Remembering to Appreciate…

Sometimes it’s easy to take things for granted. Even when they’re essentially life saving or life maintaining. I was diagnosed with type-1 Diabetes when I was 4 years old. That means I’ve been managing and living with this condition for over 40 years! I’d say time flies when you’re having fun but very little of it has been fun. I remember as a child, all of my Diabetes therapy was tedious, annoying and usually got in my way. Kids are usually busy and have things to do, so having to stop several times a day to test my blood or treat a low was annoying to me.

I didn’t understand or realize how important those steps were as a child. Or how very fortunate I was that there was even a therapy that could allow me to live with my condition. Not everyone is so lucky. These days, I’m often blown away by how far I’ve come, considering many if not most people with my condition tend to deteriorate after a few decades and often end up with organ failure, amputations and blindness. Granted, a lot of my good fortune comes from the effort I’ve put into my self care. This includes proper nutrition and fitness habits, the latter of which I admit I haven’t done so well with in recent months.

I saw a post a few days ago about the first use of insulin on patients, which occurred in January of 1922 in Toronto. I’ve often written about things like the fact I wouldn’t survive a zombie apocalypse because once I’d run out of insulin, it would be game over. Ten days is the basic standard, without any insulin therapy. Once you’ve reached that point, you generally slip into a coma and die shortly thereafter. But reading about how Frederick Banting visited a coma ward and injected a young, comatose patient who awoke about a day later and whose blood sugars started to regulate, reminded me of just how fortunate I am indeed.

Considering that until the 1920’s, Type-1 Diabetes was effectively a death sentence for children, it was a discovery that changed the world. It was made all the better with the fact that they sold the patent for a dollar so that the whole world would have access to insulin. I can’t imagine how things would be different if they took the monetary approach and sought to get rich off their discovery instead. In a series of unlikely events that took place decades before I was born, my health and longevity was secured by individuals I’ve never met and will never get to thank.

That’s why I consider it so important to be grateful for the options I have. If I had lived in the early 1900’s, I likely would have died. So on the days where it feels like a pain in the ass to test my blood, take medication or change up a glucose sensor, I remind myself that while it would be far better for my life if I was Diabetic at all, these things are keeping me alive and healthy. And it’s impossible to put a price on that. Food for thought… ☯️

The Most Unlikely Discrimination…

Among some of the worst conditions are the ones that are invisible to the naked eye. The best example is the scenario where someone parks in a handicap spot without any visible, physical handicaps. Despite the driver having a registered handicap placard on their windshield, you’ll always get that one asshole who decides to stick their nose in and try to convince this person they should be packed there. Despite that issue, the person in question may have some underlying condition that the complainer simply doesn’t see. But I may be digressing just a little bit here…

The point is, Type-1 Diabetes is very much or of those conditions. Although there will usually be nothing visible on the surface, there can be a tumultuous storm of symptoms and issues under the surface that simply isn’t visible to anyone watching. True, there are a lot of long-standing, inappropriate jokes about Diabetes, such as an obese person MUST be Diabetic or eating a candy bar will cause it, but on the whole, having Type-1 Diabetes isn’t something you will SEE. But it’s always there and it always creates obstacles.

For the most part, I’ve always operated on the basis of full disclosure. This is especially true with family, friends and employers. After all, the last thing I want someone to do if a Diabetes-related incident occurs, is have someone do something that could harm me or exacerbate the issue further. For example, the most important thing I tell everyone in all circumstances is, if I have a Diabetic incident near them, it’ll always fall under one of two categories. Either I’m conscious, in which case I’ll either treat myself or ask for your help and instruct you on what to do, or I’m unconscious, in which case you shouldn’t try to treat me and should simply call 911 and get medical assistance.

Some people have always claimed that when in doubt, feed the person orange juice or some other fast-acting carb because, even if the issue is high blood sugar, it’s easier for medical staff to bring it down and could potentially save you IF if a low blood sugar incident. Not only is this grossly inaccurate, but if I’ve lost consciousness due to high blood sugar, it’s a guarantee that it’s high enough that anything you fee me may kill. No thank you. I’ll roll that dice all day long. Bearing in mind, this is my preference. Like any other condition, the person who has it should be the one instructing others on what they’d prefer.

