Author: Shawn

I am a practitioner of the martial arts and student of the Buddhist faith. I have been a Type 1 Diabetic since I was 4 years old and have been fighting the uphill battle it includes ever since. I enjoy fitness and health and looking for new ways to improve both, as well as examining the many questions of life. Although I have no formal medical training, I have amassed a wealth of knowledge regarding health, Diabetes, martial arts as well as Buddhism and philosophy. My goal is to share this information with the world, and perhaps provide some sarcastic humour along the way. Welcome!

The Funny Thing About Fear, Is Everyone Is Afraid Of It…

Fear is a natural thing. People don’t usually think it is but it is. Fear is a natural reaction to something that could bring harm or is considered dangerous against oneself or others. Most people spend the majority of their lives trying to avoid fear, as though it expresses some level of weakness to be afraid. It starts quite early in life, with parents trying to convince children not to be afraid of the dark, what may be under the bed or in the closet. As adults, we acknowledge that these fears are pointless because we’ve grown and come to learn that there’s nothing to fear. Children haven’t had this benefit at so early an age.

None of this stops us from trying to rationalize and dismiss one’s fears, children or otherwise. And while it may seem normal to get frustrated with a child who may be afraid of the dark, what happens when some fears penetrate into adulthood? Worse yet, what happens when an adult develops a new fear based on experience? Should it still be rationalized and dismissed? What if it disrupts or damages something within your adult life? Sometimes it can be easier to ignore a problem than to deal with it. But as adults, we need to use that logic to figure out an intelligent solution to our fears, as opposed to ignoring them.

As some of you may have recently read, I suffered an injury back in early April. This injury included damage to my rib cage as well as the muscle wall covering said ribs. It happened in karate class while training through a weekend seminar and as much as I’d like to say that I should recognize that it isn’t a fuckin’ knitting circle, it’s a combat art, I have to admit that getting hurt IN karate is something that I’ve not only never experienced before, it’s caused me some apprehension in going back.

I really didn’t think it would, at first. I spent weeks on muscle relaxants and pain killers, trying to heal and get over the injury. I lost several nights’ sleep and spent most of those nights curled up in a cold sweat, crying out the pain. Despite having trained for several decades, I have NEVER been injured to this extent while training in karate. Oh, I’ve been injured and required recovery but never anything like this. And never as a result of a karate class.

As the weeks have trickled past, I’ve recovered slowly, able to move easier, breathe easier and finally able to get some sleep without crying. I made a point of acting tough at work but it had a profound effect. I kept telling myself that I would soon be ready to return. But recently, I came to realize that despite being completely healed, I felt an intense level of anxiety and stress at the thought of returning to class. It’s been debilitating and has had me finding every excuse in the book NOT to go to class. I have no fear of facing the other black belts; we understand the risks and potential injuries that come with training. This is all me. This is all in my head.

Considering I was badly injured and needed almost two months to recover, my fear is not irrational. I know that. But my anxiety over reintroducing myself into the dojo is. And eventually, I’ll run out of excuses. When that time comes, I’ll need to decide whether I hang up my belt and move on to a different chapter of life or if I stick to my plan of continuing my martial arts journey and continue to learn. As a family man, I have an obligation, now more than ever, to maintain the ability to defend myself and my family. I also need to continue working towards maintaining my health, especially if I expect to live long enough to see my grandchildren. Food for self-thought… ☯️

Anything Is Always Something More Than Nothing

The title is something I came up with years ago, usually referring to one’s personal health & fitness goals. The reasoning behind it, is that many people will assume that because all one can do is take a light walk or use extremely light weights, that it isn’t making a difference in their health and fitness. But nothing could be further from the truth. Even the lightest weights will offer more than sitting on the couch. Taking a walk may not be going for a 10-kilometre run but it will still give you more than snacking on a bowl of chips while binging a streaming service.

This concept also includes meditation. Although there are various forms of meditation and different ways of doing it, for some proper meditation means clearing their minds and thinking of nothing. Although this is a great concept, having completely nothing on one’s mind is more difficult than the average person is inclined to believe. Even with decades of experience in meditation, sitting in a quiet room and focusing on absolutely nothing is almost as elusive as trying to catch a glimpse of an eye floaty that always strays right out of your immediate view.

