No complicated narrative or explanations about anything in depth, today. Just a straight-up good old fashioned Merry Christmas. That’s right, I’ll be one of THOSE… I know the common practice in modern times is to wish folks “Happy Holidays,” but today is Christmas so I’m saying Merry Christmas. With that in mind, I’ll also wish everybody Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah and all the best in the New Year to come.
Have safe and comfortable holidays. I wish nothing but comfort and happiness to all my readers and their families. With any luck, the previous year’s woes will evaporate as the New Year unfolds and there will be better things waiting, just around the corner. Take care of each other and keep reading. ☯️
Sometimes I find it hard to believe that it’s been almost two years since the pandemic started and changed the face of the world forever. in some ways, many ways, the pandemic has allowed people’s true colours to rear their ugly heads. People allowing their sense of entitlement and their perceived rights to interfere with doing “what’s right,” and as a result, this whole thing has lingered for far longer than it should have.
I’m not here to advocate for vaccination. Not am I saying a person shouldn’t. But what i am saying is that it’s 2021 9soon to be 2022) and the population should be far more enlightened by this point than what they are. Society has divided itself in ways that haven’t been seen in recent memory, at least here in Canada. So on the eve of one of the most widely recognized holidays on the Gregoria’s calendar, allow me the indulgence of moment’s reflection and advice.
Be kinder to each and have some understanding. Everyone is scared. Everyone is worried. And everyone is mostly trying to do what they feel is best for themselves and their families. I’ve yet to encounter a person who is intentionally taking a stance on one side or the other for the intentional purpose of sowing dissension. Oh, I’m sure they’re out there. I’m simply saying that it’s wrong to assume that the neighbour who chooses NOT to be vaccinated is intentionally trying to bring harm to others, or the retail store employee requiring you to put on a mask is trying to ruin your day.
Everyone is trying to do their best, even if sometimes misguided or misinformed. And for those still braving the wilds of the outside world, the challenges are greater still. So, on the eve of the second Christmas where the world is at a standstill and many of us are far from our families and loved ones, take this opportunity to reflect and appreciate the most important aspect about this whole debacle: YOU are still here. Life is still taking place and there’s still so much to do, so show some empathy. Show some sympathy. Follow the rules and avoid causing suffering in yourself and others. only with those concepts in mind can the world begin to move forward. Food for thought…☯️
Last June, my wife decided to gift me a small succulent plant for our anniversary. I could have sworn I wrote a post about this but now I can’t find it. Either I didn’t, which is possible considering the number of posts I’ve written, or I did and my WordPress is glitching. In any event, my wife gave me this lovely little succulent to place in my office, which is likely the best gift that one could provide for a Buddhist. In essence, she gave me a touch of life to brighten up my work environment.
This is important, because most people associate the workplace with a full day of negativity. It’s great in concept to suggest to people to “do what you love,” but not everyone has that option. Granted, I’m absolutely enamoured with my job and love going into work, but there’s always room for more positivity in life, right? The bottom line is that I spent my first couple of months putting a personal touch on my office space. This can be important as work becomes so much smoother once your work space has a “homey” feeling to it. This shouldn’t be confused preventing the association of work within the actual home.
“Herb” during his first day in my office…
I decided to post the succulent on my personal FaceBook page, which is something I typically don’t do, and received some great name suggestions. I landed on naming the plant, “Herb.” I’ve never had much of a green thumb and I was a bit concerned with taking care of a living thing within my workspace. But a succulent is likely the best type of plant to give someone in this context, as it requires minimal watering and only needs passive sunlight. While I don’t subscribe to the concept of talking to one’s plants, I make a habit of playing some meditative music in the office, which I think likely benefits Herb. I couldn’t necessarily find definitive articles showing the benefits of music to plants, but I’ve heard a lot about it in previous years.
Herb is the first thing I see when I walk into my office. He gets a touch of water, every Monday morning and he gets a couple hours of passive sunlight with the rising sun, every morning. It’s been a nice addition and a positive presence within my office. Certainly not my most comprehensive or informative post I’ve ever written but sometimes it’s nice to share something simple. And this happens to be one of those things.
