Author: Shawn

I am a practitioner of the martial arts and student of the Buddhist faith. I have been a Type 1 Diabetic since I was 4 years old and have been fighting the uphill battle it includes ever since. I enjoy fitness and health and looking for new ways to improve both, as well as examining the many questions of life. Although I have no formal medical training, I have amassed a wealth of knowledge regarding health, Diabetes, martial arts as well as Buddhism and philosophy. My goal is to share this information with the world, and perhaps provide some sarcastic humour along the way. Welcome!

Remembrance Day

Today is near and dear in my heart. Not only because my grandfather is, at least to my eyes, a significant hero in that he helped to keep his family and country safe but because several if not all of the family members at my mother’s branch of the family has served in some branch of the military. Even several of my cousins have served, with my cousin Jason tragically dying in an accident on route back to his Air Force base. Now being a veteran myself, although not of the military, Remembrance Day has come to carry even more meaning, as I take the time and opportunity to recognize those who made the ultimate sacrifice to guarantee the rights and freedoms of the modern world.

Today should be important to everyone, not only to remember those who fell in the line of duty but as a reminder of the horrible consequences when war ensues, a fact that more relevant than ever, in today’s climate. It’s easy to sit in a comfortable chair and state that war is never the answer without ever having experienced it. But I have fond memories of spending time with my grandfather as he would share stories of the things he suffered through oversees during World War II. Although I treasured the time with him, I always had a deep appreciation that none of what he suffered through should ever be felt by anyone else, even if many still are even as I write.

My grandfather, Lionel, in military uniform

Let’s make sure we take the time today to observe a moment of silence. We may not have been there and we may not have experienced war, but we have THEM to thank for that. We may not even understand why this day is observed, and that’s okay. One does not need to understand in order to show proper respect. If you value your rights and freedoms as you have them today and believe that we should never surrender when faced with tyranny, thank a veteran. And take the time to observe a moment of silence today. On the 11th hour of the 11th day, we will remember them. ☯️

Learn To Slow Down…

My father would get a great laugh out this, if he could read it… Or maybe he wouldn’t, since he laughs about very little these days but when I was younger, I used to comment to him about how we needed to do more stuff and be more active. Although he didn’t disagree, he often told me that sometimes ones just needs to slow down and appreciate the calmness of life as opposed to constantly burning energy trying to hammer through one’s day. Even though I didn’t agree with him at the time, I have to admit that the old man was on to something and it’s a lesson I am now trying to impart on my own children.

I used to be a slave of the rat race; waking at extreme early hours and usually lacking sleep, hammering through a day and doing more than my fair share just to be considered as “doing my job,” only to return home at night, exhausted and spent with no energy to enjoy the down time that I was earning money to live. My perspective has changed significantly in recent years, especially with time and age beginning to take hold.

For the most part and even once we moved to Regina and I took an administrative role within the RCMP, I would wake at the crack of dawn, prepare lunches for myself and Nathan, shave, shower and bolt out the door in order to get to work early so I could enjoy that first coffee and get through my emails uninterrupted. Then, I would work whatever assigned duties I had for the day. If I was lucky, I would head home at the end of the day. If I had work books or reports to complete, I wouldn’t allow myself to leave until I did so. I would get home in time to shower once again, if I hadn’t done so at work, before letting my head hit the pillow and doing it all over again the next day.

Bearing in mind that this didn’t even include the karate classes I was attending a few nights a week, Sure, I had weekends off but I would usually be so spent and cranky that I would barely get enough rest to be recovered before having to face the follow week and going through all of it again. Not exactly conducive to family life either. Considering I had my children a bit later in life, finding the energy to keep up with them is challenging at the best of times. Trying to do so when exhausted from a full work week is even worse.

Nowadays, my perception of how my day starts has been changed, mainly through personal choices. I still wake at about 6 am but I don’t rush out of bed like a fool. I walk to the kitchen, grab that first gulp of caffeine and diligently prepare Nathan’s lunch. Then, I’ll look through the fridge for leftovers that I can use for my own lunch and prepare that. If she’s up, I’ll say good morning to my wife and we may chat about a thing or two. If I didn’t do so the night before, I’ll grab a hot shower and get dressed for the day. This still sounds like a routine but the difference is I do it over a much longer period of time than I would have before. And that’s okay.