That being said, there are certain discriminations that apply to people with Diabetes that others likely aren’t aware of. They range from the simplest and smallest of things to some reasonably life-altering statements and decisions. ON the former, a good example would be someone who brings sweet treats into the office to share with everyone. But when you come around to see what’s there, you get the sympathetic look, followed by “oh, I suppose you shouldn’t be eating these…” as they pull the items out of your reach. That’s pretty presumptuous at the best of times. Practically-speaking, someone with Diabetes isn’t inherently restricted from eating any given foods, so long as they bolus properly for it. That’s the whole point of insulin.

On the heavier side, it can even be someone that would affect a chosen career or path in life. For example, I originally applied to the police force all the way back in 1998. If I had successfully gotten in, I would have a twenty seven year career under my belt. Instead, I was denied at the outset because I checked off a box on the application that asked if I had Diabetes. realistically, it isn’t something I could have hidden or lied about and if I’d been willing to do so, I would have had no business carrying a badge. But there’s no denying that it dealt a serious blow to my self-confidence and self-worth that took effort and years to recover from. The sad part is that I had better physical health and a greater fitness regime than many of the other applicants I joined that night.

It wouldn’t be until 2007 that I would discover that the condition in question had been lifted and my application would be accepted. I chose to apply, ready to face whatever challenges would be laid before me. The part I wasn’t prepared for, was the extended application process that would follow, that contained increased medical testing and examinations. While I can understand the Force’s need to ensure the “I’s” are dotted and the “T’s” are crossed, it took me twice as long to be accepted as any other applicant. I persevered and got in, but my time as an academy cadet was marred with little jabs as well. Between being labeled as sub-par in physical benchmarks, often due to low blood sugar or other illnesses and being denied food in classrooms due to the “rules,” even when I was having lows, they certainly weren’t ready to deal with the prospect of accepting Diabetic candidates.

I’ve often faced that same issue with several employers, where the need to stop and step away for a few moments to treat a low or test blood sugars have been met with responses that it’s against the rules or “if you can’t do the job” statements. It’s never been that I can’t do the job, but sometimes five minutes of compassion can allow an employee to flourish and become one of your most-valued as opposed to feel ignored as though they’re being discriminated against. I’m blessed in that my current employer has a deep understanding of such things. While the working world has improved its duty to accommodate when someone has such difficulties, there’s still a long ways to go.

While I wouldn’t expect certain jobs to accommodate certain disabilities, for example, I would expect someone with no tongue to be a food taster, having an underlying condition or chronic illness doesn’t automatically render one incapable of doing a particular job. There are things you can do to protect yourself and ensure you put yourself in the best situation possible. Open honesty about your condition is always the best policy. While employers aren’t inherently allowed to ask you specifics about health conditions, I’ve never understood why people want to keep such details to themselves. I much prefer open transparency. Not only does it keep everyone on the same page, it could also potentially save your life, if the people around you know what the issue may be.

Another important aspect is open communication from both sides. When applying for jobs, be sure to ask what accommodations can be made for your specific condition. This plays into the previous paragraph. While you may not HAVE to provide specifics about your condition, giving a potential employer some high-level information can help them be honest and forthcoming about what accommodations may be available, as well. For example, asking “what accommodation can you make if I need to step away from my till for ten minutes in the event of low blood sugar?” Could mean the difference between finding a positive place for you to hang your hat or moving on to the next potential career option.

