Author: Shawn

I am a practitioner of the martial arts and student of the Buddhist faith. I have been a Type 1 Diabetic since I was 4 years old and have been fighting the uphill battle it includes ever since. I enjoy fitness and health and looking for new ways to improve both, as well as examining the many questions of life. Although I have no formal medical training, I have amassed a wealth of knowledge regarding health, Diabetes, martial arts as well as Buddhism and philosophy. My goal is to share this information with the world, and perhaps provide some sarcastic humour along the way. Welcome!

“I Want More”

I learn more from my children that I often give them credit for. And that’s a pretty common parental mistake; we tend to think that we have all the knowledge and know-how and need to impart it on these blank slates so that they can learn and grow. But kids see everything and hear everything, even when we’re of the opinion that they don’t. And it amazes me how I often see a child’s behaviour in most of the adults that I associate with. I was reminded of just such a thing last Saturday, when I brought my oldest to an indoor play gym to blow off some steam.

The original plan was to go to a local shopping mall, which contains an inside play structure. What’s nice with this location is that there are always plenty of children for the boys to socialize and play with and it happens to be free. Although this may make me sound ridiculously cheap, any parent can easily understand the need to find inexpensive or cost-free ways of entertaining one’s children; especially when you have more than one of them.

As is usually the case, Nathan tends to change his mind more than an internet joke about asking your girlfriend where she wants to eat. We were only five minutes down the road when he decided he wanted to go to an inside trampoline gym called “Get Air.” Although I’ll be the first one to admit that it’s pretty awesome, it also costs a small fortune and requires constant yelling and correction to keep him from literally breaking his neck. I explained to him that we wouldn’t be going to this location, especially since they require specialized socks. He indignantly stated he wanted to return home and go nowhere but we had a purchase to return at the mall we were MEANT to, which is another reason we were headed there.

I calmly explained that we weren’t turning around simply because he was unhappy with the options he was being given and that we would go return the purchase I had with me and we could come back home, then. Once we were at the retail location, he stated he would be in the toy section and scuttled off. Once the return was done, I found him and told him it was time to go. He handed me a 10-dollar toy and expressed his want of it. I explained that we weren’t here to buy toys and that every outing didn’t indicate that something would be purchased for him. Any other parents relating to this story, yet?

He got visibly angry with me and explained that since I wasn’t taking him where he wanted to go, buying him this toy was the least I could. Setting aside for a moment that the least I could do is feed him, clothe him and essentially keep him alive, the degree of selfishness he was displaying was making me nauseous. And then, something unexpected happened; he Jedi mind-tricked me. Somehow, through our debate, I wound up being convinced that he had the choice of either choosing the toy and going straight home for the day or I would concede to take him to an indoor park called Klimerz, which required no special socks.

He chose Klimerz and I was somehow pleased with this as I felt that he would have the opportunity after all to burn off some steam and play with some other kids. It wasn’t until I had paid the entry and was sitting on a bench watching him run around that I realized the lack of logic I had used in my decision and the fact that my 7-year old had basically played me. I’m not proud of it but I stand by the fact that it was of some benefit to him. I let him play for over an hour and half before finally telling him we needed to go. He was soaked in sweat and had a blast, playing with several of the other children at the location. I felt my job was done.

It wasn’t until we were both in the car and buckled in, that he chose to say, “I wanna play some more…” Now, I have two problems with this; the first is that he just finished playing for over an hour and half and this should have been adequate to satisfy any reasonable person. The second is that rather than try and petition further time out of me while we were still inside, he chooses when I’m about to hit the accelerator to say something. I explain that we’re done and have to head home and he gets angry and yells, “I WANT MORE!!!”

This prompted a rather in-depth discussion (because we were in the car and rolling and couldn’t escape)about appreciating what one is giving and to avoid constantly wanting more. Although I was glad that he had had fun, we went from a cost-free afternoon at a public park to paying a fair amount of cash at a specialized play structure and he still wasn’t happy and “wanted more.” Alright, fair enough. He’s a kid and I get it. As a child, we all experience good things that we’d like to see and do more of. We don’t have the reflexes to understand that there need to be limits to such things and that we don’t always get what we want.

