Author: Shawn

I am a practitioner of the martial arts and student of the Buddhist faith. I have been a Type 1 Diabetic since I was 4 years old and have been fighting the uphill battle it includes ever since. I enjoy fitness and health and looking for new ways to improve both, as well as examining the many questions of life. Although I have no formal medical training, I have amassed a wealth of knowledge regarding health, Diabetes, martial arts as well as Buddhism and philosophy. My goal is to share this information with the world, and perhaps provide some sarcastic humour along the way. Welcome!

Don’t Stop… Believin’…šŸŽ¶

The past few months have had quite a negative impact on my overall health and fitness. Considering the flood damage to my basement, which took away my workout space, to having everything we had IN the basement moved out to the garage, thereby taking away my backup workout space, my four to six workouts a week have pretty much melted down to nonexistence. Include the fact that the temperatures here in Saskatchewan have fallen into the minuses and there’s snow and frost on the ground, making it impractical to go cycling and the fact that my dojo still hasn’t re-opened due to COVID-19, and I’ve slowly been turning into a couch potato.

My wife and I had started a routine where we would do yoga stretching in the mornings, once Nathan had gone to school. But depending on work obligations and how fussy our 1-year old infant might be on a given day, even those have slowly taken the wayside. It also doesn’t help that recent months have seen me include CGM and Auto Mode into the mix, and any new Diabetic therapy always has the potential to be touch-and-go during the first months. So working out with all of this going on has been a challenge. And the results are visible and very much felt…

I often write about all the benefits and the good things that happen when you work out consistently, but most people don’t consider the effects that may happen when you stop. Or even if you never started in the first place. I know some people that have essentially never worked out before and never had the inclination, as they’re in good health and their weight seems manageable. Does this mean they don’t NEED to work out? Absolutely not; everyone should include fitness in their weekly routine in one form or another.

There are a number of things that will happen to you physically, as well as psychologically, if you suddenly stop working out and exercising. There are plenty of good articles online that will describe the exact details, but I’m providing my personal list, based on my metabolism and the fact I have Type-1 Diabetes:

  1. Blood sugar control will be altered: This is a pretty big one for someone with Type-1 Diabetes, because it took me all summer to condition my system and get my blood sugar levels controlled to endure 70-kilometre bike runs or 2-hour karate workouts. Now that those have ground to a halt, some of my blood sugar readings have been higher than they should be, since I’m no longer exercising and burning as many calories as I used to. Which brings me to my next point…;
  2. Your body will store more fat: You use two primary forms of energy in your body. Carbohydrates, which is the immediate energy source you obtain by eating your meals. The second are your fat stores, which are only accessed during rigorous exercise. Carbs are a temporary energy source and need to be constantly replenished, whereas fat stores offer a wonderful amount of energy but won’t burn unless you do. So less exercise means that fat will more readily stick to your body;
  3. Cholesterol and Insulin resistance: Lack of exercise means bad cholesterol goes up and good cholesterol goes down. Brutal, right? That’s without taking diet into consideration. And your insulin sensitivity will decrease as well, meaning you’ll need more insulin to process the same amount of carbs as before you stopped exercising;
  4. Your endurance will vanish: Your endurance is one of the first things to start decreasing when you stop working out. The only silver lining to this one, is that it’s quick to come back once you commit yourself to training again. But it definitely makes it harder to work out as intensely as you did before, which is why it’s important to maintain certain levels;
  5. Your mood and sleep will be altered: I could go on a long rant about the hormones and endorphins that are released in the body during exercise, but that would be a hell of a long rant and that isn’t why we’re here, today. Suffice it to say that quitting exercise will adversely affect your mood, make you more prone to seasonal depression, irritability and feelings of worthlessness. Not least of which is the fact that your sleep pattern will be all screwed up. Ever notice your level of exhaustion after a long night of cycling or working out? Once you’ve taken that hot shower, it doesn’t take long for a person to pass out once their head hits the pillow;
  6. Your self-image will be affected: Let’s be honest with each other… You may not have a goal in mind to join the olympics or look like a supermodel. Perhaps you do and if so, good for you. But your fitness is your responsibility and you only get out of it what you’ve put in. And one must admit that having that gut start poking out when you’ve been used to being in decent shape can have a negative effect on your self-image.