I still get to work somewhat early, but I don’t stress over doing so. If I get there early, great. If not, I don’t worry about it as long as I start my day on time, which I always do. I put in an honest day’s work for the salary I draw, then I go home. Unlike most people, I reserve my evenings and down time for myself, my wife and children. I focus on my fitness and I allow myself to go to bed when I want to sleep as opposed to fighting to stay awake due to some clouded opinion that there isn’t enough time in the day.

The result of these changes has been a calmer self, lower blood pressure and a better overall control of my Diabetes. Life won’t slow down. We all know that. But YOU can still slow yourself down. Take time to stop and smell the flowers. You’ve done yourself and your family a disservice if you die of a heart attack trying to keep up with everything. Or like Ferris Bueller said on his infamous day off, life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. Food for thought…☯️

Ms. Marvel: A Review (Spoilers)

During my youth and even now, I’ve been an avid reader of comic books. Often seen as a touch childish by many, it’s a guilty pleasure that allows a person to escape into the wonder of possibility and answer the question of “what if,” as it relates to superhuman and their powers. I was always partial to the Infinity Gauntlet storyline, which unlike the watered-down MCU film adaption called Infinity War (Which was the second Infinity Gauntlet book, BTW) was a rich storyline loaded with hundreds upon hundreds of characters and sub-plots.

The MCU has done a fantastic job of bringing the comic books to life, starting with 2008’s Iron Man. Although there have been a number of movies and shows based on Marvel Comics in the decades before (Hulk and Spider-man being two of my favourites), the MCU brought comic book heroes into the modern age and rejuvenated the industry. Now that the primary storyline has reached its zenith, the MCU has released a batch of series on streaming services; some good, some bad. One of those is a rather short series based on Ms. Marvel. Let’s discuss…

Contrary to what most non-comic book readers would think, there have been several iterations of Ms. Marvel in the comic books, started all the way back in the late 1970’s. The first to bear the name was actually Carol Danvers, or who MCU followers know as Captain Marvel, from the 2019 MCU film. The current Ms. Marvel, Kamala Khan, is the fourth to take up the name and is the subject of today’s post. Released on Disney+ just this past summer, Ms. Marvel is a short-lived series with only six episodes in its first season.

Although entertaining, the concept of how Kamala gets her powers is a bit convoluted and muddies the flow of the story a bit. She inherits a Bangalore from her grandmother that was left for her by her great-grandmother. After putting it one, it begins to emit a glow and Kamala is exposed to an unknown energy that appears to give her superpowers. These powers fully surface during an incident at a comic-con where Kamala went dressed as Captain Marvel and saves a fellow peer’s life.

From there, the story goes on to see Kamala and her family returns o their home country, examine her origins and discover that she is actually a descendent of the djinn (yes, THOSE ones), which is why the bangal only works for her. Some time travel and family history gets mixed in, there, before Kamala returns to the US where she fights her enemies and tries to save a fellow peer with similar powers from being captured by the government. The season ends after only six episodes with Kamala running off into the night, powers aglow.

The build-up was significantly slow and I feel that there would be plenty of room for character growth, perhaps some deeper delve into how her energy powers actually work. On the one hand, it was a campy, entertaining few episodes that gave me something to watch while I do dishes at night. On the other hand, the story was too short, with only six episodes and no clear indication whether the show will continue or be cancelled.

To have it cancelled would be a shame, considering the character potential and further storylines that could be explored. And I’m a little disappointed at only six episodes. I mean, seriously, they could have maybe had Kamala square off against two enemies in season one, instead of just the one. This could have stretched it out to an even dozen episodes. But what do I know? I’m just a grizzled old comic book reader. Watch Ms. Marvel at your leisure. Although short and sweet, it has the potential to be entertaining. ☯️

The Little Engine That Couldn’t…

Have you ever noticed how finding the motivation to do something is usually difficult, if not all-out impossible? Why do you believe that is? If it’s something one WANTS to do, it would stand to reason that motivation should almost be self-fulfilling, right? But it never is. And there’s a genuine reason for that, that most of us don’t think about. You see, most people go through life assuming that motivation comes first. You’ll often hear one saying, “I need to get motivated to do this…” But that isn’t the way motivation works.