All of this information is based on the premise that little of what’s happening is intentional. If you find yourself in the midst of a situation where you feel someone may be straight up discriminating against BECAUSE of a medical condition, you may have bigger problems to address. But that’s for another post. For now, suffice it to say that there’s plenty you can do to protect yourself. Even though you shouldn’t HAVE to. But such is the world we live in. A little effort can go a long way and sometimes you just gotta pick your battles. Just always ensure you’re fighting on your side. Food for thought… ☯️

Resolutions Aren’t Meant For Once A Year…

Well, here it is, folks! The last day 0f 2024. As my day dwindles on, I’m found thinking back on the past year and the things I’ve experienced, the things I’ve accomplished and the things I’ve wished for. I’ve had some happy times, some less than happy times and times when I wondered what it was actually all about. For most people, the New Year holiday represents a new start, a fresh beginning and a time to make resolutions for a better year. For me, it’s just another Wednesday. And here’s why…

When New Year’s Day hits, it’s usually the time when most people decide on resolutions to change the overall tone of their lives. These resolutions come in many forms. While some of the most common ones include things like more exercise, dieting or cutting out vices like alcohol or gambling, some can be on the more wholesome side, like reading more books, spending more time outdoors or doing at least one new thing every week. While all of this is totally well and good, the statistical majority of people who enter into a New Year’s resolution will typically give up and/or falter in their resolution within a few months. If they last that long.

This begs the question: why bother? This failure is a known fact to most people and yet, most people will still start the New Year off with, “This year, I will…” While it may sound strange coming from me, being the guy who usually promotes having goals and achieving them, I can’t help but think that perhaps a single day of the year set out as a holiday is NOT the best time to be making commitments to something else. And one shouldn’t wait UNTIL New Year’s to make said commitment. I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve heard say things like “oh, I’ll cut down on sweets in the New Year,” or “I’ll start getting fit in January as my New Year’s resolution.”

There are a lot of reasons why people give up or quit their resolutions within a few months. One reason is that the holidays are probably the worst time for the year for people over-eating, drinking and lounging around watching Christmas movies and doing fuck all. It’s kind of hard to jump from that and go into a new diet or try to get yourself moving in any efficient way. Another reason, especially if your resolutions is fitness-oriented, is that it’s hard to hit the ground running in January, considering it’s usually followed by the coldest months of the year (at least here in Canada). The human body is at its lowest energy point and focusing solely on staying dry and warm. Sometimes, the drive to keep pushing physically just isn’t there.

Lastly, many people will drop their resolutions because they simply aren’t seeing results. The inherent problem with this is that fitness and health is an ongoing journey, not a destination. If your goal is to increase muscle or lose weight, it can take months or even years to achieve what you’re seeking. We live in a world of immediate gratification and most people don’t like to wait for things. So by March or April, people can become disillusioned with their goals and simply give up. Viewed through that lens, those folks should be grateful they don’t have Type-1 Diabetes; that shit never ends.

My point is, don’t wait until New Year’s to start improving upon yourself. Start today. The New Year is nothing. It’s not a “fresh” start. It isn’t the beginning of something new. It’s just another day. Simply another date on the calendar. Your life starts every day. THAT’s where your resolution begins. Not on a holiday, not as a special occasion but as a conscious decision to make the change. After all, life is like a book. We all know how the story begins and how it ends. It’s up to you how the chapters in between get written. Food for thought… Happy New Year. ☯️

Your Opinion Of Me Is None of My Business…

I saw something online recently that I really wish I had saved at the time, because it makes it really hard to shared a link or explain where I found something without doing so. But given how flighty I am at the best of times, sprinkled with a fine dust of ADHD and the occasional finger of whiskey thrown into the mix, it’s a surprise that I can write coherently at all. But yet here we are. The point is, I recently read a post somewhere that may or may not have been quoted from some celebrity, that read something to the tune of “what other people say about me is none of my business.”

This struck a pretty deep chord with me. Most of us spend so much time worrying about what other people may say or think about us, almost to the point where it becomes debilitating. Let’s look at a small example. When you’re about to leave the house in the morning to go run errands, the odds are good that you’ll grab a shower, put on deodorant, brush your hair and dress appropriately, not only to your local’S social standard but appropriate to the weather. While some of this makes sense for hygiene reasons, a lot of it is driven by societal expectations and how we feel people may perceive us.