“Herb’s” selfie, almost nine months later…
It’s subtle, because succulents don’t grow quite as rampantly as many other plants would but you can definitely tell from the two photos I’ve shared that Herb has started to grow outwards beyond the rim of his pot. The slight added weight of his “branches” has caused a bit of a flattened look for his lower stalks, but his centre is still proudly sprouting upwards and these photos certainly help me to see that growth is definitely happening.
Plants are certainly a positive way to brighten one’s environment, whether at home or at the office. The important thing to remember is that a plant is a living thing, no different from a household pet. It requires attention, watering and care. Many people get plants and then let them sit there and all but forget about them. You still need to give them some attention and care, otherwise you’re better off simply NOT getting a plant. For me, given the growth Herb has shown in recent months, I can’t wait to see what progress he’ll show in the year to follow. ☯️
All life is a game of balance. By that statement, it would make sense that the negative needs to exist in order to complement the positive. While most of us live our lives within the confines of this balance, most would agree that it’s more pleasing and typically one’s goal to live within the positive, as negativity tends to bring suffering. And suffering is not good. At all.
So what can one do to simply and effectively eliminate negativity from one’s life? Following the Eightfold Path is certainly a good way to start. Right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right concentration and right mindfulness are good practices to have in order to eliminate the negative aspects of one’s life. But not everyone prescribes to these aspects, and society has a funny way of associating happiness with material belongings and tangible pleasures.
Unfortunately, some people experience the most negativity in their lives from other people. Have you ever had a toxic individual in your life? Someone that always seems to go against the grain and make things difficult? But you continue to keep them in your life because they may be a long-time friend, associate or even a family member. Occasionally, you won’t even have the choice. It can be someone brought into your life by virtue of someone ELSE’s choice, like a sibling or friend marrying someone toxic.
Sometimes it isn’t even so much that the person is TOXIC, per se. Sometimes it’s a simple matter of the person unfortunately living within their own negativity. And when someone is always negative, it just kind of seems to suck the air and energy out of the room. It’s important to note as well, that a person may not inherently be negative but their perspectives and life views may simply not be in line with yours. This can be even worse, since it means that even if they’re not negative themselves, it’s causing negativity within your own life by virtue of those differences.
So, should one cut such people out of their lives? This can be a difficult decision, especially if there’s a personal connection spanning years and possibly decades. I’ve faced that very situation, myself. Having someone who’s always difficult, negative and argumentative can be draining on a person’s soul, and common sense would dictate that knowing such a person for an extended period of time doesn’t make it worth it to have them linger in one’s life if all they do is spread negative energy into your existence.
There’s no easy answer. In fact, there’s no answer I can provide here. Each and every situation is different and subjective but it’s important to remember that one’s overall happiness will come as a result of their own actions; even if those actions mean cutting ties with someone you’ve associated with for years. Careful contemplation and consideration needs to be included but at the end of the day, like all things in life, one must do what’s in the best interest of one’s overall health and wellbeing. Food for thought…☯️
I used to watch a comedy skit show, back in the 90’s and early 2000’s. It wasn’t Saturday Night Live but it was something similar to that. They had this skit they ran called “Lowered Expectations” about a dating sight for folks who had basically given up and would date anybody. I found it funny back then, even during times when I was single, myself. But I can imagine the scene wouldn’t play out too well in today’s demographic, given everyone’s sensitivity to every little thing under the sun. But I digress…
The topic of today’s post isn’t about comedy or that particular show, which I still can’t recall and can’t be bothered to Google. The focus is expectation, as it relates to daily life. Funny things, expectations. Everyone has them, everyone focuses their efforts on them but very rarely do they pan out. And why is that? Perhaps it’s because anything worth having in this life needs to be worked for and CAN’T be expected. But hey, what do I know? I’ve expected things in life, just like everyone else.
When I was younger, I was FULL of expectations. I expected to graduate high school. I expected to complete a college or university education, get married, get a black belt, open a karate school, be debt-free and live out all of my dreams before calmly and peacefully moving on to the next life. Of course, I also expected to see a cure for Type-1 Diabetes in this lifetime. The jury’s out on whether that one will happen or not.
Granted, I accomplished some of the things listed above. None of it was without difficulty and some augury of suffering, but most things in life are difficult. Life isn’t meant to be easy. The big piece is being able to tell the difference between a goal and an expectation. A goal is defined as the object of a person’s ambition or effort, a desired result of something that one strives to achieve. An expectation is the belief that something will happen.