So, what about adults? The unfortunate reality is that adults are often as bad if not worse than kids. Modern society has been groomed to believe that the purpose to life is the acquisition of belongings and property. The harsh reality is that in the vast majority of cases, no matter how much one gets, one usually always ends up wanting more. And that’s unfortunate. Most people, at some point in their lives, have heard the expression, “You can’t take it with you.” And this is true. Wanting more in life will often find you achieving less and having an emptier life. And as for Nathan, he’ll eventually learn what’s important. It may take a few full-on sulk sessions before that happens but he’ll get there. ☯️

Friday The 13th

Friday the 13th was a pretty big deal when I was a kid. Either you used it as an excuse for all the bad luck you experienced that day, or you were a fan of the horror movie franchise and could usually find at least one of them playing late in the evening on local cable (when such a thing was the standard). I fell into the latter category, having snuck into the living room in the middle of the night and watched a VHS tape of Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason lives. My father had rented it for himself and I got curious so I did what any typical kid back then; I got up and watched it. It was 10-years old. It was all down hill from there…

The day in particular owes itself to a rather unfortunate history. Some view it as a back luck day while others actually see it as good day. It’s kind of like black cats; everyone seems to think that black cats are bad luck. Unless you’re stuck in the matrix and you view it as being a glitch in the system, there’s nothing that’s bad luck about black cats. The same can be said about Friday the 13th. It was especially horrendous during my law enforcement days when anyone in uniform would dread working it, thinking it would carry some excess of criminal complaints by virtue of the date.

There are many stories from different backgrounds surrounding this date. For myself, I was raised in a Catholic household and one of the stories was that the Last Supper had 13 guests (Christ and his apostles) and that the following day was Good Friday. Although that’s a good story, since the Gregorian calendar wasn’t invented until the late 1500’s, that first Good Friday couldn’t have been dated as such. Who knows, right? I wasn’t there…

There’s another thing I read somewhere in viking lore, where apparently 12 gods were having dinner in Valhalla when an unwanted 13th god snuck in, uninvited. That would be Loki, of course. Not the MCU Loki but the actual Norse god from mythology. While there, Loki killed one of the other gods, causing the world to fall into darkness, which is why the Vikings consider the number 13 to be unlucky. Don’t quote me on any of this, I’m going from memory based on stuff I read a long time ago.

There are similar instances of “unlucky” dates in other countries/societies. For example, the Greeks believe that Tuesday the 13th is an unlucky because it’s associated with their God of War. For the most part, I never noticed an increase in complaints or criminal activity when I was with law enforcement. And despite people’s propensity for thinking there’s some correlation between the date and bad luck, it’s just another day. And as we get older, some superstitions tend to fade away. That’s why it’s Sunday morning and I only JUST realized that we passed a Friday the 13th, the day before yesterday. Go figure…☯️

I Love A Rainy Night…

Having been born and raised in the Maritimes, I spent a good portion of my life exposed to some pretty wicked rain storms. Our bay opens up into the Gulf of St. Lawrence, which means that some of those rain storms were practically hurricanes. I remember some rain storms that were so strong that we could barely see out the window of our apartment. My father LOVES the rain and would frequently have us jump into the car and chase the storm so we could enjoy it for as long as we could.

That probably sounds lame and dull to many, but there’s a reason why the sound of rain is so prominently featured in relaxation music and meditation sounds. The sound of falling rain has a calming effect and most people enjoy listening to it. I, personally, enjoy sitting in my garage while the rain pours down, letting the sound wash over me like a natural white noise machine. We’ve been having a lot of rain here in recent days, and it’s been reminding me of home.

We slept with our bedroom window open while the rain fell. Somehow, between the cool air and the hypnotic sound I almost seemed to sleep better than usual. Reminds me of days sitting in my car on the wharf while torrents of rain pounded the open bay. There’s nothing like it. And meditating with the sound of the rain? Fugedaboutit! Total bliss. Most people don’t like the rain; they see it as something negative that prevents comfortable navigation of the outside world and limits activities. But believe me when I say the benefits can far outweigh the negative perceptions. ☯️

“That Won’t Work…”

Hmm, how do you know? I hear people say this phrase a lot, especially as it relates to their goals, health, finances and careers. And I don’t necessarily mean the people who may say this because they have actually tried a similar thing and have a REASON for believing it won’t work; I mean the ones who say it won’t before even trying. Those are the dangerous scenarios and the ones that can set an otherwise capable person up for failure.

Fear of failure can be an insidious thing and can cause serious repercussions in a person’s life. Imagine if, all the way back in the late 80’s when my health was waning and there was a very real possibility that side effects of Type-1 Diabetes would end my young life, that I had looked at karate and said, “Mmm, that won’t work…” There’s a very real chance I wouldn’t be writing this post, right now, as I would be dead.