We’re not just guilty of the phenomenon itself but also of encouraging it. Without even considering it, how many times have you been at a large retail location and seen someone and thought “holy fuck, they left the house that way???” while we tend to believe our thoughts are our own and are private, all it takes is a sideways glance or disgusted look to let that person know what those “private” thoughts may be. For the most part, this isn’t something we can prevent; we’re only human and we can guard our thoughts only so far. Although minding our thoughts is an important step in preventing further suffering on our own part. Jus’ sayin’…

The bigger challenge comes from letting go of what OTHERS may think or say about you. If you get word that one of your colleagues thinks you’re an absolute asshole, it’s likely to elicit an emotional response. The key takeaway is to ask oneself, does it really matter? What this other person thinks or says about you is not a reflection on who you are and shouldn’t alter how you view yourself. They’re free to have their own views and thoughts without it necessarily affecting you. Think, “I can only control my words, not how you interpret them” but in reverse.

What others’ opinion of you may be is none of your business. It won’t change your life, your situation and it shouldn’t affect your overall goals. And putting such things out of your mind is an important step towards eliminating self-suffering and being a happier, more fulfilled person. Food for thought… ☯️

Merry Christmas

Once again we’ve come to that time of year. There’s snow on the ground, a chill in the air and people take pride in decorating their homes, Christmas trees and laying gifts at their base. When I was a boy, the growing anticipation and excitement of Christmas was palpable. My mother would cook and bake up a storm. As the eldest daughter of seven siblings, Christmas was almost always hosted at our home. There would be the opening of “just one gift” on Christmas Eve. Because my mother’s side of the family were Catholic, we always had midnight mass. So I would usually struggle to stay awake klong enough to get through a church service. While I would have loved to have torn into gifts when we got home, it would usually be all I could manage to fall into bed.

The following morning would be a flood of food, family and raucous fun. I would get to see aunts, uncles and my grandparents. We would open presents, share cards and enjoy each other’s company. It was loud and tiring. Not in a bad way, mind you. But there was a measurable heat in the home, considering the number of people present. I’ve never been much of one for crowds, even as a child. By early afternoon, I would usually retreat to my room with my stash of presents to open and play with everything. It was always a glorious day. Some of my best memories include getting He-Man’s Castle Grayskull, my original Cabbage Patch Kid (I can’t remember his name) and even the first year I got the original Nintendo GameBoy when it came out in the early 90’s. I must have spent countless hours on Super Mario Land.

Life has changed for me significantly since those early Christmases. Gifts generally hold very little meaning for me, preferring a quiet day at home with my wife and sons. While I still observe the tradition of giving gifts for their sake, the value and the real gift for me is knowing I have a safe home, warm environment and a loving wife and sons that are tolerable. Kidding, they’re a’ight… But seriously, at some point one must come to realize the real value of life and what truly is a gift, is knowing that you never have to be alone (unless you want to). Sitting on the couch watching Home Alone or smelling some Christmas baking while knowing you can hug your toddler or talk video games with your oldest means far more to me than anything wrapped one could receive.

I’ve been lucky enough that I’m in a position in life that I could take the week off from work this week. Not everyone can be so lucky. yet another gift that means far more. Being able to stay home and engage in some self-care and spend further time with my wife is my real gift this year. Hopefully, y’all have something similar that make you just as rich as I am. Money and gifts mean nothing. It’s the people in my life, the ones who made me a husband, made me a father, that matter during Christmas. So to all of you out there, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and best wishes to you and your family, regardless of what traditions or holidays you may be celebrating during this time of year. Be safe, stay warm and remember what’s most important during this time of year. 🎄

Slow And Steady Wins The Race…

There is always plenty I can write about Diabetes care and even more so about how involved and complicated it can get to properly maintain one’s health and blood sugar levels. In fact, in over 5 years of blogging on the topic, I’ve never run out of subject matter to discuss (minus some occasional repetition). That’s pretty impressive, if I do say so myself. And I guess I am saying so. Might sound like bragging but it’s not; it’s merely intended to show just how complicated a condition Type-1 Diabetes actually is. Quite a change in what my parents believed in the 1980’s, which basically just included “don’t eat sugar” and take your one-a-day insulin injection.