There is a correlation between goals and expectation. After all, if you put your maximum effort behind accomplishing a goal, you can likely expect that you’ll be successful. But what if you aren’t? Should you EVER expect the end results of your goals to be positive? It raises an important philosophical question about one’s ability to think positively and eliminate suffering in one’s life. After all, why WOULDN’T I be succesful if I set goals and work hard at them, right?
The problem is, and I seem to utter this thought in almost every post I write, that life doesn’t care about one’s plans. Life happens REGARDLESS of one’s plans and is often counterintuitive to one’s efforts. this makes expecting a particular outcome to be as efficient as using the concept of winning the lottery as your retirement plan. It’ll work, should you ever win the lottery. But the odds of that happening are ridiculously unlikely.
My point here is that I couldn’t sit back and expect that any of the goals I described in the third paragraph to happen on their own. I had to work at them and fight to accomplish those goals. If I expected to complete a post-secondary education as opposed to putting in the hard work, there would be empty spaces on my walls as opposed to where my certifications are displayed. If I expected to achieve a certain degree of skill in the martial arts without all the blood, sweat and tears I put in, I never would have reached my previous goals and continue to work towards the ones I’ve set for the future.
Don’t sit back. Don’t expect things to happen. You need to step out into the light and MAKE them happen. I see an unfortunately high number of articles I’ve read where the concept of no longer working hard and going through struggle to achieve one’s goals is becoming a thing. What kind of new-age, snowflake crap is that? Life doesn’t happen to those who sit back and wait for it. Although it’s important to find peace within one’s own life, if you sit back and wait for the float with your expectations to arrive, the whole parade will pass you by. Food for thought… ☯️
Ah, multitasking… How often have we heard the term throughout our personal and professional lives? As a child, I used to hear it the most from teachers. “Oh, you need to learnt to multitask in order to get things done…” In college, it was almost an expectation and a mantra that students were expected to multitask. Multitask this, multitask that, get things done… I made my way through life with the concept that one had to always be taking care of many things at once, in order to keep up. Although this belief was created and grown by the adults and influences around me, I have to recognize that I played my part in developing the belief that I could, in fact, multitask. But I was wrong. And so are you, if you believe you’re actually multitasking…
Multitasking is a myth. Our brains are not wired to perform high level functions required to accomplish many simultaneous tasks at once. When someone is “multitasking,” they’re usually dividing their attentions between the tasks that they’re performing, albeit quickly enough that they feel they may be doing them simultaneously. The problem with this, is that we run the risk of leaving one task linger or leaving it behind. As we do this consistently throughout the day, we also run the risk of carrying the weight of all those uncompleted tasks along with us, throughout the day. This can result in feeling additional stress and pressure of all the weight we’re carrying, which could have easily been avoided by completing one task before on to the next.
An article posted by the Cleveland Clinic entitled Why Multitasking Doesn’t Work, explains that “We’re really wired to be monotaskers, meaning that our brains can only focus on one task at a time. When we think we’re multitasking, most often we aren’t really doing two things at once, but instead, we’re doing individual actions in rapid succession, or task-switching.” The article gores on to say that “when our brain is constantly switching gears to bounce back and forth between tasks […] we become less efficient and more likely to make a mistake.”
For example, I seem to be constantly interrupted by my children for various reasons while trying to write this post. As a result, I’ve had to correct and re-write various portions of the post, even some simple sentences. Another good example is while trying to learn in school. Although taking notes during a lecture is something we all grew up doing, this activity can be a hindrance since one’s attention needs to be focused on the lecture and not taking notes. As you jot down notes, you’ll be prone to miss things that are said or ask the lecturer to repeat themselves because your attention was on your notes as opposed to on what was being said.
You’re probably thinking, that’s all bullshit! I multitask ALL the time, I cook while chatting with my family, I watch television while folding laundry… Although it may seem as thought you’re doing these things simultaneously, you’re really not. And it isn’t all that noticeable when it’s simple tasks that you’re accustomed to performing. It becomes more problematic when the task in question becomes more complicated, convoluted or has something at stake, such as work performance. This is why it’s important to be present in the moment and focus on only one thing at a time. Even when you have a list of things to accomplish, completing one task before moving on to thew next ensures completion of given tasks and less opportunity for oversight and mistakes.
