Author: Shawn

I am a practitioner of the martial arts and student of the Buddhist faith. I have been a Type 1 Diabetic since I was 4 years old and have been fighting the uphill battle it includes ever since. I enjoy fitness and health and looking for new ways to improve both, as well as examining the many questions of life. Although I have no formal medical training, I have amassed a wealth of knowledge regarding health, Diabetes, martial arts as well as Buddhism and philosophy. My goal is to share this information with the world, and perhaps provide some sarcastic humour along the way. Welcome!

The Vacation Chronicles, Vol. 2

So, Sunday was our second tour of duty… umm, I mean, our second day of transit across the country to go visit my family in New Brunswick. I learned something interesting… Ontario is split in half, time zone-wise. Half the Province shares it’s time with the same zone as Manitoba and the other half shares the same time as Quebec,

The reason I bring this up and why it’s important, is because our smart phones didn’t seem to jump an hour ahead automatically when we crossed into Ontario. This struck me as odd and I adjusted the in-car clock accordingly. When we all crashed, I set my alarm for 4 am because I thought it would actually be 5 am in the area of Ontario we were in. I was wrong. So fucking wrong…

Fast forward to Sunday morning and I awoke a few moments before my alarm went off, as is my custom. My phone displayed 3:48 am, which I thought was actually 4:48 so I slipped into the washroom, brushed my teeth, got dressed and gathered my things. I was going to duck out to the convenience store to grab some energy drinks and coffees for my wife and mother-in-law.

The outside of our motel in the middle of the fucking night…

They woke up before I left so I explained what I would be doing and although they mumbled that it was the middle of the night, they agreed they would start getting ready and preparing for the day. Once I realized everything was still closed, I made my way back. Our motel was the kind of place that locks all the doors at night and key cards get you into nothing but your room. We had to make the difficult choice of getting on the road without caffeine. It would be well over two hours before we’d manage to grab coffee. No animals were harmed…

We made a few stops along the way, mostly focused on stretching our legs, getting fuel and letting the boys run around freely. One place was particularly charming, called a “Trading post” and had authentic antiquities strewn on the property and inside the store itself. We all took the opportunity to use the washrooms, especially since the washrooms were genuine, honest-to-goodness outhouses! Pictures are worth a thousand words, so please see the following photo…

The outhouses… For true!
The big rocks that the boys climbed near the outhouses.

The day dragged on tediously. Such is the way on the open road. Nathan was once again pretty good, keeping to himself and playing with his devices. Alexander was a little less understanding and would screech and cry to voice his displeasure. Some of it was caused by the sun in his face. All parties in the vehicle managed to sneak some naps while I drove. I have to admit that despite my caffeine intake and crooning to the music, my eyes started to droop and I was getting sleepy.

Eventually, we came to the area that lines Lake Superior and my wife had managed to grab some photos. She sent them all to me and I chose the one that showed the view as spectacularly as possible. Check it out…

Lake Superior

Once we managed to stop for another break and we were hammering hard towards our destination, everyone helped themselves to another nap and I over-caffeinated. Our end destination was Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario. Once we got there, we stopped at three different hotels and were told by all of them that they were completely booked. Apparently, there was some bullshit bike tournament in the city. I couldn’t believe that all of those hotels were completely booked. I’d never seen the likes of it.

Since we couldn’t book a room anywhere, we wound up deciding on supper instead and pushing onto Sudbury, which was about three hours away. We chose McDonald’s because it would allow the boys to burn off some steam in the play place as we ate. Unfortunately, there are several McDonald’s in Sault Ste. Marie, and not all of them have parks. We went to three of them before landing on the right one.

