Author: Shawn

I am a practitioner of the martial arts and student of the Buddhist faith. I have been a Type 1 Diabetic since I was 4 years old and have been fighting the uphill battle it includes ever since. I enjoy fitness and health and looking for new ways to improve both, as well as examining the many questions of life. Although I have no formal medical training, I have amassed a wealth of knowledge regarding health, Diabetes, martial arts as well as Buddhism and philosophy. My goal is to share this information with the world, and perhaps provide some sarcastic humour along the way. Welcome!

Ignorance Isn’t Always Bliss…

As I get older, one of the big things I notice is the increased amount of pain and discomfort. It isn’t a constant, debilitating pain, of course. But it’s usually just enough that it sits on the present fringes of my consciousness, a steady companion as I make my way towards the latter portion of my life. For example, just twenty years I could get a night’s sleep, whether good or bad, step out of bed and hit the ground running. Now, it takes several minutes for my body to acknowledge and accept that I’ve woken up, everything cracks and settles as I sit up and then my knees and joints scream at me as I get them moving. Such is life.

One of the important aspects about any pain and discomfort that we feel, is recognizing the need to seek medical attention. We’re often ignorant of this, whether due to the inconvenience of trying to get in to see a medical practitioner, which is not an easy in modern days, or the stubbornness of believing that pain is temporary. It often is, but we allow ourselves the indulgence of a far longer wait than we should, in some instances. This can lead to complications that one can ill afford, especially if you’re dealing with Type-1 Diabetes on top of things.

From a martial arts’ standpoint, many injuries will be suffered during training. Bruises, scrapes, blisters, pulled muscles, torn muscles and even broken bones are al injuries that I’ve either suffered or seen during my many decades of training. Most things can be healed with a bit of rest and time, specifically things like bruises and pulled muscles. But even those can lead to complications if left unchecked. If bruising begins to inexplicably spread or change to unusual shades of colour than what your bruises typically look like, there may be something more serious happening beneath the surface.

Pulled and damaged muscles actually take much longer than people assume. If left to heal properly, it can take several weeks for muscle tissue to return to its former state. If it’s been several months and the pain still persists or has worsened, that’s a sign that ice packs or warm baths won’t help any further. Medical examination may be required. Trying to return to your normal activities without allowing your muscles t properly heal will aggravate an existing injury and potentially cause others. Broken bones are a problem all their own. Besides the broken bone, certain breaks can cause a kink of nerves, restricted blood flow and circulatory issues.

It goes without saying (despite the fact I’m saying) that broken bones shouldn’t be ignored and require medical treatment. The old belief that you won’t be able to move a limb or use the part of the body if your bone is broken is myth. You’ll still be able to walk on a broken leg as movement is done through your muscles. That doesn’t mean it won’t hurt like hell and cause al kinds of damage, though. I’ve been lucky enough to get through my life with only mild fractures. I’ve only had to be casted once and have otherwise never needed to be laid up.

Numbness and loss of feeling is also an important concern. If you have pain somewhere in your body and start to notice numbness or loss of sensation in the extremities, this could suggest that whatever your injury may be is causing lack of circulation or kinking a nerve. None of that is a good sign and should prompt you to get the injury checked as soon as possible. trying to “tough it out” can lead to nerve damage and loss of extremities if blood flow is hindered.

Having Diabetes adds a whole different flavour to injuries and I recognize that I’ve mostly been speaking about internal injuries that show show a great deal of much on the surface. But cuts and open wounds are especially difficult, since people with Diabetes will have difficulty healing in a timely fashion by virtue of neurological and circulatory issues. Not only will injuries take longer to heal, but T1D’s are prone to infection, which will make matters all the worse. This is why it’s so important to maintain good blood sugars and seek medial assistance if injuries appear red and angry, ooze any kind of fluid and it appears as though they aren’t healing properly. ☯️

A Journey Of A Thousand Paths…

Life is strange in that it doesn’t care about one’s plans. It’s good to have goals; in fact, it’s highly recommended in order to make it through the rigours of life. Someone without wants, needs and expectations will go through life without cause, without purpose. And there is no truer loss than someone going through life without purpose. But despite all these goals and purpose, life usually leads us down a path we likely never would have followed on our own. And this brings about a feeling that no person should ever allow to permeate in their soul: regret.