Speaking from personal experience, when I manage to meditate to the point where I clear my mind, I always find myself drifting and my mind will idly stray to random thoughts, memories and ideas. Although not an inherently bad thing, if one is genuinely trying to focus on nothing and allow their conscious mind to cool, this can lead to some frustration and cause the practitioner to consciously move their mind back to nothingness. This is where the connection to the first paragraph comes back into play because focusing on nothing is still something. And anything is ALWAYS something more than nothing.

Unless you’ve committed yourself to a monastic lifestyle or discipline that requires it, it’s critically important to remember that the meditative experience can be different for everyone. You shouldn’t be too hard on yourself if the type and manner of meditation that you’re pursuing tends to be elusive for you and quite difficult. For those who aren’t simply going through the motions of making it look like they’re meditating for the gimmick of it, it can take years of study, practice and in some cases even guidance from others, before you can successfully achieve one’s goals.

What’s important to remember is that if meditation allows you to relax, lets your mind cool and reflect as opposed to dwell on any particular thing, you’re still doing something beneficial for your body. And don’t be afraid to reach out to various sources for help. After all, you wouldn’t try to bench press 300 pounds if it’s your first time in the gym, right? Why try to carry the full weight of one’s mind on the first time out? Be patient. Be consistent. Work towards what YOU want to get out of meditation. You’ll be all the better for it. Food for thought… ☯️

There’s Something About Mary…

Yesterday I travelled back to Regina from Saskatoon after having spent the night recovering from my eye injections on Monday afternoon. As is my usual habit, I spent Tuesday morning attending some work-related meetings from my hotel room and part of my afternoon dealing with the closure of an office location in Saskatoon. The result is that I got home much later last night than I normally would have. And interestingly enough, My Monday/Tuesday was a bit more interesting than my typical visit to the hospital and evening in the pub. And here’s where you het to hear about it…

I arrived in the city around lunchtime and headed straight for the hotel. I’m almost always a few hours early for check-in and I do this to ensure I can accommodate any unexpected delays, such as construction, road closure, a flat tire, etc… It’s never happened but I know that the one time I leave so that I arrive on the hour, I’ll have some issue come up. I used to wander one of the local malls or stores to get closer to check-in but I stopped doing that when I realized the hotel would allow me to check in early, provided there was a room available.

Zombie eyes…

My check-in and walk to the hospital went off without a hitch, despite the cold winds and slightly lower temperatures than we’ve been getting lately. I arrived at the hospital about thirty minutes before my injection appointment. This is always by design as well, because they have to dilate my pupils and take surface photos of my eyes before I get to see the doc for the injections themselves. I’ll usually try to get through all of that prior to my scheduled appointment so that I can be on time. I can’t help but feel that if everyone did this, there would rarely be any hold ups. But I digress…

I got through the vision exam, dilation and photos without issue. Then, the wait began… Amazingly, the doc could be seen floating from one room to the other as he usually does. It seemed as though they were on the mark but everyone had been waiting well beyond their scheduled appointment. As any of you who may have read some of my previous posts would know, I’m not a big fan of being kept waiting; especially when I intentionally take steps to prevent keeping others from waiting. I was getting a little frustrated at the wait (it was already 15 minutes past my scheduled appointment) when one of the nurses came into the waiting room and called for a “Mary.”

One of the ladies stood and said she was called Mary but when the nurse checked her name tag, her first name was actually “Cora,” with a middle name of “Mary.” This was not the lady they were looking for (cue Sir Alec Guinness’ voice, here). I made a passing joke about how I should have piped up and said that I went by Mary so that I could slip in earlier. The whole room got a laugh and it alleviated some of the tension that everyone was feeling, which was a good thing. I finally got in to have my injections more than a full hour after my scheduled appointment.

My dinner, once all the hospital stuff was done

I could get angry and frustrated about the extended wait I experienced. After all, what if I needed to get back to work? What if I had to pick up children or had other obligations? Being made to wait for that period of time is inappropriate in any setting. Unfortunately, this has become the norm in the Canadian health care system and I’ve learned to roll with it and be sure that I can accommodate the added wait. So as much as I dislike waiting, I was prepared for it and knew it could happen. And here we are. I staggered back to the hotel room for a brief nap to let the dilation wear off prior to going to dinner.