It’s right on par with my parents, who spoke almost those exact words when I finally revealed I was studying karate, despite the fact I had been doing it for a few years at that point and my health had improved ten-fold. I’ve often had students who have had this unfortunate belief, where they’d walk into the dojo and start training but as they saw what would eventually be expected of them, chose to give up rather than try and make something work.

The important thing to remember is that nothing is impossible. Does that mean that YOU will necessarily be capable of it? Maybe not. But there’s a big difference between something being impossible and something being beyond your capabilities. The key is recognizing that difference. And there’s nothing stopping you from actually trying to. Remember, there’s a huge, HUGE difference between “failing” and “being a failure.”

Failing at something means you tried. It means lessons have been learned, important lessons, that you can carry forward into the next thing you do or try. And although something may be out of your range or capabilities, this doesn’t make it impossible. It simply means you may have to examine other options. As the old saying goes, you’re not a failure unless you fail to try.

One of my favourite quotes, ironically, doesn’t come from a philosopher or teacher, not one of my instructors or a literary source (technically). No, one of my all-time favourite quotes about failure is from the character of Captain Jean-Luc Picard from Star Trek, The Next Generation. In a certain episode, he says, “It is possible to commit no mistake and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.” Important words from the most unexpected source. ☯️

Get A Problem, Solve A Problem…

Life can be difficult to navigate, especially when you stack financial, familial and work-related responsibilities into the mix. Many people actually hit the pillow from exhaustion at night but can’t sleep. Even when the body is tired, the mind keeps churning and it can play hell on your health and one’s wellbeing. And I’m sure I don’t have to tell any of you how stress over long periods of time can cause all sorts of health-related issues, as well.

Stress and exhaustion will lead to poor performance and results, which stresses you out further, which leads to less rest and eventually trying to cope through some rather unhealthy means. The thing is, life will give you deadlines. It almost impossible to avoid; certain parts of your life will require results within a certain period of time. Makes sense, right? It would be great if one could make your way through life at your own pace but some things simply won’t wait. So way stress over it?

The obligations and deadlines won’t disappear but the stress can. I may be oversimplifying it and making it seem easy but it can be done. Once one acknowledges that work will continue to come and you simply need to remain consistent and committed, the stress will begin to melt away. The other important aspect is to recognize that there are periods of time where you simply CAN’T do anything about the tasks waiting for you the next morning. Thinking about it and stressing over it during your down hours does nothing for you. AND it takes away your down hours.

Work and responsibility won’t go away. So when you get home at night and have some time that isn’t work, take the time to relax and enjoy that time. Your health will thank you, your soul will thank you and it will go a long way towards reducing the suffering in your own life. And it’s much easier to help others once you’ve helped and healed yourself. Food for thought… ☯️

Just A Little Inspiration…

Once in a while, i find something that either inspires me, motivates me or that I just flat out like. I found this little paragraph online while casually surfing the web. I don’t know the source (hence why it’s quoted “Anon”) but I like it and I feel as though it can be a little pick-me-up for the middle of the week. Enjoy…☯️

You can rise up from anything.
You can completely recreate yourself.
Nothing is permanent.
You’re not stuck. You have choices.
You can think new thoughts.
You can learn something new.
You can create new habits.
All that matters is that you decide today and you never look back.

– Anon

Never A Smooth Journey…

Lack of education is a consistent problem within medical circles, meaning that many people view certain illnesses through a lens that’s not befitting or may not be appropriate to the actualities that a sufferer feels. One good example are all these videos you see on line where someone will approach a driver parking in a handicap spot and start betraying them Fort parking there, despite having a handicap placard. The ‘complainer” has no fuckin’ clue what internal issues that person may be dealing with, but they always seem to assume they shouldn’t be parking there.

The same can be said of Diabetes… When I was first diagnosed with type-1 Diabetes, I can easily admit that I thought very little about it, other than the fact I was getting free food while in the hospital. To my credit, I was only 4-years old at the time but even as I got a bit older, the innocence of childhood kept me rooted in the belief that nothing would happen to me because, well, I was a kid! And bad things don’t happen to kids, right? Oh, I was so wrong…

Throughout my life, I’ve gotten some of the worst comments about my Diabetes. Any of you who have read previous posts will already be aware that telling me that “it could be worse” is without a doubt one of my biggest pet peeves. What an absolute verbal slap in the face, to tell someone with a life-long autoimmune disorder that has no cure and debilitates, that it could be worse… Sure, I know it could. But that doesn’t make my journey any less difficult.