People work out and exercise for different reasons. Some do it for health, some do it for sport, some even teach particular skills, like martial arts. And there’s really no bad reason for working out, but there are bad reasons for stopping. Life and obligations get in the way and let’s be honest; some days we just don’t feel like it. But it’s like trying to ice skate uphill… sometimes it’s a slippery slope, but you’ll never reach the top unless you keep on pushing. ā˜Æ

“Maybe I Won’t Be All The Things That I Want To Be”

Life doesn’t care about your plan. There is no such thing as an expected schedule in nature, and all things happen within the scope of one’s life, not a specific timeframe. One of the sadder things I’ve seen in my life is friends or family who are rushing and stressing to reach certain milestones in their lives because they believe it’s expected of them or they HAVE to do it, in order to be considered socially normal. Well, screw that noise…

The reality is that everyone’s journey is different and everyone’s life is unique. What works well for one may not work well for another, and vice versa. Just because the folks you graduated high school with, have Bachelor’s Degrees, spouses and children by the time they’re 30 years old doesn’t mean that’s a standard one should aspire to. There are no hard and fast rules that say you HAVE to get a certain job or you NEED to get married and have kids by a certain age. Things will happen for you in their own time and trying to manifest destiny won’t get you there faster; it will simply cause you more stress and suffering.

One good example I can think of, are an aunt and uncle of mine in New Brunswick. They’ve been together for over 30 years. They’ve never gotten married, but they’ve always been together, own a house together (which they built themselves) and have always lived as man and wife, despite not being married. Sure, they’ve been poked and teased by family throughout the years with the usual question of, “Why aren’t you married yet?” But life worked for them the way they were doing it, even if it fell outside the typical social paradigm.

Now, they went ahead and got married, a couple of years ago when they found out that it would make things easier for end-of-life requirements and for legal issues arising from either one of them passing away. A pretty morbid reason to get married! But realistically, they were happy with the life they had and they suffered no greater because of it.

The flip side to this concept is that BECAUSE life doesn’t care about your plan, you may not always end up doing what you want to do or being what you want to be. I’d love to live in a two-storey log cabin on the side of a fresh-water lake, spending my days meditating, reading and doing karate. But instead, I’m writing this post sitting in a house I can’t seem to sell while sledgehammers are diligently tearing apart my basement for foundation repairs.

The important thing to remember is to continue to work towards the goals you WANT, not the goals you think you NEED or that others may have implanted in your head. Certain key people in my life were of the opinion I should never have gotten into my chosen profession but this was my journey, not theirs. I shudder to think where I’d be today, had I listened to some of the nay-sayers. It may not all work out perfect, but the good news is it will work out. Life is a “one day at a time” kind of puzzle. ā˜Æ

Winter Wonderland, My Ass!

I have to be honest, I’m not a big fan of the winter. Although there’s a certain appeal to the freshness of winter cold, being cold in and of itself is a pain in the ass. I unfortunately find myself in the same category as the folks who complain about the heat in the summer and complain about the cold weather in the winter. This is the reason why I was less than enthused when I woke up to find the world outside my window blanketed in white, last Tuesday.

The view from Nathan’s bus stop last Tuesday

Nathan and I usually have a bit of a routine, when it comes to mornings. He wakes up and does his bathroom business, followed by getting dressed. By the time he emerges, I usually have some breakfast waiting for him, which he enjoys while watching some cartoons. This gives me the time to prepare his school lunch and get dressed myself. We end up leaving the house about ten minutes prior to his school bus’ scheduled arrival in the event that it arrives early. We’ve gotten used to this routine. We’re comfortable with it.

So nobody really batted an eye beyond mentioning that there was snow on the ground. My wife was working at her computer and Nathan was enjoying his breakfast and morning cartoons as usual, and I was checking the weather. At minus 10 degrees Celsius, it was a long ways away from being as cold as deep winter gets in Saskatchewan. But minus 10 with snow and wind was enough o convince me to slip on an Under Armour thermal for the journey out to the bus stop.