My evening started at about 6 pm, where I made my way down to Finn’s Irish pub on the ground floor of my hotel. I love Finn’s on a Monday night. Never much of one for clubs or bars, it allows me the pleasure of relaxing in a pub environment without the crowds or business that comes with being in such locations. As you can see from the photo above, I indulged well beyond what I would usually consume at ANY meal. between the beer and the “Irish nachos,” I was looking at almost 90 grams of carbohydrates. I can feel my insulin pump having a panic attack just looking at that photo.

I was in the midst of enjoying my meal, sipping my beer and watching Disney+ on my phone while sitting quietly in a dark corner, when I could hear yelling and swearing around the corner. Although I’m no longer in law enforcement, self-preservation is a natural instinct and I’m still naturally inclined to help others who may not be able to help themselves. I took a subtle stroll to the washroom so I could see what was happening. It appeared as though a couple were arguing at the bar and the bar staff were trying to kick them out of the bar. Since there appeared to be no physical violence, I kept walking.

About fifteen minutes later, a tall security guard comes in and all hell breaks loose. Likely told they had to leave, the couple decided to get nuts and this one security guard somehow managed to arrest and remove them both. I’ll admit I was a bit impressed. Unless there were police around the corner where I couldn’t see, it was pretty ballsy (and unsafe) to try and arrest two people by oneself. I never would have attempted it. I decided my evening was over after this and crashed quite early, which had me with my eyes open early as fuck, the following morning.

The moral of the story is that I didn’t stick around beyond that first beer so despite the fact my pump got an olympic-level workout throughout the night to bring my blood sugars down, I got a reasonable night’s sleep despite being away from home. But even in the quietest of environments, the potential for violence and danger is always present. It’s important not to allow paranoia to prevent you from enjoying life. The distinction is to be vigilant, not paranoid. If only I’d had told the nurse I went by “Mary,” I could have gotten though sooner and maybe missed all the action… Who knows? ☯️

Summer Lovin’, Happened So Fast…

It’s hard to believe that tomorrow is the first day of June and with it comes the warm, balmy weather of summer. Although the first day of summer is said to be towards the end of the month, I think we can all agree that some of the summer weather starts to kick in well before that. People are funny creatures in that we complain that we want summer during the winter months, followed by whining about the heat once we have it. But I rather sweat than push a shovel so as long as I have decent air conditioning, summer is my jam (yes, I really just said that).

Like all things in life, the pleasant climate brings its own set of potential problems and issues that one needs to be aware of. For me, the biggest problem is convincing my 7-year old that it’s actually bedtime DESPITE the fact the sun is still brightly shining outside. But the heat, humidity and climate can play hell on the body, especially for someone with type-1 Diabetes. Here’s my summer list of things to remember:

Stay Hydrated: I often feel as though I say things that people already know but one would be surprised at how many people overlook these simple things. With increased heat comes increased perspiration and loss of bodily fluids. That why it’s important to stay hydrated by consistently sipping water throughout your day, especially if spending time outdoors in the sun or engaging in physical activities. Dehydration can play a detrimental role in one’s overall blood sugar levels as well.

Wear Sunscreen: Do it! I don’t care if you want to try and tan or if you feel that a bit of roasting is healthy. It’s not. Melanoma is no joke and I know people who have had it, not least of which being my mother. The sun is unforgiving in this respect and it’s something that’s easily preventable by wearing sunscreen. And that shit is available everywhere. The key aspect is that the sun’s rays will affect you even if it isn’t that hot out, you’re in a swimming pool and feel cool or even if it’s cloudy. Don’t take a chance, glop that shit on!

Take Breaks: Even when I’m sitting in the relative shade of my garage, I’ll still take breaks to go inside, cool off, grab a drink, whatever! There’s no shame in it, especially if you’re engaging in physical activities outdoors, taking breaks can mean the difference between dehydrating or getting heat exhaustion or enjoying the weather properly.