I often wonder how differently my health would have progressed, had I known about things like carb counting, proper bolusing and an actual understanding of the different types of insulin and how they function within the body. I often get a lot of questions about what some of the hardest aspects of having Diabetes are and how I deal with them. Certainly there are quite a few. And I’ve written about most of them. But in recent years, I’ve come to recognize that one of the hardest aspects of having Type-1 Diabetes is not, in and of itself, a symptom but rather, something I need to DO. The hardest part of being Diabetic is being patient. Yes, you read that right; patience is one of the hardest parts of dealing with anything Diabetes-related.

Let me explain. In my youth, when I would have low blood sugar, I would eat until I felt better. While this makes sense in concept, if I’m starting to feel better, it likely means my blood sugars have already reached a normal level and I’ve likely eaten beyond what was required. The result is that my blood sugar would skyrocket, requiring further insulin to bring it down to normal. This kind of rollercoaster blood sugars can be detrimental on one’s overall health and proper balancing of a1c’s. Nowadays, I actually measure my blood sugar to determine whether it’s low, rather than depend on a general feeling as I would have when I was younger. Given that getting older involves its own generalized pain, that only makes sense.

But when I find that my blood sugars are low, I take a finite amount of fast-acting carbs that are appropriate to bringing my blood sugar levels up to normal. Where the patience comes in, is the need to sit and wait while that finite amount of carbs does its job. This is particularly difficult when your blood sugar is low and you have to sit there and experience the symptoms of it for what will likely be twenty to thirty minutes. Let me walk you through it. I’m talking nausea, stomach cramps, disorientation, restless limbs, excessive and profuse sweating, blurred vision, loss of fine motor skill and a partridge in a fuckin’ pear tree. And that’s just to name a few. Don’t even get me started on how I feel if I get a low in tandem with anything else, like a cold or flu.

This required patience doesn’t just apply to lows. Sometimes recognizing that if I’m sitting a bit high, it may take a while, hours even, for my levels to come down smoothly. A sudden drop is never a good thing, even if you were high to start with. It can be extremely taxing on the system. The amount of fatigue I feel when I’m high and have to bring my blood down is substantial. If I don’t do it slowly and surely, it can sometimes put me down for the night. And when you live with two small sons who don’t grasp the concept of ever being quiet, getting the rest one needs to properly recover can be difficult.

That’s why it’s important to take one’s time with anything needed when it comes to Diabetes. Nothing can really be done quickly and even if there’s some that could, the after effects can be just as bad or worse than the symptom itself. It can be tough to wait something out, especially if it causes discomfort. But patience is key. After all, slow and steady wins the race. Especially where Diabetes is concerned. Food for thought… ☯️

What Pain Gives Gain?

I don’t think I have to explain how absolutely EVERYTHING affects a Type-1 Diabetic’s health. Blood sugar levels, blood pressure levels and other health factors are often affected by things like stress, physical activity, diet and alcohol consumption and even one’s state of mind. It can sometimes become a challenge for someone to maintain proper controls when something completely out of one’s control can affect everything. Like weather. If I do thirty minutes of heavy exercise in the comfort of my basement, no problem. If I do thirty minutes of work outside in cold, winter weather, my blood drops like fuckin’ stone in a clear lake. So given that everything affects blood sugar levels, what about pain? Could pain affect one’s blood sugars?

We should start the conversation by defining exactly what I mean by pain. Simply put, pain in today’s context is defined as the signal your body sends to your brain when trauma is caused to the body. And by trauma, I don’t mean the typical, modern definition that means having experienced something bad, although that could be included. trauma refers to the damage and/or blunt force exercised against tissue, causing damage. This can include cuts, abrasions, bruising, blunt force, burns and exposure to extreme cold. All of these things will trigger a signal from nerves to the brain, telling it that something bad is happening and that one should remove themselves from the situation. This is why people will automatically pull away from open flame or grip their arm if they suffer a cut, etc. Most of it is reflex and even those who train themselves to “fight through the pain” will have some difficulty in ignoring or overcoming the sensation.