Loosely defined, because I LOVE to loosely define things, motivation means the general desire or willingness to do something. An easy example would be to say that I am motivated to learn karate or motivated to lose some weight and get in better shape. However, contrary to what the average person believes, motivation will almost assuredly never come first. Motivation comes as a result of success, and one can’t have success unless they make a start. Only then will one be motivated by their goals and achievements.

If I use myself as an example, I started karate at a tender young age at what feels like an eternity ago. When I first walked into the dojo, I wasn’t motivated. I wanted to be there, don’t get me wrong. I had goals and ambitions to achieve by starting in it, but I couldn’t rightly say I was motivated by karate. As I started to train and began to see some change brought on by my efforts and started achieving goals, I became motivated to continue, motivated to train harder, motivated to pop my clutch and study like a man possessed, which came about as a result of my success in learning some of the art and becoming proficient.

Had I not experienced that success, I likely would not have been motivated to continue with my training, which is what frequently happens to many people who join. I use this an my example because it’s an easy one, and one that I’ve experienced myself. But this concept applies to just about anything one does in life. Let’s say you decide to want to cycle 55 kilometres in the coming summer. You won’t be “motivated” to reach 500 kilometres; you’ll set the goal for yourself and become motivated to reach your goal once you’ve started to gain mileage and start seeing how your cardio and overall health is starting to increase.

It’s important to think of motivation a bit like momentum. If you try to run, you can’t leave your starting point at full speed. You need to get yourself moving and build up your speed through your own strength. The product of the runner’s mass and speed is what is considered momentum. Much like momentum, motivation can’t be achieved from a starting point; it needs to be fed and grown, and will only be experienced once you’ve reached a certain momentum in your goals and achievements.

Hopefully that makes sense and I haven’t muddied the waters. Too often, I’ve spoken to people who have said, “I’m just not motivated to do it, anymore…” Of course, you’re not! Because you haven’t achieved any of your goals or seen any progress. You won’t be motivated until you do. So if you feel yourself “unmotivated” in any particular thing you’ve undertaken, don’t believe that this is a reason why you should be determined to stop or walk away. A shout out to my friend, Ricky, for the idea to write about this! ☯️

Mother Nature Sure Loves Flippin’ You The Bird…

The changing seasons are a bit of an odd duck, since we al know they’re coming, we all expect it but yet it somehow still feels like a shock to the system when we wake up to that first blanket of white bullshit in the front yard. Winter has always been the less-preferred season for me. I know that for the most part, summer can be tougher because you can only wear so much less clothing before you have to deal with some of my former colleagues, if you go outdoors. At least in the cold, you can add layers until you’re adequately dressed for the weather. Winter stuck its middle finger up at me when it decided to strike with a vengeance, last weekend.

While some friends and family back in New Brunswick were posting photos of 22 degree weather and fire pits back home, we were experiencing -10 and storm-level winds and snow. It started on Saturday and carried on well into the night, which was brutal. Blowing snow, howling winds and thick, two-foot deep snowdrifts by morning. The light bless my next door neighbour for using his snowblower on both our driveways. I honestly don’t think I’d survive the winter without the help of neighbours. But Sunday was supposed to involve a quick trip to Costco for me and my toddler, followed by a couple of hours of fun and play at an indoor climbing gym. I don’t get to spend a great deal of time with my toddler, since my older son usually monopolizes most of my time.

When we hit the streets on Sunday morning, I found cars and even city buses stuck in massive snow drifts. By the time we had driven a third of our way to Costco, I realized I should have turned back and gone home, if turning around wouldn’t have likely meant drifting off the road as well. We made our way to Costco but came straight home afterwards. Winter is upon us and I don’t think we’ll see any signs of it leaving until next spring, which is why it’s important to remember a few key points as it relates to health & fitness, as well as proper control of type-1 Diabetes.