Regret is insidious, in that it once it’s permeated your existence, you tend to carry it with you for the vast majority of your life. It penetrates, soaks and influences everything you do and every decision you make, thereafter. And if you know anything about me at all, you know that I don’t like to be influenced. I’m stubborn enough not to want it, but wise enough to understand that it often happens without my even being aware. But I digress…

I written about this concept before but I thought it would be ideal to revisit it, especially in light of the fact that some of my topics will effectively need to start getting recycled as there is only so much room in my head for new ideas. The concept is to live your life without regret. This is not only a “should” concept but a “need to” concept. The reality is that regret serves no purpose except to cause suffering, which if you’ve been paying attention, is kind of my thing to eliminate at all costs.

For the average person, regret takes the form of choices they WISH they had made when the opportunity presented itself. One of the most popular I hear, is the one where people wish they could go back and change a pivotal part of who they are or a choice they’ve made. The problem with this is that the here and now, coupled with your experiences, is what makes you the person you are today. Should any of that be changed or altered, the very fabric of who you are as a person would be significantly different.

Let’s take a pretty common example, shall we? Imagine someone who works hard at their job, has a great partner and a couple of kids. This person may consistently say that if they could go back, they’d give themselves some winning lottery numbers. Can you imagine? It seems like a no-brainer, in terms of something one would change. But they say money can’t buy happiness… While this might be true, it can alleviate some of the financial burdens and concerns associated with daily life, which can ultimately lead to a happier one. It can also lead to a corrupt, materialistic existence where instead of that hard-working person who raised a loving family, you get a rich snob who knows that they can basically throw money at any obstacle in their way and don’t have to work at anything, to any significant degree.

This would develop two very significantly different people out of the same person; one who values life and one who’s blind to value. Still regret not wining the lottery? Yeah, me too. I really want to build a small “off grid” home outside the city where noise is non-existent and it’s solely “my” space. And maybe someday I will. The difference is that instead of regretting that I wasn’t born wealthy or won the lottery, I’ll achieve this goal by working hard at it, raising my own money and by the sweat of my own brow. This will drastically alter the value that I place on the accomplishment.

Maybe life would be easier if the path we were on were smooth, flat and straight. That’s a bit of a pot-shot at the local roads in Saskatchewan, where I live. It’s a pretty apt description of our highways but it would be easier in the sense that it would make it simpler to see where we’ve been, where we’re at and where we’re going. But this isn’t how life is designed. The road is meant to have curves, forks and rocky patches. This is necessary for one’s development into the person they’re meant to be. As I’ve come to learn, a smooth, straight road is pretty boring. There’s a better chance of falling asleep at the wheel.

Know that despite the curves and forks in the path that’s lead you here, you are exactly where you’re meant to be. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t work to fix something or change something that makes you unhappy. It simply means that these challenges are your bumps in the road; only you can choose to suffer the impact, or make your way around. Either way you choose will contribute to the overall experiences that build the wonderful person that you are. Don’t live life with regrets. It will serve no purpose and ultimately dwelling on the past will do nothing to repair it. Food for thought…☯️

Family Day

Considering how poor my week seemed to be last week, this week is starting out quite nicely. I started by taking the second half of last Friday off, giving me the benefit of starting a long weekend a bit early. Last week felt as though even a full night’s rest wasn’t adequate to provide proper rest and it left me wondering if there was something medically wrong happening. I actually got next to no sleep through the Thursday night/Friday morning transition and woke up around 4 am, giving me time to do dishes and laundry before work but left me exhausted and craving sleep by lunchtime.

Fast-forward to my leaving work at noon. I was lucky enough that my two Friday afternoon meetings got cancelled, leaving my afternoon wide open. I spoke with my boss and he was amenable to my using a few leave hours to take the afternoon off. I ran up to my local retail outlet and picked up some necessities for the weekend. When I got home, my wife was basically as exhausted as I was, so we decided to be naughty and put the baby in his crib with a view of Netflix on an iPad to entertain him long enough for us to get a nap. I slept the sleep of the dead and woke up just before my oldest son got home from school. Guess I really did need the sleep.

Nathan and I.