So, how does pain play into blood sugars? I should start by clarifying that the idea started from a conversation I had with my ophthalmologist. During a recent appointment to get eye injections, (my eyes are doing great by the way. Thanks for asking!) I asked my doctor what the level would be, on a scale from 1 to 10, for me to receive the needles in my eyes without the numbing drops. He confirmed that it would likely be an 8 or 9. While he made it clear that he had never tried it or had it done on any of his patients, he working off his knowledge of pain and how it’s received by the body. He explained it would certainly be painful enough for a person to be unable to do it without the numbing drops. I was fascinated.

When I returned to my room, I realized that my blood sugar levels and increased. Not to a significant, uncontrollable level but enough to be noticeable. And it got me to ponder the question on how pain affects the blood sugars. In essence, pain is a stressor. And stressors DO affect blood sugars. While people don’t define stress quite in this way but pain causes stress and stress increases blood sugar levels. According to an article posted by the Mayo Clinic, “Physical or emotional stress triggers the release of hormones that can cause high blood sugar levels.” While the article is short and doesn’t specifically address physical pain, if we acknowledge that pain is a stressor and stressors will cause the release of hormones that will elevate blood sugars, the math does itself.

So this is mostly information and not so much a specific thing, but if you notice your blood sugar levels are running rampant and you can’t quite explain why, you may want to look at the stressors in your life, including pain. The pain that results from my eye injections is certainly something that will has an effect. Any other pain you may be suffering will also have an effect. While it may be difficult to gauge and treat your blood sugar levels based on this, it’s an important factor when considering your overall blood sugar management. Food for thought… ☯️

Can Closure Be Too Little, Too Late?

What is closure? In the context I’ll be using it, closure refers to gaining a sense of peace, understanding and emotional release that comes from gaining understanding about certain events in our lives. For example, people will often get closure from having that after-breakup conversation with someone they were involved with. That’s only one example but it’s a pretty common one and serves to illustrate the point I’m getting at for today’s post. It stands to reason that closure can come in the most interesting ways at the most unexpected time.

Just a few short years ago, I had the opportunity to connect with someone from my past where I was able to discuss how much of a dick I was through my teen years. It would be decades before I would come to realize that many of the symptoms caused by Type-1 Diabetes was the root cause of most of the isues I caused for myself in my teens. This isn’t and shouldn’t be an all-encompassing excuse of course but it did lend itself to how I was almost universally in a bad mood and treated others poorly. I cost myself several friendships and relationships during my youth because I couldn’t reconcile my disease with proper management. But I’m glad I got closure on some of those issues and the people I’ve spoken to were gracious enough to show some undertanding.

From my side of things, there’s much closure I often feel I’m owed by many individuals who have wronged me over the years. In 2018, my career and my life took a left turn. The only thing worse than having someone wrong you in life, is having someone accuse you of something that puts your entire life in jeopardy. This is what happened to me, back in 2018. I found myself in an unfortunate set of circumstances that I would have never imagined being in. I won’t get into all the gritty details in this post but it did lead me to change the entire course of my life, my career and my view on others and how I’m treated by them. Let’s just say that all things considered, life is pretty good right now and I can’t exactly complain, but there’s a stain on my soul that may never heal as a result of what some others have done to me.

While I really want to tell the story and explain how I came about getting some closure on this issue, for reasons that should be understandable, I really shouldn’t be naming people or referring to specific situations. Not all of this is just MY story to tell. And it would be wrong of me to tell the part that isn’t mine. So I’ll stick to what I can say. Recently, I was out at a work event with everyone from the organization that I work at. It was a pretty good event and it included a tour for the entire staff of the venue we were in. As we were walking the site, we came around a corner that had a security guard kiosk and imagine my surprise at seeing one of the involved parties in the events of 2018 that altered my life forever.

I recognized him immediately, although I wasn’t very surprised at the fact that he didn’t recognize me. After all, it had been half a decade and I had a full face of facial hair whereas I would have been clean shaven back when he knew me. Once the group had cleared, I walked up and greeted him. He was taken aback when he realized who I was. The conversation was congenial enough, as we discussed where we were both explained where we were currently working and what had been happening in our respective lives since the events of 2018. It was a great conversation and I even got to introduce him to my current boss, given that the individual in question was indirectly my boss in my previous career.