Pay close attention to yourself, your family and children while playing outdoors. If you notice yourself or others start to feel dizzy, lightheaded or clammy but feel cold, it could be a sign of a serious health hazard caused by exposure to the heat. Taking a few precautions and strips will ensure that you can enjoy the warmer weather ahead. ☯️

On The Road Again…

That very special time has come again… The time when I need to leave my home and travel for a few hours to a neighbouring city to be put into a chair and have needles inserted into my eyes… Yes, you read that right: NEEDLES IN MY EYES! If you had told me, six years ago, that I would be having this done every 8 weeks I likely would have laughed at you and called you crazy. But yet, here I am. Doing it again…

I suffer from something called Diabetic Macular Edema, which is a condition where a Diabetic sufferer will develop an accumulation of fluid in the tissue of the eyes. A side effect of living years with type-1 Diabetes, the fluid causes a swelling that can blur one’s vision, hinder sight and eventually cause blindness. The only treatment currently available is to inject a prescribed medication into the eyes that reduces the swelling and dries up the fluid.

Sounds lovely, eh? Picture the scene from Clockwork Orange where the guy has his eyes held open by metal clips. I’d like to say I’m exaggerating but that’s pretty much what they use to keep my eyes open during the procedure. Freezing drops are used and I’m fully conscious and can see while this is happening so I’m usually treated with a show of swirling colors and lines, directly in my line of sight despite the fact that it’s all happening on the inside.

I’m usually blind, by the legal definition, for several hours after the injections and once the freezing drops wear off, it’s an unwanted visit to pain town for many hours to follow. Given the need for my kids to stay at home and my wife to work, I usually embark on this adventure on my own, which means I book a hotel room near the hospital and pass out for a few hours to let the pain subside once the injections are done.

Although the process is onerous and painful, it would be a lie to say that it’s entirely a bad experience. Besides the fact that it’s a proactive step towards ensuring my continued visual health, I get to have dinner in a nice, stylish little Irish pub that’s located on the hotel’s main floor. A little place called “Finn’s,” it’s usually all but dead on a Monday night, which means I get excellent and speedy service on my food and drinks and I get to observe a bit of society from a dark corner while I recover.

I’ve never been much of a club or bar person. unlike most of my counterparts, I didn’t spend my youth hitting the clubs or getting shit-faced at parties. Instead, I spent those formative years training and studying the martial arts. Some may claim they had more fun than I did. I have the benefit of saying I clearly remember all of it. But I digress… Since there’s really nothing I can take to alleviate the pain caused by the injections, a couple of cold brews help to take the edge off and I’ve yet to find a place with a burger as flavourful as Finn’s.

Given the new job I’ve been in for the past year, tomorrow morning will see me attend a couple of meetings virtually in my hotel room before checking out. Gotta love the way of the new world. It seems kind of rainy in Regina this morning, but the forecast seems to suggest it’s sunny in Saskatoon, which is important since I need to walk to the hospital. I guess I need to pack up and get on the road.

I could be bitter and complain about need to get injections in my eyes but two important facts come to the forefront. The first is that I’m pretty lucky in the sense that many people are much worse off than I am, and if getting needles in my eyes helps me to maintain my sight, I’m in! The second is that when I started taking this medication, I was going every four weeks. Now that it’s been stretched out to every eight weeks, it feels like a walk in the park by comparison, which is kind of ironic since I take a walk through a park to get to my appointment. ☯️

A Little Change Can Go A Bad Way…

Every one of us at some point in our lives, have seen something that has made us jump up and say, “Wow, I should really try that…” Although that can be fine in small doses, major changes in lifestyle, nutrition or exercise regimens can have severe side effects that one should rather go without. This can apply to almost anything and is why it’s so important to consult your family doctor or medical practitioner prior to making any of those changes.

I know some folks who woke up one morning and decided they were going to go “carb free.” Hey, that’s great and I get it. Maybe you want to lose a bit of weight. Maybe you want to get healthier and slim down so you don’t feel bloated all the time. But here’s a little secret that most people don’t seem to acknowledge: you need carbohydrates. Carbs are the body’s fuel and cutting them out entirely usually isn’t healthy. Although you don’t need (nor should you) gorge yourself on carb-heavy meals several times a day, it also should be cut out completely.

