Life is all about finding balance and recognize the positive, despite the occasional shit storms of negative. This isn’t always an easy thing and some folks don’t do so well with focusing on the positive. I can freely admit that I’ve been guilty of this, myself. Often feeling depressed or despondent at the aspects of life I don’t have, as opposed to appreciating and liking the things I do have. I think we would all agree that there are integral aspects of life that will always be more important than everything else. These include family, health and a safe living environment. But the daily rigors of life sure can make those aspects hard to appreciate, sometimes…
I know for a fact that I’m not the only who’s been there. The work day is done and I slowly trudge my way to my car. Tired, head pounding and perhaps even a touch on the sweaty side, despite sitting in an office all day, I eagerly yearn for a period of quiet serenity in the safety of my home. Unfortunately, life rarely cares about one’s plan, which is a doctrine I use in daily life. My trip home is anything but serene as every fucker and their dog conveniently decides to choose THAT moment to head home as well, burying me in a flood of traffic, rude and incompetent drivers and turning what should be a 10-minute drive into nearly half an hour. Certain needs at home prompt a stop at the local market, where I contend with slow walkers, gawkers who seem to think they need to block every aisle as they blankly stare at one product for minutes on end and staff who believe it’s okay to sweep at my feet as I shop. Even the self-checkout, which I assume will give me respite from interacting with others, causes me issues as there is always an item that doesn’t go through or an issue with the scale that prompts the required intervention of staff.
Getting home doesn’t provide the sanctuary I had hoped, as my children all but pounce on me as I walk in the door. Exasperated and tired with my hands full, I resent their level of energy and the fact they don’t permit me to get in the door and offload my burdens before piling on with theirs. I then find myself needing to pass on necessary information from the day to my wife, who also provides key messaging about our oldest’s school day and things that are needed around the house. All of this takes place before I have even unknotted my tie. This is followed by trying to determine a meal that all four family members will gladly eat as well as where to eat it, since my toddler has commandeered the dining table for his latest, greatest Duplo block creation and there is no room to dine effectively. My oldest retreats to his bedroom, already exhibiting teen tendencies despite only being nine years old.
Once supper is done, the burden of daily chores that don’t happen on their own begin to take place. Dishes, laundry, washing the kids and getting them prepared for bed in a timely fashion consumes the majority of the evening. once all of this is accomplished, I may have a brief hour of uninterrupted quiet to myself before my aging body tells me I need to lie down for the night or potentially face deeper exhaustion the following day. All of this is keeping in mind that some nights involve trying to hit up karate class or bringing my oldest to Scouts, which adds a further delay to the evening and potentially a later bedtime. Then, if I’m lucky, I may sleep through the night or I may face issues with my blood sugars that will have me lose several hours of much-needed rest. And the hours I do get aren’t adequate as they are few and far between and sleep isn’t cumulative; you normally have to get it al in, in one sitting. Wash, rinse and repeat…
If one were to read through that narrative, it would likely be agreed that it seems pretty bleak and negative. Sounds horrible on its face, actually. It depicts the daily life of someone with little to no time for themselves and who spends their day in a perpetual state of servitude. It’s how most people go through life and how they see things. Sure, some will usually find escape in certain activities like sporting events, evenings out with the guys or hitting the local watering hole. These things don’t offer a solution to the burdens of life but rather compound them as any of them means time away from your home and family. And the requirements of life outlined above don’t go away; they just keep piling up until they’re dealt with.
That being said, there are always two sides to the scale and for every negative, there must absolutely and inevitably be, a positive. Such is balance. So while the average person may be exasperated and fed up with their daily grind, there is a sugar-coated, frosted silver lining to their dark cloud that most people choose not to acknowledge. Read the narrative of my daily grind from above one more time. Recognize how it might seem negative on its surface but take note of the important aspects of life that it includes. Now come back and read the following paragraphs, that outline the positivity to that narrative…
I have a job. I have stable, sustainable employment. Let me say that again: I HAVE A FUCKING JOB! This is important because realistically, not everyone today has stable employment. That, or they don’t make enough money to sustain their household’s needs. I’m blessed with the fact that not only do I have a job that ensures a daily work/life balance, it provides enough financial security to allow me to provide for my family and all of our needs. And if that wasn’t enough icing on the cake, I just happen to work a job where I get to help people and this provides satisfaction that I wouldn’t get elsewhere. Although most of us would love to win the lottery and spend our days sprawled in a hammock, there’s something to be said for having this aspect in one’s life. And it leads to many of the other points in the daily routine…
Being able to stop in at the grocery store and having ready access to whatever food and dietary needs my family may have, is a gift and blessing in and of itself. Not everyone is so lucky, In fact there are more and more people in Canada going without adequate food with every passing year. Despite traffic jams and other drivers, I am financially stable enough to have a safe, reliable means of travel that I not only use to come and go from my job but to transport my family to whatever we need to do, as well. I so often see people walking or standing at the bus stop, their hands full and their backs burdened, carrying several bags of groceries because they don’t have a car to get home. Or walking to their job in the rain because they can’t financially sustain themselves to purchase a vehicle.
When one gets home, one would expect to have some peace and quiet. Although it would be lovely to be able to step in, drop my burdens and change out of my daily work attire, it’s a blessing to have people who love me greet me excitedly at the door. To know that I was missed and that others are happy to have me home is a blessing, one that needs to be appreciated and recognized as opposed to resented. Given that for years, I wasn’t even certain if Diabetes would allow me to have children, they need to be seen for the acknowledged miracle that they are. Too many people spend their lives in a state of imposed solitude. Alone and with no one to help them through the struggles of life. My wife is a damn veteran in dealing with life and walking with me through the difficulties it presents.
Last but not least is how lucky I am to have access to medicines and technology that make the managing of my Type-1 Diabetes not only possible, but sustainably easy. If I were born a century ago, I would have lived for a couple of weeks past my diagnosis before succumbing and dying to Diabetic symptoms. Hell, I was born in the 1970’s and even then, our lack of understanding and poor technology was enough to put my life in peril. Nowadays, the access to insulin and medications needed to keep me alive and healthy is nothing short of miraculous. Despite the occasional issue, I live well. My insulin pump is a piece of absolute, fucking technological marvel and I can’t imagine ever going back to life without it.
The point I’m trying to make with this long-winded post, if you’ve managed ot keep reading this far, is that life is good. Despite the fact that most people choose to see life through the first lens, it’s important to acknowledge the positivity that comes with seeing it through the second lens. Doing so will help you in recognizing that even when you’re tired and exasperated with life, you should be happy and fortunate with all of the good things you have in your life that not only make your life worth living but add significance substance to who you are as a person. A secure job, safe, comfortable home and a loving family are aspects of life to be revered and appreciated. Doing so will ensure a deeper sense of happiness and accomplishment in life. Food for thought… ☯️
The Blogging Buddhist 