My Friday night typically involves entertaining my oldest and spending the evening with him while my wife finishes working online. I sometimes feel that Nathan has felt the effect of having a second child introduced into the mix after four years of having me all to himself. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the cause of some of his behavioural he’s exhibited in the past two years. But we ordered pizza for the boys and Chinese food for the two of us and we all pigged out on take out food. Not a horrible way to start the night.

The weekend was a smooth couple of days of reading newly-purchased graphic novels, snacking and hanging out. The weather’s been a bit too cold for sledding and spending time outdoors, but whatevs. After watching the Paw Patrol Movie, binging Grey’s Anatomy and Squid games as well as writing and researching, I’d say it was a pretty sweet weekend. And this brings us to today, which happens to be a Monday.

Alex and I

Today happens to be a Provincial statutory holiday designated as “Family Day.” On the occasions where I’ve written about some of these so-called holidays, I’ve been able to provide some insight into how they originated and what started them. Of course, that’s usually for silly holidays like “Coffee Day” or “Donut Day.” But in this case, I wasn’t able to find much besides the fact that “Family Day” is a Provincially-based holiday observed on some given way, shape or form in new Brunswick, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario and British Columbia.

The holiday is observed on the third Monday of February and has allowed me to have today as a day off. It’s quite nice. Nathan is off school as well and we’ll be spending the day trying to keep him occupied as he usually needs constant stimulation to get through the day. But the additional day off allows me some further rest and shortens the work week to come. Even when one loves their job as I do, it makes for an easier frame of mind.

Try to ignore my double chin…

I don’t think I can picture anything better than cuddling up with one of my boys while we watch a movie, play a game or wrestle on the floor. They both have their own individual personalities and can be challenging but they both provide love to their mom and dad in their own individual way. Do I know if this is how “Family Day” was envisioned? No, not really. But I wouldn’t have had it any other way. My oldest, Nathan, has the entire week off. It should make for an interesting dynamic throughout the week.

My crazy, goofy loin-fruit…

Now that the weekend is over, I’ll return to work tomorrow. Rested, spoiled and happy to do so. Life is pretty good, I can’t lie. Enjoying time with my children and my wife is fantastic. Even though I have all of today as a day off, I’m hoping that the work week will go smoothly. I guess time will tell. The big thing to wonder about is whether they’ll have karate class tonight. I haven’t asked about it but given that it’s a stat holiday for the Province, I guess I’ll have to find out the hard way of we have class or not. ☯️

Hot Or Cold, The Debate Rages On…

Water. Fluid of life. Our bodies are primarily composed of it, we need to drink copious amounts of it on a daily basis to stay alive and maintain our internal bodily functions. In fact, the average adult needs to drink anywhere from 3 to 5 litres of water a day in order to meet that requirement. This is dependent on size, weight and even gender. And I should clarify that we also take in a certain amount of water through food, as well. So it ain’t all about chugging it down from a glass. Wait, whiskey has water, right? Moving on…

When I was younger, I was always discouraged from drinking icy cold water. There were a number of reasons behind this, including the contraction of tissues that could make it harder to digest food properly, shocking one’s kidney and causing bodily cramps. Most of the time, this was encouraged by Sensei, who explained it was preferable to sip water at room temperature; a practice I maintained for years afterwards, thinking that he had a point. Although how you choose to take in your H2O and like most things in life, there’s a good and a bad side to everything. And the temperature of your water is no exception.

I decided it might be time to examine exactly what is so bad about drinking cold water. Is it genuinely bad at all? Turns out a lot of people wonder that very thing. I’ve read a number of different articles and papers on the subject and they’re al pretty consistent in terms of current findings. My preferred one is posted by Healthline.com, which may be bias on my part since it’s one of my favourite websites. But the article addresses some of the pros and cons of drinking cold water.

One of the points the article mentions that appeals to be is how practitioners of Chinese Medicine have a belief that drinking cold water with a hot meal creates an imbalance. On the flip side, consuming hot water is said to improve breathing, which is likely one of the reasons why people are encouraged to eat chicken noodle soup or hot tea when trying to recover from a cold or flu. All that being said, the article suggests that drinking cold water can cause increased congestion and migraines in people who suffer from them.