It stands to reason that effectively EVERYTHING affects blood sugar levels. There are multiple reasons for this, which I won’t try to explain in this post. But if you’re walking or spending time outdoors in colder weather, you need to be aware that it may cause your blood sugars to drop. You can add to that, if you plan on shovelling or pelting your son with snowballs. If you’re shovelling and have reached an adult age, it’s important to recognize that shovelling heavy snow can cause cardiac issues. Stay hydrated, take breaks and don’t overexert yourself.

Last but not least, don’t forget about our good ol’ friend, the sun. People tend to forget that even if it’s freezing cold out there, the sun’s rays are still hitting you and exposed flesh will still burn. If you intend on being outside in the elements on a sunny day, even during the winter, applying sunscreen is a good idea. There’s no getting away from winter (especially if you live in Canada), so it’s important to remember to be prepared. Check your blood sugars regularly (you should be doing that anyway), stay hydrated, mind the sun and keep yourself warm and dry. That way, we can get through the next six to eight months unscathed. ☯️

Walking Off Into The Sunset…

When people think of quitting something, they usually associate it with giving up. On the extremes side, people associate quitting with cowardice or abandoning something they should keep hammering at. That’s why we always see little quips like “winners never quitting” and such. And while I can agree that one should never quit something if it will compromise one’s goals, there are circumstances under which walking away from something is not only acceptable, but ideal.

When one decides to undertake something important in their life, it can become all-consuming. For example, if you decide to work on your fitness and get into shape, there’s a lot of perseverance and sacrifice that needs to happen. Quitting will prevent you from reaching your goals and it’s important to work through the obstacles and difficult aspects of that particular goal if you expect to achieve it. This can be the same with work goals, dietary goals and any achievement-based art, such as karate.

When I joined karate in the late 1980’s (Yes, I’m old as time. Moving on!) I did so with the intention and motivation to save my own life. Type-1 Diabetes was consuming me and I had complications that put me in very real danger of losing my life. My goal in joining the martial arts was two-fold: increase my overall health and learn to defend myself. I can admit that over the past 34 years, I have not only accomplished those goals but I’ve exceeded them in ways that I never would have expected.

What’s important with something like karate is that you CAN’T quit if you expect to progress and learn the art. But you should only be doing the art if it lights a fire inside you and you’re passionate about it. If that fire goes out and the passion dwindles, it becomes tedious and almost onerous to try and continue, and it can lead to being more of a hindrance to the overall art than contributing to it. It is at that point where one needs to take a serious look at oneself and consider that walking away may be the viable solution.

At some point in life, and I’m specifically referring to myself, one reaches an age and state of physical being that also no longer accommodates the stresses and rigours on the body required to actively participate in the martial arts. Granted, I never assumed I would reach that point in my 40’s but Diabetes is a hell of an inhibitor. Recent injuries and health matters have brought me full circle to where I understand that maybe fighting people half my age in the dojo is no longer a goal of mine. I’m still passionate about the martial arts but I fear the fire inside may have gone out.

At some point, this happens to all martial artists. Even Sensei, decades ago, had a point where he simply stopped coming to class. The dojo was managed by a couple of the senior belts in his absence. It was a scary time, since none of us knew if he’d come back. Eventually, he found his perspective and renewed sense of purpose and came back. In my early 20’s, I gave up and quit karate for several months as a result of my body no longer keeping up with the same speed as I had in my teens. I went back, of course. But if that was in my 20’s, can you imagine what my body feels like now?

I guess the point is that nothing in this life is ever truly over until one chooses it to be so. I may be walking away right now, but I will never truly QUIT karate. I can’t. I’ve been doing it for so long, it’s in my blood and part of my DNA. This is proven by watching how my 3-year old throws a punch without ever having been taught. So, who knows? Maybe after a period of reflection and contemplation, I will see fit to return to the dojo and train with others. I’ve been walking this journey alone for so long now that maybe the dojo is no longer a suitable environment for me to train. Time will tell.