I have no illusions that Diabetes is alone in that arena but the reality is that there are a number of issues that a person with Type-1 faces that anyone external looking in may not notice. One good example, and likely the best, is the lack of access to insulin. For most people, they’re of the impression that so long as you eat well and take insulin, Diabetes pretty much leaves you alone. unfortunately, this is about as far from the truth as one can get…

Insulin is required for more than just controlling blood sugars. The reality is that prior to the creation and wide distribution of insulin, someone with type-1 Diabetes usually only lived for about 10 to 14 days, at most. Diabetic Ketoacidosis would kick in and the patient would soon succumb. That’s why I always have a bit of a laugh when someone says, “Why don’t you just eat completely carb-free to and exercise to keep blood sugars down?” Ah, if only it were that easy.

So, here’s problem: what if you can’t easily access or afford insulin? What do you do? Just curl up and wait to die, I guess? Not a year goes by that I don’t read about the rising costs of insulin and how some people will go to such extremes measures as ordering insulin over Amazon or crossing borders to get it cheaper in another country. Imagine that? besides feeding and supporting a family and trying to make a life, yo-yo need to wonder where your next shot of life-sustaining hormone will come from? It’s through that lens that I write this post today.

I’ve lived through periods where I had to choose between buying food to get me through the week or splurging on a bottle of insulin to stay alive, albeit while starving. I’ve dealt with having to ration and manage how much insulin I used, stretching a single vial to twice or even three times it’s intended capacity, in order to make it to that next paycheque that would let me get another bottle. I’ve also dealt with failing health care systems that don’t acknowledge the fact that like many other illnesses, this isn’t going away, it’s for life and that life will dramatically shortened if I don’t have the benefit of proper medical attention and the medications I need to live.

These days, I’m pretty fortunate and I count my lucky stars because I’m in the employ of a career that provide medical coverage for everything I need. The insulin pump and continuous glucose monitoring has been a life-altering option that’s almost guaranteed to have added years to my life. Not everyone is as fortunate, which is why when I post about nasty side effects, the negative side of Diabetes and how I’m just tired of it all, it’s done for educational purposes and not necessarily to complain.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way… Although life has had some rough climbs, over jagged rocks and while barefooted, I’ve managed and fought my way through. Life is worth it and only by fighting for it can one keep a grasp on it, however tenuous… I may look healthy, I may eat well, live reasonably well, exercise and maintain myself but make no mistake; beneath the veneer of all my efforts lies a tumultuous storm of complications that I’m keeping at bay. And the first time I fall asleep at the helm could be all it takes. Food for thought… ☯️

Like Riding A Bicycle

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, and despite the fact some of my followers may have wondered why I didn’t post about that yesterday weren’t here to see my two sons and I showering my wife with gifts and taking her out to eat before relaxing at a park so the boys could burn off some energy. Combine that with the fact i spent an hour on the phone wth my own mother and I think we’re good. Mother’s Day is one of those holidays where one need only to open their favourite social media platform to see the words plastered a few dozen times by a few dozen people. But I digress…

Once everything was said and done and I had hung up with my mother, I decided to take advantage of the unexpectedly nice weather (it was supposed to be raining) and take my first bike ride. I had been putting it off for days, despite some rather balmy weather we’ve had in Regina but since everything was said and done and my wife had settled in for some television and cross-stitch, I decided to blow the dust off… Although my original thought was to ride a short, 10-kilometre stint that should only take me about half an hour, I stopped just shy of 7. Out of breath and sweating profusely, that 20-minute ride was enough to show me that I have plenty of work this summer, rebuilding what’s been lost while my rib cage healed up.

Once I got back to the house and sat down to rest with some fluids, I looked at the punching bag and decided to tentatively throw a few “light” punches to test the waters… That is to say, i wanted to see what would still hurt and what wouldn’t. A couple of straight and hook punches on each arm showed some mild aching but no sharp pains or debilitation. This meant that should be able to slowly start doing some work, physically, over the next week and slowly introduce myself back into karate. My plan for the week is to start doing some short sets with light weights in order to strengthen newly healed muscle and get things nicely stretched out. Once that’s done, I should hopefully be able to sneak my way back into by next week. Fingers crossed! ☯️

Give Us A Smile…

There’s a lot of suffering and negativity in the world. This is aggravated by the fact that most people stagger through their day without interacting with the world around them. in an unfortunate society where technology reigns, people often tend to smile at their smart device far more easily than they would for the person who serves them their morning coffee or thank the bus driver who dropped you at the destination you needed. There are a lot of little things one can do to improve the overall tone of one’s day and body language means everything. Here are some of my favourites…