It wasn’t until I was ready to tell Nathan to shut off his cartoons and come get ready that I realized that I couldn’t send him to school in sneakers and a hooded sweater as he had been wearing in recent weeks. He needed boots, due to the snow and an actual jacket and winter hat to protect him from the cold. Suddenly I found myself in a mad scramble to locate these items as I hadn’t anticipated their need. If I’d been smart, I would have taken them out the night before. But these is me, we’re talking about! I consistently stub my toe on items that have been in the same place for years.

Saskatchewan is a bit of a different creature than my home Province of New Brunswick. Although we get some pretty significant snowfalls in New Brunswick (some years, I’ve seen snow get as deep as ten feet) we generally don’t deal with extreme cold. Winters are reasonably mild, despite the snow. But in Saskatchewan, there may be less snow but the temperatures can easily drop to -50 degrees Celsius or colder, once the wind is factored in.

We still made the bus on time, which is one of the benefits of always arriving early. But neither one of us was enthused about the cold. The last couple of days have seen us walking to the bus stop, as my wife is currently staying with family while our basement repairs take place. But that’s a post for another time. The important thing is I have us all wintered up, clothing-wise. Some of the snow has melted already, but it’s clear that winter may already be here to stay. ā˜Æ

Let’s Get Dirty

Sex. Alright, now that I’ve got your attention, let’s talk about, well… sex. For the most part, people avoid talking about sex, for a variety of reasons. Either from embarrassment, shyness or awkwardness, it’s usually a taboo subject for most folks. But it’s one of those things that’s part of the human condition. And if you have Type-1 Diabetes, it can be an even more awkward thorn in your side.

Honestly, today’s post isn’t necessarily about the difficulties Type-1 Diabetes causes during sexual encounters. I covered that off in-depth during a previous post I wrote, Cue The Barry White Music… So I won’t get too deep into those complications. However, I’ll provide that those difficulties include high or low blood sugars, neurological and blood vessel damage can lead to sexual organ difficulties in women and erectile difficulties in men.

No, I’m here to discuss the old myth that “sex before a big game” is a bad idea. There’s a standing tradition in the sporting world, and even martial arts, that having sex during training or before a big event will increase one’s chance of defeat. Well, I hate to break it to all those old school coaches, but nothing could be further from the truth.

“Women Weaken Legs!”

– Mickey Goldmill, Rocky (1976)

There was a really good article posted by National Geographic, that explains the majority of the benefits behind the practice as opposed to the perpetuated myth. But I couldn’t read it through without entering my email and joining a list, which I wasn’t willing to do. Sex lowers blood pressure, increases one’s immune system, improves sleep patterns and is even considered a natural form of pain-relief. There’s also a measurable release of testosterone, which can actually help one win a big fight as opposed to losing it.

One of my favourite athletes, Ronda Rousey, is quotes as saying that having sex “raises your testosterone so I try to have as much sex as possible before I fight, actually.” For Rousey, an increased level of sex before a big match is not only part of her routine but an important part in helping to ensure a victory. Although she’s referring mostly to increasing testosterone in female fighters, she also doesn’t hold much faith in male fighters’ belief that sex drains your testosterone. In fact, she feels that long-term abstinence will result in producing less testosterone, overall.

You can read the entire article on Business Insider, which also includes a link to the National Geographic article, if you’re game to add your email to a mailing list. But the reality is that the perpetuated myth that sex before the big game is bad just isn’t accurate. Or true. Good news for some. Not so much for others. Research shows that indulging in a “solo act” won’t release the same levels of oxytocin or provide all the same benefits as having an active partner. But I digress…

As a martial artists, I feel it important to point out that abstaining from sex for any length of time for the purpose of “improving” your training is absurd and unnecessary. As a Type-1 Diabetic I feel it’s important to advise that if you believe that having sex is forthcoming, which may be presumptuous (a point I made in my linked post above) you’ll want to ensure your blood sugar levels are controlled, you have fluids and fast-acting glucose at your disposal in case you need it and be mindful of where your equipment is located if you’re a pump user. ā˜Æ

Do What You Love

Almost twenty years ago (from what I recall), Sensei made a rather drastic change in his life. He had spent the previous decades in various levels of law enforcement and had been working at the head correctional officer for a municipal jail. At some point, he faced some work-related issues that ironically, are eerily similar to my own. But he took this opportunity to knuckle down and try to find something he wanted to do that would make him happy.