We enjoyed a meal and decided that we would keep our eyes open for a hotel, motel or motor inn along the way to Sudbury. We stopped at three further locations, all booked! What the fuck was this bike tournament all about, that it managed to book up every accommodation to an hour outside the city. Total bullshit. We ended up in a small area called Iron Bridge and found a motor inn that provided us with a couple of rooms. Here’s hoping for a good night’s rest before starting day three! ☯️

The Vacation Chronicles, Vol. 1

Alright, so this post represents our first day of transit across the country to go visit my parents in New Brunswick. Last Saturday, the entire household woke up early in order to pack the vehicle, have a quick bite and get on the road. It went exactly as how you would imagine it…

First and foremost, I made a pig of myself on stuffed-crust pizza, the night before. This means that I went to bed with a swollen, bloated stomach and yes, more so than usual. Shaddup! I barely got any sleep, which sounds about right considering I had to drive for ten to twelve hours the following morning. Nathan was up all night on his Nintendo Switch instead of sleeping, which meant he was a cranky piece of shit until he was in the vehicle and could go to sleep. Heaven forbid, he actually sleep while he was in bed…

Packing was the usual adventure that my household faces while travelling, which included the overpacking of a number of items, misunderstandings about where and what we would be using and how, and leaving the house 30 minutes later than originally scheduled. We made our way to a local gas station to check our tie pressure, only to discover it didn’t open for another half hour. Sprinkle on one item that we had to return home for, and you have yourself a Cook family vacation…

So long, Saskatchewan! Hello, Manitoba…

The first leg of our journey went as well as could be expected, with Nathan putt cold in the back seat with his grandmother and Alexander entertaining himself accordingly. We had snacks, fluids and the adults were getting caffeine into their systems. Despite a rocky start, it was working out to be a well-rounded first day. Once we crossed into Manitoba, we made a couple of stops for washroom breaks and further caffeine, as well as fuel. Nothing out of this world.

Unfortunately, as with all things in life, the peace couldn’t last. Alexander decided he had all he could take of being in a car seat and began screeching at the top of his lungs. We stopped at a gas station just outside of Winnipeg for about twenty minutes to allow him to stretch and run for a bit. I took the opportunity to once again fill the gas tank. Thank the light that gas prices have gone down a touch.

I didn’t stop to pose for this one…

By the time we crossed into Ontario, it became very clear that despite the dry, summer roads, we were significantly behind and wouldn’t reached our expected first stop until almost 11 pm, local time. This is a problem as the boys are usually in bed well before that time, despite the fact it would only be 9 pm, Saskatchewan time. We stopped at a McDonald’s in Dryden to have some supper, and it allowed the boys to blow off some steam in the play structure. We got on the road with intentions of making as much headway as we could.

We wound up travelling to a small town called Ignace, which is actually a French name. We booked a cheap room in a seedy motel that looks like something out of a bad 70’s horror movie. The night’s sleep was fitful and shitty, but at least we got to wake up early and do it all over again. It’s roughly 3,500 kilometres from our front door to my mother’s. With three days of travel plus the fourth day where we need to arrive and check in, we need to achieve a minimum of 1,000 kilometres a day in order to ensure we’ll stay ahead and arrive on time.

Life rarely cares about one’s plans. You’ve heard me say this, before. Know who else doesn’t care about one’s plans? KIDS! Kids don’t give a shit about one’s plans. My folks better enjoy their time with these two little monsters. I think I’ve aged ten year and it’s only the first day. The next couple of days should be interesting… ☯️

It’s Not Me, It’s You…

Today marks my family’s second day on our epic journey across Canada and I’m clearly aware that I can’t spend fourteen straight days posting about the trip. I mean, I COULD… But the idea is to maintain a readership, not scare them all away. With that in mind, I’ve decided that I’ll be posting about the trip every few days, after photos and material have been gathered in order for share my thoughts on the trip. With that in mind, let’s get on with today’s post…

Sometimes, navigating society can be pretty difficult. You’re probably think “d-uh,” right? Beyond societal expectations and personal hopes of acceptance, there’s also the little detail that we’re all individuals. Although this should be hailed as a good thing, it also means that each and every one of us has our own thoughts, beliefs, perspective and personalities. The downside to THAT is that we don’t always mix well with those aspects in others, which ultimately leads to us not playing well with others.

