got the most mileage before I sold it due to bad life decisions. But the acoustic pictured above is near and dear to my heart. Back in early 2013, I travelled from Kindersley, Saskatchewan to Edmonton, Alberta to visit my Aunt Iris. I hadn’t seen her in almost twenty years.

I was in Edmonton overnight and while I was visiting with my aunt, she showed me her guitar. I tuned it up and played a few bars, which apparently made an impression on her. I returned to my hotel room that night and picked her up for lunch the following day. After lunch, we returned to her apartment and discussed the elephant in the room; she had cancer and it was terminal. She convinced me to take the guitar and make use of it, whether that meant to play it or sell it. I agreed to take it on one condition: she had to sign her name on the back so that it could never be sold and would forever stay in our family. She agreed…

My Aunt’s signature…

I don’t play guitar nearly as much as I would like, nowadays. Of course, trying to play something that’s as delicate and tuned as an acoustic guitar around young children is problematic at best. I remember nights of jamming out tune after tune with some of my friends… Good times. The memories are still there, though. pretty sure I still have a video of me playing with my friend Aaron, towards the beginning of the early 2000’s. I wish I had some way of uploading that footage, it would be amazing to share.

Music has the power to heal. It has the power to add a little something to one’s overall life. playing music can provide that, tenfold. Do I still dream of playing the violin? You fuckin’ right, I do. is it too late? Maybe. The ability to learn an intricate new skill at my age is unlikely but not impossible. Either way, I’ll always have those chilly nights by a fire on the beach, a sudden jam session in a bowling alley between games and the pleasure of learning a new song that I didn’t assume that I would. I’ve always focused on martial arts, because I always believed music couldn’t save my life. or could it? Food for thought… ☯️

Hotly Debated, Universally Hated…

If there’s one thing I can say is universally hated by people, it’s bullies. Bullies have gotten the full-court press in movies, television shows and various media platforms, usually with the protagonist somehow “winning the day” in a very David a& Goliath kind of way and putting the bully in his (or her) place. It’s the kind of scenario that gives most people a warm, fuzzy feeling of justice being served and seeing karma in action. However, bullying scenarios in real life very rarely play out this way.

In school, I was bullied. And I don’t mean the run-of-the-mill snowflake definition of bullying that we often see these days. I mean several members of my school’s hockey team cornering me and taking turns throwing shots into my rib cage until I was curled in a ball on the floor crying. I got some of the former, as well but for the most part, it was mostly the latter. Classrooms were mostly safe, with the operative word being “mostly,” but I would usually hustle to my locker and back with a constant eye over my shoulder.

Arriving and leaving from school would require stealth on my part so that I wouldn’t be spotted by one of the many aggressors. Don’t even get me started on what began happening when I purchased my first car and started driving it to school. It made it difficult to genuinely focus on my studies and schooling and I often wonder how much better my grades would have been and what doors that could have unlocked for me, had I been permitted to study, unhindered. But I digress…

I know some of my close friends from my youth were subjected to bullying, as well. I never really understood the WHY behind it. It always seemed as though it lacked a certain logic or reasoning. After all, bullying really serves no practical purpose. In order to understand the WHY, let’s start by being very clear on what a bully actually is. A bully is someone who tries to harm, intimidate or coerce someone they perceive as being weaker than them.

In my experience, and I unfortunately have a significant amount of it, bullies will usually attack their victims for a few key reasons:

1. They’re going through something themselves and are lashing out against their victims because it’s a situation they can’t control. this can include being bullied themselves or suffering abuse at home;
2. They think it makes them look cool. Humans are pack animals and the societal hierarchy can sometimes be difficult to navigate for people. If you find yourself in a group that will revere you for pushing around someone else, some would see that as an opportunity;
3. There’s something about their victim that they revere, themselves. It can be hard seeing someone else in a situation you feel that you’d rather be in. Maybe their household is better off, financially. Maybe they have more friends, have someone they’re dating… Who knows? This can lead some bullies to feel that they need to lash out because of those factors.

No matter what the reason, the firm agreement that I think we should all have is that there is no valid reason for one person to bully another. It can be frustrating, especially when such a thing is happening to our children. I say it that way because, believe it or not, there is a significant amount of bullying that occurs within the adult realm, as well. Although some movies and shows would suggest the best route is to simply pop the main bully once and everyone will leave you alone, this is very rarely the case.

Given the current state of society, there’s a much more significant spotlight on bullying and its effects than there was during my generation. The bottom line is that if someone is being bullied, they should come forward and talk about it. Although there can often be a feeling of embarrassment, it’s important to recognize that everyone is deserving of a harassment-free environment and we all need help, sometimes, to achieve that goal. Whether that means discussing with one’s parents or teachers if you’re a minor or speaking with law enforcement or hopefully the individuals themselves, if you’re an adult.

The unfortunate reality is that there have ALWAYS been bullies. Despite new laws and society’s focus on the topic, there’s no sign of that going away anytime soon. It’s how we choose to deal with it and rectify the situation that defines us as a people. And to all the bullies out there, shame on you! There’s enough suffering in the world without you adding to it. Find some other release valve for your negative emotions and leave others in peace. You may be fortunate enough to find a little slice of peace yourself, if you do… ☯️

What Would You Say To Your Younger Self?