Cold water can be beneficial during fitness routines. Not only will the cold water help keep your core temperature cooler as you exercise but it may also help you burn more calories since your body will fight harder to warm that same core temperature up. That’s assuming you can actually get your hands on cold water. My current gym doesn’t even have a water fountain available and if I bring cold water, it’s warmed up by the time I get to the gym, workout and finally take a drink, it’s pretty much reached room temperature.

I can easily agree that the consumption of cold water on a hot summer day may SOUND like a good idea in the moment, but it could potentially increase the mucus in your throat and the difference in temperature between your core and your water can cause cramps, pains and shock the body in uncomfortable ways. I’ve also gotten a mild version of brain freeze on days I’ve come back from cycling and chugged water from a refrigerated water bottle. So while the jury may be out, it’s up to the individual person to decide how good or bad the consumption of chilled water could be.

One way or another, any water you get into your system is good. There isn’t enough evidence either way to suggest total overall benefits or loss of drinking cold or hot water. My older brother, the Light rest his soul, used to enjoy a cup of hot water at supper. Without tea in it or anything. He used to say it helped him digest his food. Maybe there was something to that. As long as you’re getting enough water to stay hydrated and healthy, that’s what’s important. And for my Dia-buddies currently reading, proper hydration can help with proper blood sugar control. ☯️

A Prime Example…

I made reference in my post yesterday, during my not-so-subtle jab at the current state of the world, how this past week has been a bit of a rough one. There are a number of reasons for this and most of them are the result of compounding effect by virtue of medical issues, scheduling issues, triggering issues as a result of PTSD and just plain old life not caring about my plan.

By the time Monday had rolled around, the weight of the previous week had already caused me to sit in a dark corner holding my knees and rocking like a injured school girl, so I tried to find balance by setting some clear goals for myself. One of these goals included making it to all three scheduled karate classes for the week. Monday night would have been the first, which was scheduled from 8 to 9 pm.

This is a bit of a later class than I’ve ever been used to, with the majority of dojos and schools I’ve trained in ENDING their classes around the time that this one is slated to begin. I got home from work last Monday in reasonable mood and hellbent on making it to this class. I helped with dishes and my wife made a wonderful supper of pizza rolls made with crescent roll dough. They were delicious. They were also difficult to carb-count for…

I took what i thought was a reasonable dose of insulin for the amount of pizza rolls I ate. Although I prefer to err on the side of being slightly above normal than below with my blood sugars before engaging in exercise, I’m also aware that there’s a significant level of grogginess that can accompany high blood sugar (not to mention the damage I’m causing to m self) so it’s often a bit of a balancing act. I often fall off the high wire in these balancing acts, and the results usually fuck my night like a bad prom date.

Since I had arrived home a bit late to start with, my window of time was reasonably shortened from what i would usually enjoy but I partook of a dose of caffeine to give me a boost and ate appropriately to prevent an over-filled or bloating tummy. Within an hour, I noticed I had dropped to about 4.5 mmol/L, which isn’t BAD per se, but I knew I would have to wolf down some fast-acting carbs to compensate so I could make karate class.

Within fifteen minutes, my blood sugars had dropped into the 3’s, leaving me dizzy, groggy and sweating like Peter Griffin during a heavy meal. Bear in mind that this was WHILE I was hungrily downing jelly beans like they were going out of style. I hadn’t actually taken enough insulin to prompt this sort of a reaction, especially in light of the fact that I had basically eaten dough with a bit of meat in it for supper.

I had an hour. I worked towards ensuring my gear bag was packed and ready to go, including a book on techniques I had borrowed from the dojo that I intended to return. I worked through that hour in trying to get my blood sugars to level out. Needless to say, they didn’t. Ten minutes prior to the start of class, I was still sitting in my home office with my head in my hands, munching away and trying to bring my levels up. I had barely grazed the 4.0 mmol/L mark.

My wife came to checks on me and I explained what was happening. She passively suggested that given these things tended to happen on karate nights when i was trying to make my way out the door, maybe my body was trying to tell me something. Maybe it is. Who knows? Once I had successfully made my peace with missing Monday night’S class, I changed into some sleepwear and sprawled on my couch to recover and cuddle my toddler. Within the next hour, just long enough to have completely missed class, my blood sugar levels boomeranged in the other direction.

A part of me acknowledges that this is a prime example of life not caring about one’s plan. I may have planned and intended on getting to class that night, but fate and my body had different plans, effectively destroying the goal I had set for the week before I even had a chance to attempt it. Such is life. But like waking up in a bad mood, this somewhat set the tone for my whole week. Luckily, I did make it so some classes.