Picture this; you’re working with an individual who has been tasked with a project. You’ve been asked to look into that project and determine its status as well as verify the quality of the work. During this verification, you notice that some aspects of the project aren’t quite up to snuff with how it was requested. In a casual and conversational setting, you mention this in passing to the individual working on it. You walk away happy that’s you’re able to clearly discuss this matter and look forward top seeing the updated project.

Some time goes by and you come to realize that you’ve received no updates. Curious and somewhat confused, you reach out to the individual in question and discover that not only have they not updated the project, they’re displeased with “how you addressed them” and don’t wish to communicate with you. You’re utterly confused. You run the scenario in your head and can’t understand what you might have said that could have been interpreted as offensive.

Here’s the thing; you likely didn’t! There’s an old saying that goes something like, “I only control my words, not how you react to them…” I have no idea where the saying stems from, but I’ve heard different versions at different points throughout my life. And it’s pretty accurate. With some people, you can be absolutely sweet as sugar and they’ll still get pissed off at you and think you’ve offended or disrespected them. In most instances, there isn’t much you can do about that. It’s not a “you” problem, it’s a “them” problem.

Now, I used a workplace example for this scenario but it can and does happen in one’s personal life, as well. Sometimes, it can be something as simple as missing a comma in a text message and it changes the tone, causing the recipient to take it offensively, regardless of whether it was intended that way or not. For most, this requires the ability to allow room for clarification of the interpretation rather than getting all snowflake-ish about it. But this isn’t always possible and if you’re the one overreacting about something, you may not be amenable to taking that step. Changing one’s perspective can be difficult.

And ultimately, one needs to ask oneself, even if you didn’t MEAN to offend or disrespect someone, does it genuinely make it any less offensive to the other person? If someone makes a joke or makes light of something they consider comedic but happens to be something personal and sensitive to the other, their feelings are genuine even if you didn’t mean to harm them. It’s pretty easy to sit behind a keyboard and say that one should apologize for the harm, even if it wasn’t intended as such. But this practice can become an exhausting and futile exercise, especially when dealing with individuals in one’s life who become offended and hurt at absolutely everything.

At the end of the day, there’s no easy answer to this scenario. It’s simply one of those things that a person needs to accept and recognize requires some give and take from both sides of the conversation. For the offended party, it’s important to recognize that allowing yourself to have an open perspective on what the intent of the message or action is, is important to proper communication and to prevent unnecessary misunderstandings. For the one relaying the message or performing the words or actions, be willing to view things through the recipients lens and accept that even though you may have done nothing wrong, it doesn’t eliminate the suffering that may have been cause. Food for thought… ☯️

Zero Hour… The Vacation Chronicles.

Here we go. Day 1 of vacation. I haven’t been home in over two years. My parents have never met their second grandson, Alexander. They’ve never met my mother in law, Judy. Today is the first day that we work towards changing that. This morning, my family and I will be piling into the family vehicle and starting the 3-day trek across our wonderful country to make our way to New Brunswick. Some may call me crazy and say that we could have taken a flight and been there in one day. This is true. But then, we’d miss out on the adventure of seeing our country up close. Plus, I’d be a fool to try and deal with any of the fuckin’ airports, right now.

My posts over the next couple of weeks may be shorter than usual. In the interest of sharing the experience with all of you, I’ll be posting as we go along, showing you all the crossing of Provinces, the scenic views in all the fun places we plan to stop. But I WILL be on vacation… I’ll share, but it will be in small doses and on my own time. I have a fantastic USB keyboard and can write posts through my phone. It’l be fine, everyone just calm the fuck down… But seriously, this should be an epic trip for all of us. I look forward to seeing my family back home. And maybe if I’m lucky, a few friends, as well. ☯️

Boy Scouts Aren’t The Only Ones Who Are Always Prepared…

Today is this weird thing called a floating stat holiday. I’m not even sure WHY I have a day off but I ain’t going to refuse it. Today will be a bit of a long day. My family and I will be preparing, packing and prepping for a long drive as we travel across Canada to go visit my family. The amount of pre-planning and preparation is absolutely ridiculous. I need to calculate and estimate how many pieces of each item I need for the two-week absence from home I’ll be on. Not least of which is the fact that I have to maintain a small supply of fast-acting carbs for on the road.

