Yes, buckle up folks! It’s gonna be one of THOSE posts. As seems to be the routine every year for the past few years, I’m currently awaiting to board the first of two flights that will take me the long way home to New Brunswick to visit my mother and father. I’ll be gone for a number of days and as is my custom, I’ll be sharing thoughts, experiences and walking my readers through what’s happening on the East Coast’s North Shore on a day-to-day basis. I already have some friends and family set up that I will be visiting during the trip, and there should be some augury of positivity to go with the negative. So hopefully, I don’t get bogged down in a week-long bitchfest about traveling. But as most of you know, if you’ve been reading my posts over the years, I’m not a big damn of flying, being around large crowds and being contained in tight spaces. An airplane covers all three of those things…
It’s already been a bit of a harsh morning, waking at an hour that sees most people still quietly sleeping without concerns of the outside world. I awoke about ten minutes before my 3 a.m. alarm; an unfortunate byproduct of being Type-1 Diabetic and wearing an insulin pump. Last night’s installation of a new CGM sensor required a second calibration at about 2:50 this morning, rendering the last ten miners of sleep you’ve pointless and getting me out of bed all that much earlier. Not like I was exactly sleeping deeply anyway. My family were absolutely on the ball this morning. More so than I was, in fact. My boys were already out the door with shoes on, piling into our car, before I had even finished getting dressed. I drove to get us here, and was comfortably impressed at how easily my city streets are to navigate and how quickly one can reach places when it’s the middle of the night and there’s no traffic. It made me nostalgic for my policing days, when I would patrol municipal streets during the wee hours of the night, no other vehicles or traffic with nothing but the quiet streets to keep me company. But I digress…
This trip is intended to look into a number of concerning items regarding my parents that apparently can’t be dealt with by email or telephone. I won’t get into the nitty gritty of those concerns. I’ll only say that after calling twice and emailing once, over the course of the past two months, and getting no reply, I felt it was time to go out and determine what’s happening myself. Family is great and I do have some family still out there, but they can and should only do so much. After all, they’re MY parents and as the only child, I have a direct responsibility for ensuring the folks who gave me life and raised me are well looked after. As I’ve written on previous trips, going home is a strange experience for me now. Having lived in Saskatchewan for almost 20 years at this point, I always had the comfort of safe Harbour when I returned home. A warm bed in my mother’s home and family greetings that included home cooked meals and attentions paid. Such is not the case any longer.
Now, when I travel back home, I do so alone. The rising cost of airline travel coupled with vehicle rentals, accommodations and incidental costs make it far too expensive to rationalize bringing my entire household with me, even though exposure to the Maritime air and energy would be great for them. When I make my way home, I no longer have a home to go to. This means that the only way to see my mother and father is to modify them within their care home. My mother has dementia and no longer understands she still has a living son. My father is beginning to show signs of dementia but historically, when I visit him, he’s sleeping with little to no chance of waking him. It makes for a difficult dynamic and tends to bring equal amount of emotional pain to whatever small vestiges of nostalgia I may be experiencing. So much has changed during my absence from in home Province. My home town is still recognizable; I can wander some of the places I used to live as a kid, wander or mountain and drink in the beautiful views of the open bay against the Appalachian mountains.
But in the end, I’m still very much alone. I should have the opportunity to visit with Sensei, along with a couple of close friends who are still there. Otherwise, it will be a packed few days of sorting through my parents’ affairs and ensuring everything is in line. While it will be a visit slotted within the duties of a son, there shirts nonetheless be some time for the beauty and calm that only the North Shore can provide. I have a long day of airports and waiting ahead of me. Such is the way of it, any time I travel home. Here’s hoping the trip goes smoothly and I have nothing “exciting” to write about. That would, ultimately, be the best thing that could happen over this trip. But stay tuned; I’ll keep y’all posted. ☯️
The Blogging Buddhist 