Long gone are the days where i could rush off to a fitness class, train like a man possessed and throw caution to the wind as I would neglect to worry about my blood sugar levels until AFTER class was done. As I’m getting older, I need to acknowledge that life has changed. And as I’ve written before, one needs to change with it in order to ensure the proper progression of life. My solution will effectively be to have a light snack in the mid-afternoons on karate days and have supper AFTER class. This will help ensure that my blood sugar levels accommodate what I’m trying to accomplish. I’ve only just started returning to karate. It’s not time for me to stop, as much as my Diabetic body is telling me I should. ☯️

Balance Or Polar Opposites?

It’s been a pretty rough week overall and I’m grateful for the arrival of the weekend, in whatever way my time will be used. Things in Canada are a bit chaotic of late, with multiple protests/occupations taking place at various points in the country, including southern Alberta, Windsor, Ontario and the Parliament Hill in Ottawa. It’s a strange scene to watch play out, especially at arm’s length from either side of the struggle.

The irony is that many of the Canadian Provinces have begun doing what this so-called “Freedom Convoy” intended from the start: the removal of mandatory vaccination and/or proof of negative testing. This restriction was ended, here in Saskatchewan on Valentine’s Day of all days. The reason I say it’s an irony is twofold: the protesters still haven’t cut the bullshit and now there are folks protesting AGAINST the lifting of restrictions. Cue the Alanis Morissette music…

It makes me give my head a firm shake, and maybe I’m just like everyone else; tired and exhausted, both physically and emotionally, at the state of the world and the toll that this pandemic has taken. In some ways, many ways, I’m grateful that my children are as young as they are. My toddler was essentially born into the pandemic, so he doesn’t know any different than being at home with limited exposure to the outside world. My 7-year old is generally happy, as long as he has snacks, his device and some time with his old man. But I digress…

The “re-opening” of the world is exciting to some, scary to others and certainly concerning, overall. There’s a belief by some that ultimately, we’re stuck with COVID-19 forever, which may be true. Perhaps the future will mean learning to live with the existence of this virus as we may not be able to completely eliminate it the way we have with previous ones. This leaves us with a continued division where some folks believe that ALL restrictions should be lifted to allow the virus to run its course with others believing that the lifting of ANY conditions is too soon.

My wife and I usually make it a personal policy to stay out of the political arena, for a varied number of reasons. I even have a personal policy of keeping myself out of any hotly-debated issue, such as this one. I haven’t been in the same boat as others where I’ve lost friendships or family relationships (at least not over COVID-19 or vaccination) and I would like to keep it that way. This is why if you read this post again, you’ll notice that my opinion on this topic isn’t present, as such.

It kind of feels as though my country is waiting on baited breath to see how things are going to play out and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit anxious as to the lasting effects all of this will have. I think that if anyone had asked me where I thought the state of the world would be in twenty years when I was younger, my answer certainly wouldn’t have included all of this. The world changes. This is an inevitable part of life. For better or for worse, whether we agree or not, we need to change with it. This is the only way to move forward. Food for thought… ☯️

A Little Trip Down Memory Lane…

Every once in a while, it’s nice to let one’s head cool a bit and reflect on something fun and awesome. I had the opportunity to do this a few days ago when I downloaded an album I found in iTunes. The album was Bon Jovi’s “Slippery When Wet,” and the fond memories those songs brought out of my subconscious were worth the low, low price I paid to buy the album. Believe it or not, I first heard of this album while watching a 1987 comedy flic called “SpaceBalls.” The movie featured one of the album’s songs in the first ten minutes of the movie and I was hooked. Let’s take a trip down this old man’s memory lane, shall we?

It was the early 1990’s. I had just sat down with my father on a quiet evening to watch a movie he had rented. That’s right, kids! Back then, you had to pay money to borrow a movie for the night like some sort of beggar. Scrolling through a streaming service wouldn’t be a thing for almost twenty years. I wasn’t much of one for comedy back then, but he assured me it had a science fiction vibe similar to Star Wars. I was reeled in. Although he wasn’t wrong, the shitty effects and poor story line had me yawning within the first few minutes. And then it happened: the scene showing the protagonist’s spaceship with his trusty sidekick rocking out to “Raise Your Hands” came into view. I couldn’t help but be immediately taken by the sound and solid riffs of the song.