1. Smile. That probably seems pretty basic and hopefully you haven’t decided to scroll past this post because of it but a smile is the most basic of positive actions. It’s universally known, bound by no language or culture. Hell, even someone blind who has never set eyes on an actual smile will know how to do it and it will mean the same thing to them despite this lack of visual knowledge. Smiling at someone in any circumstance will not only make YOU feel better, it may just add some positivity to someone else’s day. Even when out in public and you happen to be looking around and lock eyes with someone for a moment, a small smile (maybe not a sustained, toothy, creepy smile) will let that person know that their existence is acknowledged and will add a positive twist on their day.

2. Say Thank You. This seems like such a small thing and many people would argue that if they go to their favourite drive thru in the morning to pick up coffee, it’s the employee’s job to hand you your coffee AND you’re paying for it. What’s the thank you for and why is it necessary? Those questions and that line of thinking tell me you need a nap because you’re cranky. Saying thank you to someone, anyone, for something they do, whether it’s serving you coffee, holding a door open or helping you with your transaction in a store, not only validated what they do for them and shows them you acknowledge their existence, it will make you feel good and keep you humble. After all, I’ve bought Tim Hortons coffee for brewing at home but it still doesn’t taste as good as getting it directly from the source.

3 Make Eye Contact. This is something that seems to have gone the wayside in recent years. People seem uncomfortable with basic eye contact but it’s SO important in proper communication and body language. Something I’ve started to do when I’m out somewhere and I have sunglasses on, is I’ll lofty or remove the sunglasses to allow for proper eye contact. This allows me to show the person I’m interacting with that they have my undivided attention. It also allows them to see that the smile I mentioned in the first point is genuine as opposed to forced or faked.

Even if technology rules today’s modern society and we’re all lost in our own little digital world, we’re still human and there’s still a need to interact with each other and try and keep the world as positive a place as we can. A little smile or a thank you can go a long way. Without even realizing it, you may inadvertently alter the course of someone’s life, just by looking them in the eye, smiling and saying “thank you.” Food for thought… ☯️

Let’s Get Physical… Therapy…

The body has a number of redundancies in place that happen when healing from a wound or injury. This includes the fact that if your go without using muscles for a significant period of time, they’ll shrink, wither and potentially get weaker. There’s also the issue that if the injury INVOLVES the musculature and it needs to Medan be regrow, the new muscles will need quite a bit of work before they can be used at the capacity that they were prior to the injury.

A good example of this is reflected from the fact that for just a little longer than a calendar month now, I’ve gone without karate classes and basic exercise. And no, this doesn’t make me lazy! No, YOU shut up! I’ve slightly reduced my food intake, within reason, and I’ve kept myself moving. I simply haven’t been training as hardcore as I usually do. As a result, I’ve dropped from 217lbs to 209lbs (or 98 to 95 kilograms, for you metric folks).

Despite the weight loss, it isn’t great news. The pounds I’ve shed come as a result of lost mass, not weight reduction. My muscles have shrunk by virtue of being used significantly less in the past month and doing next to no physical activity. So, I started trying to do a few little things. I started by raking my front yard, which probably wasn’t the greatest thing to start with, since the movement puts direct stress on the area of my torso that I injured. It also doesn’t help that my 7-year old was supposed to help but ditched me in favour of playing with his baby brother. Damn kids. But i digress…

For some people, physical therapy, or physiotherapy as its also known, is required in order to get back up on the proverbial horse after an injury. This usually involves an actual therapist who will use hot and cold, massages and certain exercises to help recover from injury as opposed to using prescription drugs or mainstream therapies. You may be asking, “But can’t I get massages, apply heat and cold and exercise on my own WITHOUT using a therapist?” Why, yes. Yes, you can. The difference is a therapist will have certain specialized and focused methods of getting you there faster and in a safer manner.

I’ll admit that I would be the first one to injure myself further by doing too much, too soon. hence why I’m trying my damndest to take it slow and ease back into things. That being said, I’m chomping at the bit to start doing stuff, especially in light of the fact that the weather has been so nice in my area. The other important aspect besides one’s weight and muscle mass, is that absolutely EVERYTHING affects blood sugars in someone with type-1 Diabetes. So it becomes all the more important to closely monitor your blood sugar readings, especially if your level of fitness and your food intake are changed. ☯️