A person’s reasons are their own. If you feel the need to quit something, whether it’s that job you hate or a sport or hobby you no longer wish to participate in, be true to what you need for yourself. My karate training will continue. The arena in which I participate will simply be different. I’m not fading away, I’m simply walking away; potentially to start a new chapter. ☯️

Lucky 13…

13 years ago, I was sworn in as a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. I received my badge and swore my oaths before being stationed here in Saskatchewan to protect the people of Canada. It was a gruelling 26 weeks of intense training, including being up before dawn, training and studying until midnight or later and doing it all over again. I walked onto the academy grounds at about 185 pounds and graduated at 165 pounds. It was intense and I acknowledge that not everyone makes it through. I have to admit that there were times where even I thought I wouldn’t make it, and we all know how stubborn and tenacious I am. But I digress…

One of the things that helped make it bearable, is my pit-partner. I remember arriving at Depot late on a Sunday evening. beds within the dorm were already assigned to us by name and I found my pit right away. Some scrawny, shy-looking dude was sitting in the pit next to mine. I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t remember his name. Long story short, he mustered out within the first week. I’m, not sure why he left, I just know that he wasn’t terminated. Light knows we were too early in the program for anyone to get terminated. The following week, I was greeted by my new pit partner who would go on to have a significant impact on the next six months and my success in the program: Blair “Mambo” Mombourquette.

Blair was the right combination of pit partner; equal parts sarcasm, comedy and strength of will. We quickly became friends and started enjoying every weekend hanging out together off base, as well. I even got to meet some of his family who lived in the Regina area, which would come to impact my life in a significant way as well. All in all, Blair made the basic training experience enjoyable and I often feel I may not have made it through, had I been paired up with anyone else. As is the RCMP way, we parted ways once we graduated. I got posted to Saskatchewan and he went on to be posted in Manitoba and subsequently, Nova Scotia.

Although I managed to visit him once at his initial posting as I travelled from New Brunswick to Saskatchewan, all these years have passed without us ever seeing each other. That is, until last Sunday. Blair flew out to British Columbia so that he and his son could drive across the country, back to Nova Scotia. They stopped in Regina with intentions to stay the night, last Sunday. I picked them up and we grabbed dinner at a local restaurant, shared a few drinks and reminisced about the “good ol’ days.” There are few precious opportunities for such things in life, so it was good to remember some of the good times, the training and the fond memories.

It was nice to look back and share some time with someone who was there. Out of all of my troop, there are really only a few that I got close to and that I believe would understand everything I’ve been through. Blair is one of those people. I have some photos of us, buried somewhere in my old barrack boxes. A good blogger would probably dig them up and include them here. Honestly, I think I’m just going to enjoy the new memories, mixing with the old. Sometimes, the good memories are all we truly have that makes us rich in this life. Food for thought… ☯️

Mornings Suck…

Does anyone ever really like getting up in the morning? It’s one of those things where many if not most people dislike the prospect of hitting the Sacco when they could watch that “one more episode,” or read another chapter, finish a hobby they’re working on, etc… But once we’re in bed, assuming we’re able to get to sleep, rising for the next day can be a tedious and bothersome affair.

For someone with Type-1 Diabetes, waking up in the morning is a like a bowling ball balancing on the head of a pin; depending on how the previous night went and how much sleep one has obtained, waking for the day can be downright tortuous and can fall in either direction. It always seems to be worse when I’m trying to plan something that should, theoretically happen during the morning hours. This is a hard lesson I learned last weekend. and of course, now I’m going to tell you about it.

“What A Disgrace It Is For Man To Grow Old Without Ever Seeing The Beaty And Strength Of Which His Body Is Capable.”

– Socrates

Recently, I’ve come to a certain number of negative realities that I am unhappy about. The biggest is that in 2009, I left my home Province to come out to Saskatchewan to protect the public as a police officer. Although I chose this career path for a number of reasons, including reducing people’s overall suffering as much as I can, there’s no denying that these choices did some damage that can never be repaired. Most namely, I have no school of Uechi Ryu in close proximity, meaning I’ve been training in karate mostly on my own over the last decade and a half.

