Like most people, I’ve suffered through trusting people who have burned me badly in life. This has applied to both my personal and professional life, with some of the ones who violated my trust being something of a surprise when it happened. It’s a special kind of hell when someone you know and trust contravenes that trust, especially when you opened yourself up and made yourself vulnerable; something you may not have done in most cases.
As my 7-year old awkwardly found out a couple of weeks ago, trust is a bit like a fart… If you have to force it, it’ll likely be shit. We all have an inherent instinct to recognize when someone is significantly untrustworthy. But what about the ones that AREN’T significant? Does that make that lack of trust any less important? I guess it depends on the nature of the mistrust.
For the most part, people tend to fall under two categories: the ones who believe that trust is earned and the ones who feel that they can trust an individual until they betray that trust and then the trust needs to be rebuilt or re-earned. I’m sure there are many other sub-categories” and I’m mostly thinking out loud, here. But it’s important to acknowledge that unlike respect, which includes individuals who may have some passing entitlement by virtue of their station or association to you, trust falls under a different category and can be murky waters to try and navigate.
Nothing that I’m saying here is rocket science and I don’t think any of you are slapping your forehead in some sudden shock of epiphany. All I’m saying with today’s post is that life doesn’t care about one’s plan and some times, the only way to genuinely learn is by taking the leap and seeing where it takes you. There are a number of individuals that I’ve met, associated and befriended that although I don’t necessarily wish I hadn’t, I recognize that they’ve said and done things that have brought damage and difficulty to my life and are no longer deserving of my trust.
If such instances never happened, one could easily develop and unfortunate “blind trust,” where one believes that trusting anyone in any situation is just fine and there are no issues with that. Ultimately, we all need people we can trust in our lives. For me, I’m blessed to have my wife and a few friends and associates that I know I can trust implicitly. But the only way I know that is because I’ve been through the difficult situations that are the opposite of that.
They may have sucked and have been difficult to get through, some have caused damage to my life that I may feel for years to come, but they were a necessary part of my growth and life experience. As long as one ensures to protect oneself as best as they can, that’s really all one can do while navigating the stormy seas of life. As usual, food for thought… ☯️