I remember him coming to karate class and being full of piss and vinegar (more so than usual) and talking about the research he was doing and the studies he had begun. I didn’t understand most of it at the time, but ultimately he was studying to transition into a career involving Chinese Medicine, Herbology and Acupressure. Much to my dismay, he transformed his home dojo into a clinic and once he graduated all the certifications he needed in order to do so, he bang taking in clients and stepped down from his current career.

I say it was to my dismay, because I had passed a number of belt tests in that dojo and changing it into a clinic meant I wouldn’t be passing my black belt there. Which I didn’t. Unfortunately. But hey, good for him! I asked him why he chose acupressure over the more popular and recognized acupuncture, to which he replied that he preferred the personal touch it involved, as opposed to jabbing someone with a bunch of surgical needles.

My point is that once his clinic was in full swing and things were picking up, I asked him how things were going. He said, “I’m doing something I love and enjoy, five days a week. It provides me with income to live and I get to continue doing it. So ask yourself, if I love what I do, and the money is coming in on its own, when am I doing actual ‘work’?” His choice of words and the look of serenity on his face have not only echoed in the back of my mind over the years, I’ve been hearing it prominently over the past two or three.

“Choose A Job You Love, And You Will Never Have To Work A Day in Your Life.”

– Confucius

It can be difficult, painful even, to try and find a career that you want to do with something that you LOVE to do. But if you manage to find it, you no longer have to concern yourself with money as it will come on its own. You simply need to keep doing what you love; whether that means owning your own business, being in law enforcement or working as a mortician. Not everything if for everybody, so the challenge comes from finding what’s right for you.

To this day, Sensei still has his clinic open. Pandemic issues aside, of course. In fact, his choice of career inspired his son to study and take up acupressure and open a clinic of his own, as well. Besides doing what they love, it also puts them in that coveted employment category of being business owners, which has its shares of ups and downs, of course. But the point is that if you go into work everyday, unhappy and unsatisfied with what you’re doing, maybe it’s time for a change. There’s like to be something better waiting you, just around the corner. ā˜Æ

The Cold Reality Of Winter

Winter is coming! I’m not really a Game Of Thrones fan, but I love that line. Granted, I’ve never actually seen it as I don’t have cable. I am, however, a pretty big fan of the Rocky movies, which probably dates me more than I care to admit. But the one that comes to mind is the fourth instalment, where the antagonist kills one of Rocky’s best friends during an boxing match and Rocky travels to Russia to train for a revenge fight.

In this movie is likely one of the best winter training montages I’d ever seen at the time and even since then. With Vince Dicola’s “Training Montage” playing in the background, you can see Rocky using unorthodox training methods to build and develop himself in preparation for his fight against Drago (played by Dolph Lundgren). I included a YouTube video of the scene I’m referring to. Now would be a good time to point out that I have no ownership in the video nor am I responsible for it; it’s just a linked video I found on YouTube.

The scene actually demonstrates a clear difference between intensive training using machinery and a comfortable environment versus using the elements and whatever one has at their disposal. And now that I’m writing about it, I need to find a copy of this damn movie so I can watch it again! But in all seriousness, it got me to thinking about the effects of training in a cold weather environment.

First of all, let me just say that I’m a bit of a fussy bastard when it comes to temperature. I don’t like it when the temperature is very cold and I don’t like it when the temperature is very warm. So I’m basically screwed, all year long, living in Saskatchewan. But realistically speaking, I’ve found myself training in just about every climate and temperature I have available to me, and a couple that I don’t.