I was already aware of Bon Jovi but since this pre-dated Google and the ability to immediately search things online, I had no idea what song I was hearing or even that it belonged to Bon Jovi. By the end of the movie, I had forgotten about the song and the feeling it elicited within me. But I would eventually come back to it. And no, before anyone asks, I wasn’t bright enough back then to watch the credits to the end where they display the songs and artists. And since I held my silence about how much I liked the song, I couldn’t even benefit from the fact that my father might have recognized it or suggested the credits thing. We do dumb shit as kids. What can I say?

In 1994, I purchased my first car. It was a 1986 Toyota Tercel hatchback, 3-speed manual. It was an absolute piece of shit car, but I had purchased it with my own money and honestly I only had two concerns: that it had air conditioning and a tape deck. The car’s body could have been covered in polk dots for all I cared, provided those two items were present. CD decks wouldn’t be a common thing for another couple of years at that point and most retail location still carried a healthy library of tapes and newly released albums.

So in those first few weeks of vehicular freedom, I made my way to my local retailer and decided to pick out a couple of tapes to play in the car. I remember feeling a sense of freedom and it was one of the first times I was able to feel as though I was starting to step into a more mature level of pre-adulthood. This excitement was mildly offset by the anxiety at trying to purchase something I knew was “in” and “cool,” so that any of my counterparts at school that heard the music coming from my car would approve. Such is teenage life, right?

That’s where I landed on two cassette tapes. the first one was AC/DC’s “The Razor’s Edge.” this was because I was absolutely enamoured with “Thunderstruck” (and still am) after watching a local martial artist perform a nunchuck demonstration to the song. The second was Bon Jovi’s “Slippery When Wet,” because “You Give Love A Bad Name” was on one of my father’s medley tapes and “Livin’ On A Prayer” played at most of the few school dances I attended. It was enough to earn my stamp of approval and I bought both tapes.

It wasn’t until I played the entire first side of the tape and flipped to “Side B” that I was taken aback at hearing “Raise Your Hands” for the first time since watching SpaceBalls with my father. I was overjoyed at the discovery and pretty much kept playing the song on repeat until I finally wore out the tape, which sucked. Yes, folks! These were the first-world problems of the time. When CD’s became a common thing a short while later, I purchase an adapter to play CD’s through my tape deck and purchased a CD copy of Slippery When Wet.

Why am I writing about this? Well, besides the obvious fact that this is my blog and I can write about whatever the hell I want, I recently had the chance to rewatch SpaceBalls through one of my streaming services. I honestly can’t remember which one and it doesn’t matter. The point is that the days of CD’s and tapes are long dead and gone but my taste in music hasn’t significantly changed. So I immediately Shazamed the shit out that song and downloaded the album. For the first time in over twenty years, I am once again the proud owner of “Slippery When Wet.”

I’ve had the pleasure in recent days of reliving all the teen nostalgia, the campiness of “Social Disease,” the cool story behind “Wanted Dead or Alive” and the raw, emotional richness of “Without Love” and “Never Say Goodbye.” I have a lot of good memories of that music, playing like the soundtrack through my formative years along with Van Halen, April Wine and the Eagles. Some of the memories are great, some are bittersweet and some are a touch on the inappropriate side that I would likely be better off not sharing here.

Memories are particular, because people usually treat them in any one of two extremes. Either they live within their memories, which isn’t a good thing. The only way to move in life is forward. Or they completely forget about the things of the past, which is also not good. Rather, the way to live in a healthy manner is to treat these memories as a lesson to guide you through life and something to aspire to. Good memories serve to show us that not all steps in life will always be mistakes. And the good feelings and good times attached to those memories show us that there is good in life and we can aspire to enjoy it. Food for thought…☯️

Help Me Out…

At this point, I’ve written almost 1,100 posts in recent years with at least 700 days in a row of posting without missing a beat. When one is dealing with a broad range of topics covering martial arts, the Buddha Dharma, Diabetes and health & fitness, it can take quite a before we get caught with one’s proverbial pants down and run out of material to write about. Unfortunately, it does happen and even if I occasionally try to switch it up by posting something light and easy, there are times when the ideas don’t flow quite as freely as I would like them to. Such is life. I’m sure there are still tons of ideas I could post about, they simply aren’t coming to me. That’s where y’all come in…

I know that some of you are pretty frequent readers. I know this by virtue of some of the likes and comments I receive and I appreciate each and every one of you who take the time to read the material I write and take the time to acknowledge it. In that spirit, I’d like to hear from you. The following is an easy, one-click poll to help me gear my posts towards what you, my readers, would like to hear more about. This will help me gear my mind towards what i should be focusing on. After three years of blogging, I think it’s time for this step.