Travelling with type-1 Diabetes comes with it’s own set of challenges. As much as I’d love to just jump in the car and go, I very rarely have that benefit. Ensuring I have insulin and the supplies I need is always the priority when I travel. the only happy caveat is that insulin is no longer a “prescription required” item and I can purchase some if I need to. But without the integral pump parts that I need to replace every three days, I’d be relegated to manual injections, which would send my blood sugars into chaos and prevent a pleasant vacation.

I’ve already got a separate bag, packed with all of my diabetic necessities. Now, I just have to worry about packing my work gear (I’m on vacation but I’m not “on vacation”) and a suitcase with the clothing I’ll need for my time away. Then, I get to set up the cargo box on my roof rack, fill the gas tank and ensure seating will be comfortable and accommodating for the entire family and we should be good to go for tomorrow. The open road is a favoured thing, for me. I look forward to it. But if y’all will excuse me, I need to get to it. My preparations won’t complete themselves. ☯️

Musical Chairs, But With Decades Instead Of Chairs…

One of my oldest and dearest friends proposed a game for our old high school gang to play, a few days ago… He challenged us to provide a list of ten songs from out high school years that we enjoyed. They didn’t have to be in order of importance or favour, but they had to have been released during our high school years. This was an interesting challenge, considering that in high school I was mostly a 70’s and 80’s kind of guy. But I met the challenge, and found ten songs I could provide. Then, the rest of the gang started providing their choices and it opened up my memories and tossed me back to 27 years ago…

Before I get to the lesson this game taught me, I think it would be interesting to provide y’all with the list i came up with. Without judging how old I am, bear in mind that all the songs listed below were released in 1996, which is when I graduated high school:

  1. Macarena – Los Del Rio
  2. Follow You Down – Gin Blossoms
  3. Name – Goo Goo Dolls
  4. The World I Know – Collective Soul
  5. Time – Hootie & The Blowfish
  6. Wonderwall – Oasis
  7. Santa Monica – Everclear
  8. Where It’s At – Beck
  9. That Thing You Do – The Wonders
  10. No Diggity – Blackstreet

The nice thing about this list is that it’s beautifully incomplete. there are so many other songs from my youth that I’ve gained an appreciation for and that I love listening to, even today. My friend Leon named Mr. Jones by Counting Crows, No Rain by Blind Melon, Let Her Cry by Hootie & The Blowfish and certainly not least… If I Had A Million Dollars by Barenaked Ladies. Just about everything by Green Day… So many great choices and so little time…

As with all things in life, there’s a lesson to be learned from this simple game. Much in the same way that I was listening to music from a decade or earlier when I was in the 90’s, I’ve only truly come to appreciate the music from the 90’s in recent years. The nostalgia adds a certain something to the whole equation. The thing of it is, I didn’t appreciate the music from my high school years WHILE I was in high school. It took a couple of decades before I truly started to enjoy the music. I have well over 3,000 songs on my iTunes and growing.

Music has a way of helping with everything. It can calm you when you’re worked up, motivate you when you exercise and soothe you while you meditate. When you add some memories into the bowl, it’s a sure recipe for happiness. In a chaotic world where happiness can be a fleeting thing, a little added boost can go a long, long way. And there’s also something in there about appreciating what you have when you have it. Maybe I could have appreciated some of that wonderful 90’s music, well… back in the 90’s! Instead, I get to enjoy it only through the lens of remembering my youth. Food for thought… ☯️

A Block Is A Block…

In karate and in most styles of martial arts, we perform drills and techniques over and over with the expectation that it will instil muscle memory. That way, in a real scenario where one I attacked by someone else, the block and/or counter-technique will come naturally and without hesitation. If you have to take the time to think about how you’ll block and how you’ll defend yourself, it’s already too late. Although television and movies tend to romanticize long, fancy fights where both participants exchange blows back and forth, a real fight never happens this way.

