It’s a natural instinct to want the things we don’t have. In some instances, this is called ambition, or having goals. This concept applies even when it happened to be something we CAN’T have, although many of us can’t differentiate the difference between “don’t” and “can’t.” But many things in life are often taken for granted, at a time in our lives when we don’t even realize we’re better off.
A good example of this is sleep. How many times have we fought off bedtime or refused to nap as children, afraid to miss something important in our day or preferring to play or watch television than get some sleep. It always seemed so arbitrary and unnecessary. For myself, I was always a little too smart for my own good; I would rationalize that even if I stayed up now, I could sleep more at the other end. This didn’t always work in my favour, considering my parents had to work, run errands and meet appointments, which didn’t always allow me to lounge in my bed at my leisure…
As an adult, I often look back at those days of menial defiance and recognize that I often wish I could go back to a time when my only concern on a weekend was wether I actually took the nap or not. And I can assuredly promise that I would take advantage and crash hard. These days, between work obligations, family obligations, children, errands and chores, there is little time for naps and even a proper night’s sleep is often interrupted by the difficulties of Type-1 Diabetes or the pitter-patter of tiny feet, sneaking out of their bedrooms to pilfer snacks or retrieve their forbidden electronic devices. But I digress…
My point is, we rarely take the opportunity to appreciate the circumstance we’re in; usually preferring to yearn and wish for the circumstances that could be. But if I use my sleep scenario as an example, the issue is not wishing one could go back but rather examining one’s current state and contemplating what one might do to change it for the better. Want that afternoon nap on the weekends? There may be some compromise and negotiating to be done but it isn’t impossible. That’s where the concept of goals come in, after all.
As pack animals, humans will also yearn for what they see others possess. Whether it’s a bigger house, a fancy car or an apparent high-paying job that one may think is far better than their own, the acquisition of material possession and wealth is considered not only a societal norm in the Western world, but an expectation. But how better off are these folks who have everything you covet? Are they truly happier or well off? Or is there a storm brewing under the surface of their existence that you may not be seeing.
They say that money can’t buy happiness. I’ve heard and read that saying more times than I can possibly remember. This makes sense, since I was raised in a household where material possession and acquisition of wealth made way for our overall health. We spent so much time in hospitals and travelling to see specialists, all of our time, efforts and resources as a family went to that. In some ways, in many ways, we were better off as this meant that we learned to enjoy the simpler things in life. A quiet night’s sleep where neither child woke up dying. A warm afternoon of swimming in a local brook or river. It’s true what they say that some of the best things in life are free.
But although money can’t buy happiness, it can alleviate the pressures associated with everyday life that prevent said happiness. That’s the caveat that those who would spout that rhetoric seem to forget. But for the high-salary executive who makes a shit ton of money, the over-extended hours of work and time away from their families, coupled with the stress and burnout of the job, are just some of the negative aspects that they don’t display on their public face. This is why, while one may look at that executive and think they’ve totally got it made, their home and family life are in shambles BECAUSE of their success, instead of being aided by it. As with all other things in life, there must be a balance…
So, what’s the point of all of this? I’ve thrown out a lot of words and used a few sayings and have made a few solid points but the ultimate one for today is that one should be happy with what they’ve got and stop wanting everything they see elsewhere; whether it’s in someone else’s possession or not. Make your goals, work towards your dreams but always remember that the here and now likely isn’t anywhere near as bad as you feel it is because you haven’t reached those goals yet. Money truly doesn’t buy happiness. And even if the grass happens to be greener on the other side, it didn’t get that way on its own. And it usually harbours the same bugs as your own grass does. Food for thought… ☯️
The Blogging Buddhist 