I’d also like to point out that I would more than welcome some guest writers. Collaboration is the spice of life and I think there are a number of martial arts practitioners, students of the Buddha Dharma and Diabetics out there who could share their valuable knowledge and experience with my readers. If this is you, then I would invite you to reach out to me in the comments section with your email address and we could get to work on writing something together! I’m starting to place a comment button right in my posts now, so getting a hold of me has never been easier. I WANT to hear from you.

Even the best writers in the world will often experience blocks and if I’m being entirely honest, I’m far from the best so I could use some help. Let me know your thoughts, either in the comments sections, through the comment button or through my feedback forum. I have no plans or intentions of ever shutting down my blog and I would certainly love to continue posting on the daily. So don’t hesitate to share some thoughts, wants and feelings. I’ll always give credit where credit is due and I would love a fresh perspective. ☯️

Choices And Consequence… A PTSD Perspective…

Anyone who reads my posts on a daily basis may have noticed that I’be been a bit grumpy in my writings in the past couple of days over the weekend. There are a number of reasons for this, including my foolish disillusioned belief that people will do the right thing, when given the opportunity. Despite the fact that I keep being proven wrong in this aspect, I continue to believe. And I suppose that isn’t a BAD thing, per se. But it’s consistently setting oneself up for failure. I thought I had left the pains of seeing the negative side of people when I left the policing world but once again, I was wrong.

I don’t often talk about my PTSD… This isn’t out of some inflated sense of manhood where I don’t feel as though I can share. Quite the opposite. I simply have coping mechanisms that are outside the norm, including meditation, martial arts, physical fitness and my family. But in most instances, it’s difficult for someone who hasn’t really experienced the same things as I have, to understand. I could go into depth on some of the things that brought my mental state to where it’s at but I wouldn’t want to risk painting a word picture of those horrors for fear of not getting any sleep tonight. And I wouldn’t want to subject any of you to those images, either.

One of the big problems with PTSD, besides it being inherently a problem in and of itself, is that one never knows exactly what might trigger it. I remember the story of a colleague who was involved in a search and rescue effort for a small child. The child was located and was unfortunately deceased. This would be a lot for any human soul to bear, and police are no different. He was fine for years, continuing his career and carrying on his duties to the best of his abilities. Then one day during a traffic stop on the highway, he spotted a small, white object on the edge of the roadway between his cruiser and the stopped vehicle.

When he leaned forward to see what it was, it turned out to be a tiny children’s sneaker. The colleague immediately threw up on the roadway and collapsed. The sneaker had brought it all crashing down and triggered that person’s PTSD. And that’s often the way of it… You never know when someone or something will be JUST enough to bring something to the surface and cause a debilitating situation. I believe that some of the scenarios I had to deal with last week may have done just that. Considering I’m quite happy with my life as it currently plays out, my work, my home and my family are all blessings and I’ve finally returned to karate after years of being without a dojo, a resurgence of the life I left behind upsets me to no end; a fact readers would have gleaned from my last two posts.

There are a lot of things that tend to help me when something like this hits me. For example, I had the pleasure of my wife’s company last Saturday evening. We got a babysitter for he boys, went out to dinner and spent some time wandering the city and making a few stops, which is a favoured activity for both of us. This made for a smoother weekend and allowed me to let go of some of the tension in my body as a result of the things I had dealt with the previous week.

It isn’t always that easy. I remember a few years ago, when I was still with the Force, my wife and I went to a restaurant for breakfast. It was a pretty typical outing; we chose a location together, got seated and ordered some food. By the time we had started eating and got halfway through our meal, my body flushed and it suddenly felt like I was surrounded by the other people in the restaurant. Oddly enough, it felt like I could hear every conversation and noise in the restaurant simultaneously. If this were a cheesy action movie, I might have almost been inclined to think I was developing superpowers. No such luck.

