Category: Buddhism & Philosophy

“That Won’t Work…”

Hmm, how do you know? I hear people say this phrase a lot, especially as it relates to their goals, health, finances and careers. And I don’t necessarily mean the people who may say this because they have actually tried a similar thing and have a REASON for believing it won’t work; I mean the ones who say it won’t before even trying. Those are the dangerous scenarios and the ones that can set an otherwise capable person up for failure.

Fear of failure can be an insidious thing and can cause serious repercussions in a person’s life. Imagine if, all the way back in the late 80’s when my health was waning and there was a very real possibility that side effects of Type-1 Diabetes would end my young life, that I had looked at karate and said, “Mmm, that won’t work…” There’s a very real chance I wouldn’t be writing this post, right now, as I would be dead.

It’s right on par with my parents, who spoke almost those exact words when I finally revealed I was studying karate, despite the fact I had been doing it for a few years at that point and my health had improved ten-fold. I’ve often had students who have had this unfortunate belief, where they’d walk into the dojo and start training but as they saw what would eventually be expected of them, chose to give up rather than try and make something work.

The important thing to remember is that nothing is impossible. Does that mean that YOU will necessarily be capable of it? Maybe not. But there’s a big difference between something being impossible and something being beyond your capabilities. The key is recognizing that difference. And there’s nothing stopping you from actually trying to. Remember, there’s a huge, HUGE difference between “failing” and “being a failure.”

Failing at something means you tried. It means lessons have been learned, important lessons, that you can carry forward into the next thing you do or try. And although something may be out of your range or capabilities, this doesn’t make it impossible. It simply means you may have to examine other options. As the old saying goes, you’re not a failure unless you fail to try.

One of my favourite quotes, ironically, doesn’t come from a philosopher or teacher, not one of my instructors or a literary source (technically). No, one of my all-time favourite quotes about failure is from the character of Captain Jean-Luc Picard from Star Trek, The Next Generation. In a certain episode, he says, “It is possible to commit no mistake and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.” Important words from the most unexpected source. ☯️

Get A Problem, Solve A Problem…

Life can be difficult to navigate, especially when you stack financial, familial and work-related responsibilities into the mix. Many people actually hit the pillow from exhaustion at night but can’t sleep. Even when the body is tired, the mind keeps churning and it can play hell on your health and one’s wellbeing. And I’m sure I don’t have to tell any of you how stress over long periods of time can cause all sorts of health-related issues, as well.

Stress and exhaustion will lead to poor performance and results, which stresses you out further, which leads to less rest and eventually trying to cope through some rather unhealthy means. The thing is, life will give you deadlines. It almost impossible to avoid; certain parts of your life will require results within a certain period of time. Makes sense, right? It would be great if one could make your way through life at your own pace but some things simply won’t wait. So way stress over it?

The obligations and deadlines won’t disappear but the stress can. I may be oversimplifying it and making it seem easy but it can be done. Once one acknowledges that work will continue to come and you simply need to remain consistent and committed, the stress will begin to melt away. The other important aspect is to recognize that there are periods of time where you simply CAN’T do anything about the tasks waiting for you the next morning. Thinking about it and stressing over it during your down hours does nothing for you. AND it takes away your down hours.

Work and responsibility won’t go away. So when you get home at night and have some time that isn’t work, take the time to relax and enjoy that time. Your health will thank you, your soul will thank you and it will go a long way towards reducing the suffering in your own life. And it’s much easier to help others once you’ve helped and healed yourself. Food for thought… ☯️

Just A Little Inspiration…

Once in a while, i find something that either inspires me, motivates me or that I just flat out like. I found this little paragraph online while casually surfing the web. I don’t know the source (hence why it’s quoted “Anon”) but I like it and I feel as though it can be a little pick-me-up for the middle of the week. Enjoy…☯️

You can rise up from anything.
You can completely recreate yourself.
Nothing is permanent.
You’re not stuck. You have choices.
You can think new thoughts.
You can learn something new.
You can create new habits.
All that matters is that you decide today and you never look back.

– Anon

Give Us A Smile…

There’s a lot of suffering and negativity in the world. This is aggravated by the fact that most people stagger through their day without interacting with the world around them. in an unfortunate society where technology reigns, people often tend to smile at their smart device far more easily than they would for the person who serves them their morning coffee or thank the bus driver who dropped you at the destination you needed. There are a lot of little things one can do to improve the overall tone of one’s day and body language means everything. Here are some of my favourites…

1. Smile. That probably seems pretty basic and hopefully you haven’t decided to scroll past this post because of it but a smile is the most basic of positive actions. It’s universally known, bound by no language or culture. Hell, even someone blind who has never set eyes on an actual smile will know how to do it and it will mean the same thing to them despite this lack of visual knowledge. Smiling at someone in any circumstance will not only make YOU feel better, it may just add some positivity to someone else’s day. Even when out in public and you happen to be looking around and lock eyes with someone for a moment, a small smile (maybe not a sustained, toothy, creepy smile) will let that person know that their existence is acknowledged and will add a positive twist on their day.