What I mean by the latter, is that when I travelled to Japan in 2001, we trained almost every day in 40 degree weather. It felt tropical to us, but it was autumn to the Okinawans. I was drinking litres upon litres of water and rarely went to the washroom. My body was literally using the hydration as fast as I could provide it. But the flip side to this, and the purpose behind this post, is that I’ve also gone running in snow storms. Not recently, mind you. I’m old as disco, now.

Back when I was training for my black belt, I would get off work at 1 in the morning, head home, change into workout gear and grab my walkman (think iPod, but much bigger) and circumvent my hometown of Dalhousie. This made for about 10 kilometres of running in wintery conditions, which is not a lot by my cycling standards. But I guarantee that it felt like forever while I was doing it. It probably doesn’t help that Dalhousie stands on the side of a reasonably steep hill that slopes down into the Restigouche Bay, so there was a fair bit of uphill running.

Let’s start on a positive note, because I am frequently way more negative than I should be, and let’s discuss the benefits of training in extreme cold weather. According to a post written by Dr. Adam Tenforde for the Harvard University website, working out in colder weather can help improve your endurance as “your heart doesn’t have to work as hard, you sweat less, and expend less energy, all of which means you can exercise more efficiently.”

The article goes on to explain how working out in the winter can give you some exposure to sunlight, which people tend to get much less of during the winter, as well as helping to transform certain areas of white fat, like the stomach and thighs, into a calorie-burning fat. This can be helpful if you’re like me and are struggling to tone down some of the “Micheline effect” I seem to have developed in my midsection.

Another benefit is that if you have a preferred trail that you run on, you’ll likely have it to yourself as most people have an unfortunate aversion to working out in the cold and likely won’t be sharing your enthusiasm. Now, if only I could guarantee the trail around Wascana Lake would be vacant and ice-free, I’d bike around that bad boy all winter! But I digress…

Since all the world is balance, we wouldn’t have the positive if not for the negative. So let’s cover off some bad aspects. If you have an underlying or chronic medical condition, cold weather training may not be for you. Listen to me, I sound like one of those commercials for a new prescription drug. “Talk to your doctor, if you think that running outdoors and freezing like a dumb ass may be right for you…” But seriously, things like heart conditions, asthma and many others can be adversely affected by pushing yourself when it’s cold outside.

Next, one needs to consider all the typical wintery hazards such as frostbite, which can affect any patch of exposed skin, hypothermia and even dehydration. Yes, that’s right! You can dehydrate in the cold; it’s not just an extreme heat thing. People also forget to consider sunblock when running on sunny days in the winter, despite the fact that UV rays are UV rays, regardless of the temperature. But maintaining your core temperature is important in order to prevent getting sick, as well.

According to the Mayo Clinic, you should dress in layers. Their article says to start with a synthetic layer that wicks moisture away from your body, followed by a layer of fleece or wool for insulation, topped with a breathable, waterproof outer layer. They also mention that you may have to experiment and try a few different combinations to find what’s right for you.

I use a base layer of Under Armour, specifically their “cold gear” apparel, which moves moisture away from the body but also helps to keep my body’s heat contained. I follow this up with a cotton shirt, since I don’t have fleece or wool. Even if cotton has a propensity to stay wet, it also provides a layer that will absorb moisture that makes its way through. then I have a waterproof Columbia jacket I throw on top of that. Couple it all up with a comfortable pair of waterproof boots and some windproof pants over thermals and you’ve got yourself a winter running outfit.

The last aspect I’ll cover off is the Diabetic one. Obviously, all of the problems I’ve described can affect someone with Type-1 Diabetes in some given way, shape or form. One of the bigger problems is that the cold will sometimes block or numb some of the recognizable signs of hypoglycemia, which can potentially be dangerous if you’re running far from home. Here’s where technology pays its due, as you should be carrying a cell phone and/or letting your family know where you’re going, if training outside.