Given that I’m slowly crawling my way towards an older age, not that I’m quite an old man yet, I’ve started to notice certain things. These things include the fact that I’ve slowed down significantly from how I used to be, especially within the dojo. I’m taking strikes where I would have blocked and countered with ease, even just a few years ago. I also take much longer to heal, which is a real pain (pun intended). Recovery time can cause delays in training and can make it really hard to get ahead.

By virtue of this and the fact that I’m tired of being unable to breathe when I lean over to tie my shoes, I spent several hundred dollars on fitness equipment for my home, last Saturday. Almost two years ago, I had a significant amount of fitness equipment in my basement, which I sold due to our basement being demolished and renovated and because there was some thought that my family and I might move back to New Brunswick. Obviously, that never happened but now that the basement is brand-spanking new, it was time to revisit getting some of that equipment back.

Because my motivation was anger-based, I may or may not have spent far more money in one sitting than I reasonably should have. I purchased a curling bar, weight plates, heavy dumbbells, a step-up bench, 10-pound ankle weights and a floor mat. There are a few other things that I grabbed as well that I just can’t think of, right now. I got back home with all of my expensive wares on top of the few items my wife had asked me to pick up, and got to work setting up everything, which included a storage shelf to hold everything.

Once I had everything set up, I had already worked up a sweat and it was discussed that my wife and I would perform a respective workout the following day where I would get to play and try my new equipment. Early in the Sunday afternoon, after getting home from doing our weekly groceries, I put on some bitchin’ music and hammered out forty minutes of my best, sweat-filled workout. It was glorious. It also prompted a “good” idea on my part…

I decided that I would start setting my morning alarm 30 minutes sooner than usual so that I could perform a brief resistance workout in the morning before going to work. It sounds like a good idea in concept. I wake up, hammer out a brief weight circuit, grab a shower and throw lunches together before rolling into the office with the glow of post-workout bliss to get me through my morning… Sounds promising, right? Life rarely cares about one’s plans…

On Sunday night, we made our way to bed a bit late by virtue of laundry and certain chores. Then, my wife and I both tossed and turned throughout the majority of the night. I also had low blood sugar at one point. Then, when i finally fell into a deep sleep, my pump alarm went off. It seems as though fate conspired against me. By the time the morning rolled around, we reset alarms to eat up the half hour we would have woken to exercise in favour of a bit more sleep.

On Monday morning, any thoughts of working out went out the window. And this is something that happens quite frequently, thanks to good old T1D. Luckily, I was able to hammer out a workout in the evening, once I got home. It dawns on me that, given the requirement to keep my blood sugars balanced and the need for proper rest, working out in the morning may not be a viable option for me. This sucks, because I frequently have karate classes in the evening that would prevent me from using my equipment at home.

Fitness is a delicate balance of time, effort and physical capability, all of which will affect blood sugars levels in some given way, shape or form. That’s why it’s so important to find a time and a method that works well for you. Every person is different. As much as I would love to work out, first thing in the morning, it just doesn’t seem feasible, given the chaotic nature of how my nights run. I’ll just have to be satisfied with the occasions where I can work out on non-karate nights. ☯️

Let’s “Tip” The Scales, Shall We?

People’s money is usually quite important to them, and for good reason. For most of us, money is something we spend at LEAST 40 hours a week trying to earn and in most cases, much longer. So it stands to reason that the majority of people don’t enjoy losing some of their hard-earned cash for reasons they are forced to. This would be why everyone and their dog complains about paying bills and taxes. But there’s one form of monetary loss that is often written about in media that gets my core temp up: tipping.

Tipping is a controversial subject in most circles, with many people against it, some are for it and some believe it’s subjective to the service they receive. I fall in the latter category, which is why this blog post is categorized only as an “opinion.” My thoughts on this topic may not be popular but in the interest of free speech, I’ll share them anyway. Buckle up and feel free to scroll past, if this is not something you want to read about. I promise we’ll be back to the status quo tomorrow.

So what is tipping? Simply put, a tip or “gratuity” is the act of providing a small amount of money to someone who has provided you with a product or service. This is usually above and beyond whatever the total cost is for the product or service. Tipping is nothing new. In fact, an article I read well over a decade ago once said that tipping originates from England in the 1700’s, where customers could drop coins in a box that was labeled “To Insure Promptness,” or TIP. The idea was that you would receive a tip in exchange for better service.