2. Say Thank You. This seems like such a small thing and many people would argue that if they go to their favourite drive thru in the morning to pick up coffee, it’s the employee’s job to hand you your coffee AND you’re paying for it. What’s the thank you for and why is it necessary? Those questions and that line of thinking tell me you need a nap because you’re cranky. Saying thank you to someone, anyone, for something they do, whether it’s serving you coffee, holding a door open or helping you with your transaction in a store, not only validated what they do for them and shows them you acknowledge their existence, it will make you feel good and keep you humble. After all, I’ve bought Tim Hortons coffee for brewing at home but it still doesn’t taste as good as getting it directly from the source.

3 Make Eye Contact. This is something that seems to have gone the wayside in recent years. People seem uncomfortable with basic eye contact but it’s SO important in proper communication and body language. Something I’ve started to do when I’m out somewhere and I have sunglasses on, is I’ll lofty or remove the sunglasses to allow for proper eye contact. This allows me to show the person I’m interacting with that they have my undivided attention. It also allows them to see that the smile I mentioned in the first point is genuine as opposed to forced or faked.

Even if technology rules today’s modern society and we’re all lost in our own little digital world, we’re still human and there’s still a need to interact with each other and try and keep the world as positive a place as we can. A little smile or a thank you can go a long way. Without even realizing it, you may inadvertently alter the course of someone’s life, just by looking them in the eye, smiling and saying “thank you.” Food for thought… ☯️

What’s Right? Doing Right? Feeling Right?

In a world of continued entitlement and first-world problems, navigating society can only be achieved through very rough waters. And I refer to rough waters often in my posts, because it always seems like some fuckers are trying to ice skate uphill (that’s a line from the movie Blade, it’s not mine). I continue to be amazed at how people tend to lean on what they believe to be “the principle” of a matter, as opposed to doing what’s actually right, moral and in some cases, even legal.

I offer up a CBC article I read yesterday as a prime example of what I’m getting at. You can read the article here: Bitter dispute over old beach road pits Cape Breton community against owner. Y’all can go read the article for yourself (after all, that’s why I linked it) but the just of the situation is there’s an old beach road outside a small community in Cape Breton that’s been used to access a stretch of beach by the community for decades. Recently, someone originally from British Columbia purchased the property and the road runs through it. Cue the drama…

The article does a pretty good job of illustrating two clear sides of the story and how there’s a case to be made for either. On the one hand, if the property owner has purchased the land, including the road, shouldn’t she enjoy clear ownership of the land she paid for? This would seem to make sense, since I would expect to be able to make decisions about any piece of property that I paid for.

On the other hand, you have several generations of people who are part of this community and have been using this road for years. I can imagine feeling some kind of way about a random person who isn’t government or law enforcement, suddenly coming along and trying to tell me I’m not allowed to drive down a road that I’ve been using for years… Given my temper and temperament, you can well imagine how well THAT would go. Unfortunately, I’ve been in that EXACT situation back in New Brunswick, during my younger years.

The big question is, who’s right? The letter of the law would seem to provide that if it’s private property, people should stay the hell off of it, if the landowner deems it so. But what about the moral thing? The community-spirited thing? The RIGHT thing? These are the aspects that people seem inclined to cast aside and forego, no matter how important it may be. If it were me, I would be inclined to let the community continue to use the road. After all, it’s a fucking road! But that’s just me, apparently.

The article wraps with the landowner claiming that if it turns out that her lawyers or real estate agents made a mistake and the road isn’t hers, she would be selling the property. Really? The article outlines some of her concerns but honestly, some of it is a clear picture of how far society has fallen in terms of getting along with one another. As a child, I remember that if I were outside playing and a parent brought a poposicle to their kid who was playing outside as well, they’d likely ask me if I wanted one. Nowadays, the parent would likely look at the other child with thinly-veiled suspicion.