The winter season shouldn’t be an excuse to stop working out. I’ll admit, I much prefer curling up on the couch with my wife, munching on nachos and binge-watching Kitchen Nightmares. But Diabetes doesn’t take a day off and neither should your health and fitness! Dress well, monitor your blood sugars and stay hydrated. Whether we like it or not, the colder season will be in full swing, shortly. ā˜Æ

Mild Bragging Rights

I’ve been working on bring down my Hemoglobin A1C for about the past ten years. It hasn’t been easy; shift work, stress and basic lifestyle make it somewhat difficult to maintain decent blood sugars at the best of times. This was one of the main reasons behind why I decided to start on pump therapy. Over the past five years or so, I’ve been slowly creeping my way down.

For those of you who don’t speak the Diabetes dialect, Hemoglobin A1C (or simply A1C) is a measurement of the average blood glucose levels over three months by measuring the percentage of glycated hemoglobin in the blood. Anything over 6.5% is usually indicative of someone who has Diabetes. Anything below that is generally considered normal. There can be some exceptions to these levels, but it’s pretty basic and has been one of the most-used evaluations to measure how controlled someone’s blood sugar levels have been.

The big problem is that in the past five to ten years, improving A1C results have yielded to increasing one’s blood sugar’s “time in range.” That is to say, maintaining more time between 5.5 to 7.0 mmol/L. The big problem is that one’s A1C level can be manipulated over three months thought extreme highs and lows. Time in range cannot. Keeping your blood sugar in range can’t be manipulated, which is where my new pump and CGM come into play.

Auto mode on the new Medtronic 670G (or newish to me, at least) uses continuous glucose monitoring to verify my blood sugars every five minutes. That means that my blood sugar levels are measured 288 times a day, assuming the sensor and auto mode are working right. The best I’ve ever managed is about once an hour, without taking into consideration that I try to sleep for eight hours a day and work. Meaning that I may get lucky and test my blood six to eight times in the course of a day with a traditional blood glucose monitor.

Combine the fact that auto mode works to correct blood sugar levels with each and every one of those readings and you greatly increase your odds of improving your time “in range.” Listen to me, I sound like a damn infomercial. I should be getting commission from Medtronic for endorsing their products. But seriously, my insulin pump and CGM have been great tools for helping me lower my A1C’s over the past few years.

Just to give you some reference, I started out with an A1C of about 8.4% five years ago. At those levels over an extended period of time, this A1C level will eventually cause vision problems, blood vessel and organ complications, heart disease and stroke. It stands to reason that I would want to try and lower it. But considering what I wrote in the previous paragraphs, why am I still focused on A1C’s? Shouldn’t I be working on “time in range?” Yes. Yes, I should. That’s why I’m doing both.

Better time in range means a better overall A1C. So the bottom line is I’m working on both. A week ago, I visited with my endocrinologist and was advised that my A1C level was at 7.2%, which is the lowest it’s been in years. My overall goal is to get to at least 6.9%. That would be a feather in my cap, as my doctor would say, and is hopefully a goal I will be able to achieve by my next appointment in March. ā˜Æ

Don’t Be Afraid, Just Read The Post…

What is fear? Why are we afraid of certain things? First, let’s agree that there’s a big difference between having a fear and being afraid. Fear is a rational or irrational perception to danger, whereas to be afraid is an active response to that fear. And if it happens to be an irrational fear, it’s referred to as a phobia. Phobias are considered irrational because they usually stem from a fear of something that doesn’t actually and/or usually present genuine danger, such as clowns or spiders.

Even if on the face of it these things won’t harm anyone, a person with a phobia of such things will usually go to great lengths to avoid them. This often leads to being made fun of by friends and associates, especially if they have no phobias themselves. But let’s focus on fears, as this is the topic of today’s post. The human brain is an incredibly complex machine, and it holds a great many mysteries, even in today’s advanced environment of science.

Physically-speaking, fear is rooted in a region of the brain called the amygdala. I won’t get too specific on THOSE details, especially since I haven’t studied medicine and I’m likely to fuck something up. On the “non-physical” level, fear stems partly from experience. This means that you’ve been exposed to something that was taught to you. For example, if a child sees their parent reacting in fear of something they’ll likely learn to be afraid of that particular thing as well.