Regret and self-doubt are insidious things and can cause a ridiculous level of unnecessary suffering in one’s own life. That’s why it is SO important to accept life as it’s been presented to you without the concept of regret in your heart and mind. Now bear in mind, I’m not suggesting you just lay back and let whatever happens direct your life. If you want to see change, you need to make change. But my point is that every choice, decision and incident (good or bad) that’s happened in your life has brought you to the here and now and has minded you into the person you are today.

Unless you’re a complete piece of shit, it should be difficult or impossible to regret the steps in your life that have brought you to your current state. From there, it should be a completely separate battle to forge your CURRENT existence into something other than what it is, if you so choose. That’s why I get some serious entertainment from the many social media posts I see these days where people ask the question: “What would say to the younger version of yourself?”

This is actually an interesting question and one that I’ve contemplated several times when spotting these entertainment posts. On the one hand and in keeping with my opening statements about no regret, I think it would be hard for me to try and say anything to my younger self that could potentially alter the course of my life. For example, although it would make sense for me to speak a 4-year old me and tell him to start karate right away instead of waiting until the age of 10 and it would seem to be something that could help, those actions could likely cause effects that would seriously alter and disrupt life as I’ve come to know it. I can hear Doc Brown screaming, already!

In all seriousness, I had a lot going on when I was 4-years old. I was diagnosed as a Type-1 Diabetic, my health and life were in jeopardy and our household was still in the throes of constant hospital visits and travel for my brother. I can’t see my being able to attend karate through all of that and since my mother all but hauled me out by my shirt tails from the precursor to Boy Scouts BECAUSE I was diagnosed as Diabetic, I don’t believe she would have allowed me to join and stay, in karate.

But martial arts aside, the question was what I would say to my younger self, which is a loaded and difficult question. After all, even something seemingly innocent and without future information could be damaging. If one were to tell a younger self “it gets better,” this could still prompt a lack of caution or laziness on the part of one’s past self. That being said, I often reflect on some of the joyful experiences I had in my younger years and I think that if nothing else, it might be pleasant to watch those experiences play out through my current eyes. Often in life, we don’t appreciate how easy we may have had it or how good things were and can only realize the same through reflection.

I guess the moral of the story is I, personally, wouldn’t say anything to my younger self. And you shouldn’t want to, either. Although people are likely tired of hearing that everything happens for a reason, even if you aren’t in the best place right now, NOW is when you need to make the change; not 20 years ago. Reflection and self-realization are the tools necessary for a happier life with less suffering. Food for thought… ☯️

No “Thank You…”

I encountered a strange situation last week that I can honestly say I’ve never experienced before. I was making my way to work early in the morning and as I like doing on the odd occasion, I decided to go through a local eatery for a take-out coffee. For the most part, I’m partial to chugging a quick energy drink in the morning and no, don’t feel the need to fill my comments section on that! Who am I kidding? No one EVER fills my comment section. But I digress…

Since I start my morning with a can and actually have my own coffee machine at the office, I usually don’t indulge in take out coffee. Since I don’t like getting sued and I don’t need it reaching the wrong ears, I won’t name the location I attended but will simply point out that it’s a place whose primary focus is coffee. ‘Nuff said. As I mentioned, I only do this once a month or so when I’m feeling that my morning could use an added pick-me-up to get me started.

I pulled up to the drive-thru lane and was extremely pleased to see that there was only one other vehicle at the speaker. I didn’t see a line-up at the window, inciting me to believe I would have a quick, seamless experience and be able to make my way to the office without incident. Although very little that happens in the world surprises me anymore, I have to admit that the interaction with the speaker employee that ensued left me a bit taken aback.

I placed my order, which is about as simple as it gets. I ordered a medium coffee with two sweeteners. The employee’s response was to provide the total and to ask me to “Please drive up!” I loudly and clearly said thank you, as is my habit and custom. Politeness and respect cost nothing, and thanking someone who is serving you your beverage can usually go a long way towards potentially adding a bit of positivity in their day. Except in this case. In this case, it had the opposite effect.

The employee came back on the speaker and asked if I needed to order something else. I had started rolling by that point and jammed the brakes and explained that no, I was simply saying thank you. This person went on to say that it wasn’t necessary to say thank you and that speaking AFTER they say “please drive up” triggers them to assume the next order is at the speaker. I’m not sure I understood that logic, either when it happened or even now. Since I had him on the speaker, I explained that I was simply trying to be polite and showing respect to someone working towards providing me with my beverage.

I got no response to that, so I drove up to the window. I was perplexed. Confused beyond reason. I started looking around for television cameras because I assumed I was on some sort of prank show… I have occasionally been called out for neglecting to say thank you when I likely should have. Never in my LIFE have I had someone take me to take on actually SAYING thank you. Not wanting to create unnecessary conflicts and simply wanting my coffee, I didn’t plan on addressing this issue at the window. After all, I don‘t know this person. Perhaps they’re having a bad morning, themselves. Maybe it’s simply their personality. Maybe, just maybe, they subscribe to an abstract belief that having someone thank them is offensive. Who knows? It’s 2022, people!

I had someone different at the window and as I mentioned, I had no plans on addressing the matter. I simply paid for my coffee and went on my way. It left me with a strange feeling. I try to start my mornings off on a positive note so that it sets the tone for the remainder. This doesn’t always work, but politeness and respect plays a role in that. But if someone had told me that this type of response COULD happen, I likely would have laughed at the absurdity of it. telling someone NOT to say thank you? Strange, indeed. But in a world where people eat laundry detergent pods and snort condoms on a dare, I suppose I really should stop being surprised at the things I see. ☯️