As my group moved on to other sections of the site, he was peaking to others who weren’t part of my group, so I moved on. When the day was over and all my staff were leaving the site, I decided I wanted to seek out the individual so that I could shake his hand and say goodbye. When I found him doing his rounds, something happened that I wouldn’t have, and wasn’t expecting. He brought up the past and admitted that I got a raw deal. He explained that he felt I never should have had the accusations made against me and that the organization didn’t deal with it the way they could have. He told me that he always remembered and appreciated the way I came in to work my modified assignments with such enthusiasm and professionalism, there were days when he didn’t believe I was someone dealing with the situation I was in. He felt that other members should have followed my example.

These revelations hit me like a ton of bricks. While I agreed with everything he said, it shocked me to my core to hear him say it. Until that moment, no one from my previous career had admitted that I was treated badly or that the events in question shouldn’t have happened. I know that a lot of people would say that the words were too little, too late. That those things should have been brought up at the time in an effort to mitigate the damage caused to my life and my career. But for some reason, hearing this from him lifted a weight off my shoulders that I had become so accustomed to that I didn’t even know it was there. It was a very special kind of closure that I didn’t know I needed. And for that, I will be forever grateful to him.

Don’t be afraid to seek out that closure. Some of the bad periods of your life could be easily reconciled if you’re willing to seek the answer. Sometimes this might mean saying you’re sorry. Sometimes, it may simply mean giving others the opportunity to say they’re sorry. In any event, closure can be good. It shouldn’t be sold short. After all, whatever can be done to reduce the suffering in one’s life is good, right? Food for thought… ☯️

Another Year, Another Moustache…

So, yet another year of raising funds for prostate cancer through Movember. Some readers may have noted that I posted about this a few weeks in advance by providing instructions on how folks could donate to this very, very good cause. For reference or for those who haven’t seen the post, you can read it here. I usually choose the same modest goal of $500 every year. The first couple of years were pretty sweet, with generous folks ensuring that we reached that goal and on one year, we even knocked it out of the park. This year, not so much…

I was a little surprised this year at the lack of participation and interest, even from those who expressed interest. I usually have a team that not only donates but actively participates in growing out their ‘staches as part of the fun. But this year was pretty lackluster. I’m disappointed to see that not only was everyone’s participation was piss-poor this year, but with the organization and fundraising attempts on my part, no one really got involved on it with me. As a result, this will likely be the last year that I fundraise for Movember and will likely just make my own individual donation. There’s nothing worse than putting in the time and effort to try and fundraise as a group, only to have none of the group get involved as well. Live and learn.

On the positive side, since I shouldn’t spend the entire whining like a little bitch, we did raise $350 for prostate cancer. We may not have reached the goal we set, but it’s still $350 more than would have otherwise been raised, so that’s a positive. I generally tend to expect quite a bit from myself and I unfortunately forget that I shouldn’t expect THAT much from everyone else. It’s kind of unfortunate given that I frequently have people who fundraise for all kinds of random bullshit that doesn’t really qualify as a good cause, or people who start a GoFund me page because they want a new iPhone or something. But i digress… I did say I shouldn’t be whining like a bitch. The bottom line is we raised money and I grew an absolute resplendent beard. It’s coming off today, and if it didn’t itch so fuckin’ bad, I’d likely keep it. But until next year, I’ll keep my face clean. ☯️

Expectations vs Reality

There are a lot of things that happen behind the scenes for someone with Type-1 Diabetes that the average person isn’t aware of. Much like seeing someone park in a handicap spot but yet walk with simple ease, an illness or disability isn’t always obvious to the naked eye. But without standing too high on my soapbox, my point is that there are a number of things that people tend to take for granted that almost seem like a rare treat to someone with Type-1 Diabetes. In this post, I’m going to examine the top ones that are important to me.

A Naked Shower
I should probably clarify that I’m naked for every shower that I take. This isn’t a high school changing room; I don’t shower in my clothes. That’s a story for another day. But what I mean is, having the ability to take a shower without needing to protect infusion sites or adhesive pads. Generally speaking, my insulin pump’s infusion sets are changed out every three days. This is because after three days, insulin begins to crystallize on the plastic based tubing and parts of the infusion set. This can result in an inaccurate delivery of insulin.