Maybe you just think a new exercise routine looks wicked cool and you think it could be loads of fun. And it may be. You just need to be educated about the risks before doing so. One good example I can think of, is a couple of summers ago when I decided to break my 60-kilometre record on the bicycle for the first time. I took all my usual precautions and I had cycled for 40 and even 50 kilometres in one sitting before, so I didn’t anticipate any serious issues (blood sugars notwithstanding).

But by the time I had managed about three quarters of the total trip and was on the final stretch to home, I was struck with a sudden wave of nausea. I was starting to feel cold, despite the summer heat and I was sweating profusely. I had several litres of water on my bike and had taken a number of breaks in the shade so I had no concerns that it was heat stroke or dehydration. But by the time I got home, my entire body was racked with pain.

Turns out that even though I made efforts to stay hydrated, the heat combined with the increased water intake flushed out most of my body’s mineral salts through my sweat, causing a condition called hyponatremia. By the time I got home, I had to keep sipping Gatorade to bring up my electrolyte and mineral salts as I ate salted foods to bring my sodium levels back up. Once I felt better, I passed out and slept for a while. It was a learning experience and now I’ve adapted for it.

The key message is to educate yourself ahead of time on what you’re attempting and make sure you understand the risks as well as what changes you may have to adopt in order to make it work for you and to be safe. This can best be accomplished by speaking with a professional; a nutritionist or dietitian if you’re planning on making any significant changes in your overall diet, a fitness professional or trainer if you’re thinking about starting a new fitness routine or your doctor for just about anything else. Food for thought… ☯️

It’s Easier To Hate But More Powerful To Forgive…

I’ve spent the better part of my life living on the presumption that I’ve been doing everything I can to alleviate suffering in the world. From healing, training and developing myself and others to becoming a law enforcement officer to protect those who can’t protect themselves, I like to think that I’ve done more than my fair share and my tour of duty should be recognized.

Speaking strictly in general terms, an outside party looking in may agree that my tour of duty is over and that I’ve done my part. However, the elimination of suffering is a never-ending endeavour and one shouldn’t do it simply for the purposes of “doing one’s part” but rather as a part of the bigger picture that life continues on and so should one’s efforts. This has gotten me thinking about some of the unfortunate weight I’ve been carrying with me for the past number of years and what I can do about it.

The only thing worse than someone who does you wrong is someone who does you wrong that you trusted. Having caused damage in any form against you, it causes a heavy weight of negative emotion and suffering to bear down on your shoulders. It drags you down, slows you down and saps your energy and motivation. Sometimes, without even noticing it, we allow it to affect important aspects of our lives. It holds a negative energy in life, against you and against the person whom you may foster negative feelings against.

I recently took stock of my life and recognized that I have such a person; a person I trusted, someone I valued and even looked up to… Only to have them perform actions and say words that brought the very fabric of the life I was living crashing down. It took a long time to recognize that the situation was initiated by this individual, and once the initial shock of that realization had passed, I found myself experience a deep, burning emotion that I can only recall having felt a few rare times in my life: hate.

Hate is among the most insidious of emotions as it isn’t just directed towards the person in question but eats up the originating person inside, as well. It festers and can eventually lead to physical health issues, if allowed to grow and run rampant. Although one could argue that there are certain levels of hate that would be considered normal, such as hating war, famine or discrimination, hating any other individual will cause unnecessary suffering in all parties concerned.

Although I don’t consciously acknowledge it, I’ve been carrying a hatred for this one person for years. The words and actions he used that caused the difficulties in my life are not slight, by any means. But carrying this hate has caused a level of damage within me that I need to repair and heal from. And ultimately, there is really only one way to heal and move on from such a thing. I need to forgive him. This may not be an easy task, one that my instincts may even tell me I shouldn’t pursue. But only by forgiving this individual and moving forward can I hope to release this weight that’s been holding me down.

