Proper Etiquette, Or False Entitlement?

It’s a clam, quiet Saturday morning. After waking up and getting dressed, you decide it might be nice to bring your child to a local coffee shop for a breakfast pastry of a muffin. You take the opportunity to avail yourself of your favorite breakfast sandwich and a dark roast coffee, intent on watching the world around you as your 6-year old enjoys a rare outing combined with a treat. You walk into the popular coffee chain and as one could expect, the place is what the kids would call “jumpin’.” Just about every table is occupied with at least one person. You begin to consider that maybe you’ll have to take your treats to go, when you spot one remaining table with no occupants. It happens to be a 5-seater with plush chairs and a round table. Your kid excitedly runs to the table and takes a seat. you take the one next to him. You settle in and begin to relax, letting the hot caffeine course through your system. Your kid does some people watching, and stares out the window at the sunny scenery of the world.

Just about then, a group of four loud, laughing individuals come walking in to the coffee shop. They appear to be happy in their entourage, smiling and seemingly enjoying their own company and environment. They order from the coffee shop staff with an almost intentional detachment., essentially ignoring the human beings serving them coffee outside of mumbling their drink order. As they receive their drinks, they scan the room for a place to sit. Their eyes fall on you and your child and they begin to walk over. You feel your sense of relaxation shatter and already know what’s coming. As they approach, the first one speaks, “Excuse me… Would mind freeing up the table? You and your kid are taking up the only space we can sit…” You casually remind this person that there are several 4-seater tables with only one occupant that they could ask, or wait until one of them departs but this is a rare weekend outing for you and your child and you won’t be moving until you’re both done. The group become indignant and begin raising their voices and making a scene, claiming you need to move for them and have no right to take up the space when they need it. You sigh heavily and look to your child, who watches you, wondering what your reaction will be…

It raises an important question, and one that you should ask yourself: What would you do in this situation? Would you cede your table to this loud, rude group? Or would you stand firm on the basis that as a paying customer, you have just as much right to the table, since you got there first? It’s a much more common occurrence than you might think. The world seems to have evolved to a place where people carry an undeserved sense of entitlement and expectations from others, instead of recognizing that the world does not revolve around them. They lack the understanding that respect, especially as it relates to strangers in the surrounding world, if very much earned from both sides. And the moment you step out of the door, the outside world owes you nothing. But people don’t seem to understand that. Modern society seems to think they can simply demand and expect, and the world will kowtow to their demands.

I’ve seen this in dozens of stories and posts where people expect others to give up certain seats on airline flights and pitch a fit when the occupants don’t comply. It’s right up there, with expressions like “the customer is always right” and “do you know who I am?” It can make it difficult to navigate the world unmolested or without being harassed, or even enjoy the word, as it sits. The scenario in the coffee shop is just one of many things that society throws at the reasonable people when all they’re trying to do is relax and enjoy their environment. Those entitled people don’t acknowledge the world around them and when they do, they only do so when they need something from them. It reminds me of a situation I ran into at the grocery store a short time ago. I was walking through the grocery store, picking up a couple of items before going home.

As I was making my way through the far back corner of the supermarket to start heading towards the front, a lady was walking along, idly thumbing on her cell phone. She appeared to have what I assumed were two sons with her; one about six or seven years old and one in his late teens. The teen son was pushing the cart. The first problem came as the lady casually cut in front of me to walk past, nearly colliding with me. I cleared my throat but she never noticed. Then, in a display of oblivious ignorance, the older son parked his cart diagonally across the aisle, effectively blocking anyone’s ability to walk through. Then, he sat there, waiting for his mother who had gone down the adjacent aisle. I coughed once. He didn’t move. Then, I said, “Excuse me?” The boy turned and saw me and said, “Oh, my bad, man…” and stepped away from the cart.

I felt my patience waning as I saw the scene play out and considered that I may be on film, perhaps for some reality show, that I wasn’t aware of. After all, how can rational people be that oblivious, right? I said, “Could you move your cart? You’re blocking the aisle, no one can get through.” The boy grabbed the cart and pulled it away. I barely got ten felt away when I was approached from behind by the mother, who had now hung up her phone and was acting as though I had just punched a puppy. Her puppy. “How dare you speak to my son that way…?” I almost laughed at her anger. I hadn’t raised my voice, I hadn’t been rude and all I did was ask him to move his cart so that people, myself included, could get through. Despite explaining this to her, she was acting like I had kicked her kid into the gutter and spat on him. She was indignant at the fact that I had the audacity to speak up or try to get by. This is also a common occurrence that I often see within the world.

Folks, life is short. Your time on this world is fleeting. And light knows that there’s enough suffering in the world. It’s important to remember not to intentionally cause more. The world owes you nothing. And the important thing is the energy you put out into the world is what will eventually come back to you. So, if all you do is live with an inflated sense of entitlement and you think the world owes you a living, you may be in for a rude awakening. No one owes you a damn thing. And respect is earned. So, if this is you, and you can relate to the scenarios outlined in this post, put your phone down, keep your eyes up and pay attention to the world around you. And focus on putting good out into the world. Important food for thought… ☯️