My continuous glucose monitor sensor gets changed out once a week. This is mainly because the interstitial fluid and the wound heals up enough that reading becomes difficult. In any event, with one of my cyborg parts replaced every three days and the other replaced every seven days, it’s usually an interesting challenge showering, since some of the adhesive patches will dry up and peel after a hot shower. The result is I usually have to maneuver and cover the injections sites and their coverings so that they get wet as little as possible. You ever try taking a normal shower while trying to keep any one area of your body dry? Not so easy…

Once in a while, an opportunity comes up where both insertions are due for replacement around roughly the same time. On those rare occasions, I get to take a nice, hot shower without any concern about protecting anything on the abdomen. I can effectively shower withy abandon, which one wouldn’t think is a big deal but when you can never do it, having the chance to just let the hot water wash over without concern is a definite treat that the average person takes for granted.

A Decent Night’s Sleep
First and foremost, I need to point out that proper sleep is always an issue for someone with Type-1 Diabetes, whether you wear a pump or not. Between fluctuating blood sugars, fluctuating blood pressure, circulatory issues that cause your arms and legs to go numb and restless as you sleep… The list goes on. Tack on my PTSD and the frequent repetitive nightmares and you’ve got a recipe for shitty nights. I have, on occasion, had the opportunity of sleep well throughout an entire night but these instances have almost always included some exterior assistance, like melatonin or a few fingers of whiskey.

Wearing an insulin pump presents its own unique set of challenges during sleep. While I always make a point to wear shorts or pyjama pants that have pockets, the pump will often slide out of the pocket during the night as I roll over. What’s worse is if I end up on TOP of the pump. This can be uncomfortable and even painful, especially if I roll over and the pump ends up in my tender bits. Y’all know what I’m referring to. Trying to remain perfectly still during sleep is effectively impossible, which means that under all circumstances, my pump will contribute to waking me up repeatedly throughout the night. So if you’re someone who gets a full night’s sleep, don’t take it for granted.

Eating With Abandon
Before the concept of pump technology and carb counting were brought to my attention, one of my favourite things was eating at a Chinese buffet. I’m one of those fuckers who loves the concept of the fried foods and flavoured sauces and dips that one can only enjoy through Asian cuisine. Nowadays, being mindful not only of what I eat but in what amounts can be challenging at best. Even when I read food labels and calculate based on the amount of carbohydrates they indicate, I hit some obstacles with lows, highs and miscalculations.

Eating out at a restaurant is usually the most challenging, because asking a server how grams of carbohydrates are in the meal you’re planning to order can be troublesome. While restaurant staff are generally expected to have some knowledge about the meals they serve, one must be realistic in just how deep that knowledge goes. It’s different if you’re having something defined, like a fast food burger, where you can usually check their website and get comprehensive nutritional information. But then when you incorporate something loose, like fries, rice or mashed potatoes, calculating the proper amount of carbohydrates and delivering the right amount of insulin is tough. What’s even tougher is if you estimate, then you can’t finish what you’ve bloused for.

Buffets are now an absolute waste of money for me, considering I can’t eat with abandon and have to moderate my portions and calculate insulin delivery. Even protein-based dishes are packed with carbohydrates at Asian buffets, considering everything is usually battered. While pumpkin therapy allows me to live easier with my meal choices (eating a slice of cake in my teens would have been completely out of the question), having the ability to eat whatever one wants whenever one wants without worrying about the consequences is definitively something any non-Diabetic shouldn’t take for granted.

SO, as you can see, there are many things that the average, every day person takes for granted that Type-1 Diabetics are dealing with behind the scenes. And this isn’t an all-inclusive list. People rarely see those aspects and simply assume that as long as we avoid sugar and take our insulin, the ship stays on course. Nothing could be farther from the truth. So if you have the ability to sleep properly, shower with abandon and relax and eat at your leisure, take the time to recognize how blessed you are. While I will always acknowledge that things could be much worse for me, all the little things y’all take for granted are often the things that any other person yearns for. Food for thought… ☯️