I recently reached out to a mutual acquaintance to ask if he would be willing to bridge the communication between myself and this person of interest. He has agreed to do so and in the interest of closure and moving on, I believe it will be a great step to speak with this person face-to-face, discuss what happened and finally, let him know I forgive him. Maybe he won’t care. Maybe it’ll change nothing for him. And that’s okay. Forgiveness can be helpful and healing but at the end, it’s just as much for me as it could potentially be for him. Moving on will be a great steps towards eliminating suffering within my own life. ☯️

It Should Be Easy…

I’ve been writing since I was very young. In fact, my mother recently turned over a short story I apparently wrote when I was about 10-years old that was set in the future. The feelings of nostalgia that came over me when I saw that bundle and actually read the content… My writing skills have evolved significantly since then and I started blogging a few years ago when I needed something to keep my writing sharp. With 1,193 publicized posts, 800 of which have been in a row without skipping a day, people have often asked me how I managed to write and post that often. My response is usually that it hasn’t been easy, although it should be…

My blog is pretty diverse, containing material that encapsulates Diabetes, Fitness&Health, martial arts and the Buddha Dharma as main topics. I enjoy sharing aspects of my family life, especially my children, since unlike me, they were born into the technological and it will be cool for them to look back at this blog in a few decades and recognize that their old man contributed to the world in some way that may not have been aware of. But despite this diversity of topics, I sometimes find myself stuck for ideas on what to write about.

Oh, there will always be SOMETHING I can find on one of the topics listed here and there’s also the possibility of recycling some of my own materials since enough time has passed that not only is it still relevant but newer followers may not have read it yet. I would likely have an easier time of things if, like many of my counterparts, I didn’t post every single day. And it’s been difficult getting help; I have frequently asked people I know for ideas, interviews and post materials that would be relevant to my blog. One good example is the recent series I wrote on some karate colleagues who provided some short answers on why they joined the art. But for the most part, even the ones who say they will provide something, don’t.

Another difficulty I’ve faced, is having some people comment or pick my posts apart. I think a critical thing to remember is that this is a blog for people’s reference and entertainment. Even when I post about something medical, I make a point of slipping a disclaimer in there to consult one’s doctor. And the rest is just purely for fun (there’s a reason why I swear and cut loose in most of these). But there are still those who seem to find it necessary to point things out, correct my content or analyze things, ad nauseam.

Maybe it’s simply become the way of the world or maybe some people just have more more time on their hands. I remember writing frequently in some of my earliest posts that if one did not like the content they were looking at, they didn’t need to comment; they just simply scroll on by. in fact, I wrote an entire post about trolls and commenters and the effect they have, all the way back in January of 2020 (you can read that post here). But people seem to feel the need to insert their opinion or comments whenever someone else expresses themselves or writes creatively.

We see this same trend in movies now, where people will dedicate entire reddit posts to fan theories behind storylines or movie plots or will pick apart movies and explain why “they don’t make sense” or why a certain thing couldn’t have happened the way it did in the movie. In my day and through my youth, we watched shows and movies for entertainment. After all, that’s what they’re for… We didn’t analyze the fact that the spaceship would never be capable of flight in real life or that physics wouldn’t allow that superhero to perform that heroic feat. it didn’t matter. The whole point to all of it is to entertain and enjoy.

I’ve been writing this blog for a number of years now and am slowly rounding the corner on 500 followers, with a number of others who read it for fun without necessarily following. I don’t see myself stopping, which means getting used to some level of unsolicited, unnecessary advice and comments. As a society, we should have evolved and grown to be better than that but ultimately, it’s the ones who reward and respond to them that feed the machine. Not so much the ones who write it. Food for thought… ☯️

One Can’t Help But Wonder…

The past ten years have seen an incredible amount of advancement in my Diabetes and self-care. It wasn’t until 2015 that I discovered carb-counting… It seems pretty ridiculous when I say it, now. I’m not sure how I survived without proper food calculations and knowing how much insulin to take in relation to the food I ate. There’s also been significant education on what constitutes something that will affect my blood sugars or not. Realistically, everything affects blood sugars but I mostly mean in relation to food.

The introduction of the insulin pump and continuous glucose monitoring has been life-changing for me and has seen me through some of the most controlled blood sugar levels and the best A1C results in my life. Although we did the best we could with what we knew throughout my youth, a lot of what I’m doing now would have been available or could have been taught to me. In light of the many years of complications, comas and issues that resulted from my Diabetes, it’s been raising an important question in my mind in recent years: I wonder if it could have different?

I have to admit that it’ll come off sounding a bit like bragging… And that’s mostly because it is. But I pretty much brought myself back from the brink during my childhood. Insulin resistance and complications made it so that I was given a pretty short life expectancy that wouldn’t have seen me past my teens. When I joined karate, I pretty much put myself through hell in order to grow, heal and get better. Insulin resistance eliminated, I was able to push forward and start accomplishing some actual goals in life instead of assuming that I’d likely die before I reached adulthood.