I bring this up because it directly relates with how there is suffering in the world, we tend to cause our own suffering but often, others cause unnecessary suffering when there are easier and more collaborative ways to reduce or prevent it. Also because I see a lot of this type of petty behaviour in my line of work; instances where people will block access to certain things for no reason other than they own it and can do it. Never mind the pain and suffering that their “legal and harmless” action may bring to others…

“It’s not about the use, it’s the principle of the thing…” Give me a fucking break… You’re just being a dick. Society talks about how enlightened we’ve become and how far we’ve advanced but scenarios where it’s neighbour versus neighbour are dealt with in the most petty of ways. We need to learn, as a society, to take the moral path and stop focusing on what we believe is “the principle.” Although principles can be an effective guiding, well… principle, they won’t get you far in life. Food for thought… ☯️

Paying It Forward…

Considering the bitch-fest I’ve been writing about in recent weeks, I thought I would write about how nice yesterday kicked off after I posted about my doctor’s visit. When I got ready for work, I suddenly realized that not only was it Friday but the sun was shining and he weather was great. It was geared up to be a great day and I had actually gotten some actual sleep by virtue of the stronger muscle relaxants I had been prescribed the previous day after that shitty doctor’s appointment.

Since I wanted to keep the positivity going, I was crooning along to some music as I headed south towards the office when I decided I should get some donuts for my staff. There were a few of them sill working from home, but I knew there would at least be a handful that could take advantage. So I popped by my local retail coffee chain (y’all know where Im talking about). I ordered a dozen donuts but got myself a medium coffee as well. My usual habit is to make a Keurig coffee at work but I thought, what the hell? May as well treat myself as well, right?

I pull up to the drive thru window and had something happen that I had, until that moment, only read about… Someone “paid it forward” and paid for my coffee and donuts! I was floored! I often read stories about people paying it forward in drive thrus like that but I had never had it happen to me. I was elated and was asked if I wanted to keep it going by paying it forward to the next customer behind me. I agreed and pulled my debit card out. Then, a thought hit me… What if the person behind me was ordering breakfast foods for his entire crew or something like that? I assumed the risk that comes with paying it forward and kept my mouth shut.

The person behind me only ordered a coffee and I drove off feeling happy and satisfied. I got to work and sent out an internal email to the staff I assumed would be working on site that day. Then, I ironically sat down and ate the two hard-boiled eggs I brought, since I couldn’t justify the increased amount of carbohydrates that early in the morning. It only took a few minutes for me to recognize that at least four of the ten people I assumed would be working at the office were either working from home or had the day off. brutal. I offered some donuts to the on site staff. I still had seven or eight donuts left.

I walked the other two floors of office and offered the remainders up to all the other staff. I got to make a few people’s day and met some of the staff that I’ve somehow managed NOT to meet over the past year due to working from home as a result of the pandemic and some who have been recently hired. Besides the fact that I got to do some wicked networking within my own organization, I created some positivity not only in my own day but for others, as well. It was a great way to cap off the week, especially in light of how rough it’s been with the pain and the lack of sleep. Next week has a lot to do to make up for yesterday. ☯️

Memories In The Making…

Yesterday was our eighth wedding anniversary. No, I didn’t forget to post about it yesterday, wise asses! We just hadn’t enjoyed our expected festivities yet and writing about something well before it happens is not without its pitfalls. For example, if our plans changed or got cancelled, I’d have a post going live describing things that never happened. The entire point of a blog is to write about one’s knowledge and experiences.

But yes, yesterday was eight years that my wife and I have been married, nine years years together in total. It’s been a wild and fantastic ride, with the purchase and ownership of a couple of houses, the arrival of both our sons and getting through some of the darkest and most difficult periods of my life together. Somehow, I still wake up every morning and she’s still by my side. I consider anyone strong enough to put up with my bullshit for this many years without running away screaming to be a keeper!

Although we do occasionally enjoy a night out, we’re both a bit more on the homebody side, preferring to binge watch some of our favourite shows while the boys play in their respective ways. So, it’s all the more fun when we get to go out for a special occasion, such as last night. Our evening started with my wife picking me up from work and we went to a local restaurant that we’ve both been wanting to try. We had a fantastic meal and enjoyed ourselves before I decided to do a little something different…

They say that the gift for eight years of marriage is brass, so I started by getting my wife a small, brass heart pendant. I also got her some hardware for her phone to help it operate more smoothly. But for the past year or two, we’ve been playing with the idea of doing something akin to renewing our vows at our 10-year anniversary. With that concept in mind and assuming it would potentially take a year or two to plan anything pertinent, I got her a new wedding ring and proposed again!

She said yes again, so I must be doing something right! My boss was teasing me that if I propose again, I’m giving her an out and I need to be prepared for a different answer than I’m expecting. I was glad to see he was wrong. We capped off our evening by going to the book store. Of course, we did. It was a fantastic evening, loaded with joy and good company. With all the negative that happens in the world, it’s always important to take time to appreciate these special moments. They come and go in an instant but the memories last forever. ☯️

You Shouldn’t Drink Poison Just Because You’re Thirsty…

Anyone who’s read any number of my posts already know that the reduction/elimination of suffering is kinda my jam. Not only for myself but for others, as well. Life doesn’t make this easy, although some might argue that this simply represents a balance to life. After all, we wouldn’t recognize the light if not for the darkness, right?