This isn’t a new concept, nor am I revealing anything earth-shattering. But even in the present day, when the pressures and requirements of daily life have done nothing but grow and increase, people still believe that they can perform several tasks at once. And to an extent, maybe they can. But the results are much more positive when we take it one thing at a time. Be in the now. Focus on the present. begin and complete one item before moving on to the next, unless prioritization forces you to do otherwise. The result will be better efficiency, less stress, less pressure and the possibility of living in the moment, which is where we all belong. ☯️
I’m extremely proud of what I’ll be writing about today but not so proud of how much of a struggle it was to get here, so there may be a bit of a rant component built in. Buckle up! At the beginning of November, I decided to participate in “Movember,” which is a month intended to raise funds for prostate cancer, testicular cancer, men’s health and suicide prevention. It’s a solid initiative and I’ve been participating for years. For the most part, I’ve usually been a participant in someone else’s group. So I would donate my money, grow out my moustache in exchange for donations then shave on December 1st.
This year, I decided to play it a bit differently since I manage an actual staff. In response to this, I got a feel for everyone’s interest and it was decided I would lead the group in raising money and participating. We made our donations and started to eagerly grow our moustaches. In my zeal, I set our group’s goal to $500, which was a few hundred higher than what we had all contributed but quite modest when compared to how much others usually start GoFund Me’s and donation pages for. But to ensure my group’s success, I reached out on my social media platforms (here included) for help in reaching this goal. The results were disappointing…
Tom Selleck, eat your heart out! After photo, taken yesterday (I don’t have the before one available)
I’ve always believed that if one is able to help others, then one has a responsibility to do so. Although I totally understand that times are tough, I’ve never been one to ask for donations or help with fundraising. I give often, to different charitable organizations, even when I can only spares a few dollars. I’ve helped many, and despite the fact I’m writing the words now, I have always done so without the expectation of recognition or reciprocation. After all, why do something good if it’s just for some form of reward? At that point, it’s simply quid pro quo and not ACTUALLY doing something good…
So, why does it bother me so much that I had to ask repeatedly and often, across three different platforms containing hundreds of known associates, friends and family? The world has taken a significant hit below the belt in the past two years, but am I wrong to think that many if not most, could have contributed $10? $5? A dollar, even? If most of the people on my social media had done that, we would have no doubt reached and even exceeded our goal within the first couple of weeks.
At the end of the day, I can’t fault those who ignored my request for help… A big part of charitable giving is that it needs to come from the donor of their own choice. There can’t be an expectation. And I did have a number of people who provided donations and for that, I thank them sincerely from the bottom of my heart. My team and I are grateful and thanks to these donations, we reach $505 and I was able to shave this light-awful soup strainer off my face.
The experience has taught me a few things, including the fact that I believe next year, I’ll go back to simply being a participant instead of an organizer. I had deep thoughts about raising donations for Diabetes by cycling, but I think my place is to donate, not raise. Since I’ve never really done this before, I was somehow of the impression that more people would step up to lend a hand. Lesson learned. Rant over. ☯️
No one would argue that I can get pretty wordy and my posts can run fairly long. That’s why I often enjoy simply sharing an image, motivational quote or something simple in order to offset that wordiness. After 1,010 posts, I’m sure there’s enough content to fill a book, if I had a mind to. I found this little gem while going through my photo folders looking for something else. I forgot I had it and I may have posted it before, but that’s okay. Content can always be fresh, taking into account new followers and readers.