The bragging part comes from the fact that I managed to keep training, developing and pushing myself despite these obstacles until I reached black belt and became an instructor. I also had dreams of becoming a police officer so that I could help others. I had to get myself through basic training and develop myself further in order to accomplish that goal and actual earn my badge. And once I had that badge, it took me very little time to grow and become the one who taught others to earn their badge.

At the height of my martial arts peak, I considered myself to be good. Extremely good. I won’t be vain enough to say I was the best because Sensei could still beat the living shit out of me and even if he hadn’t been in the picture, there’ll always bee someone more skilled. To think otherwise would be ignorant. But I was fast, strong and beyond capable. So what would have happened if all this knowledge, education and resources had been available to me when I had been going through all of that? Would my skills be even further than they are now? Would I have been faster and stronger still?

I can’t help but feel tat I’ve lost an opportunity by only learning everything I have about my own self-care in the past few years as opposed to the past few decades. It boggles the mind to think that all of those avoided complications and better health would have not only forwarded my life in martial arts and fitness respects, but perhaps I would have increased my longevity by a significant amount, as well. Who knows? I certainly don’t because that ship has sailed. Perhaps it’s time to revisit that hell I put myself through, all those years ago, and start working towards getting back some of what I’ve lost in recent years. Some food for self-thought… ☯️

Weekend Family Chronicles, Vol. 2

Last weekend, we were trying to decide what we could do with the boys as an activity outside the house. Sometimes we bring them to a play structure or a public park, which allows them to burn off some excess energy and doesn’t cost anything. The latter makes me sound pretty cheap. But getting the former accomplished is no easy task, especially when having Nathan and Alexander together is like mixing oil and water. Unfortunately for us, Nathan has developed a taste for the finer things, preferring the likes of the trampoline gym or indoor climbing structures that cost half a fortune.

It presents an interesting challenge, considering we’ve pledged to do something with them outside the house every weekend. Although it wasn’t raining, we had received some snow in Regina last Friday, which cooled everything overall. Temperatures on Saturday morning were in the single digits, which meant that there was a significant chill in the air. Although i don’t hide from the cold, I don’t enjoy being in it unless I have to. And being idle while standing outside makes the cold all that much more penetrating. My wife likes the cold even less, dressing warmly even in the summer months.

Alexander, making his way through the play structures

We decided to try dressing warmly and bringing the boys to candy cane park. An outdoor play park, it features a number of different ares of play, including a giant, concrete sculpture of a Canada Goose featuring all the different wildlife found around Wascana lake and has a slide and different tunnels. It a pretty fun place to play, especially since it also has a rubberized surface all over, preventing serious injury when kids tumble and fall. The idea was to let them play for a while and grab them some lunch from somewhere that they could takes bites from as they played.

All the things he could be playing on and he decides to dig with a random stick…

I thought the colder weather would allow for a quieter amount of people but i was quite wrong. In fact, i was surprised at how many people were either wearing shorts or sandals, making mu theatrics about how chilly it was seem a little excessive. It didn’t take long for both my wife and I to start shivering and being uncomfortable. Since my wife is usually colder than I am, I offered to have her drive back home for something warmer and grab lunch for the boys while she came back. She happily accepted.

Some local wildlife decided to snoop about the park, as well.

The boys both made friends and played at their leisure. When my wife finally came back, she had happy meals in hand and the boys started snacking away. The sky had turned completely cloudy and we had some concern of rain, so we coaxed Nathan to the car with the promise of hot chocolate when we got home, which he fully took advantage of. Alexander didn’t seem to care either way, content to follow wherever we took him.

These two look like trouble!

Once everyone was home and fed, we took advantage of Alex going down for a nap to close our eyes for a short period of time. Weekend naps are the best, and Nathan actually left me alone long enough to enjoy one, this time. Even if it was a bit on the colder side on Saturday morning, we managed to find a way to get some enjoyment out of the day. I’m sure as permanent, warmer weather starts kicking in, we’ll be enjoying more things like swimming and splash parks. ☯️