It’s application in the modern world and in recent years has become a bit more ominous. In many circles, tipping has almost become a mandatory practice when visiting particular business where a consumer is served in any way. To be clear, tipping is not mandatory in Canada but it’s become an expectation and in some Provinces, a server’s wages are based on the expected receipt of a percentage in tips from customers, which is a bunch of nasty nonsense. I first experienced this back in 2006 when I travelled to Ottawa and stayed in Gatineau, Quebec, for the first time.

I made my way out with some friends during that first evening and ordered a beer. When it arrived, I was told by the others in my party that each drink had to be paid individually and at time of service. Fair enough, I paid. Then the waitress, with far more rudeness than what one would expect from someone asking for such a thing, promptly told me the tip wasn’t included in the cost and stood there, obviously expecting a tip. I looked at her blankly for a second, completely taken aback, before dropping some remaining change on her tray to accommodate her.

So shocked and taken aback was I by the interaction, I only had the one drink in order to avoid a confrontation. I was much calmer and more timid back then, than I am now. If someone tried that bullshit on me now, they’d get a surprise, alright. It just might not be a tip. I was later informed that wages in Quebec were often lower in anticipation of tips. I was floored. Tips are not meant to be part of a server’s salary! Are you kidding me? No wonder that Province has to do absolutely everything different from the rest of the country. And why I only lived there for roughly a year or so. Foolishness.

Realistically and traditionally, a tip is intended as a means of thanking your server or supplier for the excellent service they provided and shouldn’t be expected. If the service was sub-par or poor, the expectation was that a tip wouldn’t be provided. Beyond that, providing a tip is meant to not only be the choice of the consumer but how much is left also is not meant to be debated or expected. If all I happen to have on me is an added dollar and I choose to leave it, that added dollar should be appreciated as opposed to considered rude because it isn’t a certain percentage of the total bill.

And let’s address that aspect for a moment, shall we? When did it become a thing to consider it RUDE not to providing a specific percentage of one’s hard-earned money to someone else, ABOVE and BEYOND the total bill? Some of y’all need a serious reality check. The part I dislike the most is when a tip is expected BEFORE the delivery of a service, such as having pizza delivered. There’s always a tip portion to the online payment, which is comical since I have no idea yet what the service of the food will be like or if my order would be deserving of a tip. Did I say foolishness yet?

So why is this a problem? Well realistically, the practice of tipping has drastically changed over recent decades. Where leaving a tip was once the consumer’s choice and considered a compliment to one’s service provider, it’s almost become a mandatory expectation, with many people posting online things like, “Don’t tip your server and see what kind of food or service you get…” Excuse me? I’m pretty sure I’m still paying for that product or service and am still entitled to the same level and quality of product as the person who may have 20% available to provide their server.

Although not necessarily the server’s fault and while it’s not always possible to just “get another job if you’re not paid enough” (everyone’s circumstances are different, after all), the root problem is two-fold. On the one hand, employers shouldn’t be paying a lower wage because their employees receive tips. Tips are intended as an added reward for good service, not as part of their salary. On the other hand, consumers shouldn’t be almost bullied or cornered into tipping by virtue of that, either.

Did you know that there are places where tipping shows up on the bill without the consumer choosing it? Some retail locations now, even have a tipping option on the display tablet when paying. Nothing more awkward than being asked to tip and choose a percentage while the retail worker is awkwardly watching and knows what button you’re pressing. No pressure there. Although the consumer should never be obligated to tip, nor should the server or employee be paid based on tips, either.

Folks, I have absolutely no illusions of winning this battle. It’s one of those things where going against societal expectations is like holding a napkin against an ocean wave. What needs to happen, what should happen, is employers should pay their staff and employees a reasonable salary that allows them to live without depending on tips to do so. And customers should only be expected to pay the actual cost of the product or service they’re trying to obtain. Making it feel like an obligation goes against the intended purpose of a tip. Food for thought… ☯️