I started to tremble, I paled and started sweating profusely. I felt an irresistible urge to get out of the restaurant. My wife was able to recognize something was wrong. Considering my blood sugars were fine, the only thing I could attribute the current situation to is that I had been triggered by something. We paid the cheque and quickly left the location. It took a while for my pulse to slow and for me to calm. To this day, I have no idea exactly what in that restaurant caused the issue. But this is how it often happens.

If I’m being honest, writing when I’m that state of mind likely isn’t the best thing. After all, complaining about myself is not what I started this blog for. But it does serve a purpose as it raises the topic, which is significantly important. Considering it’s the beginning of the week and I’m facing several days of the same, here’s to hoping it will better. And that’s the key; ensuring that every step one takes brings you that one step forward. And that step will be positive. ☯️

Happy Valentine’s Day

Last year I wrote a long-winded post (as if I ever write them otherwise) about the background and history of Valentine’s Day and how it’s typically celebrated. Rather than go through that all over again, I thought I would keep things fresh by writing about how WE celebrated our Valentine’s Day, which was done on Saturday. We made this choice due to a combination of needing a babysitter to watch the boys and the fact that our normal, everyday grind would kick back in on Monday and it would be more difficult to have an enjoyable evening.

Our evening started when the babysitter arrived. We’re blessed in that we have a very trustworthy and responsible young woman who lives across the street. She’s been babysitting for us since we moved here in 2016 and Nathan adores her. We’re lucky in that Alexander has also taken to her. An evening out always goes better when a parent knows their children are in good, trusted hands. We locked the door on our way out and tasted the freedom as we embarked on our evening together.

Laura’s dish, which looked as good as it tasted!

We went to dinner at a local restaurant called the Copper Kettle. Featuring a short menu of items that lean on the greek side, my wife ordered a combination of meat and veggies in a spiced sauce with lemon-seasoned potato wedges. I ordered a Bonanza burger with a side of fries because, well… this is me and I need to sample burgers from every restaurant I go to. I should really branch out at some point and experience other meals. But for now, burgers all the way!

We enjoyed our meal in relative quiet with some fun conversation where we discussed plans to do some things with our boys, travel aspirations and goals we’d like to accomplish in life. our food came soon enough and we enjoyed it thoroughly. In fact, my wife, who usually only eats half of her meal and brings the rest home for leftovers, managed to finish her plate off. We asked about dessert but realistically, we both had enough difficulty breathing from a full stomach that we passed.

My burger, which was delicious.

Once we had finished our meal, we had plans to go wander the local bookstore at our leisure then hit up the bulk store for some treats to curl up in front of the television. unfortunately for us, the book store was closing less than half an hour after we got to the restaurant and the bulk store closed at 7pm. Seems kind of ridiculous for a Saturday night. You’d think those business would be open a bit later on the weekends to get all the folks who work during the week, right? But I digress…

We topped our outing with a stop at our local retail chain where my wife let me pick out a fun box of hair dye for her to try and we looked at various items around the store. Not exactly hitting the clubs and painting the town red but we know what we like. We went home and relieved the babysitter, who reported no issues with the boys and went on her way. I usually don’t believe her; Nathan is typically a rolling ball of noise and Alexander is a rolling ball of destruction. I see no reason why they’d be different around the babysitter. But maybe they are. Who know?

Laura’s watch

Once we were home and had the boys squared away in bed, we poured some drinks and sat in our living room to binge-watch some Grey’s Anatomy. We got through an episode when I realized I hadn’t given Laura her Valentine’s Day gift. She insisted she could wait until Monday but my plan was to give it to her when we went out to dinner. Unfortunately, the box was large and square enough that I wouldn’t have been able to conceal it anywhere. So, she got it on Saturday night. I got her a Bulova watch. I’m a big fan of Bulova; they’re excellent watches that last for YEARS.

It was an excellent evening, with excellent company. I couldn’t have asked for better. Hopefully, all of you have the opportunity to enjoy your Valentine’s Day. And should you find yourself alone, just remember: some self-pampering and enjoyment can be a great way to spend the day. ☯️