Despite consistent training and muscle memory, a real confrontation leaves you with so little time to react and protect oneself that technique and smoothness go right out the fuckin’ window. Trust me, I’ve been there. When an opponent’s fist is coming at your face and you only have a microsecond to react. When you block, IF you block and I hope you do, it won’t be perfect. You won’t have the bone alignment or the proper arm position. But whatever you throw out there will be anything more than just taking the strike. And that’s the important thing to remember; it’s not about looking like Bruce Lee in his prime. It’s about blocking the attack in order to protect yourself.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t train consistently. It’s like stretching and warming up. Let’s agree that in a real fight, you won’t have time to stop and stretching out your limbs before getting into it. But if you stretch and train properly, your muscles will be prepared for the explosive movements that may come with a sudden need to defend oneself. The same can be said of one’s blocks. If someone takes a swing at you, as long as you can throw out something that will intercept that swing and keep you from being hurt, that’s all that matters. The muscle memory will still serve you but you need to keep it consistent. ☯️

Polishing Your Horns Won’t Make You A Star

They say a little competition is a good thing. I believe the expression is “healthy competition.” Although this can be fine as long as that competition is for the purposes of fun and is only a game. The problem begins when one’s need for competition extends beyond fun and games and drips into everyday life. If you compete against others in life, you’ll find yourself walking a very lonely path; even if you’re not alone.

The goal of life should be to eliminate suffering; suffering in one’s own life and suffering in other peoples’ lives. If you compete against others for the purposes of personal advancement, comparing yourself to others or for gain, such as money, popularity or status, the only outcome will be suffering. Status in life means nothing. And let’s not mistake status for success; those are two very different things and success can be measured by the efforts and goals you set for oneself. Status is how outside people see you in relation to personal gain. Not so great.

Back in the 1990’s (yes, I’m old) I had my wisdom teeth removed. While I was laid up for a day or two on Tylenol 3’s, I rented a handful of movies to watch. Yes, this was back during a time when you had to actually walk into a retail location, provide your personal information and borrow a playable tape (not DVD) in order to watch it at home. Anyway, I decided to binge on a particular series and rented every Rocky movie I could find. I was a pretty big Sylvester Stallone fan, so it was a no-brainer. There were four movies out, at the time.

When I got to Rocky IV, one of the things I was most amazed with was the soundtrack. One would think that I would have been inspired by the lesson behind the movie, but you can only watch Stallone lose, train and make a comeback then finally defeat one’s enemy before the movies kind of all blend together. Anyway, there’s a song by Survivor called “Burning Heart.” The song was released in 1985, the same year as Rocky IV came out. The movie has some undertones that’s suggestive that the message relates to the Cold War and if I had to guess, I’d say that the song was written specifically for the soundtrack.

Anyway, there’s a particular line in the song that speaks to me and has done so ever since. It goes, “In the warrior’s code, there’s no surrender. Though his body says stop, his spirit cries NEVER! Deep in our soul a quiet ember knows it’s you against you; it’s the paradox that drives us on.” And that’s the message: the true competition is against yourself. Work to be a bit better than you were the day before. Set goals and fight to complete them. As long as you have moved one step closer today than you were yesterday, you’re competing the RIGHT way. But as soon as you compete while comparing yourself to anyone else, the only possible result will be suffering. And that doesn’t work for anybody. Food for thought… ☯️

Trauma And It’s Many Forms

PTSD is no longer the unknown demon that it once was. In recent decades, it’s become better-known and recognize as a genuine illness. And in more ways than one, it’s a physical injury that can actually be measured and seen through medical examination. Unfortunately some people, most people, don’t understand the nature of it, what causes it and often see it as a sig of weakness or someone just complaining about something unpleasant that happened. The truth is much worse and much darker…

I don’t write about my own experiences with PTSD as much as I potentially could. That’s mostly because my methods of coping with my condition somewhat differ from what others would think is effective. Most people lack the time and the patience to learn inner peace and calm, meditation and allow the negative energy to vent out of oneself through martial arts and physical exertion. Modern society enjoys quick, easy solutions. No one believes in playing the long game.