Trying to navigate our way in life can be made all the more difficult when there are toxic people in our environment. I’ve dealt with more than my fair during my younger years. It never helped that I was significantly more timid in the years leading up to becoming a peace officer and before karate instilled a sense of self in me that I didn’t have before.

My point is that when someone is toxic and to be clear, this toxicity can be subjective to you, it takes away your positive energy, drags you down and makes you feel as though life is all that much harder. When I say it’s subjective, I mean that what’s toxic for one person may be perfectly fine for another. I believe an example is in order…

I once dated a girl that was a frequent drug user. Nothing out of this world and nothing with the level of seriousness that would require Will Smith and Martin Lawrence to suddenly jump on the scene. But serious enough that it bothered me. The worst part was when I brought it this person’s attention, only to have them snub me and disregard my thoughts and feelings.

Although that may sound a bit like modern snowflake thinking, the negativity and toxicity that person exuded affected all aspects of my life and worked towards dragging me down. But to someone like-minded and who also does it, her occasional recreational use of drugs would have seemed perfectly normal and the other person would likely have joined in. See? Subjective. Ultimately, I broke up with her when I walked into her house the one day and caught her in bed with another dude. Toxic, indeed.

This is but one example of different times in my life where I’ve had associations, either friendships or jobs, that imposed a negative energy on me and made life difficult. When it comes to. A job, it can be hard to walk away from a toxic environment, especially if it’s your only means of income. But believe me when I say that it isn’t worth it.

In the same way that you shouldn’t drink poison just because you’re thirsty, you shouldn’t maintain friendships that bring a negative element or toxicity into your life. It can be difficult, but learning to walk away will have you faring SO much better. Life is short. Ain’t no time for all that bullshit. Take care of yourselves first, and surround yourselves with people and an environment conducive to a positive existence. Food for thought… ☯️

Food For Thought…

I’ve seen this photo making the rounds on social media and online I general, lately. The message is sound and applies so much in modern life. It’s human nature to want to put something right, fix things or want things to remain the way they were. But more and more as time goes on, we come to see that if we hold on too tightly, we hurt ourselves worse than anything else could. That’s when you gotta let that shit go. Much like the photo where blood circulation is only restored once the rope is released, your soul can only find peace once you let go of the things weighing you down. Food for thought…☯️

The World May Burn While It Continues To Turn…

Life is tough. I don’t think I’m providing any enlightened insight, there. It’s even tougher when you’re alone. And that solitude is all the more difficult when it comes as no fault of one’s own. Throughout my youth, I spent many an hour by myself. Always a bit of an outcast, I didn’t have many friends during my childhood and the ones I did have were quick to leave me behind when they found someone better. By “better,” I mean better from THEIR perspective; not realistically better.

In fact, I remember a kid I used to spend time with that I considered to be my best friend, whatever that means at such a young age. He quickly started spending time with another kid who had more money, better gadgets and toys and access to a car when we reached our teens. It didn’t matter that the other guy was an absolute asshat who used people until he grew tired of them and then tossed them aside. I was left in the weeds despite all of that. Things don’t get much better into adulthood, with self-proclaimed “friends” often leaving you behind in favour of what they consider to be greener pastures.

You only get out of life what you choose to put into it. If life serves you lemons and all you do is stare at them, you’ll never get to taste the lemonade. It’s only through the effort of cutting, squeezing and zesting those lemons, then adding sugar and water to the mix that it will become the tasty accomplishment that we know as lemonade. Maybe that’s a bit of a cheesy comparison but it’s accurate. People will often use you and toss you aside when they’re done with you. In some cases, this doesn’t mean that they’re inherently bad people; it simply means they were never taught any better.

When life gets you down and you feel like you’re all alone, use that time to your advantage. Spend some time getting to know yourself and discovering who you are and what you want out of life. Read that book you’ve left sitting on your shelf for the past few years. Spend some time outside watching the world. Sit in on a movie at a theatre that you’ve wanted to see. Take a trip. Some time alone can be important in order to help one reflect and truly allow themselves to become who they are.

Take it from someone who spent most of his youth by himself; being a loner doesn’t mean that you ARE a loner. It simply means that you’re unique and outside the confines of the expected social norm. And there’s nothing wrong with that. If the people within your scope of existence don’t like who you are and don’t want to stick around, so be it. That means that they weren’t meant to be part of your inner circle. Eventually, people will come into your life that are worth keeping around. And at that point, you’ll discover that they not only appreciate you for who you are and HOW you are; they’ll also become an integral part of that journey and may help you discover a few things along the way. Food for thought… ☯️