But some of it is born of a primal, prehistoric instinct that’s still buried deep inside your brain. Have you ever walked through a dark basement? Ever notice that tickle at the base of your spine, as though someone or something is watching you? Even if your basement has four, bare walls with nowhere to hide, that feeling is still there. This is born of an animal instinct that teaches us to be wary of predators, which are more likely to take us by surprise in the dark. Or maybe it’s the ghosts in your house. Who knows? But that’s a post for another day.

The point is, fear is healthy. It teaches us a proper level of caution as we navigate the world and keeps us from doing stupid things (mostly). Being fearless doesn’t mean a person HAS no fear but rather how they deal with said fear. According to an article I found on Psychology Today (one of my favourite sites), you don’t actually need to be in danger in order to be scared. Sometimes fear can stem simply from the thought of what COULD happen.

At the end of the day, everyone has a fear of something, even if we’re unaware of what that fear may be. There are ways of dealing with one’s fears, such as facing them, therapy and in extreme cases, medication. But the reality is that some fears are a good thing. They’re part of our survival instinct and fears are what helped us get as far through history as we have. But succumbing to certain fears have also led to some of history’s worst practices, such as with trials. Acknowledge your fears but don’t indulge them. This can mean the difference between screaming when you see a spider or appreciating their presence in your home (mine is named Hubert). ā˜Æ

Who Are You?

That’s not just a title; it’s an actual question! Take a moment and ask yourself, who the fuck am I? Do you know yourself, inside and out? One of the defining characteristics of humanity is that we have sentience. We are self-aware. Ask yourself, what are you, once this body ceases to exist? Do we simply wink out of existence? Of course not! Even science has proved that something about us is energy-based, and energy can only be transformed or transferred, never destroyed. That means that whether your beliefs are religious or fact-based, there’s something of an after-life. That’s right, folks! It’s gonna be “one of those” posts, so buckle up!

Why is knowing yourself so important? Well, according to an article posted by PsychologyToday.com, “When you know yourself, you understand what motivates you to resist bad habits and develop good ones.” IS that it? Or am I missing the ultimate lesson, here? There’s a lot more to it than that, depending on your point of view. And of course I’m gonna explain a bunch of it…

Knowing yourself is the penultimate aspect of life; the ultimate aspect is to do good and eliminate suffering, but I won’t get into that today. Without knowing yourself, you can’t know others. And by proxy, this makes it very difficult to help, associate or befriend others. But more importantly, how can you hope to navigate through life without knowing who you are? And what is knowing oneself? Is it simply acknowledging your genealogy? Knowing your ancestry? Or is it something more primal?

To be honest, I don’t have an answer. I’m mostly venting some of my free-floating thoughts that have focused on something my wife mentioned last week, which precipitated this post. I like to think that I know myself pretty well, yet every once in a while I surprise even myself. And I think that’s the important aspect: a person’s journey of self-discovery really never ends. The day you finish discovering yourself is the day that this life is over. Hopefully, I still have a few more decades of self-discovery ahead. ā˜Æ

You Can’t Go Back Again…

If there’s one thing I know, it’s that you can’t go back again. What’s been is gone, with nothing left but what’s to come. Although I’ve always lived my life on the concept that one should never have regrets, there’s nothing wrong with missing certain aspects of one’s past. It’s encouraged, in fact. After all, as philosopher George Santayana once said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” Of course, I believe he was referring mostly to being mindful of the lessons learned from our mistakes, so as to avoid repeating those mistakes in the future.

I was on a popular blog site this afternoon, when I came across a post about what people miss about the 90’s. The 1990’s were an exciting decade for me. I was never a fan of “boom-chick” music that seemed to be all the rave (see what I did there?) in the 90’s, preferring the more classic versions of true rock that emerged in the 1980’s, despite the hair and scrotum-strangling jeans that came with it.