I like this image because it makes a very solid point. Most people are quick to talk about all the things Diabetes causes. And they’re not wrong. Type-1 Diabetes causes more complications and difficulties than I can count. But it also creates fighters. Committed warriors who will fight against Diabetes with their last breath. I should know; I’m one of them. ☯️
Communication is hard. One wouldn’t think so, given that we live in an age where we have so many different ways to do it. With electronic communications and social media becoming all the rage in the past two decades, one would be inclined to think our ability to communication would have increased and improved. But it continues to amaze me how many if not most people have difficulty communicating effectively. And I’ve observed a number fo reasons for that. Let’s explore this line of thinking a little bit…
I remember an instance years ago when I was texting my wife about supper. She was at work and nearing the end of her day and was no doubt tired and looking forward to coming home. She asked if I had eaten yet, to which I replied “no why did you want to eat with me?” Read that poorly crafted sentence once more time… Do you notice what’s missing? I didn’t, until my wife came home and appeared to be upset with me. What I SHOULD have replied with is, “No, why? Did you want to eat with me?” This would have been a correct sentence structure and would have posed the question as whether my wife wanted to have supper with me. The lack of punctuation in the first one basically makes it look like I’m an asshole questioning WHY she wants to eat with me.
This is a pretty simple example, but a pretty accurate one as it relates to written communication. We live in a society where text messaging and messaging apps have become the primary means of communication. There are plenty of jokes floating around about one’s phone ringing and the the recipient thinking, why aren’t they just texting me? before ignoring the call. I’ll admit that I’ve been guilty of doing that very thing on more than one occasion. Much to the chagrin of the people trying to call. I make exceptions for the folks I know who don’t use text messaging, like my mother. But otherwise, come on! That totally could have been a text!
All jokes aside, grammar and punctuation play an important role in how one’s message is relayed. In a world of emojis and abbreviations over text-written communication, it can be difficult to discern the sender’s intended message. It can be EASY to misinterpret it and assume a different message than what the sender meant. Plus, communicating through a device or by text takes away all those little aspects of communication that humans have spent their entire existence using, such as hand movements, body language and facial expressions. If you’re on a date and the girl says, “You’re an idiot!” but laughs and gently places her hand on your shoulder, you’ll likely be inclined to be relaxed and assume it has an affectionate meaning. If she looks at you with a frown or screams it at you, she may genuinely think you’re an idiot. But I digress…
The point is that body language plays a bit part in how effective one’s communication can be and how the message is interpreted. But even bigger than that, is the fact that communicating effectively requires a minimum of two parties. there’s nothing worse than trying to communicate with someone who’s shut down, distracted or not listening. Sensei always used to tell me that I have two ears and only one mouth, so I should listen twice as much as I talk. I always thought that was so clever of him. It wouldn’t be until years later that I would find out the expression was coined by the greek philosopher Epictetus. But regardless of the source, they’re wise words, nonetheless.
Communication is a core aspect of socialization. In a world where the average person spends their day with their neck craned over a smart device, two-way communication with another person in good conversation is also part of a person’s mental wellbeing. Even people who “prefer to be alone” eventually get lonely. Although some people can sit together in comfortable silence, this usually isn’t achieved with the average pairing of people in everyday situations. Communication must be a two-way street, with both parties actively listening AND hearing and both parties contributing. This can mean the difference between effective communication or being misunderstood, whether type-written or in person. Food for thought… ☯️
Tempus fugit. Time flies. Yes, yes it does. Seven years ago I stepped into an entirely new world. I became a father. My son Nathan turned seven years old yesterday. At his request, we celebrated with pizza and a Spider-man cake. We also showered him with a number fo gifts, which included the Paw Patrol movie, a HUGE Paw Patrol vehicle (I can’t remember what they’re all called) and a visit from Grandma and Auntie. It was a good time and there’s no denying that he’s getting older. He’s coming into his own, developing his own personality and certainly challenges me on a daily basis.
Our first cuddle session, about a week after he was born. We were STILL in the hospital.
I still remember the day he was born. I should have been nervous and scared but I was more paranoid about what the hospital might do to him than his coming into the world. When he was finally out, my wife went to recovery and I stuck to him the whole time. He’s been a clingy, daddy’s boy ever since. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Like any kid, he drives me crazy sometimes. But I love him to alpha Centauri and back.
Proudly displaying his age, yesterday.Being his usual, goofy self while I try on sweaters.Let’s just ignore my double chin and that wound on my upper lip, shall we?
A non-stop dynamo of energy and motivation, Nathan has a wonderful view on life and is always ready with a hug or a long, convoluted story about what he believes the origin of a particular thing may be. If he carries this energy and imagination into his later years, he’ll go far in life. And I’m sure he will. ☯️
The Blogging Buddhist 