The important thing to remember about PTSD is that it’s subjective. Something that causes a trauma in one person may seem like absolutely nothing or menial to someone else. That’s part of the reason why some people are inclined to ignore or belittle someone when they try to express that their trauma is bothering them or has CAUSED PTSD in them. That’s why no one should ever tell someone else that their trauma isn’t genuine, no matter one’s perspective on whether it SHOULD have affected someone or not. That’s not your choice to make.

The true lesson is to take care of yourself. Find healthy and proper coping mechanisms and stick with them. Talk to someone if you need to and remember that even though it can feel extremely isolating, there are many of us out there and there’s always someone to reach out to. ☯️

The “Eyes” Have It…

I had an interesting change in routine last week, when my eye injections in Saskatoon took place on a Thursday as opposed to a Monday. I have no idea WHY it happened this way; the Monday wasn’t a holiday and my ophthalmologist never indicated he’d be away on that day. Either way, I rather enjoy my ability to see, so I take the appointments when they’re given to me. In this case, it meant that I would need to travel and stay in the city on Thursday night and into Friday morning as opposed to the Monday/Tuesday mix I usually do.

This showed a number of changes, including the fact that the Irish pub I hang out in while my eyes recover, was significantly busier than it usually is on a Monday night. That isn’t great fro someone like me, who prefers to sit in a quiet corner with his beer and binge-watch Netflix while relaxing than hearing a crowd and live music. Most would say, “If you don’t like it then you don’t need to go.” While this is quite true, having almost no ability to see leaves me with limited options for a meal. But I survived. There are worse things in life.

My bigger issue came from my time in the hospital. When I have a scheduled appointment, I make it a point to always be early. I do this for a number of reasons, including getting through sooner if there are cancellations and working through any potential delays. But for my eye injections, my appointments involve a vision text, ocular photographs and freezing BEFORE I have the actual injections. On this occasion, my appointment was scheduled for 3:10 in the afternoon. So, I showed up at 2:30 so that I could pay the cashier (my injections are not covered by my insurance), get through my vision text and ocular photos prior to the actual appointment.

This makes sense in theory. Unfortunately, it only works if other patients follow this concept, as well. Instead, I only got in to my eye exam AT 3:15, minutes after I should have received my injections. I commented on that to the technician who was doing my exam, which she responded that they put patients through in the order of their appointments. Although I tried explaining that I had been here for over forty minutes and should have been put through by now, it fell on deaf ears. One good thing that came out of it and one habit that I’ve gotten into, is asking for the results of my eye pressure test. This involves pushing a small plunger against the surface of the eye to test how much pressure the eyeball is exerting.

Much to my surprise, it’s almost always high. Through careful questions have led to the conclusion that speed-walking to my appointments contribute to that. I was also instructed to loosen my shoulders, take deep breaths and keep my feet on the floor as opposed to on the foot bar. The result is usually much lower pressure readings, which makes me and the medical staff far happier. That being said, my overall wait had me placed into a procedure room more than an hour later than my scheduled appointment. Total bullshit.

It shows a continuous progression of the systemic issues developing within the health care system. I’m just lucky that I’m still able to get my injections and in the hospital I’m used to, from the surgeon I trust. I recently read a news article about a patient who died in the waiting room of a hospital in my home Province of New Brunswick. i read another article where a woman was in chronic pain from an unknown source and her husband drove her to three different hospitals over several hours, just to be told to manage the pain as best she could and see her family doctor the following day. It’s a scary time to get sick.

Ultimately, I got my beer and boneless wings and enjoyed them both while slamming a few episodes of Cobra Kai. need to get boned up before the next part is released in September. But it was just noisy enough and populated enough that I was out and in my hotel room, ready to crash by 8:30 pm. I’m such a party animal. Next time I get scheduled for my injections on a Thursday, I might just stay in my room and order a pizza. Avoid all the hub-bub. ☯️