It got me thinking about the specific things I miss about the 1990’s, and since I haven’t written one of my wonderful lists in quite a while, I thought this would be a fantastic opportunity. Without further ado, here is my top seven things I miss about the 1990’s:

  1. No Social Media: I’m coming’ out swinging on the first one and it may not be a popular or shared opinion. But I miss the days when social media DIDN’T rule the world. The likes of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram were barely an idea in some nerd’s brain at this point, and life seemed all the better for it. People actually did things together in groups (imagine that?) instead of spending nights up chatting online;
  2. Gaming Systems: Oh, to have an original NES system at my disposal… I use an online emulator to play some of my old favourites like Super Mario Bros. 3, but it’s just not the same. And yes, I totally get the irony of bashing on technology while admitting I use it to revisit the past. Let’s not go there! The arrival of the N64 changed gaming forever with the two best games for group parties: 007: GoldenEye and Super Mario Kart 64. It always felt as though we could play those games forever and never get tired. Games these days are all purchased on one’s phone or tablet. It lacks a certain “je ne sais quoi…”;
  3. Television Was Better: Many may argue on this point, and I’ll admit I’d have difficulty living without the miracle that is the MCU, but television in the 1990’s was LIT! TGIF lineup on Friday nights, movies that didn’t have a bunch of CGI thrown in and if you missed an episode of your favourite show, you were pretty much fucked as you couldn’t go back and rewatch it like you can on streaming services today. But the overall content just felt more real and genuine;
  4. There Were No Cell Phones: Smart phones have made our lives easier in so many ways, I’ve lost count. Emailing, scheduling, surfing the internet… Not to mention using it as a phone! But there was something liberating about knowing you could leave the house and not be pestered by texts, calls and emails at all hours of the day. Just because it’s convenient doesn’t make it good! It seems as though there’s simply no way to just “get away” these days, short of turning your phone off. And then you have to explain to folks why your phone was off and you ignored their contact. It’s a mess;
  5. Things were cheaper: I’m probably wrong about this, but the 1990’s felt like the last decade before inflation starting bending us over a log and jamming a red-hot poker up in there! Back in the mid-90’s when I got my driver’s licence (and purchased my own first vehicle), gasoline was only 56 cents per litre! Can you imagine? I had no idea how good I had it! Gasoline is currently 1.22 cents per litre, and when it dropped into the 90’s during there pandemic, people lost their fuckin’ minds! I used to work at a Catholic church’s bingo hall every Thursday night, collecting bingo cards for $15. On Tuesdays, I would walk or bike to my local corner store and purchase all four latest Superman comic titles, as well as a diet soda and a bag of chips for about $5. Financially, I was living large! Nowadays, it pretty much costs the $5 to purchase ONE comic book, let alone three of them with snacks;
  6. I Was Home: In a lot of ways, I don’t miss being a kid or a teenager. Living under someone else’s rules has never been my forte, but I had no idea how good life was. Everything was provided, I was safe and comfortable and I was with my family with my whole life ahead of me, and I had my Sensei and my karate school available to me. Although many would agree that being an adult and making your own way through life holds its own aspects of freedom, youth brought its own freedom, as well;
  7. Everything Was Fresh And New: Most people who think back on their adolescence will find memories of everything they did for the first time. Getting their driver’s licence, that first vehicle, first job, first girlfriend, first everything with said girlfriend… cough, cough… But now, the stress of adult life has watered down most things. I remember getting my first car. It was an absolute piece of shit. A two-door 1986 Toyota hatch back, 3-speed manual transmission. Yes, you read that right: 3-speed! But I loved that car to the moon and back, despite it’s poor condition and for performance. In April of 2018, I purchased a new-to-me sports coupe because my previous vehicle’s transmission exploded on the highway (you know the car, it’s the one I wrote about in Goodbye, Sweet Car…šŸŽ¶). And all I could think of at the time, was how I now had a new bill to pay every month. Some of the innocence is lost.

Folks, we can’t go back again. This much is certain. But we can always look back fondly on the good things that we experienced, even if at times we didn’t realize they were good things. Every emotion, every action and every experience we went through in our past helped to define the people we are today. And unless you’re a career criminal or intentionally make other people suffer, who you are is pretty great.

What are some of the things you miss most about your adolescence? Feel free to leave your best memory in my comments section. ā˜Æ